>The GM tells you his new GF is playing today
JUST
>>44083652
Can't be any worse than his old GF. This one might actually be fun to have around.
>>44083652
>>44083652
This has surprisingly never gone poorly for me.
>>44083652
in two of the three campaigns I am in at the moment, the DM's girlfriend/fiancee is in the party
in the third game,i am the DM
Only had one experience with this, and it was bad.
>hey guys, my girlfriend REALLY wants to play and she read up on the rules so it'll be okay
>fine
>she seems totally disinterested
>shows everyone her character sheet
>XENA is character name
>Warrior Princess is class
>Weapon listed as "Throwing Ring"
>oh boy here we go
>she keeps referring to things from the Xena setting despite current setting having no relation
>screeches the LILILILILILILIIII battlecry at all times
>we have to speak to the current mayor about an ongoing issue we'd been handling
>she throws the chakram at the mayor and declares it beheaded him
>DM chuckles nervously and rolls some dice while she stares him down
>Y-yeah, you beheaded him!
>she puts on the mayor's hat
>I'M THE MAYOR NOW
I'm cringing just remembering this shit.
>>44084490
It it wasn't for the fact I knew my friend didn't browse /tg/, I would have assumed you were him.
My gf is in the party of the two games I run, while my friend runs a game with both her and I in it.
>>44084630
Yeah, i'm the only one who browses 4chan in my circle, everyone else are pretty solid redditors.
I also thought you were a friend for a split second, but after reading your post, I have come to the conclusion that you are not.
>>44084606
>Kill the mayor, be the mayor
Seems pretty legit
>>44084606
>she puts on the mayor's hat
>I'M THE MAYOR NOW
>>44084606
>Look at me
>LOOK AT ME
>I'M THE MAYOR NOW
>>44084843
Hungry Usain Bolt.
I'm the GM and this chick isn't even my GF but O, do I love her.
>Round up all rolls against her
>Any attempted trades go swimmingly for her
>Offer the illusion of Challenge but she always ends up on top
When will you notice me?
>>44084949
betamax
>>44084606
Things that are funny but never happened for 500 alex
>>44083652
My biggest problem with this is the unabashed favoritism shown to the significant other
They get the special mcguffin
They get the one roll that misses
They are the one not exposed to the poison cause they are out of range
That shit gets tiresome
>>44085454
my girlfriend plays in my group, but I never show favoritism toward her. If anything I use it as a chance to mess with her by having most things go wrong or by putting her in super uncomfortable situations.
The only remotely similar experience I had was when one of my players refused to show up, and chose to play video games with his internet boyfriend instead.
>>44084090
Fuck, this made me laugh way more than it should have.
>>44084606
HAHAHAAHAHHAHAH GREAT.
Greatly awful though, but still would read again/10.
>>44084606
>she seems totally disinterested
someone who's disinterested doesn't burst into LILILILILII every now and then
>>44084949
>acting like a doormat
>expecting the girl to look down to notice you
>expecting her to join the doormat down on the ground
Yeah, okay, good luck with that, anon.
>>44088925
that's such a fucking good analogy anon.
Had this great GM who would flake out on game night to try and meet girls. Couldn't blame him for it but gave him shit, anyway. Mets this girl we all think is out of his league and things get worse as fast as gaming goes for a while u til the fateful day he tells us she's going to join our game.
Everyone expects the worst.
Game night with her comes and it's incredible. She knows the basics and just needs minor help with the rules. She has good deas, inspires some fun roleplay... even improves the air quality as nerds apparently can't fart in front of a pretty girl.
They stay together. She only stops playing after they're married and they have babies. One day she says she stopped so her husband wouldn't have to think twice about having gae night. She much preferred her husband playing rpg's with his buds than maybe going out, drinking, etc.
Smart girl.. and she's the reason we've all been gaming together for way over 10 years.
Deep down, I am a seriously jealous shit.
>>44083652I have been that guy
Guys, NEVER bring your gf to the table UNLESS:
1. You both can separate in-game and out-game relationships.
2. She's already got some rp experience under her belt.
and 3 . Your group is accepting of newcomers and doesn't consist of any douchewads.
This can get awkward for both parties.
>>44089263
>tfw I'm that GM
>gf told me after 2-3 years of dating "it's cool if you want us to stop going out so you can get your games on"
>told her that it's the opposite and I'd give up my games for her, gotta get those brownie points son
>she smiles like she's saying 'okay, do it'
And I've regretted losing my purity ever since.
>>44091077
You played with fire, anon.
>>44088925
I'm sure you're crushing pussy.
>>44091077
TWO TO THREE YEARS??
She's using you for something if you two haven't married yet, you got drugs or money?
>>44084606
>>44084776
Animal Crossing: New Leaf RPG got dark
>>44091077
dont stick anything into crazy
>>44084606
>>I'M THE MAYOR NOW
"Yes hun, you are the mayor. Once you wear his hat, it eats your brain and assimilates you."
But let me guess, guy was too much of a pussy to do it.
>>44093076
i dont like using this term but that guy was beta
>>44084606
>this
>ever happening
>>44091077
That smile was probably a "bitch please" smile, she knows you are just fishing for brownie points.
>>44085454
>tfw my gf tends to have the worst luck of anyone at the table.
>has suffered more character deaths (2 in games I've run, 3 in games ran by others) than anyone else we play with.
>Fails almost every save ever
>>44091056
I find that there's another pretty easy way for her to be involved:
4. You're playing with people who are your actual friends in real life and not random schmucks you only hang out with to play TTRPGS
Then again, my gf and I play most of our games with people we know from high school
>>Be GM
>>Want to start up new game
>>Friend wants his gf to play
>>"Ok, what's the worst that could happen?"
>>They antagonize each other the whole session and I end up calling it off early because they were getting mad
>>Haven't played since that first session, nearly two months ago;_;
>>44092797
>What? You haven't made (what is supposed to be) a life long commitment after only 2-3 years?
Are you brain damaged?
Idk about you guys but my gf was my best player. Sadly the campaign ended due to that guy being a rageing asshole and that other guy commiting suicide via retardation
>>44093434
Common mentality if 2-3 years is a significant fraction of their life. Recurs around middle age when things get desperate.
>>44093261
Them being your actual friends and being awkward around grill is not mutually exclusive. I'm friends with more than a few fedorameister mouthbreathers. Sure they're fun to hang around with most of the time, just not in when the opposite genders involved.
>>44084090
>tumblrina getting dominated by a neckbear
it's perfect
>>44091077
It's your own damn fault for telling such a dumb lie. If its veracity can be tested with a single sentence, it's a dumb lie.
>>44092797
My aunt and uncle didn't tie the knot for like ten years.
Stop pretending to be a functional human being. You're terrible at it.
I have about a 50/50 experience with "DM wife/gf" joining the game.
First time, bitch was borderline retarded and ruined the game. Her husband, the DM, was also a spineless idiot, though, so nothing of value was lost.
Second time, she was hilarious and awesome, and her husband/DM is the best DM I ever had. Still play with them frequently.
Third time, wife was a screeching banshee but pretty good at RP and invested in the game. Overall I'm willing to give GM wives a shot. It can go horrible but it can turn out well, too.
What always works out best is if a PLAYER brings a wife/GF, so the DM isn't preferential to them
>>44083652
>Be playing D&D with group for about 6 months
>DM decides to bring girlfriend
>Everyone's ok with it, what could possibly go wrong?
>She shows up next session
>Not really interactive, DM helps her with her character sheet and the rules
>Gets in character a bit, catches onto the rules pretty quickly
>A year later, she was still in the group, as active as anybody else in the group.
>DM doesn't play favorites(much, beyond the occasional "Whoops, you rolled a 1? I didn't see it, roll again.") and even has bad guys smack her character down when it's appropriate for them to(but not so much that he was singling her out).
>Another year later, DM and his GF move away for college
Not always bad times.
>>44093728
My parents only got married when I was.....seventeen I think? Just weren't that bothered by the idea, wasn't like everyone didn't know they were a stable long-term couple at that point.
Posted this before in a similar thread.
>DM wants to introduce his wife to DnD
>everyones kinda iffy on it
>takes our awkward attempts at telling him we're not comfortable with this as a "we're comfortable with this"
>brings her in
>shes drop dead gorgeous like shes on a night out
>2 of the less socially adept members go catatonic
>introductions made and we finally are going to get to the game
>dm stops everything
"She doesn't have a character sheet. Figured we could all help her."
>group takes 3 hours to get her set
>group members fought each other the entire time deciding exactly how her character would look to what she wore and her traits and even a trademark
>entire time she'd say maybe one thing or a small comment like "i always imagined her being short" or "i don't want her to come off as a slut"
Reasonable requests i get it but it made them go for each others throats redefining her entire character around being short or having smaller breasts.
>finally get to playing the game
>entire time for character creation she's trying to make sure her character isn't the group sexy bimbo
>first thing the dm describes is her character diddling a waitress on her lap and making out in the tavern corner
>wife giggles
>finally get out of town after an hour of them pseudo flirting and half the group jacking off under the table
>first dungeon we find we go crawling
>we're all getting our asses handed to us cept her
>she either magically lands devastating hits or the enemies miss her
>got hit once which called everyone cept me to immediately kill everything around her
>entire session she gets all the loot
>got to the point the party actually gave her some of their loot as well
>got mad at me for not wanting to give her half my shit all the time
>>44093810
>entire time dm's putting her in "sexy" or "provocative" situations and she RP's into it for "shock value"
>session ends with her jumping in his lap and giggling
>DM says sessions over and its time for us to go
Group asked later if she'd be coming back and dm thankfully said no cause she didn't enjoy it enough to sacrifice her saturday nights.
>>44093764
Okay, that's retarded on the complete opposite end of the spectrum.
Not to mention they must have wasted tens of thousands of dollars on lost tax benefits.
>>44084606
That's bullshit but I believe you
>>44085607
This is exactly what happened when my brother DM'd a campaign for us, he killed two of her characters in like five sessions, great times.
>>44091077
Anyone who makes you choose between healthy hobbies or your relationship with them is not someone you should be around.
>"stop having fun or I'm leaving"
That's a good sign that you should end that relationship.
>>44093899
Ah, we're in the UK. Not particularly huge tax benefits to it, afaik.
So I want to teach my boyfriend how to do RPGs. Just simple DnD type things.
What's the best way to go about it? I don't want to coddle him, but I don't want him getting frustrated and losing interest.
>>44083652
Whatever, I'd reserve judgement till after the first session. Hope they don't do any cutesy shit during game time.
>>44084949
When you stop being a chicken shit and softballing her gameplay. She will respect you more if you treat her more like your other players.
>>44094017
Throw him in with a group that had a lot of fun and make it a wacky one-off campaign. He'll have fun and see how crazy things can get before you go back to the cold world of average DnD where death is permanent and crazy only happens by sheer accident.
>>44084606
>Assassination of Warboss Lincoln.png
>>44091056
I agree with 1 and 2, problem with 3 is that if your group are douches you shouldn't play with them
>>44084606
>>XENA is character name
>>Warrior Princess is class
>>Weapon listed as "Throwing Ring"
this right there really bothers me.
he couldn't fucking man up and tell her to put fighter in class and princess in the backstory? or that the weapon has an actual name and not "throwing ring". although that reminds me oft he oglaf comic about the throwing anus
>>44093985
She literally said
>it's fine to play, if you want to
She might have been being a bit passive aggressive and meant "it's not ok" but she just as equally could have meant "I'm not 100% happy with it but it makes you happy so go ahead and play".
Guy replied "no, if it makes you unhappy, I'll stop"
And so she of COURSE said "well, if it were up to me, I'd be more happy if you stopped, so please stop".
That's anons own fault for saying something that wasn't true.
>>44094589
Worst part is she passive aggressived a way to make him change who he is because she didn't like it. Rather than accepting him who he is she thinks its acceptable to change him bit by bit till he's what she wants, "fixing" him as if he's broken goods.
>>44094589
>And so she of COURSE said "well, if it were up to me, I'd be more happy if you stopped, so please stop".
This is the most bullshit statement ever. How the fuck can someone else accurately judge how happy an activity makes someone else??
Hate that shit.
Its funny because I have the opposite problem in my current group.
>Have a lady friend who is *really* into DnD
>We've been RP partners for years - MUD's, vidya games, DnD
>Their marriage sort of fell apart a few years ago but now theyre working it out
>She decides to bring him into our current DnD session
>She makes his character for him - halfsomething Druid, prints out his character sheet and chooses all his spells, generally does all the work for him
>Session starts
>Doesnt use spells, just hits shit with his axe
>Generally disinterested in any RP beyond "I attack the gazebo TOP KEK I'm borrrrred"
>She gets flustered and angry with him, they routinely "take breaks" so she yells at him in private about taking it even remotely seriously
>They routinely leave early so that she can just take him home and save us embarrassment
It physically hurts to watch sometimes.
>>44094700
>lady friend
>>44084606
This is beautifully hilarious. I could imagine some savage warrior chick just beheading a guy and taking his blood covered hat to wear around as she declares herself mayor. The party's face as the town guard roll in and try to figure out what the fuck just happened and without missing a beat the whole party just points at the crazy warrior chick.
If shits gonna go to hell might as well have a good laugh over it.
>>44094700
Have you just asked her not to bring him? Cause that seems like a real easy fix. And before you say that will hurt her feelings realize her actions hurt the group.
>>44094730
>implying
Nah, I'm gayer then the day is long though, for real. I just aint a faggot is all.
>>44094776
Thats a double standard.
The GM of my Shadowrun game brought his gf, and she's honestly perfectly fine.
She's pretty quiet overall and doesn't participate much in the roleplaying aspect, but I can't blame her - for most of the table it's their first time playing. And she doesn't seem completely disinterested, since at one point we had a laugh over our respective characters falling head over heels for the same elf, and seemed happy when she got her hands on a classic AK-47.
She doesn't need to be told what to roll, she follows along with what's happening and doesn't need to be told what to do, she does her job as the gunslinger, and the GM and her are obviously happy together but don't make it weird for the rest of the table.
I've actually been kind of missing her since she got sick/busy and missed a few weeks. Not only is her character really the only character in our party that's skilled with guns, but I'd been suspecting she was warming up to roleplaying and hanging out with the party in general.
8/10 wish all girls in ttrpgs were like this.
>>44094811
You're a goddamn double standard. You ain't my real dad, you can't tell me what to fuckin do.
>BF interested in D&D
>I'm DMing
>Start new campaign with some folks from /tg/
>He makes a brawling, no-nonsense former city guard
>Pretty cool party interactions, his character is generally the stick in the mud when it comes to certain stuff
>Campaign has its ups and downs, finishes after a year and a half and 50+ sessions on a high note
>HE NEVER PLAYS TABLETOP AGAIN
Fuck.
>>44094905
I'm all you have!
>>44094912
Has he just not expressed any interest, or turned down any games? Maybe just ask him if he wants to be in another campaign.
>>44094912
Cockslap him
>>44094017
Can you describe this dude?
I think that makes a huge difference in how best to introduce him.
>never played TTRPGs before
>girl gets me into it
>we have a great time make a bunch of friends
>she askes me out
>we have been banging for 6 months now
How do you people always have the worst experiences?
>>44095034
You got lucky somehow but going by overall record of these sorts of things shes either banging a black dude or you got herpes. Nothing in life is free.
>>44095139
Hahaha what? Dude I think you need to get out and meet more people and not just listen to shit posters online. Most people I know have girlfriends/boyfriends through gaming or their musical tastes
>>44083652
Usually this works out very well.
Let me clarify: most of my gaming group are married couples. Only ONE of the girls played RPGs before getting married. The rest got into it later, usually with their husbands as GM. Most of the women now play.
Prior to us all getting married, we'd occasionally bring in a girlfriend or two. Success rate was about 50%. When it didn't work, no problem, no pressure: they just aren't invited back. Or they choose not to play again.
This isn't rocket surgery. What makes most of these "that guy" tropes so awful isn't that they happen. It's that milquetoast gamers put up with them session after session, trying to find a way to passive-aggressively get "revenge" or push someone out of a group without simply talking to them. They create more drama and misery because they can't just talk to someone openly or kick them out.
>>44095207
I'd still get checked. And check her phone too. Her not letting you see it is a good sign shes hiding shit as a heads up.
>>44095242
>Robot is jealous
>Tries to sabotage Anon's good fortune
Get out.
>>44093278
Hey Ethan! A quick word of advice for the future: if you're adamant about whining behind someone's back on a board you know they frequent literal minutes after talking to them on skype about the same grievance, at least make a passing effort to try disguising the talking points so they aren't identical to the things you were just talking about.
Not only did I explain to you that I'm just trying to run a reactive world and make the setting respond appropriately to the gung-ho brute force methods you insist on employing to solve every situation, (I've told you several times that both Kobolds and Ogres are sentient creatures capable of negotiations, your decision to slaughter them before they can get a word out is on you, not me) but I also said that if you still had a problem with my response we could discuss it as a group next time we met.
But since you decided to do this instead, let me solve this problem for both of us. Don't come back next week.
>>44095232
I dunno man. Last time i asked someone to not comeback as they're ruining the experience for others i had to defend myself in court against rape charges. Thank god the apartment building has camera's. General experience before and after also tayght me women don't like being rejected, even from things they hate.
I DM with my girlfriend as a plyer. I just treat her like a normal player
>>44095266
Glorious.
I've been waiting for this to happen.
Not that I am apart of your group, but I've been waiting for someone to get caught bitching.
>>44084090
>a young Steve Brule attempts to begin a caterer in WWE by slaughtering a swath of civilians with pro wrestling moves
>>44095034
>>44095139
>Met GF while playing D&D with my old group. Friend of a friend type thing, she only played one session
>While setting up a new D&D group about 6 months later, run into her and invite her since she seemed cool
>Started dating about a month later
>Eight years later we're still together and married now.
>Still playing D&D together.
It happens. So do the horror stories though. My old DM brought whoever chick he was currently fucking to D&D. They fell into three categories:
A) There JUST because he asked them to come. Don't like D&D, terrible at it. Lasts one session.
B) Would probably like D&D if my old DM wasn't such a domineering cunt. Get turned off from the game. Lasts two to three sessions.
C) Is already a D&D player and actually asked to join the group. Lasts however long their relationship with the DM lasts, which is usually no longer than a week or two. At which point, she hates him so much she can't stand the sight of him and leaves the group.
>>44095242
Neither of us have STDs dude. It would really be good for you to get out into the real world and not let shit posting sour your life. The internet is fun and all but you really shouldnt let these people impact your life
>>44095310
It's copypasta m8
>>44095326
I never let people bring new bf/gf to game night. If you arent sure they are going to last and you dont have a track record of them lasting Im not letting them fuck up the fun for others.
>>44095326
I dunno man. Seems like your experience is the exception but you treat it like its the majority because it happened to you. Like those people that say marriage worked for them so it worked for everybody whereas in reality 50% end in divorce and the remaing marriages are 50/50 happy/unhappy as of 2013.
>>44095266
I remember that!
That was a wild thread, none of us could tell if it was real or fake.
>>44092797
>TWO TO THREE YEARS??
>She's using you for something if you two haven't married yet, you got drugs or money?
Nice Try Elder Brain. A real human would know how relationships work.
>>44095266
>>44094776
Ayyy you in Cali? Wanna hook up?
>>44084090
MDE!
>>44095442
Yeah! I loved that moment. Fake or not, it was brilliant.
>>44095343
No, not yet, but I hope it turns into copypasta for That Guy threads. I checked 4plebs and it's only been used twice before, and that includes the first time. That thread is worth a read if you have time.
>>44083652
>mfw others people's gfs always seem to be up for games but my gf has no interest in it
>>44095602
Tell her you'll give her a massage or something if she just tries it. Should work unless you're doing that shit already for free.
>>44095546
Nah, in MD. I mean, don't get me wrong, I would want to. But that plane ride, man. Plus I can'ttake my guns there and cuddle you gently while we go into the boonies and hunt for coyote. I'd keep you warm during those cold desert nights.
>>44083652
>GF is your GM
Admit it, this must turn one of you on.
>>44095602
>not using game night as your boys night out away from the gf
You gotta look on the positive side at all times anon or this world will get to you
>>44095652
>she killed my character with a goblin so I pounded her in bed that night
>>44095602
If relationships are anything like friendships, you will not want your gf around all the time forever.
I had a friend in my D&D group, pretty nice guy, but I only ever saw him once a week, maybe a few other times. But when he became my roommate, things that were easy to ignore on a once-weekly basis became annoying, and though our friendship has held, I don't really want to hang out with him much anymore, and it's hard to enjoy conversations.
>>44095725
I want to hear how your character died. And what you do when you beat her monsters.
>>44095632
Damn bb gurl well you wanna play a game of Black Crusade then? Your sense of humor got me like damn so I reckon you'd be fun as tits to have in the campaign.
>>44095812
Take out monsters on that last bit would make it almost self explanatory.
>>44093076
>"Yes hun, you are the mayor. Once you wear his hat, it eats your brain and assimilates you."
>no save deaths to "punish" players
you're just as bad
>>44096569
she's not dead, she's just the mayor now
there must always be a mayor
>>44096591
oh shit nevermind
you have my regards
>>44096591
Jesus, /tg/, sometimes you legit scare me.
>>44083652
LOL yet another healer girlfriend thatll sit to the side and never say a word. . .no problem.
I'd be amazed when one actually says their character leaves the safehouse with us, or exits the car as opposed to just waiting for us to finish and use the excess character for its simple mechanics largely ignoring the player because the player will not rp.
>>44083652
Never seen this be a problem, whether it's my gf, someone else's, or the reverse role where my/someone else's gf is the GM.
Are you sure you're not just delusional? Or playing with shitters?
>>44096751
course there have been some good ones to make a few interesting sessions, but 75% of the time a GF does nothing and my group is cool with this. . .its like when that guys come around, we don't say a word we just play the game. . .they just dont come back.
>>44093261
It seems to me that real life groups typically have even more issues than online ones. Especially ones containing "friends" that you for one reason or another are too beta to throw out.
>GM has no gf and is too awkward to get one
>Focuses all that time into prepping for the campaign instead
>>44097031
>>44096591
>>44096699
We must go even deeper to know the true terror.
>The hat devours certain sections of the brain immediately but leaves others intact at the start
>Parts necessary for movement and bodily regulation are left alone, as well as enough of the parts responsible for personality to ensure the host still seems human instead of like a meat puppet
>No one knows the truth, the hat never comes of a current host's head. Ever.
>The hat eventually devours the other parts of the brain as well but keeps piloting the host until the body is worn out
>During this time the host becomes extremely sociable and kind as the parasite scouts out a new host
>There are no elections, the hat simply detaches itself when it finds a suitable host and infects them
>>44094559
This bothers me for the same reasons
Plus, if she were and actual Xena fan and wanted to be Xena, I could tolerate it as a first character.
But a Xena fan would not call it a "Throwing Ring"
Just bothersome straight down the line.
>The GM, and his gf are balanced adult people who have been playing in the group for 5 years and they haven't done anything that would bother anyone in the group
>>44093728
Don't tell him how he's going to operate, flesh bag.
>>44097310
I'm gonna use this.
>>44095266
I've read this post before. These exact words in this exact order, I swear.
>>44092784
Doesn't matter if he is or not, being a pushover doesn't get chicks interested in you.
>>44098182
Well yeah as a few people pointed out already, its someone trying to force a copypasta.
>>44084606
Thanks, Gaben.
>>44097085
This is my life, I've basically checked out of the dating world so all I do is work on my campaign at home/during work and then play vidya.
Honestly, I'm like 10 sessions ahead in story, and I hate being this far ahead because I just want to keep playing more nights so they can see the story I made.
Everytime this happens, adding a new person to the group, that session is always a one-shot to see how they grok with the group.
If it doesn't work out, ongoing games aren't ruined.
>>44097310
So what does the hat do when the head is suddenly cut away and no one puts on the hat?
>>44098635
how does it feel to know your players will never appreciate all the hard, thankless hours of work and love and creativity poured into your work anon
>>44098635
People will be fags to you
but a deep story is the very reason why we play
Create the anchors anon and stay away from railroads and you will be rewarded as will your players
>>44099257
That's fine. It's to be expected when you are a DM, it's a labor of love so I don't mind at all. I have fun making this world and trying to make fun engaging stories and combats that make my players think instead of just slinging spells and swinging axes until the enemies stop moving.
Plus in the end, if they have fun and come back next week I take solace in the fact I did a good job and I made a fun game session. It's a great pleasure making a product other people enjoy.
Whoops
I'm a female DM and I was planning on starting a campaign that my boyfriend would be playing in
Is this a bad idea?
>>44100590
Yes.
>>44099136
If someone does that then they'll have severely fucked up. The hat can survive a few days without a human/humanoid brain to feed on, a little if it manages to get hold of an animal to tide it over. If it seems unlikely that a host will happen by then the hat will unravel parts of itself until it's got enough fabric to make limbs for transport. By doing this the hat burns precious energy and further whittles down the time it has left, meaning it will become hyper aggressive upon discovering a potential host. Think face huggers from the Alien franchise, or the divider heads from Dead Space: The hat will lunge at the target and entangle their throat and any flailing limbs with its tendrils while it attempts to find purchase. Once in place then the hat would produce several conical teeth with which it would clamp onto the host's head, though this would not be its main method of feeding. Most of the teeth would simply anchor the hat in place by punching through the skull. Others would retract and allow some of the strands of fabric to slip inside and enter the brain to begin the feeding process. The strands would produce a set of chemicals; the first being a digestive acid to liquify grey matter for absorption, and the second a neutralizing agent to prevent total digestion of the brain. Pieces that are devoured would be replaced with fabric to anchor the hat to its host from the inside, preventing removal from the host should the teeth somehow fail.
>>44100590
Maybe? Is your boyfriend good with pen and paper games and isn't just being dragged there because you're DMing? Can you keep relationship issues away from the table?
Generally if you can say yes to both of these, then you should be good.
>>44100838
How about if the hat dies, it unravels into strips of fabric that act as spores or seeds, blown away by the wind?
It wasn't always a hat - sometimes it was a coat, or a glove, or even a boot or a surcoat on someone's armor. In some distant past, it may have just been wool or fur. A shred of its fabric made its way into the clothing and took advantage of it to take over the host, copying the clothing for future reproduction.
>>44100838
Forgot to mention: The hat will remember the fucker that killed its previous host, if it happens to be a PC then the player is in for a nasty surprise if they happen to role through that town again. A parasitic horror beast with the ability to hold a grudge in the guise of a popular and beloved mayor with control over a town and it's resources, to include whatever local militia is in place; pretty good way to punish players that can't keep their murderboners under control for more than five minutes.
>>44100904
I'd say that it would produce some sort of pheromone that would attract moths to it. The moths eat the fabric but a few bits and pieces rub off onto the bug to be transported somewhere else when the moth moves on. The bit about changing into other things is a nice touch. Perhaps the more grey matter it consumes, the bigger the item it can become. Would definitely help keep it hidden from the public when someone notices things going fucky.
>GM just found new gf after 4-year dry spell
>>44095266
that copypasta
>>44095266
Hey Ethan! A quick word of advice for the future: if you're adamant about whining behind someone's back on a board you know they frequent literal minutes after talking to them on skype about the same grievance, at least make a passing effort to try disguising the talking points so they aren't identical to the things you were just talking about.
Not only did I explain to you that I'm just trying to run a reactive world and make the setting respond appropriately to the gung-ho brute force methods you insist on employing to solve every situation, (I've told you several times that both Kobolds and Ogres are sentient creatures capable of negotiations, your decision to slaughter them before they can get a word out is on you, not me) but I also said that if you still had a problem with my response we could discuss it as a group next time we met.
But since you decided to do this instead, let me solve this problem for both of us. Don't come back next week.
This Ethan fella sounds like a real cocksucker.
>Guy wants to bring his new GF to a game session I'm GMing
>Fine whatever
>Short, long hair, crazy eyes
>Has her own set of dice and brings a miniature for her character
>Her character is best described as "big gay dwarf fighter"
>She gets disturbingly into character and talks in a heavy Irish accent the entire time
>Literally doing screams of pain every time her character gets hit and stuff
>Later on, at the tavern, she (or her character, rather) tries her best to get into the bard's pants
>Her boyfriend gets upset
>She explains to him that Cadwr is way too gay to go for his female wizard
I was honestly just fucking confused.
>>44100590
Could be a bad idea.
>>44100860
Follow what this guy said. It's honestly a common sense situation.
>GM: Hey guys, is it alright if my girlfriend join us for this oneshot?
>eyerolls all around, but ultimately the group OKs it
>she shows up, made a drow ranger, throws up a few warning signs already
>GM: wait, you made your own character? -dull surprise-
>session starts, she actually knows the rules, better then her BF, who she corrects a couple of times over the session
>apparently she actually read the manual cover to cover
>she rollplays fairly well, and succeeds in actually being an asset to combat with creative solutions rather the the stereotypical "which die do I roll?" situation.
>she ends up being a permanent addition to the group
It was kind of surreal
>be me
>only play online games after friends move to college town
>meet people online
>gf misses old days of playing tabletops with the lads
>invite gf to games with strangers on the internet, insist she's just an old friend, keep relationship lowkey to avoid can of worms
>players joke about how if i added someone like my girlfriend they'd shit on me
>i laugh, they laugh, i take long drink of water
>been a few months now and gf admitted to me almost every (female) player has been flirting like fucking crazy with her and trying to do online relationship stuff with her because they think she's single because she doesn't talk about her boyfriend
>because if she started, the other players would instantly realize it's me
fuck
i mean it's not like they'd yell at me after all this time if things have been going well
but my gf is also a lowkey slut and enjoys the tension from getting messaged by the other players about sex shit
so it's this comfortable squeeze where fessing up leads to everyone being more understanding and easing up on those kinds of under-the-table activities, but also saying nothing really only affects me and i'm completely fine with it
should i consider sudoku at this point or do i have an admirable situation? I can't even tell any more /tg/
>>44091056
I disagree with 2. Saying she needs RPG experience before she can play is somewhat self-defeating. Run a few one-shots/short campaigns first, or just toss her in the deep end and see what happens.
Then again, half my group are women and they're far more enjoyable to play with then their male counterparts. Far more interested in the story and the characters.
>>44102287
I don't see anything wrong with this, except maybe the screaming in pain part
fujoshis are cool with me
>>44102706
Set up a gangbang
>Main group consists of the GM and his wife, my fiance and I, and another couple
>GM and wife have both run games, never play favorites, roll with the punches and heckle each other a little but never outright start fighting
>The wife is less RP-inclined and mostly rolls hard-hitters with simple motivations, but she pays avid attention and is the official note-taker every session
>Fiance has GMed a couple sessions, never fudges rolls for me and we have a good laugh when I fuck up terribly
>Other couple is a high-strung chick and her goofy boyfriend, both kind of lolrandumb but they balance each other out
>Get in OOC arguments sometimes about IC things but the rest of us break it up fast
>Other guy drifts in and out of games, brings his wife sometimes, she's not into RPGs but picks up NPCs occasionally and makes decisions well enough
>Ironically the only guy we've had issues with was an old friend of the GM, a single dude who's consistently been a pedantic asshole while the rest of us just want to chill and have fun
Feels good man.
I think a big part of having a successful group with significant others is having the balls to call out obnoxious behavior and the ability to separate your relationship from the game. If you can't even talk to your girlfriend or boyfriend about how they're acting in a tabletop game, how do you expect to have mature conversations further down the line in your relationship? If someone is toxic enough to pressure you into giving them special privileges in a fantasy world, what are they going to try to weasel out of you in the real world? It's fucked up.
I usually have no problem GMing with my girlfriend on the table, I always open roll, and she always plays meatshields, so she can't really complain that she was in range for that trap, or that her troll slayer dwarf got his arm chopped by a beastman, or that she was in line for that arrow the ranger missed, or that the badgers are hoarding on her because a muscular dude with a halberd seems more of a threath to wild animals than the scrawny dude with a book and the short dude with a curved stick.
The few times she plays casters she usually keeps to either support spells or FUCKING HUGE PILALRS OF FIRE... so no game breaking shit.
The other GM's ex though, he dodged a bullet there.
She has this mary-sue/mahou-shoujo complex, all her characters are pretty much lina inverse/deedlit/any chick from rayerth/daenerys targaryen.
>>44095266
Is this a new copypasta? Because I feel like this is a new copypasta.
>>44102287
There is absolutely nothing wrong with any of this.
>>44092797
Said the one person in the thread with no experience on the subject.
>>44093764
You bastard.
>>44094017
Play naked.
>DM brings girlfriend to game
>She has a reasonable character that fits the setting
>We all have fun
>No drama, no awkward faggotry
>THE END
I feel like you guys are just making stuff up half the time. As I've had this same scenario play out at every game.
>>44103132
I roll to disbelieve.
>>44103132
Same here. Though I already talked about it a bit.
>>44084949
you are ruining her player experience and the player experience of all your other players as well.
>>44088702
i think he means she is totally disinterested when the DM's focus is not solely on her. like on other PCs turns and when describing the surroundings.
>>44088925
the thing that always bothers me about betas is that they always treat women as either things to be gotten/won or as things to be idolized. think about it for a moment, think about your friends that like you and how you (likely) tease them. do you wait on your friends beck and call? if so do they ever seem interested in what you have to say? this is why treating women like items on a pedestal does not work.
>mfw getting girls to notice me is as simple as treating them like actual people
>"bro how do I get girls like me?"
>fuck off
>it really is as simple as treating them like people
>>44085454
Every game my fiancée and I have ever played together, I swear to god, his main goal is killing my character.
>BBEG who should be a TPK at our level?
>Kills my character, flees.
>"He just wanted to scare you guys, btw anon, roll up a new character."
>>44093261
David?
>>44084606
>she puts on the mayor's hat
>I'M THE MAYOR NOW
I laughed for a solid 30 seconds. Whether it's real or not, thank you for posting it anon.
>>44094671
>you know it's fine if you want to do this thing instead of going out with me
>no bby I'd rather spend time with you
>okay sure let's do that
And you have somehow cast her as the villain in this situation.
>>44104311
She used passive aggresion to change an aspect of his life he loved to better suit her needs. Shes shallow enough to believe thats okay. She's terrible enough to force that choice. Shes the villian.
>>44093899
You actually get more tax benefits if you file as single parents. Fuck what are you like 10?
>>44083652
Went absolutely awesome the last time it happened, years ago. She's an even bigger gamer nerd that he is, and ran one of the most awesome "rogues" (actually a monk/inquisitor) that I've ever seen. They got hitched, she's DMing the current Rifts game, and we're having a blast.
>>44084606
Was your DM dating Kharn?
>>44083652
...Well, sometimes it is hard to get into a good rpg group and if you have to fuck a GM to get in then that's just what you gotta do.
I actually had the opposite experience.
The whole group actually knew the DM's girlfriend for a long time before we actually started tabletop.
We tried to get her into the game several times, since she's into all the same nerd shit as the rest of us, but in the end she just never really had the interest, though she didn't begrudge us for trying.
>>44084606
As long as it was in-character
>>44093851
>>44093810
I felt a combination of range and cringe.
>>44095326
The diffrence is your gf played games before you started dating, I know couples like that they do fine, the problem is when someone brings their SO that doesn't play games and is only doing it because their SO does it.
>>44084949
nice bait, it worked quite well with the thread and /tg/'s attitude towards women as a whole
Can only give max 5/10 because you didn't include a game story
I would tell my story about my GM bringing his gf, but since it ends with me banging her behind his back in his own house and he also frequents /tg/ I think giving even slight details might be a poor decision.
>>44105421
I am going to break your legs.
>>44105432
See, I anticipated this sort of reaction.
The details only make it worse.
>>44105421
you are probably a scummy person, and I would not like to be in your presence, let alone play a game with you
>>44105421
>having a kek for a GM
>>44101824
Hey Ethan! A quick word of advice for the future: if you're adamant about whining behind someone's back on a board you know they frequent literal minutes after talking to them on skype about the same grievance, at least make a passing effort to try disguising the talking points so they aren't identical to the things you were just talking about.
Not only did I explain to you that I'm just trying to run a reactive world and make the setting respond appropriately to the gung-ho brute force methods you insist on employing to solve every situation, (I've told you several times that no other character can possibly even touch Uchiha Madara, your decision to challenge him is on you, not me) but I also said that if you still had a problem with my response we could discuss it as a group next time we met.
But since you decided to do this instead, let me solve this problem for both of us. Don't come back next week.
>>44100590
>feels the need to announce gender despite irrelevance
You are already shit.
>>44095601
>used twice before
>not copypasta
It became copypasta the 2nd time it was posted faggot.
>>44099627
Your players are really lucky to have a DM like you, you are a treasure as a DM and the reason TTRPG still live. I love you dude.
No homo, tho.
>>44105608
How many Ethans are we dealing with here?
>>44096591
>>44097310
>>44100838
>>44100929
>>44100904
>>44100966
Fucking hell /tg/.
>>44083652
I've had PC's bring their GF into the game and aside from 1 case they all go horribly wrong.
The one exception though was actually cool as fuck.
>>44104311
you are getting baited so hard. Stop
>>44095308
Same. She's made it clear to me she'll be really pissed if I do treat her differently.
>>44106904
>letting her set the ground rules
You've already lost.
>>44105421
8/10 b8 right here, nice and subtle.
>>44108034
I wish it was bait.
>>44108047
>post six hours old
>replies to reply within 30 seconds
You're kind of giving away now, anon. Don't spoil it, you already got a bunch of fa/tg/uys wondering if their girl diddled around behind their back with one of their buds, just call it a win.
I dunno. I let myboyfriendplay, and I had funfucking his character over
>>44084843
>european_immigration.gif
>>44084606
Wait, is this not how it works in real life?
Here's my tale I suppose.
A year back, my then-gf invited me to a new campaign a mutual friend of ours was running with a couple other new players. It was my first experience with TTRPG and I can honestly say I fell in love with it all then. The group was great, we were having tons of laughs and generally bullshitting around while the DM led us through his story.
My character was the 8 charisma half orc thief that kept being thrust into being the face of the party, mainly because both the high CHA paladin and the ex-gf spent most of the time on their phones. Thankfully the DM insituted a no phones rule soon after.
Everything was running smoothly until the gf and I began the quiet death spiral of our relationship, one which I still have not been told was officially over. It just peetered away when I wasn't looking, I guess.
Despite the our conflict, I still attended the games and did a good job at keeping drama away from the table. I came to play the character, as DnD time transcended petty disputes on my eyes.
One day the DM messaged me out of the blue and told me I was not welcomed back to the group. When I asked him why, as he had never even hinted I was a detriment to the group, I received no response.
I ended up joining an amazing group this year, so it's not as if this girl killed my desire to TTRPG, I just am sad at how everything ended up. My character wasn't even killed off in the game, the DM just waved him out of existence. Last I heard that group fell apart, so that's fine I suppose.
I tried /tg/, but sometimes people just want to delete you from their life without warning, ya'know?
>>44108081
I...
Okay I guess.
>>44108294
>actually waited awhile before responding so as not to appear as though you're eagerly awaiting replies
You're learning, good.
>>44108385
The reason I responded quickly is because 4chan X gives me desktop notifications and I wasn't actually doing anything.
The second time I wrote out a few responses but I couldn't figure out how to respond.
>>44108416
>The second time I wrote out a few responses but I couldn't figure out how to respond
I'd hope so, you gotta play the part well if you want to convince anyone.
>>44108435
I'M NOT BAITING GOD DAMN IT
>>44108438
Alright, alright, I'll lay off. I'd hate to spoil your fun.
>>44108450
I mean, I am baiting in the sense that I only posted because I knew it would get a few nerds seriously riled up, I've told the story before on other boards, usually with more detail, and the reaction is always vitriolic as fuck.
But it's still true.
>>44108486
So post it then pussy
>>44095034
Fuck off Chad.
>>44108539
But the reason I've posted it with more detail before is because my GM doesn't actually visit /v/ or /adv/
>>44108486
It seems that the one who has been baited is you! The baiting has whiplashed!
On a more serious note, was sleeping with your GM's gf worth it?
>>44108555
>hey guys this thing happened
>but i cant give details
>thinking anyone is going to buy what youre saying
Why do you do this to yourself?
>>44108565
He never found out and the gf was a total knockout.
I'd say yeah, it was worth it.She's still the only girl I've slept with
We used to have a couple in our group, and if anything the DM showed me more favouritism than his GF in the one campaign.
Current DM invited his gf to play with us, I personally find her character a bit shit but she stays in character, focuses on the game and really gets involved.
>>44108622
I applaud your audacity. I wish you good luck with future women and many more anonymous posts on 4chan.
>>44108438
I just want to say this post was one of the funnier things I've seen on here in a while.
Kudos to the master baiter.
>>44103506
But what if the way that you treat people is to speak to them only when absolutely necessary and leave them alone otherwise?
>GM introduces the BBEG before any of us can take him on
>He's annoying as fuck
Fuck you Robert stop doing this
>>44108781
Then you'll be alone for your entire life.
>>44108835
>He's annoying as fuck
Elaborate. Shouldn't the BBEG be a hate sink that the PCs want to kill?
>>44108914
Yes but it's not fun if you introduce him and we aren't high enough level to fight him
>>44108835
see
>>44108914
There was that decent screencap of "Sheldon the Shy" or something where the BBEG was just slippery as hell.
The PCs hated him to death, disintegrated the ashes, and erased every trace of him.
That is player engagement.
>>44108996
So...that made you hate him. And the dm. Thats good. you'll make the game fun for the dm then and in doing so fun for yourself. Funny how that works.
>>44109012
Aw shit, I remember that story. Sounded like a great campaign.
>>44108996
There are good and bad ways to this.
The "plot armor" method is bad GMing in my opinion.
The "Good Luck, I'm behind 1000 skeletons" method is pretty standard and works as decent deterrent.
The "He's obviously too powerful for us to fight now" method is okay, but far too meta-gaming for my tastes.
I once had a really annoying BBEG that was lording his power over the PCs when one of them basically said, "Fuck this. I'm armed. I shoot an arrow at his eye."
The BBEG had defenses that let him avoid the shot, but the rogue had such balls and rolled so well that I ruled the shot as having grazed his cheek.
Thus, the BBEG was distracted from the fight and let the guards capture the PCs.
Cue chase scene and the PCs becoming fugitive rebels much earlier than expected.
Now, the BBEG has a scar and reason to target a party weaker than him.
The rogue had fun with graffiti too.
>>44083652
>his new GF
How sad, I liked his old girlfriend. She was a nice girl.
>>44102706
>gf admitted to me almost every (female) player has been flirting like fucking crazy with her
>gf is also a lowkey slut and enjoys the tension from getting messaged by the other players about sex shit
>Every female player has been hitting on your slutty gf and she loves the sexual tension
>Not letting your GF typefuck with the other girl players and masturbating to the logs alongside her
>>44095266
That was such a good thread.
>>44095601
That shit was glorious. I forgot how fun that thread was. Did we ever figure out if it was real or not?
>>44109683
>being a literal kek
>>44093742
So the third wife play a banshee huh
>>44083652
>turns out she's pretty fucking cool
>she was actually into tabletop beforehand and brought her own dice
>she doesn't make sexual advances towards the DM in front of us and is an overall pretty chill and mature person
>DM and her split up
>by that point she's become a tangential part of the group
>we all still hang out
she tried to be the DM once and it was horrible but we all had a blast regardless
>>44109385
You're a pretty good GM. Should've had the BBEG capture the rogue at some point and hold up the arrowhead that he'd saved as a necklace, and then stab it into him to 'return it.'
>>44095266
It took me a second to remember.
My god that was a great thread!
>>44095442
>That was a wild thread, none of us could tell if it was real or fake.
>>44109708
>Did we ever figure out if it was real or not?
I went and read what I believe to be the first thread.
In my experience, if there are 45 responses to a post and the poster never replies to any of them, then the post was not real whether it was intended as a joke, bait, or troll attempt.
>Citation: "Who?"
Of course, a while back most of /tg/ got fooled by copypasta from another site, so we can hope deep in our hearts that Ethan the Whiner and his GM the Bitch are actually real. Or fake if that is your preference.
>>44110577
>Should've had the BBEG capture the rogue at some point and hold up the arrowhead that he'd saved as a necklace, and then stab it into him to 'return it.'
Ooh. That would have been good.
The actual final confrontation was a good deal more chaotic and less dramatic.
The rogue did get a good line off (can't remember it, but I gave him xp for it) when he managed to backstab the distracted BBEG in the middle of the fight.
It would have been very cinematic if the BBEG had died then.
Instead he sent the rogue flying with his mace and tried to limp away with his remaining hit points.
Call me tumblr-tier for this, but I think there are some fairly important things that the group should do to encourage female players to stick around - and honestly, it's a good idea to do this for new players in general.
>Don't be a faggot. Always a good rule.
>Make sure they're actually interested. Like sports or law school, if they have no real interest they're going to do poorly and just hold everyone back and earn the enmity of the group.
>Some players have some experience as a thespian or a writer or crunched numbers in vidya, some have never roleplayed in their lives. A welcome environment, with decent players and a good DM, that won't shut down a new player every time they do something, but encourage growth in a proper direction and teach them how to succeed, is essential. Hold them to a loose standard and don't put them on a pedestal or excuse poor choices.
>In the case of women specifically, don't put too much emphasis on their sex. Let them play a male character if they want, don't treat them differently or give special privileges. Try to make them feel like 'one of the guys' - not some outsider, but part of the group.
>Be friendly and nice. Not just in the sense of around the table or in the game like in rule 3, but out of character and outside of the game. A tabletop group is as much a social circle as a group of people who play the same game - just hanging out and trying to make friends can really make a new player feel more welcome.
Anything I forgot?
>>44110775
How am I supposed to do number 4 and number 5 at the same time?
You say treat her like one of the guys and also to be nice and not emphasize sex, but "the guys" treat each other like shit all the time and homoerotically flirt a lot.
>>44095034
Good experiences don't make good greentext stories
>>44110946
Give her a little time to get used to how the guys do things, see what they're doing to each other, and then just continue doing what you're doing. If she's the right kind of person, she'll fit right in with the casual shitflinging and recognize that joking flirting is not the same as real flirting. Just don't treat her differently than you would any other newcoming guy.
If you worry that you can't treat her the same way, then just try and cut out a little bit of the stuff that worries you the most, at least when directing any of it at her.
>>44101914
>>44109708
If you go back to the thread, he actually was the stable one. The unnamed DM stayed on the thread after that post to defend his DMing and came off as an asshole. "Ethan" was getting shit on until we were exposed to the DM he was trying to deal with, and then people changed their minds and started to like him. At least grant Ethan credit for not posting his DM's name.
Real or fake, it was pretty much a thread of legend. In this case, fake is still brilliant.
>>44102968
Yes, very fresh. Only used twice before. I think we'll see more of it.
>>44110024
It isn't kek if there aint a dick going in her
>>44111335
Which thread did you read?
Because that does not sound like the one I just read.
http://archive.4plebs.org/tg/search/text/hey%20ethan%21%20a%20quick/
http://archive.4plebs.org/tg/thread/43352819/#43353229
>>44110775
>>Make sure they're actually interested
That one is pretty tough to make sure about bro.
They can't really know if they're interested until they've actually tried it, it's not like they can watch D&D on television and get the idea.
>>44111455
You got the link right. That's my read on it, but I suppose YMMV.
>>44103457
Yeah, I played with someone like that, once. The biggest game-policer to others, completely convinced his character was awesome and he was a great roleplayer. And he also did random-ass shit like that. Partymembers are questioning an NPC, so he isn't in the spotlight for two seconds? Murders the fuck out of the NPC.
>>44093218
Get different dice? Tell her to believe in the heart of the card- er... dice
>>44104311
She's presenting a choice between dating her and playing RPGs. Why can't he have both? She is being a bitch. And it goes both ways, the guy shouldn't do shit like this either.
>>44102287
The boyfriend is being a faggot on multiple levels, but the only thing she did wrong was bring sexuality into the game. It's not fucking necessary and only creates trouble (and shame on the group for encouraging or at least not stopping it)
>>44102534
>which die do I roll?
Good god I have guys in my groups that have been playing for months if not years that still do this
Where are you all finding your non-retard players?
>>44108996
Are you fucking retarded? What are you, 13? Have ever played anything that wasn't just a series of corridors and monsters, with a big boss monster at the end?
Introducing a villain early on is 10/10 GOAT because it plants a seed in the players' minds and develops the story
>>44106476
>The one exception though was actually cool as fuck.
You have to tell the story, you know this, right?
>>44111794
>>44111335
Where I disagree is here:
>The unnamed DM stayed on the thread after that post to defend his DMing and came off as an asshole.
I don't think the DM reposted again.
He definitely didn't respond to anyone who responded to him or directly defend his actions.
But his post, assuming he was real, definitely confirmed him for the asshole.
Ethan definitely the stable one of the two.
>"Ethan" was getting shit on until we were exposed to the DM he was trying to deal with, and then people changed their minds and started to like him.
The GM was largely held at fault from the beginning and Ethan was only shit on for whining to /tg/ and not talking to or dumping the GM.
A good chunk of the thread was suggesting how to passive aggressively turn the Hipster GM's world against him.
That was my read on it.
>>44112359
Sounds like she's fishing for an excuse to flirt with other guys. Does she want him to be jealous, or is she considering cheating? Some girls want to watch their man fighting for/over them.
>>44108260
That's fucking terrible, man. Glad to hear you got into a better group, those guys are seriously pricks for not even saying anything. I'm sorry your first experience ended so poorly.
