You're a novice adventurer. You're offered two weapons. An unremarkable steel sword, or the strongest pepperoni in existence.
Which do you take?
>>44173254
Is strong pepperoni a valuable thing in this setting, or feasibly able to be sold? Am I in dire need of a sword? Would the DM count said pepperoni as a blunt weapon? Do the magi of this realm desire extraordinarily tough meats to experiment on? Is the sword secretly taste of robust itialian meats? C'mon man we need details.
>>44173254
I'm Italian so accepting the pepperoni would be an offense to all my kin. I take the sword because I don't want to commit sudoku.
>>44175481
The only thing you know about the pepperoni is that it's roughly as long as a short sword, is relatively light, and that it is absolutely without peer in the pantheon of cured meats.
>>44175756
>>44173254
I take the pepperoni - there's probably an honest battle-chef that'd let me borrow his sword in exchange for the BEST PEPPERONI IN EXISTENCE.
>>44175756
The sword then. A light, blunt object won't be great as a weapon as a general thing, while steel blades are pretty good.
>taking anything but the pepperoni
Alright, good meeting.
>>44173254
Not really sure why anyone would take the sword when you can just buy a sword at any blacksmith for 15 gold or something.
>>44173254
I take the sword. Then I kill the dude and take the Pepperoni
>>44173254
Unless I'm a Ninja Turtle using pepperoni as a shuriken, I think I'll stick with the sword. The strongest pepperoni in existence is not necessarily stronger than steel.
>>44180110
>The mysterious chef effortlessly blocks your sword blow with the ultimate pepperoni, which shatters your blade into a million tiny shards. "Don't you know that the population of American consumes over 100,000 tons of pepperoni annually?" he chuckles, "And the weight of all that spicy sausage is surpassed by this, my ultimate pepperoni!" He swings the cured sausage towards you in a devastating arc - how can you hope to defend against his strike!?
>>44180210
Catch it with your teeth, being consumed is the food's ultimate weakness!
>>44180210
succumb to the cured meat. Perhaps in our next life we will understand the Power of Pepperonis.
