>Be elf master race.
>Get turned down by filthy human.
B-but I thought humans were easy...
Every village has an ugly Elf.
I guess that Elf is you.
>>44400031
Actually it's physically impossible for any elf to be ugly; one of the many reasons why half-elves are so outcast in elven communities.
>>44400041
>Actually it's physically impossible for any elf to be ugly
I have 3 GB of images on my hard-drive that prove you wrong.
>>44400054
What are you even playing traditional games for? Do you just deliberately collect fanfiction bullshit that goes against the clear tenets of fantasy? What a fucking dickhead you must be.
>>44400081
>What are you even playing traditional games for? Do you just deliberately collect fanfiction bullshit that goes against the clear tenets of fantasy?
Anon, the artwork in question shows Elves with varying amounts of chest flesh, which are disgusting useless pounds of fat that detract from the purity of a tight Elven body.
>>44400014
Did you say anything about humans being easy around them? It may be that you came off as a racist Elven supremacist.
>>44400127
Into Elven men I see.
>Just got home from a hard day's work in the countryside keeping goblins away from the city walls
>Chilling in the tavern listening to the bard play some sick tunes and relaxing with an ale.
>The town Elf slut stumbles over to my table acting all coy and shit, obviously she craves the dick but I'm having none of it because seriously, she's been in this town so long I'm pretty sure she fucked my grandfather.
>I brush her off and she gets mad and throws a fit about how the "elder races" don't need to tolerate this and she's descended from whatever.
>I go home andplow my halfling girlfriend.
>>44400201
There's no such thing as Elven men, only Elven boys
>>44400178
Was probable To Tsun.
*insert sitcom laughing here*
>>44400014
It's because you don't have the child bearing hips, sweetie.
Little known fact:
Elves do not actually recieve nutrition from food. They ingest it simply for the experience. In reality, they are powered entirely by semen.
>>44400246
>What is Warhammer Fantasy.
>>44400014
>be lone tiefling in town
>get turned down by near damned everyone
>anyone cool with me assumes I'm into kinky shit
>I'm fucking vanilla as you get
>no I don't want to try s&m you crazy demon fetishists
>every damned time
Wish there were more tailed races though. Human butts just look like they're missing something to me.
>>44400246
Excuse me, sir, I believe I've found a hole in your argument.
>>44400301
So you're a half elf huh
>>44400246
>>44400303
Tieflings come with built-in handlebars at both ends. What's not to like?
>>44400246
What is Elvaan?
>>44400302
ded
>>44400246
>>44400379
The Aelfs yet live, having been referenced as fighting beside the Stormcast.
>>44400346
I guess most people get weirder out by my outsider heritage and general aura of unease.
Fucking wish we could turn that off.
At least my bloodline doesn't make me smell like brimstone like some do. That much I've got going for me.
>>44400419
Look, the important question is how weird are we talking here?
Because the ones that look like normal, red-colored people with horns, yeah I'd fuck that. Especially the ones with the nice hips.
But if we're talking weird mutations and demon parts, you gotta take that shit into the mountains and hide forever.
>>44400014
>being a proud noble elf
>rutting with vermin like humans
you're a disgrace to your species. Do you want to hasten our slow war of attrition to those savages? Every elf that finds themselves in the arms of a human is just thinning our noble blood further.
>>44400455Implying you don't dream of superior human cock
>>44400455
ANTI-RACISM IS CODE FOR ANTI-ELF
>>44400454
Nothing that weird. Humans are pious, at least in this town and I'm obviously demon blooded. So i just get the people who want to do taboo shit with the guy who MUST be into that, right? Except no?
Vague warmth, horns, prehensile tail and a couple other minor changes. Nothing huge.
You think it's just my hometown, not me?
>>44400455
Oh like every race hasn't fucked a human before. I mean look at me! Look at how common half elves are. And I'm pretty sure centaurs too.
It's not really anything to be ashamed at or surprised by any more. One day I'll see a half human half... Beholder or whatever and I won't even be surprised.
>>44400582
Hey, your mom's a Succubus, right? Can I get her number?
>>44400455
>'Pureblood' shitters
Where will you be when hybrid vitality makes you obsolete?
Oh, yeah, still playing the same game of chess you started two centuries ago.
When Half elves breed with other Half Elves, do you get more half elves, or do you sometimes get humans, sometimes get fullblooded elves and sometimes get half elves?
>>44400779
Hybrid vigor isn't even real, retard. All you're doing is consigning that kid to a life of not fitting in.
>>44400303
How kinky will you get? Will youhold hands?
>>44400796
Yes.
>>44400607
Well if all you're looking for is an easy lay with a hideous abomination against nature I can give your mother a call and see how she feels about incestual threesomes.
>>44400807
I-I have limits! Don't be s-so ridiculous.Nobody ever wants to just hold hands..
>>44400582
Wouldn't a half human half beholder just be a cyclops?
>>44400779
"Hybrid Vitality"?
Pureblood elf = lives forever
Halfblood elf = just lives for a really long time
How is that anything but a step down?
>>44400014
Every human you meet knows the moment you start flirting that you just want a taste of that HHC.
You've given the human all the power in the relationship. This is why you have to play haughty and hard to get at first.
>>44400928
>Pureblood elf lives forever
Sure.
And you can walk on thin air, too.
>>44400902
Would anyone be surprised if that turned out to be true?
>>44400928
At least a halfblood elf can get it up more than once a lunar cycle, Tristhwaine.
>>44400303
>Wish there were more tailed races though
What kind of tails are you looking for, fluffy or smooth?
>>44400884I do.
>>44401085
>unnatural demonic heat intensifies
It's all good. Thicker bases often mean thicker hips. Just putting that out there.
>>44401116L-lewd...
>>44401085
Is that a Huldra?
What's the best race for a one night stand?
>>44401267
Gnome. They basically exist for it.
>>44400014
But that pic is a demon, not an elf.
>>44401267
Orcs. They'll either not care, want it just for a night themselves, or claim you as their personal sex slave if they like you enough.
>>44401287
Hiw can you fit stuff in a gnome?
How do they hold books and lamps on them?
>>44401335
They can turn to stone at will, makes for holding stuff easy.
And probably with a board.
>>44400582
DISGUSTING! To think any of the noble race of Beholder would RUT! with those Binocular sapiens DISGUSTS ME! We noble Beholders asexually VOMIT our young just as the far gods intended! I for one vomit the most beautiful children for I am the MOST SPLENDID BEHOLDER!!!!!
*Incoherent gibbering
>>44401389
But you do have sex woth another beholder, you do know that, right?
>>44401162
Yeah, good art of them is surprisingly hard to find.
>>44401287
>>44401404
ASEXUAL VOMIT!
>>44401452
Just keep telling yourself that, friendo.
>>44401389
One thing I've often wondered, you're mostly mouth and eyes. Where do you digest stuff?
>>44401085
>tfw no Huldra waifu
>tfw no wife to threaten me with gory dismemberment if I treat her like shit
>tfw no red-hot horseshoes laying around for her to grab and bend as demonstration
>>44401525
Here is some reference some other monkeys compiled, it is amusing how small mammal brains are.
>>44401564
http://archive.4plebs.org/tg/thread/31399814
Sorry looking at more interesting things i have eyes on six different threads.
>>44401525
It is described in Lords of Madness. Beholders have a digestive system in their mouth. They bite something, chew it, and keep their mouths shut while they digest it. Then it is absorbed through the walls of the mouth into the bloodstream, and the waste they vomit out.
It also says that beholders reproduce asexually, with new beholder spawn growing under the rongue and eventually getting spat out and abandoned.
In other words, that's not just a mouth. It is an all-purpose orifice, for intake, waste disposal, AND reproduction.
>>44401592
>>44401592
Face cloaca. Fascinating.
>>44400319
heheheh...hole
>>44400014
Elves are shit.
>>44400041
Thats fucking stupid and youre fucking stupid for going along with it
Why don't you love me guys. I'm an elf AND a fucking wizard. Tell me I'm beautiful damnit! Why aren't you tying me down and making me your half-elf breeding sow?
>tfw no brutish human bf
>>44401592
that's kinda hot
>>44400014
Silly elf ! You can't seduce the paladin ! He is already in love with the party cleric.
>>44400014
Is pic the /tg/ version of neanderthal sponge bob?
>>44400796
You get quarterelves.
![sample_9881a75d01abf1c7398086c35d763b2c[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/8FrNaPM.jpg "sample_9881a75d01abf1c7398086c35d763b2c[1].jpg")
>>44400014
Silly little girl, you don't ask human men for their affection. You take it.
>>44400014
>>44402839
>>44404474
'haps if your 'eads was not stuck so far up ye bottocks you'd see that some people like different things.
>>44400236
Your grandfather was a whore
>>44400582
Aww poor tiefanon
You could try a trip to sigil you might be able to find somebody there.
Eh relations with humans never change.
Some 5 centuries ago i was traveling with a party full of human women.
After we got involved in too much court intrigue we just sad fuck it, bought a property in the hills near a gold dragon lair and had our fu. After a few years i left back home to marry my childhood sweetheart after her father finaly agreed to our marrige.
On the night i left we all had a huge party and got wasted so nobody knew who did who.
After that i spent a century back home raising my son and enjoying my self with my wife i decided to make another visit to that township we bought.
What we found is a whole city filled with half-elves.
The mayor was a middle aged half elf and as i found the grandson of the party paladin-chick.
It got quite wierd being called ancestor by a whole citty.
Now i know why us elves only have 2 children per century.
Also my wife almost dumped me after that.
Had to call u my buddy Torinfnir in his lair to get some bling from his hoard in exchange for a job.
Not everybody is easy, and if you are going for wizards, they tend to be too busy doing studies and experiments that they old have to set aside time for you, especially if they are going to college, holy shit, the books are expensive.
>>44404491
FUCK OFF ISELMYR LEAVE MY HUSBANDO ALONE
>>44400014
its your arrogant personality
>>44405134
Stop yer yappin' or I'll slap ye, whore!
>>44400928
Half-elves are better adapted to many environments, as they possess greater physical strength and durability.
From an evolutionary standpoint, immortality is of questionable value, since it results in a much less mutable species. The offspring of a thousand-year-old elf advance the evolution of elvenkind no more than did that elf's nine-hundred-year-old children. The elven gene pool is ringed with ice.
>>44405544
immortality is something the person craves not the race in itself
>just barely discovering taste for high fantasy
>always just sort of ignored it my entire life
h-how do i learn more like you guys? i want to roleplay too!
>>44406302
read lotr and pretend everything that differs from tolkien's lore is not canon
>>44400796
In D&D 3.5e, you get half-elves, even if they are descended from a human and half elf pairing.
If it interests anyone I have some shitty elf research i've been doing to get to the core of what an elf is.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1qBQsGuf4RxmBObkOcFWre5gpEpQinI9clWtZQSZI5Jo/edit?usp=sharing
>>44404528
>going to insane mcfuckingdangerous town
>just for a lay
Yeah, no. It'd be safer to just pay a whore with the clap.
Maybe I'll go to the capitol. Gotta be people more used to... Odd parentage there. Other tieflings. Less bloody religion.
>Be catgirl lazy race
>They open a can of tuna
I love humans
>>44406562
As a paladin, I recommend heading south. The local religions there place less emphasis on physical purity - they had little contact with your ancestors for good or ill down there.
>>44406622
Isn't it annoying, though?
>always getting patted and getting your ears rubbed
>feeling up your bum while pretending to admire your tail
>stopping pets the moment you feel happy enough to start purring because then they want to nuzzle your belly
>>44406696
I don't see the problem here
>>44406696
Don't like it, then scratch them or be passive aggressive and break their stuff while "exploring"
>>44406708
Random strangers?
>>44406791
I'd rather they just tell me to ask permission. And besides, what if you don't know them and can't break their stuff?
>>44406876
Scratch them? Use them as furniture? Walk away? All reasonable responses, you're a catgirl after all.
around cats, watch your lats
>>44407037
>tow you will never be in a cat girl cuddlepile
Getting my wallet nicked would be worth it.
>>44400236
good taste, anon
>>44406916
And why would I need a catgirl in my house?
>>44407408
For "cuddling".
>>44407408
Companionship and pest control?
>>44407448
But do those cat-girls have a good ass?
>>44407487
It's muscular from skulking around and the tail lifts it to perfection.
You do the math.
>>44406302
>open catalogue
>ctrl+f "Quest"
>>44402839
>That alien face
Why some games describe elves as attractive as fuck and then the pictures are fucking ugly pieces of shit that belong to nightmares? It makes no sense
>>44407505
Thanks man, I'll buy one at my local slave market, and see for myself what the fuss is about.
>>44407408
Healthcare?
>>44405415
GET OUT HERE AND FIGHT ME BITCH
>>44407408
Employ her as a maid.
>>44407505
>>44407715
I just bought one, got her to my house and unpacked her. Now she keeps yelling at me, crying something about catfolk rights and other nonsense. How do I make her stop? It's really fucking annoying.
>le ebin stale shitty memes
Bravo OP
>>44407570
>>44407776
>implying the Chairman would enslave any...ass!
Get the fuck out, imposter.
>>44407570
>Slave market purchases
>Implying half starved and jailed examples of the species are comparable to the real thing
Go consensual or go home.
>>44407795
>implying
>>44407807
And were do I get some normal ones?
>>44407635
I'll break ya' fingers, ya bloody wench!
>>44407835
He set free even his pictures of asses, son.
>>44407896
Only because of his daughter.
>>44407862
Ask the slave sellers. They got them from somewhere.
>>44407776
[Cruel]Give her a few lashes. If that doesn't work, call me and for a few copper I'll help you.
>>44407913
And because he believed in the freedom of the ass, as evidenced in his speech about ass men being good people
>>44407943
Hey girl, I think you got the wrong door, the edge club is two blocks down.
>>44407969
I've read it a year ago, but thanks for reminding me of the ways of the ass.
>>44407408
>implying you have a choice
You'll find catgirls often do whatever they please and don't take kindly to leashes.
>>44400455
That's not how it works.
Due to the extreme longevity of elves they are out fucking humanity.
A human has half breed children with an elf. Eventually the human naturally dies having had no pure human children.
The elf continues and finds a pure elf to settle down with.
There is no dip in the pure eleven population. Humans get progressively more and more eleven blood with each generation.
Take this and the fact that tieflings always breed true amongst humans and humanity is going to eventually fuck itself Into extinction.
>people roleplaying on a Burmese Shitposting Board about having sex slave waifus to cope with the fact that they haven't talked to a girl in years
How pathetic
>>44408003
I like how you used that word. "edge"
You're contributing in making the word more of a buzzword each day.
>>44408027
>that ass
>>44408027
True, they make shitty servants.
They are not useful in the least... sometimes I think it would be in everyone's best interest to just wipe them all out.
>>44408027
Which is where the catnip&aconite brandy comes in handy.
Or just a garlic heavy diet in general if you worry about disposal.
>>44400014
I wholeheartedly approve of elf/human interbreeding. Perhaps it will improve the elven race by introducing them to benevolence, empathy, and common fucking decency.
Seriously, maybe we could work together better if elves did not have their pointy helmets shoved so far up their own assholes that it forms a perfect mold of their arrogant, elitist craniums.
>>44401389
I prefer this one
>>44408150
There are some elves who are rather humble my Lord.
>>44408150
>humanity
>the Emperor, no less
>empathy, decency, kindness
Top fucking kek
>>44408173
Examples, kitten?
>>44408173
I have yet to fucking meet them.
Besides, just because one member of a species acts nice, does not automatically mean that the rest of them are pleasant. While it is true that we should not judge people by their race, it does not mean that we should ignore the elves dickishness because there is one elf that is actually half fucking decent.
Actually, screw it, who is this decent and humble elf?
>Gilgamesh replied to mighty Ishtar thus:
>'But what advantage would it be to me to take you in marriage?
>In the cold season you would surely fail me, like a pan full of burning coals which go out
>You are but a back door which does not stay shut but flies open in the raging wind.
>You are the great palace which collapses on its honoured guests
>The head-dress that unravels,
>The pitch that blackesn the hands of the bearer,
>The water-skin that rubs the back raw as it is carried,
>The limestone which undermines the rampart
>A siege engine thrown up against the walls of the enemy,
>The shoe that pinches the foot of its owner
>What lover did you love for ever?
>Which of your shepherds is there who has satisfied you for long?
>Come, I will tell you the tales of your lovers:
>For Tammuz, your young husband,
>For him we wail year after year!
>He who dies each autumn and comes back each spring!
>The spotted shepherd-bird you loved,
>That bird which rolls and tumbles in its flight,
>And you struck him, broke his wing.
>And now he stands in the groves and calls:
>"Kappi!" - that bird's hoarse cry, which is to say,"My wing!"
>Then you loved the lion, perfect in its strength,
>But you dug for him seven pits and again seven.
>Then you loved the stallion, great in battle, but you made for him the whip and thong and the spur.
>And you decreed that he run seven-double hours, and that it is for him to make muddy and then to drink.
>For his mother, Silili, you decreed lamentation!
>You also loved the shepherd with his herd,
>He piled ash cakes high for you without cease, and on this burning charcoal daily offered you his young and succulent kids
>But you struck him and turned him into a wolf
>So that now his own herd boys drive him off and his own dogs bite at his thighs...
>...and if you loved me,
>You would treat me the same as them.'
We've known not to stick our dick in crazy for a long, long time
>>44408216
>>44408233
He's part of the gentry, yet he is humble and considers words and actions carefully.
There's only the part where his past life has surfaced and he can speak a little... strangely.
Nevertheless, he's not arrogant and gets along nicely in a group of miscellaneous races.
>>44408207
Get the fuck out, humanity is best.
I mean, look at me. I'm the best damn human, and you know that you can all be like me. Glorious golden god... like beings.
>>44408242
Man Gilagmesh knew how to call people on their shit.
>>44408242
Based Gilgamesh resisting the Siren Succubi Cunts before it was cool
>>44408216
Then there's the latest Watcher.
He supposedly can see souls and even look into people's past lives. An odd fellow at times, but rather pleasant in a conversation: it's said that he helped out humans a lot when their children were being born without a soul.
>>44408242
Despite being a horny asshole Gilgamesh knew to stay away from whores and psychos
>>44408278
>>44408407
First off, Finding information on these guys is as hard as my glorious golden abs. When I had them.
Second, Aloth does not strike me as being that humble. A mad elf with split personality disorder. The proper personality, being a well spoken erudite member of nobility, and the other, a violent redheaded type of woman with a thick Glasgow accent. While entertaining, it is worth noting that he was part of an evil society for quite some time.
And third, that second guy doesn't count, because he is really an avatar of some pimply human sitting at a computer screen giving orders to his digital body.
It's like saying a six year old child is a space marine because he's wearing a box on his head with a crude drawing of a mk7 Aquila helmet on it.
It is stupid, dangerous, stupidly dangerous, and dangerously stupid. By that internal logic, we should send that six year old child onto the front lines, because he is really a six hundred year old post-human badass.
Which is just irresponsible.
I greatly dislike this notion that all elves are "master race" or whatever.
I'll just make a setting where they aren't dicks and rather short lived instead.
>>44408614
Nothing wrong with living long. Just don't make them dicks.
>>44408614
WHAT AN EPIC SUBVERSION YOU CLEVER LITTLE BOY
>>44408614
Why not turn them into the Orient analogue?
They're rich, exotic, extremely cultured, and although you might see one here and there in Ye Olde Not!England, the vast majority of them live and fuck and breed back in the homelands.
>>44408614
Balkanized elves living for about 200 years mostly due to wars since otherwise they'd be dying of old age at age 500.
>>44408531
Your faggy little roleplay is both pathetic and unoriginal. Next time just do it in a quest or with a name so I can filter your cringey ass
>>44408700
>Balkanized elves
WHAT AN ORIGINAL TWEEST MY ADORABLE LITTLE STUDMUFFIN
>>44408242
Yeah, but Ishtar would do all that shit anyway. She was a god, not some fucking Elf, she did whatever she wanted, refusing them is a good way to make them really angry.
>>44408723
>>44408648
Completely agree. Impotently subverting something because you either dislike it, or you (even worse) you think you're being creative are the worst.
>>44400041
all elves are disgusting
>>44408827
Pff, right, what's she going to do, threaten to cause a zombie apocalypse to force the gods to unleash the Celestial Bull on Uruk?
If we're fantasy waifuing then catgirls and elf sluts get btfo by superior kitsune womerns
>>44406562
If you can get yourself over to Golarion (it's pathfinder, sorry) my friends and I are setting up a Tiefling homeland there south of Brevoy.
>>44409012
Overplayed, old and busted.
No thx
>>44408700
>Balkanized Elves
>>44400246
Please tell me he's plowing an elfshota, no girl is that cute.
>>44409277
HAHAHA, THAT'S NEVER BEEN POSTED BEFORE
YOU'RE SUCH A CUTIE, DEAR
Reminder that Tolkien Elves love and are fascinated by humans.
They just think human politics are stupid and are disappointed by some of their weaker leaders.
>>44408283
you're a skeleton full of wires and tubes solely kept alive by a thousand sacrificed human psykers on a daily basis.
>>44409373
>caps lock
>>44409667
Oitism :3
>>44409667
>Pleb posting
Waht a cutie
>>44400014
>elf
>masterace
>>44409667
That's all shift key, motherfucker.
>>44400937
It depends on the setting
>>44410192
Depends on the human and elf. And the game. And the players. And the GM. And the dice rolls.
>Not wanting to be genetically superior.
>Not getting more time to study magic and follow your interests.
>Not being beautiful, tall, fair, and jewel eyed.
>Not having superior vision, even being able to see in the dark.
>Not having an egalitarian utopia
>Not Meditating for a little instead of sleeping.
>Not living for as long as you want.
>Shaving. Ever.
>Not maintaining Pure High Elf genes.
>Whilst sireing millions of Half Elves in hopes of improving Humans and Halflings because you have a soft spot for them.
>And because they love the BEC.
At least you guys have +1 CON. We can watch you sports that we can't win with DEX or STR.
>>44412295
>Not getting more time to study magic and follow your interests.
fuck off Sauron nobody wants your faggy rings
>>44412295
Doesn't mixing with the nonelven races put your pure genes at risk?
If you keep mixing with humans, they'll eventually be so similar to elves that you won't notice when you mix with them when trying to make pure elves.
>>44408104
I don't know what you're talking about, I've found them to be super useful.
>>44400582
>So i just get the people who want to do taboo shit with the guy who MUST be into that, right?
>male tiefling
Dropped. Let me know if you've got a sister, though.
>>44415895
Half elves look like Humans to elves. Beards, thick bodies, shorter ears, etc.
Essentially, if they're half, then they won't marry a full since they wouldn't be within elven society. Even then, if they're so Elven that it doesn't matter, then it wouldn't make a difference since Elf is phenotypically dominant and at that point they would be pure enough to qualify.
This might even be viewed as ideal since then it brings human kind into the heights of elven kind without ruining elves.
>>44415460
Except you know you want some sweet, enchanted swag. What boring human loot would you want that an elf craftsman wouldn't make better after a few lifetimes of training.
>>44402839
>>44407545
Two dimensional images do that.
>>44417093
Dunno, I guess the fact that the human made an entire workshop of enchanted rings 70-80% as good at a fraction of the cost while the elven master made a single dozen or so made me use human enchanted gear.
>>44417515
>Being a poorfag.
Son, it's not my fault you don't adventure hard.
>>44406302
Autism son.
>>44418248
I'm a fucking cook. I have boots that resist cold to keep my feet warm and eversharp knives. I just saved up and bought a ring that let's me speed up momentarily to help me save time in the kitchen.
What made you think I go into disease filled tombs to do some grave robbing and beastslaying?
>>44400301
thats not a little known fact, thats common knowledge
>All this pro-elf propaganda.
Go dwarf or go home.
>>44419276
Why. Overcompensating fat manlets with alcoholic tendencies don't suit me.
>>44400014
>An elf looking to engage in bestiality
Disgusting. Have you no shame?
>>44400014
Did you not show enough skin? Humans are easily incited to lust by showing skin and glorious elf curves. So, unless you're some flat bottomed waif of a scholar, you shouldn't have any problems.
>>44419276
that's rich coming from you beardy, considering you isolationist bastards barely leave yours.
