Hear ye, hear ye. I hereby call to order this meeting of the most illustrious Mages Guild! As some of you might know the Necromancers decided to declare war on the vampire kingdom of Tenebrus for some reason, I assume its some dispute about what's the superior undead or something. Anyway it seems that we have gotten complaints from the local vampire hunters that we are putting them out of a job and they are demanding that the guild compensates them for this. Now normally I'd just ignore them, or fireballs, but they've been protesting outside my office, and I hate the smell of roasted garlic, so you'll just have you come up with a way to get rid of them without using excessive fire.Welcome to the Mages' Guild. Pick a name and join in! Conflicts are resolved with d20s when needed, or with playing it out. When the thread dies on /tg/, we keep it going on archive.4plebs For additional resources, please visit http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Mage%27s_guild
>>44117251
Have you considered freezing them? Also, here is your coffee sir
>>44117251
Deeeaaaaaath?
Excuse me, we invaded because we needed corpses and we didn't think anyone would care about us attacking a kingdom of vampires.
It was Lazarus's idea?
>>44117251
Can I have them? I need more "lab assistants", they don't have to be vampire hunters do they?
>walks in
My first guild meet-
>sees all the people
>stares
..This Guild is huge..
>>44117328
How long have you been here?
>>44117251
Will they accept payment in Incubi and Succubi services? Because, I got some on retainer, for research purposes I assure everyone! It's just they have one hell of a union and if I don't give them enough hours I might lose some contracts, and the damn interns aren't fulfilling their end of the bargain. Always going on and on about chaffing and water, pansies...
>>44117327
...You're doing that look again.
>>44117328
Would you like some coffee?
>>44117345
Long enough to enter my daughter's protection, so hands off.
>>44117356
What look?
>>44117370
THIS ONE
>>44117370
What would I do to to her, I ask?
>>44117345
Four days now..er..Mr. Doomblight.
>>44117368
Coffee? Uh..yes please.
>>44117370
That one! You always get that look when your thinking about stealing someone's soul, usually some underage girl. What's wrong with you, stick to elves like a normal mage!
If they must be human use the Interns like the rest of us, that's what the bastar- I mean, valued members of the staff, are here for.
>>44117418
Here you go
>Gives her a mug
>>44117418
So, you haven't had the chance to heavily explore it yet, I take it?
>>44117432
>takes it and starts drinking
This is really good..thank you.
>>44117440
No, I only go to the Archives when classes have ended.
>>44117461
Your welcome
>>44117408
Quin, stop that
>>44117408
Sweet Criticus, I'm even more terrifying than I thought!
>>44117413
Eh... ok, you would probably do nothing. It was a general reaction. Spread the word though, might increase her chances of survival.
>>44117422
No, no, no you got it all wrong. It's the look I get when I think of eating people. It takes me back to when I first ate Jheska the Traitoress, betrayer of the Mages Guild and my personal tormentor. I should probably have eaten before the meeting.
>>44117432
I'll have a cup of coffee too Mortimer.
>>44117472
I did stop, that was Pierre casting an image of my face.
>>44117475
Here you go Quin
>>44117501
Fucking Pierre.
>>44117475
IT ONLY GETS WORSE QUIN. LOOK AT IT. LOOK AT WHAT YOU HAVE BECOME!
>>44117475
Perfectly understandable. I'm overprotective of my niece. Family works that way.
>>44117461
Well see if you can explore the guild some time. But do be careful. Some departments are kinda dangerous.
>>44117517
Thank you Mortimer.
>>44117518
...
>stares back at the image
>>44117525
Yeah, it does...
>>44117475
Ah, my mistake, they are rather similar after all.
If you must snack I have a student in my sex dung- I mean, research center. Name of Reginald.
Nice chap, bit on the husky side if you get my meaning, lots of meat on his bones.
The fat bastards eating all of my snack cakes, you know the cream-filled ones make of chocolate chip cookies?
Those things cost three gold pieces and I'll be damned in a Paladin's hell before I buy one more pack for that conniving little- ah, but I'm rambling.
Tea anyone?
>>44117537
Anytime Quin
>>44117537
...I think I'm done with that now.
>>44117525
Yes, I know..quite well.
>>44117547
I have my coffee, but thank you. Also, I only actually eat enemies. It's a matter of principle for me. Also very important for my reputation, if I was known as that bunnycat who ate people it would be terrible, but I'm perfectly fine with being known as the bunnycat that eats her enemies.
>>44117552
Good, because I could keep up that stare all day if I have to.
Guuuuuuuuys. I feel weird......
>>44117251
Have the necromancers HIRE the vampire hunters as a unit for their silly war, using money from their tea & coffee kitty until either the war ends or the vampire hunters get their foolish selves killed.
They can go without Lapsang Souchong for a few months.
>>44117564
Hm.
Sounds like you had a run in with some of the more dangerous places already.
>>44117537
I've never seen you get horribly overprotective of anyone that quickly before.
>>44117644
We're don't need the vampire hunters. Besides, we picked it because the army was mostly vampire thralls so we could steal the corpses.
>>44117632
What happened Frank?
How difficult could it be to make a homunculus that seems close enough to a vampire? If we were to make them frightening enough, the vampire hunters would still get calls, but the psuedo-pires would not even require blood for sustenance, so I would be safer by magnitudes for all involved parties.
Getting such a large amount of biological material might seem difficult, but the necromancers should be obliged to donate a share of their recently acquired bodies. Along with the few charred vampire hunters strewn about as well.
...and really have you seen how many street urchins have been around this neighbourhood lately, they must be good for SOMETHING.
>>44117632
I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M DOING
>>44117632
What did you do? Did you consume any unmarked potions? Did you cast any unexplained spells.
>>44117644
That... seems very reasonable. Someone get one of the necromancers here so we can see if they are willing to do it.
>>44117673
But, what if you sent in the vampire hunters first, wouldn't that guarantee they die too?
>>44117673
Yes..I had to kill two people-
>>44117632
>stares at the tank
W-W-Wha..
>>44117629
Yeah, I know. I however, simply can't deal with it all day. I've been eaten by... yeah. Three? Three different people now. I don't like how it's a recurring thing.
>>44117632
FRANK. STOP THAT THIS INSTANT.
>>44117673
I'm sort of expecting her to drop dead at any moment, and it would make Cunabula very sad to lose her. Sooooo, quick reactions.
>>44117724
Really? Where?
>>44117696
It's simpler to just march out on our own. The department tried going to war the moment we alerted them to start preparing.
>>44117740
Understandable then. Keep up the good work, for the sake of us all.
>>44117740
>>44117673
I..
...Very courageous of you two..
>Scratches the back of her head
Ara ara~ why not the vampires and the necromancers simply join forces to eliminate the Hunters? The vampires would be free from a mortal enemy and the necromancer can have the corpses. Oh, and hi everyone.
>>44117689
Why go through all that trouble?
Just smack a few curses of lycantropy on the little bastards and let them run wild.
The vampire hunters change their job to werewolf hunters, the little fucks get plenty to eat as starving rabid wolfmen, and we get left the hell alone.
Added bonus, new wolf pelt jackets for everyone in a few days and more corpses for our necromatic brothers in the guild.
>>44117776
We kinda already declared war...
>>44117768
The first time was in the initiation..the second was three days after I joined, in the Archives.
>>44117686
I don't know! I took a nap and when I woke up I had the body of an M1A2 Abrams main battle tank!
>>44117692
WHHHHHHY! Because of you I have the weirdest boner right now and it's lasted longer then 4 hours!
>>44117696
Nooooooo yes.
>>44117724
>It has the head of a man on top
HELP ME!
>>44117734
I CAN'T!
>>44117776
Save me Jill, you're my only hope!
>>44117689
Not sure if the necromancer are willing to share their spoils of war. They seem awfully protective of those corpses.
>>44117734
Ah, yeah I can see how the stare I had when I eat Jheska would be extra discomforting for you then.
>>44117768
Will do!
>>44117770
You know the risks, you need all the help you can get. And I rather not have to eat someone because you got killed.
>>44117776
Hello. Sadly we already suggested that, they aren't going for it.
>>44117776
STOP EATING MY CLOTHES!
>>44117779
You would have the urchins turned into monsters and let loose into the city.
Egad, the thought of it, they could eat any number of productive members of society, I wont have it.
>>44117811
Morrigan is not going to be happy about this Frank. You better fix it before she sees this
>>44117796
If I rolled my eyes any harder I'd detach my optic nerves.
So... why can't we just banish all parties involved to the void and let the Old Ones deal with them?
>>44117806
Yeah, that happens.
Look on the bright side, you're not a teacher or a necromancer. So you have a significantly higher life expectancy than I do, statistically.
Or at least, you would if I didn't rig it in my favor.
>>44117858
Look, you try getting the necromancy department to NOT go to war after we told them to get ready for it.
>>44117855
Wait maybe she can help, uhhh, Fire my main cannon as it where.....
>>44117843
If they were productive they would be smart enough to avoid being eaten by rabid wolfman children.
And don't you sit there and tell me you haven't thought of unleashing a plague of monsters on the populace for shits and giggles, you wouldn't have become a mage otherwise.
>Walks in
Have you all decided on a way to get rid of the hunters?
>>44117888
Frank, I don't think that will work
>>44117811
I-I..Don't..WHAT?!
>>44117824
That is true..
>>44117882
>looks startled then fearful
..W..What do you mean by that, sir?
>>44117905
Yes.
>>44117912
You're right, She's way to big to get inside me.
>>44117925
Listen I need a favor that may or may not count as sexual harassment, are you in or out?
>>44117796
Oh dear, that was kinda rush of you. Can't you guys maybe have a peace talk or something?
>>44117811
Frank-kun what are you doing to yourself!!!
>>44117824
Oh my but it sounded such a good plan. Is not like we don't have vampire mages in the guild.
]>>44117826
Do you know the mink coat you brought for the guild today? It was delicious.
>>44117953
There is no going back.
IT IS THE WILL OF ENTROPY.
>>44117949
Sometimes, I still wonder what she saw in you
>>44117953
Coffee or tea?
>>44117925
What?
Oh, sorry. Not threatening you. Just, uh... for the record, have contingency plans in place for your death.
>>44117953
We needed corpses to fill an order, and it was the only kingdom we could slaughter in a reasonable time frame that wouldn't get the paladins bearing down on us.
>>44117949
W..Wha..um...uh...
>>44117779
>>44117843
WAIT A MINUTE, THAT'S IT!
We turn over-half of the vampire hunters into into werewolves, then we round up up all the street urchins and give them to the remaining vampire hunters to be trained as hunters and reformed as productive citizens!!
I could keep the werewolves in my old sex dungeon, I haven't used it in ages.... I could even get the ball rolling with some sort of werewolf breeding program with a modestly sized endowment from His Most Learned And Virile The Archwizard.
>>44117984
..And..what are said contingency plans, sir?
>>44117953
Blast I Can't under stand a thing you just said. Uhhh Frank Desu Need Desu Your Desu Help chan Baka.
>>44117976
And you never will.
>>44117985
I want you inside me.
>>44117811
Hey, want to try this magic gem I have? It's almost guaranteed to restore you to a humanoid shape. Trust me.
>pic
>>44117925
He means, at least you are not in a war. They are.
>>44117953
True that, I think some of them are even in the necromancy department.
>>44118011
I think will in time
>>44118014
No Quin, no messing with my brother in laws body any more than he already ahs
>>44117994
>I could keep the werewolves in my old sex dungeon, I haven't used it in ages
Tsk Tsk, one must'nt become complacent now. A proper wizard always maintains his Sex Dungeon properly.
And how can you store werewolves in there, isn't it full of elves?
By the distended eye of Kthrketst, mine is.
>>44117949
I'm just going to assume YOU have a plan of action. Not an agreed upon thing.
>>44117953
Because they're an evil nation? Otherwise we wouldn't go to war with them with the excuse of Justice.
>>44117976
Hey Mortimer, can you get me a latte?
>>44117994
>Goes to say something but stops
>>44118014
No, bad Quin. Don't make me look deeper!
>>44118011
...EW! N-NO!
>>44118014
Ah......I see..
>>44118007
Well, take Lazarus for example. He had an undead with order to bring me a summoning ritual to get him back should he die, which let him come back at his leisure.
And he took damn long enough to get back.
Look, the point is, find magic that can revive people, and have a way to get it cast on yourself that you can be sure will activate if you die.
>>44118048
Here you go
>Gives him a mug
>>44118067
I knew a guy who tried this, Joseph Curwen was his name.
He ended up being banished forever by an angry alienist.
>>44118034
Do you have any idea what I could learn from observing such a transformation? It might be a once in a lifetime opportunity.
>>44118048
Don't you dare!
>pic
>>44118064
I would stay away from Frank until he gets back to normal. He looks heavy, and you don't want to get run over.
>>44118088
Thanks Mortimer.
>He gets to work drinking it
>>44118111
YOU DON'T SCARE ME!
>"She" sorta does
>>44118111
Do you have any idea what my sister would do to us if we fucked around with his basic shape?
>>44118014
Quin you're triggering me, stop it!!!
>>44118034
You'd think that
>>44118048
Wrong! I was lying the whole time!
>>44118064
All jokes aside, I need you to climb in my mouth and fire my main cannon.
>>44118107
Well, now that's just rude.
>>44118067
Ah..resurrection spells?
>>44118111
Definitely.
>>44118147
..W..WHY?
>>44118043
A I needed those elves for flesh-golem crafting lab last semester. I wouldn't have had to use my own if I had tenure, but that about three generations away at this point.
Of course, with the endowment I mentioned I'd have the "assets" that I need for my new project.
>>44118163
Well, yeah. You're a chronomancer in training, so I assume your chosen magic has some weird thing where you turn back part of your personal timeline to come back to life or something, right?
>>44118133
Really? Because I scare me.
>>44118142
Well, it wouldn't be permanent. Just long enough for me to get my research data... and record some embarrassing images.
>>44118147
I'll stop when you take the damn gem!
>>44118163
Don't do it, let someone else take that risk.
>>44118147
You bastard! And I bet you just want to eat the young girl!
>>44118167
. . .Dude, are you a racist? You sound like a racist.
>>44118167
If you're looking for elves I know a guy, well a male, at least I think he is.
When your made entirely of Insectoid limbs and screaming faces that cry tears of liquid obsidian, gender becomes somewhat hard to define.
He does get elves for the cheap though, so there's that.
>>44118202
Well... I'm not underestimating you. But... stop trying to trick people into being Magical Girls!
>>44117971
All Nothing is eternal all things will end some day. Teheee~
>>44117976
Tea my dear.
>>44117984
Paladins...now i understand your problem.
>>44118014
Eh... i could use my powder to make then sleep but some hunters use those mask that protect then from my precious skill.
>>44118048
Why ado you think they are evil?
>>44118202
You will have to send copy's to Morrigan if you take them
Rolled 4 (1d20)
YOU MUST LET ME IN WIZARDS
I HAVE BEEN TOLD BY A VALUABLE SOURCE THAT YOU ARE HARBORING THE UNDEAD FOR DISGUSTING NECROMANTIC ACTIVITIES
THIS IS ABSOLUTELY HERETICAL AND I DEMAND THAT YOU ALLOW ME PASSAGE SO THAT I MAY SMITE THE PERSON OR PERSONS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS MISTREATMENT OF THE DEADI ROLL FOR ENTRY
>>44118210
He's talking about elves, they don't really care.
Snooty pricks just reincarnate when they die anyway, so they see a corpse like you would see a shit.
In fact if dear old Carolus showed them the flesh golem the worst they would do is be offended that it's not pretty enough.
>>44118202
..A-Alright..
>>44118188
...I think so. I'm still practicing though.
>>44118236
Here you go
>Gives tea
>>44118271
>Looks at the door
May I smash him?
Test
>>44118236
Indeed. We're necromancers, so we do deal with them semi-regularly, but honestly we do try to avoid them whenever possible.
>>44118280
No harm in practice. Get someone who would be able to revive you on the list of people who would mourn you quickly, though.
And stop wearing red. It's going to get you killed the moment you forget your nametag.
>>44118291
Go ahead.
>>44118234
NEVER!
>>44118236
Worth a shot. Worst case, they end up being your problem.
>>44118245
Deal!
>>44118271
Actually, I think the necromancers brought all their undead with them to fight those vampires.
Frank here, cant post on computer, sorry
>>44118271
OH SHIT.
Violence time?
>>44118307
And who is this unnamed man, "Test?"
How did he get in here? What shall we do with him?
>>44118271
Aw Hell, ITS THE FUZZ!
ah, ah, ah, I'm not Zetsus, no no I'm, uh, his twin brother, bill the, uh, uh, shit, a, mancer?
I, make sure the lavatories work, the Janitor, that's it!
I'm the Janitor!
>>44118271
>Opens the door
Go away before I smash you
>Standing in your way is a giant
>>44118337
Allright Frank, do what Quin tells you to
>>44118210
Here I am trying to solve this crisis, and I'm now being accused of harboring the most vile of sentiments.
I'll have you know that I have an infinite well of love for my fellow man, except urchins. As well as all other proper races.
>>44118322
Alright and..
..Sir, I kind of..have to. Until I graduate my class, i'm not allowed to not wear these in class.
Rolled 8 (1d20)
>>44118337
SO THEY ARE USING UNDEAD TO FIGHT ANOTHER HOARD OF UNDEAD?
IF THIS WASN'T HERETICAL THEN THAT WOULD BE HILARIOUS AND IRONIC AT ONCE
>>44118356
A GIANT? I AM NOT AMUSED MAGICKER, FOR I AM WELL EXPERIENCED IN THE ART OF GIANT-SLAYING
WATCH AS I DEFTLY PASS YOUR GIANT AND TRIP HIM WITH NAUGHT BUT A FLICK OF MY HEEL
>>44118236
. . .The nation of Tenebrus is actually evil. I don't have anything against vampires. One of my older sisters is a vampire.
>>44118271
. . .And then we have nutjobs that think we must be slain.
>Takes out a card and summons a blue dragon spirit
>>44118276
. . .No, no they do not. Does this guy even understand elves? Because I do! I have three elf siblings!
>>44118337
DON'T MAKE ME GET THE ACID BOTTLE!
>>44118365
. . .Fine. I'll let it go. THIS TIME!
Rolled 1 (1d20)
>>44118395
>Kick
You aren't the first to try that trick. And I don't even use magic
>>44118417
>Rolled 1 (1d20)
How you fuck up that bad now that guy's actually gonna beat your giant
>>44118390
Really?
It's like they want their students killed by cruel twists of fate...
>>44118395
I'll have you know, it's not heretical where I am from and if you want to persecute me for it you will start an international incident. And make my boss angry, probably.
Not sure which would result in more pain for you.
>>44118395
It also means that the ones you are looking for are in another kingdom... possibly another continent, I don't really know where this Tenebrus is located.
>>44118416
BRING IT!
>>44118417
PRAISE CRITICUS!
...no wait, we needed Mortimer to win. Criticus, why!?
>>44118442
..I think that's the point..weed out the weak and..yeah..you know the rest.
Rolled 13 (1d20)
>>44118395
That's it! GHOST THUNDER!
>The ectomancer's blue dragon spirit spits rushes at the Slayer and attacks him with spectral thunder
>>44118455
LATER!
>>44118416
>. . .No, no they do not. Does this guy even understand elves? Because I do! I have three elf
Of course I do, I've studied, debauched, and sacrificed elves for Decades.
The slippery bastards souls always get snacthed up by their god right before I feed them to my fell associates.
The prick always says the reincarnate, though we might be confusing two different types of elf here.
What subspecies do you mean? That may be the source of our confusion, especially considering there's like twenty of them.
>>44118417
HAH
DO YOU SEE NOW HOW FOOLHARDY YOU WERE TO TRY TO INTIMIDATE ME WITH SUCH A SLUGGISH CREATURE?
NOW THEN, WHERE WAS I-
>>44118455
TENEBRUS?
HOW ODD, FOR THE VALUABLE SOURCE THAT I RECEIVED THIS INFORMATION FROM HAD COME FROM THAT KINGDOM
THE BLUEBLOODED MAIDEN AT THEIR COURT WAS THE ONE WHO HAD TOLD ME THAT IT WAS THIS GUILD THAT CAUSED THEM STRIFE
>>44118513
STAY YOUR PET MAGICKER, IT WOULD SEEM THAT THE FORCES AGAINST YOU TRIED TO PIT US AGAINST EACH OTHER
>>44118463
Hate it when that happens.
But then, my department has a fairly high turnover rate anyway, so who am I to talk?
>>44118550
You mean the vampire kingdom we're busy invading? Those guys gave you the tip?
Rolled 10 (1d20)
>>44118550
FUCK YOU
>Drops entire tray of coffee on you as he falls
>>44118550
Why would you ever trust a being so heretical as a vampire?
>>44118550
Will you keep it down some of us are trying to discuss matter of- uh I mean, I'm cleaning here and your making a horrible mess.
I'm the Janitor. I swear. The elaborate robes are just a uniform. Honestly
>>44118544
Uh, all of them? Maybe there's an obscure one that I don't know about but all the major elves reincarnate as much as the rest of the races.
>>44118550
. . .You need to be removed for the good of the gene pool.
>The spirit still attacks
>>44118550
>>44118563
BOTH OF YOU SILENCE!!!
>>44118550
Then I hate to tell you this, but you've been played. Tenebrus is ruled by vampires. You are being used as a distraction in the hopes that the necromancers will turn back to save us or something.
>>44118617
Here is a broom to complete the uniform.
>>44118560
Um..sir..question..
...Why is everything always a life and death situation here?
>>44118629
The situation has again decayed into violence! Entropy!
>>44118632
HEY! WE ARE HAVING AN EPIC BATTLE HERE IF YOU DONT MIND!
Rolled 2 (1d20)
>>44118644
Yep.
Wait, shit! NOOOOOOOOO!
>>44118550
>>44118629
>Jake tries to prevent his spirit from attacking the man at the last second
>>44118337
Quin you're so lucky you don't use clothes, or else i would be eating all of then.
>>44118291
Thank you darling~
>>44118322
Paladins are such a headache. You must have pretty rough.
>>44118638
Ah yes thank you, I, uh, FORGOT, mine, in the closet, yes.
>>44118639
Pretty much kid, yeah. Uh, I mean, I wouldn't know that, oh great and powerful mage who signs my paychecks. I've only worked here for TEN days.
>>44118639
Well, when you work with powers like ours, that are so inherently mighty and deadly, it's easy for things to be life and death.
Besides, we're mages. Death isn't THAT big a setback.
>>44118638
Spoiler alert, we will not. I'm not even actually here, this is just a magical location-displaced pseudocopy of me I control directly without being within stabbing range. It's easier than commuting back to the guild for a meeting.
In fact, the necromancy department is literally completely absolutely 100% deserted and there would be literally no point in checking it out because there's no one there.
>>44118692
We deal with it.
Rolled 8 (1d20)
>>44118681
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
>swings a thermodynamics tome at the dragon in an attempt to distract it
Rolled 3 (1d20)
>>44118645
And the adult's are trying to talk so the kids should just sleep a little bit.
>flap her wings pouring her sleeping powder.
>>44118714
>>44118703
True...
>>44118744
I AM 500 YEARS OLD! I AM MORE OF AN ADULT THEN YOU EVER WILL BE!
[Spoiler] going to have to call it a night here. My headache has gotten to bad for me keep toughing through it
>>44118728
>It would be against the 13 I rolled previously if you are assisting in preventing the dragon from attacking
>>44118744
. . .There are so many things wrong with what you just said I don't even know where to start.
Rolled 10 (1d20)
>>44118560
>>44118638
TENEBRUS, RULED BY VAMPIRES? THAT CAN'T BE TRUE, ITS CITIZENS CHERISH THE SUN AND ITS RULERS POSSESS THE ROUNDED TEETH OF A CHILD'S DOLL
THEY HAD EVEN REQUESTED THAT THIS BOOK, WHICH WAS BORROWED FROM THE MAGES GUILD LIBRARY, ALSO BE RETURNED UNTO YOUR POSSESSION
>>44118629
I WILL GLADLY TAKE THIS ATTACK HEAD ON
IF WHAT YOU SPEAK IS TRUE THEN I MUST AT LEAST PAY FOR MY MISDEEDS AND INCOMPETENCE IN THIS WAY
RAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHH
>>44118692
Yes, that is one of the advantages of my current form. But really, anything that works is probably worth trying.
>>44118703
You're quite welcome.
>>44118714
Oh, I was wondering why you showed up when the other necromancers were away at war. Ooooh, can you tell Lazarus that his robe makes him look fat? No, wait, that's a terrible insult, let me think of something more clever.
>>44118765Later Mort.
>>44118834
Eh... and you don't think that seems at all suspicious? I mean, look at it. What kind of book do you think it is?
>>44118760
See? Learning already.
>>44118834
>Sigh
>>44118877
I can tell him you said that, if you want.
>>44118834
I hate to say it, but you're pretty much a heretic by association at this point.
Rolled 19 (1d20)
>>44118834
NO! SHIT! MY GIRLFRIEND IS GONNA BE PISSED AT ME! LIKE, ROYALLY!
But, uh, I'll get rid of that book.
>Uses the same move on the book
>>44118903
Wait, you guys left already!? Shit, I'll join you guys as fast as I can!
>And with that he runs off
>>44118879
..Sir. I joined the Mages' Guild to become a mage that can do good and help people..but..I'm starting to doubt I can do good..
>>44118927
Better hurry.
>>44118928
Magic is power. How you wield it is up to you. You wish to do good with magic? Then learn magic, and use it to do good. You won't be tied intrinsically to the guild, you can still go help people. Especially a chronomancer like you, who makes time their plaything.
>>44118966
>nods, smiling a bit
Thank you, sir..
>>44118903
No, no, I need a clever insult that you can pass on. I will probably never have a chance to insult someone who is this far away again, and I want to make the most of it.
>>44118928
Don't be fooled, there is a lot of good being done here. It's just not given much attention over the fireballs and undead armies.
Okay no pressure, I mean sure they may have the power to rip your stillbeating heart, fill it with molten lava, and keep you in life with said lava pumping through your veins for an eternity but they can't be any worse than your master's wrath should you fail
G-Greetings esteemed mages, I bring a letter from my mas-
>Messenger witnesses the entire scene at the front gate
euhhhhhDON'T PISS YOUR PANTS DON'T PISS YOUR PANTS
>>44118990
Eh, what can I say? I like pep talks.
>>44118996
Well, think quickly then.
>>44119005
>Cocks head
Eh?
Rolled 13 (1d20)
>>44119005
>speaks in the most booming, intimidating voice possible
WHO GOES THERE?
>>44119005
Greetings humble messenger, I am bill, the Janitor.
Just leave your message here and I'll make sure it gets to the mages.
*Leans in*
kid if you ever want to live long enough to know the touch of a woman, man, or person shaped demonic being that defies any gender, run like hell.
now.
>>44118928
Doing good's subjective. So long as you try, it counts.
>>44119021
>smiles brightly
>the cutest smile
Thank you again, sir..I don't know how much I can say it..
>>44119065
Then don't. Throw yourself into your studies, to breeze through them as you seek out new and inventive ways to save everyone you can using the techniques you master.
I may not look it, but I know how to be a good guy.
>>44119102
>She nods
Erm..may I call you Mister Veilhex instead of Mister Doomblight?
>>44119063
>jumps
Ah!
H..Hello.
>>44119028
>Messenger, being a shitty jobber messenger, cannot roll against this action!
>Messenger faints!and he totally pissed his pants lmao
>>44119054
>As Messenger falls to the ground covered in his own urine, you notice the letter he had in hand
>The letter seems to have fresh embers charring the edges, and the wax seal is emblazoned with the facade of a great serpent shining like a newborn star
>Pick up the letter y/n?
>>44119021
...damn, I got nothing. Forget about it.
>>44119063
Hello Sam, doing well I hope?
>>44119102
You really am... OOOOOOH! I got one, tell Lazarus I knew he was good all along. You guys are saving the people of Tenebrus after all, aren't you? I know that will just burn at him.
>>44119143
Maybe knocking him out wasn't the best idea...
We just gonna leave him there?
>>44119137
Sup. By the way, might wanna save that kind of reaction for the REAL jumpscares.
>>44119155
Well enough, I suppose. You?
>>44119137
You can call me professor. I do have a teaching degree.
>>44119155
But... we're going to convert the people there to our undead minions to sell them to form an army on another world.
Well, I mean, we were. I think magic doesn't work there, so we might just keep them for ourselves.
>>44119143
> Y
Um guys, I, bill the Janitor, have come into the possesion of a note.
As I am not a mage I cannot open it.
So, um, I'm just gonna place it on the table here and get back to sweeping.
Don't mind me.
>>44119180
I'm doing great, Cunabula decided to keep a redrobe alive though. I'm doing my best to help, but I'm expecting it to end badly.
>>44119193
All of them? I thought you said you were avoiding getting the paladins after you.
>>44119200
It's probably cursed or something.
Who wants to open it?
>>44119244
Well, they're vampire thralls. I mean, we can't exactly free them from that without killing them, and if we kill them we're not going to wast their corpses.
>>44119247
I am not physically here, so I can't.
Rolled 6 + 5 (1d20 + 5)
CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK
>>44119180
Who are you?
>>44119193
Ok..Professor..Doomblight..
>>44119273
The entire empire are thralls? I'm not buying it, you are saving someone.
>>44119276
Hello there, you lost? The army already left.
>>44119300
Oh, right. I'm Samantha, used to work with Quin. Anymore I'm doing more independent study, geomancy and pyromancy specialization.
You must be the redrobe she was talking about, then.
>>44119335
>nods
I'm Astrid..uh..
>extends her hand out
Nice to meet you..er..Samantha.
>>44119320
CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK
CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK, CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK
CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK
CLACK
>>44119335
Yup, that's her. She wields a mean crowbar.
>>44119367
I see...
>actually understood none of that
Well, do you need any help?
>>44119349
Astrid, huh? Nice to meet you too.
>>44119367
Okay, am I going to have to bury you again, or will you pipe down?
>>44119276
Holy shit! A real live skeleton!
>he extends a hand to shake
>>44119320
Well... Y'see... uh... Take it up with Lazarus.
>>44119300
Nervous about something?
>>44119367
Shouldn't you be with the rest of the army?
>>44119383
>>44119393
>>44119410
CLACK
CLACK
CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK
CLACK CLACK
CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK
>Skeleton Musician approaches and speaks
CLACK CLACK CLACK
CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK
CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK
CLACK
CLACK
CLACK
CLACK CLACK
CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK
CLACK CLACK CLACK
CLACK CLACK?
>>44119395
>Both skeletons pat your head and back respectively
>>44119393
>holds her hand awkwardly in the air
>puts it to her side
Um..you too..
>>44119410
..I'm afraid of a lot of people here..you as well honestly..
>Skeleton Musician notices the burning letter on the table
CLACK CLACK?
>Skeleton Musician picks up the letter and starts reading it
CLACK CLACK, CLACK CLACK CLA-
>Skeleton Musician is instantly burnt to ash!
>The letter drops to the floor harmlessly but still burning
>>44119427
Clack.
>>44119479
What about me scares you?
>>44119514
NOOOOOOOOOOOO
Why? WHY?
>>44119479
Right, sorry. Just...not a lot of interaction with living things, you forget that sort of thing. I...hope I'm not coming across as too crazy, but then again with mages, what qualifies as crazy anymore?
So, what's your magical specialty?
>>44119383
I can see that. Wouldn't want to get brained by that thing!
>>44119410
I would, but he is on the other side of the world... or wherever Tenebrus is located. I want you to enjoy the look on his face when he realises he is inadvertently saving all those oppressed people that haven't been turned to thralls yet.
>>44119427
Undead performers! Can you play High Storms of the Hydromancer?
>>44119479
For you, that's just good survival instincts.
>>44119514
Awwwwww... I wanted to hear them play.
>>44119516Shut the fuck up before I ram my tibia down your throat you little bitch
I MEAN
CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLA-
>>44119514
>Skeleton Warrior is caught in the effect!
>Skeleton Warrior is instantly burnt to ash!
>>44119550
She almost made a swing at me when I popped up on her shoulder, convinced me she must have good survival instincts.
>>44119571
Noooooooooooooo!
>>44119514
>>44119571
I guess someone's gotta do it, then.
>he attempts to pick up and open the letter
>>44119556
Yes, well... Uh...
S-shut up.
>>44119536
..Well..your glare is pretty scary..and..well..that's all..i'm just a redrobe and..i'm pretty scared of everyone really..forgive me sir.
>>44119550
..Chronomancy.
>>44119556
..I guess..
>>44119637
...Oh.
That's...that's pretty deep stuff. Remind me to NOT get on your bad side once you past the redrobe stage. There anything I can help you with?
>>44119571
Welp. Guess that's dealt with.
Rolled 17 + 3 (1d20 + 3)
>>44119629
>Roll to not turn into Magic-Casting Tendies you lucky fuck
>A 12 year old boy leaps into the room
Did someone want me to play a song?
>>44119637
Nah, perfectly understandable.
You're just a redrobe, after all. Survival instincts.
Rolled 13 (1d20)
>>44119701
>>44119718
Hello Justin.
Don't think anyone mentioned songs. But an undead musician just got incinerated.
>>44119700
Uh..nothing I can speak of..
And..I wouldn't hurt you..
>>44119723
...Professor, you're interestingly..nice for a um..teacher.
>>44119773
Oh, that's sad. Oh! I'm gonna play a song.
>Magic fills the room with music as he sings this song https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4FuqVbwifk
>>44119630
Thank you for that wonderful reaction.
>>44119637
You have good survival instincts, I saw it the moment we met. Put them to use and you may just graduate after all.
>>44119718
You can, but I hoped that I would see an actual skeleton musician play. Just play them out, something to commemorate their brief but glorious appearance.
>>44119773
I actually did... just before the undead musician got incinerated.
>>44119796
Well, I am considerably more mellow than my fellow teachers, yes.
>>44119833
Nice.
>>44119870
Yes, well... uh...
>Harrumph
>>44119870
>Too late >>44119833
>>44119796
Yeah, well I'd rather not risk it. I've had enough mishaps with temporal fuckery for one lifetime if it's all the same.
>>44119752
>The letter succeeds in giving you 2nd-degree burns!
>Luckily you have clothes and flesh and organs so you don't become an ash pile like the skeletons, just horribly burned and perhaps disfigured but hey magic fixes all problems right?Next time cast a fire shield on yourself retard
>As you try to read the letter only a single word appears, written in what seems to be boiling blood:A S T R I D
>Shortly after reading the letter burns itself to crumbles, and you are the only one to have read its contents
>>44119947
Uh...
Anyone want to help here? Pretty sure half my face is missing.
>>44119883
I win.
>pic
>>44119886
>I saw
>>44119912
Speaking of temporal fuckery, don't take short cuts through the Chronomancy Department. I did that yesterday, thankfully I eventually ended up just 5 hours in the past, but it was a rough ride.
>>44119986
Not mu school of spells, but I can call a medicaster. So, what did the letter say?
>>44119870
..Thanks..
>>44119883
Heh...
>just looks at him, blinking
>seems very curious
>>44119912
True..
>>44119947WHY.
>>44120022
Hey! Who are you?
>>44120001
>Harrumps harder
>>44120022
Something interest you about me?
>>44119947
>>44119986
Ha, you got the shit beat out of you by a letter.
>>44120001
I really can't think of anything that would require me to go through there...but thanks for the heads up.
>>44120001
>he looks somewhat reluctant (or at least as his charred face allows him to), as if the contents were simultaneously confusing and disturbing
>he slightly cowers away from Astrid's general direction
Please do.
All it said was "A S T R I D," in blood that looked like it was... boiling?
>he gives into pain
>>44120022
So, how has your day been so far?
>>44120042
She is under the protection of Cunabula, don't try anything.
>>44120059
So, did you tell Lazarus?
>>44120088
You're welcome.
>>44120106
...
>scratches her chin
So, who sent it now again?
>>44120106
>gets to work healing his burns
>>44120042
Huh?
Um..Astrid.
>>44120059
>she snaps out of it
Huh? Um..nothing..nothing sir.
>turns away, a bit embarrassed
>>44120123
Pretty fine. I wasn't threatened with being thrown into a space time continuum rift..
>>44120106
....What?
>she looks at him
>>44120123
What? But Auntie Quin, me and Cuna are friends! Why would you think I would do something bad...
>He's on the verge of tears that you would suggest such a thing, you monster
>>44120123
>Screws his face up
Yes, fine.
>Veilhex goes completely still for a few moments
Right, I told him. Then I dove back in because I'm afraid to hear what he told me to tell you in retaliation.
>>44120169
Hmm...
That didn't seem to be nothing.
>>44120169
...Astrid, what did you do?
>>44120169
That's always a plus.
>>44120176
Sorry, general reaction, trying to get word to go around. If it makes you feel any better I snapped Veilhex too, and he is probably the kindest necromancy that ever was.
>>44120198
Thank you.
>>44120198
I-I promise, it was nothing sir!
>>44120227
..Wh..I don't..know..
..unless this is retaliation for me killing two people.
>>44120247
>she shrugs
>>44120247
If he comes back angry at you, or worse, thinking himself some kind of heroic good guy, it's on your head.
>>44120279
It wasn't nothing...
But I'm sure I'll find out in time.
>>44120143
>comes to
>>44120169
Don't ask me. The thing just exploded in my face. You're not involved with pyromancy, sanguinomancy, or explosion...mancy, are you?
>>44120279
. . .
Yeah. That might have something to do with it.
>>44120298
Hmm... Worth it!
>>44120304
So, where did that letter come from?
>>44120279
Weren't those two redrobes as well?
>>44120361
We'll see if you say that when he gets back...
>>44120308
They were just deaths. They happen all the time.
>>44120384
Yeah, but it's usually people blowing themselves up! It's different when someone else does it!
I mean...Astrid, WHY did you kill them?
>>44120298
>gulps
O..Ok sir..
>>44120304
>shakes head no
Chronomancy..
>>44120308
Why does everything bad happen to me..
>>44120361
..The first was a redrobe..the second was a guy in this weird..hazmat-like suit..with a crowbar like mine..and he had this strange device that caused negative gravity..
>She's talking about Gordon Freeman
>>44120384
I regret nothing!
>>44120361
Some messenger just came up to deliver it. The guy was pretty nervous, and I may have accidentally knocked him out from sheer fright.
Speaking of which, he should still be lying there.
>>44120416
I'm sure you will in time.
>>44120408
Not true!
About half the deaths in my department come from someone else.
>>44120409
I'm sure you have nothing to worry about.
>>44120247
Okay...
>He sniffs and wipes his eyes of tears
>Fuck captcha
>>44120409
Sorry, did you say you were Astrid? That's a nice name!
>>44120408
..Both of them were...attacking me. I had to defend myself..
>>44120450
>shivers in fear and hides behind veilhex, grabbing his back tightly
Pleasenopleasenopleasenopleasenopleasenopleasenopleasenopleasenopleasenopleasenopleasenopleasenopleasenopleasenopleasenopleasenopleasenopleasenopleasenopleasenopleasenopleasenopleasenopleasenopleasenopleaseno...
>>44120500
>is too busy freaking out behind veilhex to notice
>>44120502
Uh... kid? You ok?
You don't have like, PTSD, do you?
>>44120409
Ah. Ok, that second guy might have something to do with this.
>>44120445
Well, go see if you can wake him up then.
>>44120450
Pretty sure I won't, what's the worst he can do to me?
>>44120500
Want some apology ice cream?
>>44120502
Don't worry, the meeting hall to archive death ratio is in your favour, if you are going to die it will likely be after the meeting is over. So calm down a little bit.
Rolled 14 + 8 (1d20 + 8)
>[spoilerDefinitely A Second Messenger definitely does not roll to hide thrallishness with illusory magic + bonus from enchanted necklace nope not at all[/spoiler]
Ah excuse me for bothering you from whatever it is you mages do here, but there wouldn't happen to be a letter sent to this guild earlier today was there? Perhaps sealed with a serpent and or slightly burnt?
I must apologize, there may have been a slight, very slight mistake in delivery. You see, while it was addressed to the Mages Guild, it was intended for another Mages Guild that had just recently formed out in another kingdom. My master, er the one that I've been hired by rather, has asked that I retrieve this letter so that it can be delivered to its proper recipient.
So, do any of you have the letter or has it not come by yet?
>>44120524
Psssst. Hey Kid. Get in my be- err Coc- errrr what what ever the inside of a tank is called. And wipe your feet off
>Lols his tongue out down to the ground in the form of stairs
>>44120558
N-No..I'm just really scared..
>>44120568
That doesn't help at all!
>>44120570
Wait..that message was for a different Astrid?
..Phew..
>>44120583
...No.
>says this with unusual firmness
>>44120568
No, I'm fine. How has Cuna been? I haven't seen her in a while.
>>44120558
Mister holographic Doomblight, why is Astrid hiding behind you?
>>44120570
The OTHER mages guild?
>takes a deep breath
DIBS ON THE DEATH RAY!
>>44120583
Frank, Mort gave me his blessing to use this gem on you, so please stand still.
>>44120568
Uh...
Where'd he go?
>>44120568
You'd be surprised.
>>44120570
That was already open. It nearly killed a man!
>>44120623
The question just occurred to me as well.
>>44120622
How are you cowering behind me? I'm not physically here.
>>44120649
Oh, gods.
Rolled 14 (1d20)
>>44120649
>Runs over Quin
>>44120622
Why not?
Rolled 11 (1d20)
>>44120623
Busy with her studies I guess, only... four months I think, until she is allowed to travel to another plane.
>>44120661
Not a clue, but I am calling dibs on blowing up the competition with the death ray. I won't let Pierre have all the fun.
>>44120662
Probably.
>>44120666
HEY! No cheating, I got a guild to blow up!
>dodge, dodge, dodge
>>44120622
. . .well, I guess that's res-
>>44120649
oh gods dammit not this again.
>>44120662
...W-Wai..
>realizes she is hiding behind a hologram
..Please forgive me for my idiocy..
>>44120685
Hundreds of reasons.
>>44120733
Well-
>>44120720
>stares and screams in terror
OH GODS!
>>44120733
Sam! Help! My body has turned into an M1A2 Abrams main battle tank!
>>44120720
>He drives over and back up on you for good measure.
>>44120756
Do you want to help your fellow mage?
Rolled 16 + 8 (1d20 + 8)
>>44120622
>>44120662
>Definitely A Second Messenger definitely does not roll to continue to hide thrallishness with illusory magic + bonus from enchanted necklace nope not at all
Oh I'm terribly sorry for any troubles caused by the letter, you see it was sealed with a smoldering security spell, made to harm any who laid eyes on its contents unless they were the intended recipient.
I am, uh, certain that the letter was indeed definitely meant for another Astrid, or an acquaintance of this other Astrid that definitely does exist, yes that's it I am sure.
Anyways, I don't suppose you could bring me this letter so that I may deliver it to the other Mages Guild, hmm?
>>44120570
Well, yes. Emphasis on "had" the letter.
>gestures at injuries
It kind of disintegrated after spontaneously combusting.
Who's going around sending these things anyway? Are you aware that your client is responsible for the deaths of TWO innocent skeletons?
Rolled 11 (1d20)
>>44120769
>Tries to influence you to go away with magical music https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RI4SzEb5tog
>>44120733
Oh yes, this will be my chaaaaaaaaa-
>gets run over
>>44120756
I'll be baaaaack!
>>44120769
>is very, very flat
>>44120774
I think it might have disintegrated itself.
>>44120756
Perfectly understandable.
>>44120720
I'm sure you will be.
>>44120774
..Well..uh...
um..
>looks at the smoldering ashes of the letter
>>44120814
...
>>44120819
..Er..Professor Doomblight?
>>44120844
Yes?
>>44120769
..Not..really..
>>44120858
..I..kind of want..uh..to..um..meet..you in person..when you get back?
>looks at him, embarrassed as she says this
Rolled 14 + 8 (1d20 + 8)
>>44120810
>>44120819
>>44120844
>Definitely A Second Messenger definitely does not roll to hide thrallishness with illusory magic + bonus from enchanted necklace nope not at all
Oh
Well, um
A-Are you sure you don't have it anymore?
This m-m-might, well
Might be a -small- problem for me then
eheh, um are you positiveASIDE TO SELF: Master will not be pleased by this, first they know about it now no letter to return with. Master will punish me for sure oh she will take away more of my organs and stuff me with small game again ohhhhhhhhhh
>To you lot it just looks like the Second Messenger is about to piss his pants just like the first one
Rolled 3 (1d20)
>>44120812
>Plays magical Trevor over the his speakers
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=au3-hk-pXsM
>>44120814
Now take the gem and give it to a squirrel or something.
>>44120871
Don't you?
>>44120915
Well, sure.
>>44120924
I saw it burn up, yes.
>>44120819
>is too crushed to answer
>>44120844
>looks dead
>>44120931
>doesn't answer
>>44120812
wait, I'm a tank....
>Rides off playing ride of the Valkyries.
>Nothing good will come of this you ninny
>>44120996
>You still have a head!
>>44120979
>calls the medicaster again
>>44120931
>>44120979
..I can't really help her because..she is..kind of..
>eye twitches
>>44120970
T-Thank you..
>>44121017
>Yes but I have the body of a tank!
>You hear a faint I'M GOING TO BLAST MY HOT LOAD ALL OVER YOUR STUFF MINOTAUR!
