The story so far:
You are Anon. Until yesterday you were a kissless virgin NEET, living with his mum and dad and contributing nothing to society. Today you are a regular virgin NEET, still living with his mum and dad, and still contributing nothing to society.
BUT yesterday your life took a surprising turn: your parents set up a blind date for you, with none other than ‘This Morning’ presenter and certified semen demon Holly Willoughby.
After some initial spaghetti-spilling and a small argument with Holly’s co-presenter, Supreme Orbiter Schofield, the dinner went well. Filled with liquid courage, you successfully charmed Holly enough that she agreed to prolong the date in the pub. Unbeknownst to you, Phillip Schofield, dejected that the love of his life was seeing another man, had gone to that very same drinking establishment to drown his sorrows.
When you saw Phil in this state, Holly laughed at him, loudly enough he awoke from his drunken stupor and was sent into a rage. He charged at you in an attempt to glass you, and after you failed to trip him, he succeeded in doing so. Despite being wounded, you managed to trip him on the second attempt, then reduced him to tears by telling him how much of a beta he was. Lots of people documented the drunken, weeping tv presenter and it inevitably ended up on social media. You left for Holly’s so she could look at your wounded back, while the barman was trying to evict Schofield.
Holly nursed your back to good health and the two of you even shared a kiss, but nothing more happened before you went to sleep. When you woke up, she had gone to work, but had left a note saying how much she enjoyed the first date and was keen for another.
Meanwhile Schofield awoke in an alley behind the pub…
>>44224576
You’re in Holly’s house still from the night before, you’re a NEET so you don’t have any job to go to today; you should probably get out of Holly’s house before lunchtime though.
You go downstairs, make yourself some toast and coffee, switch on ITV, and there she is: Holly, as lovely as ever. “Once again, we apologise that Phil can’t be with us on this program; he’s had an unexpected personal tragedy so will be taking some time off.” Huh. You think you know what that means. You finish up breakfast and decide you should get going about your day.
You have the day ahead of you, do you want to:
>Go and get your back properly seen to by a nurse.
>Go home and doss about.
>Go back inside Holly’s house to [you tell me].
>Try and get into a bit better shape.
>Your own suggestion.
>>44224581
I think we need to go to a nurse, otherwise we might get infected and die just before we knob Holly.
>>44224576
tl;dr
>>44224609
I'll roll with the most popular option after a few minutes each time, brother.
>>44224609
You leave Holly's house behind you and decide to walk across town to the doctor's surgery, in the hopes of being seen by the on-call nurse.
After only an hour's wait (t's a quiet day) you are called in to the nurse's room. Themalenurse takes a look on your back and it's at less appealing than when Holly did it, but at least disinfects the wound properly and gives it a new dressing.
"You've been quite lucky - it's only a superficial wound, so you should be right as rain within a few days."
Still, you're grateful to have that cleared up.
It's not just gone noon. What do you do?
>Go home and doss about.
>Go back to Holly's [you tell me]
>Go into town and spend the last of this week's neetbux on [you tell me]
>Your own suggestion
You have £47 and are due to receive more in 3 days.
>>44224676
Go back to Holly's place and prepare a suprise romantic dinner for when she gets home. Lets get lucky, eh?
>>44224676
go home and doss about
>>44224676
Go home and doss about
Did we get her number?
>>44224676
Go home and doss about, don't wanna seem too desperate. She needs to think we have a life.
>>44224739
Nah, mate. You were too caught up getting a fucking glassing from Schocone.
>>44224716
>>44224721
>>44224742
It's not too long a walk from the doctor's; you decide you might as well just spend the afternoon dossing about at home.
You get back to an empty house; both you're parents are at work.
How do you want to spend the next few hours:
>Shitposting
>Jerking off
>Learning something off the internet [you tell me what]
>Your own suggestion.
>>44224770
Shitposting
>>44224770
Learning french, to impress her. I bet she loves french.
>>44224770
shitposting.
>>44224791
seconded
>>44224784
>>44224804
You're not sure why, but you decide it's a great ides to spend the afternoon shitposting. As far as you're aware, you receive absolutely no benefit from doing this.
You do see that, as you predicted, Phillip Schofield's pub meltdown is now plastered across all corners of the internet. There's even been an autotuned remix of his beta wailings made.
You also try and learn a little bit of French in an attempt to impress Holly. You've only got the afternoon, but you do manage to pick up a few very basic phrases.
6 rolls around and your mum - who somehow set up last night's date - gets back from work. She tells she received a call this afternoon from the mutual friend who arranged for you to meet Holly: apparently Holly has now given your mum her number so it can be passed on.
Do you:
>want to ring her now and see if she's free tonight
>want to leave it till tomorrow and have another day to do other things
>your suggestion
Third for learning french.
>>44224882
Leave it till tomorrow and have another day to do things
So do her husband Dan and their three children just not exist in this timeline, or are the paparazzi somehow not noticing that Holly, a celebrity and married mother of three, is hanging out with creepy neets in pubs?
>>44224923
>So do her husband Dan and their three children just not exist in this timeline
Correct.
ring today for date tomorrow.
Rolled 6 (1d20)
>>44224902
You decide not to ring Holly tonight - you don't want to come across as too desperate and put her off, besides, it wouldn't hurt to prepare a bit more for next time you see her.
As you go to bed, you glance out of the window...
>>44224954
.... and don't see anything out of the ordinary.
It's the morning, around 9am.
What do you want to do.
>Stay at home and [...]
>Go into town and [...]
>Your own suggestion
>>44224967
Stay at home and do nothing
We need to ask holly "voullez vous coucher avec moi ce soir" later, please remember this as an option
>>44224996
You got it, champ.
>>44224967
Go into town and buy chocolates to give to holly the next time we meet her
>>44224967
Stay at home and attempt suicide
>>44225005
second for this.
>>44225005
I second this
>>44225006
I second this
>>44225006
This
>>44225006
Voting for suicide, end this shitty game
>>44225005
Buy her Milky Way Crispy Rolls
>>44225005
Box of quality street
>>44225177
This but take all of the toffee coins first.
Dungeon master you fucking normie get back here
>>44225360
>Dungeon master
Quest Master
