Wait, hold up;
So you have this magical device called a "bag of holding".
It's a portal to some vaguely defined other realm that you've never seen.
Whatever you put in it, despite the interior being immense, is easily removed from the magical device, which means that it is not only aware and able to judge what you put in it, but is then able to probe or sense your mind to work out what item in particular you want from it, which it then presents to you on command because it's always aware of what items you want from it.
Dude, it's a psionic or astral parasite of some kind, clearly just making itself handy so you'll carry it around long enough it can eat all your brain juice. Get rid of it or burn it or something.
>>44343797
No, man, it's cool. We tamed them a long time ago. As long as you keep it properly fed it won't try to bite you. It's like dogs, keep friendly with them and train them well and you've got nothing to fear.
>>44343797
You've seen the wizard make whole universes out of nothing and you assume the relatively mundane bag of holding -- which you've seen the wizard make dozens of -- is a parasite.
If anyone in your fantasy setting actually thinks like that then they are legitimately retarded and you are by extension.
>>44343865
...or is that just what the bags want you to believe?
>>44343899
>You've seen the wizard make whole universes out of nothing
Dammit Steve, we've been over this: Casting "flight" on a fart bubble while you're in the bath and then using a constant effect Force Cage to keep it from popping, DOES NOT constitute "making a whole universe out of nothing".
>>44343797
Wait, hold up.
Is she going to fuck that bird?
>>44343797
All bags of holding are sold via front companies for a lich renting out space in their personal demiplane.
They go through your artifacts and belongings and bookmark them for future theft. If you store powerful corpses in the bag sometimes they'll even steal them and raise them undead.
>>44343797
>Dude, it's a psionic or astral parasite of some kind,
I will attach it to my colon and thus remove the need of pooping.
>>44344154
They have maximum loads, so eventually you have to have it removed and then individually remove each turd by hand, which seems like a lot of shit to go through just to achieve more easily achieved by becoming a lich or other sentient undead.
>>44344154
>waft of shit just flies through the astral plane and slaps the Salamander King right in the fucking face
And that's why we're at war with the Elemental Plane of Fire kids
>>44344102
More importantly, is that a really big bird or a really small elf?
>>44344350
I'll take "What is a Halfling" for 200, Bob.
>>44344409
It could also be a gnome who's picked up the badhobbitof running around in bare feet.
>>44344452
You have to go back, Carlos.
>>44344268
For better or worse, you can invert the bag to empty it.
Yes, that particular use has been noted on this board before. Yes, to the result you'd imagine.
>>44343797
>Trying to make us not use these bags of holding so you can sell us more ruck/knapsacks and other shit
I'm onto you, merchant. You may dress up like a a huntress but you can never fool this one.
>>44343797
>bird-mounted halfling archer
tell me how can I get this.
>>44343925
that's what we want the bags to believe
>>44343797
Or its just an inteligent yet not sentient device made by wizards to store their large amount of draconis fake appendages for later use and potential anti-bard traps.
>>44343797
>"bag of holding".
> it is not only aware and able to judge what you put in it, but is then able to probe or sense your mind to work out what item in particular you want from it
Incorrect, sir!
The last Bag of Holding I place a bundle of candles into and had to jump in and go digging for half and hour to find.
The item you are describing is a Heward's Handy Haversack
The mortal-God Heward (Semi-god of Bards and technological) developed this to aid Heros to be able to pull out the right item at the right item. To aid in you know... heroic stories telling.
The item clearly functions on minut prayers. You pray to pull out just the right item at the right time and it works. That's gods for ya.
>mfw OP is too young to have heard of the Bag of Devouring
>>44343797
So you're saying you guys never had a character stuff their head/hand/dick inside the bag after identifying it just to be sure it's safe?
>>44349174
WHY WOULD YOU STICK ANY OF THOSE THINGS IN THERE TO MAKE SURE IT'S SAFE!
>>44343899
>wizards can make entire universes out of nothing
>martials MUST be mundane, preternatural at best, and to argue anything else is unthinkable blasphemy
This is why D&D players are garbage to DM for.
>>44349642
>they said something about high power wizards, so they MUST be against high power martials because I think they should be.
Fuck off retard.
>>44349623
>Not sticking your dick in everything
>>44343925
...how do you know that's not just what the dogs want us to believe?
>>44349137
>go digging for half an hour to find
Quite a feat, considering bags of holding only contain 7 minutes of air.
I'm pretty sure that you can go inside of a bag of holding
Forget where I read this, but there was a specific example where somebody climbed inside one and used their arms to drag themselves through a small gap in some rocks
>>44343797
No, look and shut up, and I know where this is going
>can I put de benis in de hole x-DDDD
No you fucking can't you moron martial dipshit. Go play in the mud or whatever the fuck you faggy martials do while adults do adult things.
>>44344409
No one else is bothered but apparently they're not as autistic as I am. It's supposed to be Alex. Alex Trebek hosts Jeopardy!. Not some mysterious Bob figure. If you're going to make Jeopardy! jokes say Alex please.
>>44354261
Trebek, pls
No one but you really cares who hosts jeopardy
>>44349919
g-good point my fellow fleshy living person...
>>44349623
>WHY WOULD YOU STICK ANY OF THOSE THINGS IN THERE TO MAKE SURE IT'S SAFE!
Nah see, if you look around the inside of a bag of holding, well all you know is that you can't SEE any monsters, but you know what can turn invisible? Succubuses.
Stick your dick in though and its a rare succubuss that can resist giving it a quick'n.
It's the only way to make sure.
>>44344288
My sides need a drawfag for this
>>44343797
> is easily removed from the magical device, which means that it is not only aware and able to judge what you put in it
your thinking of the handy haversack
>>44356698
cant argue with that logic
>>44348869
Play 2e, you can do it at level one.
>>44343899
>Every fantasy setting has high powered wizards everywhere and even the lowliest peasant knows him and has seen his arcane skills.
I prefer my wizards and magical items to be rare. You won't find ye olde magick shoppe on the street corner of every city in my settings. Being a wizard, or being able to cast any kind of magic really is pretty fucking special.
