>be VIII Legion astartes
>happily doing the Emperor's dirty work in the Crusade
>suddenly this spooky faggot shows up
>switches off the lights from all of our ships
>call himself Night Haunter
>wtf
>all the new guys are rapey murderkids
>forced to listen to pseudophilosophical bullshit all day
>except we can't say "day" anymore
>it's all night night night all night
>suddenly we are traitors too
>well great.jpg
>Ave Dominus Nox
>be Iron Hand
>my primarch got killed
>become irrelevant for the rest HH
>>43906131
Konrad "Nothing Personnel" Curze
>>43906131
Pretty sure all old astartes were pretty pissed when their primarchs showed up. We are no longer Dusk Raiders, we are motherfucking Death Guard now! Why? Becouse fuck you, that's why!
>>43906131
>be second legion
>were doing our thing crusading and stuff
>dad fucks up
>now I'm a smurf
>baka tbqh senpai
>>43906649
>>become irrelevant for the rest HH
>become irrelevant for the rest of all the time
>>43906770
when did they become white scars?
>>43906717
Except the one's without names back then I'm sure
oh and the ones that we're almost wiped out by genetic stuff
>>43906840
White Scars at least fought at Terra.
>>43906131
> Be Luna Wolf on crusade
> Shit's going well
> Horus becomes Warmaster
> Pride.pictlog
> Horus turns on emperor, go with because loyal af
> Horus gets blammed over Terra
> Shit.
> Run off to Eye of Terror
> Edgy faggot Abbadon makes us paint our armour black
> Spend the next 10,000 years failing to march on Terra
> Fuck my life.
>>43906131
>Undergo screening process to determine who is in top 1/1000 of Terran Humanity
>Survive brutal training regime to become astartes
>Crusading around the Galaxy
>Bringing civilization to broken worlds
>Booting off aliens slave masters from fallen human worlds
>Making something great
>Find this crappy world with an elliptical orbit
>Has a human population, if a bit primitive, so it needs to be brought back into the fold.
>Find this obviously mutant warlord who is WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYY to attracted to his pet dogs
>A few weeks later we are under his command because his dad's the Emperor or some such bullshit.
>Old High Marshal Fafnir, veteran of 150 years of successful crusade organizing, looses his job because of Nepotism.
>Furry Overlord in charge and its Wolf wolf wolfin wolfy wolfen wolf yiff yiffity yiff all day every day.
>And that rigorous screening and training thing? That's gone now.
>Now all his dog fucker friends are in the Legion.
>Fafnir, myself, and some of the old guard are going to get a petition going to form our own mini-Legion.
>>43906649
He was a dick anyway
>>43906131
>be IV Legion astartes
>happily fighting alongside the Imperial Army in the Crusade
>willingly take the dirty jobs and forego the glory in order to win the day
>suffer heavy casualties retaking a Forgeworld
>our Primarch is found
>awesome, we finally have our Primarch
>He's this autistic introvert
>First thing he says to us is that we're not good enough
>Disappointing we're not the foremost Legion
>Orders the Legion Decimated
>My name is drawn
>Nine of my brothers beat me to death
>>43906873except the wolfy wolf wolf thing didn't start until later in the game. Saint Abnett is still a reliable source on canon, isn't he?
>>43906941
He's no saint anymore, not after Matt Damon.
>>43906131
Would things be better for humanity if the Primarchs were never found? I mean, we know from later events that Chapters can function fine without Primarchs, so why not Legions? Legions wouldn't have to change their whole modus operandi partway through their crusades, and there'd still be plenty of geneseed, right?
>>43906955
I am confused. Explain.
>>43907007
Matt Damon killed Martin Luther King.
>>43906926
Who? I assume this is Black Library's patented retard-o-writing?
>Be Ork
>Live iz gud
>Be XIIth Legion
>Be elite super-human warriors with vastly superior intellect, training and tactics
>War Council demands we get stricter supervision due to incidents
>The Emperor says he found our Primarch
>Finally we'll get whipped into shape again!
>Turns out he's a complete goddamn madman
>Starts chopping us up when we go to greet him
>Insists we stick spikes in our brains to make us angrier for some reason
>Tactics and training are thrown out in favor of berserker charges
>Primarch decides we should go traitor because "the Emperor is a pussy"
>Instead of bombing the surface as planned, forces us to go down and slaughter our brothers with our own hands in an unnecessarily costly assault on fortified positions
>This act causes everyone to go nuts, including the one guy who could keep our Primarch from killing everything within sight
>Spend the next couple of months hunting Raven Guard using the brilliant tactic of RUN FAST IN A GIANT HORDE
>Entire Legion now consists of bloodthirsty lobotomized lunatics with no semblance of reason
>thanksAngron.jpg
>>43907117
Iron Warriors are the IVth Legion Astartes. And probably.
> be XVIII legionnaire
> happy burnin shit and being the only black dudes in the galaxy
> find our primarch
> all is good because ours is the best primarch
>>43907318
>only black dudes in the galaxy
No.
>>43907284
I'm pretty sure the decimation comes from one of the Forge World books, whichever has Iron Warriors in it. That's cause I don't remember reading about it before, but I may be wrong.
>>43907117
Forgeworld actually Perty was found by the Emperor and because his legion wasn't the best ordered a decimation.
>>43907660
And people say primarchs aren't autistic..
>>43907712
who are the dumb fucks who say that?
>>43907712
I have never heard anyone try to claim that.
>>43907712
You do know it's an actual thing the romans (for example) did, don't you? It's just GW stealing bits and pieces out of military history.
>>43907883
yea but the romans recruited ordinary humans space marines are a much more significant investment if he had done it with the recruits who were going to become marines maybe it would make more sense
>Be Argel Tal
>Be dead
>>43907883
>>43907981
Plus the process of decimation was largely done away with by the time of Marius, being the most severe punishment usually reserved for things like running from a battle.
Crassus was the last real case where decimation was enforced and he was hated by the men plus look what happened to him.
>>43908098
But he was a badass while alive, and that's what's important.
>>43907318
>Be Salamanders
>Be pretty chill dude
>Lose primarch in an ambush
>Get shit wrecked
>Almost run out of astartes
>Never get to do anything relevant ever again
>Forge dammit
>>43908098
>Be Kharn
>Find out Argel Tal is dead
>RAGE
>Lorgar tells me Erebus killed Argel Bro
>curbstomp
>>43907138
> Be Genestealer
> Rippin termies awww yisss
>>43906849
And then disappeared for 9,999 years.
>>43908323
>Be Iron Hands
>be black
>hate nigger marines
>for the glory of clan company /pol/
>>43908098
>>43908271
>>43908386
I need to stop coming in 30k threads, they always spoil the books I'm currently reading.I ain't mad though, Argel Tal is an idiot, plus he's almost certainly going to kill Aquillon, isn't he?
>>43907883
You are aware that historically it was done as punishment for severe crimes rather than all willy-nilly because they weren't perfect? And that decimation was eventually dropped entirely for being a dumb idea? Any way you swing it, wiping out ten percent of a fucking Legion (read: MORE FUCKING SPACE MARINES THAN AN ENTIRE MODERN CHAPTER'S WORTH) as a motivational tool is pretty goddamn fucked up and has absolutely zero historical precedent.
>>43906131
Well, I guess this is as good a place as any to ask what you guys thought of The Lord of the Night book.
>be I Legion
>the first and best legion, adaptable and awesome
>famous across the galaxy for our amazing parties and our ability to please women
>our Primarch is found
>autistic fucktard who has no idea what fun means
>leaves the best party people on his boring forest planet
>they try to have one small kegger and the whole place fucking gets shot to hell by the Lion when he spergs out
>now we gotta act all somber and serious before he fucks us up
>even after he fucking disappears we get slapped with how guilty we should feel if we try and bring out a party favor
>everyone calls us gay
>>43906855
>Be kid on a planet
>Father from New Australia, mother from New Gookland, disgusting mix of genes, permanent batman voice, shunned by society, get called Frankus the Fungus
>Big wolf looking bane guy comes along and says 'hey kid wanna kill infidels'
>Injected with chromosones, i am molded into his personal bodyguard
>Booming with pride for the first time
>He gets hurt while i'm off putting pb on my balls and feeding it to the dogs
>FUCKNOTAGAIN.servoskull
>He recovers while i'm crying over his body about my existential pain, more embarassing than Dorn
>Slowly realize he's gone nuts as i'm tasked with heresy
>Welp, in for a penny, i don't want to lose my few friends
>Get wrong date for invasion, show up just in time to find Horus dead
>Wearing pink bodysleeve, nuts slathered
>FUCKNOTAGAIN.sct
>3 years after the heresy, i'm starting to rethink the situation
>4 years after heresy, i've turned to drink and drug and whore to pacify my regret
>2562 years after the heresy, i'm starting to get fed up with being me
>2563 years after the heresy, i want to die
>2564 years after the heresy, woke up this morning with two dicks, i guess slaanesh wasn't joking when she said she wanted the tab to be paid
>???? years after heresy, i feel the warp overtaking me, it is NOT a good pain
>help
>6728 years (roughly) after the heresy
>I have become Slaanesh's glorious champion
>My title is Frankus the Filthy and i have been sent through time to fight the culture war long ago
>Should have paid Slaanesh, i think as i delve into a wormhole of astral suffering
>>43908423
>Be Broadside pilot
>Non-stop button pressing
>Never seen an enemy
>No idea what i'm shooting at
>>43906986
>there'd still be plenty of geneseed, right?
>>43908386
>Be Erebus
>Kharn wants a fight
>My arm is gone
>My spine hurts
>I wish I was at home manipulating Horus
>>43907524
Day of the Rope happened some time before the Golden Age, that's why Salamanders are the only black people, Emps had to recreate them.
>>43906717
>Be Luna Wolf
>This crazy gang leader from a horrible worthless planet takes over
>12/10 best decision ever
>All the other Legions are jelly
>Other Legions meet their daddies
>Still have daddy issues because my daddy is cooler
>>43906131
>>43906131
>Be XIII Legion Astartes
>Meet Primarch in a lovely place called Ultramar.
>Become Ultra as fuck, foremost of the Legions
>People hate us because they ain't us
>Retroactively people steal our Roman aesthetic because it's so sweet
>Be discussing tactics with Lord Guilliman
>He compliments me on my grasp of the finer points of mustering logistics
>Promotes me to captain
>Grants me a Villa on Calth
>Orders me to prepare the area for the great muster
>Booby trap glacier with a hole just large enough for a one-eyed T7 Monstrous Creature
>Take last ship out of Calth before the muster
>Word Bearers fall everyone dies
>10,000 years pass by unnoticed
>Alarm goes off
>Tell some smugglers about my villa
>LaughingAlpharius.jpg
>Be XXth Legion
>I have no face but I must fuck with you
>>43908386
>Be Kharn
>Be friend with Argel Tal
>Erebus kills bro, thinks you wouldn't pull through with becoming a Chaos Champion, even though killing for the Blood God is neat
>fuckingerebus.holojpeg
>STOP HITTING YOURSELF! STOP HITTING YOURSELF! STOP HITTING YOURSELF!
>Continue to do this for a few days
>Be kharn
>Angron fucked off to do daemon things
>Everybody wants me to run the legion now
>Coolshit.jpg
>Find a planet of faggots and decide to gatecrash their pride parade
>Everybody won't stop bitching about how cold it is
>thecoldneverbotherdmeanyway.gif
>Both sides call a cease fire
>Fuck that, I'll heat everybody up by burning down the shelters
>World eaters go mental, start fighting amongst themselves
>Legion falls apart
>Fuck my life
>>43908938
Oi! fuck you, Argel Tal is great.
>>43908938
Argel Tal is the best (new) marine in the whole HH series.
>recruited into the XV Legion
>had personal conversation(s) with the Emperor
>entire legion starts mutating all to shit
>brother mutates
>luckily, we find gene-dad, time to cure this shit
>dad cures us, everything is awesome
>start crusading in proper, conquering planets and recording as much shit in our libraries as possible
>suddenly called to planet Nikaea
>most powerful psyker in the galaxy presides over a trial administrated by the most powerful mortal psyker in the galaxy
>opening testimony by werewolf psyker about how psykers are evil and can't be trusted
>obviously evil dude huffing poisonous fumes the whole time also talks about how we're the ones that can't be trusted
>Emperor decides to ban librarians
>Russ tries to exterminate us for still using psykers
>furry faggot is actively using his own psykers to do so
>gene-dad refuses to help us, well fuck him, we'll do it ourselves
>shit, mutations start up again worse than before
>gene-dad teleports us to a region of space where the warp bleeds into reality
>fucks off into a tower, leaving us to mutate to death
>single-handedly orchestrate an effort to do something that neither Magnus nor the Emperor could do
>sorta succeed, sorta fail
>Magnus exiles me for not letting the Legion die
>spend the next ten-thousand years touring the galaxies libraries
>>43908098
the best decision ADB's made in his HH material to date
>>43906131
>be XIV Legion Astartes
>fighting at dusk because tradition and stuff
>doing the Great Crusade, and doing a good job
>That giant Reaper guy shows up and is our primarch
>ohwell.jpeg
>He changes our way of fighting, making us prepared for any battlefield
>He starts to use chemical weapons
>Listens to that one faggot that is now our first captain
>We traitors now
>And since we are traitors, there is nothing more to tell
>mfw no one remembers that we even existed and always answers with "literally who"
>mfw we are the most irrelevant Legion
>>43908938
>Not liking Argel Tal
>Is only reading First Heretic.
Gotta read Betrayer where its fulldemon mode.
>>43913382
RG, WS, and IH know that feeling.
>>43909274
underrated
>>43913382
Don't worry senpai, I'll show that faggot what for, in
O N E S H O T
O
N
E
S
H
O
T
>be 9th legion
>try figure out why we like blood
>today is the day we meet our Primarch
>this guy has wings
>they're real
>this is going to make people think the Emperor is a god more
>Primarch turns out to be a great guy and showed us the error of sucking blood
>scrape and lick blood from now on
>>43913538
>Puts his name on the nigh irreplaceable relic armor handed down through the ages and generations
Steve the Grey Knight Terminator is going to have a real ball with that one in 600 years.
>>43906873
Are you that motherfucker who started that argument two weeks ago about how the Executioners are secretly Space Wolves descendantsAs a wolf-bro, I really wish it was true, but there is too much evidence to contradict it. I'd like it to be so, but it just isn't.
>>43913701
It's probably a replaceable part.
>>43913756
>Chestplate of Terminator armor
>Replaceable part
Think again.
>>43909548
Catachan dumbass.
>>43913798
Right. For all we know every supreme grandmaster had their name on that spot of the armor.
>>43913885
I much prefer that Grey Knights don't actually have names, they're just called by their armor's name tag. It frustrates the daemons attempts to seduce them/in the grim darkness of the far future you don't matter/something or other in those veins.
>>43913934
I thought their names was either one of Saturn's moons, or a part of a daemon's name or daemonic lore.
> Be Thunder Warrior
> Conquering Terra for the Emprah
> Fuck yeah
> Kick all kinds of technobarbarian ass
> Finally victorious, parade around the planet
> Emprah invites us all to a big party
> Locks us in
> Betrayalmurderfucks all of us
> As I die, he mumbles something about "Astartes"
> fml
> Be brother of the XIV legion, Dusk Raiders
> Find out we have out primarch
> "Awesome, I hope he's cool"
> Get to meet him myself
> Super excited
> His room stinks like a septic tank
> Even with the multi-lung it sucks
> He spins his chair around to face me
> He's huffing some nasty assfumes from a tank labelled "Barbarus" along with every hazard icon the imperium has
> He picks something out of his armpit, looks at it, takes off his mask and eats it
> Holyshit.pictlog
> Fumes from mask flood across room towards me
> Cant fucking take it
> Turn and try to leave
> Door has sealed itself because biohazard general alert
> Pass out
> God damnit I wish I'd joined the Luna Wolves instead
>>43915954
> Wake up hours later
> Head fucking hurts
> Primarch is holding me up, talking to other legionaries
> The fumes from his mask has stripped the paint off my goddamn armour, except for the green on the pauldrons
> What the fuck is that paint made of?
> Primarch says something about a new colour scheme for the legion, likes the white and green look aparently
> Decides to call us all the "Death Guard"
> Drops me, sits down and puts his feet on my chest like I'm a footstool
> Gives a little speech about how he wants the legion organised
> All I can concentrate on is how eyewateringly horrible his feet smell
> He stops mid-sentence, leans over and picks a nasty chunk off his big toenail
> Flicks it across the room
> Ricochets off of wall and lands on my forehead
> Holy shit, it burns
> Pass out again
>>43916105
> Spend the next few weeks actively avoiding the primarch
> Too bad, aparently he likes me
> Get added to his bodyguard of 49 badasses
> Wouldnt be so bad if he let us use the filters on our terminator armour
> We arent actually barred from speaking, its just that talking near the primarch will cause our vocal chords to melt
> Makes us all use these faggy scythes
> How the fuck am I supposed to chop things with the blade facing that way?
> Wish I was still a Dusk Warrior, wish I could just use a power sword
> The other guys are way into this shit, have poison-chugging contests with Mortarion
> He always makes me try the shit first
> Tastes like the way an Ur-ghul sounds
> Always faint
> Mortarion thinks its fucking hilarious
> At least I dont have to be conscious for the rest of their retarded contest
>>43916258
> Be over the surface of some bumfuck world in the middle of nowhere
> Mortarion is using me as a footstool
> Again.
> He's not wearing his armour, aparently the seals all rusted into nothingness so its in maintenance
> The ships crew have welded the bridge doors shut to keep him out, so he hangs out on the observation deck most of the time
> He's grumbling about psykers being assholes
> Grumbles about Magnus most of all
> I kind of like Magnus, at least he doesnt corrode metal with his halitosis
> Mortarion realises that he forgot his dataslate
> Tells me to go get it from his room
> Thanktheemperor.heresy
> Crew run for cover as I get near, Mortarions foot stank clings to my armour with claws of iron
> Finally get to his room via decontamination block and triple-layered adamantine airlocks
> The lightglobes are encrusted with dead insects, leaving the whole room dark
> His fridge is open, bottles of highly pressurised sour milk lying around
> His laundry is everywhere, noone wants to remove it for decontamination because that would mean touching it
> Swear I can see some of the piles moving
> Ignore it, carefully step wherever the deck plates are visible
> Takes me half an hour to find the dataslate
> Its hidden underneath a pile of underwear with skidmarks like a drifting track
> Must be archeotech, its the only thing in the room that isnt ruined
> I can feel my skin peeling off my face
> Turn to get out of room
> Slip on something crunchy with a gooey centre
> Fall flat on my face
> Land on pile of toenail clippings, complete with rusted clippers
> Scream and roll off of them onto bottle of milk
> Bottle bursts, covers me in the shit
> Smell marginally better now
> Stare at ceiling and contemplate my life
> The cockroaches on the ceiling must be Custodes-grade to survive this room
> Had to go through decontamination shower eight times before the ships systems would let me go
> Mortarion bitches at me for taking so long with the dataslate
>>43916794
> By this point I'm putting in transfer requests daily
> Noone ever gets back to me
> We always get stuck with the toxic worlds to conquer
> Mortarion still wont let us use our air filters
> Beyond caring at this point
> Honestly kind of impressed that my body hasnt dissolved into soup inside my armour
> Mortarion has been hanging out with that edgy faggot Night Haunter way too much
> Have to listen to that emo fuck for days on end because I'm the primarchs footstool
> The shape of his heels has been worn into my breastplate
> Edgelord is reading poetry again
> Mortarion is picking his earwax and wiping it on my pauldron
> That green paint is the only part of my armour that isnt ruined
> Contemplate sneaking onto a Night Lords ship and defecting
> Cant decide if it is worse to be Mortarions favorite or a bat winged torturer
> Primarch kicks me, tells me to get him some pizza
> Tell him the ships cooks arent making pizza today
> He says he has one stashed in his fridge
> Get up, walk over to fridge
> Pizza box is soggy, hard to carry it over without it falling apart
> Mortarion takes it, opens the lid. Lid falls off in his hand and he tosses it away
> Pizza has fucking mushrooms on it
> Like, growing out of it
> Dead wasps line the box
> He picks up a piece, its as dessicated as a corn ship and comes free with a crunch
> Takes a bite, puff of dust comes up where his black and yellow teeth touch it
> Asks if I want some
> Say no, return to my position as footstool
> "Ha! You're such a kidder anon!"
> Shoves a slice between my gorget and head
> Toxin alarms on armour switch into overdrive
> I go deaf in my left ear
> Pass out
> Dream of blissful death
>>43906873
Wolf wolf WOLF wolf legion (pack)
>>43915954
>>43916105
>>43916258
>>43916794
>>43917245
Does anyone want any more?
>>43918018
Can you do missin legions
>>43918018
This seems to be the happiest I've seen of mortarion
>>43918112
No, probably not given that they have literally nothing to work with beyond "EXTRA SECULAR HISTORY CENSORED"
>>43918312
Not super cannon, but its more fun to write about that grimspaceman #37098
>>43914006
Upon arrival to Titan the recruits are mind-scrubbed of their past life and their names and are given numbers as names until they pass the trails and are inducted into the order, at which point the name they are given is the inverse of a particular daemon's true name.
>>43918018
Anon I need to know what happens next. I need to know.
>>43909906
I don't know why I'm laughing so hard at this.
>>43906131
>be XX Legion astartes
>chilling for some R&R after a long day of killing xenos
>taller astartes walks over and starts shooting the shit
>he buys me a drink to congratulate me on a particularly nice headshot on some foul xenos filth
>we keep talking and drinking
>suddenly start feeling really woozy
>wake up in the morning with no memory of the night before
>suddenly everyone is calling themselves Alpharius
>mfw I am Alpharius
>>43918626
>>43909274
kek
>>43917245
>>43918507
> Council of Nikaea happens
> Personally beg Magnus to take me with him as he storms off
> Mortarion is too grumpy to make my day hell after that
> The emperor made him bathe before the council
> See him leaving, scrubbed red raw with his armour shining
> Not even the strongest pine and lemon scented cleansers could completely remove his distinctive smell though
> See one unlucky marine get too close to his Barbarus-fume mask, collapse into a coughing fit
> No goddamn idea how the emperor can handle one of his sons being the biggest slobs in the galaxy
> It takes him less than three days to restore his preferred crust of dead vermin, spilled drinks and necrotoxins on his armour
> Wont stop bitching about having to suspend his "toxic environment training" for a day
> I'm just glad that my hair isnt burning out of my scalp for a few days
>>43918868
> Reach Istvaan
> Removed my own nose and tounge with my bare hands a few weeks back after Mortarion farted in a jar and made me open it
> The other bodyguards were absolutely hysterical with laughter while I tried to kill myself
> Mortarion got the mechanicus to make me a new cyber-nose
> Cant ever be turned off, more sensetive than the last one
> He seems to think that I'm down with his "jokes", tries to get all buddy buddy
> Spends loads of time with Horus now, talking about all kinds of weird shit
> I just try to ignore it
> Invasion of Istvaan III happens
> All the Death Guard who still bothered to bathe (except me, because footstool) are sent down to the planet
> Watch as Horus drops the contents of Mortarions bedroom onto the planet
> The marines down there think they were hit by life-eater virus
> Poor bastards
> Aparently I'm a traitor now
> Stand by Mortarion at the drop site massacre
> Mortarion gets hit by lots of boltshells, they do shit all except scrape off the scum of his armour
> A bit of it hits me in the face
> Nearly die choking and spluttering on the ground
> Mortarion laughs
>>43919124
> Go along with the whole traitor schtick after Istvaan
> At least fighting other marines is kind of fun
> Mortarion makes me call him "Morty"
> Other bodyguards resent me bigtime for being friends with the galaxy's biggest septic tank on legs
> Head on to Terra with the other traitors, some jerk named Typhon thinks he can get us through the warp after all our navigators died
> We get stranded in the warp, Morty's fumes start to fill the whole ship
> All the humans die, everyone else gets so sick that they wish they could die
> I'm kind of used to it by now, have to sit there while Morty complains
> He's starting to smell even worse now
> Daemons keep popping in and out of the ship, taunting the marines
> Bodyguards dont think the grossness schtick is fucking funny anymore
> Assholes
> The Daemons keep trying to make me serve their "Grandfather"
> Seem impressed that I'm not writhing in agony all the goddamn time like the other marines
> Fuck them, I've dealt with worse
> Eventually Morty pussies out, agrees to serve the Grandfather
> All the other marines do too
> Noone asks me, just ignore me as they all turn into gross-er zombies
> The whole ship looks like Morty's bedroom
> At least I can vent my frustration on the little football sized pustules that run around everywhere giggling
>>43919281
> Land on Terra several weeks late
> Go and join in on the attack on the Imperial palace
> Its been a long time since I've seen it
> Mostly just happy to be out of the ships
> Flies buzz around everywhere
> The other Death Guard are back to thinking the icky schtick is funny again
> I just focus on doing my job, hope that I catch a hellcannon shell in the face
> No such luck
> After months of fighting, it all suddenly stops
> Horus is dead
> The Sons of Horus piss themselves and run for it
> Forced to withdraw with Morty
> Flee to eye of terror
> Morty becomes Daemon prince
> Still keeps me as his footstool
> Typhon renames himself something pretentious and takes most of the bodyguard off to go wipe their snot on walls and stuff
> Morty sulks on his own little plague planet
> Daemons seem wary of me, seem to realize that I'm the only one not down with the Nurgle thing who is still alive
> Fuck them
> Makes me sad to see Morty sulking
> He might be an asshole, but he is my asshole
> He still chuckles when I throw up in my helmet after he does something horrible
> Makes me his personal, sole bodyguard
> 10,000 years of "pranks" from Morty and the occasional war
> Whatever.
> At least he is happy
>>43915954
>>43916105
>>43916258
>>43916794
>>43917245
>>43918868
>>43919124
>>43919281
>>43919532
Footstool the Plague Marine, best buddy of Mortarion. We need stats for this guy.
>>43919608
He needs adamantium will.
>>43919532
this guy seems pretty chill now being a horribly plagued monstrosity strange nurgles followers aren't liking him
>>43919608
Not Plague Marine, but Plagued Marine
>>43919608
>>43919694
Working on it, just need to find a copy of the Chaos codex
>>43909118
>Implying CHIN CHIN would allow Slaanesh to take Papu Franku
>>43919695
They think he's playing along.
>>43919850
Plagued Marine here we come.
>>43919888
so is CHIN CHIN a chaos god because that makes a lot of sense
>>43919695
Makes sense though. Nurgle is all about despair and stoic acceptance of your fate rather than hoping to change things. Footstool's continued suffering and stoic acceptance of his miserable lot is basically perfect Nurglite material.
>>43919608
>We need stats for this guy.
You could always use the HH character creation rules. Awesome stuff.
>>43919850
I can only find a copy of the codex in Russian online
Can anyone help me out?
>>43907981
Also only did it to those who fled in fear; not the victorous mf
Footstool the Plagued Marine, Best Buddy of Mortarion
Chaos Lord
WS-6 BS-5 S-4 T-6 W-4 I-5 A-3 Ld-10 Sv2+/5+
Wargear
Terminator Armour
Blight Grenades
Manreaper
Combi-Bolter/Flamer
Champion of Chaos
Fearless
Veteran of the Long War
Bodyguard- Must always accompany Mortarion. Automatically suceeds all "look out sir!" rolls
There is a start. Not super up-to-date on the rules ATM, so feel free to add or correct. Based upon Typus because terminator with warscythe
>Be Alpha Legionnaire
>Primarch tasks me with posing as an Ultramarine but not really putting much work into my cover as a sort of joke to disarm my battle-brothers, and to come out as an Alpha if they directly ask me
>Okay but why-
>I get to be a pilot and CIC officer for this small coalition of multi-Legion Astartes after a bunch of eyebrow waggling between Alpharius and Malcador
>Why me I have better things to do like incite revolutions and overthrow shitty leadership on border worlds
>Alpharius says "it's for the Long Game"
>Not this shit again
>Decide to go through with it, meet with the Marines and run a few missions with them
>They try to act all smug and pretend to not know that I'm an Alpha, but literally who cares since I'm not even trying to keep cover
>One's a narcissistic Blood Angel, two are Salamanders who keep posing all the time for women when they're at their forge, and another's an Ultra who keeps glaring at me and questioning whatever I say
>I just want to fly the Stormbird, fuck's sake
>>43920247
https://docviewer.yandex.com/?url=ya-disk-public%3A%2F%2FTStySHC6LTnuDaLLMYsOOBKtDRc0DOCr54%2BCQJwaIkE%3D&name=Chaos%20Space%20Marines%206th%20Edition%20Codex%20-%202013.pdf&c=565d17afa26b
link to Chaos Codex
>>43920002
Do you know where they might be found?
Also- nice trips
I wonder what a SoH Legionairres reaction would be if big E teleported aboard right in front of him.
>>43920472
Book 4: Conquest, have the book but dont have a link. Check the HH general, might be there if you want it.
>be second legion
>be crusading the galaxy
>purgin' xenos, purgin' traitors
>all in the name of our glorious emperor
>find primarch
>turns out he's a giant loser
>emperor decrees our legion's extinction
>out of fucking nowhere
Worst fucking day ever.
>>43920515
>>43920609
>>43920628
>>43920645
>>43920657
Rolled 6 (1d6)
You know what /tg/? Lets give this guy rules, help me out
Footstool, the plagued marine
Deathshroud terminator, Morty's confidant
WS/BS/S/T 4 W2 I4 A2 Ld10 2+/4++ 65 pts (45+20pts tax for special character), upgrade for a Deathshroud squad.
Im rolling on the characteristics trait table, someone else roll a d6 on the Melee/Command/Morale/Movement table and then someone else rolls for a warlord trait (3d6, choose one).
Rolled 2 (1d6)
>>43920688
Rolling again in Morty's name!
>>43920688
Movement Advance- 6: Field Sense
>>43919608
>>43919694
>>43919695
>>43919833
>>43919997
>>43920688
>>43920717
>>43920789
Making a record of this thread. Footstool is a bro
>>43920688
>>43920717
Shit, you actually got the +1 Toughness
Rolled 6, 1, 4 = 11 (3d6)
>>43920688
>>43920789
Footstool, the plagued marine
Deathshroud terminator, Morty's confidant
WS/BS/S 4 T5 W2 I4 A2 Ld10 2+/4++ 65 pts (45+20pts tax for special character), upgrade for a Deathshroud squad.
Field Sense: Footstool and his squad reroll failed dangerous terrain tests
Rolling on warlord traits, someone choose a table to choose from!.
>be Word Bearer
>Think the Emperor is super cool and would die for him
>Find my Primarch
>He feels the same way
>Starts having us worship Big E
>The Emperor comes to visit us
>I get star-struck, shine my armor, adorn it with the holiest writ I have on me
>He verbally and psychically bitch-slaps us
>Then destroys our city
>I'm despondent, but nowhere near as bad as gene-daddy's got it
>He starts brooding
>Orders us on a fact-finding mission
>Shit gets real
>Then gets surreal
>Forced to sublet my soul
>10,000 years of damnation
>One day called on a Black Crusade
>Encounter loyalist marines
>They yell at me for not worshiping the Emperor as a God
So...Mad...
>>43919532
Jesus christ I almost died laughing
>>43920973
>someone choose a table to choose from!.
You pick, I can never chose.
>>43921227
Ok
Footstool, the plagued marine
Deathshroud terminator, Morty's confidant
WS/BS/S 4 T5 W2 I4 A2 Ld10 2+/4++ 65 pts (45+20pts tax for special character), upgrade for a Deathshroud squad.
Field Sense: Footstool and his squad reroll failed dangerous terrain tests
Warlord
Child of Terra: Warlord and his unit reroll rolls of 1 to wound in close combat.
There you go lads, Footstool in 30k.
>>43921291
Now how do we bring him into the 41st milenium?
The thread thus far, will update as required
>>43921319
A new warlord trait (Exalted Champion?), add MoN, VotLW points cost and maybe 20-30 more points as a tax to get Independent Character.
>>43921464
Or create a character using the CSM rules and then add the HH character creation tables.
>>43906131
FWs HH books show that the Night Lords were always made up of psychos just like the World Eaters, the Emperor made them to be fucked up and shitty.
>>43921515
>FWs HH books show that the Night Lords were always made up of psychos just like the World Eaters, the Emperor made them to be fucked up and shitty.
The Emperor didn't force Angron to turn Kharn into a monster. And you do know that a Terran NL was a decent guy for a batmarine right?
>>43921291
Footstool 40k
WS 5
BS 4
S 4
T 5
I 5
A 3
W 4
Ld 10
2+/4++/Feel No Pain
May reroll failed dangerous terrain tests
Warlord and unit reroll rolls of 1 to wound in close combat
Veteran of the Long War
Bodyguard- automatically succeeds all "look out sir" checks. Must always accompany Mortarion
Mark of Nurgle, Manreaper, Blight grenades, Terminator armour, Combi bolter
>>43921742
Cool stuff, shouldnt he be T6 with MoN?.
>>43921791
Tru dat
also, costed at roughly 200 points
>>43921651
A few exceptions perhaps but their early campaigns and the populations they were recruited from illustrate that they were created to fill a completely different role than the Emperor's Children or Ultramarines. Put simply the Emperor is an asshole who predisposed his sons to debilitating psychological issues, sure Angron being a gladiator and Curze being a serial mutilator didn't help, but they weren't going to be normal anyway.
>>43906903
Yeah, but he wasn't as big of a dick as some of the other Primarchs. He was like Perturabo but more sensible and less autist.
Also less being raised as a king and more drowning robot dragons in volcanos while living as a wild man.
>>43920984
kek
>>43906986
The Thousand Sons would've implided from rampant mutation, but I think the rest would've been fine.
>>43915954
>>43916105
>>43916258
>>43916794
>>43917245
>>43918868
>>43919124
>>43919281
>>43919532
Jesus Christ I'm fucking dying.
Just the story this time, in case anyone wants it
>>43924214
instant /tg/ classic right here
would anything change if all the primarchs were blanks?
>>43919532
Screen cap?
>>43925408
right here >>43924214 and here >>43921428
>be IV legion
>keep getting fortifications because all the other legions are too busy being a bunch of faggots
>horus goes batshit
>you side with him because you destroyed your world for keks
>you now own a fuckton of cool fortresses
>imperial fists keep being delusionals saying they have the best fortresses
>get those too
>>43909063
Thought it was good, nice insight into Night Lords. Think Sahaal is dead?
>>43921900
>Put simply the Emperor is an asshole who predisposed his sons to debilitating psychological issues
You have no proof.
>>43925674
Thunder Warriors were all psychos
The emperor went on to murder them all the moment they were no longer useful. Kind of implied he wanted to do the same to the Astartes
>>43925691
>Kind of implied he wanted to do the same to the Astartes
That was what Horus feared and nothing more. It makes no sense that the Emperor would get rid of the marines when he needed them. Necrons Tyranids are two examples of why he needs them.
>>43925857
> Implying that the emperor could ever predict emerging threats
>>43906131
Is there a connection?
>>43925897
He's not that bad. He's had thousands of years to exist. He could have seen visions of Necrons and Tyranids in the late 1800s during his guise of a lumberjack in French Canada, or been a space explorer in the Dark Age of Technolgy. That's all of the time he needed.
>>43925921
You're not the only one to think that.
>>43906131
Night Haunter needs to wash his goddamn hair. He has super-dandruff
>>43925934
>during his guise of a lumberjack in French Canada
Why not British Columbia? Was he not okay?
>>43925954
He probably picks a piece of paper with his guise for the century from a hat. That or he flips a coin when he narrows down two guises he can do at the time.
>>43918018
yes please
>>43926062
As for his guise starting at 2000 he's a scuba instructor. Reign of the Psychic Scuba Instructor. Sounds like something out of the SyFy channel.
>>43925208
No one would want to be around them and they would be instinctually reviled, so that would make the whole "leaders of men" thing difficult
>>43926233
>SyFy
Don't remind me of that, anon. I'm still pissed they changed SciFi to that grammatical monstrosity, to say nothing of the content.
>>43926719
I'm still wondering why they changed it to that.
>>43913538
Oh god, why am I comparing One Punch Man and Draigo now, that actually makes him seem like less of a prick though...
>>43926829
Time for One Punch Draigo?
>>43913739
No but I did participate in that thread.
I also wish it was so.
>>43926870
(After the fight with Mortarion)
"Gee, what a letdown."
>>43926807
literally because they could not copyright scifi, that is all.
>Be XX Legion
>Found a right-wing nationalist homeland and remove Kebab every day
>/pol/ still hates you
>>43919608
I want him to be in a HH novel. He could be the MC.
>>43922488
Emperor's Children suffered from cancer until Fulgrim was found. Turns out their gene stock was contaminated and they needed fresh source.
>The TS were most prone to mutation. True however it was codex astartes that set up law demanding from chapters to send their geneseed for examination to quickly isolate any mutation. Also chapter uses very small gene stock while legion's were much greater and thus their mutation would have much greater consequences.
>>43909008
and what is more severe crime than not being perfect? Remember we're talking about angry space demigods.
>>43928173
Defying the will of Him on Terra.
>>43927980
I think BL is always eager to accept new talent and with their constant milking of the series I'm sure they wouldn't mind. Hint. Hint.
