Hello /tg/, I'm currently in the middle of a D&D 3.5 campaign. Our party has controlled a city and left all control of it to the cleric (me) because the rest of the party are self-centered douchebags who only care about loot.
The DM is planning to turn this campaign into something as expansive as Daggerfall, and as difficult as Dark Souls even though 3/4 of the party are new to D&D. His plan is to kill off as many of us as possible and to make as many dick moves as possible.
I didn't want to let this happen, so I talked with the others and decided to turn the local library into a R&D department. Creating items and spells that we can use in order to combat the upcoming wave of bullshit. To the DM, the R&D department is ok as long as you can justify the projects.
So my question to you guys is has anyone here done this before in a campaign, and if so, how did it go?
Pic related, it's what my character feels like atm.
>>44174481
Like a completely crazy overly aggressive ultraparanoid asshole who needs to fuck off the edge of the real PCs' dick?
>>44174518
Yeah, pretty much, but trying to be as neutral good as possible in order to maintain my faith to Pelor.
>>44174722
>make burgers
>throw burgers
You should open up a chain of burger restaurants instead. Instead of using natural ingredients, just use magic to enhance the flavors. This way you get your R&D department and the rest of the group gets their loot tenfold.
That is, if your burger is any good.
>>44174933
OP here, that should be my first project, as a source of income for more crazier projects.
>>44174933
>>44175315
Burgers are very important.
>>44176346
>>44174933
So what do you think I should use for meat? I wanna try and use a 50/50 blend of pork and beef, or should I start with something more exotic like dragon or hellhound?
>>44176788
Pork and Beef.
Maybe thin it a little with something readily available, like dog, or goblin.
Dragon or hellhound would drive the prices up way too much.
>>44176788
Like everything, you need to start small. Build a solid following on a few reliable strong items. Then branch out into more exotic foods.
Gotta be know as Home of the ____ first.
Then expand into Gyros, maybe Falafel, maybe fish and chips.
Expect the DM to try and suck you into some kind of protection scheme mob racket. Or rolling a natural 1 and burning the place down (because I get 2nd degree burns 1/20 times I pick up a mug of hot tea).
How you going to deal with that?
>>44176898
You could also try other more exotic meats at a slightly increased prices in regions it's economically viable
>>44177201
Also, always maintain an air of deadly seriousness when talking about burgers
>>44176788
I would scope the area and see what meat is readily available. You don't want to scare the locals off with something too exotic. Something they might be accustomed to.
Check local farms and dungeons. Have you considered turning slimes into a beverage? That might be a neat attraction.
>>44177305
There's something. Dragon meat aged and tenderized in a gelatinous cube.
>>44177305
slimes might be too thick to drink, unless you're thinking of it like a frostie.
>>44177616
That's exactly what I'm thinking of.
Have you all seen the video zone-sama put out regarding burgers?
It's a real treat. It's on YouTube.
>>44174481
>R&D department
>Turns into Burger King
You fucking people.
I love it.So what about french fries?
>>44179871
OP here, you know what, that gives me an idea.
maybe we can take over other kingdoms with the power of burgers, instead of my original idea of creatingan army of these fellows
>>44180698
Take over? That's not the American way.
Make your burgers the best god damned burgers around. Make it so that they're more important than the ingredients they're made from. Once your burgers are so ingrained in foreign culture that it becomes a world-wide cultural icon, you've already won and have to do none of the work of actually running shitty foreign countries.
Just be prepared when you starting breaching other planes. You're likely to meet some big bad demon who thinks he can flip a burger better than you.
>>44181157
Oh I like to see that, challenge accepted.
