I saw this thread earlier this week, and I got bummed when it closed before I could finish reading it all.
Here's how the game works:
Name a mundane, everyday object. The person below you gives it a curse, enchantment, or otherwise magical effect. Then they name another object.
I'll start.
>A comb
>>44216704
Hair gone through with this comb becomes soft and silky, but after a day or two begins to fall out in patches.
>A tupperware container
>>44216704
this picture reminds me of that samurai jack game on cartoon network website in which you could unlock new weapons by putting i ncodes
>>44216755
Organic inside this tupperware will last forever. But if you ever leave the lid and body out of your sight for any amount of time one of the two pieces will go missing.
>A mason jar full of brown sugar.
>>44216790
Endless jar of brown sugar (highly pressurized)
>>44216790
The mason jar is, by definition, always full of brown sugar, no matter how much is removed.
>A length of string
>>44216830
derp forgot to put a new object
>paper plate
>>44216835
When tied around a finger, the person will remember the exact events that transpired in the room, but when taken off they immediately forget.
>a manila folder
>>44216790
so, just a regular piece of tubberware then
>>44216845
This plate automatically heat up anything you place on it, including your hand.
>A minecraft wall poster
>>44216882
Opening the folder always reveals a "case file" on the subject matter written on the cover. Closing the folder erases the cover. Unfortunately the more general the subject, the more useless information needs to be sorted through.
>>44216790
Any small grain-like material (such as salt, sand, etc) placed in the jar will turn into brown sugar when the lid is sealed closed. This brown sugar has no magical effect and is safe to eat, as it is in fact the jar which is magical.
>>44216835
When using this length of string to bind two objects together they will not come apart until the knot is manually undone by a human being. No matter the weight or force pulling the two objects apart the string will not break, and the knot will never loosen or come undone on it's own.
>>44216845
This paper plate, will always wipe or wash clean even if the food mess would usually stain it. A quick wipe with a wet cloth will easily remove all dirt on the plate.I'm gonna stop trying now, I'm too slow to keep up with the thread.
>A metal non-screwtop bottle cap.
>>44216922
*coughs* A set of d4's *coughs*
>>44216945
Always rolls a combined total of 4
>>44216921
The poster, when held, increases your carrying ability to that of Steve's
>An icosahedron
>>44217005
>mfw it's a set of 5
>>44217005
Baneblade model kit
>>44217088
>Holds poster in one hand
>Holds 3 Eiffel towers in the other
>>44217208
Hell yeah son, my players would kill for that sort of power.
>>44216943
I think you misunderstood how this works. You just do the one before you.
>A metal non-screwtop bottle cap.
When sealed in an opaque bag, it will gradually fill with assorted coinages from across history.
>A corset
>>44217486
removes the necessity of breathing
>a foot long spoon
>>44217579
Well that's down right counter-intuitive... but useful.
All food eaten with the spoon tastes magnificent, as if it was expertly prepared by a 5 star chef. Even if it isn't technically edible. This does not prevent sickness from tainted food, the food just doesn't taste tainted.
>A polka dot umbrella.
>>44217639
Inside the umbrella is a portal to he'll, or more specifically, atiny cropping if land on he that the umbrella's owner owns, long with any demons that wander in.l
>>44217639
The polka dots on the umbrella are actually small portals that are randomly connected to each other. Anything that falls into one will shoot out of another random dot with the same velocity with which it entered.
>A beard brush
>>44217639
It's a hungry-ass umbrella.
>a DVD of every Filthy Frank video ever made and to be made
>>44217147
Once modeled and painted, it rapidly expands to the size of an actual Baneblade, complete with crew and is fully stocked with fuel and ammo.
A plastic bag filled with hard boiled eggs, still warm.
>>44217750
The eggs operate in a reverse thermal equilibrium, cooling everything around them to maintain their temperature.
>Some cheap plastic beads
>>44217720
Brush downward to make your beard grow thicker and fuller, brush upward to have your beard hairs shrink back into stubble.
>A can of "whipped topping"
>>44217113
Simple. One of them always rolls off the table and goes missing until just after you give up on looking for it.
>>44217858
It turns out that the "lighter-than-air" advertisements are literally true. The whipped topping floats gently in the air, never really settling down on anything you might want it to be topping.
>A leaky garden hose
>>44218051
It will continue to leak even when not attached to anything, providing a continuous source of a small amount of water.
>an empty soda can
>>44218099
Anything non-gaseous put into the soda can for any amount of time ceases to exist, thus leaving it relatively empty forever.
>A he-man action figure
>>44218129
Is actually a woman. Will be very upset if ever animated.
>A pen that's out of ink
>>44218576
Whatever you manage to put into the pen as ink and can write with and label something as, that something will turn into whatever your ink is.
Powder up gold and mix it with water, write a label that says 'gold,' and label a brick with it. Now you have a gold brick. Put some blood in there, label a bottle 'blood,' and you have a bottle of blood.
>A wheat penny
>>44218576
A single drop of any liquid on the bottom allows you to write with the pen as if it was filled with the liquid in question for an hour.
> A mercury thermometer stuck at 70 degrees.
>>44219143
Heats or cools the entirety of anything it's put in to exactly 70 degrees. caution: may be lethal
>>44219133
When baked in an oven, will bake into a perfect loaf of bread, with a slightly coppery tinge to it.
>>44221623
forgot the item
> A glass necklace
>>44221633
Wearing the necklace slowly over time turns your bones into glass, making the wearer gradually frailer until they break with light blows.
>A bicycle chain
>>44221834
When used to beat down a rival gang member your notoriety amongst your own gang increases.
>A shank.
>>44221910
It can't... cut... ANYTHING!
It's USELESS as a weapon because it just PHASES through everything!
>Shower curtain
>>44221964
When worn as a cloak others treat it as such.
>a whisk
>>44221991
Cooking with the whisk makes the ingredients the perfect mixture for the task used. Actual cooking skill will determine the overall quality, but damn if it doesn't make the fluffiest mixes
>>44222014
Forgot my item
>A keychain
>>44221910
It is a blade bestowed upon a heinous criminal, it is cursed to draw its bearer towards other evil criminals, compelling the wielder to stab them.
It has no effect on non-evil or non-criminals.
>a barbell
>>44222014
Fuck i need this in my life.
>>44222058
Always at 70% optimized weight for warms and optimized weigh for normal lifting.
Side feature: it racks itself and never gets lost in the gym.
Protein shakes not included.
>a 12 ton rock
>>44222116
Has a plaque on it that tells its weight; if you change the weight on the plaque, it changes the weight of the rock, but not the size.
>A laser pointer with the starscape lens stuck on it.
>>44222137
Allows a Seer to read the stars at any time of day, but has no indicator of what season or year the starscape is from.
>>44217729
It gives you autism
>toothbrush
>>44222176
Fuck, I also forgot the next item.
>A bright blue gem that you can see a reflection in, but not your own.
>>44222137
When used in pitch darkness each point of light will target all retina's in the room, including the wielders.
>A boot full of soup
>>44222194
Thats not a mundane object then.
>>44222189
It gives you periodontitis.
>a used kitchen sponge
>>44222230
Fair, my bad.
>A white t-shirt
>>44222243
It gives you e. coli, and a bunch of other infections if you use it for anything other than washing dishes.
>A knife handle that has a very obvious spot where the blade was broken off
>>44222266
the shirt never stains no matter what you do but bleach it and it turns black.
>a rusty fish scaler
>>44222272
The knife handle somehow functions as a pen using the owners blood for ink.
>a shattered china plate
>>44222326
>>a shattered china plate
once per day you must pass a will check or be compelled to eat your next meal off of it, ingesting shards of the plate in the process. this action is always fatal with no saving throw.
>>44222326
When you piece it together and then blink, the moment you aren't looking at it, it fills with well cooked rice. The plate stays together until the rice has been eaten up and then breaks again.
>a set of collar and leash
>>44216704
>I saw this thread earlier this week, and I got bummed when it closed before I could finish reading it all.
Was it >>44172416 by any chance?
Look up http://boards.4chan.org/tg/archive for threads up to a week old. Ctrl-f "magical item" or whatever you're trying to find to find the thread you're looking for.
>>44222272
The knife handle has a small gap where the blade snapped off, the tang is visible inside the gap, anything wedged into this gap will become roughly as sharp as a Japanese chef's knife, it will retain all other properties including hardness, when removed from the handle the object will not retain the sharpness.
>a wine bottle
>>44224433
The bottle remains fully no matter what but doesn't actually pour any liquid. Any attempt to get the liquid out will yield nothing but air.
>a lampshade
>>44224529
>Lampshade of Festivities
Once worn, the wearer and all entities around it - living or otherwise - must pass a DC15 Will Save or be forced to party for 3d6 hours. The lampshade cannot be removed while its effects are in place. After the party is over, all creatures involved must pass a DC15 check or be rendered unconscious for 1d4+2 hours from exhaustion. Taking damage breaks the trance.
>Brush
>>44224797
>brush
When used in combination with a crryain pendant it allows one to change his or her appearance completely. Removing the pendant will revert to your original.
>a sponge
>>44224797
The brush makes any hair brushed with it over 100 times to exhibit an amazing luster. Any females or homosexual males must pass a DC18 Will save or have all attention immediately drawn for 3d4 hours and be, like, super jealous. Creatures under this effect Squee in a 50/ft area. All creatures in the area must roll DC15 Fort save or suffer 5d20 sonic damage and suffer permanent Deafness.
>A spork.
>>44224832
When put inside a pineapple and submerged in sea water the sponge Awakens and becomes rectangular. The sponge then becomes your permanent familiar.
>a rabid squirrel.
>>44216704
That first thread was archived:
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?searchall=Modern+Day+Magical+Items
>>44224884
The spork is crafted from a durable silvery metal but appears to be slightly tarnished with age. When held in hand, it will act like a dowsing rod and guide its wielder toward the nearest place at which they will be able to find a free meal.
>A well-loved old comic book featuring a film noir detective in the cover
>>44225138
If read repetitively the reader will find his personality and thoughts flowing more along the lines of the comics protagonist. After enough reading the original mind will be entirely subverted.
>a bow
>>44225173
Arrows shot from it turn into a splash of paint as soon as they hit anything.
>A car bumper
>>44225214
Installed on a vehicle that it properly fits, it will completely destroy any object that the vehicle runs into at a speed greater than 10mph. Note that the vehicle and bumper will suffer damage as normal.
> A roll of scotch tape.
>>44225236
When attached to two separate and animate objects, will bind their thoughts and dreams as both sharing the same space.
A Sharpie
>>44225247
A message written with this sharpie carries an unusual weight and persuasiveness, as long as it is 6 or less words short.
>A plastic cup
>
>>44225445
When water is poured into the cup it turns into liquid nitroglycerin
>a AA battery
>>44225445
It is magically insulated, allowing you to drink hot coffee and soup from it without it burning your hand, and you can put it over a fire or in a microwave to warm things without it melting and you can still hold it afterward.
>A generic device charger
>>44225478
charges with flesh on the living (undead will drain energy) and draw correct amount of power for device, cord is 1ft long.
>key
>>44225478
When plugged into a generic device sans outlet it will charge the device indefinitely. When plugged into a device while connected to an outlet or into a "non-generic" device the entire structure attached to the outlet will explode with a yield comparable to its weight in TNT. Debate on what constitutes a "non-generic" device rages on.
>>44225236
Roll number six hundred and sixty six produced by the Scotch company, a satanist working on the production line cursed this roll of tape to be the devil's cruelest joke.
Anything bound with the entire roll of tape will remain bound for all eternity, unless an act of god removes the tape.
people who use the tape as a normal roll or tape will not find anything strange about it unless they accidentally invoke its insane by curse by using the entire remaining roll.
>a business card
>>44226514
Oops. A screwdriver.
>>44225475
When put into a device that runs on AA's its performance is increased tenfol. Lights shine brighter, controllers last longer, massage wands vibrate faster. This increase is borrowed collectively from nearby objects however. Swords become duller, tv's dimmer, chairs wobblier.
>a crowbar.
>>44226463
Profanities scratched into a car with this key will change the car owners personality to fit those profanities.
>>44226928
I keep dropping the fucking ball everytime.
>a pint glass
>>44226696
The crowbar appears normal at first, but if held for a long enough time it will attract crows that will perch on it. After some amount of time, the crows will produce small steins full of mead and will caw in revelry.
>a cigar
>>44227032
The cigar is powerfully enchanted. When smoked, time seems to contract and a lovely evening soon rolls around, the mood becomes genial and everyone finds the smell of the smoke atmospheric and not at all bothering. A ligth rain patters, but there is always shelter nearby.
>A five-armed candle-holder, of the cross-pattern variety.
>>44227032
When smoked the cigar gives you a preternatural image change to be extremely intimidating.
>a bent titanium ring
>>44227083
When a candle is placed in the holders and lit right to left a "wish" can be made. These wishes however end at some point whether the actual effects fade, events lead to the wish falling apart, or the materials just up and vanish.
>a native american peacepipe with "'made in china" stamped on it.
>>44227294
Like the wishes end when the candles burn out? That would be cool.
>>44227319
Anytime. You could be swimming in that pool in the mansion you wished for when suddenly POOF gone. Maybe even the land that was moved will be returned with you firmly below ground level.
>>44227385
Resurrected people would immediately becomeskellingtons
>>44227412
Or dust. Or killed in possibly violent collateral damagey ways with you directly next to them.
>>44227294
when you smoke out of it, the spirit of a late-1800s chinese railroad worker possesses your body for an hour. He spends it seeking out the nearest opium den.
roll of receipt paper
>>44227576
Receipts printed on this paper will always been seen as completely trustworthy, allowing the holder to get refunds for those items from any store without returning those items, even if the store doesn't carry those items.
>An 18th Century Straight Razor
>>44228016
When used to shave any hair on a homosexual's body it turns them into a heterosexual version of them self with a turn of the century accent to boot.
>a spent shell casing.
>>44228056
Put a drop of blood from someone you want dead inside it, they will be found shot within 24 hours. The casing will print, if analyzed, as if it is the casing from the shot that killed them.
And no matter how you try to dispose of it, it will reappear in your pocket, until you atone for the murder, or die.
>>44228715
- Forgot to suggest an item.
> A naughty novelty coloring / connect-the-dots book, with sexual themes.
>>44228741
Dungeon mapping journal, for some reason they always come out phallic. Alse after drawing said connect the dot/coloring page it turns very cute /kawaii. (like the bard actually signing, user must draw it out)
>a pair of wool socks
>>44228876
The socks glide along every flat surface as if it was a mirror of ice. Perfect for dramatic entries and those boring nights at home alone.
When used on carpets, this can generate quite a bit of static (nothing really damaging though).
>a tailor's ruler
>>44229168
The ruler folds outward upto a mile for giant clientele and as small as a pin for the height retarded clientele while weighing the average for such a ruler no matter the size.
>a flannel fleece-lined onsie
>>44229619
Causes the wearer to obsessively perform sleep-lumberjacking. They will cut down trees the entire time they are asleep, to the best of their ability. Their body will remain rested anyway.
>A small USB microphone
>>44230555
Every time you speak into the microphone, you will forget the meaning of one of the words you speak. The forgotten word is replaced in the audio file by a curse word in an ancient language.
>a butterfly net
>>44230789
Whenever you catch a moth/butterfly with the net, its wings fall off. The wings remain paired and flutter around the net/its wielder until too damaged to function.
>a 3 inch tall cage
>>44227249
Nothing is apparent when the ring is first put on, but as soon as it is taken off it removes the finger with it easily. After the finger falls to the ground it is imbued with magical power. Making it completely indestructible and have the ability to slowly move on the ground much like a caterpillar. Its sole function 24/7 is to slowly follow you evrywere never slowing or tiring until it reaches its goal of firmly crawling into your asshole. Once lodged firmly it gives the "wielded" minus one charisma. You maybe able to out run it but until the day you die it will follow you.
