ITT: best time you've had playing D&D?
>be me
>playing 3.5 with best bro
>I play half-Orc barbarian named G'wreg w/ nat 18 strength, and nat 8 int. (not certain about charisma, but it was 11-13.)
>bro plays middle aged female wizard named Debonara (Deb for short.) w/nat 15 int an nat 18 charisma.
>group's pretty chill, occasional weird characters are welcome.
Side note: we started at lv. 5/6, can't remember. DM wanted to get to the meat of action sooner.
>anywho, we've never met before IC, except for Deb and G'rewq. As Deb put it, "I've been taking care of him for a long time."
>party just mehs it off
>we leave town
>first combat
>3 Goblins jump out at us, typical stuff.
>G'rewq makes high pitched squeal
>everyone covers ears
>G'rewq wins initiative due to goblins not knowing what satanic anus just shat that noise out
>G'rewq grapples nearest goblin while making little burbling noises and pissing himself
>Deb shouts "NO, G'REWQ! BAD!" And then proceeded to hit goblin with fireball, distressing G'rewq and causing him to drop the goblin, but he was unharmed.
>Deb runs over to fiery, agonized goblin muttering a hasty "I'msosorryI'msosorry" before blasting another goblin with a fireball while shouting "NO G'REWQ! BAD!"
>group has no idea what to make of this.
>goblins have no idea what to make of this
>G'rewq has no idea what to make of this. The goblins were a little distracting, very fun to hug.
>Bro and I go down the line hug-searing everything
>MFW bro and I made a tard and wrangler combo meal.
Games stories are like dreams. They're not really interesting, except to the people who experienced them first hand.
I actually laughed out loud at this
>>44095859
kek
>Be me
>Speak ada Chineee
>Friend offering us a game
>Fuckyes.fuck
>We chargen now boyz
>I ask him if samurai is okay
>He says only if I can moonspeak
>I tell him I can
>He calls me on my shit
>I slay his ears with some of that glorious mandarin
>He keks and lets me play my Syrinx Samurai
>He's also fat as sin, this Syrinx
>Like block most of a dungeon fat
>Kinda went to shit but for the most part was fun
2nd Edition AD&D, I had a Berserker from the fighter's handbook. With the absolute minimum stats - whatever they were and he basically sucked ass. I'd make him go beserk and the party would have to do everything they could to keep him alive. We played on Greyhawk and in the dungeon we were in, my beserker eventually was turned to stone by a cockatrice. The party, who didn't have anyone that could undo the effect shrugged and left him where he was figuring he was probably safer as a statue.
>Player forgets to make a character before session
>After about 30 minutes, decides he wants to make a sun elf
>DM says those aren't a thing in this setting
>"Can he be a high elf who THINKS he's a sun elf?"
>DM says fine because we need to get started
>Names his PC Amman Rah
>It's my human paladin, a dragonborn swashbuckler, a human stronk monk, and Amman.
>A town is in trouble with demon raids, we have been tasked with deciding which of three roads is the safest
>Amman asks if there are any magic users in the town
>There's a young girl with some clerical abilities
>Amman keeps asking about this girl
>It's getting creepy
>I decide to stop him by having the party decide which road to start on
>We choose one that he doesn't like, so he decides to leave
>Out of the window
>Of a three-story building
>After taking minor damage and continuing to walk, Vincent (the monk) decides to follow him
>This leaves the swashbuckler, Salus, and my paladin, Hans to go on the road we had decided on.
1/2 or 3
>>44097167
2/3
>Salus and I encounter a man on the road
>He's an old paladin. A bit wacky but kind nonetheless
>The NPC, Falknar, tells us there are some ghouls in the road
>It's a brief fight, and the DM switches to Amman and Vincent
>They come across a hooded figure
>As they approach him, he summons multiple hellhounds, who charge the PCs
>Amman attacks the hellhounds with a fireball
>DM, with clear confusion in his voice, describes how little the hellhounds seem to give a shit
>Vincent takes on first hellhound in hand to hand, gets a bit roughed up.
>Amman attacks the hellhounds again.
>With a fire spell.
>Amman somehow manages to kill the other hellhound and summoner while Vincent struggles with his
>Vincent utters the best line I have heard in my entire life
>"HELP ME, YOU USELESS PEDOPHILE!"
>Amman gets upset, uses some AOE spell to kill the hellhound, almost killing Vincent in the process, and storms off to road #3
>The other PCs meet back at the town, but I'll get to that later
2/3
>>44095859
>best time you've had playing D&D?
One time we were going to play DnD, and ended up playing something else.
>>44097254
3/3
>Amman makes his way to road 3
>Hears a female voice behind him
>"All alone, are we?"
>Tries to run away, but the voice continues
>Levitates away, but the spell is broken before he gets away
>Amman turns around
>It's a succubus
>He tries to hit on her and fails beautifully
>Long story short, she mind controls him into killing the other PCs, and gives him a magical book as a "reward"
>PCs meet back at town, Vincent and Falknar become instant best friends
>Party walks into town, and all collectively say "Son of a bitch!"
>Everyone's dead
>We find an Oni tormenting the aforementioned girl
>During the fight, Salus is knocked out, but the girl heals him
>We manage to defeat the Oni in a string of tactics involving me blinding it and Vincent bursting through the wall like the Kool-Aid Man
>Vincent and Falknar head off to get a drink just as Amman shows up
>Hans and Salus hear a noise, which was the keg in Falknar's hands exploding into flame
>Salus and Hans rush in, and Salus is the first to be close enough to hit
>Nat 1. He hits the book
>Amman and everything around him light up in a magical explosion as Amman screams "I AM A GOLDEN GOD!"
>Hans and a (once again dying) Salus are trapped under rubble
>The succubus shows up, and gives Hans a choice
>She takes Salus's soul as Hans watches, or she takes both souls
>I drop the ball, try to reason my way out of it
>Salus eventually fails his death saves, and his soul is taken
>Hans is stricken with grief and self-loathing
>Vincent is stricken with grief, and becomes a paladin in Falknar's honor
>Vincent eventually drops the whole paladin thing and trains as a monk again
>Amman Ra. A brainless bastard. A useless pedophile. A golden god.
There were five of us. We were all humans, I rolled the only wizard and wasn't evil as shit.
Me, wizard
A rogue
Two warriors
A bard
>Be wizard
>Sob story, dad hated me and named me after footwear
>Learn magic
>Escape abusive home
>Get old, pic related what I played
Not much there. The game started off with me getting challenged to a wizard duel.
>I prep a fireball
>Duelist quickscopes me with a wand
>Nothing happens to me
>Fireball flies, duelist dies.
>Shrug it off. Go to loot dude.
>Crowd stats gathering
>"What's that woman doing?"
Wait, woman?
>Turn around to find 'woman'
>See reflection
>20-something, redhead woman.
>He hit me with a high level illusion spell
Well, I'll just use the wand to...
>Fireball broke the wand
>fuck.png
I'm still an old man, I just look like some random chick now.
>Party rolls up, rogue hits on me.
>He caresses my cheek, feels old man beard.
>Flips shit
>Explain predicament, start quest.
CONT
>>44099186
It was the most boring module ever. Nothing ever happened.
The highlights were:
>Fight goblin hoard
>Visit elf king
>Slap portable hole over my junk and hide a celestial monkey inside with an onahole so I could prostitute myself for money.
You heard me.
I looked like a 20-something redheaded woman. I could use my 'wiles' to seduce men for money.
It was the rogue's idea and the two warriors threatened me with violence if I refused.
>Celestial monkey couldn't stay summoned forever
>Use celestial monkey to train regular monkeys to hold onahole
>Monkeys grow restless
>No food, no fun in portable vagina hole
>Use magic to expand the hole interior, about a basketball court size now
>Shove dirt and a tree inside so they can swing on it or some shit between onahole shifts
>Enchant vagina hole of holding with spell that makes things inside it not need to eat
>Slow time as well so the monkeys don't die, spell critical hits.
>Inside of hole moves 60^6x slower than normal time.
>Fast forward 10 in game years.
>Forget about hole personally
>Not sure the exact math, but the inside of the hole aged about 50 million years or so.
>Wrapping up story
>Curse removed
>Still only good character
>Everyone turns on me
>4 on 1
>ohshit.jpg
>Hold up portable hole
>"Now monkeys! Defend me!"
>Neanderthals jump out of hole
>wat.png
>Everyone dies from angry savages
>Good end to bad module
>>44099660
Time would need to go faster in the pocket dimension, not slower. Slowing time would make less time pass inside of the hole than outside. 10 years comes out to about 0.006 seconds or something.
>>44095859
>ITT: best time you've had playing D&D?
My best time I ever had playing D&D was the night the DM brought a 24 pack of cheap beer and a full bottle of rum he said was leftover from a party and he needed to get rid of it. So between me, the DM, and the 5 other players at the table, we got rid of it all and had the funniest game that night ever.
But D&D itself is pretty shit.
>>44099660
>Slow time
>age 50 million years in 10 game-years
Wait a minute...
After about a dozen sessions with my very first rpg, I had the best experience ever. We played Pathfinder. I was playing a human barbarian. He was a rather naked Conan ripoff up to this point although I did like the occasional pun upon dispatching an enemy.
The party was investigating a series of murders in town. There seemed to be no rhyme or reason to the time or place of the killings. The victims had nothing in common. In fact, a few appeared to have been killed by an animal but there were no tracks or other signs of the killer.
Finally, we caught a break. The killer was interrupted with his latest victim. A house guard nicked the killer with an arrow. "If it bleeds, we can kill it." My character was truly born in that moment. Ulf, the 80s action hero in a fantasy setting. He dispatched enemies with a line and had a constant barrage of trash talk during or even at the prospect of combat.
The GM played along as we tried to find the killer. I was presented with and encouraged to act out a few small scenes or actions from Predator (confronting the bugbear, which was hunting people for sport, with a torch in the darkness and a war cry, for example). Best GM I've ever hard and I miss that game greatly.
