>Turns out Magic the Gathering is real. You just awoke as a planeswalker.
>But you have no idea how to use magic and now Nicol Bolas is hunting you down.
>Oh yeah about that last one... You can access the official wiki for Magic at any time. He wants that intel.
>Also you got transported to a random world in the multiverse cause Planeswakers can't be on Earth (Cause reasons).
Wat do? What would be your plan?
I learn Disperse and Counterspell and spend life continually bouncing him back to his own hand while countering his counters.
Then I join the Izzet to meet hot science wiminz.
>>43728438
Could a human possibly seduce Nicol Bolas
Step 1:Google the shit out of everything Magic related because I know jackshit about the setting.
Step 2:Try to think of something using all my info, maybe get some protection from some based bloke and prove it by citing everything the nigga did by reading his bio.
Plan B:Find a way to get a giant mech. Because fuck it I'll find a way, infinite universes.
I choose green and white mana because fuck nicol bolas
I summon only loxodon smiters, fuck with my hand, bitch, I dare you
Sigarda the angel homie prevents a nigga from forced sacrifice, deal with it
>>43731077
Now that I thought of it, OP only said I couldn't be on Earth. Nobody said I can't go to a similar Earth with just as much dakka, or even be on something near Earth. Infinite universes infinite possibilities, in theory I can go full Rick and Morty on this.Unless it doesn't work like that, then please tell me.
>>43731047
Only with the tightest of boipucci
>>43731078
This, also run any cards that give pro-grixis
I immediately run off to Ravnica and join either Azorius or Orzahv because as long as I'm usefule to them (and being a planeswalker I most certainly will be) I'll learn and use their shit to protect me.
party with rakdos!
learn to Dreadbore,
come at me nicol
>>43731283
Definitely join Azorious over Orzhov, but I'd jointhe Simic and offer them Phyrexian oils in exchange for protection and learning to make big guys.
>>43728438
It's been ages since I've played magic, so... my plan I suppose is... 'Something-something-something, Roax, something, something, Magma Axe'.
I'm an unoriginal hack so looks like it's abzan with teched in red/black/blue protection and hose
Get at me dragon cunt
>>43728438
Study red, learn hilarious amounts of lightning and fire spells.
Study white, gain lithomancy.
Study blue, gain huge amounts of intelligence.
Use blue to convince Nicol Bolas to employ me, use white to spread my name as Mr. Fuck-Em-Up World Destroyer, use red to make my point if it comes down to diplomacy.
God I hate diplomacy. I just want to cut worlds in half and study the multiverse. Let me do my job Bolas, you conniving golden fuck.
>>43728438
Land in Phyrexia (either one), see what we can learn from there. Phyrexian mana and a couple drain spells are a nice shortcut to rocking 5 colors. Then we jaunt off to Theros to chat up Kruphix and learn some bestow spells, and then Ravnica because apparently newbie 'walker con is being hosted there. (golgari4lyfe)
Become the wurmmaster.
Go straight up mono blue. Get on a plane to the nearest islands and cast cantrips like Brainstorm into chaining infinite turns to live forever. Along the way learn to harness the power of illusions and bird drakes, and prioritize the study of artifice. After mastering blue, dabble in other colors in order, red, green, white, black. It all starts with blue.
In the final showdown with Nicol Bolas attempt to focus on tempo and disruption with victory achieved by Clever Impersonator type Clone effects on Bolas like Ajani used on Alara. Illusion beatdown, psionic blast plan B and brain freezing mill plan C.
>>43728438
Learn mindfuckery, join Dimir, trick Bolas into believing I don't exist, then walk down to Innistrad and try to seduce a certain vampire.
Well I'd try to learn magic, I guess. Blue magic, specifically, because that'd be the best for hiding.
>>43731077
There are (or were, rather) canon mechs in the setting. Not very threatening to Bolas, though. He's both one of the strongest mages and the strongest dragons so good luck with that.
>>43731304
>Giving the Simic Phyrexian Oil.
Oh_shit_nigger_what_are_you_doing.jpg
I cast Monstrous Growth on Nicol's horns and only his horns and watch his neck break from the weight then get a sand-papery blow job from some Leonin whores.
>>43731225
IT SHALL BE DONE!
Id try to learn blue&white magic and cast Knowledge Pool and some protection spells, along with alteration to make myself seem more powerful.
Find the U/R artifact legend that wizards refuses to print
Assuming I can still Planeswalk, I go find Zeltretch and tell him about Nicol Bolas. He'll probably take care of it because pranking a dragon would be incredibly satisfying for him.
After that, I can probably just go on a Multiversal Road Trip. Next stop: Earth where catgirls are real.
I can't imagine what is on the Magic wiki that would be of interest to him - maybe the comprehensive rules, idk? In any case, nothing too catastrophic, so it doesn't seem all that bad to just... cooperate with the guy. If I display any amount of cleverness / flattery / subservience I'm sure I can convince Bolas that it's more convenient to keep me as an independently motile minion rather than a brain in a jar relaying wiki pages. He seems a bit low on planeswalker thralls anyway.
>>43732440
Why go that low? Go get something along the lines of TTGL/Demonbane or make friends with the Xeelee. A big lizard with wings really can't fight either of those, regardless of his magic.
>>43735343
Have fun on Nekopara Earth.
>>43735831
Or when the shit hits the fan, pic related.
>>43728438
>>But you have no idea how to use magic and now Nicol Bolas is hunting you down.
>>Oh yeah about that last one... You can access the official wiki for Magic at any time. He wants that intel.
What do you want to know boss?
Find eugine, warn him of everything before it happens through access to the wiki and genre savyness. Fuck up bolas, retire in peace.
>>43737302
>comparing TTGL and Demonbane to a mid tier at best mecha
It's like you don't even PIERCE THE HEAVENS.
>>43731304
>doing anything with Phyrexian oil
it's a pity PWs can't be compleated since you'd fit right into the Porcelain Legion
>>43728438
>Land in Dominaria
>Learn spells that protect me
>Join nearest group of paladins for protection
>Eventually become obsessed with justice
>Become Esper colored judge
>Bolas finds me
>Being ancient being, able to resist most spells
>Forced to trap entire plane in nether void
>Everyone suffers for all committed some crime
>Bolas trapped for all eternity due to 25,000 years of injustice
>MFW I'm now judment given form, moving form plane to plane dealing harsh justice
i would just join the boros legion, and hope that when Bolas shows up he gets stopped
>>43739645
>Not wanting to play the national anthem while you fight the dragon.
>Not wanting a good fight, but instead a boring stomp.
>>43728438
Step one: Blue.
Step two: Black.
Step three: RUN AND HIDE
Become an artificier and find a qt cat wife
Look for the sword of fire and ice.
>>43744313
It's not a legendary artifact, so it's not like you can't make one.
>>43735007
You would need things that reduce toughness, becausedat ass too fat
>>43744681
I think he's going to need the toughness if he's shrunk down and being fucked in the ass by a giant dragon.
I can't believe you just made me fucking type that.
>>43728438
Go chill with Elspeth and not!Hades, learn magic from the two of them, maybe take up some artifact tinkering
![38[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/y3pwIvz.jpg "38[1].jpg")