How well would the old Egyptian goddess Isis fare in a solo mission to defeat ISIS and reclaim her name?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Isis
>ALLAH AKBAR
>>44073362
It's ISIL now, dumbass
>>44073362
>Wadjet, this is a solo sneaking mission.
>>44073372
>>44073362
>Not Daesh
>>44073362
Well she knows the secret names of Ra and after Thoth was one of, if not the most powerful magic-user the Egyptian pantheon had, I'd say she'd do pretty well. Some horrific plagues upon ISIS should soften them up nicely, but she'd probably need the mummified armies of Ancient Egypt to really convince people the goddess was PISSED and they should give up the name. Maybe she could convince her son, Horus, to give her a hand as a melee fighter?
>>44073372
>>44073362
In Australia it's more common for news to just call them IS after a small grassroots group started to form of women called Isis who were getting annoyed that their name was being hijacked like that.
As for how a Goddess of Magic would go about taking down infidels?
Gee, I don't know. How would Goddess of Magic go about taking down mortals?
Couldn't she just zap them all and then send a memo to Anubis to to just feed them all to Ammut?
She turns them all into girls, and brainwashes them into being her priestesses.
With no other gods around, she starts a Jihad to restore the Egyptian Pantheon.
She only has a shitty 3x multiplier, so not very well.
Even her ult-evo is only 4.5 under very specific conditions. I guess she's unbindable at least.
>>44073559
>brainwashes them into being her priestesses
And it turns out that those 70 virgins they were promised are themselves.
>>44073623
What system are you even referencing?
>>44073559
Hmm... You know, I kinda want to play in this game. Ancient gods and goddesses re-building their faith after the monotheistic gods buckled and died under the strain of keeping up their massive bases of followers.
>>44073654
Molech and Baal get insane modifiers from child sacrifice
>>44073654
The art OP posted is from Puzzle and Dragons.
>>44073362
I imagine she would not care as they aren't attacking Egypt yet.
If they ever bother, she's just going to cut Sechmet off the booze for half a day or so. Shouldn't take much more than that for her to paint the Middle East red.
>>44073654
I just want to see Anubis' reaction to all the monstergirls based off him.
>>44073768
Hah! At least the miserable old sod would have himself a harem!
Hey, 1 to 4 gods of the ancient pantheons, like Greko/Roman; Egyptian; Celtic; Norse; Babylonian; Aztec; Japanese etc... Who would you pick to represent their people and why?
Come to that, the Hindu pantheon would have a huge advantage... They're still worshiped by millions!
>>44073768
The irony being that Anput is already a goddess of mummification and funeral rights and was depicted as a jackal-headed lady.
All that rule 63 Anubis art out there and Egypt beat them all to it over 2 millennia ago.
>>44073824
What if all of the old gods are reborn through a cop out, but the new, monotheistic religions figure out how to do some proper clericing?
>>44073824
Well hey there Anubis and Bast
>>44073623
Come on, you know she works better as a team sub than leader.
Her husbando is a pretty damn good leader though
>>44073989
Anput and Bastet. Anubis' consorts. I think the actual porn of those even have the Jackal Head God going at them.
>>44073503
That reminds me of a thing I saw with an image of a bottle of Coca-Cola that said "Share a Coke with Isis," and a bunch of idiots were screaming "HOW FUCKING DARE COKE PUT THE NAME OF A TERRORIST GROUP ON ONE OF THEIR BOTTLES, BOYCOTT THE BASTARDS!!!!1!!11" Meanwhile, I'm sitting here thinking "Nigga, you do realise that Isis was a name long before those fucktards came along, right?"
>>44074063
Considering that half the people I know have trouble placing Germany on a map I'm not surprised.
>>44073947
Because monotheism's boring as shit. It's all the same boring repetition of "My god is all-powerful, all-seeing, all-knowing, perfect in every way and can never be beaten ever." Polytheistic deities have weaknesses and personalities, while the big three monotheisms are just fighting over prophets.
Plus, I like to think that whatever overgod monotheisms and especially the Abrahamic ones worship, he's over-worked as shit, possibly even dead. I mean that's one god to tend to the wishes and beliefs of over 4.17 BILLION humans! Plus his followers have been fighting and killing one another for centuries, dividing into disparate and arguing sects and generally offering very little in their prayers except the occasional thanks, which is vastly out-weighed by how much they ask!Please note, I'm only basing this on Islam, Judaism, Sikhism and Christianity, as I can't readily name another monotheism besides Zoroastrianism and that's pretty much non-existent today... Sorry anyone who worships another single deity; I can't name you if I don't know you exist.
>>44074055
sickenedbutcurious.jpg
>>44074081
Well it's not like a furry's portrayal of Anubis, it's just a giant swole guy with a pitch black, simplistic, and angry looking jackal mask.
Nah mom, leave this to me.
I've got this.
>>44074081
I was thinking more the Abrahamic god decided to fuck off and let shit sort itself out with his followers. Like skipping a TV segment because it's boring as fuck.
If you connect the Old Gods with the rebirth of magic, Wala! Fun setting of the middle east, especially because there'd be 57,000 gods there.
>>44074148
That disparity in numbers is kind of why it might be better if only the big ones came back, like...
>Egypt
Ra, Isis, Anubis and Horus
>Greece/Rome shut up they're the fucking same
Zeus, Athena, Poseidon, Hades
>Babylon
Marduk, Ashur, Ishtar
>Norse
Odin, Thor, Loki, Freya
>Aztec
Tezcatlipoca, Quetzalcoatl
>>44073623
Awoken Isis is an all-star in my Skuld team.
Wait, couldn't Scion be used for something like the return of the gods..? Nah, that's more for the children of the gods...
What system could work, guys? And please don't say GURPS/FATE
>>44073372
Obama please go.
>>44073824
If I recal rightly the norse were respected in most of sweden, finland, greenland and those other assorted areas. While France, Germany, England and others were following along with Celtic traditions...Aztec would probably be along the northern half of south america and the lower part of Mexico, Mayan gets the upper half of Mexico with parts of lower North America, Inca's get along the majority of South America, Chinese and Japanese pantheons quarral with each other I think as Japs used Shintoism which is like ancestral worship combined with animism.
Also I tend to assign these gods to these peoples in corresponding to where they were active cuz back then alot of the countries weren't even formed and kinda were like the primordial soup base that made them or something along those lines.
Also I love old gods and shit so if you ever run I'd be on that faster than you can say Heretic
>>44073362
>goddess of magic
>literally god-tier wizard
>vs untrained men with guns
The winner is really difficult to decide here, OP.
>>44074134
Is that a pokemon?
>>44075013
Nope, just a fire bird god
>>44073362
>>>/pol/
Not fucking /tg/-related, faget.
>>44075037
you confuse me anon
>>44075079
Remember who's Isis' son?
>>44075101
Horus, falcon god, slayer of Set and the Egyptian god of kingship and vengeance. What's that got to do with fire?
>>44075171
In-game main element
>>44074081
>>Plus, I like to think that whatever overgod monotheisms and especially the Abrahamic ones worship, he's over-worked as shit, possibly even dead. I mean that's one god to tend to the wishes and beliefs of over 4.17 BILLION humans! Plus his followers have been fighting and killing one another for centuries, dividing into disparate and arguing sects and generally offering very little in their prayers except the occasional thanks, which is vastly out-weighed by how much they ask!
For a deity that is literally omnipotent and omniscient, that's not a difficult feat at all.
![latest[1].png](https://i.imgur.com/ZouxbdX.png "latest[1].png")
I want a goddess as mai waifu!
>>44075171
who also may or may not be jesus
>>44075463
>>44075428
Yeah but you have to take into consideration that whenever people are srguing about this with each other it decends into my dad is better than your dad arguement and nothing gets solved.
At least with the polythestic gods it explains why shits fucked in the world, because the gods are just as human as us, they make mistakes as well.
>>44075602
>Yeah but you have to take into consideration that whenever people are srguing about this with each other it decends into my dad is better than your dad arguement and nothing gets solved.
There's not really anything to argue.
The Christian God is literally all-powerful and all-knowing. There's not a whole lot of room to argue details there.
>>44075463
If you're inclined to believe the thoroughly-debunked ramblings of a new-age whackjob, maybe.
http://conspiracies.skepticproject.com/articles/zeitgeist/part-one/#horus
>>44075171
Horus never killed Set iirc. He continued being the God of foreigners and continually encouraged and drove off invasions upon Egypt.
>>44075816
Yeah, pretty sure Horus just castrated Set.
>>44075463
>I just watched Zeitgeist
For fucks sake, AT LEAST mention Apollonius. That will only make you look misinformed rather than entirely uneducated.
>>44075171
Horus was associated with the sun.
>>44076290
No, that was Ra. They're similar though.
I suppose Horus could have some association with the sun; many of the Egyptian gods were.
>>44075816
>>44075841
Huh, I guess I've been reading the wrong myths then. My bad.
>>44076441
Originally Horus and Ra were distinct, with only Ra being a sun god, while Horus was a sky and war god, but at one point they were merged into a single god, Ra-Horakhty.
>>44074077
How many of them know what Arabic Numerals are?
So more to the point... How would you run a setting like that? Exalted-style perhaps? How weak would a starting god be in a setting where they'd just re-awakened, assuming the Abrahamic god is either dead or has fucked off?
>>44073768
>>44073362
Hasn't been called ISIS for almost 4 years. Turns out dumbass white politicians talk out of their ass about it a lot without even getting it's name right.
At least the president calls it the "Islamic State", that's technically part of it's accurate name.
Schoolgirl Isis could do it.
>>44073652
Funny thing, nowhere in the actual Quran are those virgins mentioned.
You know how that Bible chapter Leviticus is filled with all these rules that priests everywhere break (including never wearing jewelry or wearing mixed fibers or eating shellfish or pork of any kind) because they know it's a pretty ridiculous passage?
Well in the actual Quran those virgins are even more poorly sourced and referenced then Leviticus is, so most serious Islamic scholars denounce it.
>>44077920
Not him but the biggest trouble with faith I always had is what's the point of having a holy book you're meant to follow if you just cherrypick whatever you like and handwave the rest. Isn't it supposed to be the word of your creator? How dare you just follow one rule and break three others just because they're inconvenient for you?
I still respect faiths but that bit always bugged the shit out of me. It's basically admitting in all but words that either your god isn't worthy of being obeyed or is fallible (which defeats the point of monotheism completely) or the book is actually not the word of god afterall.
>Isis airdrops Sekhmet on ISIS
>>44077911
This one has it.
>>44073722
>I imagine she would not care as they aren't attacking Egypt yet.
Yes they are.
>>44077796
Could base it of Black and White, new born god only able to affect areas that are in your domain that holds your icons, gain more power through the followers and eventually be able to summon an avatar to do your deeds on the planet or summon yourself in a lesser form.
Basic miracles based on what your domain would be, so if you had Zues I'd imagine summoning a bolt to zap someone, progressing to binding people to their oaths, gain strength by protecting supplicants or the weak etc...
>>44077875
That band of drug and islam addled subhumans does not deserve to have their mockery of a country recognized, or pronounced correctly.
>>44077978
In the Catholic faith they've addressed this by very explicitly saying that it's full of allegory and that it's written by men (who in fact the individual chapters are named after) and that men are fallible and can get it wrong or have imperfect understanding, which is why God is perfect and we aren't.
It's also how they allow evolution to fit into God's plan, which is now something the Vatican says is something that happened.
It's basically just Protestant doctrines that say the Bible is the straight-up literal unfiltered word of God these days in Christiain faiths, which is probably because since they have no actual hierarchy to determine what is and isn't allegory (the Vatican literally has an entire group of guys that do that) the book itself is the highest authority, and since the book is only read in full by a local pastor or preacher or televangelist he/she can say literally anything at all and most of his/her flock won't care.
Ironically Protestantism is much, MUCH less doctrinally flexible these days thanks to several extremely progressive Pope's despite being free from Catholic religious structures.
In the case of the virgins, it's a Hadith.
Hadith are basically "so a friend of a friend of Muhammad's cousin heard him say this", so are rated by how reliable the source is; the virgins all tie back to a man who heard Muhammad say it, except that the Hadith is very poorly sourced and the man who heard Mudhammad say it as far as anyone can tell didn't actually exist which means Mudhammad never actually said it.
>>44078536
The decline of mainline Protestant churches really has been a major blow to Christianity in the United States.
>>44078619
Doesn't help that they keep fucking splintering. There are so many fucking variations of every single damn thing it's ridiculous, and yet somehow they're all The One TRUE Way, and of course they all demand that THEIR voice is the one that's listened to and that the government should be making policies based on their interpretation of the Bible despite the whole separation of church and state thing and fuck this country
I wish it wasn't so damn easy to see why hurratheism is so attractive to people considering how idiotic a good deal of the loudmouthed religious people can be. And I'm a devout Christian saying that.
And that's not even getting into the hypocrisy and people not even reading the damn Bible...
>>44078619
Their decline honestly has more to do in the areas where the faith is concentrated, which tend to be economically impoverished or low population and otherwise in worse financial straits rather then anything about the faith itself.
Shitty places and poverty make for shitty people. People in poor financial straights with bad education and no opportunities to better themselves turn to religion, which then becomes populated by people with poor education and not much exposure to new ideas who become bitter once this is challenged and then they raise their kids the same way and so on and so forth. We have a Protestant church in my city nearby and they're really generous and accepting people, for example.
This is not counting really weird Faith's like the Jehova's Witnesses who are generally creepy and socially controlling as a matter of course due to how their religion works but they're basically a cult by any definition (insular, controlling, actively alienates it's members from society, skirts the edge of the law with it's practices, etc), just a Christian one.
>>44077978
>Not him but the biggest trouble with faith I always had is what's the point of having a holy book you're meant to follow if you just cherrypick whatever you like and handwave the rest. Isn't it supposed to be the word of your creator?
The only holy text I can think of that's literally supposed to be word-for-word straight from God is the Quran.
The Bible, for example, was written by men but inspired by God. Also, Jesus was a really big fan of allegory and metaphors. There's a reason he told so many parables. The apostles and disciples understood that some words are meaningful while not being literally true.
And as far as the Torah goes, there ARE a lot of Jews who make a point of following every single rule in there, because they believe the better the job they do of following the Law the kinder God will be to the world, basically. That's Orthodox Judaism.
>>44078750
>And that's not even getting into the hypocrisy and people not even reading the damn Bible...
This bugs the fuck out of me.
I'm not particularly religous but I went to Sunday school for awhile as a kid.
Apparently I have read and know more about the Bible then most devout Christians I know based on how they misquote or outright get shit wrong when they reference it, or even more hilariously use shit like's Aesop's Fables ("The Lords helps those who help themselves" is not ANYWHERE in the Bible) and genuinely think that's scripture.
I should NOT know more about the Bible then the most devout people I've met. There's something fundamentally messed up about that.
>>44078536
>and since the book is only read in full by a local pastor or preacher or televangelist he/she can say literally anything at all and most of his/her flock won't care.
Funny. I'm a Catholic who's gotten into a lot of arguments with a Protestant friend over which is better, and one of his main points in favor of Protestantism is that they supposedly DON'T do this, and every good Protestant is supposed to read the book for themselves and study what it's actually supposed to mean in context. Apparently he went to a hell of a lot of Bible schools where they'd debate the meaning of the text.
>>44078770
>The only holy text I can think of that's literally supposed to be word-for-word straight from God is the Quran.
Or Protestant Christians.
But....yeah. They have other problems.
>>44078536
I remember finding out why the middle easterners where so disgusted with pigs.
The Egyptian Romans had pigs that ate literal garbage. so it should say in all those holy books.
" Dont eat animals that eat garbage. And dont feed animals garbage, trust me, I am God, and I never made animals to intentionally eat garbage, that's on you."
>>44078818
America is filled with a lot of shitty Protestants then, because many actively do the opposite of what the Bible says like enjoy eating popcorn shrimp or wear...well, any modern clothing at all.
Unless of course all Protestants everywhere agree it's all Word of God, except Leviticus.
>>44078818
So,as a classic tg refrain.
How religious people act depends on the setting they are in.
>>44078831
Well what about goats? Those guys eat tin cans last I remembered.
>>44078818
Then there are those who think Catholics aren't Christians because they 'worship idols'
>>44078861
Yes, basically.
People like to say that religion influences people, but I find it's truer that people influence religion rather then vice-versa and the things that influence people are more material then spiritual.
>>44078870
They didn't used to. Goats and sheep were primary herd animals back in the day in that region, and still are.
Also, tin cans hadn't been invented yet.
>>44078823
>Or Protestant Christians.
So... they literally don't understand how the Bible was compiled? Or why the books are labelled by author?
>>44078870
I thought it was that they ate the paper off tin cans
I wouldn't mess with her, especially after she tried expanding her portfolio and became a vampire.
>>44078943
Or don't care. Or are too lazy to check.
Or think that checking is a sin against God. Or think that going against what your pastor says is a sin against God and you're just supposed to trust him rather then developing your own relationship with God by reading his book. Or because he's part of the Council of Elders and his word is law.
Protestantism is really just "do whatever you want-ism", and in some places it leads to abuse and deliberate misinterpretation of scripture to suit or ends or in a couple of cases literally making up your entire religion from scratch.
Some of the pilgrims came here seeking religious freedom, it's true, but we tend to leave out that a lot of the religous freedom they sought revolved around their legal difficulties with the United Kingdom and them complaining that the United Kingdom's laws weren't extreme enough in the way of religous methods for their tastes.
They weren't run out and didn't secretly escape in the night from a tyrannical King, they were ALLOWED TO LEAVE because they were gigantic pains in the ass who constantly brushed up against the law.
>>44073824
l-lewd
>>44074055
but also educational
>>44079045
>Or think that going against what your pastor says is a sin against God and you're just supposed to trust him rather then developing your own relationship with God by reading his book.
Isn't that literally why Protestants dislike Catholics? Because you're "supposed to just do what the priest tells you instead of checking the book for yourself and coming to your own conclusions"?
>>44079045
Example; a lot of the pilgrims wanted the United Kingdom to ban ALL alcohol everywhere, as well as tobacco products. The United Kingdom wouldn't because they felt people should be allowed to drink if they want to drink and smoke if they want to smoke.
So some got on a boat and left.
Puritans were fairly extreme, doctrinally speaking.
>>44079077
>Isn't that literally why Protestants dislike Catholics? Because you're "supposed to just do what the priest tells you instead of checking the book for yourself and coming to your own conclusions"?
They're also suppose to forgive and keep offering forgiveness because it says so right in the Bible. But sometimes they don't.
Assholes will find excuses to be assholes literally anywhere, it's just that religion provides people with a semi-legitimate and most importantly tax-exempt excuse to be assholes.
So some will be assholes because that's who they are as people, and some won't be because that's who they are as people.
Blaming a book written explicitly by human beings for the failings of human beings is pretty silly.
>>44077978
People who cherry-pick are idiots.
However, if you're referring to the Old Testament/New Testament thing, you need to understand the origins of Christianity. Christians believe that Judaism was, in fact, the correct religion up until Jesus. The reason for this is a distinction between the Old Covenant (Judaism) and the New (Christianity).
The Old Covenant was between God and Israel, and the Old Testament is essentially a really long story of how the Israelites kept screwing up their end of the deal and, more importantly, how God used this Old Covenant to prepare for Jesus' coming, at which point the Old Covenant was fulfilled and a New Covenant was established.
Thus, the Old Testament is still considered canon and holy, but its legal and ceremonial commands are no longer in effect, because that Covenant was completed. The transcendent moral commands remain the same, but aspects like sacrifices and ritual cleanliness are no longer spiritually necessary.
There are libraries' worth of books written about this stuff. For what it's worth, folks at my church tend to celebrate Jewish holidays as well, especially Passover, to remind ourselves of the connection between the Old Covenant and the New.
>>44079046
>>44074081Artist is houtengeki
>>44077790
>Arabic Numerals
>>44079077
The main reason Protestants dislike Catholics is because they disagree with them at all, honestly.
You know how when someone disagrees with you about stuff you reflexively get all defensive for a second? Not about religious stuff, just stuff in general? Nobody wants to appear stupid, and if someone threatens what you already believe or are told you know you feel stupid and invalidated so you get defensive over it; it's probably something we're born with considering how universal it is to our species.
Well with religion it's just as bad (if not worse) because the matter in question sometimes determined their ENTIRE LIFESTYLES, and so anyone disagreeing with them they see as an attack on their entire life and everything they've done in their lives even if that's not the actual intent of the person's disagreement.
>>44077920
>inb4 fedora go
>inb4 christfag go>inb4 go go power rangers
Point of order: those rules regarding priests don't apply to contemporary Abrahamic clerics. Those rules were for the Levites, of which none remain.
Also, Christians can cite Paul to trump sections of the OT Law, and Muslims can cite Mohammed as being the go to prophet, since he got the last most recent word.
Contemporary Jews, as stated, lack the Levites to warrant those rules and that worship.
>>44079190
>and, more importantly, how God used this Old Covenant to prepare for Jesus' coming, at which point the Old Covenant was fulfilled and a New Covenant was established.
This is still true today, by the way. Modern Jews keep to their covenant and follow the Jewish Law specifically to prepare the world for the coming of the messiah (they don't believe Jesus was the messiah, so they don't believe that there is yet a New Testament that invalidates the laws of the Old Testament).
>>44078809
>I should NOT know more about the Bible then the most devout people I've met. There's something fundamentally messed up about that.
As a Christian (Southern Baptist), it's depressing how often I find atheists who know more about the Bible than a lot of my fellow Christians. Thankfully, the church I go to has some seriously knowledgeable people. Theological debates aren't uncommon after service ends. The two guys who run the Bible study know Greek and Hebrew respectively, and the one guy is teaching his kids Hebrew so that they, too, will be able to read the Bible in the original language.
Holy crap I love my church.
>>44073362
>Magical being that is literally a goddess tier spell caster vs some peasant goat fuckers with AKs.
I think I know who I am betting on.I'd back the cute girl over a pack of chaotic evil psychopaths anyways.
>>44073722
>they aren't attacking Egypt yet.
>>44079330
God dammit, Decu.
>>44073372
ISIL is the name that was used by the "syrian rebels" when they were receiving military training and weapons from America. Boy did that work out well for everyone.
>>44079322
That's pretty cool.
You know, my issue with Southern Baptism has nothing to do with the religion and everything to do with it's origins and it getting dragged into the American Civil War and splitting with northern Baptists over what amounts to political shit rather then faith stuff.
I feel as though faith and the state should he kept separate, but also that the state should not meddle in faith; they should both do what they need to do without say....tapping into random religious sentiment in some states to shore up votes because you're worried that you can't get enough women or minorities or young people to vote for you.
That strikes me not as the act of a man of faith, but as the act of a man who uses his faith to excuse how he acts and then acts literally however he wants to.
>>44074134
>look at picture
>brain immediately tried to make the leg stumps look like balls
I've been here too long
>>44079293
>>44079190
>>44078770
>>44078536
Huh, well consider me very educated. This thread is pretty great, lots of information and no shitposting.
>>44079415
/his/ is also pretty good for this kind of thing, actually. Well, half the time it's trolling and shitposting, but the other half of the time I'm genuinely learning new and interesting stuff about faiths and philosophies I knew basically nothing about.
I learned about the difference between Coptic Orthodox Christianity and Eastern Orthodox Christianity yesterday.
I remember a Jehovah's Witness girl sending me a thick ass package over why I should convert, thing was 5 centimeters thick, most of it hand-written. Best part is that I never gave her my adress. Every day I hope that I'll never meet her again.
>>44078879
>they 'worship idols'
I'd worship an idol.
>>44079437
Eastern Orthodox is pretty nuts.
You can see just how much culture and distance changed the religion compared to the rest of Europe, which again just confirms my belief that people influence religion rather then the other way around.
>>44079449
>I remember a Jehovah's Witness girl sending me a thick ass package
You know you've been on 4chins too long when that statement conjures up very particular imagery.
>>44079190
The Old Testament is also included in the Christian Bible so you can go look up the specific prophecies Jesus is supposed to have fulfilled about the coming of the messiah.
Given that it's included in the Christian Bible, though, the specific translation used may specifically be the friendliest toward the idea of Jesus being the messiah, since that's kind of the message the whole book is pushing.
>>44079477
It was a brown envelope, nothing special, just holy shit, I could have killed someone with that stack of papers.
>>44079449
Don't the JWs believe that only a select few are getting into heaven and God has already predetermined who those specific people are going to be?
What is even the point of converting, in that scenario? You're either going to heaven or you're not, and the answer to the question is already decided. Converting isn't going to save you.
>>44079476
>Eastern Orthodox is pretty nuts.
It is, but it's pretty based. I converted from Protestantism to EO a few years back. Part of it was the philosophy, and the role of the church. I'll admit that part of it was wanting to distance myself from US church politics. I loathe how mainstream Christianity has unthinkingly shackled itself to the Republican party. The Church should be apolitical in respect to party, and shouldn't allow itself to become an uncritical power base for increasingly corrupt politicans.
>>44079509
Hell if I know, I just found the whole thing creepy as fuck.
>>44079509
My understanding is that only the select few get to go to the bestest heaven and that they are lesser heavens.
Think of the reverse of pic related.
>>44079548
NO BIRTHDAYS!
>>44079322
>As a Christian (Southern Baptist), it's depressing how often I find atheists who know more about the Bible than a lot of my fellow Christians.
People don't just turn atheist on a whim, anon.
If you see the religion you were brought up with as "believe whatever you want" then there's no reason to reject it. Becoming an atheist requires you to care about what it actually says.
>>44079449
Why are JW's so fucking creepy? I was on a small holiday to the sister island to my island country after a nice event my brother and his friends organized. We went to stay at a nice little rustic apartment in this tinyass port town (the size of a small bay, basically). There was a cliff you could climb up and on the other side was a path leading down by the cliff face and ends in a cave that fed to the sea. It was beautiful, the smells, the perched seagulls on the cliff face. The sunset, my god, the burning orange and blue of dusk across the sea...
Then I turn around and there's these two foreign ladies, telling me it's a gorgeous view and then asked if I could take a look at a leaflet. I thought they wanted a translation to my language, thought them tourists. I glanced at it and told them "This is some sort of religious leaflet" and then they beamed and said "WE'RE JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES!" and tried to sell me a faith like some aggressive telemarketer.
Noped like a bat out of hell. Experience shat on. Next time I'll just yell "WITNESS MEEEEEE!"
>>44079550
The Divine Comedy is so based.
>>44079550
No, Anon, there's just one Heaven and multiple Hells. That should give you some idea about how God thinks of people.
>>44079550
>My understanding is that only the select few get to go to the bestest heaven and that they are lesser heavens.
So they're like Mormons?
>>44079534
>The Church should be apolitical in respect to party, and shouldn't allow itself to become an uncritical power base for increasingly corrupt politicans.
Agreed.
People often talk about the church too heavily influencing the state, but from a historical and modern standpoint it's more common for the reverse to happen.
Right now due to political changes when you say you're religous it's not uncommon for people to believe you're automatically Republican in the United States because the GOP has done it's best to arrange it that way even though this wasn't true as recent as 15 to 20 years ago.
I'm not even sure the big example people think of (that Vatican) counts, because for a wide variety of territory the Pope literally WAS the government, up to and including having armies, determining taxes, and running banks.
>>44079595
>Why are JW's so fucking creepy?
Because they're a cult in the modern sense. They fit literally every mark for qualifying as a cult.
>>44079534
So what is the philosophy in EO?
>>44075428
>>44075645
>For a deity that is literally omnipotent and omniscient, that's not a difficult feat at all.
>The Christian God is literally all-powerful and all-knowing. There's not a whole lot of room to argue details there.
Only according to the modern pop culture version of the Abrahamic religions. In ye olden days the Hebrews were polytheistic. Yahweh was just a fairly low-tier mountain god.
The old testament has no shortage of passages listing his limits and weaknesses. Hell, he was defeated by iron chariots. Dude got his ass kicked by metal horse buggies!
He's just been fan-wanked over the years as Christianity, then Islam, grew and spread.
..........That could be a good back story to the setting. As his religion spread, he choked off the supply of worshippers and Faith of the other Gods. By the time they realised the scope of the problem, they'd already been denounced as Demons and tricksters, or just figments that never existed in the first place. Their temples destroyed and their supply of Faith dwindling, they weren't strong enough to challenge him.
But now his religion has spread out and splintered into MILLIONS of different sects. Most envisioning him as some sort of Deist-knock-off 'Cosmic Spirit' or something. The focus of their Faith has changed sooo much over the years, so divorced from the original version, that he's having trouble tapping into the supply of Faith any more.
Now the other Gods are smelling weakness and banding together to knock him off and make a resurgence.
>>44079690
That sounds like the setup for a Shin Megami Tensei game.
>>44079593
On the other hand, atheist converts make some of the most zealous and educated Christians.
The problem is that most people, atheist, Christian, whatever, never really bother asking questions, because they've never felt the need to. The issue is probably worse with modern Christianity, in no small part due to the existence of the phrase "the Sunday school version." People brought up in a "safe" environment often aren't pushed to learn and dig deeper.
>>44079683
Too much to sum up here, but here's what drew me in:
>the church is like a hospital, the sacraments are equal parts medicine and physical therapy; no wham-bam you're forgiven, man
>practical day-to-day spiritual activities over "do I feel close to Jesus today"
>the rhythm of the annual Liturgical cycle
>Gregory Palamas
Palamas' theology and spiritual exercises are pretty sweet. To me, it reads more like how to interact with something that is genuinely transcendant as opposed to overly anthropomorphized, recycled paganism. To be fair, EO has tons of outside influences, hello Platonism, but those influences don't come across as cartoony to me as some of the western approaches.
/his/ has some good EO threads if you want to look into it.
>>44079690
>Yahweh was just a fairly low-tier mountain god.
>"In the beginning, God created the heavens and the Earth."
First verse of the first book of Jewish and Christian scripture.
>Hell, he was defeated by iron chariots.
That is absolutely incorrect. It was Israel that could not drive them out. Most modern translations read "THEY could not drive them out." The KJV is not the only translation, anon.
>>44073488
>Not Kebab
>>44079842
>"In the beginning, God created the heavens and the Earth."
>First verse of the a current popular version of repeatedly edited, translated, re-edited, translated some more, compilation of older works voted on by committee.
>>44073362
If I told you that Isis, the godess of magic, was translated into greek artemis, and later on roman Diana, yet another godess who dealt with magic, who also was a godess of the moon, and her followers at times set up holy stones on her altar as they were screaming and shouting "Diana is great". Then you just might notice the connection to polytheistic Allah worship of arabia. I don't think Isis would want her soldiers in ISIS to be defeated quite yet.
>>44079943
yet still more consistent than GW's canon
>>44079943
Anon, if the validity of the text is in question for the reasons you state, how are the passages that support your supposition any less questionable?
>>44080022
Well, if you're going to set the bar that low, why bother.
>>44080022
I'll take Things That Are In No Way Difficult for 100, Alex.
>>44079943
...You really haven't paid attention to how many manuscripts we have, have you? These things are ridiculously consistent.
Regardless, the point I'm making is that the Jewish and Christian faiths in no way contain any notion of a non-omnipotent God, though you can make a case for the existence of lesser gods or god-like entities.
>>44079764
>the church is like a hospital, the sacraments are equal parts medicine and physical therapy
Sounds like what I remember growing up Catholic.
>>44080041
Because older versions, differing translations, and different modern versions still exist to be studied and compared.
The Catholic church and other religious bodies have kept records of many of the changes they implemented and why.
You can actually track the timeline of a lot of this stuff.
>>44080095
>These things are ridiculously consistent.
Yeah..... no. I don't believe you for a second. You're talking shit and you know it.
>>44079690
>The focus of their Faith has changed sooo much over the years, so divorced from the original version, that he's having trouble tapping into the supply of Faith any more.
So literally the plot of Small Gods by Terry Pratchett?
>>44080095
>These things are ridiculously consistent.
>>44080095
>...You really haven't paid attention to how many manuscripts we have, have you? These things are ridiculously consistent.
Yes, for past millennium or so, sure. Before that, not so much. I don't have sources to link at hand but I've seen some of the Apocrypha and it tells much different tales than The Book as we know it.
>>44079673
Still better than the Hare Krishnas. JWs just stand in the subway, Hare Krishnas are annoying chanting motherfuckers.
>>44080140
No, seriously. In the case of the New Testament, last I heard, our thousands of manuscripts were about 98% accurate to each other and never contradicted on doctrine.
You have to realize that the way this stuff was copied was outrageously painstaking. We're talking painstaking to the point that they would throw out a manuscript if the scribe messed up one letter. A case in point is the Dead Sea scrolls, which contained a nearly word-for-word copy of the Book of Isaiah, among other fragments of the Old Testament.
>>44080311
>>44080140
>>44080297
Not that dude, but he's kind of right. We have enough quotes from the first church fathers to support the whole bible. And also, considering that some anon pulled the "hurr durr bible has ben retranslated, therefore it must be wrong meme", I doubt that you people have studied this particullar topic beyond repeating somethings you've read on the internet.
>>44079550
Honestly that's metal as *fuck*
>>44073362
>putting ISIS in your games
>>44080443
>>44080443
Because actively being hunted by Romans who burn the original copies (and authors as well come to think of it), is a great way to ensure accuracy.
>>44078145
>is reminded of the terrible terrible odds of that REM
Don't do this to me /tg/But then I got Athena from that so like I'm in the position to complain
>>44079690
>Hell, he was defeated by iron chariots.
Epic meming broski.
+1 uptipped
>>44082708
>meming
Is meme like the new fuck or something, only not a vulgarity? Like it can be used in place of anything and everything?
>>44083119
>can
Yes you can, but you would be wrong.
>>44079206
You are a good person, Anon.
Rolled 31 (1d100)
Rolling
>>44085238
Not well. I'd give her a 31% chance.
>>44073362
30 seconds to cast greater blasphemer teleport
poof they are all on the sun
So are we discussing the OT or religion, because I can do both as a lapsed-Protestant
>>44085294
Let's compromise and go with Egyptian God lewds.
>>44085490
Ancient Egyptians are inherently lewd, they're like human Brown Elves.
considering the TSC I've been privy too. Anything divine could easily defeat the current ISIS.
Even the pope with a Hadouken
>>44085968
I'd argue but you're right.
>>44085968
>>44086102
A LOT of their myths involved sex or masturbation
>>44085968
Guess there's a reason why she's got so manylewddoujins.
>>44080570
Yea you just confirmed that you have no knowledge of what you're talking abut, since you're just assuming things. I could assume that people would be more inclined to copy some extra manuscripts with the same bullshit trivia you gave. But to entertain your folly, here's some sources, and there are waaaay more:
THE DEAD SEA SCROLLS
Walter Kaiser, The Old Testament Documents (2001), 41.
Archaeologists spent years searching the surrounding caves. By the time they were done, copies of every book of the Old Testament had been discovered (with the exception of the Book of Esther). In some cases there were multiple copies of the same book. For example, there were nineteen copies of the Book of Isaiah, twenty-five copies of Deuteronomy and thirty copies of the Psalms.
Mark Water, Encyclopedia of Bible Facts (2004), 138
part 1.
>>44088896
part 2.
If you’d like to, you can see these manuscripts with your own eyes at the British Museum,
Cambridge University Library, Oxford University, the Israel Museum in Jerusalem, and even online at the Center
for the Study of New Testament Manuscripts website. (source: csntm.org ) And if you know a little Greek or Hebrew, you can look
at these manuscripts and see what they said all the way back in the first, second, and third centuries and compare
them with what the Bible says today. And you’ll discover the Bible says the same thing today it did long ago.
Are there some tiny spelling variations, slips of the pen, and grammatical mistakes in some of the manuscripts?
Yes. Are there accidental omissions and additions in some of them? Yes. Are there different arrangements of the words
in some? Yes. But none of these variants have kept scholars from being able to reconstruct what the original documents
said. (source: And remember, these variants do nothing to harm the doctrine of inerrancy, for as Norman Geisler writes, inerrancy “does not mean that every copy and translation of the Bible is perfect. God breathed out the originals, not the copies, so inerrancy applies to the original text, not to every copy.” Baker Encyclopedia of Apologetics (1999), 93. )
>>44088906
part 3.
quotations by the early church fathers.
Now, it’s also important to point out that even if we did not have any surviving manuscript copies of the Bible,
there is another way of verifying we have accurate copies of the Bible, and that is by examining the writings of
the early church fathers. I’m referring to the leaders in the church of the first three centuries following the original
disciples. Men like Ignatius, Papias, Justin Martyr, Irenaeus, Polycarp, and others preserved the Bible for us in their
writings, commentaries, and sermons. How? By including numerous quotations of the Bible in what they wrote. In fact,
they quoted the New Testament alone more than 86,000 times.This number was calculated by Oxford professor John William Burgon. See Josh McDowell, “Hasn’t the New Testament Changed?” http://www.josh.org/resources/study-research/answers-to-skeptics-questions/hasnt-the-new-testament-changed. For more on Burgon, see: http://www.ccel.org/ccel/burgon.
Many of the church fathers’ writings survive to this day! You can go to Amazon.com and buy an encyclopedic size set of the writings of the church fathers (38 volumes) and see with your own eyes their numerous quotations of both the Old and New Testaments.
And there are way more things to indicate that the bible has been bloody damn accurately preserved. But I'm sure you'll just find a cheap cop-out, or some bullshit study you just skimmed through to support your historically illiterate bias you picked up somewhere along your journey on the interwebz.
>>44087883
Post the bigger version.
>>44088920
And at least one person has checked every single quotation just to be sure. Christians being this anal retentive about our teachings is also why science exists.
Using magic spells of course.
Aren't gods basically wizards?
>>44088955
That's what she said.
>>44088896
>assuming
I am asking for proof, prove to me that the Romans didn't destroy entire versions of the bible.
>>44079595
>and then they beamed and said "WE'RE JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES!" and tried to sell me a faith like some aggressive telemarketer.
Why did this make me laugh?
>>44091812
Anon, you're moving into conspirancy theory territory here.
>>44073362
Image Sauce?
>>44094219
Puzzle and Dragons, a mobage.
>>44074148
>Wala
>>44073824
>Choosing anything other than Rome
Ya'll niggas need Bacchus and Mars
>>44078831
I heard it was more about trichinosis, but I'm sure it could be both
>>44079322
>The two guys who run the Bible study know Greek and Hebrew respectively, and the one guy is teaching his kids Hebrew so that they, too, will be able to read the Bible in the original language.
I mean, that's certainly admirable, but weren't there lots of parts of the Bible that were actually originally written in Aramaic and Greek?
>>44080007
What the fuck?
>>44073488
>>44073372
Why do they keep changing the name?
>>44097425
They don't. The west wants people to think the group is indecisive, weak, and has delusions of grandeur.
>>44097425
In fear of backlash against Muslims
>>44080443
This is an intriguing diagram, but what exactly does it mean by "years between original and earliest surviving copies"?
>>44098760
I assume exactly what it sounds like, the number of years between when the work was authored and the oldest surviving copy we have
She would wreck shit, Holmes
free Kurdistan when??
>>44096129
The Old Testament is predominately Hebrew, everything in the new Testament directed at Jews was written in Aramaic which was what they spoke at the time, and was relatively quickly translated into Greek, and I believe most of what was directed at the Gentiles was written in Greek from the get go.
>>44089105
>Christians being this anal retentive about our teachings is also why science exists.
Irish monks REPRESENT!
>>44099765
Go to bed, Alan Moore, you have a spell t-
…Oh, that's actually Shazam Isis, not Promethea, never mind.
>>44099786
>This is actually the kurds best chance to create their own nation.
And it is going to piss off the Turks sooo much that it would be worth it for that alone.
>>44080095
>>44080443
My apologists!
>>44099963
SSSH!
We're copying. Keep it down.
>>44079437
>/his/ is also pretty good for this kind of thing
I've yet to see a religion post on /his/ that didn't go full fedora in under twenty seconds.
That board is cancerous.
>>44100159
Ahh, come now, Brother Fionn, we've ale to brew, too, take a break for a minute.
>>44073362
Well, Ba'al (the lord of storms) has been wrecking their shit since they destroyed his temple, so I'd imagine an actual top-tier deity like Isis would have a flawless victory.
>>44100059
Jerks before Turks. I hope Putin eats them.
>you will never be a qt goddess using your powers to wipe out barbarians
>>44079550
The Multiple Heavens thing is Mormonism.
And it's three Kingdoms of Heaven. The Celestial, where God lives with all the Mormons that did everything right. Then the Terrestrial, which is the middle kingdom. And I forget the last kingdom, but it's for everyone who wasn't a great person and it's still infinitely better then Earth.
The beliefs of the Latter Day Saints are weird, and I got out when I was only a Priest.
Ok, which of the Cat-Headed Goddesses was a super beast in battle but got super slutty when drunk?
>>44100699
Sekhmet.
>you will never prevent the slaughter of all of mankind by getting the goddess of murder super drunk and basically date-raping her
>>44100699
Sekhmet. And it was sleepy, not slutty, IIRC.
>>44097672
Not at all. Note how every incarnation of their name includes "Islamic."
>>44100784
Depends on which version of the myth you hear.
The schoolbook mythology has her get drunk and head home with Ra to sleep it off. The less family friendly version has her drunkenly sleep with Ra in the non-restful sense of the word.
>>44100847
Ah.
>>44100873
All things considered, it's hard to say which version of the story is closer to the original, since there have certainly been cases of lewds being added to ancient myths by writers centuries later to titillate the audience.
>>44100977
I'm a hardline Kemetboo and so aspire to read the originsal.
>>44100977
I wonder how things from our time will be embellished.
Oh god... Bet you 1000 years from now Japan will turn George Washington into a girl.
>>44101081
Haven't you seen the series of images with all the major 20th century dictators as cute girls?
>>44101204
>that little ribbon tied around Saddam-chan's neck
Is that a reference to pic related?
>>44101204
I saw the Nazi Leaders ones...
Link?
>>44101382
I don't have a download link for the full set, but I'll post a few of the best.
>>44101484
>>44101542
>>44101484
Oh hey I kinda remember this dude! Just for the glasses really.
Oh shit, is there an Osama...san?
>>44101640
Unfortunately not.
I guess it's my male libido, but there's something about taking these murdering psychos and turning them into hot chicks that makes them more sympathetic.
>>44080461
Dante's Inferno is really cool. Some parts are pretty violent and some parts are actually kind of funny.
My favorite circle was the the Malebolge. It thought it was funny that Dante devoted an entire section of the Malebolge to Flatterers (think modern day advertisers and marketers).
Inferno really make me think about myself and where I was headed in life and all my sins I guess.
I need to finish the whole thing though, I only got halfway through Purgatory before I had to return the book to the library.
>>44101382
Here you go, anon. I'm not sure if this has all of them, but there's a good variety.
imgur.com/a/2i3rH
>>44102165
I agree, Inferno is pretty cool. But god DAMN is Purgatorio boring! It's like being IN Purgatory! I could only get half way myself, for the rest of it and Paradisio I just had to read the little summaries of each Canto they had in my translation.
>>44102168
Hmmm... lots of poofy pants, and I don;t really like the Stalin, but the rest of these are pretty great.
>>44102210
>>44102165
I just want to say. Every time I see Inferno riffed on in pop culture somehow It pains me to only ever see Inferno.
Like even if it doesn't obey the source material because it is hard to get through, let alone make palatable, I'd love to see "Purgatorio" tossed out as a videogame.
It would probably be trash but I want to fucking see it!
>>44102210
What got me into it was watching this. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fr4wmvRmQ20
After I watched it I wanted to read the actual thing.
I agree with you on purgatory though, it was kind of boring. Maybe Dante was just better with doom and gloom than with redemption.
ANCIENT EGYPTIANS WERE THE FIRST FURRIES
>>44102419
Supposedly fucked crocodiles, too. Cure for impotence to mount a female.
>>44102347
Is that a real movie, and is it good?
>>44074235
I'd change Loki for Tyr, guy is a total bro and totally underrated
>>44102449
Cant get it up?
Tried everything?
Come over to the Traditional Egyptian Pharmacy and fuck a crocodile!
We offer both normal and bondage (for your safety) varieties!
>>44102500
Yeah its a real movie. Its pretty good. Its a modern take on Inferno and all the punishments have a modern twist, like sodomites are forced to dance to shitty EDM music for eternity and the greedy are forced to push around expensive heavy items like cars.
>>44102699
>like sodomites are forced to dance to shitty EDM music for eternity
giggled like a motherfucker
>>44102658
I like how fucking a crocodile comes in "normal" variety.
Bast is best cat.
>>44100328
>Mecca
>ISIS
>>44073824
You know there is a moba that basically does this right?
>>44102699
I should check it out then.
>>44075037
So... yes?
>>44073362
If gods existed, do you think war gods like Aries, Sekhmet and others would use modern weapons like assault rifles and grenades?
Also, where does the whole "guns don't work on mythological beings, but swords and other pre-gunpowder weapons do" thing come from? That always sounded like bullshit to me.
>>44102851
So, question;
Where does Bast being a lust goddess come from?
My research on her shows nothing about that.
Does Egypt even have a lust god/goddess?
>>44103848
One of Bast's domains was fertility and a protector of pregnant women. Egyptian women would wear amulets with Bast and a group of kittens on them. The number of kittens being the number of children they wanted. The Greeks saw Bast as another version of Artemis since they are both tied to the moon and share roughly the same domains.
>>44103786
I like to think that gods reflect their worshipers/the times, to a degree. So the modern god of war would carry a rifle and ride around in a tonk, while a god of commerce would dress in snazzy business suit and have a thousand dollar haircut.
>>44103848
Yes, pretty much all of them. Something that isn't that well known these days is that the Egyptians had a lot of sexual imagery in their mythology
>>44097425
ISIS stands for International Islamic State, ISIL is.. Idk. Daesh is actually a mispronunciation of their actual name in Arabic. DAESH is used by the European media, particularly the French, to insult them - it means foot, and pisses them off when people call them Daesh
>>44104278
So what you're saying is... We've been calling them the foot clan?
That's way too cool. Let's just call them "those bastards".
>earlier today, a suspected member of " those bastards" was arrested in connection to the bombing by "those bastards" in Paris
>>44104308
Yes, but remember in the context of their culture, feet are considered unclean. This is one of the reasons Jesus washing someone's feet was a huge huge fucking deal. Calling them Daesh isa big insult.
>>44104210
Online sources? Just bought an Egypt mythology book off Amazon a while ago, hope it's good.
Plus,muh magical realm.
I already know about Horus saving the world with buttsex and "it's not gay if-" trickery.
>>44104398
I just wanted to make a ninja turtles reference, really.
>>44104578
How.. How does buttsex save the world and how did he claim it wasn't gay?
>>44104578
>>44104618
God butttsex?
>>44104618
>>44104675
>Few records of homosexuality exist in Egyptian mythology...
>The most well-known example of this occurs in the power-struggle between the sky-god Horus, and his uncle Set, the destructive god of the desert. Set's attempts to prove his superiority include schemes of seduction, in which he compliments Horus on his buttocks and tries to anally penetrate him. Unknowingly failing, Set ejaculates between Horus's thighs, allowing Horus to collect his semen to use against him. Set believes that he has conquered Horus by having "performed this aggressive act against him". Horus subsequently throws it in the river, so that he may not be said to have been inseminated by Set. Horus then deliberately spreads his own semen on some lettuce, which was Set's favorite food (the Egyptians thought that lettuce was phallic). After Set has eaten the lettuce, they go to the gods to try to settle the argument over the rule of Egypt. The gods first listen to Set's claim of dominance over Horus, and call his semen forth, but it answers from the river, invalidating his claim. Then, the gods listen to Horus' claim of having dominated Set, and call his semen forth, and it answers from inside Set. The association with an evil god such as Set reinforces the negativity of homosexual relationships, even for the active, participant.
>At least some authors, however, have interpreted an at least more neutral message. In some versions, the act between Horus and Set was consensual, if improper, and Set's consumption of Horus' seed produced Thoth's lunar disc, thus being somewhat positive in outcome. Likewise, Set was not demonised until very late in Egyptian history, and the sexual act has been recorded since the first versions.
>>44104731
Man, Mythology is weird.
>>44104731
Now that's the kind of shit that PCs would get up to if they were gods.
>>44101204
>Saddam
>>44101484
>>44101542
>>44101587
>>44101887
>Japan will draw you as a qt animu grill
Just one more reason to become a dictator.
>>44104731
you go Ancient Egypt
>>44104830
>>44101204
Sadam has no right to be that hot.
>>44100245
Who Ionan up in this bitch?
>>44101484
>Houtengeki is getting in on this shit too now
>>44104278
ISIS is the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria. ISIL is the Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant. It changes because their territory is changing. IS is just "the Islamic State", but that probably gives them too much legitimacy.
>>44104883
It would actually be an extremly effective method of dealing with dictators. Some sort of ray beam that turns them into cute grills. Any ability they might have had to rule by intimidation is instantly gone.
>>44103848
>Does Egypt even have a lust god/goddess?
There's this one god who just has a massive boner.
Don't know what he does, but he does have a massive boner.
>>44102562
Sure, but he's not nearly as important as the Herald of Twilight in the grand scheme of things. Loki kind of needs to be there or the whole Norse everything starts falling apart.
