So there is this guy who whenever he sees me out he likes to make fun of me because I play tabletop RPGs. He is the typical jock dude who clearly likes to pick on the nerdy types.
Don't get me wrong I like sports too but I need some clever counter points or insults about his love of hockey and football to attempt to make him look foolish.
Thanks /tg/
Fuck off nerd. Go roll some dice and play with your tiny japanese statues.
>>44008238
"I know your bullshit, lizardman," and then you shake him until his mask falls off because you are clearly trapped in an illuminati recreation o the fucking 70s.
>>44008262
Nice one
>>44008238
Call him a fag
>>44008238
Good old shovel to the rescue.
First things first, have you tried to talk it trough like adults?
If you are too pussy to do it, then use the shovel.
Hit him in the knee, hit him in the head, bury him in your back garden.
>>44008360
no no no, doing it all wrong
kill him however you like, but MELT THE BODY DON'T JUST FUCKING BURY IT
>>44008238
Well OP, given that you do in fact seem to be dealing with some sort of caricature from am after school special, I would recommend something about his hobbies involving big men getting all sweaty and piling on each other. This will offend him greatly, on account of it being the 80's
>>44008464
What, shovel advice not good enough for you?'
What is that simple and easy thing that doesn't involve much effort that MELTS the body, huh?
Shovel is good enough.
>>44008238
You can't make fun of him or ridicule him. I mean, you could, but nothing productive would come of it. Guys like this have the mentality of "everything I do is right", it's what helps them get up in the morning. No matter how much you pick apart his shallow lifestyle or ridicule his cave man persona, he will always sleep comfortably at night knowing that society supports and reaffirms the things he likes to do, while you will always remain an outsider.
>>44008238
Because you are so autistic in that you are planning to insult him because, "muh hobbies!" I'll help you out.
Bring up fantasy football.
It's fun right? You get the enjoy your favorite activity, place bets on which one of your friends is going to lose, and create your 'dream team' of badass players.
Well, tabletop rpgs are basically the same thing. You and a couple friends gather together every weekend or so, assemble a badass team of adventurers, and watch as they kill dragons and demons and stuff. The dice are your betting pool, and everyone can have a laugh when you accidental fall into a bear trap or whatnot.
Like sports, RPGs are governed by strict rules, require teamwork and cooperation, injuries and luck are gamechanging factors, and in the end, everyone has a great time.
Now, kindly fuck off, get your shit together, TALK to the guy normally, and lighten up.
Seriously, present it right, and he may ask to join you.
>Source
The huge jock in my group plays an orc specialized in throwing "pig-skins" at enemies.
He got into RPGs because of his love of fantasy football.
OP, why are you telling us this?
>>44008737
This.
Stop acting like a man child, and for all we know, it's just friendly teasing.
>>44008238
OP can't handle the banter.
Tell him that his life is so utterly devoid of meaning that he has to resort to making fun of others using stereotypes and jokes that have become so outdated that the very usage of them is a stereotype in of itself. He will die, some will mourn, but the rest of the world will go on anyway and eventually he will be completely forgotten by every single human being he has every known and loved
>>44008238
Just call him a fag and accept your beating
The fact that you are actually planning 'clever counter points or insults' is incredibly tragic in and of itself, because I can guarantee you that he isn't going to give a shit. The best thing you can do is pick a fight and try to dish out as bad as you get.
>>44009824
>'The fuck you say, nerd?'
and then OP gets his face caved in
>>44008238
Make fun of yourself.
>>44012153
>it works
>>44008549
Lye.
>Heated to 300 degrees, a lye solution can turn a body into tan liquid with the consistency of mineral oil in just three hours. If your kettle isn't pressurized, you won't be able to heat the solution much above the boiling point of water, 212 degrees, and it might take an additional hour or two to complete the process.
>>44008238
Fuck him to establish your dominance.
>>44012250
Kek
>>44008238
> I need some clever counter points or insults about his love of hockey and football to attempt to make him look foolish.
Insulting another person's interests already makes him look foolish - In the eyes of people whose opinion matters. His clearly doesn't. If you really need to, you can call him out for behaving like a highschool kid, but the best move here is to discontinue your association with him.
>>44012300
You still have a bathtub of liquid that is very easily identifiable as a body, though. Not to mention that bathtubs full of fatty acids tend to stink. On the upside, it's really easy to obtain and transport lye, so no reason you can't just do it in an RV or a cabin in the boonies.
Bones don't digest, mind (At least, not in any reasonable timescale) and often provide crucial evidence that brings a would-be killer down - Be sure to dispose of them properly. Pulverise them to dust to speed up digestion, or just scatter them to the wind. Especially the teeth and nails.
>>44012607
Would bleach work on them? I know bleach basically turns bone into chalk. Take those out, soak them in bleach, dry and manually grind and scatter them to the wind.
>>44008238
Just buy a fucking gun like a real adult.
>>44008238
>jock
Literally no longer exists
>>44008238
Please /tg/ don't make me cringe so goddamn often...
Also this belongs on /adv/, if it has any right to exist to begin with.
A piece of advice a policeman gave me. Use a wooden bat, then burn the bat.
A pieces of advise a co-worker gave me. Use a grapefruit wrapped in a towel or cover your fist with a thin pillow so as not to leave marks.
>>44008238
"At least I don't need worry much about if I become too old for sports."
>>44008238
Try graduating high school. That usually works
>>44008238
Make fun of his faggoty fantasy football team.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E9-k2pl6cPU
>>44008238
"Are you hitting on me?"
"Dude, I don't swing that way. Cut it out."
"I'm touched you went to all the trouble to learn about my hobbies, but I'm really not into guys. Sorry to let you down, bro."
or you could just grow up.
or you could fuck his girlfriend.
