You wake up in your bedroom.
What do you do?
Masturbate
>>43581678
No, first we need to take a morning piss.
I throw a temper-tantrum because OP didn't put the word "quest" in the subject field and I am incapable of ignoring threads I don't like.
>>43581667
After waking realize the horror of your own life and the worthlessness of it and choose to mercifully end my existence after 20 miserable years of life.
>>43581678
>>43581695
Followed by quiet contemplation of suicide and moving the clock on the opposite wall.
>>43581695
This.
>>43581667
It's clearly 1 AM, what woke me up?
>>43581667
Spend 12 hours watching threads bump on 4chan, intermittently getting up for food or a piss, then go back to bed. Rinse, repeat.
>>43581709
Faggot you're only 20 years old, you're not old enough to call yourself worthless because you haven't even been measured yet. Sit down.
>>43581708
this
>>43581667
But really, the clock should be on the opposite wall for ease of perusal. How are you supposed to see it properly from bed?
If you're outside the room, and it happens to be the closest clock, a simple peek through the door will be enough.
A sloppily mounted clock.
You wander to the bathroom and empty your bladder. Following this, you masturbate while sitting on the toilet, making a little bit of a mess, but ultimately feeling a positive release that momentarily numbs your depression. You wonder if it was the full bladder that woke you up at 1 AM.
>>43581667
burn down room
>>43581667
I go back to sleep, it's dark outside.
>>43581807
Go measure dick length and order dick size increasing drugs from the Internet.
>>43581807
Check how the toilet paper is positioned.
>>43581807
Take a shower
Realize I need to shit while in the shower
Shit on my hand and try to toss it in the toilet
Miss
>>43581807
Clean up after myself, I'm not an animal.
>>43581807
burn down room
I put "quest" in the thread name so I can filter this shit.
>>43581667
look around, pink curtains. . .blue sheet. . .this isnt my room, where have you taken me? wheres Rachael?
>>43581824
This
Bored but curious, you decide to take the measurements of your member while it is still erect. Length 8 inches, circumference 5 inches.
You also check the toilet paper's orientation. The urge to do this makes you feel autistic.
Once your erection goes down, you clean up after yourself and take a shower.
>>43581984
burn down room
>>43581984
I tell myself that I am well hung while in the shower, then after that I go back to my room and look out at the street.
>>43582012
You have nothing to light a fire with.
>>43581667
That's not my bedroom. THIS is my bedroom.
>>43582067
You adore your own equipment whilst in the shower, recognising that it is one of the few things that makes life worth living for you.
After 10 minutes, you dry yourself off and return to your room. You open the curtain and look outside. It's a nice view to the inner courtyard of a quiet residential enclosure, with modern red brick buildings and neatly maintained greenery.
>>43582168
I post a CYOA thread on /tg/ using mspaint drawings.
>>43582168
Wait for somebody to enter enclosure.
Throw the clock at them when they get near my window.
>>43582168
Put on my ski mask and black sweater before going out to fight crime.
>>43582168
Search chest of drawers
>>43582168
Go on /r9k/ and brag about my big uncut dick, and make fun of cutfags who have empirically shit dicks because their parents worshipped a fictional being.
>>43582168
Realize that I spent 12 hours in the bathroom
or that the clock isn't working, and nothing can be trusted.
Also change the clock's place.
You search the drawers and find your wallet and handgun. Your pet rat dashes out of the drawer.
You take your clock.
>>43582168
shit on the floor
>>43581667
Please remember to label your Quest threads
>>43582310
Put rat in pocket
>>43582310
shit on the floor
>>43582310
shoot the rat
>>43582310
Shoot the clock.
>>43582310
Wallet the rat, also keep the clock.
You pick up the rodent and scratch it behind the ears, before crudely shoving it in your spacious pocket.
Feeling suddenly frustrated at your evidently broken clock, you throw it on the floor, turn the safety off your handgun, and put a bullet through the clock's face. Clockwork flies all over the floor as the single casing makes a jingle. The rat becomes frightened and stops moving about in your pocket.
You realise that you may have an anger management problem.
From the corner of your eye, you see somebody walking outside.
>>43582460
Post a jumpscare gif disguise as an ms paint drawing
>>43582460
Put rat on shoulder and tell it that I love him no matter what gender he wants to have sex with
>>43582460
Copy the person outside's actions, even if they notice.
>>43582460
shit on the floor
>>43582460
Shout that you are the night and shoot at them
>>43582460
Scream that you're so horny at them.
Rolled 10 (1d20)
>>43582460
Post on /tg/
>>43582460
Step out the door
Get on the floor
Everybody do the dinosaur
>>43582460
put gun in mouth, pull trigger
go shoot up a walmart
>>43582533
Fucking this
>>43582679
Get schwifty.
>>43583537
No, bed! Who did this to you?
Die, OP.
>>43584003
My god. It's full of stars.
WHO DARES SUMMON ME
>>43584032
They did it. >>>/his/
>>43584032
The fuck did you do to my bed, oh great Wall Nigger?
>>43584032
Me
>>43584032
>>43584003
>>43583963
>>43583743
Underrated
>>43584109
WHY HAVE YOU AWAKENED ME FROM MY ETERNAL SLUMBER MORTAL
>>43584772
Call him a giganigga for being as black as space
>>43584772
I am not a clever man
>>43584772
shoot his eye out with our handgun
>>43584772
Want to get some coffee sometime?
>>43581667
>1:00 AM
Jesus, why am I up this early? I go back to bed right away and don't wake up until the afternoon.
>>43581667
>wake up to the Marine corps hymn
>shit/shower/shave
>exercise: 150 pushups, 200 situps, etc
>breakfast while reading New Scientist, the Beeb and the Financial Times
>get out there and Carpe the fuck out of that diem
genocide all elves
>>43581984
>take a shower
Disgusting. Are you normie or something?
>>43584811
This. So much this.
>>43584772
"Nigga you cray cray, I didn't awakened no one, shiiiit"
>>43587990
I didindu nuffin
