![1445550640194[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/K6mx3kQ.jpg "1445550640194[1].jpg")
Hear ye, hear ye! I call to order a disturbing meeting of the Mages' Guild. All persons of magical ability assemble if this concerns you!
I've got some disturbing news for you all, this week - There's a new guild trying to set up shop in the city. Normally, this wouldn't be a big deal. Hell, new guilds pop up all the time. This one, however, claims that the Mages' Guild is old hat. They're calling themselves the University for Magical Studies, and they've been advertising all over the place with papers and displays of power to the local nobles. I know how I would deal with this, but this is a matter for the council, not just for one person. How do you all suggest we handle this? Are we going to go on our own publicity campaign, or are we going to challenge them to some sort of wizarding duel?Welcome to the Mages' Guild. Pick a name and join in! Conflicts are resolved with d20s when needed, or with playing it out. When the thread dies on /tg/, we keep it going on http://archive.4plebs.org/tg. For additional resources, please visit http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Mage%27s_guild
>>43625268
I say we challenge them to a rumble, a high stakes wizard poker game, or a game of chicken with our buildings. Winner stays, loser leaves.
>>43625268
DEEEAAAATH!
I don't see the problem. Maybe the competition will get people here to do something actually productive.
>>43625334
Adam. I want you to think about what you just said for a moment.
>>43625268
We can do both? Like, hype the fuck out of a fight with news and shit and wreck them in the duel.
>>43625334
Oh, geez, I'm sorry. Teaching kids how to use magic so that they can get jobs that require that kind of magic is obviously not productive!
>>43625268
VENDETTA!
>>43625399
DEEEAAATH?
>>43625399
>>43625422
No no, Wizards poker. it's like you ideas but we're less likely to actually hurt people.
>>43625387
Hey glug
>>43625268
It's the druids again! Damn hippies. First they take my front lawn and now my guild? I will NOT stand for this! These youngsters need to be put in their place! READY THE WARP CANNONS!
>>43625452
VENDETTA!
>>43625458
>Jill sighsand casts ghost sounds to make it sound like they're powering up the warp cannons
Warp cannons ready, Dean Enjus.
>>43625452
DEEEAAATH!
>>43625469
Simpsons did it.
>>43625492
Oh hey Pierre I also wanted to ask you, have you seen secrutus around? I can't seem to find him.
>>43625452
Hey Jill. Also, I think it would be better if we have a competition between our Heads and whatever they have.
>>43625469
>>43625492
Oh look, these two.
>>43625352
I'm just saying, better this than just running rampant.
>>43625387
I'm not sure I understand.
>>43625490
Yes. YES! Let's see how those useless wastes of magic like being bombarded by rays of distilled insanity!
FIRE!
>>43625504
That reminds me. I need to appoint a teacher to the Simpsonian studies.
>>43625533
Yeah like I said. Rumble, poker, or chicken.
>>43625547
>>43625504
VENDETTA!
>Waves a pitchfork
>Where did she get a pitchfork?
>>43625547
Well what you just said is that I'm not doing anything productive.
>>43625556
No no no, that relies on chance, not skill.
>>43625504
Kill them. Kill them all.
>>43625579
VENDETTA!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9_5Y5MvxGwU
>>43625554
>More ghost sounds as they fire and tiny screams of "my leg!" and oh god my mouth was open!" are heard
>>43625567
I see someone "forgot" to take their pills again.
>>43625573
Uhhh no, that's all skill.
>>43625579
What? t-that doesn't seem right......
>>43625547
DEEEAAATH!
>Pierre has run off to the lighthouse atop the guild
>>43625573
Ignoring the rest of that for now, no I didn't say that. I'm not sure why you think I did.
>>43625616
There's two ways to deal with a rival guild. Either we give them legitimacy by not treating them as vermin, or we wipe them out as an example. In the long run, wiping them out brings the smallest loss in life.
>>43625616
Shut up meg.
>>43625655
I though you where a pyromaniac not a quotamancer.
>>43625649
Or OR yjust here me out master, We challenge them to a contest of skill and kick them out.
Dohoho! What a fine example of what the lowest members of our society can bring given a little opportunity! I do declare, it is a fine thing that the University was founded, would you all care to make an appearance at our charity banquet? It's in your best interest if the other patrons can see how badly you're all struggling, brings out the most donations!
>>43625616
Ahhh, such a wonderful sound. Problem solved everyone! Wake me up when the flower lickers start getting antsy again.
>>43625616
Look, they are trying to say that they are stronger than us in the magical arts. We need a competition that shows we are stronger, not more skilled.
>>43625629
You said that a competition will get people here to do something ACTUALLY productive. Since I am one of the people here, ergo, you said I have not been doing anything productive.
>>43625742
Aw, are you lost child?
>>43625747
Yes Dean Enjus.
>>43625748
Bah! then we play chicken. that's mostly strength.
>>43625742
..................My god it's like looking in a mirror.
>>43625726
By doing that, it gives the impression that they have the strength to negotiate.
>>43625748
It wasn't that there isn't ANYONE here doing anything productive, just that for the most part there isn't anyone.
>>43625742
...I dislike him slightly less this way.
>>43625795
But I don't want to kill them!
>>43625782
Dohoho! Look Incindius, this poor underpriveleged sea elf could be a prime subject! We could fix his impaired vision, look at how he must be suffering! This poor oppressed lad can not be allowed to *ahem* flounder among the dregs of society!
>>43625792
>>43625816
Dohoho? What have we here? Oh goodness, have they been withholding your access to cosmetic charms? Nobody should have to live so overweight! Join us at the university charity banquet and we'll get you fixed right up! Even get you a real magical education, like pachinko sorcery!
>>43625797
What's this, security?
>>43625797
Hey guys, it's me! ...You know... Nicholl? I've been working here for months...
Anyway, I've got the solution to this little quarrel! I've seen the advertisements these competitors have spread around town. And let me tell you, they are some piece of work! Top quality parchment, brightly coloured ink, fancy designs... Boy, those really are something.
"How do we compete with that?" I hear you say! Well, I think we should switch to semi-absorbent parchment! This new kind of parchment is more expensive, sure, but it doesn't absorb all shades of red an purple like regular parchment does. That way the colours won't mix as much and we can draw a sharper image!
Sharper image means a better advertisement! A better advertisement means we will stay on top of the food chain!
Now I have submitted this idea many times in the idea-box, but I'm afraid there might be someone among us who is conspiring against higher-resolution-advertising (HRS in short.) This is of course a grave problem, since this means someone is single handedly putting the mages guild down...
Also, we're out of paper clips.
>>43625876
And that goodwill is rapidly fading.
>>43625792
No that's guts. Not strength.
>>43625797
Fine fine.
>>43625876
Oh, so you're telling me you're not lost? Well, I really think you should. Get lost, that is. I have perfect 20/20 vision provided for me by one of the most rapidly growing Corporations. Fluctui Auxilium. You may have heard of us providing supportive backing for many Fransian nobles and having a large amount of malls, stores, and restaurants spread about Tiji and Fransia. I myself am in perfectly healthy condition.
>Tears off his shirt and reveals glistening muscles
Also, though I am not rich that is a personal choice of mine. And you can very well see if I give you a tour of the Department I manage you can see we are very clearly by no means in a financial pinch.
>>43625921
AGAIN!? What are we doing with those paper clips. Gah, I'll let my boss know that we need another shipment.
>>43625876
I'm not fat. Hell vex tries to make sure I eat enough
>Beat
though that could be just so she so can drug me...
>>43625988
Boooooo
>>43625921
Hello.... Uhhh You helped me with paper work a few times, right?
>>43625988
Oh, forgot to put on my new nametag.
>>43626065
Jill, why are you booing at me?
>>43625988
Oh, I see. One of the ooold crowd. Well, I'm pleased to inform you that the University only employs the absolute best in faculty, and accepts only the most promising students! You've got nothing to worry about! No tension at the office for you, my good man! No troubling career choices to make, no need to ponder the secret to our success, no cause to wonder the reason for our exceptional employee satisfaction rates! Rest easy Sir, you're completely free to continue this *ahem* life you've built for yourself, and off the sweat of your own back, no less!
>>43625937
Oh, no need to fret my good sir! We at the academy understand that not all of us can have the benefit of a well-managed trust fund growing up! Why, we would be happy to provide you with a much more lucrative means of employment! Why, just this morning we decided to employ more stable hands to maintain our fleet of luxury carriages!
>>43626065
Well, it's perfectly good and well to be happy with your body image no matter what the scales say1 Now, I certainly didn't hear a no regarding our pachinko sorcery department!
>>43626088
You used to like fun.
>>43626097
What the hell is a Pachinko?
>>43625795
Urge to kill, raising....
>>43626113
Do it.
>>43626084
Aha, no, that'd probably be Merriam. You see, I SUPPLY the paper. And of course the entire rich and diverse spectrum of office utensils. Ink, candles, the aforementioned paper clips...
It's quite a crucial part of this guild, as you can probably imagine.
I talked to you about the importance of proper quill storage the other day.
>>43626189
Right right.... sorry it just we where out of dart and we-
>Cough
err you don't wanna hear about that.
>>43626134
Right!
>>43625988
Don't you worry, I've been conducting an extensive investigation about the paper clip consumption in this guild.
I can't tell you much yet, but I can assure you, once I get to the bottom of this, paper clip malpractice can be reduced up to 13 percent!
>>43626222
>>43626097
>Snicker
No I don't think she the brain power needed to master such a complex class of magic and I don't know what you except, she's only a witch.
>>43626097
Hm, let me try and guess, you and all your little buddies at this "university" are second rate magic users that all got passed up on job opportunities by magic users that have graduated from the Mages' Guild and you all made your little group to get back at us. How correct am I? I'm not a seer so I doubt I hit the bulls-eye, but I'm pretty sure I hit pretty damn near close.
>>43626113
Sorry, I'm in business mode right now. And Pachinko is the Jisoan form of pin-ball.
>>43626244
That's wonderful Nicholl. Also, if it's not too much trouble can you have someone make an updated list of all the goods the Fluctui Auxilium needs to supply for this month?
>Looks like pic related but he has already torn his shirt off
>>43626272
Dohoho! Oh come now Gill, you can't just look down upon the lower classes like that, they need every opportunity for advancement!
>>43626283
Oh please m'boy, I'm sure you're quite talented in the magical practices of yesteryear! No shame to be had in knowing how to maintain an antique, there's plenty of market opportunities!
>>43626283
That sounds stupid.
>>43626272
You misspelled Sorceress.
>>43626372
Oh, no, you don't understand, I am a man of all times. Why, I make new spells everyday, kid. Why, I can show you one I made just yesterday if you wish. Also, I would very much like to see the person who is in charge of Oozemancy at your sorry excuse of a school.
>>43626374
Pachinko machines are mostly found in Jisoan gambling establishments.
>>43626097
I'm perfectly happy with my current job, thank you very much. Seeing as I'm here at the guild as a joint position, you're not even managing to insult them by saying that.
>>43626437
It doesn't sound any less stupid
>>43626437
Ooooozemancy?! Dohohohoho! How quaint! Gill, look at this young lad, he hasn't heard the news about goopomancy!
>>43626372
Just look at her Bierre, she's liable to bring all the others down. I mean just look at those slutty blue tattoos. it's obvious she was the harbinger for some destructive force.
>>43626467
>She titters
He hasn't? My word has he been living in a cave?
>>43626488
Dohoho! Oh come now, they say the same about the pestilent whores of the southern sands!
>>43626517
that's because it's true my good fellow.
>>43626460
Yeah, well, it's a thing for sad old cubicle workers.
>>43626467
Goopomancy? Bring out the goopomancer. We'll one v one. On Rust. No magic items. One school of magic only.
>>43626222
Yes. Wait... what?
>>43626283
Of course sir, that goes without saying! Punctuality makes the guild go round. (I've come up with that little wordplay myself)
>>43626557
Nicholl, have you seen what happened to my portal requisition forms? I swear I ordered more of them last week.
>>43626557
Ha, a fine saying! I like it. Punctuality makes the guild go round. Well, keep up the good work Nicholl.
Rolled 8 (1d20)
>>43626488
>>43626517
>>43626555
..........{Sightless Eyeballus}
Rolled 1 (1d20)
>>43626677
>Dismissus Chortalus!
Dohohoho!
>>43626555
Right.Ignore >>43626677
Have we come to a conclusion on what to do about the new guys trying to steal our thunder and students?
>>43626701
>The dismissive chortle turns into a girlish shriek as his eyes melt from his head
>>43626714
>You can hear Pierre faintly screaming from the lighthouse
deeeᴀᴀᴀtH!
Rolled 20 (1d20)
>>43626677
What's this? Curses?
>>43626719
Bierre!
>>43626734
I MEANT WHAT KIND OF DEATH! WE'RE MAGES, WE'VE GOT LIKE 12 DIFFERENT KINDS PER PERSON HERE!
>>43626755
deeeᴀᴀᴀtH!
Right, I'm not dealing with this.
>Teleports out.
>>43626773
YOU NEED TO BE SPECIFIC WITH THE KIND OF DEATH YOU WANT!
>>43626749
>>43626701
AHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHA!
>>43626821
>A low rumbling is heard as the lighthouse gathers mana
deeeᴀᴀᴀtH!
>>43626714
No, but some of the pricks have shown up. They say goopomancy should replace oozemancy. Ridiculous. Oozemancy is something I have made and is only 185 years old.
I say we have one v one's against our respective counterparts. On Rust. No magic items. One school of magic only.
>>43626654
Heavens no! I try my best not to intervene with important paperwork, it's really not my field of work.
Is your document classification system all right? Should I supply the multi coloured, extra large classification labels? I think I should. Proper classification can save lives, I swear! Yes I will supply them, hang on!
>>43626714
A conclusion, no, but a step in the right direction if you ask me! Yes sir! If we invest in the semi-absorbing parchment that is! ... You know, for the advertisements? Should I explain it again...?
>>43626842
I bet they don't even have a necromancy department.
>>43626846
Might as well
>>43626836
Oh... That's happening.
>>43626749
>Bashes the curse aside and runs over to bierre
>>43626719
My friend! Are you okay?
>>43625268
My my, have things changed since I was last here. How ironic that I take a long sojourn to the Plane of Pointless Bulletins and come back here to find everything so ... organised.
Have we sorted out that bloody buffet cart yet?
>>43626888
>The DOHOHOs have petered out into snobbish sobbing, which eventually fades
>Bierre has died. RIP, we bierrely knew ye
>>43626905
What buffet cart?
Rolled 18 (1d20)
>>43626880
deeeᴀᴀᴀtH!
>Rolling for aiming death beam
>>43626846
So, do we actually have these papers or can we just have the Fluctui Auxilium make the papers for us?
>>43626880
Or a pyromancy department, or any other actual school of magic in any case.
>>43626905
Well, it's easier for me to work with in my department.
>>43626920
Hm, guess he couldn't handle competition.
>>43626920
Y-you killed him!
>Gill runs away
>>43626970
And neither could she. Kids these days don't know how deadly it gets once you step into the competitive world.
>>43626968
And they call themselves mages.
>>43626940
Holy Shit
>>43626880
Well, you see, the thing about semi-absorbing parchment is that it absorbs most colours of ink (green, blue, ect.) entirely into it's fibre, but it only partially absorbs red and purple, which makes them reaaaaally pop! They don't melt away with the other colours, so you get a sharper image!
If we invest in this parchment, we could make advertisements like the kingdom hasn't seen in a lifetime! Heck, I might even be so bold to suggest pamphlets!... Ok maybe we'll wait with the pamphlets, let's not get carried away.
Stupid, stupid! You knew you shouldn't have started about the pamphlets! God I'm an idiot!!
>>43626970
>Pierre wanders back in.
Hah! Your building doesn't have legs! How's it supposed to dodge artillery if it doesn't have legs? Stupid.
>>43626921
You'll be happy to know, I've dealt with it. Decisively. Except the ones out of the building.
Rolled 17 (1d20)
>>43626940
>Rolling on behalf of the rest of her guild
>>43627010
True upstarts if you ask me. I bet the boy had never even been slapped before.
>>43627024
Bravo. But I have a feeling they would have all run away with their tails between their legs if they were slapped across the face.
>>43627023
Pamphlets? That is bold. But I like your moxy! So, how much funding would you all need?
>>43627094
>DEEEAAATH
>>43627010
Yeah, I've no idea why they gave me a set of keys to that. Extremely irresponsible.
>>43627098
Did someone actually show up and try to say they were superior to us?
>>43627024
That's... good, I guess.
>>43627023
Uh...
>>43626968
The semi-absorbent parchment is not yet a fact in this guild. But if you ask me, they are crucial in this battle against our competitors! The help from Fluctui Auxilium would be much appreciated, of course!
Now, if the parchment is purchased and these advertisements go into production, what we also need is a SLOGAN! Something to really show who's the leading force in magical education.
>>43627024
holy shit..... I ....I just killed a dude.
>>43627180
For the record, I've never made fun of your weight or tattoos. Just saying. Eyes melting doesn't look like a particularly enjoyable way to go, then again short of sexual exhaustion there aren't many that are.
>>43627126
I didn't know it did that.
>>43627131
Yes. Those two did.
>>43627138
Hm, well, that's something for someone else to handle. Not me. I don't make slogans only say 'em.
>>43627180
You get used to it. It's a dog eat dog world.
>>43627235
I'm not fat!
>>43627272
Don't say that sort of thing around duke.
>>43627287
Which I repeat, I have never claimed you were. Might want to go drink this one down if it's your first.
>>43627247
Oh yeah. That was about the first thing we bought after rebuilding the hall.
>>43627313
No..... No, not my first.
>>43626905
Geiron you old coot! How many years has it been? 136,798 I believe. Come and sit with me my first pupil and tell me what you've been up to all these years.
>>43627313
Oh, cool. Would've been nice to know that.
>>43627272
Well I guess that they've been taken care of?
>>43627339
Well, I'm sure he was a right cunt.
>>43627390
Department heads have keys, if you make a good enough case to yours it should be a good time.
>>43627098
>>43627272
Y-you like the pamphlets idea? Oh god... I m-mean, yes of course! The funding would only be 34% of our current parchment budget! Which I can assure you, will pay for itself!
Ah yes, a slogan... Well, I've had some ideas myself, but I'm uh... Still working on them. I'm sure this great guild of great minds will have some ideas about a slogan!
>>43627180
Y-... You want me to get some p-paper towels? ... You know... For the blood...
>>43627425
it was like a worse version of you.
>>43627471
...Define worse.
>>43627309
Right.
>>43627390
Yep.
>>43627449
Hm, not bad at all! And I'm sure some of the illusionists can think of something pleasant sounding to captivate people.
>>43627425
Oh I don't want keys. Just wish I hadn't been surprised we had a giant laser.
>>43627549
That's good to know.
>>43627506
Okay picture a non catfolk version of you. now increase the condescension levels to plaid.
>>43627549
Thanks glug.
>>43627449
Uhhh n-no no, just let the cleaning staff take care of it...
>>43627612
Well, in case the remnants of that school of brats gather and try to do what they did again, what sort of ideas do you have in mind?
>>43627696
I find it doubtful we don't have defenses in place for that but my suggestion is a bunch of zombies.
>>43627614
No need to thank me, it would be rude of me to say such words in front of Duke.
>>43627753
Nice. Zombies are simple and usually do the job.
>>43627614
And all you did was scoop his eyes out? That's worth at least a shanking in the liver.
>>43627612
Oh yeah, we don't use it much because it renders the hall immobile for a bit unless everyone manually recharges it.
>>43627785
Well it wasn't suppose to kill him, just render him blind until he got rid of the curse.
>the owl lands on a mage's shoulder
Why not attempt to settle this diplomatically and..merge the University into this Guild?
>>43627895
Too late, blew it the fuck up.
>>43627824
Ohhhhhh. Well. Gross.
>>43627914
It would turn his eyes into pinballs.
>Cough.
>>43627895
Uhh a bit late for that. Pierre nuked them with lightning.
>>43627914
..oh my.
This is a bit out of hand.
>>43627895
Tch, and show our bellies to the competitors? Plus the way they act they would have stomped on our offer with no remorse.
>>43627914
>>43627945
>>43627949
Eh, they sounded like dicks anyway.
>>43627753
>>43627782
Zombies? Yes ok, we could go with zombies. Or, OR... We could establish our brand throughout the world, investing in more publicity and raise awareness of the mages guilds excellent reputation.
We are the original mages guild, if we approach this the right way, people won't trust knock offs.
>>43627973
Total dicks.
>>43627984
So, I think our course of action is clear:
First, a SLOGAN! I'm sure everybody is willing to put their heads together and come up with the greatest slogan ever!
Second: we wait for the new semi-absorbent parchment to arrive and put together a team of designers to shape the advertisements and pamphlets!
Now, any ideas?
>>43627973
I don't really think incinerating them was neede though.
>>43628081
The Mages' Guild: You should see what we did to the other guys.
>>43628081
sorry, why do we need a slogan?
>>43627984
True. Or we could mix the two every once in a while, relying mostly on the PR department of course. We need to flex our muscles every once in a while or else we will get too many upstarts.
>>43628081
I think of something if need be.
>>43628103
Oh come on, if they're real mages they'll have contingencies, and if anyone cares about them they'll get those contingencies running quick enough for it to be a speed bump at best.
>>43628162
Still.
>>43627387
I've gone back and forth through not only our time, but also realms and planes where time flows differently or not at all, so many times that I've entirely lost track of how long it's been.
As forwhat I've been up to? Well, it's quite a story. Let me summon a chair and begin a 10F dimensional narrative.
>>43628121
For marketing of course! A proper brand needs a proper slogan, a great brand needs a great slogan!
>>43628133
How about we get the zombies to spread around the word of our brand? Maybe some outfits?
>>43628120
I like this. I think we have a winner. Anyone else in favour for this as our new slogan?
>>43628320
I see.....
>She backs away slowly.
>>43628234
We had to prove a point, didn't we?
Besides, it was Conspierre who blew them up.
>>43628320
Oh gods no. No zombies. We're not a necromancy guild, we're the mages' guild. Can't advertise with just zombies.
>>43628320
Eh, zombies wouldn't be good for PR. But yeah, that's a good enough slogan. We can have golems spread our brand.
>>43628350
Well, we've been running strong for ages now. But are people really aware of what we do? And if they do, what do they picture when they think of the guild?
Old men rotting away at their books?
Hags brewing stinking potions?
No! We can't have that! That's not what attracts young folks! They should think excitement! Giant lazers! Maybe a demon or two!
And what ties this all together? A great slogan!
Now picture this: Little Johnny just helped his dad...
Are you listening? ...
Little Johnny just helped his dad with the crops, and is rewarded with a piece of copper. He goes into town, looking to spend it. And what does he see? A golem wearing our merch, selling bright posters! Poster made from glorious semi-absorbent parchment, with bright colours showing:
"THE MAGES' GUILD''
"You should see what we did to the other guys."
And you can bet that little Johnny will buy that poster! Who wouldn't? And he will hang it over his bed and every single night he will stare at it, dreaming of becoming a mage in the one and only mages' guild!
And that, that is how we deal with our competition!
>>43628380
>>43628388
Yes but aren't golems a bit last year? They are efficient, I agree, but I hear elemental beings are all the rage.
>>43628559
A troupe of all three. Problem solved. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to go see a man about a horse.
>>43628528
The necromancy department doesn't need any help recruiting. We get enough edgy teenagers as it is.
>>43628528
Ah, what a beautiful image. Sounds like something I hold close to my heart.
>>43628559
Elemental beings, eh? Why, that sounds like a job that could be filled by oozes!
>>43628528
>Sprints away at full speed
>>43628632
...
D-did I say something?...Or is it just because she's still bother by that guy she killed?
>>43628677
Truth be told I have no idea.
>>43628677
She's just a huge hypocritical bitch. Always off about the evils and unregulated magic and how we have to be kept away from society at large
>>43629134
But... we're not unregulated.
>yawns
What are we doing, what are we saying, I just woke up..
>>43629349
we kinda are.
>>43629393
We regulate ourselves.
>>43629393
>>43629401
We are mostly unregulated.
>>43629393
>>43629401
>>43629419
..Is this seriously what I woke up for?
>>43629426
Yes.
>>43629419
While you have a valid point there's no one who CAN regulate us besides each other.
>>43629458
Eugh.
>falls onto Veilhex
>>43629506
Hey hey get off of me!
>Shoves Ronan off
>>43629526
>he falls forward onto his face
So tired.
>>43629554
Jeez, what has you in a daze?
>>43629561
Attempted..to create a high concentration of energy..two..high concentrations of mana energy.
It didn't work. At all.
I need something better..
>>43629577
Well, go get some sleep in a bed then.
>>43629586
Can't..must..finish experiment.
Eugh.
Lift me up please.
>>43629636
No.
>>43629643
Veilhex why do you bully me like this.
>>43629670
I think you know why.
>>43629705
Is this still about me appearing by Obsidia? I didn't even do anything to her.
Or is it about something else?
>>43629738
It's about the thing I glared at you for shortly after that.
>>43629754
Oh, yeah, that..sorry.
Jeez, your glares are damn scary.
Where the hell did you learn to be so scary?
>>43629774
I could tell you, but that would just scare you more.
>>43629797
You are a scary guy sometimes Veilhex.
>>43629827
I have to be, given the students I teach.
>>43629846
k.
Well im gonna sleep now..
>falls asleep
>>43629862
...
Huh.
>>43629874
>>43629874
>A hole rips open into a portal and this being walks through it, the portal closing with an audible clap
Hello Veilhex.
>>43629929
Uh... hi?
>>43629974
What? Oh, woopsy, I forgot to change.
>Well shit, it's Lurco!
⌠What's going on man?⌡
>>43630004
Not much. I didn't recognize you like that. What's up with you?
>>43630079
⌠Just got back from a meeting.⌡ ⌠Hm, was there a meeting here today?⌡
>>43630090
Seems so. Another guild popped up and we had an emergency meeting to figure out how to deal with them.
It turns out the guild has a giant death laser.
>>43630104
⌠Huh, the giant death laser?⌡ ⌠Yeah, ya'll have one.⌡ ⌠Well, that sounds like a more troublesome topic than my meeting.⌡
>>43630104
Good times.
>>43630174
What was your meeting about?
>>43630178
Says the man who fired it.
>>43630184
⌠Which planet was to be converted into energy.⌡ ⌠Don't worry, it was another universe.⌡
>>43630225
Oh. Was it inhabited?
>>43630202
So clearly I'm the authority on the matter!
>>43630257
⌠. . .Describe uninhabited.⌡
>>43630278
Was there anyone there to complain if they survived?
>>43630258
I suppose.
>>43630295
⌠Well...⌡ ⌠Seeing as how it was a 100% chance of no survival...⌡ ⌠No?⌡
>>43630333
Ok, were there any civilizations or nomadic tribes on the planet?
>>43630357
⌠. . .ʏes.⌡
>>43630420
That counts as inhabited.
>>43630432
⌠. . .How's Obsidia?⌡
>>43630452
You're changing the subject.
Which means you know you fucked up and are running damage control.
>>43630464
⌠Look man, I'm not the same person in different universes.⌡ ⌠I have a different way of thinking there and different morals.⌡ ⌠Can we just get past that?⌡ ⌠Like, what does Obsidia think of adventuring?⌡
>>43630520
you dun goofed.
>>43630520
...
Well she told me she hadn't thought about it very much. Which means either she had no idea it was an option or she has come to a conclusion but refuses to tell me.
>>43630543
Are you even officially a member of this guild?
>>43630553
no.
so what?
>>43630543
⌠Oi, don't you go giving me reasons to have a BONE to pick with you!⌡
>>43630553
⌠Okay, well, would it be cool if Ereplacs asked?⌡
Rolled 12 (1d20)
>>43630564
It... means you can't be in the main meeting hall while there is a meeting going on.
Get out.
>Roll to bluff
>>43630575
I'm not sure she'd be more forthcoming to him. If she actually has made a decision, that is.
Rolled 12 (1d20)
>>43630575
your gonna have to try harder then that, /bonehead./
>>43630581
>rolling to not care
>if fails, he cares a small bit
>>43630600
⌠Hm, who do you think she would answer to?⌡
>>43630606
⌠That wasn't very humerus.⌡
Rolled 1 (1d20)
>>43630606
>Rolling to glare hard enough for Sans to care.
>>43630619
I don't know. She'd probably tell that bard of hers if he asked and she HAD an answer.
>>43630638
You should study illusions, makes it easier. I recommend fearsome visage.
>>43630619
sorry, i just dont have the /guts/ for it.
>>43630638
>he fails so hard that sans just stares at him
wow.
that was bad.
>Raul walks into the guild hall, takes a seat in one of the chairs, and glances around before calmly asking...
Why is there a skeleton in here?
>>43630663
Racist. The proper term is the less flesh-enabled. Check your soft tissue privilege, you mongoloid!
Rolled 18 (1d20)
>>43630663
I can't get rid of him or force him to leave.
>>43630658
I could try...
>>43630660
>Rolling to HATE SANS HARD ENOUGH HE CAN FEEL IT
>>43630663
why are you a racist.
or do you just not have the /bones/ to handle me?
>>43630684
>raises his hand for a high five
>>43630638
⌠Huh?⌡ ⌠Really?⌡
>>43630660
⌠Yep.⌡ ⌠Hm, I would offer you a muffin but I'm afraid it would just go right through you.⌡
>>43630663
⌠Why WOULDN'T there be a skeleton here?⌡
>>43630684
⌠Shush you tumblerina.⌡
>Tries to spray Pierre with water
>>43630703
>Return high five! The feel of Pierre's overly soft hand fills you with DETERMINATION!
>>43630735
Bite me.
>>43630698
Ooh, not bad.
Rolled 3 (1d20)
>>43630735
>Woops, forgot roll
>>43630698
woah, you look REALLY pissed off...
eheh.
eheehehehehe.
>>43630735
i guess i just can't /stomach/ it.
>>43630755
>the feeling of a skeleton bro touching his skeletal hand on your overly soft hand fills you with DETERMINATION!
Rolled 1 (1d20)
>>43630757
>DAWDGE
>>43630782
>DETERMINATION INTENSIFIES
>>43630794
>Determination was not enough. Pierre spectacularly slips and falls out a window
>>43630814
>>43630794
....geeeeeeeeeeetttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt
>he appears right in your face
duunnnkkkeedddd oooonnnnn!
>>43630782
⌠Say, do you play the tromBONE?⌡
>>43630794
>>43630814
>keks internally
>>43630859
no, i play the /bone/flute.
>>43630827
>>43630859
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRt5wZNw46U
Rolled 7 (1d20)
>>43630782
Right...
Let me make a few things very clear.
I do not like you.
You are banned from the Necromancy Department.
Every undead I have control of has standing orders to forcibly remove you if you try to enter it.
You're not an official member of the guild, and I doubt Lazarus would take it too hard if something terrible happened to you...
And I'm giving you about a day's head start before I tell my students that Every student I teach gets an automatic A+ if they can permanently stop you from ruining things for everyone, and me in specific.
>Roll for the fury of 1d20 X 100 suns level hatred
>>43630909
>he just sits on the couch looking at you
k.
>he then goes back to drinking ketchup
>>43630703
Ah, so I suppose you're an obitu, then? I must apologize for my previous remark, the guild's necromancy department is known to be somewhat... unscrupulous.
Anyways! What business do you have with our guild, then?
>>43630880
⌠Anyways.⌡
>>43630883
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=571BuZeeQjE
>>43630909
⌠Oh, Veil, what happened with Obsidia's prank counter?⌡
>>43630935
⌠He steals the ketchup and makes puns.⌡
>>43630935
..what is a oh-bee-two?
and im just here to drink ketchup and be lazy.
and fill people with determination.
>>43630942
Oh... that...
Well, a bit of fire, a little screaming, a golem or two spontaneously manifesting...
She may have overreacted to the prank slightly. But closer examination it was acid blood, so it wasn't really an overreaction because she didn't get any on her as a result of her actions.
Also, there may be a golem made of acid blood prowling the plumbing of the guild.
>>43630965
⌠. . .Cool.⌡ ⌠Did she make the golems?⌡
>>43630965
hey, dude.
wanna see something?
>hands you a pie
Rolled 8 (1d20)
>>43630999
I'm not sure Golems were her intention, but they were the result.
>>43631001
>Tries to hit Sans in the face with the pie
>>43631044
⌠Cool.⌡ ⌠But there's only one now?⌡
>>43631059
There is only one at the moment.
Rolled 18 (1d20)
>>43631044
>it hits his face but then springs back straight for veilhex
>there was a spring inside the pie
>the bastard
eheheheheheh
Rolled 7 (1d20)
>>43631084
>roll to dodge
Rolled 1 (1d20)
>>43631104
>Beckons
>>43631104
gggggggggggggggggggggeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt dunnnnnkkeeedd ooooooonnnnnn!!!
Rolled 7 (1d20)
>>43631135
SHIVERS! JEEVES! DO SOMETHING I'M GOING TO REGRET!
>A pair of skeletons move to harm Sans as violently as possible.
Rolled 17 (1d20)
>>43631074
⌠What happened to the other golem?⌡
>>43631135
>Tosses a bomb at you!
>AND HE DOES IT SO CASUALLY!
>>43631152
I flushed it into a dimension made of pure blood.
Rolled 1154 (1d20000)
>>43631151
>>43631152
>WHAT'S THIS?
>MAXIMUM DODGE
>AND THEN HE DISAPPEARS LAUGHING
Rolled 15945 (1d20000)
>>43631163
⌠Cool.⌡ ⌠Was it also an Acid Blood Golem?⌡
>>43631169
>OH NO YOU DON'T!
>>43631169
>Rounded down, that's a critfail.
>>43631194
It was indeed. I still have the exact planar coordinates to where I dropped it, though, if you want to look at it.
>Gestures at Sans
Or drop it on someone.
Rolled 1860393 (1d2000000)
>>43631194
>your attempts to catch the skeleton fills you with DETERMINATION!
>and we are totally breaking the rules here
>>43631206
>not percentus
>get away
>>43631217
⌠Nah, I don't have a big grudge against him.⌡ ⌠But he will be whipped creamed.⌡
>>43631223
>Rounded down, that is an 18
>>43631194
>And that is a 15
>All shall bow before PERCENTUS
>>43631248
Dp1: T-thanks Percentus.
Dp2: My hero~
Dp3: What a guy...
>>43631235
Well if I ever manage to get a good grip on him...
I know where to stick him.
>>43631273
⌠I would just throw him into the plane of canines.⌡
>>43631300
That would be kinda funny.
>>43631312
⌠Yeah it would.⌡
>>43631325
The question is how to catch him. He's a slippery bastard.
>>43631345
I have an idea.
>>43631345
>the owl wakes up on your shoulder
You need to match him in his ability to dodge..he exploits the dice thingy..
..Hooo...
>>43631367
I like it when people have ideas in relation to people I want to murder violently.
>>43631376
Then we'll just need to SUMMON CRITICUS HIMSELF FOR AID!
