Pick one of your favorite characters you've roleplayed in the past or are currently roleplaying. Now tell us how they would react to this scenerio:
Your character is eating at a restaurant (or simply there to meet someone if they don't eat) when a man dressed up in a "sad-clown" outfit with enough explosives to turn the entire building into rubble strapped all around his chest. He's crying, waddles up to the table your character is sitting at, and blubbers that life just isn't worth living anymore but he doesn't want to die alone, all the while with his hand on a "dead-man's switch" (if he LETS GO of the button, it activates) connected to the suicide vest.
What does your character say/do?
>>44050728
Well, I'm always roleplaying as myself, technically.
I sit beside him and say: "Do it faggot."
>>44050728
>What does your character say/do?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vfHCaQ0_a4g
>>44050728
>Druid
I take him out to a nearby forest and calmly sit with him.
"Feel the air and the wind. The sun above, the earth below. The trees around and the sky waiting patiently. Can you honestly tell me that there is no point in being here?"
What happens next depends on what he does, but I offer to fall with him if he truly believes nothing is left.Inscribed Resurrection scroll set about a half-mile north of wherever we ended up.
>>44050728
Possession of high grade explosives without a permit, inappropriate attire, and threatening an officer of the watch. You just bought yourself a lifetime in the dungeons creep.
>>44050728
"One little cafe in Seattle?
"is this good enough for you? these few miserly people, your gravemates? tell me, sorrowful one, did you ever desire to do something great?
"You can...die here and now....
"or, you can die where the world will remember you...
"....forever."
*offers my hand*
Stuff him in my bag of holding and toss him out the window
I sweet-talk and distract him like the slimy bastard I am, then use my obnoxiously-high sleight of hand bonus to tie my cloth napkin tight around his hand without him realizing it.
And if it goes up, I have evasion and a high dex, so there's a good chance I'll be fine. Shame about everyone else in the restaurant.
>>44050918
>You take 100 D20 in damage from a small (on-fire) building collapsing on you after surviving the explosion, gas main blowing up, and the toilet letting loose the contents of the septic tank.
My Black crusade Tzeetch sorc laughs. Holds the killswitch button down with his psychic powers, and then mind controls the clown. Makes him sit down at a table and proceed to eat his own flesh, and constantly say ``Something tastes funny`` until he expires.
>>44050728
Use Mage Hand to keep the button pressed, of course. Then cast sleep/hypnotic pattern and throw him outside.
>>44050958
So wait, his character dives out of the building, probably also passes his reflex on evading the gas main exploding, and no, the septic tank wouldn't explode like that.
He'd probably take 6d10 at most. None, most likely, if he has Improved Evasion and not just Evasion.
>>44050728
she would look at him and say "oi , no reazun ta be upset. ill show you a good time" they would then go somewhere else get high and my character would play the most inspiring song hes ever heard and if that doesnt work shed sleep with him. shed probably sleep with him either way
Rolled 3 + 8 (1d20 + 8)
>>44050728
I roll to seduce.
>>44052164
Seeing as he is hopelessly depressed I might say that passes
>>44052164
>>44052608
Careful, you're only temping him to BLOW HIS LOAD all over you.
*Honk*
>>44050728
My character has 240 ft movement per round while taking a run action and doesn't give a shit about the collateral damage because the patrons aren't his species and aren't his problem.
>>44052637
Bueno
>>44050728
>Gram is eating crackers.
>Juggalo threatens to blow up restaurant.
If Gram is alone...
>Gram grabs another pack of crackers.
>Teleports out.
>Building explodes.
>Gram continues to eat crackers on a city bench.
If with the party...
>Gram grabs another pack of crackers.
>Teleports out.
>Building explodes.
>Gram continues to eat crackers on a city bench.
>finishes crackers.
>uses locate creature to find his friend's remains.
>Resurrect the party. Have the Wizard resurrect the undead warblade.
>Complain that my feet hurt and wish I was back at the castle fucking big Bertha.
>Party bitches about losing a level.
>>44052890
>Playing an edition where you lose a level for being resed
>>44050728
Being who he is, Fox would likely look up from his plate, see the man in front of him, and immediately offer a polite, friendly, but firm "You want to keep your thumb on that button, friend." To the rest of the diners, he would add, "Everything is fine here, there's no need for distress or calling authorities; everything is under control, so please resume your normal days."
What follows would doubtless be a lovely conversation about the man's troubles, trials and tribulations, where the sad clown, encouraged and emboldened, shares his sorrows in a safe, welcome environment, free of judgement or blame. The only mentions made to the explosive vest are by way of explanation, motives and reasons explored calmly and warmly; in the end, without quite knowing why, the clown feels enlivened, unburdened, and free of the sorrows and pains that seemed once to lead only to this final destiny.
Before he departs, Fox calls him over to offer a last, whispered word of advice:"You want to go to 127 North Rosehaven, Suite B. You want to find the man in the high silk hat. You want to give him a big hug, and at that moment, you want to release that button. Nothing in this world will make you happier."
Reynard 'Black' Fox, thePersuader, then returns to his meal. Have to try harder than that to get to us, he thinks to himself as the clown walks away.
>>44050728
"Well if you are going to die, might as well have a nice cup of Joe before hand." Then I buy him a some coffee and we try to talk it out.
Do ODSTs eat lunch in restaurants?
Rolled 18 + 17 (1d20 + 17)
>>44050728
He's come to the right man.
My character wipes his mouth with the napkin and stands up: the two meters tall wall of muscle towering over the clown, his expression one of rage.
"People like you really piss me off, you know? I just wanted some peace and quiet and then you have to weep in my face."
>roll for intimidation as glare down at the tiny sad clown.
Rolled 17 + 7 (1d20 + 7)
>>44054753
>I want to coerce him into still pressing that button.
"So, you know... let's talk about how sad and enraged we are, right?"
>roll to grapple
Rolled 9 + 13 (1d20 + 13)
>>44054779
>assuming I got a hold of the clown's hand, I will keep him from letting go of the button, by pressing it myself.
"Let's go, clown."
>roll against the clown's strenght to see if he manages to get free.
Rolled 20 + 17 (1d20 + 17)
>>44054789
>as I mantain an iron grip on the clown, I draw him in for a bear hug, before I jump with super strenght out of the restaurant, breaking the ceiling: with a few hops I should be in the clear space, far away from the city.
>I release the clown.
"Now then."
>I stop grappling him and push him away.
"What the fuck is wrong asshole?"
>roll to intimidate, trying to coerce information out of him
>>44054809
>>44054779
>>44054753
I really needed those rolls for the upcoming session... fuck.
>>44050891
I feel like the clown would just let go at this point...
Is your character sturdy enough to survive an explosion?
>>44050728
>YOUR LIFE IS WITHOUT MEANING MORTAL, BURN THE INNOCENTS TO THE GROUND AND DIE KNOWING THE PLEASURE OF SLAUGHTER
Man a Night Lord is the second worst thing he could sit across from.
>>44050728
My character is a socially built techpriest, who currently only has one arm and is suffering two exaustion penalties. thankfully he can still diplomance.
In a thick southern Accent"Hey man, I know life can be hard. Real Hard. I see your in a lot of pain and that burns me to the core man, but this isnt the way to go about it. These fine people around us are just good innocent Imperial citizens going about their lives, they have families to provide for and an almighty Emperor to adore. You want to die? I would prefer you live, but he on Terra can use a good death! When you blast yourself and all of us straight to Holy Terra, do you think he would look fondly on you for sending so many of his servants there ahead of time? No way man. If you really want to die, and you want to die in good company, then I know a lot of good people where you can die hard, and fast, and for the good of the Imperium, die in the company other good men and die knowing that whatever lies beyond the veil is going to be much, much better than whatevers down here. What do you say, friend? If we're going to die, lets die to glory!"
>>44050792
My current character is a lich, so I'm going to do exactly this: >>44050792
>>44050728
I am the child of TEZCATLIPOCA! You are an insignificate maggot!
Then I show him my full glory and force him to leave me alone and fuck off. I know this works because I prophecised it.
>>44050728
>What does your character say/do?
Double check that my backup insurance is sorted out and that there are plenty of cameras watching, then try to turn it into a piece of performance art for the reputation.
>>44050728
Stall for time whilst hacking into his PAN and disable the detonator under the table.
>Grab his hand tight so he can't let go
>Beat him unconscious with my free hand
>Tie his hand to the switch
>Drive him out to the middle of nowhere
>"Do it faggot"
>>44050728
"Dam, brother you one real hardcore sonuva' bitch ain't cha. If you gon die you bes do the right thing and git right with The Lord."
>undead paladin
Will probably sit with him and try to convince him that life is sacred and beautiful and is always worth living even when things are bad. Cuz hey, if you feel like shit now it means you felt good before, and you can man up and do something to feel good again
>>44054273
DIABOLICAL
>opium addicted flame oracle
>offer clown some drugs and tell him it's cool man
>preach to him about how life is good
>probably blow up anyway, since even if he's convinced of my arguments he still is probably too fucked up to reliably hold the switchsurvive the encounter anyway depending on type of explosive, since I'm immune to fire damage
>>44056146
I don't think it's the fire that does the damage, much rather the curshing movement of air and debris all around. But that's just me.
>>44056163
*crushing
>>44056099
Well now; I appreciate the voice of approval. Still, to be perfectly honest, I'm a little surprised to look back at Fox and realize how very -little- I actually abused his power.
I mean, the guy was practically Killgrave, with the added benefit of being a shapeshifter (theme for the game was 'Mythos hiding in plain sight', like White Wolf but with Bigfoot and the Mothman; Fox was the Black Fox of Salmon River); really, I got more mileage out of my 'turn invisible' ability than I did the 'Persuasion'. A shame really.
>>44050728
Current character would try recruit the dude. Hes a Sith Acolyte, having someone willing to blow themselves the fuck up like that on his team would be valuable.
''I can promise you you won't. And if you work for me, I can promise you a death with meaning.''
If that fails, force manipulation time.
If that also fails, grab yer mans hand so the switch cant trip and use the lightsaber to sever it at the wrist.
>>44050728
Well, my character would simply die with him. After all, He would just reform 1d10 days later.
Depends.
>70 year old Akashic Brother.
He would invite him for some chinese tea and talk about his life, offering aid as much as he can in his own experience.
If anything doesn't work use his 5 dots in Do to paralyze the hand of the clown so he keeps pressing the switch and then disarming the bomb with some magic.
Then invite him to his home to keep chatting and drinking tea.
> Red Guard Barbarian Priest of Arkay
Tell him about my own backstory and try to give him some purpose in his life.
>>44050728
Joshua. Hes moppy to an excruciating point but somehow this leads him to hilariously inappropriate and/or dangerous moments that have nothing to do with what he set out to do.
His lifes a living hell so he'd probably start prying the clowns hands off the switch in hopes it would go off only to find its a glitter bomb not a bomb bomb.
For this I pick a character who only really appears as an NPC anymore, but has a lot of lore tied to him, a wizard who wears a mask at all times.
>The wizard would look up at the man, and ask him to sit down across from him.
"I've thought that myself a few times as well. I've thought that I'm worthless, that I've no reason to go on, that there's nothing and no way things can improve for me. But every time, I reminded myself, life rolls on. Whether we like it to or not. Life is a great, mighty and wonderful boulder, you run from it as long as you can and then you dodge out of the way into greener pastures. You my friend, I don't think you don't want to live anymore, I think you don't want to run anymore. Do you mind if I tell you a bit about myself?"
"I was born into a family with a winery, I was a clutz, my brother was always better than I, he was set to take over the family business. When I was in my teenage years, we had a bad harvest, and my parents had to make a choice, they made it. They kicked me out, wished me the best, they couldn't afford to look after me any longer. I bounced from job to job for a time, but in the end, no one in my town's good will extended so far to hire someone as useless as me. So I skipped over to the next town."
"Here, no one knew me, no one wanted to hire me either. I ended up in the gutter, starving, I couldn't provide for myself. I couldn't do anything, I was worthless, the great big boulder of life was ready to run me down, I felt a lot like you must right now. But I was saved, the captain of the guard made me an offer. He would care for me, I would never need to worry for food, clothes or a warm bed again. I would simply need to be his lover."
"Now, I'm no lover of men, but well... Did I really have much a choice...?"
"For a time, I was happy, truly happy, I'd found my greener pastures. I thought I might actually love the fellow, but... Well..."
to be continued.
>>44057012
"He turned out to be quite the jealous sort. And a bit too fond of the drink, the beatings began after a few months, the tirades, the abuse. I was a meek little nobody, I couldn't do anything about it. But then I was saved yet again from that great big boulder. The guard had an advisor you see, the town had no real wizards except this old retired fellow, working as a cobbler to wile out his twilight years. He took me on as an apprentice when he found I had some meagre talent. He and his wife were my safety from Antonio, somewhere I could feel at home. When I grew skilled enough, they made me this outfit, this mask. Somehting antonio would never recognise as being me. I was a talented enough wizard to make my own way in the world then, and with everything hidden... I left. I went back to my own home town. And my parents, oh they were guilty let me tell you, they thought me long dead, and they opened their arms happily now they saw I'd made something of myself... But... That night, while I lay in my old bed, thinking of what i'd do. The town was attacked, wiped out to a man... I could have done something, I could have fought against that necromancer... But I didn't... I ran... I gave up my old name that night, my old me. That man had fallen under the boulder and couldn't be saved. He couldn't handle the guilt. I became Motley, I became the mask... I've not looked back since. I've found a new life, of adventure, and fun, that boulder kept catching up to me, but this time, I've escaped it, I've found my greenest pasture..."
"That's what I ask you to do my friend, I know it's not easy to push on, but life changes... Life rolls on. You might have to give up who you are now, but if you don't want to be that person, why's that so awful? I promise, if you keep pushing on, no matter what, if you just keep moving forward. You'll find your greenest pasture, I'll help you if you want... Is there anywhere in the world you'd like to go? I can teleport us there."
best thread on /tg/ right now....
>>44057012
Did anyone care who he was before he put on the mask?
>>44057436
Who he is, isn't what matters. What matters is his plan.
Given that this character has claws the size of a truck, she just grabs his hand with one claw, and disembowels him with the other. She might throw in the biting and goring for fun.
She was a freak of nature.
>>44057436
No it doesn't look like they did.
This thread makes clear the ratio of good role players to complete faggots.
>>44058875
go on, tell us about how you are objectively right in this instance.
>>44050728
>last character was an eccentric alchemist
either:
"who are you kidding that's not C4 tied to your chest, it's just modelling clay, I'm not an idiot"
or...
*puts his hand on the clown's shoulder,* says "I'm sorry you feel that way" then proceed to inject him with enough Drow Poison to put a moose to sleep and disarm bomb-vest in his sleep. Clown will likely wake up in a straight-jacket inside an asylum, May or may-not have mild radiation poisoning afterwards.
Lucky me. A fire and ice based caster was my last character. McDulan would simply freeze the damn clown's hand on the trigger. Turn it into a block of ice. But seeing how magic works and how auras of those who have magic work, I would also have to encase him in a shield bubble to dampen the blast as a device like that would not last long around my character and the team.
Fuck i'm a guardsmen medic who still gives a fuck. I try to talk him down and find common ground. I actually had to try to talk down a khorne cultist because we were best buds and
my character had no idea he was that far gone
>>44050728
"So... What. You're a useless little man who wasted his potential, is that it? Couldn't hold on to that little slice of empire you attempted to carve for yourself? Pathetic. Look at me. I SAID LOOK AT ME. I'm accomplishing something with my time on this sphere. When I'm done, I will have brought world peace to this sad existence or died trying. Either way, I will be known, and you will be just another news story that fades away into the ether after a brief moment of shock barely manages to filter through dispassionate, disconnected civilians. You don't want to be forgotten, though. It's why you're here, now. With that." He'd gesture casually to the bomb. "You still have options, though. I have need of someone whose life is so thoroughly over that they would give it all away to become something else. Something greater than what they are. Come with me, and the first thing I will do is feed you. When I have finished, you will again know satisfaction."
>>44050728
>Shadowrun Face
He'd talk him down, get the bomb vest disabled, then get Mr Sad Clown laid, and employed as a Shadowrunner.
>>44059811
A shadow runner who does his runs in clown makeup seems par for the course
>>44050728
Al'Anzir would look up from his book, stare at him for a few seconds.
"If you blow up, I'll torture your soul for all eternity if you mess up my book. Do it outside, asshole."
The sorcerer then immediately reads his book again.
One of my favorite characters was a psychic with mind control powers in the vein of the Purple Man (topical comparison; didn't know about that character at the time)
But she was also an antisocial depressive and a paranoid coward, so she probably would have just gotten up and left
>>44050728
Bombing this recaff shop? There is no glory in that. You will kill at most twelve people.
Tell me mortal, do you desire bloodshed?
Power? Fame? Fortune? Confidence?Recognition? Disarm the bomb, and I shall guide you on the Eight-Fold Path to glory.
After all, why settle for a mere dozen when a thousand skulls are ripe for the taking?
Once you disarm the bomb, I shall give you my axe, you will claim the skulls of these dozen, you will do it without pity or remorse, for they are weak-willed.
You will then utter five simple words: "Blood for the Blood God." Then, you shall find your meaning in this life.
There's so much opera talk in this thread I could swear I was attending Carmen
>>44060718
It's this weird thing some roleplayers do called "roleplaying", while they play their roleplaying games. Strange shit, I know.
>>44060981
>this salt
There's more to roleplaying than long winded monologues you know
"A bomb!"
The Corporal would look up from his table, a tired look in his remaining eye.
"I thought being on leave would get me /away/ from the crazies..." He would mumble to himself.
The burly Norse Combat Engineer would slowly stand up, his hands calmly out in front of him.
"Hey buddy, trust me, your not the only one ta think that way from time to time, but just listen to me for a sec, Yeah? I used ta be like that, but things will-"
Corporal Hardrada would then suddenly lung forward, grabbing the man's hand with his left, Hardrada's bionic clamping down on the switch like a vice. He would push his right shoulder into the clown's chest full force, slamming the suicidal man into a wall. His left hand would still be grasping the detonator as he quickly drew a knife from his pocket and held it against the clown's throat, point facing the clown. There would be a somewhat crazed look in his remaining eye as the familiar feeling of adrenaline took over.
"You wanna die mother fucker? I get that, but YOU dont get ta decide when these other people in here do!"
He would then ram the knife into the clown's throat, his remaining, right eye ablaze with hate towards the clown's cowardly actions, his left hand still clamped down over the clown's own, keeping the detonator pressed. He would then turn to the crowd of people in the restaurant now gathered behind him to watch the fight.
"Get tha fuck out of here in case I don't defuse this thing right! GO!"
He would then attempt to defuse the makeshift bomb with only one hand using his intimate knowledge of explosives. After defusing the bomb he would quickly get the fuck out of the restaurant and disappear into a back alley before the cops showed up, he didn't feel like getting dragged into a station anytime soon.
>>44050728
>Tries to run quickly out of the building
>Most likely doesn't make it out
RIP Boriska. You were an awesome character, but survival wasn't your strong suit.
>>44050728
My Orzhov priest smiles at him and folds his fingers together. "Life is not worth living? My dear man, now you're just complaining about the price. Turn off that Izzet device before you do something to regret, and I'll make sure your life has meaning, purpose, and companionship. The Church provides for the needy, you see."
Once he's given himself up, my priest would have him tortured to death, his spirit enslaved as a servitor and reminder of those who threaten the Priesthood.
