Do people play D&D in prison?
>>43617688
Sometimes, yes.
More importantly, what did you do?
I doubt it, but more importantly, why do you ask?
What did you do this time, Anon.
>>43617688
I'm pretty sure D&D is actually contraband in American prisons.
That said, my step-dad was in prison throughout the 80s and 90s and he GMed games of his own invention.
Surprisingly often RPGs are forbidden.
And it's not because of the dice.
>>43617714
>>43617700
Guys, I haven't done anything, I swear! Im completely innocent!
>>43617735
Okay, what DIDN'T you do.
>>43617740
Break into an lgs because I saw a thread about it on here...
>>43617740
Well ok listen... you know that gas station on 5th street? People are starting to think that I'M the one who robbed it, but im totally innocent. Infact, I can tell you who actually did it if you promise you'll help clear my name.
What kind of awful prison system marks innocent pass time as contraban..
Oh wait murica
One of my buddies was in prison for a while
I started just playing rules lite stuff with him during visiting time, but eventually I ended up running a 4E game for a bunch of the inmates in the library. So two white nerds and a bunch of black felons, who had a raging hardon for paladins for some reason. Also druids.
Oh, and a Hispanic guy who was a dick-ass sorcerer.
Yup. In fact there was a story in the United States a few years back about Dungeons and Dragons books were taken from inmates because they "invoked thoughts of escape" of somesuch.
But that was only a single prison, so I doubt it's much of a problem.
>>43617779
What can and cannot be allowed into a prison is entirely up to what county and state that prison falls under. What flies in Montana is going to be different than in Florida.
Non-Americans seem to have a very hard time with how Federalism works.
>>43617785
>Real life thiefs
>Want to be paladins
i guess it must me the bling armor
>>43617805
It doesn't work
>>43617688
Yes it's pretty popular.
The problem is dice is banned (at least in North American prisons) so they have to use cards instead to generate rolls.
It takes much longer obviously, but it's doable.
>>43617805
Thats because its dumb.
>>43617805
> federalism works
Phrasing is important.
>>43617688
Yes, we've had some good threads on the subject.
You can get the books sent in to you, but you can't have dice (association with gambling), so from what I hear people make spinners or other ways to substitute rolling dice
>>43617785
How did you get cleared to go into the library to play, which I assume was not the designated visiting area?
>>43617872
I guess they have more time to play so it works out.
>>43617901
Community Service probably.
>>43617858
They were actually all pretty good Paladins. It was pretty funny to have 4 paladins arguing over what was the most good course of action, with my buddy and his ranger, and a rotating other player, often the hispanic guy and his CN pyro sorcerer.
>>43617858
>>43617879
Seems to be working pretty damned well for the US as a whole. Despite how much people bitch on the internet and what the media will tell you, life is pretty goddamn great here, and Federalism allows for the core American belief of local self-governance. We have our problems, but everybody does, it's just popular to hate on America to deflect from their own failings and because jealousy is a bitter mistress.
It allows for people in Texas to not be governed by people in New York in all but the most wide-ranging issues, allowing Texans to elect their own leaders out of the direct influence of the Federal government (the federal government cannot fire or remove a state or local official unless they have committed a federal crime) which protects their local interests more effectively than a truly centralized system.
It has its faults, but it's the best thing so far for the US.
>>43617901
Filled out paperwork, that's pretty much it.
>>43617688
No, they prefer FATAL.
Time to roll for your anal circumference, bitch.
>>43617785
>Oh, and a Hispanic guy who was a dick-ass sorcerer.
Why does this make so much damn sense.
"Awww shiieet nigga! You dropped the soap! Roll for how bad you get raped then roll for damage after getting shanked!"
>>43617936
I would make the Paladins catch criminals committing the crime the actual convect committed and see if they learn the error of there ways
>writefags make this happen
>>43617872
My uncle was in prison for a few years and his group made and used spinners.
>>43618045
Prisons are a place for captivity and punishment, not reflection and reform, anon.
>>43618045
That's actually genius
Yep. The staff considered it a constructive hobby.
>>43618043
>>43617963
Kinda late on these tasteless jokes guys
>>43618078
Thats actually true though. We've had this legal debate before. Its been settled that it IS for punishment and captivity because we've tried reform and it failed. Contain the shit and hope the punishment is severe enough they don't wanna go back.
>>43617733
Then why anon?
>>43618137
Seeing as how it seems to work for literally every other first world country, I'd be inclined to say that's just bullshit made up by the prison industry to justify their current, more profitable, model.
>>43618137
>we've tried reform and it failed
>>43618166
Do you really think people would do that? Just go into government and tell lies?
>>43617974
I can totally picture it.
>tattooed arms, shoulders, and chest covered in runic symbols and moving, scantily-clad women, as well as the names of former lovers and children
>ears are pierced with crystal earrings that focus magical power
>focus is an electronium and gold plated chain studded with turquoise that says "1824"
>Robe is a poncho
>Underneath robe is a wife-beater
>Has a high STR stat, and has considerable upper-body strength, but low endurance and a pot belly
>fast and loose with the formalities of magic-using, but still very superstitious about what forms of magic are used and general use
>outright fear of dark magic, refusing to touch cursed artifacts
>Has an animal companion, usually in the form of a large dog
>slightly an alcoholic
>puts up a big front, but will either run away from the first sign of danger or melodramatically charge in headfirst regardless of the danger level, depending on the day and if any women are present
>tries to fuck anything that moves, and succeeds more often that he really should
>Constantly makes fun of the rest of the party, but still considers them friends and will stick his neck out for them
>Has like thirty goddamn cousins, all of them able-bodied men and women who will (and have) put the hurt on anybody he tells them to
>>43618121
I'm sorry i'm late. I had to deal with a trash panda fight.
Pretty sure I've heard stories of people running dnd games for prisoners before and usually finding that, unsurprisingly, they try to be good people in the games. Maybe it's just a sort of 'this is how I wish things could be' escapism.
>>43617858
>>43617879
>>43617880
>Yuropoorans getting buttblasted
>>43618264
>that pic
Well, we DID win a culture victory like 50 turns ago.
>>43618245
When you got to wait years to leave spending your time playing pretend suddenly becomes less dumb.
>>43618245
Regular citizens play 2edgy4me kender and actual murders play LG Paladins. Life's kinda funny somtimes
>>43617688
Often. In American prisons, once they notice the prisoners are enjoying themselves, they ban the game for facile reasons.
>>43617858
>It doesn't work
Considering the EU is collapsing while half its nations play host to US military bases, I'd say it works pretty well. :^)
>>43618288
this desu senpai.
I mean, Japan pretty much is our vassal, and EU is pretty much the result of American meddling (league of nations, anyone)?
All that's left now is to just rename the UN the "United States of Terra" and that's GGNORE.
I know it's bait but fuck it.
Reason we find federalism weird is that nowhere else seems to use it. Closest equivalent is maybe the EU if that had a central authority with more, well, authority. Otherwise, we generally just have one central authority in a country and all the smaller authorities are subordinate to it.
Might be a size thing. The USA is obviously a big place so having a central, totally in control authority is maybe too unwieldy or might just be the war of independence thing putting a negative taint on the idea of being ruled by a non-local authority.
I want to play an endless campaign and not worry about paying for food or rent. Which felony should I commit so I can play PnP games in some cushy prision for life?
>>43617858
>i guess it must me the bling armor
I wanna say something, and I don't want you to take it the wrong way, but dude, that's racist.
Like in a "gets all his ideas about black people from TV" way.
>>43618245
That's probably a factor.
A lot of black folks have a strong religious upbringing, too, which might feed into the "holy warrior" thing.
Another possibility is that constant exposure to real enforcers of justice might make you prone to imagine a more perfect alternative. Combined with memories of that time you ran into a cop who genuinely WAS a really good guy, and wishing there were more like him.
>>43618314
More often than not it's because DnD groups (really any groups in general) can create a violent atmosphere, as people become attached to their characters and get pissed off when they die or get fucked over by another person. Seeing as how many people in prison are not exactly shy about using violence, that can cause some problems.
In a similar vein, most prisons that allow RPG's require they use spinners instead of dice, because the dice can be taken and used for gambling.
Even still, DnD is common in most prisons. It's only banned in those where shit happened that required its ban.
>>43618314
Why? Isn't that cruel and unusual punishment?
>>43618370
Yes, but we generally despise criminals so no one cares.
>>43618343
Well, to be honest, the states are implicitly subordinate to the fed, whether it be through the threat of reduced federal funding or what have you.
So while the federal system is not hierarchical in the traditional sense, it's simply a preemptive measure to insure that no one in the fed gets any ideas about doing local stuff.
All in all, it works pretty good. It could definitely be re-structured (the federal government drawing taxes from the states, rather than from the populace, for example), but it works well for the most part.
>>43617688
They have dungeons, but no dragons.My job here is done
>>43618349
Also a bunch of people are in there for crimes they feel justified in comitting
>>43618340
Even countries that despise the US consume our culture in obscene quantities.
>>43618349
>that's racist.
Fuck off you double nigger.
>>43618370
It's cruel, but not unusual.
>tfw the founding fathers didn't understand the nuances of boolean logic
>>43618346
Go stick up your local game store, make off with their books
>tfw you realize many criminals would become adventurers and help people rather than commit crime if the world had magic.
>>43618422
They just can't get enough of our freedom, breh.
>>43618448
If the world had D&D style cosmology and magic, it could very well be that depression wouldn't exist.After all, Crushing Despair is a spell - just cast Dispel Magic.
Magic is GOAT, anon.
>>43618437
Never noticed this. Why does that skeleton have a tongue?!
>>43618416
>They have dungeons, but no dragons.
>hoard of tobacco and cell phones.jpg
>>43618477
God damnit anon i NEED this.
>>43618477
>Humanity achieves technological apotheosis
>First thing we do is make magic real, kick mother nature and father physics in the teeth, and reset EVERYTHING.
>>43618487
It appears to have lips, too. I think it's more like a mummy of some sort.
>>43618505
Say hello to the Dying Earth. (Well, in a few billion years)
>>43618343
It's size and culture.
American democracy, unlike many other forms of democracy, very, very heavily emphasizes local governance and self-representation (it's the reason we broke off from GB and part of the reason Texas broke from Mexico). By granting local governments more power and autonomy, and granting individual states sovereignty, it allows for individuals much, much greater control over their own lives than would be the case in a truly centralized system (this is outside areas that are expressly Federal jurisdiction, such as national defense, foreign policy, and interstate commerce, where everything is centralized out of necessity). As long as states meet the basic Federal guidelines, which are voted upon by elected representatives from all states and approved by the Supreme Court, they can pretty much do whatever they want, and the Fed (and therefore other states by extension) cannot interfere with it. In exchange, the Fed doesn't have to deal with the minutiae of trying to keep the hugely varied and heterogeneous population pleased at the small-scale level, leaving them free to focus on the big-picture issues.
It means that local governments may tax their own jurisdictions in a manner most appropriate for their economic situation (Harris County, TX, which contains a large chunk of the Greater Houston Area, can tax property at a higher rate than Rusk County, TX, as Harris is largely urban while Rusk is extremely rural), while minimizing the chance that people with little understanding of local culture/necessities can come in and screw them over in favor of making themselves better.
It also allows States the legal ability to challenge the Federal government over policy decisions in a court of law, without having to resort to civil disobedience and rebellion, overseen by a (relatively) apolitical court (apolitical in the sense that they do not need to worry about reelection, therefore they can focus on doing their jobs).
It works for us.
>>43618473
Japan also has good bantz, thanks to them being our prodigy.
>>43618477
>it could very well be that depression wouldn't exist.
Cure Insanity for mental illnesses. Heart's Ease for stress disorders and similar maladies
Done.
>>43618487
How could it talk without a tongue?
>>43618525
>and granting individual states sovereignty
As far as I know, the states actually DON'T have sovereignty. They have clearly defined rights, roles, and domains, into which the federal government cannot intervene (without invitation), but they are not sovereign.
>>43618063
What are spinners and how would you make them?
>>43618538
Hes not that far off in fairness.
>>43618349
I get my ideas about african americans from television, blacks in my country are completely different.
>>43618577
Like a wheel of fortune, but the arm is in the center and it spins rather than the wheel.
>>43618580
Japan is never wrong.
>>43618564
>butthurt amerifat - the image
>>43618577
Like a dreidel, but with more sides.
>>43618585
Eh, so long as you're conscious of it -- TV is a funhouse mirror that distorts the hell out of stuff.
>>43618585
I heard they want to be called black people again because almost none of them are from Africa. Which sounds sensible to me.
>>43618518
>Say hello to the Dying Earth
Is that a setting? I keep getting hippy shit when I google it.
>>43618607
>Swedish people don't have eyebrows
>>43618607
Weeb please.
>>43618622
Google Jack Vance.
>>43618610
>anal pained yuropoor - the post
>Like a dreidel, but with more sides
That's not a spinner, that's a top.
>>43618564
They are sovereign beneath the Fed. They technically exist as self-governing states that "pay into" the Federal system, and are sovereign in the sense that they derive their legitimacy from their own people and are recognized as the supreme law of the land AS LONG AS they do not infringe upon Federal law or undertake Federal roles like national defense. It is this reason that the Fed cannot remove State officials who have not broken Federal law or dissolve/create new States, as States are voted upon and created by their own people and then approved by Congress.
Honestly, it's a hotly-contested issue that's really complex, but at the end of the day it boils down to "States are subordinate to the Fed, but have a damned long leash."
>that pic
>FREEDOM_BONER.jpeg
>>43618607
>at least Swedish people don't have eyebrows.
>>43618623
I think he meant spines, because of how they're letting their country go to shit before the rest of Europe can.
>>43618623
>>43618626
Why are gooks the best.
>>43618610
>butthurt amerifat - the image
Care to point out any wrong info in that image?
>>43618607
>I know you have weapons "laser beam." Give it to us to complete Gundam.
Is this guy serious?
>>43618622
It's the most /tg/ setting around, ourtside of maybe 40k.
It's not written out explicity, but the stories imply that in our future, scientists contact vastly powerful extradimensional entities and through a lot of wheeling and dealing, magic becomes a thing.
Aeons later, mages rule the world, and the sun is flickering like a lamp about to gutter out.
>>43618538
Japan is racist as fuck. And that's not even taking into account American cultural influence. It's part and parcel of being an island nation that didn't let anyone in too far.
>>43618639
Well, the official "definition" of sovereignty would be an entity that is not subject to any higher authority. Since the states are subject to federal law, and are involuntarily part of the union, they are not truly sovereign.
>but at the end of the day it boils down to "States are subordinate to the Fed, but have a damned long leash."
This is the best way of putting it, and it's honestly for the best.
>>43618493
shit, good point, forgot to account for the yakuza full back tattoos
>>43618626
Shit son. Korea dropping the bombs.
>>43618661
Most egregious one is probably "most Europeans don't believe in Jesus Christ" but even the rest is tendencious at best.
>>43618597
That sounds pretty complicated, anon. How would it be made? I would take my chances with toilet-paper dice and squish them up and toss them in the toilet if anyone got suspicious. I've always wondered how many alternatives to dice can be made.
>>43618674
They needed magic to explain why the Sun hadn't eaten the entire inner system during its red giant phase.
>>43618264
>buttflustered Amerifat taking bait
topkek spaz
>>43618696
>tendentious
Yeah, it's pretty weak stuff.
>We give more money in foreign aid than aaaaaaanyone!
*cough*military aid to Israel*cough*
>>43618685
The only flag on the moon is white.
>>43618706
Start with an analog clock.
>>43618662
...well, Japan is aiming on building actual functioning Gundams in the near future.
They're actually constructing a life-size Gundam statue.
whats going on in here guys?
>>43618696
Europe is the most atheistic place in the world. You could call that hyperbole.
The bit about the Falklands is just wrong. They're British. Her people are British. There have never been any Argie scum there.
>>43618716
Even after that, we give more in dollars in charitable foreign aid than any other country on Earth.
>>43618706
>How would it be made?
For a "d8" you'd:
Take a sheet of paper.
Draw lines from the center of each side through the center, and from the corners through the center.
Prick a hole in the center.
Take a plastic spoon or something, use paperclip to mount it to the hole.
Flick spoon, it goes around in circles.
Wherever it lands is your roll.
If you're versed in classical geometry you can construct dN's, so long as N is a trivial number (less than 10 or so)
>>43618716
>Yeah, it's pretty weak stuff.
So is the EU.
>>43618729
American micro penises are swollen with rage because someone doesn't like them.
And prison D&D.
>>43618708
That's kind of putting the cart before the horse.
It's a group of stories about sorcery and scoundrels, the stuff about the sun is setting detail.
It's also a long, delicious series of watching terrible people get what they so richly deserve.
>>43618736
In fairness you are also bigger than any country. A smaller fraction of your money would end up being more than a larger fraction of someone elses.
>>43618709
>allowing Yuropoors to be wrong
>ever
>>43618727
>The only flag on the moon is white.
Funny, I don't recall the Frogs having a space program.
>>43618740
>American micro penises are swollen with rage because someone doesn't like them.
>starts shit-talking US
>Americans start shit-talking back
>WOW LOOK AT THE AMERICANS GETTING DEFENSIVE
>>43618757
We still give more per capita than any country.
>British "people"
>>43618761
>London
>white male
Clearly Japan needs new textbooks, this should be a Pakistani throwing acid in one girl's face and raping the other.
>>43618737
Yeah, that is actually pretty simple.
>>43618708
>One interesting side benefit for the Solar System. Even though the Earth, at a mere 1.5 astronomical units, will no longer be within the Sun’s habitable zone, much of the Solar System will be. The new habitable zone will stretch from 49.4 AU to 71.4 AU, well into the Kuiper Belt. The formerly icy worlds will melt, and liquid water will be present beyond the orbit of Pluto. Perhaps Eris will be the new homeworld.
10/10, would read a novel set in.
>>43618761
Please tell me that picture is real. I want to believe.
>>43618768
>We still give more per capita than any country.
As a percentage of GDP we rank something like 20th. In terms of 'most money given' we more than double our nearest competitors.
>>43618768
So, when someone starts teasing you, you get defensive. Why not just let it go?
>>43618761
>Funny, I don't recall the Frogs having a space program.In case you're serious, sun bleaching.
>>43618768
After a little looking the EU as a group seems to give nearly triple what you do in 2013 at least.
>>43618774
>>43618786
I hope so!
>>43618798
If you can't handle the bantz Europe you really outta just stick to your rotten cheeses and subpar grape juice and leave the shit-talking to people who've actually worked a day in their lives
>>43618768
>>43618812
And you rank number twenty in the countries that give aid per % of GDP.
>>43617688
Depends on the prison. A friend of mine spent a year in supermax pound you in the ass prison where they send really bad people (he didn't do shit, false rape accusations sure aren't a real problem are they) and they banned all sourcebooks, figurines and dice, though I guess him and some other inmates would make them from scratch occasionally.
>>43618798
Why would any self respecting American let his honor be tarnished like that?
>>43618810I know
>>43618836
We're barely trying and we're more charitable than any one of you. Maybe if you spent a little less time jerking off and a little more working, you could have a real economy without forming a barely-functional confederation, too.
>>43618728
They've had a life-size Gundam statue for about five years now. What they're working on now is an upgrade to make it move.
>>43618849
>>43618822
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xzpndHtdl9A
>>43618849
Whoops, not the pic I meant to post.
>>43618852
>We're barely trying
>>43618836
>>43618852
>>bragging about giving more money to shit third world countries
>>those people move to your country to shit it up
Yeah, great contest guys.
>>43618852
A country of 5 million potato munchers in rescission manage to give over twice the percentage you do.
>>43618869
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-bVY7tN1JZ0
>>43618886
Nobody moves here. Its too rainy and miserable.
>>43617904
Jesus Christ. I just had an idea! Cunnington university of cunning levels of cunning.
You know how you've never managed to get your group to finish a campaign, and if you claim otherwise your making shit up and don't really play RPGs at all?
Implicate your entire group in a murder/International drug smuggling circle. You'll actually have time to play the campaign without losing group cohesion after the 4th session again.
>>43617858
Or maybe it's because they're people that have actually h ad to consider morality in their lives, having been put in a situation where their moral compass was strained enough to break, and they wish to be good. D&D is escapism, after all, and there must be some respect for a man whose greatest fantasy is to be just and righteous.
>>43618349
>Like in a "gets all his ideas about black people from TV" way.
Ignorance and racism aren't the same thing. Both are normal on 4chan, but one is a correctable fault in a person, and the other is an opinion.
>>43618798
Honestly? Because it gets old quick. We kind of get sick of being the worlds punching bag and told how we're evil and horrible people, while literally everybody else does equally bad things and then claims that it's somehow justified or different, because "reasons" (Europeans and torture comes to mind. You government sent their prisoners to our prisons knowing damned well they were going to be tortured, and were more than happy to take the info we gleaned out of them in doing so).
We get sick of having to patrol the world and promote global stability in hotbed regions that could very easily break out into inter-state warfare in major power struggles, while Europe gets to sit back and armchair general our actions at every corner without bothering to pick up the slack themselves (at least to any meaningful degree) unless it's THEIR interests that are threatened, and even then it's, "SEE WE DON'T NEED YOUR HELP" as you use our infrastructure and intelligence to do so.
We get sick of getting slapped with "imperialism" and "fascists" and "greedy capitalist assholes" by Europeans from nations that we literally rebuilt from the ground up FOR FREE (Marshall Plan), and then getting slapped in the face as "not caring" when we decide to not get involved in global issues. Then, we have to clean up messes made by the UN.
We get sick of being berated for doing the job that has been forced upon us by the global community, and then criticized for NOT doing it when we're asked to stop.
We get sick of having our culture be consumed at the global level, only to have the rest of the world criticize every fucking thing about it (while they're wearing Levi's and drinking Coke or Starbucks and posting on their MacBook, of course).
We get sick of Europeans watching American media and thinking it makes them an expert on American society and cultural norms, when they often have absolutely no fucking clue what they're talking about.
It just gets old, man.
>>43617728
Yup, Although it wasn't always the case
http://www.blastr.com/2011-1-27/judge-bans-dd-prison-rules-it-could-lead-gang-behavior
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/01/27/us/27dungeons.html
>>43618886
>those people move to your country to shit it up
Move to YOUR country, you mean. Enjoy your "Syrians," Europoor. :^)
>>43618888
>twice the percentage
No one cares. A penny from a man who has two pennies is still just a penny.
>>43618933
I don't think anyone forced you to patrol anywhere. I think everyone else in the world was content to let the people who have been fighting each other for thousands of years continue to fight each other.
>>43618933
>We get sick of being berated for doing the job that has been forced upon us by the global community, and then criticized for NOT doing it when we're asked to stop.
To be fair, we took that job on ourselves. We tried isolationism after the disaster of WW1 and the Euros went and immediately started an even worse war.
>>43618928
>Ignorance and racism aren't the same thing.
Semantics, man. There's "kill the mud people" racism and "can you teach me all your cool dance moves?" racism.
>>43618788
>>43618812
>>43618836
%GDP isn't Per Capita. That's out of the total number income of the nation, not out of the number of people in that nation, which is the statistic I was stating.
Also, the EU isn't a country. Leaning on other nations you're only loosely affiliated with only exacerbates your weakness.
>>43617728
I feel those were simpler times, friend, when you can make your own roleplaying game.
>>43618940
>start a new charitable prison program
>40k for 40 years
>prisoners get sent wargaming models and paints
>inter-gang disputes are settled via tournaments
>brushes and green stuff take the place of cigs and porn.
>>43618954
But someone who gives a penny while only having two is more charitable than someone who gives a penny while having two million.
>>43617959
I've lived in Montana, Utah, California, Denmark, and Spain. I found the European states to be more pleasant than the American ones. The only criticism I can think of is that Spanish internet is slower than California internet, but it's much faster than Montana internet, so in that regard I'd say that things are just comparable.
>>43618954
I think it probably means a lot more if a guy with only two pennies is giving half his money to charity.
>>43618983
>people who run cheese lists get stabbed to death
I love this idea.
>>43618933
>>43618975
This desu senpai.
America tried to let the centuries old nations and societies behave themselves like civilized adults, and they went and showed that they can't be trusted to do so.
>>43618979
And the US has way more people in it than any single EU country, of course they could give more.
>>43618983
Reminds me of a roleplaying game from Saturn where the currency was cigerattes, porn mags, and moonshine.
You weren't a prisoner, you were transporting a convicted who had escaped to the prison island.
>>43618045
>see if they learn the error of there ways
They're in prison. What more are you gonna do by putting preaching into their escapism?
>>43619001
God, these censors are the best.
>>43618996
>niggas get fed up with the beaners
>pool all their money and good behavior
>get a Manta
>spend the next month secretly painting it in their cell
>it's a master piece of graffiti that would make the most critical of hipsters cry
>>43619001
Says the guys who proceeded to pick fights with rice farmers and towel heads.
>>43618972
>I don't think anyone forced you to patrol anywhere. I think everyone else in the world was content to let the people who have been fighting each other for thousands of years continue to fight each other.
We're forced to do so because nobody else will. The idea of "just let them fight" is what causes massive genocides and things like ISIS to occur, which majorly disrupts regions of the globe and prevents them from ever getting better and stopping the fight. Turns out when you're not allowed to fight each other you tend to spend your time on other pursuits and generally move forward (Look at nations like Brazil and Argentina after the implementation of the Monroe Doctrine. While they still have their problems, they've been able to make considerable progress because the US will immediately get involved if they attempt to fight again). Furthermore, most of the hotbed regions are places that YOU disrupted and destroyed in the first place, and you guys pretty much wrote off trying to fix it when you determined colonialism was no longer worth it after WWII.
You guys royally fucked up the globe, and now America is still trying to pick up the pieces.
>>43618975
We were forced into the role because NOT taking up the role would have been worse for everybody, including us. We had a choice to make with only one correct answer.
>>43619028
>rice farmers
They ruskies were trying to get to them first.
>towel heads
Muh oil.
>>43619030
>>43619001
>this is what American's actually believe
ok bush
>>43619030
>and you guys pretty much wrote off trying to fix it when you determined colonialism was no longer worth it after WWII.
This; whether or not you consider colonialism to be good (which it was for the most part, except in the case of Belgium); the timing of Europe withdrawing from their colonies could not have been worse; the natives were already too far in to revert to pre-colonial societies, but they weren't civilized and developed enough to actually maintain themselves.
>>43619053
I'm sorry, do you think that Europe didn't royally fuck up the globe by arbitrarily breaking up Africa, the Middle East, SE Asia, starting two planet-spanning wars that leveled their own continent and threw global power balances completely out of whack, and then just left all those regions to figure it out for themselves because they realized they couldn't handle the mess they made?
>>43618729
/tg/ has been overrun by /pol/, whom are now apparently operating like the fucking Alpha legion. A simple discussion about prisons has descended into a /b/tier penis helicopter battle. This is juxtaposed by the religious troll thread that, a couple days ago, descended into a long and spirited discussion about the nature of God and religious Orthodoxy v Gnosticism, without the usual 'Religun r dumb v yu r dumberer' penis helicopter battle..
>>43619030
And going into those countries had absolutely nothing to do with getting oil or bananas right? And those countries weren't so ready to fight because a certain someone was giving them tons of guns and putting people in power so they wouldn't decide to join up with Russia right?
![2xjq8j6[1].gif](https://i.imgur.com/h1SApPs.gif "2xjq8j6[1].gif")
>>43619053
>Implying Bush wasn't fucking awesome
>>43619090
>p-pol!
fuck off m8
>>43619097
American "imperialism" has not had NEARLY the effect on the globe that European (most specifically British) Imperialism had. America has accidentally ignited wildfires trying to put them out - Europe set whole continents ablaze because they wanted charcoal.
Also, I recall you being right their next to us when we did it, and were more than happy to look the other way when you weren't and not get involved, so you better be ready to slap some of the blame on yourself for those.
>>43617688
>lion prison
You mean the zoo? I've never seen animals play d&d there.
>>43619168
Yeah, they prefer to play Humans & Homesteads.
>>43619133
Believe it or not most Europeans weren't that happy with the British empire hundreds of years ago. In a similar way people are not happy with the US who do the same shit in these days but there isn't much to be done.
What are we going to do? Say no fuck off out of these countries? You wouldn't listen, and no one is willing to start a fight with the big retards sitting on nuclear weapons.
>>43618137
Actually, no.
We have a major problem in the US prison system. It tries to do both. Every time we've "tried reform" it's actually been trying this wishy-washy mix of reform and punishment, and they wind up working at cross purposes. It's one of the reasons we have a revolving door prison system (the other being that nobody will hire a con).
>>43619073
As a member of the Commonwealth, yes.
>>43619202
Quiet Canada.
>>43619028
We got involved in Vietnam on request of the French. The durkas have oil and a bad habit of blowing up embassies and skyscrapers.
>>43619188
>people are not happy with the US who do the same shit in these days
Again, US "imperialism" has not been anywhere remotely near the level of British Imperialism.
British Imperialism was about mercantilism and colonial conquest, creating markets for British goods sold at a high mark-up in exchange and purchasing raw materials at extremely low prices, and robbing and exploiting local populations to benefit the Crown. They had no problems committing genocides and funding slavery even long after their "outlaw" of the Atlantic Slave Trade (Look up Kohesian "apprentices" in South Africa), which was only done to hurt their rival European powers and their former colony the US. They had no trouble arbitrarily drawing borders with no regard for local populations and societies, only caring exclusively about controlling the population through fear and through the Pound Sterling, and then abandoned those people to fend entirely for themselves when they called it quits. Pretty much all the problems in modern-day Africa and the Middle East are at least partially the fault of the British, as well as the Indo-Pakistani clusterfuck.
American "Imperialism" has never been about conquest and subjugation, but about maintaining favorable trade partners and ensuring they have friendly territories they can refit and refuel their navy around the world. The one exception to this were the Spanish colonies siezed in the Spanish-American War, all of which were in short order (after attempting to control the Philippines, which quickly did not work) given the choice of independence or becoming American territories with the right to become full member states when they met the criteria all states have to meet and vote to become one. Nowadays, it's far more about keeping hotbed regions (which were caused by Euro-fuckery) from exploding into violence and potentially disrupting the global economy and drawing in other powers, creating a massive war.
Pretty big difference.
>>43619255
Did they do that before or after you started dicking with them?
>>43619286
Did you just ignore where I said no one liked Britain either? Or can you not read? Also Britain was doing this hundreds of years ago, you are doing it today.
>>43619255
>We got involved in Vietnam on request of the French.
You mean the same French we started mocking as cowards when their president warned us off of interfering in Vietnam, trying to tell us from long experience that it was a hellhole that would deny us any real victory?
We got involved in Vietnam because of the (in hindsight ridiculous) Domino theory which mistook Russia's "satellite nation" barrier strategy to be some kind of innate force of communism.
>>43618737
Another option is to use pencils as log dice as a substitute for d6s
>>43619289
After we helped them out multiple times. Eventually we'll learn there's no such thing as a trustworthy Muslim.
>>43619030
Your "patrolling" caused ISIS, dumbass.
>>43619333
Or to sharpen 'em real good and use 'em to shank Larry for playing a kender.
C.O. here.
Yeah, they play. Gaming dice are a no go so they usually write numbers on a bunch of small squares of paper and mix them up in empty peanut butter jars or use home made spinners for the random numbers. a jar or spinner for each die.
Worked at a prison once where the big draw as GURPS in one housing unit actually and the people that used GURPS and the others that played D&D (3rd edition) would have constant arguments over which was the better system and why.
Apparently this old white Jew could run a mean game using GURPS though.
I have worked at four different prisons, by far D&D is the most popular game. Pathfinder gained some ground in recent years after the books made it in and the inmates passed on 4ed as they didn't want to invest in new books AND learn a new system.
All in all though, they aren't popular games. A few of the inmates played MtG but they were pretty rare and, amazingly enough, all child molesters.
About the only consistently 'nerdy' thing that is extremely common place is getting black people talking about dragon ball z. They will talk about that shit for hours on end.
>>43619317
>Also Britain was doing this hundreds of years ago,
Try less than 70.
The point is that the two are extremely unfair comparisons, and most people see "US gets involved in X" and automatically equate it to "America conquers X," because that's what European Imperialism was, but they're not the same animal. The US gets involved to promote global stability (which usually also promotes US interests, as the US is the worlds leading economy). European nations got involved to exploit other countries for personal gain, and gave little thought to the consequences, and now Americans are forced to get involved in the nations they fucked up because they're unwilling/incapable of doing so.
It's fine that nobody liked it when Britain did it, but that doesn't mean that what the US is doing now is in any way comparable to what the British Empire did, and the fact that the current UK largely does not care about attempting to fix the mess their ancestors made, instead pawning it off to the US.
>>43619361
No, that was Assad murdering his own citizens until they revolted and the Iraqi Army consisting of cowards. We rather stupidly backed "moderate" Muslim rebels, finding out yet again that there's actually no such thing.
>>43619364
>The USA gets involved to promote global stability
...by systematically destabilising regions. Look at what they do, not what Fox News tells you.
>>43617735
>>43617688
Nice try OP, but you can't get away with lion
>>43619363
>Apparently this old white Jew could run a mean game using GURPS though.
What was he in for.
> few of the inmates played MtG but they were pretty rare and, amazingly enough, all child molesters.
Top kek.
Canadafag here
Americans are cool, I've never met a rude American while vacationing in America
Yuros are cool dudes too, I love getting lost in old cities like Warsaw.
Why can't we all just not be dicks?
>>43619355
Probably shouldn't of helped them by giving them so many.
>>43619364
Sure dude whatever you say. Hard to take anyone who starts wars over bananas seriously though.
>>43619364
>European nations got involved to exploit other countries for personal gain
Yeah, when we do it, we use the IMF and World Bank to loot them. Those 19th century idiots didn't have the sense to hide behind a third party.
>>43619368
If you're such friends of the muslim people, why are they shooting at you?
Oh, wait, you made them literally afraid of the sky.
>>43619386
Internet.
>>43619361
And we would not have ever had to become involved in the first place had you guys not fucked the whole region to high hell after WWI and II, then alternately funded and sanctioned them seemingly at random to promote your own personal interests once you abandoned them.
>>43619379
I don't watch Faux News, son. The US has made mistakes, but nobody else is actively trying to fix the problem. Europe just sits their on their golden thrones (sometimes literally) and pretends that the mess they made doesn't exist, and expects it to just clean itself up by itself.
>>43619395
>we use the IMF and World Bank to loot them
Controlled as much by Europeans as they are the US.
>>43619397
>muslim "people"
>you made them literally afraid of the sky.
As they should be.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HfnUkUJaoF0
>>43619420
The region was perfectly fine until you got involved. People are worse off under your "benevolent care" than under the dictators that used to be in charge. You're not helping. Just GTFO.
>>43619438
Have to break a few eggs to make an omelet.
>>43619385
>What was he in for
Don't know. Don't care.
Try to keep an emotional disconnect just in case I am the guy that has to shoot them if they try to leave one day so I avoid reading their files. It is actively discouraged for that reason by most states except for California and I think a few others. The federal system doesn't care if you do or do not, but doesn't really see the point in doing so as you have to treat them all the same anyway.
Chomos (slang for child molesters) tend to get found out and the aryan nation tends to brutalize them pretty steady. Black prisoners don't care at all really, neither do mexicans, but the skinheads? Phew. They go hard on chomos.
>>43619438
>People are worse off under your "benevolent care" than under the dictators that used to be in charge
Is that why the global community has been clamoring for change in regimes for the last few decades? And why dozens of nations have had massive protests against their dictatorships in favor of Western ideals like freedom of speech and democratic government in recent years?
We're not trying to care for them. We're trying to get them to sit down and figure their shit out without killing each other or slaughtering their own citizens in a holy war.
Super easy to just sit there and criticize from the peanut gallery after you've already plundered everything of worth from the place, though.
>>43618985
More pleasant in what way?
>>43619397
>Oh, wait, you made them literally afraid of the sky.
This is a modern development.
Kuwait exists because of American benevolence. Saudi Arabia is defended by the same. Pakistan isn't even a legitimate state and would not exist without us. We helped the Afghans fight back against the Soviets for whom slaughtering civilians was deliberate policy. We've wasted countless billions liberating those worthless morons AGAIN, to say nothing of all the money we wasted forcing democracy on Iraq and trying to build schools, hospitals, and power plants only to watch the locals chimp out and burn them down. The U.S. economically and militarily backs Turkey and Indonesia; the former has been caught funding daesh and the latter is sliding steadily away from secularism.
We simply seem to not understand that you can't apply western standards of secular humanism to a Muslim. He doesn't understand it or values it. He views it as weakness.
I want /pol/fags to leave.
You can hold the opinion that America is shit or Yuropoors are muslims or whatever but /tg/ isn't the place to discuss it.
Who fucking cares if somebody insulted your country over the internet? You aren't going to change their mind and why does it even matter if you do? Have some restraint for once in your life and let it go, jesus.
>>43619483
What you want and what you get aren't the same thing, anon.
>>43619483
Nigger.
>>43619464
Bro, as a fellow American, please stop. These people don't want peace, they want extremism to dominate. They just want their kind of extremism to dominate instead of others.
Not all of them, not even the majority want that, but the ones who will actually do something want it and that is what is going to happen.
The ones who fight and actually get involved in political matters in the middle east are god damned jihadists. The rest just stand around and shrug until someone dies then they cry while shrugging.
Fuck Europe for a number of reasons, but they are slitting their own throats with their intake of refugees.
Just leave that shit hole region of the middle east alone. Total destruction is the only cure for it and it isn't fucked enough for that to be the answer.
>>43619464
And all you have actually managed is to get them to attack everyone else as well as each other. Good job.
>Super easy to just sit there and criticize from the peanut gallery after you've already plundered everything of worth from the place, though.
The most refined keks right here folks. An american talking shit to people for their country plundering the middle east.
>>43619502
Huh, I thought yuropoors had better standards of teaching world history than America. Guess I was wrong.
>>43619509
We know "Europe" hasn't plundered jack shit. A select few nations have, and in the process improved these nations' infrastructure and technology.
The USA made sure no one had electricity or running water. Great job!
>>43619428
Oh, we throw them a bone as allies, sure, but I don't doubt who those orgs really work for.
>>43619509
Yes europe fucked around there. Back in the day when hanging people was acceptable government punishment. You are doing it right now motherfucker and you are painting targets on everyone else's backs because of it.
>>43619527
I take back what I said earlier, you're ten times worse than America when it comes to teaching history.
>>43619539
What the fuck are you on about?
>>43619386
This. Right here. This is why, despite being born in America, I very much hold onto my claim of being half canadian. This mindset is better.
>>43619475
The life is easier. Denmark is rich and Spain is not so much, but in both, you walk around town and meet people and make friends. In both, the cost of things you need, compared to the amount of money you make, is much better even if you don't work so hard. In the US, there are big budgets and the currency is strong but it just translates to a lot of hard work that doesn't benefit you much. Also the food is better and there's a lot of things that people are weird about in the US than in Europe, although I think that part is more culture than economics or politics.
>>43619527
>We know "Europe" hasn't plundered jack shit
Nigger are you serious
>what are blood diamonds
>What is palm oil
>What are textiles
>what is sugar cane
>what is rubber
>what is tea
>what is opium
>what is brain drain
>what are colonial regiments
You guys plundered the whole world, and then pretend like nothing ever happened or you did it out of the kindness of your hearts with your White Mans Burden. The Middle East wouldn't be anywhere NEAR as fucked up had you not stripped them of every valuable asset and then left them to squabble over the remains. The only infrastructure yall built was to get raw materials from Point A to Point B and train the natives just enough to do the job competently, but not enough to be able to negotiate better terms and realize they were slaves in all but name.
Also,
>Britain
>France
>Germany
>Italy
>Spain
>Netherlands
Sounds like every European nation that matters.
>>43619539
You do realize that almost every member of the EU was part of Bush's coalition, right?
/pol/ pls go
>>43619563
We as Americans largely dislike Europeans because Europeans often come across as extremely pretentious/rude to us, and often talk down to us without even realizing it. They also expect us to be European, because we're largely white, speak English, and are descended from Europeans, when we're very much not, and claiming we should be totally erases our cultural identity and our accomplishments.
Europeans looking down on Americans has been a very common thing pretty much since our inception as a nation, it's just becoming much more prevalent today because our nations are drifting in opposite directions.
>>43619540
You're confusing "history" with "propaganda". Colonialism was nowhere near as bad as what the USA is doing in the middle east currently.
>>43619572
1) Europe is a political body that has jack all to do with the monarchies/dictatorships that 'plundered' the world, beyond sharing a few geographical similarities
2) You systematically destroyed their power and water supplies, you fucking idiot.
3) YOU as a people, are being held responsible for what your nation does. There is no dictatorship to absolve you of responsibility. YOU voted for it (or chose not to vote).
^This, btw, is what you teach people in the middle east. And then you wonder why they target your civilians.
>>43619601
America doesn't have a cultural identity. It has 50.
>>43619687
I was going to point out how different northern California is from the south, and say that it therefore ought to be more than fifty, but then I remembered North and South Dakota. That ought to even it back out.
>>43619637
>1) Europe is a political body that has jack all to do with the monarchies/dictatorships that 'plundered' the world, beyond sharing a few geographical similarities
I just got here and holy bajesus you've got a tiny view of history. By that logic, we absolved ourselves of all the shit we got up to under Bush the moment we elected Obama. You, as a people, are responsible for historical actions predating your current government, at least when discussing things in long terms over the span of centuries, like everyone in this thread is. Britain for example, has arguably had a continuous state formation since 1066, so in the context of this discussion you can't rightly claim that Europe has 'jack shit' to do with the historical forms it's constituent countries have come in.
>>43619195
The major problem in the US prison system is that there's too much private interest in it.
>>43619637
>Colonialism was nowhere near as bad as what the USA is doing in the middle east currently.
>>43618626
Fuck, this makes me want to lurk on /int/ more.
>>43617740
>>43618165
gambling ,duh.
>>43618626
>2pm: gym class, jap too unatletic and weak for more than 30 minute including get changed into gundam suit
>>43619637
>>43619807
I like how everybody went jingoistic and absolved aristocracy/capitalists of all the crimes.
>>43617779
It's because the people in charge of that aren't the guards. A bored prisoner is the biggest threat to safety as once they have nothing better to do than use all their brainpower towards invention they will can turn out to be smarter than you thought they were.
Eg. They figured out how to make little flamethrowers out of straws and coffee creamer.
>>43622642
So what you're saying is that we need to lock DARPA up in the middle of the desert with no board games.
>>43618564
I stopped halfway through because I had a problem figuring out which side was America. ( I hadn't noticed the writing in the top panel) It just paint both as hypocritical jackasses.
![usa___haters_gonna___hate_by_alternatehistory-d5n82ap[1].png](https://i.imgur.com/eEMsx09.png "usa___haters_gonna___hate_by_alternatehistory-d5n82ap[1].png")
>>43619637
The butthurt is strong with you, euroserf.
ITT: Maximum american salt
It's like I'm on /int/
But seriously, I thought /tg/ had less retards. That's a shame.
https://youtu.be/36qq5JKvfJk
Varg invented myfarog, while being in prison. How do you think he was testing it?
>>43622749
Oh yeah, well America is the stronger hypocritical jackass, so take that!
>>43622786
Regardless of board, Europeans always exude an air of condescension; I would say I could smell it, but that's probably just your women and cheese.
>>43622819
Yeah, I'm sure of it m8, I'm mocking you because I'm a puny cheesey european, not because you're a full blown retard.
>>43622819
But I thought you needed Trump to make America great again after Obama weakened you?
I can't tell if the condescension thing is a joke or you lacking self awareness.
>>43622819
>>43622841
Americans are dumb.
Europeans are narcissistic cultural marxist faggots.
End of story.
>>43619429
>muh brrt
>literally useless w/o complete air supremacy
>>43622856
>cultural marxist
You can't break a prenup in my country and we don't have this gender studies shit.
We do have other things, but the cultural marxist plague got everyone
>>43617785
Don't know why, but i got kinda sad with the inmates wanting to be paladins.
>>43622841
>I'm mocking you because I'm a puny cheesey european
Glad to see you have some self-awareness.
>>43622847
Nah m8, even after Obongo fucked shit up America is still the best. Trump making America great is just us getting back to where we should be.
>>43622958
Yeah m8, go to /int/, everyone we love to fling shit with you all the time
>>43619438
Yeah, gassing and summarily executing entire villages of ethnic minorities constitutes "perfectly fine"
>>43617688
Yes they often do helps pass the time.
>>43622721
>lock DARPA up in the middle of the desert with no board games.
Please, don't. Last time we ended up with nuclear bomb.
![cde[1].png](https://i.imgur.com/0oDzIj1.png "cde[1].png")
Even as a European, I have to wonder why we're all so butthurt about America. Face it, America is superior in each and every way. We're living in America's world where we have the privilege of speaking American, using the American internet and being under American protection as we consume American media.
>Inb4 the relevance of English today totally has nothing to do with America
>Inb4 muh Berners-Lee (What's a Cailliau anyway?) and false equivocation of internet and WWW
>Inb4 Germany can totally defend itself against itself, let alone against foreign influence
>Inb4 some random Spaniard starts arguing that he lives in a cave and only watches Spanish movies from the 1920s
>>43618288
Except a "cultural victory" is a simplification meant for games. Many "cultural victories" have happened over the course of history, that didn't mean anything when the current "victor" eventually fell into obscurity or even completely disappeared. Real life just goes on, and things inevitably change.
![13858607354051_zpsf9d0dde3[2].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/jgar1zF.jpg "13858607354051_zpsf9d0dde3[2].jpg")
>>43623292
This, and while America's utter dominance over world affairs is impressive it's also rather young. Prior to WW1, just over a century ago, they were still competing with the French to conquer global cinema.
If the Germans didn't poop the party twice, the French might've won. We'll never know, but I wonder what kind of movies would be in cinemas right now if they had.
