Let's make a kingdom, /tg/. Any comment is true, provided it doesn't contradict any previous comments.
>>44246362
The king is a dog
>>44246362
The king is a knight
>>44246380
>>44246399
Dogknight king confirmed
>>44246362
The king was granted immortality by the fae queen, and rules his kingdom eternally.
>>44246362
The king is a were-dire wolf
>>44246418
contradiction
remove
>>44246380
>>44246399
>>44246411
The kings mortal enemy is the leader of a nation of shamanistic cats.
>>44246411
His name is Alberto Barbossa.
The king has a harem of hot bitches.
>>44246415
He has immortality, but he's only been alive so far for 200 - 300 years.
The knights of the royal guard all ride griffons.
The majority of the population are halflings
>>44246463
The King wants to use the griffons to chase pigeons
>>44246480
There is a minority of sentient bipedal pigs that act like racist germans.
The Kingdom is actually a pack of large dragons the King defeated, but spared back in his adventuring days. The Capital City and all the lands are upon the backs of these dragons, protected from the wind and turbulence with draconic magic.
>>44246509
The kingdom is well-known for its widespread opium production and consumption.
>>44246444
Dire wolf is just a really really really big dog
the dogknight king's urine is considered a delicacy amongst the aristocracy
>>44246458
The king has a harem of bitches in the literal sense.
Drows are a sizeable minority in the kingdom.
No horses, just centaurs. Centaurs take the place and purpose of horses.
>>44246622
Centaurs are not considered as people, only as slaves.
The kingdom has a love-hate economic relationship with elves, from whom they get most of their yew bows for defense.
>>44246545
>>44246622
>>44246643
Great, now the magical realm has been shoved onto the world. OP, can you go ahead and invalidate these?
Dragonkin and orcs/half-orcs are strictly forbidden from entering the kingdom, as they smell funny and can not into treats
>>44246362
The king is a practitioner of not!Islam. His subjects however, are not.
All attempts at converting them have ended in failure.
The decaying walls of those cities that have them are home to many birds.
The "Queen" is in fact a little old lady that takes the king out for walkies twice a day.
>>44246597
They are engaged in an urban gang-war with the bipedal pig minority. The city guards do nothing about it.
>>44246362
The kingdom is a shithole that recently suffered a civil war.
It's main export is salt and bad news.
>>44246685
Since the OP's only rule is "no contradictions", I'm afraid we're fucked.
>>44246685
The Centaur Slaves may not be strictly magical realm. I can see a tough race like centaurs being very useful for slave work.
A complicated geography with multiple canyons and plateaus give the kingdom an improbable number of waterfalls, such that it is always cloudy/foggy in the majority of the kingdom.
The proper way to greet the king in his royal court is to approach, extend your upward Palm, say "shake, m'lord", and allow him to shake.
I'm >>44246622
>>44246685
1. WTF is the magical realm?
2. A slave class in a kingdom is literally a breeding ground for plot hooks.
>>44246362
The kingdom is 1 second away from unavoidable total annihilation by a giant meteor which the kingdom has no way to prevent from impacting and destroying all life. Besides the king of course, he's immortal
>>44246803
The kingdom has infinite amounts of time travel magic used to keep rewinding before impact.
>>44246803
Though the kingdom cannot prevent it, brave sir Aradel of the elven conclave diverts the meteor and other threats by magical means in return for a favor that the dog knight king did long ago.
>>44246415
>>44246380
>>44246399
The King was not always a Dog.
It came with the Immortality.
>>44246797
However, the proper way of greeting someone you know is this one.
>>44246788
Fog from the kingdom is considered to be good for the health of people, plants, animals and other life; especially by other civilisations around it.
>>44246803
>that one troll
>>44246860
They have over 200 distinct and named types of fog.
>>44246838
The time travel magic comes from the University of the kingdom, a place of great power, influence and unbridled debauchery.
>>44246909
This fog is bottled and sold by alchemists.
>>44246860
The fog comes from the giant dragons. The people try not to think too hard about which part.
>>44246909
Once a year there is purple/gold fog throughout the kingdom. This is celebrated with an all day festival including feasts, centaur jousting, and the royal Game of Fetch
>>44246924
Wizards from this university wear sunglasses and have excellent glutes.
The King married the Fae that gave him immortality and turned him into a dog.
Her name is Savniry.
>>44246979
Their (mandatory at all times) hats are horizontally striped orange and white.
The national instrument is the fiddle. All music pieces played within the kingdom must contain one fiddle.
>>44246956
The feasts traditionally include a variety of giant far-travelling seabird, which rears its chicks in the kingdom. It is a criminal offence to eat it outside of the festival period.
The DogKing was turned into a Corgi.
During the last civil war, all the catfolk of the kingdom have been impaled.
Rolled 4, 6 = 10 (2d6)
...
The many noble houses operate under matrilineal succession. The majority of royal, political and civic titles are held by women. The army is officially unisex, though for the most part in name only, but is overseen by a female in a ceremonial position.
The king only likes to be pet by cute girls.
>>44247059
At least, that was the popular rumor to explain why he was no longer a beagle.
In truth, he was simply dognapped and replaced with a corgi
The king was a knight named Albert Barbossa who was granted immortality by the fae queen some 200+ years ago, which turned him into a corgi. He then married the fae queen, whose name is Savniry
The kingdom's populace is mostly halflings. There are also minorities of humanoid pigs that act like racist Germans and drow elves, who hate eachother. Dragon-kin and anyone with orcish blood is banned from the kingdom.
The kingdom has a stable of griffons which the royal knights command (the king also uses the griffons to chase pigeons). There is a population of centaurs, though they not citizens. They are enslaved and used as horses.
The capital city is built upon the backs of dragons the king bested and is protected by draconic magic. The surrounding terrain is full of plateaus, canyons, and waterfalls, such that the kingdom is always full of fog (200 distinct kinds of fog, which is produced by dragons), which is bottled and sold by alchemists. The fog is considered a sign of good health.
Once a year, the fog turns purple and gold and is met with a kingdom wide festival, during which giant far-travelling seabirds rear chicks in the kingdom and are often eaten for celebration (it's illegal to eat them any other time).
The kingdom is neighbored by another kingdom lead by shamanistic cats. The king considers them his mortal enemy. They also have an economic trade relationship with the elves, who provide them with weaponry for defense.
A giant meteor seemed destine to destroy the kingdom, but Sir Aradel of the Elven Conclave diverted the threat, as repayment for a favor the king provided for him long ago.
The kingdom is home to a highly influential magic university, where time magic is practiced. The university is also full of unbridled debauchery and all the wizards wear sunglasses and orange striped hats and have excellent glutes.
The official instrument of the kingdom is the flute.
>>44247089
That's good, but the national instrument is the fiddle rather than the flute.
>>44247082
Actually, the King has many body doubles that take the throne for him while he is off doing important dog stuff.
How ever, they are all different breeds of Dog. So everyone in the kingdom believes that the King is a shape shifter
>>44247107
That's what the civil war was about.
>>44247008
The queen is currently pregnant with their first child. Or litter. Curious as most people are about the mechanics of that particular process, most citizens agree with the adage "don't ask questions you don't want to know the answer to".
>>44247107
Oops, mistyped. Sorry.
>>44247117
Fucking lost it
The king's favourite instrument was actually the cello, but he had trouble playing anything larger than a fiddle after the transformation.
Every so often, (each month) a destined hero is randomly chosen from the common citizens. They are trained in the arts of combat, leadership, tactics, and fiddle-playing. They are then given a fiddle, a sword, a parachute, and catapulted off the back of the most rearward dragon in the kingdom. No one knows what happens to them next.
>>44246788
>>44246788
>improbable number of waterfalls
>>44246770
>It's main export is salt
The Salt is extracted from the encrustations in the vicinity of the waterfalls.
Being the major source of wealth, most feudal holds are centered around one and the associated processing plant, the loss of which usually spells the end of the attendant noble house.
Dissolved salts are deposited by waterfall spray and remain when the water evaporates off.
Fresh water is scarce in the kingdom and most of the rivers are very saline from the wastelands upstream in the middle of the continent.
I'd run it.
>>44247198
>dragon in the kingdom
I sure as hell hope there aren't any, given that it's illegal
>>44246770
King Dog rebuilt the Kingdom into a glorious utopia after the Civil War, and its main exports are now master crafted fiddles and friendly, strangely intelligent dogs.
>>44247343
>I sure as hell hope there aren't any, given that it's illegal
Nobody said it was alive. It's just the preserved and animated corpse. More of a siege engine really with a ceremonial duty.
>>44247343
Dude, the entire kingdom is on the backs of huge dragons, remember?
>>44247280
Salt can be manufactured into a drug with mild hallucinogenic properties, but it only takes effect while you sleep. The main importer in the capital is the gunsmiths guild, famous for their rock salt shotguns.
Slaves are convicted criminals only. If two slaves have a child, it is not a slave and is given over to the care of the state.
>>44247380
only their main export is salt
>>44247380
Nope! Totes contradicts this:
>>44246770
Current largest exports are salt and bad news.
>Unless we classify fiddles and doges as bad news?
>>44247424
>Salt can be manufactured into a drug with mild hallucinogenic properties, but it only takes effect while you sleep.
The hallucinogenic properties are known to be mildly prophetic and trained adepts can use them to see bits of the future by entering into a trance like state where they can lucidly dream and relay instructions.
This allows deep ocean navigation despite the planets lack of stable magnetic fields upon which to base a compass and thick layer of persistent cloud that routinely blocks out the stars.
>>44247435
In fact, it's rumored that current archmagisrate comes from such a background.
>>44247441
I'm continuing the story of the Kingdom senpai,
it took a long time and years of rebuilding, but Dog King made his Kingdom great again years after the Civil War
Man, this setting is almost good.
Almost.
>>44247526
Still nope. Might have been fiddles and doges in the past, or even during the war, but right now it's salt!
>>44247526
Or so the nautical salt prophets foretell. Such salt-talk is highly discouraged in the capital, by order of the king.
>>44247424
The shotguns are famous because of their tendency to give survivors horrible nightmares due to the salt's hallucinogenic nature. Victims tend to scream loudly throughout the night, making it easier for bounty hunters to locate their prey.
Reworked summary:
The king is a knight named Alberto Barbossa, granted immortality by the fae queen Savniry 200+ years ago, which turned him into a corgi. Afterwards, he married her.
The kingdom is mosty populated by halflings. There are also humanoid pigs and drow, who hate each other. There's a population of centaurs, though they're enslaved and used as horses. The kingdom is also home to a highly influential magic university, where time magic is practiced. The university is also full of unbridled debauchery and all the wizards wear sunglasses and orange striped hats and have excellent glutes.
The capital city is built upon the backs of dragons the king bested and is protected by draconic magic. The surrounding terrain is full of plateaus, canyons, and waterfalls, such that the kingdom is always full of fog (200 distinct kinds of fog, which is produced by the dragons). The fog is bottled and sold by alchemists and is considered a sign of good health. Once a year, the fog turns purple and gold and is met with a kingdom wide festival, during which giant far-travelling seabirds are often eaten for celebration (it's illegal to eat them any other time).
The kingdom once experienced a civil war over the official instrument of the kingdom (flute vs fiddle), though the king himself prefers the cello. The kingdom also exports fiddles - in fact, random citizens are often chosen to be heroes, trained in the ways of fiddle-playing, and are catapulted off into the world. The kingdom also exports magical salt collected from encrustations near the waterfalls (the salt is known to cause prophetic hallucinations).
The kingdom is neighbored by a kingdom of shamanistic cats, who the king considers his mortal enemy. They also have an economic trade relationship with the elves, who provide them with weaponry.
A giant meteor seemed destined to destroy the kingdom, but Sir Aradel of the Elven Conclave diverted the threat, as repayment for a favor the king provided for him long ago.
>>44247559
The closer they go to the ocean, the stronger these dreams become.
Air heavy with salt in basin areas has given rise to tales of mystical "vision grottos" where the waking world overlaps with that of dreams.
>>44247607
You forgot the Kings multi-breed body doubles, and the slave system
Other than that it looks great!
>>44247682
And the matriarchal nobility, plus all the birds in the outer city.
>>44247607
I assume you'll continue this with a discussion of the Salt and the feudal structures in place around salt production.
Clearly the time magic at the university is related to the study of the prophetic nature of the Salt.
Also, the Salt is now a proper noun and is thus properly presented with a Capital letter.
>The Salt Must Flow!
The Kingdom is the size of Luxembourg and wields zero influence in the wider world. It has not been conquered by a foreign power because the Elves have declared it under their protection.
>>44247725
Zero world influence is incompatible with it being the source of the world's salt production and the key to deep water navigation. So, Nope!
>>44247505
Being the size of Luxemburg is still a go though! As is elven protection.
>>44247725
It's mostly surrounded by large inland salt water seas, and would be mistaken for a patch of fog from the outside. Some of the outlying territories are island based.
>>44247766
Contradictory. The city is on a bunch of giant dragons.
Because of the supposed medicinal qualities of the fog, it is common to see people, especially on milder days, bathing in it outside.
It is sometimes sold outside the kingdom in bottles and vials, and is sometimes used outside the kingdom as a recipe in drinks. At the moment, the kingdom is dominated by fog purists who only bathe / inhale the fog as a vapour.
>>44247766
>>44247777
Also contradicts the upstream salt source wastelands in the middle of the continent.>>44247280
>>44247725
I call bullshit. The king can make dragons bend to his will.
>>44247786
The health promoting qualities of the fog and the pleasant climate most of the year have lead to the society taking a decidedly optional approach to clothing.
>>44247801
>>44247786
It can be on a dragon, in the salt lands, in between two inland seas.
>>44247827
>in the salt lands
I think you mean 'downstream of the Salt lands'.
>>44247637
These basin areas can be hazardous. Salt-caked commoners will sometimes crawl out from the water, delirious and dangerously prophetic. They occasionally turn violent, and are startlingly difficult to put down due to their ability to see attacks long before they come.
>>44247812
The inhabitants of the kingdom are a violent lot who start civil wars whenever a dispute gains public attention, such as the aforementioned fiddle vs flute incident. Incessant civil strife has crippled the kingdom, and the mighty Corgi King has hands full merely keeping it together.
With his marriage to the Fae Queen, the King welcomed all Fae into the Kingdom, increasing the population and starting an economic boom.
>>44247786
It's popular recently in the upper classes to forego standard bathing for a fog bath, and it actually works too. This practice stems from a much more basic tradition by the proletariat.
>>44247837
Was it?
>>44247866
This caused resentment towards the king's rule among the racist pig-people.
Every so often, someone is arrested for a crime they haven't committed yet.
>>44247904
Yes, the Salt wastes are upstream of the kingdom full of Salty tear waterfalls. no-one lives in the salt wastes as there's no fresh water to support settlement.
The Kingdom is famous for its smoothies.
>>44248025
Oh, I think we need a map.
>>44248075
Agreed
>>44248075
It'll be hard to draw a map when the kingdom is spread across multiple flying dragons.
The "dragons" conquered by the king are what the small plateau the majority of his kingdom is based on is colloquially referred to as. Due to the billowing fog, legend has it the land itself is a dragon exhaling.
>>44248098
Working on it now.
>>44248108
No one said they were flying. They could be hibernating beneath the earth.
>>44248148
Weird, i had an image of it being a landmass of dead dragons, preserved by the salts.
>>44248148
But that's less fun, isn't it?
>>44248181
That's good, I like that.
>>44248187
They can't be flying because the Kingdom has neighboring states. If it was flying around, it wouldn't have such geographical boundaries.
>>44247089
>wizards wear glasses and have excellent glutes
homebrewed setting when?
The inhabitants are all the fantasy equivalant of /k and hoard waepons and ammo for personal defense and fun.
>>44247844
This is great.
>>44247979
And works with this somehow.
The most popular form of entertainment among the common folk is circus strongmen juggling midgets, to vaudeville-style music.
>>44248245
'Midget' tend to actually be the halflings that inhabit much of the kingdom. Skilled performers will actually juggle such volunteers from the audience.
>>44248181
This was similar to my image. The protective draconic magic emanated from the fossilizing bones that are embedded in the castles walls.
Except for that ceremonial reanimated one that operates the adventurer flinging catapult.
>>44248227
Whether or not it's really on dragons or if it's just a legend it a matter of debate in scholarly circles.
This lead to the mostly forgotten "War of Buckingham Street" between two book clubs over sixty years ago.
The local currency is bones.
>>44248260
This could work with>>44248239
To make some cool stunts.
>>44248239
That's why the gunsmiths guild is so prolific.
>>44248306
Except everyone poorfags their way to an arsenal and extra ammo
>>44248285
The "war" is now remembered through folk music.
>>44248331
There's a black market of illegally mined weapons grade salt, undercutting the monopolistic guild fees.
sandwiches are considered a main meal, usually eaten in the middle of the week. No one remembers why the convention started, but it is considered bad form to serve a guest a sandwich at the end of the week, or for breakfast. Popular fillings include chicken and pumpkin, and sea-bass and carrot. Fillings tend to be thinly sliced meats and vegetables, in alternating layers. Quality is rate on how fine the slices are and how many varieties of meat there are; it is said that the very wealthiest nobles have sandwiches with over ten different layers of meat, all from different animals, sliced until they are no thicker than the edge of the knife that carved them.
>>44248339
In fact, the recurring civil wars have given birth to an incredible variety of war-based folk music through which the people remember the dozens of wars which have happened during the illustrious reign of King Alberto. The performance of these songs is one of the kingdom's primary forms of public entertainment and one is not considered cultured unless one can recite a few of them.
King Alberto is actually just a normal dog.
>>44248364
>sliced until they are no thicker than the edge of the knife that carved them.
This has lead to fierce competition betwixt kniferies to produce ever thinner and sharper knives. In fact the sharpest knives, capable of producing near transparent slices, are so susceptible to buckling that it's impossible to stab someone with their tips.
>>44246844
Anon, what the fuck
It's not uncommon to hear cries of "salt preserve us" when bad news is delivered.
>>44248406The queen who gives him 'walkies' actually rules through this as a puppet and is the lesbian lover of the allegedly immortality granting elf patron. Queen has achieved immortality via lichdom and masquerades via powerful illusion magic as being still alive. She breeds new 'kings' in secret and the kingdom is actually on its 21st 'albert'
There are people in the kingdom who believe that the Fae Queen came up with the immortal corgi transformation story to legitimize usurpation of the Kingdom, and that the real Alberto Barbossa has been dead for centuries. Such thoughts are generally kept secret, however, as the Royal Inquisition is constantly on the look-out for traitors.
>>44248416
Recently, the sword makers guild has been absorbed into the knife makers guild.
>>44248442
Very well played, sir!
>>44248460All according to plan.
>>44248245
The most popular form of entertainment among the nobility is a kind of pornographic theatre. The trend started when gladiatorial combat, previously the main form of diversion for nobles was banned, and some wit decided that as he was no longer able to end life for entertainment, he would try creating it instead. The earliest examples were simply hired prostitutes mock-sparring with out-of-work gladiators, but as the 'sport' caught on it evolved into a branch of theatre, with complicated plots and professional actors - although the sex is still very much real. The best professional actresses command huge fees per performance, since they spend much of their working lives indisposed through pregnancy. It has become so accepted and mainstream that now even women and children are permitted to watch.
Fog manipulating wisp witches are said to dwell in the salt wastes in mobile houses with the legs of assorted animals. The modern day witches guild is said to be the ancestor of a faction of these who allied themselves with the kingdom.
>>44248406
That's what I assumed from the start
>>44248528
Of course women are able to watch, they're the main patrons. It's a completely platonic art.
>>44248460
No.
It's already been declared that King Dog is immortal.
>>44248528
A fiddle is played to signify when those who don't wish to see it can leave.
>>44248560
Yes, that's generally what people believe.
>>44248528
The children that result from this theater are raised communally and indoctrinated to form an elite corps of utterly loyal soldiers who form the royal guard and the personal guard of the aristocracy.
All the dogs in the Kingdom are extremely intelligent. This happened when the Fae moved in.
>>44248528
aligns well with this trend in society.
>>44247820
>decidedly optional approach to clothing.
Looks like the realm is quite magical.
How does it deal with the exigencies of STI's?
>>44246362
>oh that looks cool
>google search
>Fable
>mfw
>>44248585
Their intelligence manifests in over 200 distinct and recorded forms of barking.
Near the higher levels of the Kingdom, there is a moor.
With the mages guild practicing time magic, general education is common, and alchemy is part of the curriculm.
Even the children can create first level potions, smoke sticks, and "irritants "
>>44248585
Just like most other people, the dogs aren't averse to participating in civil war.
>>44248589
>How does it deal with the exigencies of STI's?
There is a 'look but don't touch' attitude to sexuality outside the strict confines of marriage
>>44248589
This is common among the lower classes; in high society elaborate and more conservative fashions are cultivated with a focus on comfortable and breathable fabrics.
>>44247607
We probably need a new summary before too many more posts are added.
>>44248528
This was a great setting until you went and made it A Magic Realm.
Is anyone keeping track of this shit?
OP ye collosal sized faggot, where be ye?
>>44248655
My brain is.
So, who wants to run a game?
towers are built across each city, and indeed in every town and village, for the collection of rainwater. The gutters of every roof in the vicinity feed into the tower, rather than draining into the street. The towers are used as both a source of fresh water, sometimes, as motive power for water wheels in mills or other such enterprises.
>>44248668
You should. When it starts to auto-sage archive it and use it as the basis for a series of quest threads.
The kingdom's huge interest in salt, nudity and mist has led to great popularity of saunas.
>>44248550
depending on whether the male lead is playing a hero or an anti-hero the tune will either be upbeat or melancholy
>>44248676
Works well with fresh water being scarce 'cause all rivers are salty. Tower is a bit of a misnomer as they're usually wider than tall and are more like enormous cisterns. Also, usually attached to the salt processing plants as part of the capital of each nobles fiefdom.
>>44248680
Oh boy.
>>44248653
It was always A Magical Realm.
>>44248693
oops, meant for
>>44248565
>>44248653
in my defence, I also balanced my contribution with sandwiches and midgets
>>44248364
>>44248245
>>44248720
I guess you are right. We have fairies fucking dogs.
The Fae queen gave birth to a healthy litter of were corgis. These little pups are the pride of the Kingdom
>>44247820
Apart from the mandatory striped hats?
Topkek
>>44248752
Why would an immortal ruler want children? They'll probably try to murder him once they get tired of waiting for an inheritance that's never coming.
>>44248777It's all an illusion.
>>44248777
Loyal generals?
>>44248788I find your lack of faith in our eternal Corgi King disturbing, traitor.
>>44248800
I have seen it through the salt.
>>44248766
Hats are accessories, not clothing. Duh!
>>44248462
The Royal Inquisition employs a variety of salt-based torture techniques.
>>44248777
Because the Fae queen wanted kids and he just couldn't say no to that face.
Besides, they are immortal to so they can go about and make their own kingdom. Maybe one that's less... I don't know. Bat shit insane?
>>44248830
>Besides, they are immortal to so they can go about and make their own kingdom.
Immortality is a heritable trait?
No wonder there's so many civil wars, we gotta stop over population some how.
>>44248826
There is a secret complex deep under the city where dozens of prisoners in salt comas are surgically connected to a neural network and used to peer into the future.
>>44248873
For some reason, it's never predicted the events correctly.
>>44248859
Only for the Royal family.
But since sex is a national past time you are right.
How about the King put in place a population control where in the second national past time is War between cities.
Each city has its own army and once a year they need on a battlefield and fight until only one side remains.
>>44248873
Is this a royal secret for how ourlichqueen maintains power to out predict the multitude of lesser seers, or a network that lesser seers tap into.
Or, university research project that's analogous to SETI or some such?
>>44248884
Nevertheless, the kingdom continues to base important decisions on the salt prophecies, trusting that salt will preserve the nation as it preserves all else.
>>44248891
Lich queen not canon.
>>44248891
>>44248884
Also, of course thelich]queen never share's correct prophesies.
>>44248888
We already have civil wars starting over every minor dispute, so that hardly seems necessary.
How's this for a map?
>>44248904
Says where? What precdedent contradicts her lichdom?
>>44248917
Yes but this way instead of fighting in the streets and causing damage to buildings, they are fighting out in fields where it's much more safe.
And we can merchandise all the cities teams for a profit!
>>44248891
It's not a secret, but it is on a need-to-know basis. There is a public network that lesser seers can access, which is provided by the government. These may be one and the same. Certain influential guilds are involved in the project, but as of late it's seen a decline in funding in favor of more lucrative programs.
>>44248917
Actually mandated to organize the civil wars and collate the outcomes. Disorganised the got to be too much, so annual event by general agreement. Usually precedes the gold fog festival.
>>44248923
Needs more waterfalls with provincial fife capitals marked.
>>44247380
This is what Kings propaganda wing tells its citizens.
In fact, the kingdom is suffering a severe drought (as in more severe than normal) and its coffers are nearly empty from the extrvigant banquets that take place in the capital city. It survives due to loans from the banking gnomes, who charge 15% interest that can be paid for either in gold or alternatively in, you guessed it, water.
Because of this, most people resort to drinking their own urine/wearing clothes that catch sweat which they desalinate later. Also due to this, all the gnomes have been expelled from the kingdom except in the capital city, where they're under the Kings protection.
>>44248888
I think the sex thing is getting out of hand.
>>44248973
What do you expect when you ask a bunch of sex-starved nerds to design a kingdom?
>>44248973
Of course it gets out of and into mouths, anuses, ear canals, vaginas ...
>>44248993
You mean you haven't subtly inserted your magical realm in an unnoticeable fashion?
>>44248973
I agree. This whole this has decended into Magic Realm and everyone is fine with it.
>>44248967
>Because of this, most people resort to drinking their own urine/wearing clothes that catch sweat which they desalinate later...
Nope, contradicts>>44247820
>optional approach to clothing.
Summary part 1:
>>44247607
Summary continued:
The salt (also know as just Salt) is known to cause prophetic hallucinations. The closer one is to the ocean, the stronger the vision. In a place heavy enough with salt in the fog can actually project dreams. The fog's supposed health benefits, people often take bathe outdoors in foggy areas. Salt witches are said to be able to manipulate the fog, and the magic university's time magic is related to the prophetic nature of salt-visions. The Salt is also favored by bounty hunters as a weapon, as it makes victims easy to handle.
The kingdom is build upon bested dragons that are preserved in the salt beneath the ground (whether the dragons ever actually existed, only those as long lived as the king know for sure), between two inland seas. Upstream from the waterfalls lies the Salt Wastes. Fresh water being more scarce, a system of towers is built throughout villages to collect rainwater.
Recurring civil wars (some of these "wars" encompass only a single city street or even just between dogs) have given birth to a unrivaled library of war-epic folk songs. The public performance of these songs is a primary form of entertainment, along with halfling circuses.
There is much social ritual around sandwiches, including when they can be eaten, how they are served, and even conditions under which it is considered rude to offer one to a guest. Nobles are said to eat sandwiches with ten layers cut no thicker than the knife that carved them.
Upon marrying the fae queen, the king welcomed all fae into the kingdom. The pig people don't like the fae much (or anyone really, they're very xenophobic). The fae also granted humanoid intelligence to dogs, though they still only know how to bark (200 different distinct dialects of barking).
>>44249053
What this guy types up is the official canon. Since he's the only one that took the time to sort it all out
>>44249039
So, Justice system and Salt? Is the justice a Salt Adept who divines the outcome of sentencing before the trial and manipulates the whole spectacle for the best benefit of society?
>>44246362
A human kingdom exists to the south that's been the Kingdoms only real ally for generations. The kingdom rules over various desert/jungle tribes, the leader being the benevolent Mansa Wewuz.
During the civil war, half of the population went to the Southern kingdom to escape the war. Today, many younger people still leave to escape all the crazyness.
>>44249127
Only so far as it complies with OP's non-contradiction principle.
>>44249155
Contradicted, they're allies with the elves
>>44249155
>A human kingdom exists to the south that's been the Kingdoms only real ally for generations.
Contradicts Elven protection >>44247725
>Unless the elves are not really 'allies' but subjugators and the humans to the south are supporting an underground rebellion to impose a constitution on the monarchy?
>prote
>>44249198
They can't be allies with both?
>>44249053
Lichspiracy:The king is actually a puppet, the true power behind the throne being his queen. She has achieved immortality via lichdom and masquerades with powerful illusion magic as being still alive. The fae queen is her lover. She breeds new 'kings' in secret and the kingdom is actually on its 21st 'Albert'. This has lead to the public perception that the king is a shapeshifter of breeds.The royal inquisition operates a clandestine aethernet of salt dreamers deep under the city, which the lich queen uses to peer into the false future.
>>44249213
Yes, but anon said 'only ... ally'.
>>44249213
>only real ally for generations
>>44249151
That would be extralegal, and against the strict corpus of legal codes that have built up over the centuries, which is overseen by the archmagistrate. Salt has no place in a courtroom.
Which doesn't mean it doesn't happen.
>>44249227
Contradicts that the King is a knight who was granted immortality as a corgi. Contradicts that the queen is a living being who gave birth to children.
>>44249227
No.
King dog is our one true and only ruler.
>>44249289
In the name of the queen, you shall be rewarded for your piety, peasant!
>>44249287
That was addressed, if you'd read the thread.
>>44249289
You keep believing that.
The Humans on this world are Actually Colonists that arrived Hundreds of years ago from earth but all there shit broke.
A what was once Human fleet watches the world with great interest occasionally, acquiring magic talking dogs and elves.
Elven leaders are holding a conclave to try and figure out the root cause of the Missing elves. The Dog king is Invited.
>>44249270
Excellent use of the fact that I phrased it as a question. Good Choice Anon!
>>44249313
You addressed it by saying "That is what people believe", which is the equivalent of "no u" and in so doing undermined canon. Why not make your shitty idea something people "believe" while the established canon remains canon?
>>44249313
Having this stupid Lich queen thing sucks all the fun and silliness out of the setting. The King is a Corgi
The Queen is a Fae who gave birth to were Corgis.
Just leave it at that. There's no need to muck it all up by vomiting 'JUST AS PLANNED' all over the place.
>>44249324
And who's the one who'll be walking him, huh? It's the queen! It's always the queen! You can't silence the truth!
>>44249340
It kills the joke if the dog king, who is constantly appearing as separate dogs, because he is allegedly immortal, and can only bark, is actually intelligent.
>>44249348
Nuthin' said the king ain't a Corgi, it's just he's a puppet for his Lich-queen, that's all.
King=doge is just lol-randumb bs that the Lich-queen rationalizes. The Queen is the fix.
There is a whole underground part of the Kingdom where the Drow come from. They say they came because a venerial disease wiped out everyone that lived underground. Because of the promiscuous nature of the citizenry, the king has decreed that all the caves in the kingdom have increasingly large boulders rolled over them.
>>44249380
He isn't 'allegedly immortal'
He IS immortal. It was established. You can't go and change the lore just by saying 'BUT IT WAS ALL A RUSE'
It makes you look like an ass hole trying to usurp the Canon for them selves.
See? The first civil war is starting already.
>>44249422
The king=corgi is the only interesting idea. Lich Queen is generic and boring and violates the only rule we have.
>>44249443
#TeamQueen
>>44249422
So basically
'That idea is dumb were using mine now'
Get the fuck out.
Perhaps the lichspiracy is like the illuminati, only wackos and salt addicts believe it.
>>44249438
A few things changed over the course of the thread, and it's more rich for that. This was worked out over multiple posts by multiple people, and each interpretation still has a place.
The land went from being on dragons, to being on sedentary dragons, to maybe being on dragons.
It's all just made up.
>>44249352
The queen and King are abducted along with a few of the elves at the conclave by the space Humans the Kingdom is now in a panic.
The pig People Blame the Fae for the Kings Disappearance and Rioting breaks out between the two factions.
Updated Map
>>44249495
>>44249483
Two days later, they appear back as if nothing had happened.
>>44248626
Somehow, Pomeranians ruled over dog society for a solid 100 years, even in the wake of several civil wars.
>>44249480
I already tried making it merely a theory in the universe, but apparently this guy wants everyone to adopt his idea only. >>44248462
>>44249513
But really the queen and King had been replaced with Robots with a hidden agenda.
>>44249515
Until the One True Corgi King overthrew the Pomeranian overlords and established an equal opportunity dog society
>>44249520
I don't see anything in the post you quoted that's been contradicted.
For all intents and purposes, it is a conspiracy theory.
Everyone seems prettysalty.
>>44249532
"Robot" is the word in their language for "Fae automaton."
The Pigmen were right, its all a Fae conspiracy,
>>44247062
But truth be told, they (both the males and females) rather like being impaled, and are mum on the subject of who is doing the impaling during any given relationship.
>>44248460
The Queen is a little old lady who does walkies
The Queen granted immortality
The Queen turned the king into a doge
The Queen is Fae
The Queen is a Lich who pretends to be alive
None of this queen-lore is actually contradictory. The Queen is a Lich who was originally born Fae.
All the towns gaurds are armed with pick related, mind you a thats a 4 bore shotty.
Power Man came to the kingdom and obliterated everything, leaving nothing to add onto and making it impossible to replace anything.
>>44249482
It seems a majority disagree with Lich Queen. So arguing is pointless.
>>44249654
It all comes together.
>>44249654
>The Queen gave birth to live children
>The Queen is an undead abomination
Those seem contradictory.
>>44249694
She is a master of illusion magic.
Pigmen attack Fae in the street, a Civil war brews
>>44249694
Yeah you would think that would be the nail on the head to this Lich Queen bullshit but it'll just come back that the children WERE ALL A RUSE.
JUST AS PLANNED.
What ever. Put it to a vote
All in favor of Lich queen say dicks.
>>44249500
Nice!
>>44249694
It was quite clearly a 'don't ask about the details' situation >>44247122
