How is playing an explosion wizard not the ultimate character?
Door in the way? Explode it.
Martials trying to club your face in? Explode them.
Pesky guard hassling your party? Explode him.
Have to pass a diplomatic check? Explode the king.
Entire realm angry at you for exploding everything? Explode the kingdom.
Cosmic horror from beyond the stars? Explosions.
Explosionmancy is the ultimate form of magic and combat.
>not imploding your problems
Michael Bay, listen.
You have a problem. You can't just explode all your problems away. All you'll be left with is rubble and broken dreams.
And when you're left with the rubble and broken dreams, you wouldn't have even prepped the spells that could have fixed this.
>>44119583
>All you'll be left with is rubble and broken dreams.
I roll to explode rubble and dreams.
You are handcuffed in your sleep. Exploding the cuffs will destroy your hands. MAKE YOUR CHOICE WIZARD!
>>44119444
It seems like causing so much collateral damage would be inconvenient if your character has, like, things or people they care about, or anything like that. I usually like to give my characters a couple of those.
>>44119654
Black Mage morality for the win!
>>44119444
Thanks Mr. Torgue.
>>44119628
You don't need hands to explode things.
>not exploding your sleepiness away so you never have to sleep
>>44119729
EXPLOSIONS!
>>44119444
>>44119444
>Explosionmancy is the ultimate form of magic and combat.
>implying we need magic to explode all our problems
Can it, Harry. Us muggles can blow shit up just fine.
>>44119444
depends on whether or not you can control the size, force, and element of the explosions
>>44119628
>>44119739
Or just explode the chain only
>>44119628
Explode hands.
Create new hands from explosions.
>>44119997
>>44120024
You can't call such puny queef-whistles REAL explosions.
>>44120240
>a man approaches you, his hands glowing like miniaturized, self-contained suns, shouting something about explosions
>he assumes a boxing stance
Fucking terrifying.
>>44119444
What if your campaign is set on a methane world where even the smallest flame could ignite the entire atmosphere?
>>44120988
>methane world campaign
>BBEG is some fuck with a lighter
>>44120988
Then it will be a short but successful campaign
Indeed! Explosions truly are the only magic you require!
>>44120270
I must do this now
Blasters are stupid, I weep every time I try to play a "wizard" in a game and it turns out I have to play a fucking refluffed archer instead of doing anything unique.
>>44120270
Im angry that i laughed as hard as i did
>>44120270
I'm stealing that as my new character.
I like it
>>44121488
hahah I fucking chuckled.
>>44120270
I roll up my sleeves to reveal black leather gloves.
I take off the gloves.
Underneath:Black hole hands.
>>44119628
Just create tiny explosions inside the cuffs to destroy the mechanism holding them closed. Duh.
>>44120240
>>44120270
Or that. That works too. Sooner or later, you could even make yourself into an explosion elemental, just by substituting lost body parts with explosions.
>>44119444
Your friend is being held hostage by the enemy? Explode them both. You don't have any friends anyway.
>>44119654
>Caring for anything but the power of magic, the magic of power and how to kill a maximum of people in as few rounds as possible.
>Being anchored into base reality by affection, dedication and morality.
>Being such a snivelling vermin, a cowering imbecile, a pathetic fool unworthy to contemplate true wizardly glory without being turned a frog and then sent on fire.
>mfw
>>44126451
This was actually pretty much my last character. His fists would suck the strenth and life from any living thing they touched, turning their energy into his. Magic monk is so much fun to play.
>>44126554
My last character was also a monk. But a learned book smarts western style monk. Navigated by the stars and was on a pseudo-pilgrimage/trading mission with a camel, bodyguard and wagon.
Met some crazy bedouin in the desert and next thing I was in the middle of some insane quest for allah. Ended up becoming a prophet of Allah!
>>44126471
>tiny explosions
>tiny
>explosions
I'm sorry, I have no idea what you're saying. I mean, I know what those words are individually but together, it's like I'm trying to read Elvish.
>>44119583
>You can't just explode all your problems away.
