You are an Ork. What do?
>>43902969
Hit on the orcs playing cards.
>>43902969
Rape elves
>>43902987
seconded
>>43902969
I go WAAAAAAGH!ing
>>43902969
Engage in homoerotic religious rituals to the gods of orkish fertility.
>>43902969
Pray to Gork
>>43902969
Find your destiny to become a famous Bard
>>43902969
Seek purpose in life.
>>43902969
Study for my math exam.
>>43902969
Eat, drink, and be Orky
>>43902969
Wait, we're living in a cave and dressed in loincloths, but we've invented playing cards?
Can anyone say...
V E G A S
E
G
A
S
Let's make this cave a tourist attraction! Sin and debauchery! Mob money! We'll be able to buy all the fertile elf slaves we can handle, wagh!
>>43902969
Wonder why the other orks get shootas and choppas and rokkits and stuff, and I have to live in a smelly cave with a loincloth like I was an orc or something.
Then wait for a ship to arrive to take me somewhere to fight things.
>>43903027
On second thought, pray to the better god, Mork.
>>43902969
Find a squig to eat.
Why do orks wear earrings? This seem too cosmetic for them to care
>>43902969
juggle the skulls.
>>43903264
>hit on
>he literally hits them on the head
i feel like a 5 year old but i chuckled
>>43903264
This art is 12/10 I love it.
>Tell that ork that Dobby-looking motherfucker was talking shit
>>43903308
second
>>43903095
I second this, we make the worlds first orc run casino.
>>43902993
THE ELVES WILL COME TO US.
>>43903264
Get fresh air because it probably smells like heresy in this shit-filled cave
>>43903264
Now equip one of the skulls in the corner as a codpiece. Equip the rib cage as a douchey armband.
>>43903349
That son bitch's bicep is as wide as her head.
>>43903264
is that a goblin or an anorexic ork?
>>43903364
Mongolian Wrestlers
Pretty much the collest thing to come out of that country since Genghis
>>43903403
*coolest
>>43903264
Mission accomplished! Now study for you math exam. Numbers are important.
>>43903360
i second this
>>43903541
Now steal the Cards and run out of the cave
>>43903541
i again vote for
>>43903360
>>43903541
one kill in the third picture? come on we gotta get more deaths in true ork fashion.
>>43903541
Without question.
>>43903360
Third vote!
>>43903563
Get those damn cards.
>>43903541
Take the cards, leave the cave, and start chucking them at whatever animals you can find.
>>43903360
Best choice by far
>>43903650
now we're ready to literally skull fuck someone
>>43903650
Wondrous.
Now toss cards at animals.
>>43903650
excelent
>>43903673
Looks like we already have a boner!
Use the corpse as a club. Weapons are always good
>>43903650
find ork babe
>>43903650
Try to convince the other orcs that, now that you have a skull codpiece, you should be their king.
>>43903693
Who let Carlos out of the shame cube.
>>43903650
Become Chief through overwhilming fashion sense
>>43903563
>>43903614
cards get!
>>43903742
Get out. Show Cards to fellow Outside Orcs
Then Pose as Chief as said in >>43903739
>>43903714
Seconded
>>43903742
Sneaky orc is best orc!
Now leave the cave, and hunt down a ferocious beast. Kill it with the power of dance.
>>43903714
Thurdeded
Challenge any opposition to your new rule to a duel.
Stakes: shadow realm
>>43903742
Trade others cards for club. Take cards with new club and leave the cave.
>>43903797
I support any variation of becoming the leader.
>>43903739
this
>>43903714
>>43903742
It's time to convince the other Orks that we'z Da Biggest an' Da Baddest by flash dancing our enemies away
>>43903828
pretty much
Do we have a name yet?
>>43903848
I vote for D'ork
>>43903848
orks dont need names, they just need fists and food and all is well.
>>43903848
>>43903858
D'ork Skullfucker
>>43903858
Who let Kevin out?
>>43903872
And slaves.
Delicious elf slaves.
>>43903899
did I not say food?
>>43903876
Seconded
Although I will also support "D'ork Skullcrotch"
>>43903912
indeed you did anon indeed you did
I like skull crusher, but I also like
Dick crusher of Skullz
>>43903921
>>43903945
Supreme Ruler D'ork Skullcrotch, Crusher of Skulls
>>43903958
i like it
>>43903958
Supreme Ruler D'ork Skullcrotch, Fucker of Skulls
>>43903991
Supreme bonecrusher d'ork skullcrotch, fucker of skulls
>>43903982
Well. We king now.
Rally the troops and raid the neighbors!
>>43903982
I guess it worked. Now make a club out of Dobby for your Ruler orcs!
>>43903982
the other orks beat you up take your codpiece and throw you out of the cave and down the cliff for stealing their cards.
ARCHIVE THIS THREAD ON 1D4CHAN AS IT CONTINUES!
>>43904031
no not yet before we raid we must recruit recruit the neighbors
>>43903982
Lmfao your my new favorite OP good job
>>43904031
Yes, this!
The Dobby creature is holding Ork's loincloth as a tribe banner.
Them orc pubs though
>>43904031
>>43904054
I vote for both of these, recruit then RAID!
>>43903982
yeah recruit some more neighbours and then we can go raiding and shit
Invent a new card game where D'Ork is the only one who can win
>>43904126
the rules
Dork draws three cards, everyone else draws one, whoever has the most cards wins
>>43904136
If dork is not present, three cards are drawn for him. These cards being to dork, no one else may claim them.
>>43904085
I prefer to think those are actually ominous dark haze exuded from the skull because of our new, sudden assertiveness....thus creating intrigue about what we might be concealing behind our calcium crotchplate...
Or maybe it's just a shadow from the cavelight...iunno
build international space station
>>43904136
>>43904160
>game is played with five orks excluding D'Ork
>four of this five give another ork their cards
>that ork wins by having five cards versus D'Ork's three
>>43904201
We murder that one, anon.
>>43904068
You now have a WARBANNER. Your WARBAND has formed. Map incoming.
>>43904236
No map. Orks have no need for (or ability to comprehend) maps. Go find the first things that aren't us, and conquer them.
>>43904236
This is awesome.
We crucified Dobby and turned him into a flag.
>>43904201
>>43904218
so when is this game going on 1d4chan
>>43904236
>Get some Warpainting first!
>Old Words of Wisdome from the Humans
>Oh wait, i D'ork can't read for Shit
>Make Smiley Face Warpaint
>>43904236
FIND THE ELVES
VICIOUSLY RAPE THE ELVES
BRING THE ELVES BACK TO CAVE AND TREAT THE ELVES KINDLY
>>43904236
Warchiefs need to look scarier
Cut down a tree and use the wood to make armour
>>43904269
>Locate elves
>Raid elves
>Kidnap female elves
>Bring them back to cave
>Play card games with them and be nice and proper
>Other elves find cave, charge in to rescue captured elves
>They don't want to go home
>>43904296
Pssh, wimp. Our scars will become our armor.
>>43904301
ORC VEGAS
NO ONE WANTS TO LEAVE
>>43904269
>raping elves
>not ignoring the elves feeble attempts at seducing us while treating them nicely
And we aren't kidnapping them. We are bringing them on ADVENTURE.
>>43904301
>Elfs try to cheat in new card game of Supreme Leader D'ork
>Elfs get turned into Armor
>>43904236
Expand your casino real estate. Get some harlot elves to serve drinks or something.
>>43904357
eat the road
>>43904357
Elves like forests right?
Let's go to the forest.
>>43904357
the forst is closest. Bring the wonderful world of card games and conquest to it!
>>43904357
elves are in the forst right? im pretty sure the consensus is to go meet the elves.
>>43904357
Search forest for elves
>>43904357
>FORST
FORST, FIND ELFS
>>43904357
>Bring the Word of Orc Vegas to the Forst
>>43904357
>road
>not "rode"
Pleb
Also, set up gambling/hustling shack on the rode
>>43904357
Let's go to the forest and kill/rape/eat whatever we find
Make spears and sheilds from trees
>>43904378
>road
>not "rode"
damn!
>>43904357
visit beard midgit stronghold. trade knowledge of superior ork card games for mighty weapons
>>43904357
Let's make copies of the map, and pin them on trees in the forest. Invite everyone to ORC VEGAS.
>>43904404
Second
>>43904357
Crash hooman settlement with no survivors
>>43904404
Third!
>>43904404
>>43904357
fucking this holy shit
>>43904404
I agree, show the beard midgits our superior card playing skillz
>>43904404
Thirded
>>43904410
>>43904440
>>43904447
>>43904449
>>43904452
awh shucks you guys
I say we go clockwise, forst, hoomans, then midgets
Orc Vegas... Put an irc at each table. Pay a human to go around and whisper "let the orc win, beard midgets dont rip your arms off when they lose.
>>43904404
Forth! And then on to the Forest!
A warband needs supplies to facilitate its endeavors....acquire supplies by the orkiest means available, as has been suggested.
>>43904484
Card Games?
>>43904484
I am certain you're referring to card games.
There's Orcjack, Orker, Texas Ork 'Em, we got all kinds of card games!
>>43904368
>>43904371
>>43904372
>>43904375
>>43904376
>>43904377
>>43904393
It's close but FORST seems to have more votes. We can do MIDGITS next.
You arrive at the forest entrance.
>>43904546
I WANT THAT BEAR!
>>43904546
>Challange Bear to a Card Game
>Win his Note
>Read note
>>43904546
Challenge the bear to a cardgame
>>43904546
Say hello to the Furry Orc, invite him to join our warband.
>>43904546
Ride the bear, assert dominance
>>43904546
That sign cant stop us because we cant read!
>>43904546
Eat the bear
>>43904546
Inspect large fluff ball
>>43904546
Make dobby sing a song to get the bear to join our cause. I'm sure there's still some life left in him
>>43904546
Challenge the bear to a shadow duel (of the cardgame variety)
>>43904553
>read note
>can't read it, too complicated
We ask the furry orc to read the note for us.
>>43904546
show new bear friend the wisdom of orc card games.
bear is now new best friend and most likely new medic of warband
>>43904546
assimilate the bear into the ork horde
>>43904546
>>43904561
Seconded.
He can be our most trusted general, relaying our orders to the rest of our growing horde.
>>43904546
GENTLY STROKE HIS EARS
SAY 'GOOD PUPPY' OVER AND OVER AGAIN
GIVE HIM A TASTE OF DOBBY FLAG FOR BEING A GOOD BOY
>>43904546
Look at BEARly legible note
this is the best thread on /tg/ right now
>>43904236
Before I forget, I'd like to point out Left Orc's unconvinced-looking expression at our warbanner here.
I think it might benefit us to keep a close eye on him in the future.
Otherwise, I think our warband has found it's first warbeast.
>>43904631
What do we do when Left Ork and right Ork switch sides?
>>43904636
WE'LL TAKE HIM HE'S ADORABLE
>>43904636
BUY GLORIOUS BEAR MOUNT TO LEAD OUR FORCES TO VICTORY
>>43904636
Forcefully ride the bear
>>43904636
Pay for it with our earring. (Skullcrotch is our new signifier, qm)
>>43904636
Steal the bear
>>43904636
Ask bare how much for bare
Most we are willing to pay is tree fiddy
>>43904636
Get the damn bear!
Write our name on it with Dirt to show it's ours!
>>43904636
Use goblin's blood to change "sale" to "free". Take free bear.
>>43904636
Bare joins warband!
Roll the bare by standing on it and walking backways
This thread is beautiful
>>43904636
WARMOUNT ACQUIRED.
Who do we pay tho?
>>43904684
Like a log in water?
>>43904684
Best mount ever. Let it maul puny not-orks as we roll over top of them.
>>43904636
New mascot of Orc Warband!
>>43904636
Eat the note. Take bear. Continue supply run.
>>43904650
I was gonna suggest we assign meaningless ranks to our comrades via body art so they can feel special...but to secretly keep track of Lefty.
>>43904680
Brilliant! Seconded!
>>43904680
this is amazing! They'll never see it coming!
>>43904716
Did we smack lefty? He could just have a lazy eye now
>>43904680
By Jove! They'll never see it coming!
>>43904636
Challenge the Silly Old Bear to a baseball game. If you win, he has to become your slave.
>>43904636
purchase the bear using a maori haka dance as compensation
>>43904817
Supporting.
>>43904680
This
>>43904684
then this
>>43904652
>>43904655
>>43904660
>>43904684
BARE has joined the warband!
>>43904817
This
Have a logical thought for a moment and wonder what kind of person owns a Bear and why did they think it was a good idea to sell it.
>>43904884
promote bear to highest rank under us!
>>43904884
Continue search for elves in the forest, use bear's knowledge to aid us in this quest
>>43904884
Promote Bear be in charge of lefty
Then search forrest for elfs to play cards with
>>43904884
"Glorious, Comrade Bear. What secrets do you know of the forest?"
Then,
>>43904915
>>43904909
Seconded. Have him indicate on the map where the Skinny Not-Orks are in the forest
>>43904884
Hide in bear a-la Trojan Horse and ambush wanderers to play cards against
>>43904915
Second. Cards with elves forest.
>>43904884
Explore the forest with our new friend.
Find MOAR friends to play cards with.
Give bare affectionate pettings.
>>43904884
Cover bare in honey, then use bare as katamari to roll up all the elfs.
Archived: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/43902969/
>>43904947
SUPPORTING
>>43904947
I'll support this
>>43904969
YES!
>>43904947
Yep.
Yea-huh.
This anons got it.
Alright, we need to decide now.
Are we going to rape the elves or give them crippling gambling addictions? While doing both is optimal, we should prioritize one over the other to focus on.
>>43904969
Me-e to-oo
>>43904999
Rape should be priority
>>43904999
Cards win out, no contest
>>43904999
take the women, give men addiction when they try to take women back
>>43904947
Voting for this
>>43905016
Hear hear
>>43904999
No way.
We're going to mercilessly play card games with them until they try to rape US, anon.
You have no idea how to ork.
>>43904999
Gambling addictions, so they have to pay their debt for working in our Casino Empire!
>>43904999
Gambling of course! You can't run a gambling empire without customers.
>>43904999
if we beat them in enough card games the rest comes naturally!
>>43904999
Gambling addictions all the way.
>>43905015
>>43905016
>>43905031
>>43905032
>>43905033
>>43905052
All these people who think gambling>rape
it's like you're a bunch of goblins instead of true orcs!
>>43904999
why don't we give them a game bling ad DICK tion, hueheuheueuehuehuehuehuenice numbers man you got the jackpot good job bro
>>43905064
>Lefty found
>Not wanting to get their money and body AND having them coming to you
>>43905071
if repeating digits then rape>gambling!
>>43905064
2 0 1 5
0
1
5
And this heathen still thinks that the simple act of elf rape (and is it even rape with those degenerates, truly?) could possibly be as rewarding as ORC VEGAS.
>>43905090
wait wait wait!
OK
GUYS
WHAT IFFF
THE ELVES WERE THE CURRENCY WE BET WITH?!? Like we bet elves instead of poker chips???
:DDD BRETTY GUD IDEA RITE?!
Good quests can still happen.
There is still hope for /tg/.
>>43905064
no senpai, see, we get them addicted to gambling, and then their debts become so big that they have to sell themselves to us, which ends with us getting the elf lovins AND we get someone to play cards with.
>>43905064
We don't need sex. We have Katamari Bear. All other experiences pale in comparison.
>>43905126
THIS
>>43905127
The bear's getting the honey for the Katamari, how helpful.
Get bees addicted to card games.
>>43905127
use the honey as a gift to seduce elves, regardless of gender, then trap them with the sticky honey and drag them home.
>>43904947
I'm supporting this. You know why?
Warbands march on their stomachs. Elves and Honey both make excellent snacks.
But you know what goes good with gambling? Hookers.
We can decide what we want to do with the Elves later, but acquiring them is priority one.
>>43905127
KATAMARI BARE A GO
>>43905127
Have orcs stand on each other's shoulders to get the hive down for (soon to be) Katamari Bare
>>43905127
KEK
starting to look like desmond the moon bear.
maybe a cousin?I STILL WANT RAPE GOD DAMN IT!
>>43905142
i change my vote the katamari bear
>>43905155
rape the bees?
>>43905127
Replace the goblins head with the bee hive, then demand the bees give us honey.
>>43905127
bear clearly has superior intellect. Make him a commodore and a strategist
>>43904947
NANANANANANA KATAMARI BARECYY
>>43905170
what if the bee's lead us to a giant bee hive where they have elf slaves.
what if the bees are controlling all the elves and it is the orks duty to rescue the elves.
what if the king orc has to win a card game against the queen bee to save the elves??!
>>43904044
Second
>>43905174
Seconding this!
Also loving this! This is some hero level shit OP!
>>43904999
Crippling Gambling addiction, then its not rape, it's receiving payment.
Help bare by throwing rocks at the bee hive
>>43904947
BARE has become EXCITED
>The literal only good quest on /tg/
Signed,
An anti questfag
>Year of Gork and Mork 15 + 2000
>Looking to rape elves
>Not avoiding the snake pit that is an elf vagina
>>43905217
roll bear onto elves to collect elves
>>43905217
He looks tweaked out as a motherfucker.
ROLL HIM. ROLL HIM AND COLLECT THINGS.
>>43905217
ROLL DAT BARE
>>43905217
Use Bear Katamari to roll up elves. If any of them resist, persuade them using the power of card games and gambling.
>>43905217
Point coked up bear at enemies
>>43905138
Get bees addicted to stinging elves, who are addicted to card games, when they're not giving in to their addiction.
>>43905248
Lets go full katamari in this motherfucker
>>43905217
Roll quickly, for the beez have been angered.Initiate comical chase scene
>>43905217
>kidnap forest elves with based katamari bare
>take them back to ORC VEGAS
>teach them the joys of playing cards
>treat them nicely
>cause ORC VEGAS is an awesome place full of fun and adventure
>i GUESS you can borrow some money if your luck has run out
>???
>profit
>ORC VEGAS
Try some of dat honey. Perhaps it can give you the might of bare?
>>43905249
THINK OF THE RICHES
also,
INVINCIBLE ARMORED BEAR COVERED IN BEES
THE ULTIMATE ENGINE OF WAR
>>43905272
[benny hill intensifies]
>>43905217
Roll bear, collect dwarfs. Get dwarfs hopped up on honey and card games. Release them onto the town, then assault the town after it's been weakend by rampaging card dorfs.
Warband too small.
>>43905296
only because we havent bred an army (with the elves)
>>43905285
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1bJnd4Yy7s
>>43905217
RolL TEh BARE
