Hear ye, hear ye. I hereby call to order this meeting of the most illustrious Mages' Guild! It seems that that special time that comes once a year where we can get drunk and take as many suggestive chemicals as possible. The gift giving begins now, and whoever is the one who gave the apprentices snake hands as a present, please only give it to those who actually need the punishment. And please report those who have been egging my room in such a order that the yolk spells out the holiday we are celebrating now. They will be put in my, uh, personal collection. The feasts shall begin next, and all guilds from around the continent are invited! Please do have a good time, I shall relieve myself in my personal quarters.Welcome to the Mages' Guild. Pick a name and join in! Conflicts are resolved with d20s when needed, or with playing it out. When the thread dies on /tg/, we keep it going on archive.4plebs For additional resources, please visit http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Mage%27s_guild
Eh? All guilds coming..here?!
We invited all the guilds?
Well, I've heard worse plans.
>>44378754
>Emilia enters wearing a far more regal outfit than normal
Phew, after a rambunctious year, a break is something we really need.
>>44378754
Someone pass me the bowl of edible failed experiments!
>>44378823
Um..sir? Should I hide?
>>44378849
This isn't exactly the smoothest break..
>>44378852
You eat that!?
>>44378874
I've had much rougher days. we've gone 2 minutes without a silverfish infestation.
>>44378852
Quin! You ate my alchemy bag!
>>44378874
Hmm...
It depends on who from what guilds actually show up.
But yes, that would probably be the most sensible option.
>>44378754
>>44378815
>Explodes through the wall
THHHHHHAT'S RIGHT, BROTHER! THE FIGHTERS ARE HERE FROM SOME WICKED WIZARDMAS!
>>44378905
>>44378900
Erm. The other guilds are eating with the redshirts, right?
>>44378874
Hey, one of these is a worm that tastes like apples! I think it was supposed to be some kind of man eating swarm creature.
>>44378874
Well maybe next time you won't leave it on the table, I thought those leaves were for everyone.
>>44378905
Good to see you could make it! Rumours has it some of planar mages are going to open a portal to a plane of bacon later.
>>44378934
Probably not.
We're most likely doomed.
>>44378905
Do you have any idea how long it will take to fix that wall?
The Geomancers won't be here for, like 5, minutes! It'll get drafty!
>>44378951
Oh come on, we don't even have a dedicated doormancy department!
>>44378940
I was adjusting my crown! Like 90% of that is toxic!
>>44378951
Oh, here's a good appetizer for me.
>Emilia grabs it and tries to eat it
>>44378959
Time to call the Dwarves' Union.
>Walks in
Okay, so, the piano is being set up for use, right?
>>44378934
And geez, running off at the first sign of food? Is that why you ran off last time?
>He takes a seat right next to you
>>44378983
well maybe I heard a deal too good to refuse. You don't to go into the 4th dimension everyday.
>>44378934
Ain't no shirts here, sisterrr!
>>44378940
QUIN! WHAT'S GOIN' DOWN BUNNYCAT!
IF THOSE MAGES WON'T, THEN THIS WRASSLER WILL!
>>44378951
RIGHT ON BROTHER!
>Pumping Iron handshake
>>44378959
WORRY NOT LIL DUDE, ROARK RAX COMMANDS STONE WITH HIS IRON WILL.
>Flexes his biceps and the wall reforms
>>44378969
The dwarves don't talk to nobody sister.
>teleports in
Hello, merry wizardmas. I come bearing gifts!
>wearing a red and white fuzzy outfit
>>44379016
IRONARM! WHAT'S SHAKIN SISTER!
>>44379003
I bet I could if I wanted.
>He smirks and leans over, kissing your forehead
And if you're still concerned, I will be giving you the other gifts I promised.
>>44379015
Yo, wassup?
>>44379016
Trostia! You going to jumpstart the gift giving?
Also, you look wiser.
>>44379015
I...
What.
I don't....
You know what? No. I'm not dealing with this.
>>44379016
Hello! Did you bring something to get me knockout drunk?
>>44378934
Not exclusively.
>>44378959
Don't worry if it gets cold then I'm sure the pyromancers can do something about it. Most of them are already here.
>>44378969
>shrugs
Seemed fine to me, I can eat pretty much everything in this form.
>>44379015
Oh you know, causing trouble and getting away with it. Here, have a seat at the main table!
>>44379016
Hey, Trostia, good to see you could make it!
>>44379028
Horrible mind eating magic disease. But let's think joyful thoughts! Its wizardmas >>44379033
Someone has to.
>>44379035
I could just knock you out and blame alcohol. >>44379042
Greetings cat friend. I dont seem to recall you.
>>44379015
>Emilia has taken one point of physic damage
I...what?
>>44379033
And I would've gotten a cosmic wish...blast that 'Destructor'
>>44379042
>groans
You're a pit!
>>44379042
>>44379062
This can only end horribly.
>>44379062
You don't remember me? I'm wounded. Didn't we fight in the Valmian War together? And didn't I help you set up your department back in the day?
>>44379066
Yup, that's me.
>eats an empty bowl as if to prove Emilia's point
>>44379073
Which is why it has to be done!
>>44378754
Holiday coffee anyone?
>>44379098
Thank you, Mort.
>>44379097
Quin, please. Not everything needs to be an experiment in chaos and destruction.
>>44379062
Wonderful! Hm, well then. I had gotten you a book detailing secret alloy creation techniques from another world, but you look like you already know them.
>>44379066
Cosmic wish? Well, sadly Lurco isn't here. But... first gift.
>He reaches down and pulls a cake from a portal that was on a wall or on the floor
>He places it in front of you
>It says "Welcome Back" & "Love You" on it
Feel free to share it with friends.
>>44379098
Two cups over here if you will!
>>44379111
>>44379112
Here you go
>Passes them mugs,
>>44379097
I dont know a lot of things going on here. I've been away for quite a while. Longer than I was supposed to.
>>44379128
Thank you.
I'll need this before the meeting is over.
>>44379132
Did you hear about my department conquering a country?
>>44379098
Does it still melt people?
>>44379112
Yes, I think it would've been bigger than Lu-
>looks at cake
>>44379132
Do you want a slice? I think you need it.
>>44378900
>hides behind veilhex
>>44378891
Silverfish?
>>44378905
AAH!
>>44378940
..Gross..
>>44379098
I'll have a cup!
>>44379111
Of course it does, how do you think I ended up as the cute little critter I am today?
>>44379132
No kidding, we had at least one major war and two departments collapsing while you were gone. Probably.
>extends a paw
But to refresh your memory, Quin Bradley, Head of the Magical Girls Department.
>>44379149
You know what's gross? Wasting good food.
>>44379112
My known of ferromancy has... Declined.
>>44379142
I dont even know who you are.
>>44379145
Cake would be nice.
>>44379145
That only happened because some one sabotaged my coffee
>>44379167
Of course Quin
>Gives the catbunny a saucer
>>44379149
Don't worry. I'm sure nobody will kill you.
>>44379167
Well I don't want to end up as a cat... thing.
>>44379171
Veilhex Doomblight, a teacher of necromancy. My most notable achievement is covering for Lazarus while he was dead.
>>44379033
I don't recognize you, brother, but somethin' about you seems awfully familiar...
>>44379042
Right on Quin! You gonna get back in the ring at some point, sister?
>Pulls out his chair
>>44379066
Dwarves are more isolated than a sunken deckball. Don't come out of the Hollow unless its to settle a grudge. And let me tell you somethin' sister, those beardy bastards can tussle somethin' fierce!
>>44379062
That's a hard lot sister. Dramorn and Rage Mage comin'? Those fellas know how to brawl!
>>44379167
Ever heard of Kixictuuhlopt
>>44379128
Thank you Mortimer.
>>44379171
Oh, I'm sorry. It must have been rough.
>He pulls out a book from under the table
Well, here's my gift to you, nonetheless.
>He gets up and walks it over to you
>>44379145
Also, have the coffee. It's delicious.
>>44379149
Yeah, it's chaos. But sometimes you jut have to make your way through it and hope you don't get caught up.
...At least, that's how it worked for me. Holding up okay?
>>44379198
Might be. Hm, did you know a Kuo-Toa?
>>44379171
Then cut a slice, there is literally no one in this room more qualified than you able to cut a cake.
>>44379177
Sabotaged coffee should not melt people, that margin of error is pretty damn slim! >>44379142
I think even my country had more defense than that one!
>>44379198
But our contracted union...whatever. bring in the Koblolds.
>>44379167
Major war?
>>44379215
Hey Diana!
>>44379195
Youre a glorified substitute teacher?
This looks like a good time to try out these skyberries...
>Emilia walks off
>>44379260
No. I'm the one teacher in the department who students consider worth taking the classes of.
I took over the entire department from Lazarus.
>>44379177
Thank you Mortimer!
>>44379195
Your loss, this has worked out great for me.
>>44379198
I'll get back in the ring the moment I find someone in my weight class. Sadly it's been pretty hard to do so these days. I mean, just try lifting me, I weigh next to nothing.
>>44379206
Doesn't ring a bell, but I don't have the best of memories so.
>shrugs
>>44379215
Diana, you made it! Here, have a set at the main table.
>>44379246
I was mostly generalizing, but the necromancers did go to war a few weeks ago. Oh, right, you just got back, hadn't heard of the Necromancy Department's invasion of the Empire of Tenebrus yet?
>>44379246
>instead of some fancy ferromancy technique, she just grabs the knife and cuts about 1/4 the cake into one slice
Nice.. My favorite
>>44379246
I'd bet it did.
Thralls do not make very good footsoldiers without the advantage of numbers.
>>44379283
Well I don't work primarily with magical girls.
>>44379267
I'll give you the rest of your gifts later!
>>44379286
>He purses his lips and looks concerned
>>44379167
T-That isn't good!
>>44379195
>hiding intensifies
>>44379215
....Euggh..
>>44379283
An entire reality fabricated by an... Entity? Demon? Something or other. A powerful being, fragmented from the God Kultuhu. You seem to be someone in charge, so I need to talk to you later about it. In private.
>>44379246
>>44379283
Hello.
>>44379326
That bad, huh? Here, take some deep breaths, just try to calm yourself down, okay?
>>44379325
You want some cake?
>>44379326
...
>Glances around
>Pats her on the head
Don't worry, nobody will kill you.
>>44379353
No, I'm fine. Is it good?
>Lurco walks in, sorta dressed up
>His clothes are formal but it's not a suit or anything
>>44379304
>pic
Oh, that could easily be fixed.
>>44379326
Have you tried it? This lizard-thing tastes like strawberries.
>>44379339
Sure, my office is open. Or, at least it will be once this feast is over.
>>44379352
So, the feast has just begun, but what do you think?
>>44379364
>nods, mouthful of cake
Mmohfmm
>>44379400
Glad to hear it.
Hm, oh, you probably don't remember me either, do you?
>>44379392
Quin, don't plan things like that. You don't want to give the people I work with access to magical girl powers.
>>44379392
I have some matters to attend to after this, but I will be by soon enough.
>>44379422
A little. Didnt you used to be a fish? That's all I remember.
>>44379392
>"Ah, there's that seemingly-important outsider. She should know where I should sit."
>Lurco walks over
Hey, uh, Quin was it? Um, do you know where I should sit?
>>44379435
Spoilsport. So, what are you up to these days, business as usual or have Lazarus made you guys high dukes of his new empire or something?
>>44379436
Got it, I'll keep an eye open for you then.
>>44379452
I was a Kuo-Toa, which isn't too far off.
The name's Gluglobul. I'm the head of a newer department called Oozemancy.
>>44379477
I think you still have a seat somewhere at the main table. Should be a nameplate somewhere, just look around near the top of the table. Or just take Heram's seat over there, I heard he couldn't make it.
>>44379478link to collab collab?
>>44379478
Business as usual.
Lazarus handed the empire over to his wife, actually. He certainly wasn't going to run the thing.
>>44379521
Huh?
>He looks at the table and points to it
This table?
>He says looking back to you
>>44379523Enjoy: http://collabedit.com/6fvae
>>44379531
That's quite the present, most people stick to giving their wives jewellery.
>>44379549
Lazarus is not most people..
>>44379548
>the nametags are rebelling!
>nods
This table, the big one with all the old and/or important people.
>>44379548
>4chan is so much harder to post on...
>TABS ARE USELESS!
>>44379578
Ah! Old people too... That makes much more sense.
So, I even get a little nameplate?
>>44379577
>nods
Of course not, he is the top grump after all.
>looks around
I'm surprised he hasn't come yet though, never seen him miss the feast.
>>44379601
All the first age wizards have nameplates, as do the department heads, no matter how young.
>points to the fancy metal nameplate stuck to the table in front of her
>"QUIN BRADLEY, CUTEST DEPARTMENT HEAD"
Turns out I can have whatever I want written on it, your's should be saying Lurco.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XHwhKwJypE4
>>44379352
...Mmf.
>>44379358
...
>maximum blush
>>44379392
Ewewewewewewew!
>>44379638
I'm not sure.
He's probably still out in Tenebrus.
He'll show up when he wants to.
>>44379640
Well, haven't seen you in a while.
>>44379638
Ah, cool. Wish they told me so I could change it. Would have put something like Doctor Doom or something.
>he chuckles
So, I heard, I made kame- no, wait, Dengen Senshi.
We're not rivals, are we?
>>44379640
>There's a bit of a nosebleed but he quickly wipes it away
>>44379640
My prosthetic conscience! I stuffed the krampus in a sack and beat him against the walls before chucking him in the sweaty german midget gimp closet! Good, bad, bit of both?
>>44379671
>Cocks head
Now why are you blushing?
>>44379678
Im always watching. Ive been going through some things lately though.
>>44379700
Depends on your point of view and which version of Krampus it was. Arguably Good, Arguably Bad.
>>44378754
*Emerges through warp anomoly*
To whatever lifeforms inhabit this current timeline, a very happy holidays to all squishy, puny meatbags.
Now, tell me where I can find 400 tons of Iridium ore or I shall annihilate this world and all its inhabitants. Except the Kittens, they come with me.
>>44379714
It's Pierre, he's Irritating Neutral.
>>44379714
Bit of both then? Goodie! I do say, I'm getting the hang of this! By which I mean which bits I should care about and act upon. Gotta keep that neutral alignment going strong, y'know?
>>44379237
Brother I know like five.
Wait...Glug?! Brother, you look like you could really hold your own in the ring now!
>>44379246
Ya'll's union is the KLU, right? Yeah them lizardy dudes...
>>44379283
>Nudges you with a elbow
Aw hells Q, don't play me for no fool now. The Auger King may have got some solid dings to the ole brain box but I know the Ole pale terror could take a man twice, aw shit, FIVE times 'er size!
>Winks
Good to see ya'll. I was in bit of humph when I had to go 'cause my powers aren't technically magic, more like musclin' the elemental planes to do what I need 'em to...but hey the Fighters treat me right and boy let me tell ya! There's a rowdy bunch right there!
>>44379724
Wicked. Um, I got some, but, well, you sorta have to buy it.
Also, please don't destroy the world. It's Chris- I mean, Wizardmas.
>>44379743
I got you a present, Adam. I see that you haven't opened it. In fact, it has an amount of dust consistent with actively avoiding a three foot radius around it, Adam. You wouldn't distrust a gift from little old me, would you Adam? The last gift was great, wasn't it Adam?
>>44379744
Not so much Neutral as Bad or Good depending on point of view, But it doesn't matter.
>>44379743
Hes not that bad.
>>44379746
Hey, I could hold my own in the ring before. Just that I can do much better now.
>>44379776
Ohhhhhh, I got pretty bad for a while there. Turned Adam into a skeleton to help him get over his fear.
>>44379714
Really now?
>>44379724
You'd have to ask the geomancers. They could probably make some for you.
>>44379671
Fine, stick to your normal food then. More for me!
>>44379678
Well, no one seems like they dares take his seat at least. So did you guys get anything after the invasion?
>>44379686
Nah, we are cool. Your Dengen Senshi are mostly on the other continents while magical girls dominate this one. We even worked together on a project once, with hilarious results.
>>44379714
Was it catnip? Because someone has been into my supply of catnip.
>>44379724
Five hundred leagues west and a turn back in time to last Monday.
>>44379746
Heh, couldn't fool you could I? If you want we could have a match sometime later, I got a few new tricks I've been wanting to try.
>>44379763
Paying? On a holiday. This triggers my Depression program.
Does this timeline accept Pan-galactic credits as valid currency?
>>44379805
>>44379797
Geomancers? Does not compute with any known professions.
Wait, what year is this?
>>44379830
Are you starting trouble?
>>44379797
Yes. No fun things either.
>>44379805
No.
>>44379789
Did it work?
>>44379640
Been a while. You want some coffee?
>>44379830
Eh, it's a mess, everyone is using a different calender around here. But I'm pretty sure everyone agrees that it's the 5th age, does that help?
>>44379853
Well, that's one possible culprit off the list at least.
>>44379853
He sat in the healer's ward pouting and not speaking because of the incessant clickety clacking whenever he moved. But he did have a skeleton butler following him around for a bit, so I guess it motivated him.
>>44379805
We got plenty of corpses, if that's what you're asking.
But other than that most people were just happy to have the chance to get out of the guild and slaughter people.
>>44379853
That's terrible. You're having fun now though, right?
Ah thanks goodness for all the snacks I assume you have brought!
I'm hosting a family of roaches over Christmas and require all I can grab!
>>44379870
Pass. Been having trouble sleeping as is.
>>44379882
Sounds like a success to me.
>>44379894
Not quite but its better than otherwise
>>44379775
Ten feet, I just have a long broom. And in answer to your questions, yes I don't trust your presents and yes, but the presentation needs work.
>>44379776
Which is just another way of saying that he's bad but a necessary evil.
>>44379789
Oh please, that was not the reason. You did it to use me as a guinea pig and so you could say I was being ungrateful for not accepting a free Halloween costume that I didn't want or ask for.
>>44379844
Reviewing my current programming on the understanding of meatbag laws and customs, it does not seem that I am.
>>44379873
5th age? Curious, it seems I went back farther than I anticipated. I come from the 38th age. My database for this time period brings up very little information.
I see there is still food left on the table, amazing.
>>44379908
What? Trouble sleeping? I say, you seem to be moping, morose even! Dare I say, melancholy? I'd offer my stash but I highly doubt that would help. How about fun, people like fun. What sounds fun?
>>44379908
Well, as long as you're better.
>>44379927
Lazarus, you finally made it!
>>44379911
You guys don't know what Geomancy is in the 38th age?
Did you rename it or something?
>>44379873
Force untold have told me you would appreciate this.
>hands you a small elaborate wooden box
>>44379709
N-Nothing in particular sir..
>>44379805
..Ew..
>>44379910
Well you better open it quick, it's going to start stinking in a few days, there was only enough of a chill spell to last until today. And please, it's never just one reason with me. Does helping in the most infuriating way possible not sound like me?
>>44379939
Yeah, Trouble sleeping. And I didn't even feel like bothering with the dumb outfit.
Why are you getting so verbose? Im not really in the mood for fun. I want food.
Bah, what is this wretched gathering and maysayings I hear?
>>44379894
Well, as long as everyone is happy I guess.
>>44379908
So Katia, how are those apprentices you were looking after doing? Still cute little bundles of trouble?
>>44379911
Wow, we must be to you like the 1st age is to us.
>>44379927
>raises a glass
And the top grump arrives!
>>44379951
Oooooo!
>quickly opens it
>>44379952
I've had it, take this once living chocolate beetle and stop judging my diet!
>>44379970
I do it when I'm in a good mood. Usually when I've goaded someone into trying to kill me. Which quite honestly, is hilarious. I'm as immortal as a cat in a box! And foooooood, let's see. Ham? Chicken? Turkey? Duck? Fish? Porcine turduckopiscii?
>>44379945
Magic has been outlawed in my time since the 18th age. Upon the use of my analyisis program, this "Geomancy" seem to be related to such heresies, and thus all knowledge of it has been eradicated by the Alchemists guild. If this be the time before the eradication of magicks as you say so, than I may in fact be quite "screwed" as you meatbags would say.
>>44379952
Please, kids don't just blush over nothing.
Did you ever get confirmation you've got magic?
>>44379982
It's called a celebration.
>>44379996
Everyone came out of it fairly happy, yes.
>>44380009
Who would outlaw magic, and how the hell would they enforce that?
>>44379996
Quin! I've been on the drugs again! Catch!
>It's a drug-tainted ball of source. It MENACES with hallucinogenic arcanum
>>44379960
No, just the infuriating part sounds like you. And I'm just waiting for my spells to refresh so I can cast mage hand to open it.
>>44380009
>Points at the mechanical thing.
And before anyone asks, that's temporal, not spatial, aka "not my job."
>>44379945
Of course I did, it's the event of the year after all. You would have to kill me to keep me away.
>smirks
People have tried in the past.
>>44379982
The Wizardmass feast of course.
>>44379996
>nods
Bunnyrat.
I brought divination chili, and Fountain of Youth Ice tea! Who wants some?
T-this is a holiday party, right?
>>44380025
Is this celebration a merry activity of being alive one more day in this mad house?
>>44380037
And no one invited me?
>>44379996
>red velvet lining hold three orbs, each the size of an apple. One is black, one is white, and one is clear. The clear one is in case in a glass cube.
One of the things I have gained knowledge of it source and its creation.
>>44379996
I sent most of them back home for reasons. But in general yes.
>>44380008
Raw Venison?
>>44380009
>Suddenly a giant is behind you
And how did they go about enforcing this ban?
>>44379996
>cringes
>>44380025
>smiles and nods
I have chronomancy powers..though..it's quite unstable. I sent a quarter of the dorms into a time freeze..Mr. Futurus got mad.
>>44380050
Yes it is, come on in. I'll pass on the tea, but send the chili this way.
>>44380036
Recharge? Really? Preparation based casting is a hassle, I thought that was only a thing people did when they had to. And it's eggnog you ninny, finest bourbon only, accept no substitutes.
>>44380037
Lazarus! Now, I know you've recently come into an empire and a wife...HAH! And every empire needs a spymaster! But, no normal spymaster will do, so I've had the skull of Roger Muirebe sent to your castle!
>>44380065
Well, I've got some that's been cooked blue, the head maid probably has some raw. Blue's mostly raw though.
>>44380009
So, what are your options then? Are you forced to stay and hide or face severe punishment?
>>44380025
Except for the vampires who held the country I'm guessing.
>>44380029
>catches it
This is the most irresponsible gift anyone has ever given me. Thank you! I hid yours in the archive, I figured you might appreciate a treasure hunt.
>>44380036
I wasn't going to say anything about it, I'm pretty sure I can tell the difference between planes and chronomancy... most of the time.
>>44380059
Oh sweet Criticus, you didn't! This is the best Wizardmass ever!
>>44380087
EAT IT!
>>44380065
I was wondering why there were fewer of them around.
>>44380025
My god was built in the 17th age called Dorn who'd come to eclipse all others. He would become the god of constructs such as myself, and as meatbags would say he is the embodiment of "No fun allowed". I am his disciple, but given I was built after the magical disappearance I'm not programmed to kill Witches and Warlocks on sight. I'm sure you appreciate this currently.
>>44380084
Dorn killed most of the meatbags, hooked up the survivors to some disruption engines which fried their brains upon magical contact. Quite nasty stuff. My kind was built to hunt meatbag magicians, but we mostly travel the timewaves now, our Magetrak.Exe programs deactivated since the 20th age.
>>44380126
Who built this Dorn?
>Looks left, then right to ensure he is unsupervised, before heaping pocket-fulls of creepy crawlies onto his portion of the table
>>44380037
What haven't people tried to kill you over?
>>44380052
Nope, Wizardmas.
>>44380050
It is.
You will be judged harshly on your ability to make tasty snacks.
>>44380087
Well, you have magic then. Control is something we can help with.
>>44380122
But they're vampires. We picked the country because nobody would complain about us slaughtering them
>>44380126
I...
Don't some of us know actual gods? I doubt one god could beat all of them at once.
>>44380100
Close enough. Though I may just go hunting. Been too long since I did that, Always helped clear my head.
>>44380122
Hmmm. Proooooobably less irresponsible than the black source in that box.
>>44380126
Appreciation, you are nothing more than a thing. Something with a fake will. And no determination. You have no ability to even touch one who truly knows his discipline.
>>44380151
wizardmas? wizard mass? Have we finally become a cult?
>>44380162
And less perfect
>>44380052
Are you part of the guild? Because if so, you were invited.
>>44380059
>raises an eyebrow at Quin's gift
Is that safe?
>>44380100
You had Roger Muirebe's skull... no, of course you did, why am I asking. Assuming is of more help than trouble, thank you.
>>44380126
Dorn? Interesting.
>>44380151
>seems to think about it
I'll have to get back to you about that one.
>Wakes up from his seat
Huh wha?
. . .Did someone hit me with a sleep spell?
>>44378754
AHHHH
WIZARDMAS, THE PERFECT TIME TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!
>>44380151
I dont know if you would care for it, but forces untold told me you would appreciate this.
>hands you a small black box
>>44380122
Given I cannot finish my objective, going back would mean I would be deactivated for parts. It seems I am stuck here, celebrating Wizardmass with heretical meatbags. I'll make myself useful if it pleases you.
>>44380139
>>44380151
Database doesn't say, most likely a member of the Alchemists. One who was extremely, as you meatbags say, "butthurt" over something the mages did to him.
>>44380169
By my calculations, had I been equipped to hunt Magick heretics upon my arrival, I would have a 93% effectiveness rating upon taking you by surprise. The tech of my time is quite something.
>>44380151
>smirks
And yet you put another vampire on the throne. Pretty sneaky of you.
>>44380162
>>44380192
>starts laughing maniacally
>>44380212
Is that...
>He scrambles up and gets a pen and paper
Hello, Rita Repulsa! Can I have your autograph?
>>44380192
Just make sure they dont touch.
>>44380222
We could try and pure all the alchemist, but that might lead to Dorns creation.
>Thinks over for a minute
Wait, Dorn is made of metal, right?
>>44380218
>Takes box
>Examines box
Is this a trap?
>>44380224
We put Lazarus's wife on the throne. Entirely different.
>>44380192
I'll be surprised if you ever manage to think of something.
>>44380212
This can't end well.
>>44380245
Indeed. Highly purified Iridium ore. Why do you ask?
>>44380192
I can with insurance, my inbox has been nothing but dust and cobwebs for 60 days I have not even seen my apprentice.
>>44380222
You are nothing but script. I hold in my palm a magic that is represented by prospects and eternity itself. A power so vast and so deep, it is incomprehensible to your mind. You wouldn't have 1% meager percent. Even you fear your end, and that fear gives me magic power.
>>44380100
It's not fully prepared casting, what do I look like, a Vancian? But I factor in different things when I prepare for the day, and I didn't figure out conditions for mage hand. As for the gift, thanks for the thought, I'll still be opening it from a distance.
>>44380248
Open it and find out.
>looks entertained by your response.
>>44380192
That's the spirit. And of course I did, old colleague of mine.
>>44380181
IT'S NOT A CONTEST! And besides, hard to top the original incident
>>44380161
You need a hug. I'm bad at hugs.
>>44380267
Just making some notes for the future
>wrights down some notes
So, how are the giants doing in the future?
>>44380298
I have a gift for you Morty.
>hands you a nice smelling box
>>44380269
I apologize, sir. Things have occurred, ensued, been overcome. While I haven't been able to meet that often, rest assured I have been practicing.
>>44380281
If this kills me I'm going to be very angry when I get back.
>Opens box
>>44380283
I really don't.
If I wanted physical contact I would have worn something that wouldn't make it incredibly awkward.
>>44380122
NO!
..I screamed um..sorry.
>>44380151
>mumbles softly
I hope you can help me with it too..
>>44380305
Thank you Trostia. My gifts for everyone should be showing up within two weeks
>Opens it
>>44380238
>>44380248
>Looks at the pen and paper briefly and signs before coming to a realization
YES, I WILL GET MY MINIONS TO STEAL THE PINK RANGERS' LETTER TO CUTHBERT-CLAUS AND TURN THAT INTO A MONSTER TO DESTROY THOSE PALADIN RANGERS!
>>44380315
Awkward? It's just skin, everyone has that. Well, except Screaming Todd.
>>44380329
>suddenly!
STOP RIGHT THERE, MOCO RITO!
>>44380321
What was that?
I'm sorry, but I don't know really anything about chronomancy.
>>44380313
>it holds a small skull, something foreign, not from Aen. Three eye holes and three horns.
Thought it'd look nice on your desk.
>>44380269
Sounds like your dorm or office might be in a quarantined area, did you hear anything about any experiments going on before you stopped getting mail? Because that might explain a thing or two.
>>44380283
Yes, I remember now. I was wondering where his body ended up, I should have known you took care of it.
>>44380313
Don't worry I got what I need to bring you back with me in case that happens.
>>44380329
Wicked. Thanks a bunch. This means a lot even if you're an alternative universal equivalent!
. . .You look hotter than I thought.
>He blushes
Ah, uh, I'll get going now.
>He starts walking away
>>44380352
Oh stop it! She's not even ya'll's villain! Ya'll's villain is probably an awakened monkey of some kind!
>>44380325
>coffee beans, only purple.
I managed to get a few gifts from Kixictuuhlopt. These have a unique flavor.
>>44380298
Enslaved as manual labor to the High Over fiend. That or conscripted as shock troops against the Vonglar Empire.
Quite a lucky group of meatbags if I do say so myself. They aren't even memory wiped.
>>44380269
Script is a bit of a simplification. I run off of Tri-Quantum Mechanical engines, thrice as complex as a human brain. It's needed to comprehend all the data contained in pan-time space.
Again though, I would highly advise against engaging a Mechanoid Magehunter if thou should ever encounter one.
Rolled 6 (1d20)
>>44380352
NOT NOW POWERBUFF CATS
GO MY MINIONS, KEEP THESE GIRLS DISTRACTED!
>>44380375
Yes, and since I remember where I got it, probably minimal chance of you being turned into a bunnycat.
>>44380312
Nothing is as powerful, nor as eternal as this aspect. All things must end.
>>44380375
I only heard minor things, like 'oh gods it's coming.' or 'My atoms! It's eating all of my atoms.' Damned redshirts and their restless shouting.
>>44380388
But you lack the true ability to push forward, even my apprentice could defeat you.
>>44380375
I have something for you too Lazarus. Its actually for you and Amar.
>hands a wide flat box.
>>44380386
Thank you
>>44380388
You better have a damn good reason why I shouldn't feed you to the rust monsters right about now
>>44380361
>Takes skull out of box
>Looks it over
Neat. I've been looking for a weird skull.
>>44380375
I'm not surprised.
My niece also has the stuff needed for a ritual, but I'd rather her not have to. You know?
>>44380388
I don't see you lasting long here. Not with that attitude.
>>44380424
You still need to interrogate him?
>>44380383
Who?!
>>44380389
HIYA!
>Buttercut uses scratch!
>>44380355
I know but..you can help in other ways, right?
>going to mention astrid has a few bruises on her lip and she looks like she was in a fight
>>44380443
MOJO JOJO! Or some form of universal equivalent! He's probably out there right now terrorizing a city while you three fight the wrong villain!
Rolled 5 (1d20)
>>44380443
>Minion noises as they scratch back
Can people stop the posturing? It's a holiday, we could at least try not to make threats and boasts for one day.
>>44380418
Indeed that nay be so. I can shoot nanolasers though.
>>44380424
Highly skilled combat abilities? Knowledge of 200 different languages? Ability to make 30 different flavors of pudding?
>>44380433
As it is. Forgive my posturing.
>The intensity of crawling in the room has grown exponentially
>>44380482
That isn't really all that special in this guild. Anyway, do you know where Dorn was built?
>>44380472
>>44380443
>DICE!
>>44380478
>Lurco looks at Adam
>He then walks over to him
Did you just say something that could be considered sane?
>>44380491
Ew.
>>44380482
I can destroy all matter in your collection from the power of the slight annoyances from the room right now.
>>44380503
>DAMN YOU DICE!
>they are struck and go flying back
AH!
Rolled 9 (1d20)
>>44380503
>Minions implore you to use dice+1d20 in the options field
>>44380459
Of course I can help in other ways.
Is there anything you need help with now?
>>44380482
No, no, it's good to know what to prepare for so we can prevent it, and you, from ever being.
>>44380409
That assurance does not fill me with confidence you know.
>>44380418
Yes they are a nuisance, but it sounds like my guess was correct. Next time you have time let a bueromancer know they can drop the quarantine.
>>44380419
Very well.
>opens the box
>>44380433
Personally I would think it would be great for her training. But she is your niece, not mine.
Whaaaaaat is this?
>Any eldritch sense in the room starts screaming
>>44380315
Hey Katia, what's up?
>>44380541
Good for her training? Yes, certainly.
Good for her and her mental health? Probably less so.
>>44380556
...I was about to ask that.
>>44380514
My knowledge of magical abilities does not have this on record. Fascinating.
>>44380497
Can't say for certain. By the 18th age, the sea levels had risen quite considerably. Possibly around the town you know as "Elms Hollow".
>>44380532
Actually, my material form is designed to be resistant to time anomalies. Even If you prevent Dorn from existing, I'd still survive the timeline change.
Anyway, pudding anyone? This one is Caramel flavored.
>>44380532
..Er..well.
>shows some books
Do you know where..um..Wulf is? Do you know who he is? It took a lot to get these books and..
>>44380587
I will be right back
>Goes to check on the map of the world for such a town
>>44380491
Arnold, please keep them on your side of the room.
>>44380507
I hope so. You know I try to balance out the insanity here.
>>44380556
>"Probably something you did."
Eh, she's right. Chances are you're somehow related.
Rolled 3 (1d20)
>>44380461
What?!
>>44380527
>Mumbles uses scratch to fight their way out and zoom off to find Nogo Gogo
>>44380591
Wulf?
I'm sorry, I'm not familiar with the name.
Fortunately, we've got the archives, and I've got skeletons.
>Snaps fingers
>In the archives, a pair of skeletons begin searching through the shelves for mentions of Wulf
Just check with Shivers and Jeeves after the meeting, see if they've found anything.
>>44380587
Interesting...
>>44380556
Go back to my area! You're not welcomed here!
>>44380587
Do you wish to learn?
>Teuivae shows no emotion in his face
>>44380541
>two robes, fancy robes. One is much smaller, and they match
Merry wizardmas
Rolled 15 (1d20)
>>44380632
>Minions keep trying to distract
>Meanwhile Rita has fucked off to carry out her plan.
>>44380611
>Squirming intensifies
I promise nothing.
>>44380642
If I may. What does magical prowess require?
>>44380611
I mean, indirectly. But not that just now, that was me. So what is all this?
>>44380478
I'll have you know I haven't killed to threatened anyone all day.
>>44380556
...do I want to know?
>>44380653
>inspects them
Thank you, and merry wizardmas to you too.
Rolled 3 (1d20)
>>44380654
>NOOOOOOOOO!
>They try and rainbow-laser blast their way out
>>44380679
It's just me. Is this a feast? I didn't know we had one scheduled.
>>44380662
Your complete destruction.
>>44380611
Thank the Lords!
. . .Sorry, my name is Lurco and I'm still getting used to this world.
>>44380640
Ok..um..
..Er..Mr. Doomblight?
>>44380655
They're in the pudding! Arnold!
>>44380665
Wizardmas. Grab a seat, don't eat the pudding, it has bugs in it.
>>44380707
...I know who you are, Lurco.
Let me guess, new form, wiped your own memories.
>>44380714
You can call me Professor Doomblight if you want.
Or, I suppose you're not one of my students. Just call me Doomblight. Or Veilhex, if you want.
>>44380723
...Is that a holiday? I don't like the sound of it.
>>44380696
It's the Wizardmas Feast, it's a yearly event that everyone attends. Since this is your first one I'll in the spirit of the season grant you a spot at the high table. As usual I forgot to give out most of the seats I have to spare.
>>44380701
Hmmmm perhaps another time then.
>>44380723
My pudding has bugs?! This won't do at all. I must get to eradicating this infestation before I cook the goose.
Rolled 4 (1d20)
>>44380687
>Attempt to steal hats before running off
>>44380723
Um, oh, no. I'm another Lurco from another timeline and universe. Your Lurco grabbed me, put me in his place, only filled me with memories of his children and some of his friends, and then fucked off to become the One Above All or something.
. . .I've learned he's a major prick.
>>44380723
>>44380751
It's their wizardmas too you exo-ists!
>>44380740
Er, alright. I still don't know what this is. Only that it dounds like drunken wizards are involved.
Rolled 8 (1d20)
>quietly snickers and pushes
>>44380727
>onto
>>44380738
Rolled 13 (1d20)
>>44380759
>They attempt to super paw at the Minions and fly off
>>44380751
Don't worry, in eternity, your end already is. You won't ever know it.
>walks off
>>44380792
>Minions are rebuffed and scramble away
Rolled 19 (1d20)
>>44380772
*Targeting nanolasers fire at the bugs*
>>44380785
Gah!
>Is shoved
Why would you do that?!
Rolled 9 (1d20)
>>44380785
>DAWDGE
>>44380779
Well you see, this time of year there are many, many, many different festivities involving the turning point where the winter stops getting colder and starts getting warmer. And at some point the Mages Guild decided, "that looks like fun, we should do that" and picked the best parts of every one of them. It involves eating, drinking, singing and the exchanging of gifts.
>>44380727
Um..Veilhex. I um...well, what are you doing for Wizardmas?
>tilts her head
>and inside tries not to faint from nervousness
>>44380821
Ah! A-Are you ok?
>>44380821
>SUCCESS DAWDGE
Oh! Sorry Sir, did you trip?
>>44380845
I'm fine.
I was just planning on spending it with my Niece. Why? Want to spend it with someone?
>>44380850
No, I was shoved by a shipomancer.
>>44380844
I didn't get any gifts... Because of that time you found me in a superstitious swamp village and I was illiterate. Ohhh I feel terrible...
>>44380738
Yes, and why not?
>>44380751
They're Arnold's. Don't kill them unless you want to fight him.
>>44380760
Yeah, seems like he can be.
>>44380772
So you should have set it aside! They're probably everywhere by now!
ICE to be here
>>44380779
It does, but not before the food runs out.
>>44380850
>>44380871
Just sit down and eat, ignoring them is the best way to avoid them.
>>44380907
...quite so.
>>44380871
Oh. I just ignore them.
>>44380895
Drunk wizards. And I didn't get anything for anyone.
>>44380816
....it's like a thousnad tiny, multi-legged voices just screamed out, and were suddenly silenced....
>Emilia returns from her grievous hunger
>not even a wyvern has a belly this large
wow, I haven't eaten any good food in almost 2 years.
>>44380895
Yeah. Did you know he had people die for him!?
>>44380926
>He claps and points at Arnold with both hands
I get that reference.
>>44380892
>>44380924
Don't worry, I got you something.
>gives Phobia a box wrapped in yellow cloth
And don't worry about having to get me something. I already got the gift of the year from Trostia.
>starts laughing maniacally again
>>44380924
Doesn't work when they shove you.
>>44380945
How does the meatbag form contain that much food?
Anyway, more pudding? This one is Coffee flavored.
>>44380963
>Attempts to acknowledge, however his mouth is left agape in shock still. A small fly leaves it.
>>44380895
>>So you should have set it aside! They're probably everywhere by now!
>Would in any other situation point out that now the table is smouldering with a significant number of bug casualties
>>44378823
What's wrong veilhex? This'll be just like that time we had that lich-off in 78
>>44380907
Is it a requirement for cryomancers to make bad puns?
>>44380924
That's fine. I kept my gift list short too. Most people are getting portable portals.
>>44380963
Yes. And other things too. But he's not all bad.
>>44380992
I have my ways. Now what are you? You're like no golem I've ever seen.
>>44380992
Allow me to answer your question by teaching you a phrase common in this time period; Magic!
>smiles
Also, you are wondering about the wrong meatbag, I'm smaller than her and I've eaten at least as much as her.
>>44380922
Right...
>She sits
>>44380981
Fair enough, I suppose.
>>44380965
Should I be scared?
>>44381033
Arnold? Arnold! Listen to me, I know it's hard, but someone has to tell their families. You need to take care of the survivors.
>>44381077
Hello Phobia.
>>44381034
And we all know how well that went.
>>44381077
Stupid shipomancers...
>>44381033
Uh... you had a, um, a fly in your mouth.
>>44381041
Other things!? I-I don't even want to know. It will probably make me feel worse than I already do.
>>44381058
. . .Is that a trait of elves on this world?
>>44381094
Hello Emilia, you've been gone a while.
>>44380871
..Um..well..kind of...
See I have a feast i'm going to in the Northern Barrens and then I don't really have anything to do so..
