Post your best stories /tg/
Pic unrelated
It's customary to start with a story of your own.Oh who am I kidding? You've never played a game in your life.
>>43605756
Ok then, a recent one
>be me, playing a paladin wood elf chick named Jeff (when asked, she says "long story")
>Party has just cleared a fort of goblins. A few downs, no deaths, no worries
>GM describes the morning as fine, with an owl flying around
>everyone is a little suspicious, obviously
>I use detect magic. Roll is a little sloppy, but the owl doesn't seem suspicious
>I say it's probably nothing
>our fighter, who found some spell scrolls isn't convinced
>magic missile's the poor bastard
>owl is instagibbed
>GM is a bit livid for working out exp for killing an owl, although we are busting our gut laughing
>in character Jeff is kinda mad at the fighter (another wood elf) for killing at random (I'm not even LG)
>he gets the idea of "I can shoot anything to get XP!"
>shoots a tree with a fire spell
>tree turns around. It's an Ent
>I sigh as he is backhanded to near death
He's pretty lucky the GM didn't kill him off right there. But I'm not done
>he calls for heals
>fuckyouasshole.jpg
>I heal the Ent to full health
>he's mad, but knows it's his fault
Moral: don't shoot trees
>be me , playing homebrew
>coyote-human-demon
>her name is cheyenne jackow , or jackie
>fire resistance traits , focus on martial arts , axes and pyromancy
>campaign starts in a marsh
>kill a bunch of bugs , burn down wasp nests
>kill stuff with burning fists and fiery hugs of death
>good character choice so far
>finaly get to some shitty village
>collect information and sell shit
>zombie invasion out of fucking nowhere
>realize these things arent as strong as i thought
>DM just wanted to scare us
>set undeads on fire with sucker punches
>one of these niggas is bloated as fuck
>set it on fire for shits n giggles
>turns out it is an explosive nigga
>methan gas ignites
>half of village burning , party members scorched to 2 hp each
>only lose a tiny hp amount due to resistance traits
>mfw I had to fight the boss zombie all by myself and lost half my stuff in the process
>eventually just run away with my grilled pals
>cant await next session
Once I didn't play DnD
>>43605731
Does Space DnD counts?
> Star Wars Saga
> Have an houserule where you replace focal crystals of guns and lightsabers for extra damage like elemental enchantments.
> Party running after artifacts that store dark side energy.
> First one is Wrath.
> Stored in abandoned ship called Wrath too.
> Dungeon Spaceship has one enemy, a Wraith that reforms itself and harass PCs.
> Soul is kept in mask made of Force conducting metal.
> Salvage the mask' material.
> Artifact stores shit tons of Dark Side Energy of Wrath by collecting slowly from surface.
> Get to second artifact.
> Second ship, Glutonny, covered in a swarm of mynocks.
> PCs build contraption to put the artifact Wrath (which is a crystal) inside the cannon, using the Force-conducting materials.
> A fumble causes PCs to receive 5d6 damage, destroying some equipment, as a tiny bit of dark side energy is released.
> All PCs: "AWWW YISSS!"
> Aim at SS Glutony.
> PC1: "Maybe we shouldn't..."
> PC2: "I pull the trigger".
> SS Glutony had no shield (mynocks) and lost 35% of it's hull.
> Backlash explodes the turret.
> Artifact is no longer dark side.
> PCs' spaceship disabled.
> SS Glutony, a Space cruiser, makes entry in atmosphere.
> So does PC2. PC2 actually got enough armor and stuff to survive the fall. Most of his equipment rendered useless.
> Very young and unstable planet.
> Starts going volcanic.
> THEN from under the magma, SS Glutony's nuclear reactor goes off.
> Emergency repairs last long enough for the area where PC2 is to be covered in cinder clouds.
> -5 to all pilot checks. Basic roll hard as fuck.
> Magma Drakes and other nasties reached the surface.
> Failed pilot check goes bump, -1 in condition track.
> Gets on SS Gluttony, fight force-sensitive creatures of magma.
> 2 unconscious/dying, an heavily battered ship, an artifact almost lost to magma, about two force points left for the whole team.
> "We have to design a cannon for those things!"
> In deep space, something just woke up.
>>43605852
>PC shoots an owl that looks suspicious, afterwards engages in random but harmless buffoonery by burning a tree
>DM is livid for no discernable reason, instantly punishes player by nearly killing the character
What the fuck is wrong with your group?
>>43605852
>be me, playing a paladin wood elf chick named Jeff (when asked, she says "long story")
> we are busting our gut laughing
>I heal the Ent to full health
Cancer.
>>43606950
So you played a furry half-human demon? That is really BAD character choice. Otherwise, great.
>>43605731
>Playing 3.5
>Make Boring fighter who carries a weapon with each damage type. Put in the extra gold for a cold iron mace.
>Start out with javelins and large shield ready before a fight.
>Picked a very common name for my common boring fighter.
>Add an accent to spice it up
>everyone around the table immediately assumes I'm a homosexual greek hero.
>Roll with it.
>Slather myself with oil on downtime, claiming it helped me in a wrestling match.
>GM gave me and my opponent penalties, fair, and my grappling was good enough for it to work.
>Gayness intensifies.
>End of dungeon, decide to light a torch and fight with it in offhand.
>light myself on fire.
>1d4 for 4 turns?
>Grapple time!
GM calls me a flaming faggot for immobilizing the bandit leader and breaking more oil on the both of us.
Prude cleric reluctantly created water to dowse me off.
GM handed me a new character sheet at the end of the session.
I apologized for making a couple players uncomfortable, but they had started it.
>>43607858
Ok, that is fucking beautiful. Thank you.
I got one.
>due to shenanigans, party of two elves, a human, a dwarf, a halfling and a tiefling are in a ruined fort.
>stuck in an outhouse
>surrounded by elf wights who have a real hateboner for humans and halflings (died in battle against human army)
>send one elf out through the roof to scout around
>one nearby building has a grate over a straight drop, possibly to an underground river/cave system
>another has a very large box in
>"what's in the box?" We shout over
>"uh... human faces. Made into masks."
>holy shit
>"should I put one on?"
>"fuck no."
>"putting it on."
>elf becomes human. Loses elf stat bonuses, gets human ones.
>he lures the wights away by putting a human mask on our pony, we break to the sewer and jump down
>he leaves the pony to die and rejoins us by jumping down the grate to the cave system
>DM has his head in his hands
"You realise that you could have worn the mask. Or just put the human and halfling in the box and carried them out?"
>no fucks given. Shame about the pony
>>43607726
not a furry (but tail/ears)
a human that was a demon BECAUSE she is fused with an animal spirit (our homebrew definition of beastmen)
also , i guess you are a person which is the typical elf/human/dwarf player
Shameless bump
