I'll start, this happened to me today
>be me, lazy college kid who plays /tg/ and vidya and lurks on 4chan
>be eating lunch when some guy I kind of know waves me over to eat with him and his friend
>"sure, why not?" go to chill with them
>friend is in all black and a black tophat, should have taken the hint there
>we chat for a bit about our Thanksgivings and vidya, things are going fine
>Hat Guy (will abbreviate to HG) suddenly brings up a pic he'd been looking for on his phone the whole time and says "this is the faceclaim for that character I was telling you about BTW" and shows it to the other guy, it's some redhead Generic McWaifubait swordswoman
>HG notices that I checked the pic too and decides to describe his current campaign, both of them are giggling like schoolgirls
>he says it's a text only online DnD 5e campaign set in his DM's borderline Darksouls meets AoT fanfiction setting where everything is shit and hopeless and monsters are stupidly powerful rapid regen/nearly immortal undead while humans sit inside a big wall generally crying and feeling bad for themselves
>Says this all like it is a good thing
>important note, claimed it was a "low magic" setting, said that his DM's definition of "low magic" basically amounted to "an artificer at max level on a nat 20 roll to make a magic item *might* be able to make a +1 sword"
>again, said this like a good thing.
>anyway, first story about the campaign was about his DM yelling at him for not actually naming his character, who he gave a literal 16 page backstory to that all amounted to "she was a slave and stripper for a long fucking time and just stopped being a slave 26 minutes before the campaign started"
>tells me he is triple classing into artificer, rogue, and bard. in the low magic setting.
>justifies it with "i want to play something really weak, to fit my backstory!"
>literally brags about his character being useless to the party
To be continued in a bit
>>43910738
part 2
>says that his character is some homebrewed hideous monster race, when I asked how she was a stripper if she looked like that he answered with "she casts disguise self constantly"
>in the low magic setting
>finally gets to how the campaign started
>26 minutes after she stopped being a slave, Speshul Sno'flake McWaifubait goes and makes a huge heroic speech about how humanity should unite and not lose hope and chastises everyone for being generic personality-less grimdark depressed bastards
>a trait which the guy OOC said he saw as a "great addition to the setting".
>nobody joins of course, except the other two party members who are both prettyboys who immediately both fall in love with her
>which the guy greatly brags about
>basically decide to try completely changing the subject, this autism is too bad even for me
>decide to instead discuss funny expy characters, like the traditional Micheal Jackson bard/necromancer or an all-cleric party that's the Ghostbusters
>eventually get onto the subject of a Tyler Durden fighter, he adamantly claims it would have to be lawful evil.
>I get that there are plenty of flaws with the alignment system, but that shit's too far, I ask how he can see a character whose primary goal literally is "cause anarchy and chaos" as "lawful".
>He brings up on his phone a massive pre-written essay about his views on "lawful evil", which basically boil down to "all lawful evil characters ever are truly righteous but misunderstood antiheroes who are the real heroes of every setting" and goes on to say how "he identifies himself as lawful evil"
>the autism is beginning to induce a minor aneurysm at this point
next post will be last
>>43910753
part 3
>try to point out that alignments are subjective and their exact definitions change depending on your DM or setting, he basically says that any setting that doesn't use his ideas is fundamentally flawed
>he also claims that there is no such thing as evil characters and no such thing as people who think they aren't totally justified and righteous
>basically thinks every single person on earth and in all fictional settings view themselves as morally perfect and good individuals, and only other people can disagree with your actions
>goes on to explain how he views "evil" in the alignment system as meaning "follows their own code of ethics and individuality" and "good" as "follows what the majority agrees with", instead of that being the "law/chaos" distinction
/tg/, why do people like this exist?
>>43910764
Because people like you don't strangle them to death when you hear this bullshit.
Because no one shuns the village idiot anymore anon.
>>43910764
>no such thing as people who think they aren't totally justified and righteous
>basically thinks every single person on earth and in all fictional settings view themselves as morally perfect and good individuals, and only other people can disagree with your actions
>>43910738
>be me
Phew! I was worried you weren't you for a second there!
Anyway, why didn't you strangle this faggot on sight?
>>43910804
>>43910875
It was tempting, but I'm almost done with the semester and just want to get this shit over with and go chill at my home playing FO4 for a while.
>>43910753
>eventually get onto the subject of a Tyler Durden fighter, he adamantly claims it would have to be lawful evil.
I kind of agree. But not for the awful shitty reason he said.
Tyler Durden creates an ordered and strict cult, basically, for the end goal of creating chaos. It would really depend on whether you would judge the lawful/chaos divide on in group laws, or the laws of the greater society.
But the rest of that was fucking awful. Glad I've already graduated college.
>>43910753
>"he identifies himself as lawful evil"
>>43911897
best part is how he identifies as "lawful evil" and then later said "but nobody sees themself as evil"
>>43911897
"I sexually identify as Lawful Evil."
>>43911965
But remember how he also said being evil in the alignment system means someone:
>"follows their own code of ethics and individuality" and "good" as "follows what the majority agrees with"
So I don't think he meant he sees himself as "evil" based on the common conception of the term (and actually argues that nobody is evil in that context). But he sees himself as "evil" in his own context, which in this case translates to "edgy iconoclast"
>>43912126
OP here, forgot to mention that he also specifically stated that "Lawful evil" was "the true and absolute good" in his own words.
also that he claimed to be "an expert on Fight Club"
fun fact I have learned in my life, nobody who claims to be "an expert on fight club" is usually worth talking to. ever.
>>43912207
>he also specifically stated that "Lawful evil" was "the true and absolute good" in his own words.
what. how the fuck does "evil=good" make sense. for fuck's sake I hate edgy bullshit like this
>invited to dine with my roommate and his friends
>roomate annoys the fuck out of me but I want to keep a good relationship with him so I agree
>one of the friends is an actual redditor, and is very proud of that fact
>he says that he wants to get a tabletop group together but needs a DM
>Perhaps unwisely say that I could DM Call of Cthulhu
>"I've read about that and I don't want to play a game about fighting one big guy"
>never speak to him again
>>43912263for you
>Creating homebrew setting
>Populating it with races, nations
>Looking good so far
>That Guy suggests an Empire with air superiority
>In a setting where steam isn't even discovered yet
>No airships but suddenly this Empire out of nowhere has airships
>It's a huge stretch but it can be d-
>"And this is their flag. Death from above and stuff"
>pic related
>Who invited this guy?
>>43912528
>air superiority
>in a pre-steam setting
make him have to deal with his faggy 'airship' captains instead being dirty peasants in hot air balloons who get fucked by any place that has invented ranged weaponry.
>>43910753
>>43910764
>>43912263
so, he had an edgy messiah complex?
>>43912528
>airships
>pre-steam
So what, he wanted hot air balloons? Giant hang-gliders?
I always really liked a dark souls style setting and actually wanted to make it happen in a few months, might have to think that over
>>43910738
The first DM I ever had springs to mind. Never. Again. Because of that shithole I can't even mention "Everard's Black Tentacles" without the entire group shuddering, which is a shame because its a damn useful spell.
>>43914417
>Because of that shithole I can't even mention "Everard's Black Tentacles" without the entire group shuddering, which is a shame because its a damn useful spell.
You can't just say something like this and NOT storytime, Anon...
>>43914477
What's to tell? Magical realm shenanigans ensued. But if you insist...
>Be naive little 15 year old me
>Get invited to join an online 3.5e group
>Literally my first RP experience
>Super stoked, but also nervous as fuck due to anxiety issues.
>Everyoen seems pretty friendly.
>Party consists of Me (Drow Elf Rogue), My Friend who invited me (Troll Barbarian), Almost-Lovable-Pervert (Human Sorceress), Quiet Dude (Human Rogue) and Swedish Guy (Whose character escapes me at the moment sicne he plays them all the same.)
>Oh, and there's the DM's Kitsune Bard DMPC. No alarm bells due to noobness.
> First thing he does is have said DMPC get kidnapped.
>Okay, standard D.I.D, no biggy.
>The group follows the clues (by which I mean we make one survival check) and finds said DMPC at the mouth of a cave.
> "She is chained between two Otyughs, completely naked."
>I look through the monster manual and see pic related.
>Oh god what.
>I decide to take a potshot at them, see what happens.
>Miss by a couple points. No biggie, right?
>"Roll to see if you hit [DMPC]!"
>Wait that's not how the rules-
>"Roll it!"
>o-okay...
>Shit, I crit the hostage.
>DMPC is now bleeding out.
>I can't see the guy sicne we were using skype at the time, but I can practically hear the shit-eating grin.
>"The otyughs awaken and begin to rape her."
>Nigga WHAT?
>Gauging by how the rest of the group reacted, this was not an uncommon event.
>Fight ensues between us and the monsters.
>Actually pretty legit, since we have to make sure the two bastards don't run too far away from one another else the chains will start to pull the DMPC apart.
>Finally take them down and save the girl.
>She's completely unreponsive. joy.
>We take her back to the inn to rest up.
>I figured that this was jsut a one-off hazing ritual or soemthing.
>I was wrong.
>So wrong.
>>43914730
moar
>>43914730
>literally my first RP experience
I feel so sorry for you. Please tell me that since then you have had a non-shit group at least once.
>>43914730
>DMPC recovers shockingly quickly for someone traumatised five hours ago.
>DM himself sends me a private message.
>He suggests that I, as a Drow and therefore Totally-evil McBitchface, should take his DMPC as a slave and sell her back to the party.
>At level 2-3ish.
>Decide to take his advice since I am feeling way out of my depth here and, hey, any port in the anxiety storm.
>So, here I am, a Drow holding the DMPC nobody liked hostage.
>In front of them.
>In an inn.
>Basically everyone's characters want to kill me.
>I'm only saved becasue the Pervert's Sorceress (I should probably mention he constantly described her massive, and I mean MASSIVE chest, to give you an idea what this guy was like) decided to pay the ransom.
>Kaching, I guess.
>At least, until Quiet guy mugged me later. But I can't blame him for that.
>Anyway, the DMPC starts refering to Pervert's Sorceress as "Master"
>Starting to get a little weirded out, but hey; I got my gold, who the heck cares, right?
>A little later in the "campaign" (the term being about as accurate as a blind monk with a faulty ballista since we just kinda milled about and did the occasional dungeon.) Said DMPC disappears again.
>This appears to be the DM's default plot hook.
>Whatever, lets find her.
>Turns out she got caught stealing and is now in the stocks.
>Being raped by the guards.
>I'm starting to regret being an evil character now. If I'd played a paladin this'd have been over in seconds.
>Anyway, Pervert's Sorceress starts freaking out about how horrible this is.
>Pervert himself doesn't seem to be putting a lot of effort into it.
>In the end, I offer to bribe the guards in return for Sorceress' temporary servitude.
>I-It's not like I'm doing it to be nice or anything. B-Baka.
>Sorceress agrees, and the DMPC is freed.
>She then starts refering to my Elf as "Master" as well.
>This would be fine if the DM wasn't so creepy about it.
>>43915121
it just keeps getting worse jesus
>>43910738
>never want to play a game with.
Listen to your gut when your gut says no, guys.
>Player asks if their friend can join the DH game.
>Say yes, one extra person can't hurt anything.
>At the time, it would be different players at the table every session.
>Characters are usually not mentioned as leaving or joining the party, due to the frequency. Nobody has had a problem with it so far.
>Next session sees only 2 people show up.
>It's a noncombat mission, so it'll be fine.
>Assassin and tech-priest doing some legwork for a gang for help down the road.
>All they need to do is tell a servant that somebody wants to talk to them.
>Players walk to the estate.
>They begin discussing plans to kick down the door.
>Old guy decides today is a bad day for this, wants to put it off.
>New guy walks up to the front door and rings the door bell.
>Butler answers, new guy says he has a meeting with the head of estate.
>Butler says he's going to confirm the appointment, since he hasn't heard of it.
>New waits for the door to close, begins sneaking around back.
>Mention there are two servants trimming the hedges.
>He walks by them, the servants fail easy perception rolls.
>New guy gets to the back yard. Nobody notices him yet.
>Decides to go back to the front door, walks past servants again.
>Servant girl notices him, tells him he shouldn't be back here.
>He talks her into letting him walk out.
>When she turns her back to work on the hedge, he tries to stab her.
>Fails, she screams for help.
>New guy tries to grab her.
>Rolls poorly again, she makes a run for it.
>Old guy has to go, call the session there.
New guy quit, but why would you let people know you're there, try to sneak in, and then try to kill somebody when they find out you're there? On the plus side, the other players enjoyed the hostage rescue mission that resulted from this.
>>43915117
There is a happy ending, don't worry. A non sexual one to boot.
>>43915121
>I'm talking full on post-ahegao levels of hentai servitude here.
>Its really starting to freak me out, but I'm far too nervous to tell the DM to stop.
>As far as I know, this is normal RP procedure.
>Still, I pull up my bootstraps and try to roleplay as best I can.
>After some more milling about, we get wind of yet another dungeon to explore.
>The moment we enter, I knew it was a horrible, horrible mistake.
>Tentacles.
>Tentacles EVERYWHERE.
>Tentacle spell traps.
>Every conceivable Monster that had a tentacle based attack.
>You name it, it was betentacled.
>And, most importantly, so were we.
>And by we, I mean my elf, Pervert's Sorceress and the DMPC since the others were smart enough to play males.
>Literally an entire dungeon of nothing but tentacle rape.
>Looking back, it might have been a weird formative experience. Which is fuckign horrifying to think about.
>This, however, would not be the end.
>>43914730
>>43915121
>>43915270
>>43910764
Kill his character and watch him go full retard
it will be glorious
>>43915270
>>This, however, would not be the end.
>>43915270
>So, after a long drawn out fungeon run, we finally make it out of there.
>With pretty meagre loot, I might add.
>At this point its probably best I mention that my elf was a couple of levels behind the others since I joined the party late.
>This hadn't intially been a problem, but as levels were stacking up I was fallign behind quite badly.
>That's when the DM offered to put me throguh a solo dungeon.
>And like an idiot I accepted.
>Protip; DO NOT DO THIS.
>What followed was a gruelling experience even Hercules would look at and go "Holy shit, dude."
> The second encounter was twelve dwarves.
>Twelve. Dwarves.
> Vs one Elfish Rogue.
>It ended how you'd expect it to.
>Or it would have, if they hadn't spared me.
>At this point, the pieces in my mind finally started to coalesce as I realised exactly what was about to befall my rogue.
>This was, thankfully, the only time he decided to fade to black.
>The reason he faded to black, however...
>In order to level me up without puttign me too out of sync with the party or some such bullshit, he had randomly decided that this dungeon was alittle out of sync with regular temporal physics.
>Read; a day outsdie was several decades inside.
>You can probably see where this is going.
>And yes, there were bastard, half-breed children.
>He calculated them.
>So, by the end of it, my Drow had aged a few decades, now had a family of half-dwarvish children being locked in a temporally unstable rape factory and only managed to crawl out due to inevitable DM fiat.
>this is, by far, the single most horrible thing that has ever happened to a character of mine.
>It is not, however, the most horrible thing that DM put me through.
>>43915451
You think I would actually play with this guy? shit no. I just talked with him, and I hated even doing that much.
>>43915480
This DM is a Bastard from Moonguard.
>>43915480
Fucking dammit, where's that paladin who saved the drow woman when you need him?
Anyone who has used the term waac or anything similar to it and any other condescending elitist shit stain who thinks they can be passive aggressive dick holes about being a "better" gamer than you because they are shit at games but their poorly optimized shit stain army falls within their narrow definition of "fluffy" and yours doesn't because you beat them and they're bitter and are also are final arbiter on any given games lore.
So a decent amount of wargamers are pretty much of limits.
>>43915480
>>43910889
>he bought Fallout 4
Todd claims another victim.
>>43915480
>It is not, however, the most horrible thing that DM put me through.
>>43915711
I don't even own it, too poor. I just mooch off of my dad's steam since he's super into vidya. I got over a day and a half of playtime just over thanksgiving weekend.
>>43915480
>Its at around about this point that I start reading through the DM's manual.
>Having experienced untold horrors at the hands of this DM, I decide that maybe I should give running a dungeon a shot.
>the DM asks if I wouldn't mind him Co-DMing.
>I should have said no.
>I should have told him to fuck off.
>But god dammit, I wanted to learn to do things right.
>And he was the only available mentor.
>So, i reluctantly agreed.
>I planned out a fairly simple dungeon with an undead troll as the boss.
>At first, most of the suggestions made by the DM seemed tame.
>The only thing that started ringing bells was his insistence on trapping places with the spell "Evard's Black Tentacles."
>Me being a fairly naive youth, saw only grapple checks and damage.
>What he saw was realm so magical the atoms themselves would give you a +4 to hit.
>Eventually, the time comes for me to put the party through my first ever gauntlet.
>Things go pretty smoothly, even with his DMPC hanging around and going full Kuroinu with regards to Pervert's Sorceress.
>And then they tripped a tentacle trap.
>And by they, I of course mean the DMPC.
>I immediately start to look up the damage for it.
>But then my private chat starts beeping.
>Its the DM.
>And he's giving me suggestions.
>Horrible, horrible suggestions.
>The kind that make Slaanesh blush.
>He literally wants me to rolepaly tentacle raping his DMPC.
>In front of the entire party.
>Let me tell you now, brothers; Fear is the greatest motivation known to man.
> And no fear is stronger than that of a timid little fifteen year old who jsut wants to have friends.
>So...
>I submit.
>I rape his character.
>Explicitly.
>I will never forget that giggle of his.
>That horrible, firghtening, maniacal giggle.
>I feel filthy jsut remembering it.
>The rest of the dungeon goes smoothly. No more incidents.
>>43913940
Zeppelins.
Because that totally doesn't sound like a disaster waiting to happen.
Let me get one off my chest
>Group designed DM is an EXTREMELY, EXTREMELY autistic manchildren, whose bullshit is so articulated I don't even know where to start to describe
>two weeks ago he gets mad for some bullshit with a girl that friendzoned him years ago out of pity (but he still think he have some chance) and disappears from the radar
>after some day withou seeing him, we agree to start a fantasy campaign (he doesn't like it because "magic is stupid" and then proceeds proposing stuff like He-man or TMNT rpgs)
>I come up with a homebrew system from scratch
>other friend, appointed new potential DM, comes up with pages of a campaign material
>we even do playtests
>everyone smiles and is relaxed
>no feeling of walking on eggs when talking
>meet him the other day
>I'm already not used anymore to his autism magnitude
>he starts spitting his usual bullshit as soon he hears about our progress
>feel bad, uneasy, like being with a mentally retarded kid
>an arrogant mentally retarded kid full of himself
deep inside, I want to tell him fuck off so badly holy shit. the only thing that stops me is the knowledge he doesn't have anyone else that manages to bear with his stupidity, and ending up alone would mean becoming a vegetable or anheroing himself
>>43915769
do it, it's better to let people like that die of lest they somehow manage to have kids.
>>43915751
shit man. this is some fucked up shit right here.
>>43915751
>>43915480
What in the goddamn fuckery
>>43915763
My point is you can't really have zeppelins if you haven't figured out steam power.
If you don't want to be completely at the mercy of the wind, then your airship needs either a complex set of rigging and sails or it needs some kind of engine. Ideally internal combustion because why the fuck would you put a giant coal furnace right next to a giant bag of helium.
>>43915751
As long as that shit was confined to text, goddamn what would've happened if that turbolard was allowed outside?
That would be so fucking horrifying
>>43915769
do it, stop him from continuing as he is before he tries to procreate.
If you tell him to fuck off and he has nobody, one of four things will happen
A: He will retract completely and hate the world, potentially go on an attempted killing spree, worst possibility
B: He will an hero, less than ideal but at least doesn't lead to anyone else's injury
C: He will find a new person to put up with his shit for a while until they abandon him too and he does one of these four options again, by far the most likely possibility
C: there is a slim chance he will learn to be a functioning fucking human being
>>43915901
>helium
Goddamnit I meant hydrogen. Helium's a lot safer.
>>43915751
>Thankfully, there was a light.
>And, strangely, it came from a near TPK experience.
>You see, the Undead troll I had decided to use turned out to be jsut a little too strong.
>As in it wiped the bloody floor with them all.
>Thinking fast so I don't end up being an asshole DM, I bring out he necromancer responsible for reanimating it.
>He gloats and monologues for a while.
>Long enough for the party to recover and kick his arse.
>He escapes, and thus a whole plot is born.
>And with this plot comes the unanimous agreement that I was a far mroe competant DM than the current one.
>After being stuck as a player for a few sessions, the DM tries to insert his realm again.
>None of us are havng it.
>And, with the reassurance of the entire group, I kick the bastard out.
>Pervert left soon after, for unrelated reasons.
>We later got a new player; another inexperienced nooblet.
>Te group is now Me (Almost Forever DM), My Friend, The Quiet Guy, The Swede and the Newbie.
>And that group has held strong throughout thick and thin ever since.
Thank you for reading, /tg/. It was terrible, but I almsot have to thank that DM. By showing me exactly what not to do, I've become a much better roleplayer and Dungeon Master.
>>43915964
I love happy endings/
>>43915751
Do you think I'm evil if I say that for me is pure genius making my fetishbound DMPC raped in front of my and all the party, the way I want, but not by me? and consider I'm aganist any form of ERP
>>43916018
Nah, it was a pretty impressive feat of manipulation, I'll give it that.
>>43915904
Last I heard, he'd broken up with an online girlfriend and was trying to hit on Nooblet. That was about a year ago, so I have no idea if the outside world beat him out of it yet.
>>43916018
we don't think you're evil dumbass we just think you're a magical realming bastard
>>43915964
Pretty good ending, man. Thanks for the read.
>>43916018
i am... still trying to read this. Getting a minor brain hemorrhage.
>>43915964
Isn't it ever awkward to remember that some of your players witnessed the tentacle rape you perpetrated through the GM's manipulation?
>>43916111
Uh, did I fuck up with grammar?
>>43915928
Didn't seem to occur to him. So he wanted not!Space Marines in steampunk power armor dropping from zeppelins in the sky when the rest of the friggin setting thought the trebuchet was an advanced piece of equipment.
>>43916145
I really hope you shut him down and told him that it'd be nonsense.
>>43916142
A little bit.
>>43916122
They all understand the circumstances. And we've all agreed to never mention the dude again if we can help it.
>>43916145
>steampunk power armor
fuck him. not like >>43915964 's DM did, just tell him to fuck himself on a chainsaw. Also, try >>43912592
>>43916145
Anyway, we just have him sit out the homebrew before he does anymore crazy shit. Turns out it didn't slow him one bit. He'd later introduce me to a sci-fi setting with by far the most Mary-Sue thing I'd ever read until I learned of Chakats.
>>43916193
Basically all the rape has been reconnected?
What became of the DMPC? did you make her into a character that isn't fucking awful or was she removed from existence?
>>43915964
This, this is nice
Good on you bro, hopefully that other dude got punched in the throat or something
>>43916202
story time?
>>43916221
I don't think "kitsune bard" can ever *not* be magical realm on some level.
>>43916202
>He'd later introduce me to a sci-fi setting with by far the most Mary-Sue thing I'd ever read until I learned of Chakats.
That's a bold fucking claim and you know it. You better have the details to back it up
>>43910738
>>be me,
You should have known this was a mistake.
>>43916221
Once the campagin I started with te necromancer ended, we did a time-skip and started a new campaign. Unfortunately, a lot of us started getting some serious schoolwork overload and had to quit temporarily. When we came back, we tried wholly knew settings.
We recently converted to 5e, so that whole ordeal is nothing more than a distant memory in another universe to us.
>>43915751
I don't have words
This is a pretty tame story but still my only experince of a honest to god Mary Sue
>A few people from college mention wanting to get in to Role Playing
>I mention I have played and suggest running a game of Dogs in The Vineyard since it is rules light
>its 4 of us, two guys and two girls
>We meet at my flat for a char gen session
>one of the chicks and the other guy get how to roll a char for the setting after I explain the kind of world it is
>but the other chick
>holy fuck
>She whips out a char who is not only the daughter of the mayor of the only city in the setting but he is also a master gun smith who has gifted her a masterfully made handgun and she is also a master of diplomacy from spending her youth around the most powerful people around.
>Yet for some reason she has decided to become a glorified postman
>We try to explain why this char won't work
>we spend LITERAL HOURS trying
>the two girls nearly come to blows over it
>eventually she gives in but by that point it is so late we can't even get started
I never did run a game for them. I kinda wish I could have seen the stupid shit she would have pulled
>>43910738
Okay, pt 1:
>OP
Cont;
>>43916324
The That Girl that never was.
>>43915769
Listen to
>>43915918
I know a guy who is permanently saddled with a "friend" That Guy.
The type of guy who spent $1000 on an Ultima Online castle and thought it was really great when he had all his teeth pulled out and got dentures in his early thirties.
This guy is a living troll 100% of the time.
He and my friend share a lot of interests, such as online gaming, and so they do occasionally have positive interactions.
But mostly the guy is just a master manipulator and malicious bastard that views my friend as his hetero-lifemate or something.
As a result, all his evil his only directed at keeping my friend close and less powerful in game than him, rather than ruining his life for entertainment.
This guy is about 2/3 to 3/4 as bad as Big Boy Blue, if such things can be estimated third hand.
Last I heard, my friend was doing a fair job at keeping him at arms length, facilitated by real life complications occupying both of their time.
Anon, cut the cord before it's so thick that by the time you're free, you've already been dragged under.
>>43916193
>A little bit
Sorry, today my english isn't alright.
>>43915614
Nigger, a wargame is about simulating a battle. Not your contrived "competitive" bullshit; that is just an exercise in exploiting some arbitrary rules. This creates all the irrelevant tactical nous of a spastic panda, and ultimately serves just to wank your limp dick over the thought of "winning".
Must be a 40kid.
>>43916324
>dogs are glorified postmen
I mean
not really
>>43916541
depends what kind of world you have
>>43916246
Not really a story, but I can give a basic rundown.
>Guy just got into 40k. Like a week ago. And he was REALLY getting into it.
>Also into weebs like DBZ and Naruto
That is I'm guessing the influence for his new setting and the "Invincible Legions" or whatever the fuck he called them. It's basically an HFY wet dream. But even that is tame.
>Didn't like a setting where humanity was on the ropes so he remade his own god damn setting that took the Space Marine concept and added injected them with a cocktail of Mary-Sue, steroids, and undiluted cocaine.
>Basically superhumans created by humanity whose genetic make up is 100x more complex
>Can regenerate getting a hole blown in their chest
>Resistant to disease, poison, the vacuum of space because of (I lost track, he had an explanation for everything from different cellular make up, to redundant organs)
>Mass produced in Bio-factories that could make a thousand every day
>Complex genetics meant there would be differences that come in later development or something I forget that too.
Basically his supersoldier faction was divided into 5 'classes'
>First were strong enough to lift large munitions like howitzers on their back, and fire them while on the back of said superhuman soldiers
>Each one had a cannon/jetpack so they could move around the battlefield dropping ordinance.
>Basically Baby's First Crisis Suit
>Second were geniuses
>Or walking computers or some shit. They are born without eyes, but that's okay, they can 'see' computer code
>They have entire fleets of ships that are just automated drones piloted by one of these navigators
>Also psychic.
>Third were magical realm holy fuck
>They're strength is maximum. Like rip through tank armor with their bare hands
>They're totally feral so they're just a pack of wild animals running on hands and feet
>Rape the fuck out of everything literally and figuratively.
>It's okay though, they're sterile
>mfw
>>43916399
>cut the cord before it's so thick
I'm too old and I've seen too much shit already to being dragged anywhere by that poor autist, what I'm worried about is the other friends. one is far too kind and the other is childhood buddy
both are exploted regularly out of pity for free food, internet, and money
money because since he's unemployed and spends all his money in bullshit, he can't even buy himself a fucking coke when we go out.
I'm confident they will be able to draw a line at some point, but you never know
>>43916573
fair enough
also, now that I think about it, since the rulebook mentions that Dogs DO carry mail, even in the default they're glorified postmen. Just really, really, really glorified.
I jumped the gun. My bad.
>>43916597
>>43916597
>>43916603
It's actually the thing I like about the setting that it can be full "DEAMONS R REAL AND COMING FOR YOUR BUTT!" or completely reality based. If I had ever got a chance to run that game it would have been ambiguous as to how real that stuff was.
Also, I am surprised I have never seen anyone with a "That Guy" story about Exalted. I would of thought it would attract the Naurto-shitters like nobodies business
>>43916597
>HFY taken to a logical extreme
>>43916597
>>43912528
>>That Guy suggests an Empire with air superiority
>>In a setting where steam isn't even discovered yet
So Final Fantasy 2?Also you can't even boil water without discovering steam.
>>43916597
>4th class just some generic mix of the first 3
>But they have some giant ass gun that can shift into anything
>Flamethrower/welder/shotgun/sniper etc.
>Most numerous
>fifth was a land variant of the space geniuses that commanded walkers that made the Ad Mech Titans look like baby toys
>Mention the Mechanicus titans.
>Apparently he didn't know those existed yet
>I can practically see the gears turning in his head.
>Oh god what have I done.jpg
>This faction of superhumanoids conquer like half the universe(his exact words)
>Normal humans discover some faster means of warp travel, but it's very unreliable as it can TAKE YOU TO OTHER UNIVERSES
>And that is why his army of Mary Sues can exist in any setting, reverting to their default duty of conquer and subjugate everything they see.
I felt ready to tell him why all this was bullshit but it was highschool, we were in homeroom, and I already had a reputation with the teacher as being a problem(kept bringing my models to class because I finish my work early but apparently that's not allowed for reasons)I quietly gave him his shit back, said I had to be somewhere and left.
Never saw him after high school. 8 years now and no word, I'd like to keep it that way.
>>43916820
Let me rephrase then
>Steampower
>>43916820
Knowing steam is a thing and knowing how to harness it in machines are two very different things
>playing gurps with a guy i met at college as gm
>he insists that EVERY piece of equipment you use has to be statted out as an advantage
>for example, if you use an assault rifle, you have to work out and buy an innate attack that costs hundreds of character points
>if you don't have the points, you can't use the equipment
>after he tries to force me to stat out a car as a highly altered form of the "enhanced move" advantage, i remind him that this isn't how the game is supposed to work at all
>he flips out and basically says "i'm the gm, you have to do what i tell you to"
>try to explain that he's completely butchering the system and turning the game into something unplayable
>he asks me to leave
I'm kind of glad it happened because it's helped me tolerate every frustrating tabletop experience since then, by virtue of knowing that things could always be far, far worse.
>>43916826
somewhere out there, you know he is still trying to make this a thing.
>>43916597
>>43910738
In college I got into a group of college professors playing dnd. It was cool because hey I was 19 at the time and they weren't my professors. These guys were 50s, 60s years old so I did feel a massive generational gap but it started off innocently. Then the booze and weed came out and it got a little weird. Its one thing to get drunk and high with friends and peers, its another to see men 30 and 40 years older than you get absolutely ripped. And it got real weird, like everyone's teeth were bared the entire time, everyone was slapping each other on the backs and chests, slapping the table as hard as they can, and generally being bipolar the whole time. Totally weirded me out and made several excuses not to go before completely excusing myself out of their game.
>>43916992
Sounds like you missed out on some mad old man dick.
>>43916960
How long ago was this? I remember some anon sperging out in a general thread a while back about trying to do the same thing for poorly explained reasons.
>>43915480
Okay so that's a terrible thing to do to a new player without consent, but it's actually kind of cool.
>>43917052
>turning PC into lifetime rape slave for a horde of horny dwarves in a hyperbolic time chamber
>"kind of cool"
>>43917052
ANON NO
THAT IS LITERALLY WORSE THAN HITLER
STOP
>>43917052
>>43917052
>>43917176
thank mr skeltal
>>43917052
EXPLAIN
EEEEXXXXPLAAAAAAAAIN
>>43917052
That's disgusting Anon. Are you going to suggest he should have had themholding handstoo?
>>43917087
>>43917227
What, an outside of time dungeon where you have kids that thereafter can be part of the campaign? How is that not cool?
>>43917276
>How is getting raped in unknowable ways for years only barely managing to escape with your kids to keep them from becoming breeding sows not cool?
>>43917276
Oh. Well, I mean having kids of a PC in a campaign is all right with me. I mean, that's Fire Emblem stuff. Even the time warping.
See, the thing is when it comes about via dwarf gang-rape time dungeons, I don't know if I'm cool with that at all
>>43916708
I think the reason you don't see That Guy stories about Exalted is because the entire thing is such a That Guy attraction that you have entire parties made up of That Guy, so nobody sees anything out of the ordinary to report.
Whenever these threads roll around, I'm always disappointed in myself for not having a That Guy story.
My roleplaying group is just me and some friends from writing and theatre programs that just came together one day and learned as in unison. We're pretty insular so I'm a bit worried about the group breaking apart as time drags people away and we aren't able to find new players, but I don't have any stories so horrible to tell or so surprising they're worth sharing.
One of these days I'm just going to go down to a FLGS and look for the biggest red flag I can.
>>43917593
Hey! I have word from a reliable source that someone in my town at some point managed to run a game of Exalted without it being a party of That Guys/Girls. It was even decent from what I was told.
>>43917593
It's also not a super common game. Not enough for Naruto-shitters at least. Not that your point is wrong, to some extent complaining about an outrageous mary sue in Exalted would be complaining about a little girl in Magical Burst.
>>43917593
>>43917692
Yeah, I suppose so. I do tend to think of That Guys as being more Magical realmy and being Demi-gods in a world of normal people seems like the kind of shit that would get abused out of the ass.
Hell, they have a whole type of Exalted that are basically Chaotic Evil
>>43917765
The same factors apply. By the time someone hears of and plays Exalted, they're usually no longer total idiots about the insertion of the fetish, and Exalted provides some acceptable outlet for that.
>>43912528
>astartes icon
[Autismo powers ACTIVATE!]
Pretty sure that's IG insignia, steambro.
Mors Ab Alto!
>Guy brings a character sheet to me
>it's clearly GITP optimized
>has a "trapped spellbook"
>look into it more
>it's a rock with braille on it with a repeating magic trap that casts "heal" whenever the "book" is used.
>ask him what the fuck
>he shows me all the rulebooks and wordings that say he can do it
>calls me a shit GM when I tell him he can't play this and that even though it's RAW legal it's so far out there and so much bullshit that no sane person would ever allow it
God damn I hate pugging for games.
So this happened a few weeks ago, things patched up now and the guy introduced a new character so all's good
>charged by dictator to slay local dragon so populace is safe
>so he can exploit them for money again
>agree because we could use the opportunity to assassinate dictator
>given armed escort to dragon's lair
>escorts were mercenaries
>described as "thoroughly uninterested and definitely underpaid"
>basically dragon fodder so the party can get in the first few blows
>One of the Paladins hatches a plan to escape the escort because he "doesn't like being told what to do"
>Day ends, the mercs start setting up camp for us and giving us food
>one of the party wanders off to hunt by themselves, mercs don't bother stopping them
>One of the Paladins talks to them, tries to find out which one is the leader
>They don't really have a leader, so they just point to the biggest guy
>big, dopey potato faced man
>Paladin walks up to him
>"We won't be requiring your services anymore"
>dopey guy shrugs and turns around to go back to the camp for food
>Paladin slits his throat while his back is turned
>mercs freak out, half try to run half try to attack the Paladin
>Paladin chases down those retreating, slaughters them
>Paladin slaughters the rest of the mercs and burns horses to death to get one of them hiding under a cart
>party watches in horror
>The Assassin manages to subdue 2 that the Paladin was going to kill
>Assassin later tries to patch the subdued up, try and salvage as much as he can
>sees the Paladin slitting the throat of the unconscious men
>Assassin loses his shit and attacks the Paladin
>Other Paladin comes in after a while to break up the fight, cuts one of his fingers off to repent for the other Paladin, since he insists he did nothing wrong
>everyone's face when
>>43918299
You've told this story before.
>>43918299
> Assassin saving someone
> Paladin brutally murdering everyone
your campaign is all sorts of wrong
Had a callout for players to come join a level 1 new players game, about seven people showed up. One of the players didnt have a character so the others would help him make one. He just sorta spent the session eating the snacks and then left. Never saw him again.
>>43918365
You're telling me.
The Assassin was actually hired a long tine ago by the Paladin that broke up the fight, and he's been trying to "fix" him ever since. The Paladin's been a good influence on the Assassin, while the Assassin's been a terrible influence on the PaladinThey've got a major yin-yang bromance going on
>>43916963
I'd love to see such a setting/wargame/RPG posted on kickstarter
>>43918299
Jesus fucking christ why would you let anyone play a paladin if they're that fucking retarded
>>43912004
lol'd hard
>>43916826
Heard you were talking shit, Steven.Just kidding. Jesus Christ, how horrifying. . . .
