How would you lay siege to a fairy fort /tg/?
fairy siege weapons?
>Dealing with the fae
Not even fucking once.
>>43930620
trebuchets and cannons using cold iron as ammunition
>>43930695
Good way to get cursed out the ass.
>>43930695
What the hell is "Cold Iron" anyway?
>>43930620
Drone strike
>>43930714
Yes and? my goal is to lay siege on their fort, not come out fine and healthy myself
>>43930771
Hell if I know, I just know it fucks up magical creatures like the fae pretty handily
>>43930620
Why bother? They're already under siege, pretty much. Why do you think they retreated to fairy forts in the first place?
>>43930771
It's basically the term for iron.
Fun fact, horse shoes are considered as talismans, not because of it's shape, but because it's the most mundane piece of iron lying around as a help against fairies.
Aeresol iron filings
>>43930809
>Yes and? my goal is to lay siege on their fort, not come out fine and healthy myself
Then why not just suicide bomb it if you aren't worried about self preservation.
why even lay siege then? just you and your army go get drunk and do drugs and fuck hookers until you OD.
Why even respond? Just cover yourself in shit and go out into the city and rape whatever moves.
Brute forcing a fairy dwelling is a bad idea. They're worse than old gypsy women when it comes to throwing down weird esoteric curses. I could do without stubbing my toe on lump of bronze on the eve of my 41st birthday sending me into a persistent vegetative state. Or three generations of drought or something.
Well, if you're not some pure hearted hero fighting to protect or save, that is.
Point is, better to be clever with it. Fae are chaotic as shit, their society is probably a powder keg, make them ruin themselves.
>>43930866
Why are you so offended at me wanting to throw iron at faeries autismo?
>>43930906
I have a fairy fetish and you might kill my future lovers
>>43930866
They could have some bullshit fairy curse on your kingdom and you want to make them regret doing so.
>>43930923
exactly, there has to be a reason we're besieging them in the first place
>>43930948
>fairys cursed the princess to sleep for ages
>princess is your waifu
There another reason just like that.
>>43930923
Oh, so we already fucked up.
>>43930620
In that case we send in a hero. Prince Valiant archetype; sword, shield, cape, the works.
If we don't have one of those, send in a child. Cutest, pluckiest little girl or boy we can find.That'll sort this shit out right quick.
>>43931068
>Oh, so we already fucked up.
Not necessarily. Fairys are assholes.
>>43931068
I like the launching cold iron at them until they yield option better
>>43930809
IIRC Cold iron was iron that was forged cold
Though honestly I think they just wanted fae to not have a special weakness to what most weapons are made from
>>43930771
Just plain old iron. The reason they used to call it "cold iron" is because its cool to the touch
>>43931110
well the more you know
Fairies are cute. Why would you want to kill them?
>>43930620
Send in the witches
>>43930620
Prepare for the biggest quagmire in the history of ever, and Ten Plagues of Egypt levels of bullshittery back home.
>>43931186
Because motherfuckers regularly put your town to sleep with harp solos and set your town on fire with their flaming sword.
>>43931186
Because no amount of cute can offset their massive douchebaggery.
>>43931210
SEE?!
>>43930771
Just plain iron. The more boring the better.
It represents both mundanity and the triumph of civilisation over nature, both of which are anathema to fae.
>>43931210
Or offer you your dreams.
That would be suicide.
>>43931210
Sure if you're one of those edgy players who run grimdark games.
Fairies are harmless despite playing tricks on people.
>and set your town on fire with their flaming sword.
When has that ever happened?
>to sleep with harp solos
fairies play harps? since when?
>>43931210
>>43931287
Thats a real story by the way. It had finn mac cool or someone. He beat him by keeping himself awake by stabbing himself and then throwing his cloak over the fairy and beating the shit out of him.
>>43930620
>>43930620
Biological warfare, send people into there enclaves with diseases and curses on them designed explicitly for the far. When they make those people party themselves to death they'll wake up to Dire EbolAIDs fucking everywhere. Sure they can cure it, but they'd burn massive amounts of mama in the process. Which is where the cold iron warforged come in with torches and more biobombs.
Alternatively nuke it from fucking orbit.
>>43931287
Modern day and touhous maybe
classical fairies would ruin your life because you told them to stop screwing over your neighbors
which is also a real story, a farmer freed a fairy from under a rock and he helped him in various ways
until the farmer scorned him for ruining those living around him lives
at which point the fairy ruined his, even killing his sons if I remember correctly, it has been awhile since I read it
>>43931186
Cause they are autists who got to be the little girl, and act accordingly.
>>43930620
Fairies live in nature, right? Burn down the forest after arming and armouring all your men and all your horses in and with iron. If possible, surround the burning woods with these men. Otherwise, post watches with signal fires and have your cavalry lightly armoured and mobile - rush them to wherever the fae attempt to break out. The final component is a shit-ton of iron projectiles: iron arrows, iron shot (depends on setting), iron bolts, trebuchets firing iron, etc.
Destroy the fae by destroying their home and prevent them from leaving with solders wielding iron. Easy assuming you have an ass-load of resources.
From geosynchronous orbit, beyond the horizon.
Fuck the fae. Fuck their bullshit. Fuck them from orbit without warning.
With a rain of 240 mm rockets, launched 10km away just in case.
Fae are bastards to clear out, if they get one inclination of who you are they'll curse you dead or worse. That's why you use ranged weapons, and since they are allergic to technology, hit em with iron shavings and pretty much anything else that makes nature shit its pants so pretty much be America in the Vietnam war.
Thus creating the Fairietnam War, considering the moral ambiguity and untold horrors that could become of this.
>>43931110
No, that's just extra bullshit tacked on to it in the modern day to make the fae more threatening.
Back in the day they literally just meant iron. Iron was toxic to faries. Cold iron was just a descriptor. People hung horseshoes as a anti-fairy device, for crying out loud.
>>43930771
I was told it was Iron that was shaped without fire,
>>43931287
>Fairies are harmless despite playing tricks on people.
Oh you are just fucking adorable.
>>43931462
It's the only way to be sure.
>>43931639
>moral ambiguity and untold horrors
Fuck off you hippy shit.
>>43930695
>>43931639
Then, after you bomb the Unseelie Court into dust and salt all the lands with ground up iron, you're left with a cold dead world bereft of the magic that once filled it with life. It's only then you realize that when your mother was pregnant a fairy switched her child with a fairy and that fairy is you. As the last embers of magic in the world fade and you with them, in the distance you hear the laughter of all the fairies you've slain echoing on the wind, as even this was part of their grand and yet childish game, and then you too disappear.
The End.
Unsuccessfully
>>43932558
>implying magic begets life
>implying life doesn't beget magic
>>43930620
What exactly am I up against
>>43931306
Finn McCool did a lot of things.
For one he was the first white haired protagonist. He also tried to build a bridge from Ireland to Scotland. Thank God he gave up on that idea.
>>43930620
There's already a number of books outlining how to do this
>>43932679
A bunch of childish amoral creatures with ill-defined powers over nature, fate, and reality. Capable of granting men their fondest wishes or bringing them to ruin. Often times doing both. Just for giggles.
>>43932828
I've seen Ferngully enough times to know how this goes.
>>43932558
I don't like this story, tell me another
>>43934423
Yeah, sure, buddy. I'll tell you the story of how I got drunk and passed out watching Columbo. Once upon a time, I walked out that door behind me to get some scotch.
>>43934500
and then?
>>43930771
A poetic epithet for iron, usually in the sense of a weapon. It's somewhat archaic, the term "cold steel" is more common.
Compare "hot lead".
>>43930771
It's from a poem by Rudyard Kipling, published in 1910
>Gold is for the mistress -- silver for the maid --
>Copper for the craftsman cunning at his trade."
>"Good!" said the Baron, sitting in his hall,
>"But Iron -- Cold Iron -- is master of them all."
The reason it's called cold iron? Because it makes the verse scan. And of course any random iron object probably will be cool to the touch unless you leave it lying in the sun, but there's no tradition or folklore about it.
Nailing up a horseshoe as a charm against fairies is a genuine and quite old superstition of course, but I don't think it has anything to do with their thermal conductivity.
I feel I'm /x/ when this kind of thread goes out of control
>>43930620
I would cultivate feminist fairies and introduce them into the fairy population.
Their community will be destroyed in just 2 or 3 generations.
>>43930771
Iron that has been cold hammer forged for better rigidity and stiffness.
>>43930620
Well the only reliable way to get inside a fairy fort is to get drunk and fall asleep on top of it. Trouble is, once they have you under the hill you're at a marked disadvantage. I wouldn't count on them letting you come in with your weapons, or your being able to fit a sufficiently large force on top of the rath.
I think in these circumstances a suicide bombing is your best bet. With any luck they'll just assume it's part of your clothes and your volunteer need only activate his explosive vest as soon as he wakes up after being whisked away. But I'd say it's only 50/50 that he'll have the presence of mind to blow himself up first thing instead of taking a drink from them or agreeing to play the fiddle for their dances, and then next thing he's locked into being their servant for a year and a day.
So failing that, you could just bulldoze the fucking thing. They'll be pissed at you, but horseshoes are cheap.
>>43934626
even allowing that that's true, do you have any idea how long a fairy generation is?
>>43930620
>not welcoming your new fae overlords
>>43931287
clearly you are unfamiliar with the classical depiction of faeries
>>43934675
Just circle the fort with iron. Keep them all in there.
>>43930620
Burn it
>>43932743
Mah nigger.
>>43930620
shot putters, they are around enough iron for it to be difficult for the fey to get close to them, ergo it's harder for them to sabotage my ranged artillery than wooden Bastille
>>43930620
I solve this the /tg/ way: I send in an intrepid young swordsman and his ragtag group consisting of a rogue, a priestess, and a magician.
Problem solved.
>>43939880
>I solve this the /tg/ way
You mean fuck them and or start a quest thread?
>>43930620
Pour molten iron down the entrance hole.
>>43930840
>>43931113
>>43931230
All of these posts seem to imply that iron's effectiveness against fey comes from its utterly mundane and secular nature, being an opposite to the fey's magical and supernatural nature. But would't a horseshoe's popular reputation as a talisman for warding off fey actually decrease its effectiveness, then, as it moves out of the realm of the mundane and more into that of the magical? Wouldn't it be better to beat a fey to death with, say, a carpentry hammer?
>>43930866
Because he wants to protect other people, you massive flaming faggot.
>>43941996
This. Drown them in molten iron.
>>43930620
With friendly fairies. Let the fey deal with the fey. Only way to be safe.
>>43930771
>>43930840
>>43942073
The idea of cold iron being effective against Fey and ghosts, has it's same roots tied with Salt being effective against ghosts and demons.
It was the pagan/animalism/folk lore idea that iron was the bones of the earth, while salt was the blood. If Fey, ghosts and spirits were not of this world, then obviously they'd be most harmed by the purest elements of God's creation?
Thus, cold iron for Fey and harming ghosts and to a lesser extent, demons when blessed, and salt for drawing barriers that could repel and trap them
>>43937469
>>43932743
Didn't he wind up fucking the fairy?
Not that I blame him, of course. In fact...
>>43930620
Have you tried fucking the fairies until they're no longer a problem?
>>43942410
Did he? I never read the later books. Not that I'm complaining.
>>43942519
I think they became a thing in the...either it was the fourth or the fifth book.
>>43932558
sound like a mid-level genera ficiton book that would gain popularity enough to enter the mainstream.
8/10, would read
>>43930771
A type of iron that was specially forged a certain way. You don't see it much made anymore these days but according to folklore it was the most effective kind of iron against things like the fey. Its why it was differentiated from ordinary iron and also due to the way it was made. I believe blacksmiths called it 'cold forging' obviously a type of forging. That was required to make proper and true cold iron.
IF you want to get proper cold iron these days your gonna need to find a smith who knows how to cold forge still.
TLDR cold iron is simply otherwise ordinary iron made by 'cold forging'.
>>43930620
Lots of cold iron dust and industrial fans.
>>43930771
Cold iron is worked iron. A naturally occurring iron nugget doesn’t work, but a symbol of man's domination over the natural world. So possibly plastic would work even better.
>>43942592
Well that certainly an interesting, though false, explanation.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iron_in_folklore#Cold_iron
Throw the Hunters at them. if there is anyone suited to kill supernatural creatures, it would be them
>>43932723
Yea, we wouldn't want those filthy fumblin' dublins here anyway.
>>43934609
Back when /x/ wasn't such shit and they actually researched legends before spouting shit? Yea, I miss it too
>>43931287
The Nukalavee was a faerie.
You are full of shit.
>>43934626
I think they already did that.
Thats why they are such malicious and angry bastards. Also why Germany had so many minor nobles claiming elven heritage at one point.
>>43931287
Fairies are creatures so poorly defined that they as well could be called monsters. Well, aside of their quite consistent dangerous magical powers and even more dangerous attitudes. You as well might call someone edgy for saying that ghuls are man-eaters.
You dump a shit ton of Muslims on top of the fort.
>>43942592
I like how you talk up cold working like it's mystical shit when it's literally just beating the metal into shape without smelting it.
>>43943249
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Work_hardening
>>43942592
You still need to smelt it, otherwise it would be just a lump of iron ore.
>>43942384
It has to do with both being a hard to get and valuable resource at the time.
So, more of interest: the tuatha dé dannan (the Irish fae, before people came up with butterfly people or leprechan) were ~7 good tall faceless, paleskinned goblins, who's sing could put anyone to sleep. Cú Cullainn killed one, but only by stabbing himself repeatedly with the Gae Bolg ( an anti-magic spear) before it got close enogh for him to shank it with that self-same spear. If you're looking for the full story, it's called the goblin of Tara.
the only valid answer is:
>send a seventh son to parley with a fairy
>he flatters the fairy and ask him/her to perform three tricks that will show everyone their greatness
>the tricks are carefully studied in order that turn against the fairy in the end, and leave a breach on their defenses (ex: sending a curse into a mirror and turning themselves in stone or something)
>army takes the fort
>>43931287
You've clearly never heard of the unseelie, mang.
>>43942384
But that was after the fae were Christianized. What about earlier folklore?
>>43943276
Except Iron was common as shit and salt was too near coastal areas. Inland, not so much but it was still viewed as a more earthly substance.
>>43944052
Depends on region. Ireland held the belief that iron was the end all to supernatural shit ever since some dipshit figured out you could pound rocks into other dipshit tools, which is one of the big places where you see tales of fairies and unicorns come from, along with kraut land which share the same roots, those being from Scandinavian folklore.
Truth be told, German, UK, and much of Europe share the same deep roots of folklore, dating back to when the Vikings were running around, fucking up shit.
When Christianity came around, that's when it kinda took a holy war aspect. Back then it was just like
>Yeah, this dude fought some trolls, they're just dicks so watch out if you're a dick to them. They don't like iron or salt so... Yeah.
Kind of this basic high lore, old pagan god shit mixed with religious warship of nature and it's bounties
And turned it into
>INSOMINE PADRE HABANERO SOMBRERO PRAISE ALMIGHTY JESUS WHO BLESSED OUR HERO'S MIGHTY BELLS WHICH RANG OUT, STRIKING THE DEMON KING LUCIFER'S TROLLS WITH IRON AND SALT IN HAND, THE LORDS MOST BLESSED TOOLS
Basically stripped the high lore of the old god's having power, threw in Jebus and YHWH shit but kept the tales of the heroes and monsters while stripping the context that from the earth, by the earth, what was not of this earth would be slain by her children with her own body.
But this was pretty common of christianity as a religion on a whole with many of it's stories about saints and shit being a huge fucking mix of all sorts of other pagan beliefs and prophets from nearby regions, only with the Jesus and YHWH stamp thrown on.
Note, take what I say with a huge grain of salt, there are dozens of different views and sources that alter any sort of answer you can draw depending on the region you study the most, this is the general jist.
Build another Chernobyl sarcophagus, but this time is made of iron
all these people insisting they know the right way to smelt "cold iron" when it's been said a thousand times it's just a poetic way of referring to regular-ass iron...
>>43944709
>Note, take what I say with a huge grain of salt, there are dozens of different views and sources that alter any sort of answer you can draw depending on the region you study the most, this is the general jist.
Your teply was better than nothing though, anon. Thank you for taking the time to write it. I much appreciate it.
>>43930620
i wouldnt becauzse,,,, the< are hot and therefore i would fight o their side or chose a diplomatic solution
>>43946831
Not all fairies are hot, my friend. Do you really want to get penetrated by a leprechuan? Or stick your dick in a dullahan? Or get oral from a banshee?
People hear fairy and they immediately start thinking of precocious pixies playing tricks on their dicks like tiny curious children. Every fairy isn't Tinkerbell, and even Tinkerbell could do some shit to you that you wouldn't like if you pissed her off. Maybe you forget that she was temperamental as fuck?
>>43943462
This guy's got the right of it.
>>43930620
With a strike team of Alice, Prince Phillip, Finn MacCool, Tom Thumb, Puss in Boots, and the girl from Labyrinth.
>>43947120
noo more like nymphs and shit dude... if its a leprechaun fortress...
exterminatus!
>>43948516
Alice would just wander around making glib observations
Sara from the Labyrinth might get seduced depending on if they send in the poster boy Fae
Tom Thumb was probably a changeling of some sort
Puss in boots was a talking animal and as such I wouldn't trust it when faeries are concerned
I have no idea who Prince Phillip is
Fin McCool, however you spell it, was in some stories half faerie so I wouldn't trust him on this one either
Basically the only trustworthy one there is Alice. Sadly she's useless.
>>43930620
Fire
Almost too much Fire
>>43930620
Call in a favor from Mr. Fowl
>>43930620
With golems. And airstrikes. And napalm. In fact, screw the golems and airstrikes, we'll just lob enough napalm into the fort to turn it into a lake of fire. With fairies, the only good kill is overkill.
>>43931871
You were told wrong. Worked iron and steel implements are just referred to as "cold iron" or "cold steel" since, because they have high heat conductivity, they will naturally feel fairly cold when you handle them (or they will as long as they haven't been left out in the sun or absorbed enough body heat to rise above room temperature). You can see for yourself if go grab a knife or fork or something from your kitchen and press it below your wrist.
Cold-worked iron implements were never really a thing, except for meteoritic iron, which you shouldn't forge, since meteoritic iron is a natural high-nickel alloy so heating it will fuck up the crystal lattice of the metal.
>>43947120
>Or stick your dick in a dullahan?
Well actually...
>>43930620
First, the Iron Order is contacted, they send an inquisitor to verify the situation. If it is indeed a stronghold of the vile, inhuman fey, the inquisitor will send word back to the order, who then assess the strength and danger posed by the fort and begin to prepare what resources will be needed to eradicate it (knights, iron workers and their retinue, expendable laborers, raw iron, etc.). When everything is ready, an expedition force is sent to the fort and begins the arduous process of destroying it.
At dawn, the knights and inquisitors go in first and kill any fey living inside. Next, the temporary on-site foundry is set up, and the expendable laborers, who have had their eyes gouged out and their ears destroyed so that they can not fall prey to the fairies' glamour, are sent in to begin their work. Every single stone in the fort is broken into pieces, and all of the resulting rubble is cast in iron. Likewise, the bodies of any fey, as well as anything made of wood or bone, and any animal or plant found within the fort are thoroughly burned, and the resulting ashes are cast in iron. Once everything has been destroyed and sealed in iron, the area beneath the fort is dug up and the iron encased remains are buried deep underground. The ground is then salted, protective wards are cast, the site is marked as forbidden.
