Ah yes, Dungeons and Dragons, that wonderful adolescent pastime! But did you know that...
> ...?
>Posting anti-funny College Humor drivel
Jesus Christ, OP. Have some fucking standards.
>>44078672
> Roll for a hit
Anon just crit the shit out this d20!
> Crit table (full damage) localisation => his stupid face
> Not so clever now you filthy wargamist
>>44078672
...Studded leather armor, although popular in movie productions, was historically never used in combat for obvious reasons of practicality?
...Orks, goblins, elves, and dwarfs as represented in DnD are in no way related to ancient legend and are in fact inventions of the last Century?
...the noble knight is a myth that was created after the era where knights were militarily, politically, or socially relevant? It's basically Renaissance nobles spending the equivalent of a thousand years' worker's salaries on a make believe costume inspired by romanticized robber warlords of the past.
>>44078672
Is he going to wack that poor little black kid with a sword a couple of times in this hypothetical episode?
>>44078854
I love how people who do not know anything about history love to repeat this. Anon., prove me wrong, just give me one historian that supports this idea.
>>44078854
>Noble Knight myth
>Created in Renaissance
>Not Victorian England
Wow.
>>44079032
THANK you.
>>44078672
...traditional European swords are in fact stabbing weapons, not slashing weapons.
>>44079032
>Don Quixote was written in Victorian England.
>>44078672
...that the newest edition of D&D removed all of the improvements from the last edition, such as tight balance, tactical gameplay, a reduced need to tug around a cleric at all times, and so on for no other reason than nostalgia for the older editions?
>>44079089
Depends on the sword, the era, and what your opponent is armored with.
>>44079089
>Weapon is conceived so you can cut and stab with it
>People somehow think you need to choose one because you can't have both
>>44079105
>Implying Dom Quixote reinforces the myth of the noble knight
You are either really thick, or never read Dom Quixote.
Cervants was basically an early ass socialist, taking issue with how the landed nobility of spain still used their knight ancestry in the 1600s to justify their rule over the peasantry, when they were for nearly 2 centuries free of the muslim danger, which caused him to perceive knights as unecesarry. Also the time was filled with Catholic vs Protestant wars and in the Catholic Spain, knighthood was used as propagand to why one should fight the heathen protestants and anglicans to justify their conflicts in the americas...
Omg /tg/ learn history.
>>44079105
>Don Quixote was itself satire of the noble errant knight archetype
>beating a horse that has been dead for about 4 centuries
Reading /tg/ trying to talk about historical facts is simply painful. I'd like to be able to criticize them with the 'you are only quoting wikipedia mindlessly without reading any actual real sources', but it's much worse. I don't believe most people talking here even read a full wikipedia article. A lot of the 'knowledge' here comes from buzzfeed style lists like "10 things you didn't knew about the middle ages". Or worse, it's not even what those lists say, but what an idiot think the list was saying.
>>44079176
Swords are generally very good at one, and not great at the other. Depending on the sword of course. I dont think there is a sword that has been shown to be great at both, as you need a different balance and blade shape for slashing as opposed to stabbing.
But in essence you are correct. A sharp piece of metal remains a sharp piece of metal, no matter how its best used.
>>44079243
>>44079255
I honestly can't tell if you are actually serious.
My point is: Don Quixote was a deconstruction of the entire genre. If a book pubblished in 1605 makes fun of the noble knight myth, that myth quite clearly does not date back to Victorian England.
>>44078672
>Adam Ruins
I had to look this guy up.
So it's some fat hipster fuck working for college humor to make "did you know" garbage that trendy youths eat up because absorbing trivial knowledge makes them feel more worldly and intelligent without any effort on their part?
Neat.
>>44079312
Hm. My bad then, I misunderstood your point and yes, you are correct. Dom Quixote is a parody over chivalric novels, and the first 'parody' of those we have is Tyrant le Blanc, which dates from 1309 is Catalonia. Meaning Chivalric novels were a thing before that.
>>44079312
Let it go, /tg/ is too stupid to follow this kind of logic passage.
>>44079329
No problem, I should have just used the Jerusalem Delivered as a straight example and cut out the middle man.
>>44079333
No bully please.
>>44079300
Swords were designed to be a multipurpose weapon, where you can slash or stab as needed. Yes, some models do one better than the other, but in a medieval battlefield one could face different types of armors and situations (or no armor at all, also), and stabbing works well in some cases, cutting works best in others (Stab particulary stronger vs Chainmail because its really easy to spread a ring open that way, cutting very good agaisnt leather armor because each hit considerably damages the armor). But The european longsword as we know was pretty decent at cutting and stabbing, and while most would argue a straight blade isnt the ideal cutting shape, it was too long to be the ideal stabbing weapon too, so I guess jack of all trades, master of none applies here.
>>44079320
He's a flagrant abuser of "a study shows X is likely to Y". Aka...literally one group found a thing once. It's pretty common, even somewhat honorable sites like Cracked fall back on " a study's" and don't realize how meaningless that is.
>>44079320
The one on circumcision was pretty useful.
>>44079032
I guess you never heard of Luigi Pulci, or Ariosto.
You know, deconstructing and making fun of the "noble knight stereotype" in fucking renaissance, a period in which stories and plays about idolized medieval knights were more common than literacy.
Learn your history, damn.
>>44079388
Circumcision is, on my experience, an issue americans just can't think rationally about. Since a immense majority of americans are circuncised, they cannot process and deal with the notion they might have been denied a lot of sexual pleasure when they were so young. The thought that a first world country has a pratice so widespread that is nothing more than genital mutilation fruit of religious conservationism just doesnt sit well with them. So no matter how much study's, evidence, common sense and whatever you toss at them, most simply cannot accept that it's objectively better not to circuncise boys. Which would be fine-ish, if it didn't lead to another generation being mutilated right after birth and then suffering from the same bias, continuing the cycle of opressive genital mutilation.
Sad, really.
>>44079547
All I know is that my kids sure as hell aren't getting circumcised.
>>44078672
.. Critical one is not always a failure and natural 20 are not always auto successes.
These rules only apply to making attacks, across all versions of D&D but many players like to use them regardless of when a d20 is rolled.
In fact the critical fail on a 1 is an optional rule and not part of the main rule set at all in 3rd, and 4th.
>Like that OP?
>>44079631
>forgets about saving throws
>>44079547
The most ridiculous part is that the strongest argument they use is "it's hygenic". Like, in the age of soap, hot showers and modern medicine, we must mutilate penises to keep'em clean
>>44079661
You should still clean your penis frequently. Just saying.
>>44079661
The worst ones are "it looks better!"
Ok, you fucking dolt. Then I guess you won't mind if some people mutilate their girls or give them implant early. I mean, it'll look better, right?
Fucking people, man.
>>44079388
As is the one about hymens.
>>44079733
That goes without saying. But a lot of people who choose to circumcise seem to be under the impression that circumcision is such a drastically cleaner option.
>>44079522
To be fair the beginning of that sort of thing could be argued to be within the Medieval Era with things such as Lancelot, Knight of the Cart and similar stories about courtly love.
>>44079746
>>44079363
>(Stab particulary stronger vs Chainmail because its really easy to spread a ring open that way, cutting very good agaisnt leather armor because each hit considerably damages the armor)
OK, either that's an example of what >>44079281 was talking about or I'm horribly misinformed, because I thought that it was basically impossible to stab through mail and fucking easy to stab through leather (which wouldn't usually be worn as armour anyway).
>>44079746
Including the part where men are totally confused by lady parts and any reference to hymens and virginity is teh patriarchy?
>>44079320
I was initially in agreement, but then I saw this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XbYInILDj6Q
Actually kinda useful.
>>44078672
Toting his own banner.
Not everything that guy says is true. Which leads the the best advice:
>Fucking research it yourself!
However, you'll generally learn something every video, and I'm ashamed to admit I like his humor.
>turns out fantasy isn't history
weird, who'd of thought
>>44078672
..Gary Gygax, the creator of the most popular franchise today, was marginalized out of his own company over issues of marketability? What we call DnD these days is actually the game written to replace Gygax's vision and instead present a game that is easily marketed to anyone under 30 while avoiding all that pesky satanism slander by reacting to it.
>>44079849
It's expected that you're intelligent enough to ferret out the useful parts for yourself.
>>44079863
Haha. Yeah. This gets me every time someone thinks any D&D setting is "Ye Olden Times"
>>44079858
>>44079733
>>44079661
>>44079547
>>44079388
>>44079376
>>44079320
All politics aside I am willing to admit that these little bits and pieces have been really great about parting through the bullshit of some really common problems or issues everybody has become too comfortable with.
I'm super happy about circumcision specifically getting shit on- I'm eager for a time when infant circumcision is illegal unless absolutely necessary.
>>44078798
Yes and?
>>44080015
Yeah, the fingerprints one is also really useful.
>>44078672
Is the history of tabletop games layered enough to fill thirty minutes with magical adventures that rely slightly too heavily on the punchline "the host is actually a lonely, pathetic sap"?
>>44080436
>a lonely, pathetic sap
We might have a problem there.
I mean next to most roleplayers, Adam Conover looks like a hipster model metropolitan in a well paid profession.
>>44079300
>I dont think there is a sword that has been shown to be great at both
gladius hispaniensis
>>44079849
"Me am mans. ME NO NEED KNOW ABOUT VAGINERS. HYMEN IS BREAK, VIRGINITY REAL, UG UG"
Watching that made me cringe the whole way through. Y'know what that preachy several-minute video accomplished? It taught me everything I learned from 30 seconds of reading the wiki article on hymens, 'cause when I don't understand shit I look it up.
>He said her hymen was intact- Pop culture doesn't understand female genitals!
Or maybe it's because violent penetration, i.e. the sort from rape, the kind of shit that was being discussed, -is- more liable to break the hymen, so an unbroken hymen after a supposed rape incident makes it fishier than if it weren't.
But hey, what the fuck do I know. I have a dick so I'm a mouthbreathing retard who takes shit at face value and never goes in search of new information to either support or discredit my previously held thoughts/beliefs.
Let's make something about how women, by default, don't know fuck-all about male-only bits and see how far that gets in facebook shares.
Also, I want to punch Adam in the face. He just has a face that begs to be punched.
Some of the factoids are interesting, but the commercial is physically painful to watch and I imagine that the show is not much better. You'd think that somewhere in that giant pile of "did you know"s that he could figure out how humor works.
>>44079858
That's so smarmy and preachy that it's unwatcheable, and certainly not funny. And it could have been summarized in about 2 sentences.
>>44081552
The thing is, it's not marketed towards /tg/ users. It's marketed towards the average normal person.
>>44081584
>average person
>wanting to be preached to by some smarmy douche
>>44081660
Clearly, you haven't watched CNN/MSNBC/FOX.
>>44081584
No, it's not marketed towards "the average normal person."
It's marketed towards smug millennial western college students
>>44081697
If it were, then I would be watching it.
>factoid, factiod, factiod, SUDDEN JUMP INTO HOW ITS ALL SEXIST
>>44079032
That is so fucking wrong I don't even know where to begin with it.
>>44079243
Okay, this has to be a troll.
>>44079547
I'm circumsisized and I hate it. I have to constantly hear eurokeks talk about their amazing masturbation sessions. It doesn't help that the doctor fucked up and now I have a skin tag on the head of my dick.
>>44081888
I'm uncircumcised, but one of the few with the issue of... whatever you call it when the skin can't retract all the way. I forget the name.
Been considering getting the surgery done to fix that, though I don't really have an active-enough sex life to warrant it (big fuckin' surprise, amirite), and I enjoy not having to lube up to jerk it.
My dick looks kinda like a cat stuck in the arm of a sweater. Pic related.
>>44079859
He actually has admitted his research staff isn't that big and might make mistakes, which is why the show lists its sources in the first place
>>44079119
When will this meme die? WHY do you need a cleric? In 3.5 its SO easy to self heal with magic items.
>>44082481
Priaprism, it's called priaprism.
Don't google that.
>>44082968
I thought that was called phimosis?
>>44082755
Then if it gets a season 2 let's hope they can afford a bigger research team.
>>44083001
Too lazy to google, but I think priapism is a more severe form of phimosis? Like the former really needs medical attention, but the latter might not.
>>44083261
>>44083001
>>44082968
Priapisim is an unwanted erection that persists to the point of pathology. Named after the minor fertility God, Priapus.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Priapus
Phimosis is a stricture of the foreskin preventing complete retraction so that the glans is never fully exposed; as you so aptly pointed out, it looks like a cat in a sleeve.
Phimosis is usually managed conservatively via stretching of the foreskin with pessaries, or in severe cases the only medically acceptable time to consider circumcision.
the "halfling", a nimble, often deceitful midget is based on the real life animal of the Hebrew? Hebrews are known for their sly trickery and below average physical attractiveness and height.
>>44081711
>Thinking that everyone consumes all media marketed towards them
>>44079089
>traditional European swords
you
FUCKING
WHAT
so what you are saying, is rthat every sword for the last 2000 years ish produced in europ was made to do the same thing?
>>44078798
fucking duh
anon, you are a double nigger.
I'm getting the sense that Dungeons and Dragons isn't as mired in troubled history and terrible hidden truths as much as some other topics might.
>>44086977
-4 Str
>>44079829
You can do the test at home. When you try to cut something under chainmail the weapons edge slides over the metalic rings, and the only damage to what's underneath is the impact of the sword's weight and momentum, which can be lessened by padding and is reduced by the sliding itself. If you try a puncture attack like an arrow or stabbing motion, there's a good chance the tip of the blade will go inside a ring and force it to spread open. Even riveted chainmail breaks this way 1 out of every 3 or 4 tries.
Source: I'm a amateur armorsmith and a professional historian, and we have a research group focused in medieval warfare.
...This pen & paper amusement for the puberty-riddled is actually lousy with people WELL over the age of 30?
>>44078672
Stop being a cunt, OP.
>>44087279
How is OP being a mean pussy?
>>44087310
This cunt OP knows what he's done.
>>44087190
>>44079829
Eh, I find that mail resists stabbing fairly well. Surprisingly well if you consider it is made primarily of holes. You need a tip that is made to scissor the link open and a stiff body behind it. And even if it does scissor the link open, the loss of energy is significant enough for your padding to stop the object. I mean, something like a rondel dagger, yeah, this kills the mailed knight, but a swiss army knife won't
>>44087652
>a swiss army knife
A knife is not made for stabbing. Definitely not a 3" chrome steel non locking folder.
Maille is vulnerable to stabbing. Arrows pierce through it. A sword tip will go through but be damaged.
>>44079746
> Can you get an expert on the subject
> I'm a woman, I know this
> Guess that makes me a proctologist because I have a prostate, cunt.
>>44087731
>Arrows pierce through it.
Doesn't mean it didn't do its job. We have historical accounts of knights riding like pincushions with arrows all over them, yet still capable of fighting.
I think there was even a type of arrow specifically designed for mail and the padding underneath. A needle like tip that could more easily get past the rings and the padding. Or so I remember, might be wrong.
>>44081685
underbraided ghost
>>44090636
Word you want is "bodkin"
>>44090815
No, they were like long and thin heads. I thought bodkins were more for plate. The extra mass and sharp edges to help the arrow punch through.
>>44090987
You are mistaken. Bodkins -are- the most needle headed arrows that saw common use, and were developed centuries before plate became common in Europe.
>>44090041
>>44081118
>being this thin skinned
I'm sorry the click bait video triggered you.
>>44091067
No, the problem is that when ever I look at bodkins, I get something like pic related.
>>44091135
But what I was talking about was this type.
So, yeah, bodkin, just a different type bodkin.
>>44087190
>If you try a puncture attack like an arrow or stabbing motion, there's a good chance the tip of the blade will go inside a ring and force it to spread open. Even riveted chainmail breaks this way 1 out of every 3 or 4 tries.
Saying 'even riveted chainmail' doesn't make me terribly inclined to trust that, because as I understand it almost all historical mail was either entirely riveted or mixed riveted and punched rings (which would be even harder to burst).
Then there's the issue of how effectively you can deliver this kind of blow to an actual person. Most tests which show mail being defeated by blades seem to be done on mail fixed to an unmoving surface, which is very different to something strapped to a body which moves as you push against it.
>>44078854
Actually the noble knight "myth" is from the middle ages, knights liked to pretend that they were noble and protectors of justice exactly like everyone else who have been in power ever.
It was propaganda
>>44091197
There was also entirely butted mail, remember.
There are no historical records confirming the idea that butted mail was actually made using butts, however.
>>44091290
>>44081584
You can use the word normies, it's okay battlebrother.
>>44092308
saved
>>44087064
Women are, in reality, comically weak compared to men
>>44079547
I'm circumsised, I give precisely zero fucks. My kid will probably feel the same way, too.
>>44078672
You have to do something before you can ruin it, OP.
>>44096082
You give zero fucks precisely because you have no choice. Since you've never known the pleasure of NOT being jewified all you know is suffering.
>>44079119
In the newest edition, we have been surviving quite well without a cleric. Maybe you should just not suck?
>>44097151
Implying your GM isn't coddling you.
>>44079661
It comes from a misappropriation of "no bacteria" with "clean." The only scientifically observed mechanism for the much-storied correlation between circumcision and a reduction in the probability of HIV infection is a reduction in overall infection area.
Put in a simpler way, scientists have confirmed cutting up your junk to prevent disease is just as retarded as cutting up any other part of your body for the same reason. We don't cut off our feet to prevent athlete's foot, we don't pull our teeth to prevent cavities, and we don't slice off our eyelids to prevent pinkeye.
>>44097217
>We don't cut off our feet to prevent athlete's foot, we don't pull our teeth to prevent cavities, and we don't slice off our eyelids to prevent pinkeye.
You backwards luddite Purity First idiots will be irrelevant once augs become more mainstream
>>44097217
>scientists have confirmed cutting up your junk to prevent disease is just as retarded as cutting up any other part of your body for the same reason
>what are tonsils or the appendix
>>44097483
You cut those off after they have become so infected that antibiotics don't help any more. Also they are in positions much more prone to infection. The tonsils even help prevent infection of the throat. We don't perform preventive tonsillectomy and appendectomy on new borns.
>>44078672
I watched his episode on charitable giving recently.
The guy insisted giving cash was the best possible donation. Completely ignoring the massive "handling fees" many national charitable organizations impose on their cash donations. After reading the financial breakdowns on some, i'm appalled to find that as little as 8% of your donations actually make it past the mountains of bureaucratic money-managers to be given to the community. Al Sharpton didn't get wealthy by helping a brother out, I tell you that.
>>44097806
Iirc he said that giving money donations directly to food banks helps them feed people and giving them the cans from the back of your cupboard doesn't really because much of it is over the date and almost all of it is useless to someone putting together a balanced diet..
>>44098490
Most of which is true, but i was hoping he would suggest giving your TIME would be a key aspect, as the best thing you can do for those in need is actually be there for them.
>>44096082
>My kid will probably feel the same way, too.
So do you actually have a reason for wanting to circumcise your kid, or...?
>>44098794
The reason I've heard most often repeated by men who get their boys circumcised is "I want them to be like me". So basically just pure cruel narcissism.
>>44098918
What, not "It was required by the board of health"?
Ohio. the 80's. it happened.
