>be walking through the library in Leuthilspar looking for a certain tome of dwarven limericks
>suddenly this little sun elf pops out of a pile of books and says "Hey faggot, my copy of 'Tropic of Cancer' is 399 years overdue, give me 500 gold to pay off the fine and I'll let you smell my armpits."
>wat do?
Sigh heavily and pull out my coin purse.
How is this a question?
I forcibly penetrate her in one of the alcoves, or possibly on the public toilet.
I don't have 500 gold.
>>44147450
Wonder what the fuck a Sun Elf is. Besides, my PC is genderless so faggot is a pretty weak insult.
>>44147450
>Tropic of Cancer
lel
>>44147450
Smile politely, and then go find the library staff.
Abusing a libraries good will with such a ridiculous extended period of holding onto the book, why many of its patrons could have lived and died whilst waiting for it, and then having the temerity to harass it's patrons is a most serious crime!
Permanent exclusion from the library is too good for the likes of her...
Lead her to the book where it's been misplaced under a row of lockers in the boy's locker room, then proceed to give her an atomic wedgie when she bends over to retrieve the book. Then I laugh to myself while chanting CAN'T STAND YA, CAN'T STAND YA.
>>44147476
>forcibly penetrate
It's not rape if it's an elf.
>>44147450
You're a big guy
"Where'd that elf go?"
"Oh, she's downstairs dancing with all our Ioun Stones..."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uV9s5Ggy3Hk
>>44147450
You dare to challenge me? I am Cornholio, in search of the magical tee'P. My stench is far more than yours combined from all your holes!
I shall raise MY armpits! Yes, that is the musk of a man on a mission. Faint before my mighty malaise. Are you not overcome with wonder?
But you have potential. Join me, and we shall go forth into the barren wastes where we need not fear water, man or beast and you shall come to possess a stench so great that money will be useless as all will give you whatever you need simply to see you on your way. No help will be withheld as the recognize that you cannot be delayed for a man with such a reek must be on a quest of gravest importance.
>>44147463
kekked
>>44147555
She said it out loud in the library, clearly getting caught is clearly part of her plan.
>>44147450
>"No. I'm half-elf, not full-pathetic."
>"Also, go the fuck back to Evermeet, nobody wants you here."
>>44147543
The elves have a very similar saying.
>>44147505
>DUHDEHLEEDUH DUHDUH
>puwumPOCpuwumPAcha
>>44147921
Clearly?
>I don't associate with prostitutes, Elf.
I don't know which is worse, this, or those god awful Primarch threads.
>>44147450
Tropic of Cancer?
Hah! That reminds me of that time Cousin Okri and I fought that brace of trolls! Of course, back then we didn't really have many libraries to peruse on the subject, but that didn't stop Okri! Oh no, he gathered what scrap paper we had, gathered together some powder and threw it right in their faces! Course they don't make bombs like Cousin Okri used to make now, but you should have seen the explosion. 'Course, that gave me a good window to go right up to the lead troll and catch it a good ding to the neck with my axe. Cleanest kill I ever made, I tell you... Where have you got to, elf?
>>44147948
But that comment was fully pathetic.
>>44147948
are you a robot?
>>44147971
rekt
I noogie her till she cries.
no matter how long it takes.
>>44148013
Really the best vermintide
>>44147450
>Remove Keeb
>>44147640
Oh my. I've... I've been on 4chan too long.
ITT: not a single /tv/ browser.
>>44148190
/tv/'s even more shit then /tg/ on it's shittiest day.
And /tg/ can be REALLY shitty.
>>44147980
At least the primarch threads occasionally result in something of value being produced - if you're into the setting, anyways.
These threads are completely metastatic.
>>44147450
>tfw public librarian
>calls me a faggot
I sternly ask her to quiet down and learn some manners, young lady.
I then inform her that soliciting is not permitted in the library, throw her out the front door, and tell her that a collector will be seeing her to discuss payment plans.
>>44147450
Tear her apart, limb from limb.
Then loot her corpse.
Then skin her face.
Then smell her armpits.
>>44148190
Good.
/tv/ is a cesspool.
>>44147450
>'Tropic of Cancer'
I read that book. Or I tried. It's edgy as fuck.
Also
>screaming in the library
>not returning a book for 400 years
We must've gone through +30 copies of that novel already.
>>44148190
>ITT: not a single /tv/ browser.
Is that where these are from? OP posts this thread about an elf wanting you to pay her to smell her whatever every couple of months on /tg/, but you're right that none of us are pathetic enough to know it's from /tv/.
