Your party encounters this while exploring a dungeon. How do they respond?
I break character and punch the GM in real life... then leave and find something else to do with my Friday night.
I punch the dog right in the kisser, then I apologize and give him some lovin
Dogs are not super sensitive to pain im not worried about hurting it with one punch
I punch my dogs all the time when we are play fighting, never had one yelp
Beat on the door with one of our adamantine weapons until it breaks.
Get the rogue to unlock it.
Have the wizard cast Knock.
Have the rogue search around for the mechanism that would give the key and dismantle it.
>>44566109
I see no mechanism attached to the dog, so the key must be held by someone. Find them and punch them for the key.
Sign doesn't say how hard I gotta punch him. Just give him a soft bop on the nose, get the key, and adopt the little guy.
>>44566156
>I punch the dog
>I punch my dogs all the time
>>44566109
I punch its ass with my dick
Take the puppy. Lifetime companionship is clearly a better treasure than whatever was at the bottom of this thing.
>>44566128
>leave and find something else to do
Like getting arrested?
>>44566109
>adopt puppy
>leave
>go explore a different dungeon with my new friend
Gaining an animal companion is better than most loot drops anyway.
>>44566109
Detect Evil.
I punch the dog.
No one said it had to be hard. Or painful.
>>44566109
Wild empathy, get the key without any violence. Release the dog and make it our new companion.
>>44566109
It's in a dungeon. Mimics live in dungeons. It would be a dick move for a mimic to pull. Mimics pull dick moves. QED it's a mimic.
Thus I stay away from it, check the room for traps and identify the key delivery mechanism. Then we force the mechanism, take the key and move on.
>>44566109
Has no-one thought of freeing the dog and then tricking whatever mechanism is in place with the rogue's trap abilities and the druid's wildshape? Cause that's the first thing my party would do
>>44566205
This
>>44566109
Very lightly nudge the dog's head with my fist.
"There, I punched the dog."
>>44566245
I live in America.I'd be more likely to get shot by the police... for committing no crime at all.
>>44566109
Something's not right here.
My character feeds the dog first, studying its behavior, and recalls what the key was for and why punching the dog would be important to retrieving it.
I'm guessing it's a monster of some sort, but I want to know for sure. If not, my character used to have a dog himself, so he wouldn't mind getting another. Just need to check for behavior issues and/or shapeshifting.
>>44566256
>only person in the thread that wants to live
You'll go far in life, Anon.
>>44566353
Well, I would have too, but my character can't Detect Evil and would instead rely on any item he can find that does the same- besides, a lot of monsters have no alignment anyways, due to being solely focused on eating.
>>44566313
>implying
The vast majority of people shot by the police are shot because they're being criminal shit heads.
>but did the poh leece really have to shoot Daquarius 12 times?
Seeing as the most common ways a gun incapacitates a person is through loss of blood pressure or CNS damage, with the former being far more common, and police being trained to magdump center mass, yes, they did have to shoot him 12 times. Fucking people bitch about the police never doing their job, then when they actually do their job, those people lecture them on how they think they should have done it. If you know so much about what cops should be doing why don't you go be a fucking cop.
>Be BBEG
>Tie a dog owned by some rich noble to a sign saying "punch for the key"
>Watch as adventurers beat the shit out of this dog and wonder why no key is appearing
>>44566422
>Catalog
/pol/ plz go.
>>44566109
>>44566109
BARBARIAN SMASH
BARBARIAN HUNGRY
>>44566549
I know that source...
>>44566470
If I was from /po/ I would have thrown in a rant about how it's all a conspiracy by the marxist jew lizard overlords. I'm just a guy that's tired of people who clearly don't know what they're talking about second guessing the police every time they shoot a guy. Do people get shot by the police that shouldn't have been shot? Definitely, no system is perfect. Is everyone the police shoot an innocent baby who didn't do nothing and was on their way to church when the racist Hitler worshiping cops decided that this guy needed to die because they have a dead black guy quota to fill? No. Maybe the police wouldn't need to shoot so many people if the media wasn't doing their best to turn people against the police. If you want to not get shot by the cops there are two effective ways to do so, A:don't break the law, or if you do, don't go full retard when you get caught doing it, and B:Get to know the police, they are people like you and me under that uniform. Basically, don't allow them or other outside forces to draw a line between you and them. They're like you, people just trying to do a job. Don't go out of your way to make them the enemy and chances are they'll return the favor
>>44566109
i know this comic, if you dont punch the dog it turns into a demon.
>>44566109
It says to punch the dog not to punch it strongly. so i just close my fist and gently touch my fist against him. There punch made it.
>>44566549
>Feast on your brians
>>44566732
source please?
>>44566755
i dont know the source but this thread has been made before, about a year ago i think, and someone posted source and the dog turns into a giant wolf-demon.
>>44566549
NO! NOT MY BRIANS! ANYTHING BUT THAT!
>>44566313
Only if you're black.
>>44566625
Then share it.For science.
>>44566818luscious.net/c/hentai_manga/albums/kishibe-sphinx-chans-ultra-quiz-english-ver-2_219740/view/
>>44566881
thank you kind sir.
>>44566422
>working for the crackdown
>being born with a living soul
Choose one you fucking fag
I punch the dog.
Why do people like dogs so much, but don't get there panties in a twist about the many, many industries that thrive off animal misery/death/etc.
I'm not even a petafag, quite the opposite. I really don't get animal rights.
>>44568863
Flaw (Lacks Empathy)
>>44568863
It's one thing to live with people raising animals to be used in lab testing for scientific progress, or so that we can eat them as food.
It's another thing to just fucking punch a dog, yourself, directly. And all because a sign said you'd get the key if you did that. Do you really trust that sign? Is causing a puppy pain really worth maybe getting a key?
>>44566109
Since this is a murderhobo campaign, I go above and beyond and simply kill the thing for the EXP.
>>44569734
You gain experience! Experience that will never leave you.
>>44568863
Agreed, cats and dogs are a complete waste of resources. Kill off most of them and use the remains as ether petfood for the survivors. Or feed the homeless/China.
>>44569603
I'm very empathetic to the plight of people, just not animals. They're just beasts to me.They're either food, clothing, or danger.
>>44569697
>Is causing a puppy pain really worth maybe getting a key?
Well, the key might lead you to something more valuable than a puppy's comfort. So yeah, I would cause a puppy pain if that meant potential rewards. Like you said, people get food and scientific knowledge from harming animals and that's fine. How is this different.
>>44569849
It's a lot easier to stomach something that's a bit more distant from us - we're not often doing the testing ourselves, or butchering chickens for meat - and it's also easier to accept something bad happening to someone or something if we think it's for the greater good, like scientific progress or allowing people to eat healthy balanced diets.
Whatever reward I might get for the key isn't worth it to me, compared to the suffering I would cause the puppy in punching it. I already have enough doubts about the worth of loot in RPGs as it is - I'm not going to fucking cause another being pain for something that's worth so little to me. At least animal testing and animal farming has become less painful for the animals over the centuries.
>>44569820
I dislike them, but I'm fine with the idea of people keeping pets. And dogs do have some reasonable utility to the blind and the police force. I wouldn't advocate wanton slaughter of them, but if I had to choose between my/someone else comfort and an animals life, the choice is fucking obvious. A policeman accidentally shooting someones dog, should be treated with the same severity of them accidentally breaking someones television.
The Monk player weeps tears of joy as this seems to be an encounter set up to use his character's particular skills.
>>44566245
for punching one guy once?
>>44570047
Yeah, that's kinda how assault works.
>>44566109
I punch it very, very lightely.
Sicne the sign doesn't say anything about how hard I have to punch the dog, I can do so and still obtain the key.
Then again, I could always just have the wizard cast knock and be on my merry way.
>>44570058
that doesn't seem very likely.
>>44570058
>>44570255
Technically it's battery, though it can also be assault as long as he sees it coming.
Party argues, monk punches puppy.
Monk reminds people that part of his training involves changing the nature of his blows - the puppy was knocked back by the punch, but not injured. Essentially a forceful push.
>>44569955
Did a Dog bite you for being a retard as a little kid or something? Dogs were the very first domesticated animal. If not for Dogs, we may not even be where we are today. Virtually every major successful culture had Dogs. Unlike even cats, Dogs are programmed to work off of and understand human social cues, gestures and tones. They were essentially genetically engineered to be our perfect partners, both as workers and companions. When a little puppy is looking up at you expectantly, it just wants to receive the love and comfort its been programmed to desire from tens of thousands of years of breeding. Hitting it is a complete betrayal of the mutual contract that humans have forged with canines for millenia. Only the truly heartless and amoral person would physically attack a dog for no fault of its own.
Would a fist bump count as a punch?
>>44570398
>If not for Dogs, we may not even be where we are today.
Stopped reading here.jpg
>>44566695
Looks like we got ourselves a pasta
>>44570484
Hey, be as ignorant of human history as you like. You've already proved yourself to be a maladjusted shell of a human being anyways.
>>44568863
>>44569820
>>44569849
>>44569955
Edgy fags or narcissistic psychopaths?
You decide!
>>44570576
Answer C: Both!
>>44566109
I break the door using ANGRY PRAYER
>>44566109The trick is simply that he punches back.
>>44570484
This is a generally held anthropological viewpoint.
>The cohabitation of dogs and humans would have greatly improved the chances of survival for early human groups, and the domestication of dogs may have been one of the key forces that led to human success. - Newby, Jonica (1997). The Pact for Survival. ISBN 0-7333-0581-
>>44570398
A loose dog killed one of my friends as child, through no fault of his own. It just ran up and started biting him. It also injured me.
>>44566811
Or an insane freetard!
>>44570694
Anon don't bother, edgy 14 year-olds don't care about anthropology.
>>44566109
As soon as you open the dog this starts playing.https:/youtu.be/3pvf_OBuJVE
>>>/an/
>>44566422
>Might possibly be a criminal
>Shot dead on sight
>Kill and injury multiple people by shooting up a movie theater
>Allowed to surrender and stand trial
Yep, nothing wrong here. Just ignore the continually militarization of the police force, they can do no wrong.
>>44570919
Well that explains it. Your feelings are based off of childhood trauma and not any logical or rational thought. I'm glad we could establish that. Thanks for being honest.
>>44570975
FUCK THAT NOISE.
Having to punch a pooch is bad enough, but I can't be doin' with that.
>>44571049
>>44571049
That may be so, but the idea that something is "wrong" with someone because they don't care about the feelings of animals is also rooted in emotion.
>>44566811
>black
>for committing no crime at all
He dindu nuffin. He was gettin' his life back on track.
>>44570986
I am almost certain veterinarians make a living off pet owners who have too much money and don't put any effort into making sure their pets are not retarded.
My dog would never attack or chase any moving object without my command. The bastard stands still if a rabbit or anything runs across his path. I tell him to fetch the duck, he gets the duck.
Pet owners who have dogs stupid enough to attack porcupines (and by extension anything alive including babies) shouldn't be allowed to own pets.
>>44571089
Well, in society we have a baseline of traits and viewpoints that are typically formed therein for the benefit of said society. Because Dogs have played a major role in the advancement of virtually EVERY successful culture throughout history, its a societal viewpoint in the west that those who don't care for pets in some sense are abnormal and untrustworthy. Just the same as most of Western society feels about Sociopaths who have no regard for other human beings, or other socially maladjusted people. Those viewpoints aren't a positive in western society so they are looked upon poorly.
Hence why you're very clearly being taken as a badly adjusted human being by most of the people in this thread.
>>44566109
We do everything else, but if all fails.
Punch the puppy.
We've done worse.
>>44571113
you have an awesome dog, wooo free ducks!
>>44570919
Literally no different than a woman who gets raped by some random guy and becomes a man hating feminist who thinks men are subhuman.
>>44571426
I don't think every dog should be killed, or particularly hate them. I just don't really like them, and don't get why people get so upset about dogs coming to harm.
>>44566109
I hug it, rub it, cut it loose, let it calm down, then give it a light tap on the shoulder.
Then I write on the sign: "That's a punch, now give me the damn key, or I'll find who had this system put together and give them a not-so-light tap in the face. With what is ostensibly a hammer, but in actuality is a carved granite block with a sword sheathed in it as a grip."
>>44571492
Well it was explained to you already. Dogs were a major factor in the success of human civilization. Societal evolution favored human beings who could empathize with Dogs and other pets. This societal trait is especially strong in most Western cultures. While there are, of course, big segments of people who don't empathize with dogs, the general population sees those people as being maladjusted and disfunctional. Much like how society doesn't fully embrace sociopaths or racists as their viewpoints are not conducive to a stable, happy society.
Human beings empathize with dogs because dogs were created to be our perfect work partners and companions, and those societies that do had a better chance of surviving.
>>44570026
underrated post
hug the puppy, use my hammer as a makeshift lockpick
whoever put up that sign is now short a door and or wall
>>44571678
>dogs were created to be our perfect work partners and companions
...and food.
>>44571113
>I am almost certain veterinarians make a living off pet owners who have too much money and don't put any effort into making sure their pets are not retarded.
As well as the owners that are retarded enough that they don't let others make sure their pets aren't retarded. My mother's response to every attempt I've made at training either of our dogs that are young enough to be trained is typically met with, "They don't need to be trained, they need someone that'll watch them better."
I'd love it if the two dogs I share this house with weren't retarded. I really would. But I'm stuck with a retarded sixty year-old woman who's spoiled one so bad that, if you punish the dog for doing stupid stuff, like chasing cats for no good reason, or eating literal feces, it gets mad, starts snapping, and barking, and screeching, and generally pitching as much of a fit as it can to get my mom's attention. And then it stops being the dog's fault because, "[I'm] just being mean to the poor dog for no reason."
>>44571678
Yeah. I get that. But I seriously doubt dogs were that important to human development, they just weren't actively detrimental.
> Much like how society doesn't fully embrace sociopaths or racists as their viewpoints are not conducive to a stable, happy society.
Racism was embraced and celebrated in several cultures. Shit it still is in some cultures.
I'm not saying I like Racists and Racism, I'm just saying there were plenty of societies that got along fine with being racist, xenophobic pricks. As scary as it sounds, Racism probably doesn't have a meaningful impact on human survival.
>>44566109
I kick the puppy as that seemed amusing at the time, get into an argument about how kicking a puppy really wasn't necessary and eventually move on because I've done dumber shit.
>>44571001
>resist arrest and take actions that threaten a very nervous officers life
Get shot
>commit atrocious crime and surrender peacefully
Get arrested
Are you really this stupid?
>>44570576
Both.
>>44566109
Paladin is horrified that the rogue kicks the puppy in the face, and the barbarian probably has to hold him back from roughing the rogue up. The magus observes that a kick doesn't count as a "punch", and she begins searching for whatever mechanism is meant to deliver the key. The healy-white-witch hurriedly heals the puppy while apologizing profusely. She's quite tender-hearted sometimes.
>>44566256
This nigga knows
>>44566392
Detect evil detects everything with evil intentions
Using this kind of disguise to eat is clearly a evil intent
>>44566109
I ask Hata why the fuck he's messing around with this lame-ass money lending/debt arc and when he plans to get on with the fucking story already.
C'MON MAN! WE HAVEN'T HAD SERIOUS PLOT DEVELOPMENT IN, LIKE, A YEAR.
>>44566156
*you roll to punch*
20
shit
>>44571001
>>Might possibly be a criminal
>>Shot dead on sight
>drawing guns on a cop
>shot dead on sight
>dropped weapons and surrendered before police arrived
>arrested
It's not the cops fault niggers are fucking stupid.
>>44576531
So I deal 2d4+2 non-lethal damage. And?
>>44566313
WHY IS THIS NOT AN ACTUAL BOOK?
>>44566109
I punch the dog because the dog is not real
>>44571001
You're bitching about someone being arrested when they surrender, and blame the militarization of the police?
Nigger, what should they have done? Summary execution? That's how good cops roll they just shoot whoever they want. That's what you want, you want Judge Dredd. And in the next breath you complain about the militarization of police.
Nice. Perfect. No contradiction.
>>44576737
Yes? I don't know much about systems actually
>>44576792
Protip: a natural twenty on an attack or damage roll indicates that you've accomplished your intended goal exceptionally well. It does NOT mean you do so well that it wraps around into failure.
If your stated goal was to do non-lethal damage, than a 20 means you did the full measure of non-lethal damage. It doesn't mean you accidentally turned the target into pink mist. That would be a failure.
>>44566811
Actually, there are a lot of white kids too who also get shot by cops all the time for the same reasons.
Problem is, because it's political, only blacks deaths turn into riots.
All the other kids who get shot by cops don't have support from big politicians who want to put their face on the tragedy in order to boost their own image because it's not part of their narrative.
>>44571001
>Allowed to surrender
This is not a problem.
>>44571678
Actually, the anti-racism thing only appeared around the time of WW2 and only came to be because it was backed up by tremendous amounts of propaganda from all major world powers.
>>44576894
>>44576792
Also in D&D, if you're not trained to do so, you literally cannot do lethal damage with unarmed strikes.
>>44577642
>in D&D...
Get with the times grandpa, in 5e anyone can kill or knock out people with their fists at their option. Even wizards.
>>44570255
Go try it then.
>>44566778
I'm pretty sure this is from a recent chapter of Hayate no Gotoku. I'd find the page but my internet's only fast enough to run 4chan right now.
>>44577954
Where do you live?
Our gnome artificer is curious about the system by which we would get the key. Orders our warforged barbarian who obeys his every command to punch the dog. Iron construct + rage + charge + leaping attack + power attack + slam. Rogue asks how much dog meat sells for per pound.
>>44566109
I fuck the dog
>>44570576
>Values animals far below people
>psychopath
lol animal rights nuts actually think this...
>>44566109
pet dog with fist
>>44566109
I punch the dog. STR is my dump stat, my punch would probably hurt my hand before the dog even felt it.
>>44570277
This actually depends entirely on where you live. Some states lump assault and battery together as one charge, others have it as a sort of one or the other type of thing.
>>44570255
But, yes, if you put your hands on someone else, whether you injured them or not, and they want to press charges, they can have you arrested so they have the chance -to- press charges. The American legal system, welcome to it.
>>44566109
I hate dogs so I'm wailing on it like an Arab migrant on a female police officer.
>>44569734
Your Love Increased.
>>44566256
My nigga.
>>44566256
shit I forgot this. I feel bad for falling so easily for a potential trap
>>44566881
>and make sure you serve it well
carloooooos
>>44569820
>dogs are a waste
yes i agree
>cats are a waste
fuck you fagot say that to my face not online.
Give the dog some punch to drink. Not too much since it'll be sugary.
>punch dog
>cure light wounds
>love and care for him until he comes round
>>44580999
But dogs are awesome. Dogs deter burglars. Cats are shitlords and don't deter shit. Fuck cats.
actual story
>exploring a caver where villagers have been dissapearing around
>DM: Deep in the caverns tunnels you hear a barking sound. As you explore a dog comes into view wagging it's tail
>Me: I want to tame the dog and make it my friend
>DM: HAH HAH IT WAS A CHANGELING
>dog goes all parasite eve
>ME: I want to tame the mimic and make it my friend
>DM: what?
>Me: you heard me
>*Rolls dice* 20! BAM!
>whosa good boy, that's right. it's you. you're a good boy.
>>44581102
>Cats are shitlords and don't deter shit.
cats kill vermin
both are extremely useful
>>44566109
It's obviously a trap. I cast a fireball at the dog.
>>44568863
Dogs and horses are historically tied with human development. Cows are only tied with gastronomical development.
>>44571813
lace his food with poison
>>44581172
How about you go fuck yourself, there, yeah? I'm trying to correct the behaviors I have that are against the dogs, but directed at my mother, not make them more substantial. I only just recently weeded out my tendency to smack one of the other dogs every time I had to clean up after it, because it's blind and deaf as a direct result of my mother's inaction, and has a tendency to walk in tight, concentric circles when it shits the floor, coating them in a thick layer of fecal grime, and to roll, grating its swollen ears against the floor, leaving bloody smears all over the place.
As a side note, her reaction to those incidents with the dog's ears? Force-feed it an antihistamine so that it gets tired out faster. She is having me do something that would be illegal if it was done to a human, medical restraint, to a sixteen year old dog with a stage-4 heart murmur, because she couldn't admit to a vet that she was wrong about having a problem under control.
tl;dr: This is not the dogs' fault. This is my mother's fault. I refuse to take this out on the dogs. So, again, go fuck yourself, yeah?
>>44581212
Lace her food with poison then.
>>44581228
I have considered it, don't get me wrong, but I have no idea how to get around the actual ramifications of committing murder. I'm sure there's ways, and I've considered at least one or two of those as well, but I find that rarely, if ever, is murder any kind of answer. It's typically another huge can of worms that spirals into dozens of concurrent problems of increasing magnitude and that goes out of control rather quickly.
Right now, I'm just considering how effective it would be of psychological warfare to hold the fact that the interaction between that dog's body and the medication she's having me shove down its gullet once or twice a week will likely be what ends up killing it, or whether I should just keep ahold of that until after the dog dies.
>>44581102
>liking dogs better than cats
What are you, some kind of faggot?
>>44566422
out of 1k people shot this year over 200 were unarmed anon, in fact half of people shot were white people and 1/5th of them were unarmed
>>44581250
Get out of that house, poster. Stop making excuses. Leave.
>>44571113
my dog chaces but when the thing stops she dose not know what to do and just keeps her distance. Plus she is from a shelter so she likes to be able to see me all the time at walks, makes life easier as i know where she is at all times thanks to that
>>44576531
You are incapable of specifying that you are just lightly punching?
Or is your DM one of those DMs who'll use a 20 as an opportunity to describe how you shatter their skull and splattered doggie brains everywhere like you were fisting the northern star.
>>44566109
Determine if key can be obtained without punching puppy.
If so, obtain key
If not, punch puppy as gently as possible to obtain key.
>>44566156
Dogs intinctively act like they're not in pain, so they don't get driven out of a pack for being weak.
They feel pain, they just don't show it.
>>44566109
The sign didn't say how hard the punch should be.
Just give the dog a little love tap
Rolled 3 (1d20)
>>44566778
I tame the giant wolf demon.
>>44584528
Never mind, I become food
>>44578343
This is why us otherkin are much better beings than normal humans! Humans are the scum of the earth and deserve to be purged so we can thrive! Hail earth!
I use quivering palm
roll for dog's fort save vs DC 22
>>44566422
Lel, nice b8. 6/10 tbhh famm
>>44566695
Wow, it really wasn't bait. You're just a genuine retard.. well shit.
>>44571113
Can confirm, I work at a veterinary hospital. Most clients there have NO common sense at all.
>>44566247
Reminds me of the albino drake I got in Pillars of Eternity...I love that little guy.
>>44584579
I'm going to laugh at you while wearing my leather boots and munching on my Bambi jerky.
our fighter punches the puppy, our bard looks at our fighter with disgust, the fighter punches the bard...
