What's the worst thing you did to a player, group or npc /tg/ ?
I got a party member to open a door into nothingness, triggering a spike trap (not to my knowledge) coated in deadly poison, which killed the rogue. Shouldn't have stood there, we had bad experience with doors already that game.
Convinced an entire village to commit suicide trapped there souls and infused them into the forest animating them with magic and binding the souls to my will raised there bodies and had there zombie body's ride there tree body's into battle
>>43902976
Trapped another PC in a crystal of congealed time by drawing all the power out of an ancient arcane battery.
My character did this so that he would be able to keep the object of his admiration and desire safe and secure. Forever. That the side effect was a wave of distortion that devastated a highly populated area about twenty miles across didn't even enter into the equation.
>>43902976
during a pathfinder rouges react Hotline Miami Campaign I:
reversed a mugging not because I was getting mugged but because I wanted the mugger's hat.
stabbed a man in the face for introducing himself with humor
dropped a cow on the Duke though the Skylight during a Masquerade because we couldn't be bothered to infiltrate, even if we did have masks
killed twenty or so furries in a grave yard whilst naked
burned down and inn killing anyone who tried to leave then entered the still burning building to steal blankets
>>43902976
I didn't actively participate, but I did acquiesce and cover up, so that makes me an accomplice.
We were doing this murder mystery that we were stuck on. GM gave some hints that were a bit too cryptic. So our party leader decides one of the suspects was guilty, tortured her into confessing, and then executed her on the basis of that confession.
I, among other things, backed him up before our boss.
Only time I ever saw a DM turn an entire party's alignment evil with nary a peep of protest.
>>43902976
AND IT WAS YOU!!
Broke a competitor's legs, set them on a raft designed for the explicit surface of failing very slowly, and set them off to the center of a lake with little more than a note reading "bon voyage".
>>43903433
Nigga you went full Knights Templar Interrogation on their asses. What the shit.
Got so fed up with my Party's Action that the rest of the game did go full Magical Realm with no breaks or warnings.
My party emotionally/mentally mutilated the BBEG after finally catching up with him. Forced him to experience the sorrow and pain of all the people he had directly and indirectly wronged. Which was probably somewhere in the multiple thousands.
Motherfucker didn't stop sobbing till they executed him in the town square.
Held handswith an NPC in front of the party.
>>43903961
>Player
Let her be raped by a dragon to see what would happen.
>Group
Abandoned them in fights.
>npc
Forced a marriage to an orc chieftess, to unite the two groups.
>party finally meets the BBEG
>BBEG collected all family members and several hundred villagers
>all above were presumed dead
>BBEG told the party to throw ALL their gear into a pit of lava
>failure to comply ment he killed 30 people at random
>entire time every 30 seconds the villagers must by hand kill one of their group or else he'll kill 2 instead
>rogue vehemently refuses to give up the gear he earned
>the other 5 shove him into the lava put
>BBEG laughs then kills rogues family and home village (40) people cause he didn't need them anymore
>party is now entirely defenseless
>demands they kill the casters and the martials cut off their dominate hands
>after about 2/3rds of the survivors dead they finally comply
>broken, defeated, down to 2 out of 6 members
>the BBEG finally let them go with only about 40 people left
>Half of the survivors died on the cold mountain and the barb lost a leg to frostbite
>new campaign starts up and the warrior is trained by 2 one armed teachers one of which had a mace for a peg leg.
>>43902976
Do you really want to hear about the scene of my sadistic monk torturing the BBEG of our game?
(note that the monk here is in a xianxia setting so they are equivalent to wizards)
>>43905207
Put away your rod and just post it faggot
>>43904741
Sounds like a party of idiots, who the shit would want to be trained by them?
>>43902976
Player: Kicked someone out of the group because he kept bringing his little brother. He didn't even participate in the game, but he also wouldn't shut up and just let the rest of us play. He'd constantly hop on the Xbox and pull up "funny" youtube videos that distracted everyone.
Group: Cancelled a game night because I had to work 18 hours straight and just didn't have the mental focus to keep my train of thought together when I got home.
NPC: Was playing an ice mage and we captured the BBEG. Said BBEG had sold my character's sister to slavers, so she froze his limbs one by one and made him watch as she shattered them with a hammer for no reason other than to make him hurt.
>>43905432
No idea but there was a part where the triple mace wielding barb and the sword armed warrior were fucking shit up with their now leveled up apprentice.
Kidnapped another character's pet "cat" (technically it was a lion cub) and violently bashed its head against the pavement until it died.
It didn't even have anything to do with the other player or his character. The NPC I needed to form an alliance with really hated that cat so my character just decided to straight up kill it.
>>43902976
Had them kill the witch pursuing a little girl. It was too late when they figured out that the little girl was actually the witch and the the one who they though to be the witch was actually the little girl, who had been forced to switch bodies with the witch and was trying to get it back.
>>43905789
Adoration: You show an unexpected level of pragmatism for a meatbag, Master!
I had my giant spider step on his head. It was supposed to hurt; it wasn't supposed to kill him.
>>43902976
Player: Tore his character sheet to pieces, in front of him for inserting his magical realm into the game in the form of raping a small girl. I wasn't the GM.
Group: Called game night off pretending to be sick when really I was playing Fallout 4.
NPC: Stripped a man naked and teleported him into the plane of really pointy things.
>>43905789
Worse than Hitler
>>43905986
>the plane of really pointy things
oh my god my sides, i'm dying
>>43902976
Well /tg/... do i have a tale for you
>Playing Barbarian Half-Orc
>Other Human Barbarian PC
>Wants to take a piss just as a joke
>Human Barbarian gets hands caught in bear trap while taking piss
>Tries to break free
>Hands get further caught in trap, as well as dick
>Helps PC out of the trap
>Hits him lightly for messing up
>Turns around to punch me in revenge
>Dick hits tree
>Splinters
>Goes to town
>Dick dipped in iron to make a cast is the only way to fix dick
RIP, Though seriously, that was a good campaign
>>43902976
My fighter took turns with the drow cannibal assassin in torturing a NPC for hours while the cleric was watching.
Then we feed the NPC to a giant vulture.
>>43902976
Fed some bandits to an eldritch abomination?
I don't really do evil that much. Same character also raped an NPC, but my character's alignment was still chaotic neutral.
>>43906004
My GM described it as a hallway with the floor made of legos and spear walls. The spears themselves jutted out at random angles and varrying lengths just to fuck with you.
>>43902976
My group ended the world once.
It was an accident, I swear.
>>43906185
Story time.
>>43906226
Well first of all, the Setting was based heavily off of Dominions, if you've ever played those games, with some shit our GM tossed in by himself.
We had three players.
Myself, a Necromancer who somehow ended up a Happily Married hero of the people. Still not sure how that happened.
A Super edgy Blood Mage who wanted to take over the Empire, mostly using Demons he could summon.
And a guy who played someone from "Fantasy Austrailia" who invested heavily in Astral Magic, and wanted to be a "wild mage", so his shit could go completely out of control.
The party never even got together to be honest. I don't think our characters ever met. We had entirely different goals.
I ended up taking over a small County within the Empire. Then I got into a pissing match with Marignon, who absolutely loath the undead. Defeating their armies, taking them over, and being a Growing power in the Empire caused....issues. Especially with the "Iron Order", the major religious power in the Empire, who want to cut the world off from magic in a, hilariously enough, magical ritual.
Bloodmage guy on the otherhand was trying to take over the Capital City, which was fucking massive practically a barony in and of itself. Mostly in the slums, but he eventually got pushed out and was taking other Territories within the Empire.
Aussie guy on the other hand headed out of the Empire and started gathering fucking Orcs under his banner.
Needless to say it was a god damn cluster fuck. Now skipping forward a lot of time, a lot of shit had happened. Wars fought, princesses married, etc. The three of us end up in a fucking three-way battle and are just destroying the landscape with our magic. Funny thing, Death Magic, Blood Magic, and someone tossing around Wild Magic? It doesn't end well. Eventually the GM pulled up a program and rolled a d1000.
We rolled a fucking 1, and Boom. The Wild Magic went crazy, grabbed on to the Death and Blood Magics in the air and completely undid Creation.
now that I think about it, there does seem to be an oddly high amount of burned down orphanages in my gaming history.
>>43902976
Our group has done worse in terms of violence and torture and whatnot but I still think the worst thing was when a player in my Rogue Trader game stalked and then killed an innocent woman for political purposes.
Basically the party wanted to frame a political group for terrorism so as to discredit them and gain power in the government. They got the idea that targeting the primary political rival of that group would make the terrorism seem more plausible, so they had the party's ruthless psychopathic ship pilot stake out a congresswoman's office. She was out but her secretary was in. The player waited until the secretary left for the night, followed her home to her apartment building, and then ran up and snapped her neck on the lawn outside.
It didn't really help them much in their goal, and it was a minor part of a session, but whenever I think of the worst thing we've done in RPGs I always think of that first.
>>43906185
Me to. We had a guy who could copy powers who copied the power to instantly accelerate to your max speed, but due to a weird combo he also accidentally ended up having an infinite fly speed at the same time.
The instant he tried to fly the solar system got atomized from the shockwave.
>>43905883
>videogame reference
>>43906835
What? How is that a video game reference?
>>43902976
Well, I was trying to save the middle east from a cult of vampire worshippers. I ended up destroying a number of oil pipelines and triggered a 6-way war , which resulted in millions dead and a radical Islamist caliphate being born from the ashes, making it their mission to exterminate Judaism.
Oops
Critical failed a roll to hurl a player's cat into a washing bucket, and overshot, landing it in a river with whitewater rapids...
She never forgave me.
>>43902976
I did a false flag attackagainst a civilian targetto break a ceasefire
>>43903129
If you're going to say their that much at least use the right word. That shit is super hard to read.
I once stuck a window to a man's back opened it and watched all of his organs slide out, that was pretty bad.
Oh and there was that one time I opened operated and ran a load of death camps but in my defense that was a better idea than the berserker's original plan.
>>43904323
>Let her be raped by a dragon to see what would happen.
What the fuck? Was this some magical realm shit?
>>43904741
Rogue was the only non-pussy in that party. BBEG can't kill your acquaintances if you kill him first.
>>43902976
We were trying to kidnap a mother in some weird breeding hive, but the other people there resisted, so I opened the hatches and made basically everyone suffocate. I don't know how many there were, but the complex was big enough to have its own transportation system. None of them had any cortical stacks.
>>43902976
I was playing a Drow character the "right" way (i.e. exiled because of bullshit politics, hates the fuck out of the topside world and wants to go back to the Underdark, needs money and power to get back without being killed off). Our first mission was to take down a Goblin camp, so we start off by taking out a wandering patrol so we can get information from them.
My character is Lawful Evil, the rest of the party is some flavor of Good or Neutral.
I convinced the Chaotic Good Druid to go forage for herbs to help interrogate the one goblin who survived. As soon as she's out of earshot, I started flaying the goblin until it begged me to stop and told me everything I needed to know. Including that they had vicious guard wolves.
Most people would go "okay, wolves aren't particularly tough, we can take them." Not this character. Oh no. He carefully finished flaying the goblin, then started carving off the juiciest pieces of meat. And poisoned them. And fed them to the guard wolves.
All before the druid came back from her foraging.
>>43904323
I kind of want to know more about the first one too. How the fuck does that even happen?
>>43905540
>>43907206
Brutal. You guys may be psychopaths.
Faked her capture and murder by bandits to avoid the arranged marriage that would have benefited her family, and became knight instead.
After that, bitchslapping some sense into the party when it was necessary, I guess ?
>>43907116
Rogue couldn't reach him. Anti-magic field room and a giant ass ravine between the party and the chained up villagers. Bbeg just walked around stabbing someone when need be. Only way across was this draw bridge from his side chains, controls, and all.
>>43907347
Then that's clearly a puzzle boss not a "welp we're fucked time to give up" boss.
>>43906959
>oil
>wars in middle east
Nothing of value was lost.
Most evil thing? Revenge on guy who drugged us and kidnapped us to work on slave ship - as slaves obviously. We mutilated him, tortured hims psyche, and left him alive so he would spread the word. We also knew where his little daughter lives, and how to get to her.
Most dick thing? Played chaotic random character who just wanted to piss off and kill one character in party. DM gave her, my target, extra powers that made her invincible, fudged rolls in her favor all the time, and made plot centered around her. Ignoring other players.
Funny enough Dm wasn't into her or anything.
>>43903386
Nice
>>43902976
Sneaked iron dust into the Duk'zarist's meal. In my defence, he deserved it for being an unrepentant murderhobo and revealing our existence to the Inquisition.
>>43902976
I performed an autopsy on a bunch of still alive aliens, to see how they tick. And then I infected one with what's pretty much the black plague's bigger meaner cousin and "showed him mercy" by letting him go.
ayy lmao genocide best day of my life
>>43907347
Use your brain next time.
>>43907436
>google this
>Allergy to Metals: Iron and its alloys are poison to the Duk'zarist. If their skin comes into contact with any metal containing iron, must make a Resistance roll difficulty 40. If the metal is pure iron, the difficulty is 60 instead. Those who fail it will vanish completely leaving their empty clothes and belongings to fall to the ground.
Jesus dude.
>>43907548
But what about their blood??
If it's free of iron, are they all anemic?
>>43907617
The iron in your blood is:
1) ionic, making it not a metal any more
2) chemically bonded, making it not a metal any more
Duk'zarist are entirely fine to have red blood. And if there's some weird "fuck you no iron whatsoever" clause, then they can go with haemocyanin, which contains copper instead.
>>43902976
Rammed a goblin down the neck hole of a decapitated bugbear
>>43907617
>>43907631
The also aren't human, so they don't have to give a shit.
I TPK'd my party on my first Shadowrun GM because I wasn't used to the system and didn't realise just how lethal combat is.
>>43907356
>>43907475
Knowing the bbeg he wouldn't have stopped some sort of rope bridge made of us or a rope tied to an arrow or some such and would have just walked off but in the crunch we panicked cause time was real and the villagers were dying.
>>43907206
>Chaotic Good Druid
Not that I actually give a shit about alignment restrictions, but is there an edition that allows that?
I just assumed the "must be half neutral" rule applied to all of them.
>>43905883
>>43906835
>>43906905
Sounds like The Witch's House to me.
>>43902976
Save an orphan from a cult, thus doom the system to fall to tyranids.
Dark Heresy fuck yeah
>>43909735
Can you tell us more? Sounds interesting.
I always play good two shoes characters. The worst I've done is flick a pebble at someone because I didn't like them.
>Banged a shoggoth which would have resulted in children that would end the world if not for the fact that the party showed up to kill us. Ended up screwing up the bard's brain so she saw the world how I did. She's the only one who doesn't blame me for what I did, though she did manage to get the brain thing reversed for her
The reverse shitty person moment:
>I'm stuck in the astral plane, unable to pass on, because of being part divine thanks to something me and the fighter did earlier. Now their trying to feed my soul to a god I created to reawaken it.
>As revenge for that and because I was bored I may have tried to abduct the soul of the fighter's semi-divine son into the astral plane when rebels tried to assassinate the fighter's wife.
God do I miss that campaign.
>>43909836
I should probably mention that the wife was still pregnant when I tried to abduct the soul of the fighter's unborn son. That's kinda an important part of that bit.
>>43909836
Also, it didn't work but I might have tried to end the world one time. Just a bit though...
I came into this game part way through and found out that the campaign was centered around people who were essentially soul-bonded to dragons. If they died the dragons died. And these were like, the last eight dragons in existence which were needed for some ritual that prevents the world from exploding. So each player had a smallish dragon soul bonded to them. The DM offered to let me pick up as one of the NPC dragon-bonded-dudes but I decided to just play a free agent working with the party.
Well we're in a BBEG's dungeon and one of the NPCs with a dragon who can't fit through the door is pissing me off to no end. We need to capture her because she's fucking everything up but we're supposed to take her alive.
I forget exactly what she did but after the third or so drawn out escape attempt I tried to lynch her, knowing full well that it'd result in the slow death of the world when the ritual went uncompleted because of her death.
Also, I may have plans to resurrect some dragon bones to fill in for dragons who are supposed to be part of this ritual which I don't happen to like very much...
Our last campaign had a recurring NPC who was an immortal time-travelling playwright gifted with artistic genius/madness after being forced to wander the abyss alone for centuries.
At one point in the journey we actually discovered the original version of him before any of that shit had happened. My character convinced the party to bring him with us while keeping the whole deal a secret and then threw him into the very first portal we came across so that he could achieve his destiny as a tortured artist.
One time we had a full-fledged evil one shot just to have a change of pace and get the murder out of our system. We hardly took it seriously and we decided to fuck around and use the FATAL magic mishap rules. Every time a spell was cast, you'd roll on the big 1000+ mishap chart. I played a duskblade and things got fucked really quick.
We all played some form of chaotic evil and were just fucking up a town. Someone's idea was to spare all of the children and see if they could survive on their own. My character wanted to find someone to grow up and hunt him down in the future, so he went around trying to find a suitable child.
Eventually I found a kid who tried to fight back after his parents died, so I tied him up and marked him with a spell. The FATAL mishaps already made my character's face twist like Olidamarra's mask, and another one applied to the kid. It gave him a tiger print on his skin. For funsies, the DM rolled to see the kid's potential as a future adventurer, a nat 20.
The kid stopped crying and instead looked determined. I gave him some food, a knife, and told the other PC's not to kill him. I left and presumably the kid grew up and eventually a brave warrior with a tiger print on his skin hunted down my character.
We all did fucked up shit that day, but I always play the goody-two-shoes in RPGs, so it was new for me.
>>43910212
Fucking stolen.
>>43910242
wot
>>43910267
Are you kidding?
A kid growing up, marked by the man who helped slaughter his village, knowing that they'll inevitably have to duel in the future?
That's Grade-A adventurer material right there.
Either as an NPC or a future character, I love it.
>>43910303
Yknow, I never really thought of it that way. That is a pretty cool idea. I'll steal you stealing from me someday.
My soellsword type character burned a guys legs off while our friend smacked him in the buts so many times it was ridiculous.
We then tied him up and used water magic to interrogate him by simulation of drowning.
Then we caught him on fire to get more information.
Eventually we killed him, after our vampire friend drained his life force and used a car battery and jumper cables on his nipples.
Man I miss that game.
I've been lying to my players for about two months now. At least half of the information they think they know is true is false.
Through careful use of red herrings, lies they find out, tropes, metagame "knowledge", and the fact that at least one has played with me before and "knows my GM habits", I've managed to pull the wool over their eyes.
They know they're being lied to, but they don't know what about and they don't know how deep it goes. Most of the lies are pretty shallow. They've already uncovered a pretty big lie, but they don't think they've actually found the truth.
I know if I was a player I'd be either really frustrated or really excited depending on how well I could see the strings connecting all this bullshit, but I get such a rush out of deceiving my players. I'm sorry.
>Shadowrun
Placed poison gas into the vent system of a convention center during Anime Seattle, killing hundreds and injuring much moregood riddance.
>D&D
Let the female lieutenant of the BBEG get raped by the party's werewolf for interrogation
>As a player
Tore apart my mate's idea for a character on the basis it was lame bullshit- it was and I was being a bit of a cunt, but he needed to hear it
>As a GM
Ran Lover in the Ice for Delta Green
>>43907768
Honestly sounds like you pissed off the wrong guy, came unprepared and had to deal with the consequences.
>>43902976
Probably the worst thing I ever did in-character was involved in interrogation--and it seems that's a common theme here:
I stabbed a hobgoblin's arm to get him to talk. When he stubbornly didn't, I put a thunderstone (the 3.5 equivalent of a flashbang, basically) in the stab wound and activated it.
>>43910531
>Shadowrun
Did you face any consequences for that?
>As a player
What was the concept?
>As a GM
What is Lover in the Ice?
Once, in a game of Demon the Descent, I took as payment for a contract ALL of vampire's pre-embrace memories. I then promptly left it for someone else to deal with the inevitable draurg to be
>>43910652
>Did you face any consequences for that?
Nope, it was a run we took. Got paid and everything. The news reports of cosplayers bawling their eyes out notwithstanding but eh
>What was the concept?
Necromancer who was not only good (blech), but was using his minions to build fantastic tanks and a turing-capable computer. And he had a british accent
>What is Lover in the Ice?
Semi-infamous CoC PDF where a midwestern town's power is knocked out by a snowstorm, semi-thawing a south american rape demon who was placed in cyrostorage. For mature audiences only.
>>43910582
He was just a bored eccentric that decided we seemed like fun.
>>43910708
>necromancer who was not only good
Sure, alright.
>but using his minions to build fantastic tanks and a turing-capable computer
Maybe end game stuff. Probably a little out of tone though.
>and he had a british accent
TO THE GALLOWS.
>>43907670
This is why you use Food Fight.
>>43910761
I'm a firm believer in "concepts aren't inherently bad, it's the execution that makes something shit", but tbqh this guy and his reddit humor would've pushed me over the edge at some point, might as well have gotten it out of the way before it started
>>43910708
>Bought and read Lover in the Ice
Jesus. How did it go for your party?
>>43906905
It's literally the plot of a video game, word for word.
>>43905540
Utterly ruthless.
>>43911876
Body swapping trickery is most certainly not a new trope.
I once had someone find a "rare volume of dwarvern erotica". It described in extreme detail of howA well-built and muscled dwarf grasped his massivehammerand pounded a beautiful piece ofpure steelwith enough force tocreate the most magnificent axe in the history of Dwarvernkind
>>43911958
>Body swapping trickery is most certainly not a new trope.
No it's not, but as I said, the description in >>43905883 is a blatant word-for-word summary of a video game's plot.
>>43911982
That's a pretty fucking simple plot, nigga.
>>43911985
Which changes things...how?
>>43911985
He's off slightly. Its not a game plot but strongly resembles a quest in dragon age:origins. It can end with the demon possessing a little girl and a little girls soul being put into a cat.
>>43902976
ZEHAHAHAHA!
>>43912935
>>43902976
Attempt to sacrifice my party to my demonic patron after summoning him to reality.
>>43912935
>>43912958
>>43912935
>>43913038
Ahem.
"zehahaha"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LZyH2v8Pl50
>>43909836
>>Banged a shoggoth which would have resulted in children that would end the world if not for the fact that the party showed up to kill us. Ended up screwing up the bard's brain so she saw the world how I did. She's the only one who doesn't blame me for what I did, though she did manage to get the brain thing reversed for her
...is this just you posting Saya no Uta? Or did your DM do that without you knowing?
I only did one route in that but it was banging a lovecraftian abomination, the party hunting you down, corrupting someone's mind so they saw the world as fucked up as you did, and then the abomination's children ending the world.
The game had two choices in it and I am pretty sure it was possible to reverse the fucked up flesh sight but it is urobuchi so maybe not.
>>43910708
>>43910531
Man I don't get all the stigma around Lover in the Ice. The "rape demon" is basically an oversized Alien facehugger and it's not like the scenario tells you to graphically describe the monster forcing a fleshy tube down the victim's throat or is trying to use a rape metaphor for anything but horror fuel. It's a solid scenario and I'd only give running it a second thought if I was playing with complete strangers or knew that someone in the group has actually been raped.
>>43902976
I'm the poor guy who never brings snacks, never hosts in-person games, and always needs a ride to the venue.
Somehow my group thinks I roleplay well enough to offset that - but honestly the only way I really roleplay is tothink of what I'd do in the situation and then have my character do literally anything else.
>>43914197
Least you're not self-inserting. It's a step up from a lot of people I've RPed with.
>>43902976
As a character:
>Player
Stalked and murdered a barbarian who told me he was eating children.
>Group
Character sees liquid pouring out of a painting from a pitcher down into nothingness, cast spark on a whim thinking it'll shoot fire. DM tells me the room ignites 46d10 fire damage as something equivalent to a jet engine roars up from the bottom of the pit. I'm only one left alive as I was immune to fire...
>npc
Nipple Eyes
I don't have many as a GM cause I'm not deliberately a dick.
>>43902976
>>43914247
I don't want to believe you. I really don't.I do /not/ need reasons to see good in myself right now.
>>43914512
No, I'm pretty sure that's a slut.
>>43914532
I've seen some shitty RP, man.Wanna talk about it, buddy? Want some french fries?
While we had a despotic kobold duchess as a captive I pretended the meat I was eating was her husband and that he was delicious, being a lizardman eating his remains was plausible but we hadn't actually taken them with us
>>43902976
Killed the omnibenevolent god of love because the PC was born ugly. Used a basically defenseless group of people as a scapegoat to rally a nation. Murdered all the firstborn in the kingdom because the king's more legitimate bastard could have been among them. Spared the devil for an infernal boon. Killed my PC's wife without allowing her to explain why she sided with our enemies.
Two words that defined the entire campaign.
"Consensual disembowelment."
My group has gotten the world destroyed a couple times in different campaigns.
>>43905986
>I wasn't the GM.
My hero.
>>43914569Honestly my sob story is pathetic enough that Tumblr would be justified in laughing at it - but enough blogging, I should probably come up with something on-topic.
Anyway, I'm playing an LN Inquisitor of Asmodeus in a party full of CG's in my next Pathfinder game. Maximum nofunallowed mode, go!
>playing modern day mercenary game
>my dude is a gruff explosives expert from South Africa
>infiltrating a compound in Mogadishu
>go in silently
>immediately encounter the mark's little kid daughter in the hallway
>GM basically says she's about to start crying
>two other characters start trying to shush her
>my character raises his suppressed pistol and shoots her in the chest
>this was a forum game, but I could feel the disgust of some of the other players
>in the end it was for nothing
>mark's bodyguard is fapping behind his boss' computer
>starts firing his goldplated deagle before we can silence him
>garrison outside starts waking up
>party pacifies the boss and his wife
>my character starts lobbing explosives at the garrison outside
>riot forms outside the compound's gates
>exfil arrives with stolen chopper
>set plastic explosives before we leave to erase any traces
>what was supposed to be a quiet in&out devolved into a complete massacre
>mfw
Real fucking shame this game fell apart after that job.
Worst thing I've done in a tabletop was in an old VtM game. Group only played three or four sessions but it was enough. What started as an attempt to learn the system and get familiar with characters turned into some horrible spiral where we were basically one-upping one another in edginess.
My character, a caitiff, took a few hostages to use as blood bags and torture dolls when boredom struck. Also had the highest killcount (including several vampires, a shitty teenaged werewolf, a nympho ghoul and a family of four.)
The ghoul, actually, was the subject of the last session. We were tasked with getting rid of a ghoul who had started attacking neonates for her blood fix. My character and another guy, a Ravnos, seduced her back to her apartment. Ended up throwing her off the roof, naked.
Buddy of mine murdered a McHugh's kitchen boy in cold blood during a Shadowrun game, though. "Teenagers are annoying," he said.
>>43907009You did Her Majesty proud, lad
Had all but one killed at one PC's wedding.
>>43906311
Does your GM have anything written up for that Dominions setting (and system)? I've always wanted to run a campaign based on it.
>>43902976
Player (character): In one combat session I managed to shoot both our lower-leveled rogue and our high-20s-AC tank in their respective asses.
Group: Technically DM, but he started asking questions about our opinion on how Confederates basically lost rights to their flagobvious baiting is obviousand I turned it on him so hard he ragequits and our newest member took up the mantle. Naturally, the game got at least four times better.
NPC: I pinned a goblin to the ceiling with a spiked suit of armor and a single arrow through the neck. When the cleanup crew was done, they left the armor and arrow still in the ceiling.
So you know, totally vanilla shit.
>>43902976
>player rolls an japanese nurse mary sue
>is a complete asshole during the game
>finaly leaves the group because were "no fun"
Now his japanese doctor/model/saint is nothing more then the a mindless slave. Outlet for the pervertet urges of the Priest and Scamartist of the group who already got bored of her and wait for a good oportunity to trade her away.
Split the party to have a drider ovipositor stuffed up my character's cunt.
>>43916082
Was it at least in character?
>>43916218
Yeah. She killed a bunch of drider eggs, then felt bad about it later after reflection and some insight, so she returned to the drider lair alone one night and offered aid as repentance They said they couldn't replace those eggs without a host.
It was a happy accident that impregnation and oviposition are two parts of my magical realm.
I once "disarmed" a wizard by cutting off all of his fingers, cutting out his tongue and ordering the cat to start eating him alive from the toes up so he couldn't concentrate while the psion interrogated him through mind reading.
In my defense we were playing an evil game and the cat probably would have eaten him alive anyway. Apparently gnome is a delicacy among her people.
>>43909801
Hive planet was basically divided into three mafias, one which was basically jeanstealers and wanted Nids, one which was just your average Mafia, and one which was tour average Mafia with heretical witchery bullshit.
We ended up working for the heretical Mafia while investigating into the normal Mafia while we were supposed to investigate the jeanstealers Mafia but mixed the two up.
Anyway, we stumble upon this systematic kid kidnap scheme thing (of latent, very powerful psykers or something) the heretical Mafia's running while heading back from another day of boring office cover jobs, which got us into trouble, but we managed to squirm into working on the project.
Except our first target was a little girl.
After negotiations with her parents broke down when they were killed in a jeanstealer Mafia attack by the group which had been tailing us, the Arbitrator decided to get his saving people thing on again.
Priest fucked off after swearing to punch his dick back to the Horus Heresy, Scum did something, Arbitrator played with the kid.
The Guardsman sighed at the idiots, took his grenades, prometheum, and sledgehammer to the jeanstealer Mafia guys.
When the rest of the group came out front at the explosions, Guardsman was sitting on rubble from of the face of the house which was decimated, bleeding like hell and smoking a whatever they're called.
We had no clue the fuck we were going to do and shit didn't make sense anymore, and then the Inquisition called us to his semi-dark eldar-ish ship, and Arbi took the girl of course.
Later news of the system's fall came in, and gm told us that she'd have saved the place.
Players were dubious of her power and significance.
Then a Changer of Ways or whatever the fuck it was spooked her.
Once.
But that whole fuckfest is another story.
Now, I'm going to drink heavily and laugh at the stories in this thread because I miss those bastards.
>>43914792
Remember anon.
You. Are. The Law.
>>43918718
This was years ago. Like, uh, what, five? Six? And after a year of playing as well.
I think we had a techpriest who inforgot to mention too?
I once tied myself a rope from the loom of fate to anchor myself to the heavens. Needed something to climb back up from after diving into hell. A few hundred thousand mortal lives mean nothing in the face of an immortal pairing after all. Death is no escape from a yandere sidereal, and no obstacle to true love.
>>43918948
And everyone will hate me for it!
I got kicked from my group last year because my real life had been immensely shitty (cheating wife, student loan default, multiple car accidents, etc) and they decided that having me at the table was "too depressing."
So, I guess, the worst thing I've done is show up? That probably makes me a monster, I know.
>>43919945
Nah.
Just a human.
>>43919945
Don't beat yourself up, man, that's real problems. Don't let your group blame you for the way life treats you, especially if you've taken it as well as you have (i.e. haven't committed or thought about suicide yet).Cracking under the pressure of senior year of high school while everyone else either did fine or didn't care, only to find out none of it mattered anyway and I don't have real problems? That's not real problems.Especially since I'm still not over it three years later.
![65ed15e0341603c06e66fd2e56cde527[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/cj1Pidg.jpg "65ed15e0341603c06e66fd2e56cde527[1].jpg")
>>43920050
>>43919945
>>43919169
>Yandere
I fucking love Yanderes.
>Sidereal
Normally I'd start by burning your toes, but it's a Yandere Sidereal... It's okay, I guess.
(Fuck Sidereal otherwise though)
>>43920087
>implying >>43919945 is edgy
>implying >>43920050 isn't Tumblr
>>43919945
>>43920050
I shot a kid with stick n' shock in shadowrun. he went down like a sack of bricks.
But, seriously what was a 12 year old girl doing out at night in the city with a physics book while their are monsters out.
>>43919169
That's not how dying works in Exalted...
>>43920194
Have you possibly considered that she might have wanted to study physics under the stars?
Some people have weird ideal study environments.
>>43920050
I'm not gonna lie and say I didn't consider suicide, but more so because my ENTIRE stable of close friends was in that group, and I've had all of two words with only one of them since. I lost my group, all my friends, and my wife inside of 2 weeks.
>>43920194
Was one of the monster blowin' their nose or some shit?
>>43902976
I ate a fellow PC once, it was the first session of an evil campaign, and I didn't want to waste rations
the player was okay with it because he was playing a sterotypical minon, who got murdered by a hydra while I hid and the overlord pc got stuck in the mud for awhile
the dm's reaction was priceless and he was nice enough to point out said character had a twin, who was hiding in the bushes the whole time to replace the partially cannibalized pc
but the same character also ate children.
Oh the joys of playing a man raised by hags, sadly the campaign didn't go on for long
>>43920194
You stole that from MiB
>>43920194
I need to watch that shit again.
Fucking glorious.
(Unless the glasses are tinted as fuck but one can hope)
>>43920268
>>43920303
Oh so you're PROUD of being lazy. Ok, my bad
>>43910808
Maybe, but I gotta admit the party was a lot smarter about how they played after I retconned it as a simulation.
They went from headless chooks with guns to Rainbow 6 level of operator.
Turns out brutally murdering the party is a good way to scare them straight.
>>43920211
>>43920224
What's important is that you're still here, and you had much less trivial reasons than I did for even thinking of it.
>>43902976
>get to the BBEG
>Character decides to steal his body to attain ultimate power
>I wipe the party
>New campaign to stop my character
>Player decides to make a min maxed mage to try and stop my last character
>Spends the entire campaign gaining more and more power
>We meet
>I steal his body
>welp the GMs universe
>GM's face when
>>43920871
That's capital-E Evil, anon!
>>43919945
Jeez, what dicks. Unless you were always showing up late and doing nothing but moping all the time it's not their problem.
Hell I had a group were two of the players were homeless highschool dropouts, but come game night they'd show up and play like normal people and everything was fine.
>>43907084
...What the hell was the berserker's plan?
>>43902976
The worst I probably ever did was interrogate a man by tapping nails into his shin bones. before that the worst i did was send the last minion from any ecounter back to their masters with broken ankles. Often the character would tell them "tell the others what you saw here today."
>>43920196
of course not, until you make it that way by making of dozens of tiny adjustments over time. Literally bending rules and making deals, then supplementing those shifts with godlike powers. When you're a sidereal, things 'not working a certain way' is only a temporary setback.
plus the gm liked the spin on the orpheus story. fiat for fun and all that.
>>43920871
You cheeky cunt.
>>43902976
*sigh*
I played a warforged. but that was not enough. My friend also played a warforged. We were sent to retrieve a stolen shipment of materials for the town blacksmith.
Track down some bandits, attack some animals along the way, my friend is playing chaotic stupid, I am playing like its my first day outside of a box. To be fair his background was that he was burried in a swamp full of corpses for a while with only his own thoughts, like 200 years ago. My warforged was fresh out of a box marked "defective" in a long dead language.
long story short, we capture the bandit leader after a fight where I cleave his #2 in half, ruining a magical shirt in the process. We need to interrogate, so immediatly Chaotic Stupid stuffs bearshit in his mouth and he starts to scream. I decide to subdue him. I am the strongest character in the party and I say "i guess ill just kick him in the head...light style." GM goes, roll for it, too high kills him, too low is whatever. treats it as an attack.
I roll at 20. A natural 20 on a man who is prone, with bear shit in his mouth GM sits and calculates what is effectively a crit on top of a sneak attack or it's equivalent as he was not expecting nor could defend from it. I get this. "a shower or gore, brains, and bearshit covers you and the rest of the party."
Thank you /tg/ now i have Ideas what to do with my Players
>>43920871
Screencapped.
>>43903386
What the hell is a rouges react hotline miami campaign? A pathfinder game based on hotline miami? It sounds pretty fun from your description.
I as the a wizard bound to the will of the dmpc at the time, twisted the words of the dmpc and another pc against each other instigating a fight that had been brewing for some time simply so I could be freed from my bonds. I then auto detonated like 300 skeletons cause I was bored but thats another story and terrorist act later in the life of this wizard.
>>43902976
I mercilessly ran an entirely legitimate tuckers kobolds type scenario using my group of lvl 15 characters a swamp and the orcs who lived in it for thousands of years. The party was discouraged and fled the field after their third set of characters attempted them.
>>43906063
Holy fuck. Is your GM Satan?
>>43902976
So I played a Sorcerer, 3.5. Our DM strictly forbade explicit alignments except for Gods. I mean, Paladins were expected to be good and uphold the law, and clerics were expected to follow their deities' ethics, but beyond that we were to demonstrate our morals via actions.
But I digress. I had an enemy in my backstory- a Fighter general who had killed my family after sacking a village for supplies to fuel a campaign against a war my home was never involved in. Needless to say, I wanted him to suffer.
Around level 10, my increasingly vindictive and pragmatic sorcerer learns he has a daughter, four years old.
Cont.
>>43923492
I set in motion, with the help of a sociopathic rogue pc who owed me a favor and some priests of Loviatar (torture goddess) my plan.
The girl, at home with her mother in a large city, was kidnapped, with her mother being brutally murdered before her eyes by said rogue. She was then taken to the clerics of Loviatar, who I paid to non-lethally torture her for six years while we did quests unrelated to revenge. (Our party wasn't going to waste a lot of time going after the general of a now massive army just because I wanted a showdown.) We go about our business, me hedging my bets the dm will let the campaign continue for six years in-game.
cont.
>>43913785
Lemme sum up the other two endings.
>Fix Fuminori's sensesFuminori is accused of the murder of the neighbor and his family. Admits it to protect Saya, and is admitted to a mental institution. Saya visits him one last time, using text messages as she doesn't want him to see or hear her true visage.
>Kouji calls FuminoriWhile calling Fuminori, Fuminori calls his house number and the ringing outs Kouji as being in his home. Later on, Kouji and Ryokou track down Fuminori and Saya. Ryokou splashes Saya with liquid nitrogen and blasts her with a sawn-off, killing her. Seeing this, Fuminori commits suicide.
>>43902976
I fucked an underage girl because Satan told me to.
>>43923529
Six years finally pass, during which I hear the general is frantically searching for any sign of his missing daughter or the murderer of his wife.
Phase 2 begins.
The Loviatarian clerics were "overpowered" and driven off by our heroic party and the girl was "rescued" by me, who loudly proclaimed "I found the girl!". A script we rehearsed played out, in which we lamented that her father had paid to have her mother murdered and for her to be sold as a torture test dummy for the cruel clerics.
I expressed my deepest sympathies to her and promised I would bring her evil father to justice.
But naturally, once the horror and shock wore off, the now ten year old girl was PISSED. She wanted revenge. She asked me to teach her how to get it.
I gained an apprentice.
Cont.
Executed an elf my commander raped because he ordered me too and never told a soul.
One of the NPCs in my setting (which is made up entirely of troops who have TOB classes) was only a fighter because she got no training from her master, instead getting relentless physical, sexual, and emotional abuse from her.
The party found this out, and decided that she was someone who needed to be helped, not killed. Someone who needed to know that someone out there will forgive her and help her down a better road.
A rather brutal fight later, one of the PCs, instead of finishing her off, decided to tackle her and hug her tightly to try and break through to her.
It didn't work. She took her knife and critted him through the back into his heart, killing him.
I've stolen stuff from other players in game, though when it fit the character, like a rogue. For the group, accidentally framing us for a crime we didn't commit. For NPCs, not specifically my character but we as a group raided and took all the women of a tribe. Not as rapey pillaging as it might sound since they were orks, but we basically just moved in with them and kicked all the men out.
>>43923576
Four more in-game years pass. Our sociopathic rogue, unbeknownst to my now increasingly powerful apprentice, planted evidence that linked several of the general's most trusted advisers to either the murder or the abduction. There was blood.
Then once I felt she was strong enough to suit my needs, we made our final preparations, the party agreeing to humor my last act of malice.
We managed to goad, via poisoning of his troops and stirring up of dissent, the General into meeting me "alone" at the ruins of my hometown.
I called him out for what he did to me, sparing no obscenities in recounting how he took everything from me. He expressed some guilt, but said in so many words, "that's war".
We fought. I eventually left him down and dying, and stabilized him with a scroll.
I then revealed that I knew of his daughter, who stepped into the clearing, and lamented that even with all he had done to me, I had thought he would treat his own flesh and blood better.
His joy turned to horror when his daughter went berserk, calling him out for all the things she had been lead to believe he'd put him through. He tried to explain it wasn't him.
She threw everything she had at him. Magic missiles, fireballs, lots and lots of evocation spells I had encouraged her to use.
When she was spent, I let her weep for a while. Then I told her that she had done well, and that there was one more thing I needed her to learn before I ended her apprenticeship and recognized her as a proper sorceress.
"Your father was telling the truth. Disintegrate."
Cont.
>>43920224
That's brutal, man, I'm so sorry to hear that. Well, think of it this way: close friends and wives who abandon you when you need them most are better left behind. Now you have room for better people in your life.
>>43923651
One disintegrate and one trap the soul scroll later,
I paid a visit to a demilich who needed a soul- preferably young- to be consumed in his research. I handed hers over in as a token gesture of my goodwill to my superiors, and in turn he said he would try to avoid killing us unless we got in his way.
After all this was concluded, our DM just looked at me for a minute, then said, "Congratulations. You're going to hell."
tl;dr
Got my revenge on the guy who killed my parents by having his wife killed and his daughter kidnapped and tortured, framing his friends for the murder and kidnapping, brainwashing his daughter into hating him and letting her kill him, then telling her I lied, killed her, and had her soul destroyed forever by an demilich.
This twas my face.
>>43907111
Some of us got caught breaking into a dragon lair. He intended to punish us and went out for a fly and a wash to think about what to do. Well the fucking wizard got some super aphrodisiac from (I think it was) a nymph that was a fertility avatar, as mostly just an in-game joke. He had the idea that by covering the food we had in the stuff, the dragon would eat it and go into a lust craze during which time we could get out and he'd probably fuck one of his kobolds or a cow or something.
Well we did as planned but the escape didn't go so well, and rather than risk not escaping myself, I left the other player behind. It turned out that the worries were unfounded and there was more than enough time to go back and help her escape, but instead my guy just watched what would happen out of morbid curiosity. Eventually the dragon found her trying to hide and raped her, without the sense to change shape (if even that was something dragons in that game could do) due to the lust craze. Afterward I caught up with the others and just said she was dead and we left her in the clutches of the dragon.
So technically, it was my character who left her to be raped. But just the same, if it weren't for the fucking wizard, rape wouldn't have happened to begin with. And furthermore, if she had treated my character better, he would have gone back to save her.
I'm not sure it counts but here it goes.
After my demonologist died, his soul got put into a trident by a friendly demon who specialises in necromancy - let's call him Doug, he's a real swell guy. Upon reuniting with my party, who have treated him like shit 60% of the time for being a double-dealing backstabbing asshole (against folks who needed to be dealt with to be fair, never to the group), I pretend to have rolled a new character as an intelligent magic item.
This has been going on for almost a year IRL, and 3-5 years I think in game time. There is a wizard in the group who suspects nothing, and a witch-priestess who OOC thinks the soul in the trident might be some reincarnation of the "previous character".
All the while I've been getting closer and closer to my plan to turn Doug into a god (it's a weird setting, I know), so that I can get a proper resurrection (it's a very rare thing in this setting, not even prophets get rezzed), as well as return my wife's (NPC) magical powers to her (she lost them quite a long time ago).
All this I have done right in front of the group, both IC and OOC, and they suspect nothing even remotely close to the truth. I even took them to the complex I'll be doing my magic in and the witch-priestess loved the swimming pool-bath. Our GM and I are laughing our asses off every other session when they believe another set of bullshit I tell them.
We start an pathfinder game ,we went for about a year (we played every 2 weeks, sometime every week).
Played an evil jerk who loves destruction, but what happen is beyond evil.
>had a ring that made everyone think I was good, but I was pure evil.
>As the game went on I did a few evil things that the players question, I manage to convince them I had a reason.
>A BBEG was slowly killing everyone off in our wold, he could kill everyone strait away but took his time.
>a god told us we are the chosen ones to stop BBEG
>After a year of play, we reach the point of no return
>we fight and beat BBEG, while no one was watching i take BBEG heart
>we go back to town as heroes.
>We make out speech.
>I take of ring
>Aura of evil pulses off me
>I eat the heart on stage
>I become BBEG
>I wipe out all but the party.
>The party irl are yelling at me
>gm was on this the first day
>Kill the party and live on as a god
>>43923703
>>43923651
>>43923576
>>43923529
>>43923492
Jesus Christ anon.I hope you started concocting ways to avoid being raped by giant spiky dicks forever in that setting's equivalent of Hell.
>>43923808
And the player didn't care?
In my current campaign, I've basically cursed my players´ characters in that everyone they meet is going to eventually (extremely) horribly die. The longer he knows the person, the worse it's going to end up.
In addition, they constantly have to make horrible decisions resulting in thousands dying, even though they, personally are extremely powerful.
One example: They were in a city named Troy, the smallest of three city states, consisting of nine hundred or so people (the other one was two thousand or so, and a third was twenty thousand or so). Basically these horrible monsters showed up at the walls and attacked, being monstrous and whatnot. They armed themselves with antimatter and were heading to the walls when they fell and the creatures flooded in, generally hacking people to bits and slaughtering them horrifically in droves before the party. Their AI informed them that the city was lost and retreat was the only viable option, so they went and picked up their bosses and high tailed it out with a boat load of people, essentially leaving everyone in the city (and surrounding cities) to be horrifically killed.
More recently, they doomed an entire planet for the chance to stop the monsters that killed those cities.
I was DMing for a group of new players as they were going through their first dungeon. I put greater basilisks in a maze.
>>43924053
Dude. They are more likely to ask him for tips, or have him teach classes.
I ran a modern mystery-horror game some years back. The players learned that a "King in Yellow" was responsible for some random atrocities.
Player character stakes out the area where the most recent one happened, decided to wait for anyone wearing yellow to happen past. I figure what the hell and send some guy wandering through wearing a yellow hoodie.
Player kills him.
Cold.
Disposes of the body. Checks his ID. I figure why not, the guy's name was "James King".
Not just the in-game character, but the IRL player thinks he's actually done something positive for the story.
He was actually slightly shaken up when he realised the following session that he'd just slaughtered some poor random schlub.
>>43903129
That's metal tbf
Used a cultist as a trap-check(ie, I shoved him anywhere remotely suspicious to make sure it wasn't trapped), then when he finally died, I zombified him, rigged him to explode, and sent him back to his superiors.
That'll teach them to send us to fight a Lich.
>>43924583
Did that to a rogue a few times. We got a "you don't SEE anything" from the dm and the rogue said it was all clear. Spike pit killed the paladin. Entire session if the rogue checked for a trap and didn't find one i'd make sure he was going first or i'd shove him in.
>>43924197
Oh and one time I tortured a whole town to death in front of it's Lord so he'd tell me where his treasure was. Funny story, it was in his keep and not even hidden! The Lord turned out to be a neutral evil person and so didn't give a singular shit about all those people, and I, being chaotic evil, figured it'd be faster to do that than search.
I probably should have figured it out by the twentieth person when he wasn't showing much reaction, but the wizard was having fun, I was having fun, the peasants were screaming like they were having fun, it was a good day.
>>43914792
>>43918948
>>43923422
Nah, Lucifer.
>>43921259
So we had to prove that we were making a solid effort to decimate the 1/4 of the world we controlled or the BBEG was going to march in his robot army and fuck us up and we'd found out that due to the world being a bit fucked at the time mass combat resulted in both armies exploding as soon as emotions started running high.
I arranged for the prisons to institute a system where by prisoners could earn protection for their family members and shorten their sentences through voluntary enrollment in a death battle tournament with the option for an exit career in army if they earned their freedom.
The berserker's plan was just to go into prisons and start collecting skulls with his meat grinder fists until he hit quota.
My method was still pretty bad but at least it did to some degree allow choice in the matter and did discriminate between white collar criminals and lifers (you had to win a number of fights proportional to your original sentence to win your freedom).
>>43924674
Source?
>>43924140
She was pissed at the wizard for the plan, and out of character me for leaving her, but otherwise not really. If she knew I could have come back and helped her though she'd probably be more pissed than she was.
Played a monk based around pic related, who killed humanoid enemies by kicking them in the junk.
>>43924033
Stale pasta. Mhhmmm
>>43920050
>>43920046
>>43919593
>>43919945
>>43914792
Shouldn't we just make an /tg/ Self-Help group at one point?
A tiefling paladin, sworn to the God of death, was assassinated by cultists while we paused in a mountain village. In accordance with his religious customs + dying wishes, my halfing wizard carved a death symbol into his body and dumped it over a bridge spanning a chasm in the mountain
then someone on the other side yelled into the night, "BLACKGUARD, OUR DRINKING WATER IS DOWN THERE, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE"
i responded by severing the bridge rope and walking back to the inn
>>43902976
I've-
Really never done anything heinous. Not truly.
Oh, I've wanted to, planned to, designed characters that would relish having -making- the opportunity to--
But I always end up playing the straight man of the party.
I always end up being a pretty reasonable guy.
Worst I can say I've done is stab some little girl that was going all banshee on the party because I wasn't letting her play with the probably magical puzzle box.
It's either that, or throwing overboard the senile old man that was threatening to overturn an airship I was riding in a fit of paranoid anger.
>>43924807
Feminism. Not even joking.
>>43902976
I've told this story before but the footnotes are my character killed the love interest of another character in our group. she was a good friend of the group, a tavern wench who we had all known since level 1.
I killed her, and with the help of another character hid the body then lied to the group about her whereabouts. every time a character would ask about her i'd roll a bluff roll against their passive insight. told them i was rolling my streetwise to get in contact with her.
things went pretty well for a while until i fucked up a roll then the whole conspiracy started to unravel which almost led to the group splitting up.
then the bitch came back as a Vampire.
all in all not exactly my best moment.
>>43926148
This is why you cut off the head and hands and take the heart of anybody you kill. They're not trophies, they're insurance.
>>43926237
i only have myself to blame.
i wanted to give her a decent burial for old times sake.
plus i should have known it would happen what with we were burying her in the countryside of Karrnath.
currently i'm just trying to explain the situation to the group in a way that doesn't get me killed by them. maybe i should open with a joke?
>>43926319
Point out she's not dead anymore and stronger than ever. Problem solved PLUS you did her a favor. She might even be your new waifu. Devoted to you body and soul. She won't even be able to live without your blood
>>43926340
ah yes i can see it now
"Oh hey Galdor so i got some bad news followed by good news followed by more bad news which may also be good news if you're into that sort of thing"
"what?"
"Now it's really important you let me finish the whole story before you react, is that a new bow by the way? looks great. anyway So you know you're girlfriend who has been away in hiding for the past year or so?"
"yeah?"
"well turns out your suspicions weren't far off. she's dead. She was a traitor to Breland and was selling the secrets you told her to Aundair and the inspired and so I killed her."
"WHAT!"
"That's the bad news BUT good news she's alive!"
"WHAT?!"
"now here comes the bad news again, she's now a Vampire and is really quite miffed about that whole me killing her thing. but remember those trashy novels you used to read? this is kind of like that right? so you know, silver linings and all that right?
>>43926425
Its perfect! Introduce them and be their best man. If all else fails feeblemind and permanency seems to fix any seriously bad situation right quick.
>>43925951
Huh. It seemed like an interesting comedy crime show thing.
Oh well.
![2aaa61aac9f76cfdf5bcdb3ccf3a7238[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/TDzKvpI.jpg "2aaa61aac9f76cfdf5bcdb3ccf3a7238[1].jpg")
I pretty much am a forever GM for my group ATM.
So I let out my aggression in little ways like a parent does to their children. Making the game fun for all is my main focus, but I make sure I have fun as well by messing with them Calvan's dad style (since I have a sick enjoyment out of being a troll.)
So I put references in my games for this, but not in the way people expect. So when they get them I hear them slap their faces and go "God damnit GM."
You name it, I referenced it. By setting, NPCS, or just as simple as props or sayings.
The list of used things are as follows: "MTNT, Weird names like crystal methinay, Fallout, their own player concepts, recent acts in politics, dragon dildos,ponies, Tiburon (without the name), gears of war, Alice in wonderland, aliens, RTSes, and other pop culture I might have forgotten to the point I might have worked on fallout 2.
They enjoy my games, but I think I put to much effort into them to the point that they think I am one of the best GMs they have. So I'm stuck in my job.
Not the worst thing, but I definitely pulled the fingernail torture from Higurashi to get rather petty information that could have been found out through some fairly basic legwork.
>>43902976
My character is currently responsible for the death of most of the crew on the ship he was working on as a Shipwright.
>>43927137
I'd let youfill my game with referencesif I could play in your group.
What system/game are you playing anyway?
So...I played a rogue, that was secretly a serial killer (and a friendly chef with a french accent by profession). As our party encountered the BBEG, I was allowed the question him with the health of our Lawful Evil Cleric. Strapped him up, got my skinning knife out and started peeling the guy. When the skin was gone, my character got a barbed wire and started essentially "tenderizing" his flesh, all while the cleric was resurrecting him. Got creative, threw some rats in too, so that he gets worked not only by me but the little buggers too. Sadly the guy was completely broken by the end of it and couldn't really spill the beans on his evil overlords but my character got enough ingredients to bake a nice meat pie for all guests at the inn we were staying at (without their knowledge).
>worst
Played a mad man once. Every session, I rolled on a table for his obsession.
Around the third or fourth session, I rolled "feels faulted by a party member, and plots the fall of everything they ever had and loved."
It was almost exclusively explosive runes in their pockets, blowing them through the dungeon we were in, like some sort of rocket jumper from Team Fortress 2.
Problem was, the healer was always on his ass.
So I pushed him into a pit.
We escape from the dungeon with his corpse to go get a revive.
Turns out the nearby village is a cult town. They set the healer's corpse on fire and turn on us. Psycho me just sits down on the floor, smiling as druid, my target, and the female warrior get torn in half by cultists. I'm left alone exclusively because I'm not fighting.
In real world, party members and DM are asking why the fuck. I reveal my obsession roll for the week and they sit there dumbfounded that I'd deprive them of an adventure for that reason.
Long story short, I killed a party and became a cultist solely because I decided to use a table to be crazy.They rolled up fresh characters and we started working for the cultists the week after, good guy DM.
>>43927293
Right now maid rpg.
>>43927322
>party members and DM are asking why the fuck
>and DM
Asshole.
You're lucky it was a good guy DM.
>>43927641
Specifically, I was a caster who looked like a homeless, worthless beggar. The cultists wanted the adventurers dead, which fulfilled my "goal," so I removed myself from the risk of death by sitting down and not fighting back.
Everyone knew in reality my character was insane, but not how I'd act on it or how I determined my obsession until then.
Good Guy DM ran a long-standing high-lethality D&D campaign, so he didn't mind much in the long run, but was still surprised.We ended up summoning an elder god who swallowed the world, marking the end of the campaign, because there was no more world to play on. Next game is another story.
My character killed a man in cold blood once. Just a guard who was sleeping standing up, with an exposed throat. It wasn't the first time my character killed a man, but it was the first time he had murdered for being in his way.
The character gave away all of his blades after that. Adventuring has stopped being enjoyable once he realized that human life has intrinsic value.
>>43903583
>using things from Eragon
There is a fine line between ballsy and stupid, anon
As a DM, I combined the Thing and the fungal bio-technology from Finch together.
>>43927961
WHY?
>>43927228
You are probably the most horrible person in this thread you monster.
I can't stop scratching my fingers just from remembering that scene now.
>>43902976
Once my character (a do-gooder paladin) hit an unarmed prisoner in the face with the blunt side of his axe because our interrogation was getting no results and he was a key player in a necromantic plot that a) we knew very little about and b) was threatening to kill thousands.
Later, as a kind of penance, he threw himself into a battle he was highly unlikely to win (low-level 1v1 vs a skeletal owlbear) in order to protect his friends and the city.
Got near-mortally wounded in the process (one hit chunked off 90% of my HP), but not before taking the owlbear out. Was too weak to dodge its falling mass and was knocked out by it.
Now have horrific scarring and took a while of the campaign to recover properly (especially bad, seeing as he's a halfling) but have just about redeemed myself.
>>43928166
If you have to ask the answer is either Because Science! and/or Wizards!
Cut off fingers and toes on another player for a bag of gold.
I also kidnapped a child and ate her mother infront of her. I played as a cannibalistic elf.
>>43921533
No. That's not how it fucking works.
Resurrection is Capital I Impossible, full stop. Nothing can gainsay this.
If you want to houserule it out, fine, but that's not Exalted anymore.
>>43928772
Is it cannibalism if its not an elf you ate?
>>43928772
>Cut off fingers and toes on another player
>player
>>43928861
Hm I didnt think of that. I ate all types of humanoids. Mostly their organs.
>>43902976
Mind controlled a fellow party member and forced him to kill someone that he had invested considerable effort into keeping alive despite the best efforts of the god of war.
In my defense, I was being actively possessed by the god of war at the time, and the someone in question happened to know a ritual that would not only kill said god, but remove their divine spark from existence, preventing there from ever being a replacement god of war.
I didn't use a coaster once.
>>43929180
You are the monster!
>>43928827
How about you get the stick out of your ass?
>>43929304
Hey, if you enjoy it, good for you.
Just don't go around calling it what it's not.
Exalted means consequences. You don't get take-backs. Ever. Dead is dead, full stop.
>>43902976
Once had a PC who cut the throats of sleeping guards, looted them and then later said that pictures of their families were our families and that helped use escape an angry mob.
>>43928166
It was a slow build up and players had plenty of time to stop it. Instead they made drugs, pursued personal vendettas, and actively hindered the other party pursuing the same goal due to miscommunication. At one point they even fled the city they were in, leaving normal PDF and hive gangers to deal with an other worldly breach, figuring it was the best time to do the research they should have been doing while trying to emulate Walter White instead of dealing with a very real, no time left crisis.
Then they went back.
>>43928222
To be fair, time was of the essence. It just happened that my character took the most drastic measures at the least time consuming step. Anyway, look at the best type of stapler remover.The guy actually didn't talk, so I had to get a hammer and nails and worked the joints.
>>43902976
>Player
Manipulated them into destroying humanity
>Group
Destroyed humanity
>NPC
Torture I don't feel comfortable describing here.
>Redwall game
>We're playing vermin pirates
>Capture a Long Patrol hare, lock him in cell
>Try to interrogate him, he refuses to cooperate
>Order lackeys to bring my a plate of piping hot scones
>Sit on chair outside cell, slowly eating scones
>Make a big show of savouring them and describing how delicious they are
>Hare is eventually reduced to a sobbing broken wreck, confesses everything he knows
>Thank him, put plate of scones down just out of his reach
>Leave him there to starve
I'm a complete fucking monster.
>>43930455
I'd forgotten how those books would on about food sometimes. Just remembering is starting to make me hungry.
>dm must be getting bored
>notice alot of new homebrewed items popping up
>mostly useless
>wand that shoots out sparks no damage can cause fires
>a self sharpening dinner knife
>a pair of perfectly fitting socks
>start finding interesting ones halfway through
>a knife that when you make a cutting motion opens a portal to a place of your choosing
>can determine exits size
>use it to go gigantic for the most part till we all OOC agree that doing so is WAY too powerful
>use it for torture and fucking with shit instead
>get a carriage of horses and a chain with a barbed hook
>make big portal behind the cart
>little portal near fingernail
>attach barbed hook to giant fingernail
>slap horses
>expected it to pull the guys fingernail off with the force of the horses
>actually tried to drag guy through portal
>portals edges are razor sharp
>pulls finger through but starts cutting through this guys hand like butter
>finger finally pops off
>left with a giant finger and a fucked up guy who decided giving me info is in his best interest
>mad scientist in me is intrigued
>slowly let character delve from NG to CE through his new morbid curiosity
>various tortures happen
>pseudo surgeon happens
>sexual antics obviously
>espionage by being mini but opening portals in guards brains as they're walking
Less interesting but fun nonetheless
>wand that changed how you perceive light
>can now see all of the light spectrum
>make it so people only see blues or reds for funsies
>theres an epileptic king who's vision goes between blinding migraine inducing white to pitch black so dark it effects his balance
>torture using knife, blinding colors, and hallucinogenic mushrooms
>DM eventually calls it
>whole group decides new items have to be group okay'd
>they don't realize this just gives me advanced warning and time to plan.
>>43929858
>fictional torture too horrible to describe anonymously on fucking 4chan
Lookout, we got a badass over here.
>>43930716
He probably defenestrated the man.
>>43930716
Or there's just a lot of shit that's interesting at the time but boring or too long to write out in a post? The idea isn't that he's censoring himself, he's just saying that a lot of that kind of stuff happens.
>>43930455
I would love to be in a Redwall game. It sounds like a fantastic amount of fun.
I will admit, even for a vermin band, that was a little cruel. Usually any torture they use is something that's more bearable than honey-drizzled scones, and they rarely starve creatures to death unnecessarily and tend to prefer simple executions. They're more bullies than monsters.
>>43930847
He threw him out a window?
>>43932101
That's a pretty paneful fate.
>>43930934
It was a fantastic game. By the end we had amassed a vermin fleet and were en route to besiege Redwall Abbey. Sadly I accidentally caused a party wipe that started with me kicking the berserker and ended with our ship exploding. Good times.
My PC was a searat captain. At one point our base was attacked by a Badger Lord and his retinue. I ran away screaming like a little girl from the badger until he eventually dropped dead from poison. Took his pelt, wore it proudly and proclaimed I defeated him in single combat. Nobody believed me, but nobody dared question me. The badger's brother took great offence when we met him though.
I miss that game.
>>43932173
hey anon, you're alright.
>>43929021
That would have been a bad thing how?
