>All Imperial Guard are suddenly replaced with Mr. Meeseeks.
What happens?
>>43949484
3 possibilities.
1) They are told to make sure the town is safe, and they replicate enough of themselves to kill everything outside of the city, then explode.
2) They are told to make sure the town is safe, and go insane and kill everyone in the town so they don't have to worry about being hurt anymore because they are already dead, then they explode.
3) They do one job for the town and explode.
>>43949484
Planning and executing campaigns is probably not a very simple task. Nor the operation of an MBT.
Whatever's funniest happens.
>>43949549
I read it as town guard, I'm an idiot, ignore me.
>>43949484
I'M MR MEESEEKS LOOK AT ME!
>>43949599
NO I'M MR MEESEEKS LOOK AT ME!
>>43949484
Who has the box/boxes?
>>43949484
They die for the Emperor
>>43949655
The Imperium obviously.
>>43949484
Mr. Meeseeks can't die right? They'd pretty much become a hive fleet of pure immortality and cleanse the galaxy of xeno filth.
>>43949697
They can die or be killed.
>>43949709
I don't think they can. They can only "die" when their task is complete.
>>43949484
They seem to be minimally intelligent and quite belligerent. If the unit has good enough Commissars then nothing changes bar their kill count because they're now also suicide bombers
>>43949749
Yup thats right because existent is pain to them
>>43949759
Mr. Meeseeks only fear living to long.
>>43949749
Task of an Imperial Guardsman is to die in service to the Emperor. They'd ''die'' at the first opportunity
>>43949776
Yeah but you might want Commissars to herd them. They dont seem too clever like
>>43949807
They're intelligent. They just start to become violent if they live too long.
>>43949850
Then Commissars to keep them in check then? Or even just blam them before they start to harm other units if they are waiting on a deployment
>>43949676
The High Lords? All Generals get a box? All commissars?
>>43949884
No they only die when their task is completed
>>43949850
So you give them a job "kill all chaos forces on X planet". They will fanatically prosecute this goal so that they can die afterwards. Then you make more.
>>43949786
true
>>43949918
But their task is to die in service to the Emperor and the Commissar is his direct representative. If the Commissar kills them their task is complete.
>>43949928
>Make like 100 of them
>Tell them to kill the Hive Mind
>They travel deep into tyranid space killing all who get in their way
>They either kill the Hive Mind or billions upon billions of nids while searching endlessly for the HM
its a win/win
>>43949973
Then they explode after the are made into existence
>>43949986
If the task is too hard to complete within a day, they start to get out of control.
IMPERIUM ROPED ME INTO THIS!
>>43949986
>Only 100
>Not spending an hour pressing the button rapid fire and creating a army of 10,000
>>43949997
But then they didn't die in service to the Emperor. They just died.
They'd need to kill a xeno or something first or take part in a charge and get shot by an enemy. Then they're allowed die.
>>43950037
Good point you win sir
>>43950037
how would that make them even slightly better than a regular guardsman?
>>43950128
they reproduce faster
or more importantly you can get new guys right to the front line
Problem: Meseeks can't be killed but they can be brutally dismembered to the point of being dysfunctional.
It would be easier create Meseeks strike forces for specialized operations. As in... MESEEK MARINES
>>43949986
>tyranids get a hold of the meeseeks gene
>>43950155
HEY! LOOK AT ME! I'M BROTHER MESEEKS!
OOOOOOHH NICE! LOOK AT ME I'M BROTHER MESEEKS! LET'S GO GET THOSE ORKS BROTHER MESEEKS!
ROGER THAT!
>>43950037
>When it is done and Commoragh is ashes, then you have my permission to die
>>43949484
They solve the Chaos problem.
That's what Mister Meekseeks does; he solves problems and then he dies.
Since solving the Chaos problem will get him killed too, everyone's happy.
>>43950160
Oh fuck...
>>43950160
Not sure what benefit there is. It's not like Meeseeks have any traits of value. Without the box, all you get is a swarm that loses half its mass when they eat a planet
>>43950128
See >>43950148
Also they blow up upon death it seems so thats gonna be useful. Use them in MSUs and rush the enemy. Chances are one of the fuckers will blow up the enemy squad
>>43950231
They can't die
>this guy shows up above Cadia
wat do
>>43950306
Considering its Cadia were talking about, half the imperial war machine shows up and spends a lot of resources to blow it up in a spectacular fashion
>>43950306
They die
>>43950306
show him what I got
>>43950233
they don't really explode they just stop existing
>>43950148
If you took the box to the front line what do you do if the enemy over run you and get it for themselves?
>>43949765
Existence isn't painful, it's just really, really uncomfortable.
Which is worse, since with pain you can try to block it out. Discomfort is a bit trickier.
>>43950496
Oh. In that case, at least they're guaranteed to carry out their orders? I mean, you tell a guardsman to do something, he mightn't survive or he might run away. These fuckers seem to sidestep those issues.
>>43949484
Everything goes fine as long as none of them have to improve Jerry's golf game.
>>43950496
Tau Meseeks.
Eldur Meseeks.
Ork Meseeks.Gretchin get jealous of them.
>>43949786
this without any further direction.
>>43949786
Except that is too vague of a command. "In the Service of The Emperor" is too hard to quantify for them.
>>43950690
What if you gave them an objective to take? Like ''clear xenos from that hill and hold it until our engineers can reinforce it as a defensible position''? Would that work?
>>43950714
Yes. Trouble started in the show when they gave the Meseeks vague orders
>>43950306
We finally get to see Creed rap.
>>43950759
So basically they're the perfect guardsmen. You can throw them at problems ad nauseam and they'll always follow orders.
>>43950306
Get Swifty as fuck
>>43950759
What? No. Its the opposite. The Meeseeks were able to complete incredibly vague commands easily. "Make me popular, make me happier". The joke was that the one thing they can't do is fix the failings of a truly incompetent person themselves.
>>43950251
So? They are good for a singular, simple task, and then go pop, if that task is too advanced or cannot be completed in a short time period, they go fucking insane, not even the Hivemind can fix that.
>>43949484
Tell them to 'fix all those problems the Mechanicus has on Mars'
Then they will create a plan so foolproof that a million of them can pacify the insane machines below the Martian surface, and secure the millions of tons of ordnance and pre-Dark Age tech to really jumpstart the Imperium.
Of course it can never be revealed it was the Meeseeks that did it, but rather a very determined group of Guardsmen, otherwise the Inquisition will step in and purge the planet...
Here's what we know about Mr. Meeseeks:
- They cannot die unless their task is complete. They can be injured and deformed but are ultimately immortal before task completion.
- They will go to any length to complete their task. Their moral and ethical restrictions seem to be whatever is most acceptable in the place they are in.
- Mr. Meeseeks has, in theory, an infinite possibility for skills and knowledge. To be able to complete any task, it's assumed that Mr. Meeseeks is born KNOWING the easiest or most effective means of competing his goal, paired with the skills to back up the knowledge in the event that explanation can't work. Take the example from the episode itself, where Mr. Meeseeks helps Summer become popular by single-handedly cordoning off the entire school's gymnasium and assembling an assumed majority of students IN A FEW HOURS. On top of that, he effortlessly rallies the students with a short speech (again, which is allowed and endorsed by the school staff). It's fair to assume that Mr. Meeseeks has a limitless potential, but only applied in extremely specific ways.
- Mr. Meeseeks can summon more Meeseeks using the Meeseek Device.
- You don't even need to tell Mr. Meeseeks what to do. If you press the button with intent, the resulting Meeseek will KNOW. Again, in the episode (and OP's gif) one of the Meeseeks summons more battle Meeseeks without saying anything, just by slapping the button. The Meeseeks immediately attack, so it's assumed that either Mr. Meeseeks can be instructed with mere intent, or perhaps Meeseeks creating other Meeseeks telegraph an objective. Either serves our purpose here.
With all of the above information in mind, now we apply it to the situation.
Replacing the Imperial Guard? Okay.
Summon a Meeseek with the given instruction of wiping out the enemies of the Emperor.
He'll either know immediately what that entails (as Mr. Meeseeks is never TAUGHT anything, he only teaches!) or he can be supplied with the information. Cont.
They solve the problems because that's what they do.
>>43951091
It wouldn't be a stretch to assume you can teach Mr. Meeseeks about the Emperor in a world where the Emperor is a god-king that rules omnisciently or whatever the fuck. Mr. Meeseeks will be able to ascertain the meaning of "enemies of the Emperor".
Then give him the device.
We know that he won't attack YOU, because his goal has nothing to do with YOU. He won't kill you to make his job easier because killing you or the Imperium doesn't help him in the slightest. With this in mind, his only objective is to kill the Emperor's enemies.
This task will be impossible for a singular Mr. Meeseeks.
So - Mr. Meeseeks (probably after a few days of increasing insanity) will begin to spawn other Meeseeks so that he can die, and his only death lies in defeating ALL the Emperor's enemies.
Mr. Meeseeks will assemble an army of other Meeseeks - all with a single-minded devotion to wiping out the enemies from their insanity at living too long. We've seen how violent and psychotic Mr. Meeseeks gets when his task is overwhelming - now just make an army of these bastards and you've supplied yourself with an infinitely renewable resources of Khorne berserkers who CAN'T DIE.
This would be speculation at this stage, but I would like to think that Mr. Meeseeks would eventually form an army, building entire warships and conquering planets to better suit the needs of destroying the Imperium's enemies.
Also, with the whole "infinite knowledge" thing, they would be able to immediately identify heretics and cultists hidden in the Imperium. Well, hopefully, anyway. Who knows? At that stage, maybe Mr. Meeseeks would believe EVERYONE to be an enemy of the Emporer, and would replace mankind in the glory of a universe dominated by a single-minded growth of intelligent, dedicated, and utterly insane Mr. Meeseeks serving in the glory of the Emperor.
Man, that's pretty cool, actually.
>>318671754>>43949648
HI MR.MEESEEKS I'M MR.MEESEEKS LOOK AT ME!
>>43950786
Those goals were vague but had a clear end point. Just saying "go and die" is not gonna produce any useful results
>>43950786
>The joke was that the one thing they can't do is fix the failings of [truly incompetent people.]
So the Imperium is doomed.
>>43950786
>a truly incompetent person
YOU HATE ME FOR BUYING THOSE COINS!
It creates a chaos god."I'M MR. MEESEEKS, LOOK AT ME!" is heared violently through the warp.
>>43950160
>I'M MR. GENESTEALER! LOOK AT ME!
>>43951112
>Kill enemies of the emperor
>Too many, takes too long, Meeseks go insane
>You cannot have enemies when you're dead
>Meeseks Kill Big E
>Bad End
>>43951091
So if we assume the Meeseek has complete info on all the enemies of the Emperor specifically (not the Imperium), what's to say the Meekseeks won't just turn on the Imperium? Remember, they will have a perfect knowledge of the Emperor himself, and what will constitute an threat/enemy to him. So they'll know all about the Dark age of technology, the worship of Him as a god which he expressly forbid, and all the tomfoolery the High Lords are getting upto. I reckon the Meeseek solution would involve a pretty comprehensive internal purge
If we have the Meeseeks at our disposal why are we using them to fight and not say, "Revive the Emperor with the least amount of collateral damage dealt."
>>43951112
This.
Mr. Meeseeks is basically a Dark Age biological Man of Iron, a programmable, nigh-infinitely replicating, unstoppable juggernaut blend of the Grey Goo scenario with all the single-minded fanaticism that Hitler could only DREAM his soldiers could achieve.
Even if they had to rely on the Imperium for all their equipment/transport, suddenly you're lifting a massive burden from humanity. They don't have to leave a human life valueless, and indeed, could begin to take a breath and solidify things, now that they have a Blue Flesh Wall O Doom shielding them without pause or hesitation.
An Inquisitor's job is infinitely easier when Humanity's numbers are manageable, after all. Turning off the runaway population tap normally needed to sustain the Guard/bleed off unrest would help a LOT.
As soon as humanity could take a step back from Skaven-mode....
Things don't become good by any means. But they become better.
>>43951680
Because, by the nature of the GrimDark setting itself, the "least damage" could very well still mean the annihilation of all humans everywhere, forever. Or something even worse.
>>43950192
>When it is done and Commoragh is ashes
>done and Commoragh is ashes
>Commoragh is ashes
Bro have you even been there, the city is literally built on top of ashesFilename kek
>>43951460
But the Emperor has enemies from beyond the mortal coil. Killing him doesn't solve the problem in this case because it delivers him right to his enemies.
Unless Meeseeks is sure of the Starchild thing.
You guys act like Jerry is less of a fuckup than 40k.
An army of galactic IG Meseeks would just do some campaign or even a speech or build some Deathstar or something that turns 40k into End Times with the Imperium getting the Good End.
>>43949484
The Tau become very, very, very deeply confused.
>>43951941
No they are better then tau
>>43949484
What would be the stats of a meeseeks gaurdsmen?
>>43953696
Should be the same as a human.
>>43953741
No the only way to stop him is by removeing all the limbs
>>43953858
Same as necromorph?
Just make it a human statline with W2.
>tell them to fight somewhere for x hours
>after they disappear, repeat
>profit
>>43949587
>>43949549
Honestly still sounds pretty right if you just replaced "town" with "imperium". And either option would be feasible in the grimdark.
>>43949484
>Noble Ethereal, these new Gue'la have broken through the outer defenses, we much fall back.
>No, we will hold this perimiter! For the Greater Good!
>The Greater Go-
>>HELLO! I'M MISTER MEESEEKS LOOK AT ME!
>>FOR THE EMPEROR! HERE I GO!
>>OOH LOOK AT ME! I'M MISTER MEESEEKS!
>>TARGET THE ETHEREAL MEESEEKS! I'M MISTER MEESEEKS
>>OOOH! CAN DOOOOOO!
Well the one thing I am certain could not work would be telling them to serve the Emperor, way to vauge and morally knotted up. But providing every Inquisitor with a Mr. Meeseeks device would certainly help. Make sure they give attainable goals.
>Mr. Meeseeks, I need you to destroy Hive Fleet Leviathan.
>OOOHH BOY, I'M GONNA NEED SOME HELP WITH THIS ONE.
>>43955860
>The Ethereal has fallen! We are lost without him!
>>OOOOH! WE DID IT! >poof<
>poof<
>poof<
>What...just happened?
>>43949986
>Keep your requests simple. They're not go*burb*odss
"Mr. Meeseeks, for the next twelve hours you will use this Meeseeks box to summon more Meeseeks with orders to purge this planet of all Eldar, Ork, Tau, Necron, Tyranid, and Chaos military assets."
>>43956991
Wait, shit they might resort to Exterminatus. Let me try again.
"Mr. Meeseeks, for the next three days you will use this Meeseeks box to summon more Meeseeks with orders to spend three days purging this planet of all Eldar, Ork, Tau, Necron, Tyranid, and Chaos military assets."
>>43957074
"Mr. Meeseeks you have the next 3 days to personally kill as many Eldar as you possibly can. Any additional Mr. Meeseeks you summon will count to your personal score and must be summoned under these same rules. 3 days after being summoned the Mr. Meeseeks in question is released."
>>43957257
Addendum, The box must be handed off after a maximum of 5 presses of the button to the newest Mr. Meeseeks. The only exception to this rule is if the box is in danger of being captured by the enemy, at which point continue to summon Mr. Meeseeks until the immediate threat has passed and continue with Instruction 1. The last Mr. Meeseeks is to alert me when there are no longer any Eldar within a 3 day radius of travel. (Wash rinse repeat with each enemy faction until all of the galaxy is purged in the Emperor's name (the Emperor's name is now Mr. Meeseeks))
>>43949484
They all go back to reddit
>>43957502
Is there a chaos god whose domain includes craving suicide? cause it's about to get buffed beyond comprehension if so.
>>43957717
Possibly Nurgle, though I don't think hed count for mister meeseeks. Due to the fact that they can't decay.
>>43958534
Malal?
>>43949484
>push button on meeseeks box
Mr meekseeks, destroy chaos
>hand him the box
>get the hell out of the way.
>>43959418
Wouldn't he summon enough meekseeks to create a meekseek chaos god? Also, some drawfag start drawing this shit now
>>43959530
That implies that the meekseeks have a soul or at least significant soul power. If tau can get away with having minimal soul presense, I don't see why Meekseeks can't have reduced soul presence too.
Also, as soon as any task is done, the dudes disappear so there's no presence in the warp.
>>43949484
meeseeks are xeno filth generated by heretek technology. we hide it on mars.
>>43949484
DOES ANYONE ELSE REMEMBER NEW ZEALAND BEING NORTHEAST OF AUSTRALIA!? WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!?
>>43950032
>Only 100
>Not spending an hour pressing the button rapid fire and creating a army of 10,000
I counter with:
>Only 100
>Not making one and instructing him to make 10,000 more
>>43961271
there's a way we could make an eternal self sufficient engine of meeseeks producing meeseeks and instructors, what to do after those 10,000 are made (make yourself a replacement and then go kill an ork or something) so that way the meeseeks don't lose morale for staying alive so long, but aren't wasted.
Why do you guys assume Mr. Meeseeks are immortal? Just because they're not supposed to die until their task is complete doesn't mean they literally cannot die. If they had fought amongst each other for just a little while longer or if one of them had found a lethal weapon things could have gone a lot smoother.
>>43961911
That would be even better.
Just send them to kill something and they will kill it or die trying.
>>43961911
One of them had his arms and legs removed and still he fought
>>43962728
I think another had a hole through it, and another one was missing a third of his head. Been a while since I saw that episode though.
>>43961235
Yeah, anon, some of us were moved here from Earth Prime. We're not sure why. There's slight changes, but no one believes us.
