>Rescue the Queen's beloved Griffon steward
>Asked to name my reward
>"I desire naught but a taste of your most succulent fruit"
Here you go then.
Oh, okay. Here's a fresh apple. See you later!
>>43552836
Ahhh one of the Queen's prized Pomegranate's from her famous gardens?
The Late Earl of Caspar partook in one and had miraculous luck and success for a decade, until he drowned in cowshit that is.
you want to be breastfed by the queen?
We will fetch the semen of the local fagot at once. They shall set out to castle OP with all haste.
>>43552836
You heard me, go get the grapefruit.
Joke's on you, the story takes place in Ireland
Enjoy your potato, retard
>>43552836
>The Queen hands you a tomato.
>>43553402
First of all, that's not a fruit, that's a tuber.
Secondly, Potatoes are a New World veggie. If Irish, you want Whortleberry instead
It's pineapples
>>43552858
Weeb detected.
>>43552836
You mean her favourite's cock?
>>43552836
They bring out a fine platter of well prepared shellfish.Roll for allergies.
>>43552836
>"What a peculiar man. All he wanted was our blackberries."
>>43553760
>Secondly, Potatoes are a New World veggie.
And? It was in france by late 1500s
>>43553901
Sounds like one of my partymembers.
He is specced completely into grabbling stuff so he started requesting random crap from people's houses instead of actual rewards as, according to him, all material wealth would make his perfection of a body less pure.
Imagine that the burly group of adventurers bring back your Mcguffin that could have caused a civil war if revealed by the ones that stole it and one of the turdjugglers demand your goddamn hatrack as payment for the monumental task.
Other partymembers ask for shit like pass for free movement in and out of city, no tolls or questions asked at gates or stupid titles that grant them access to noble gatherings.
Then there is the big and oiled man with no shirt but 3 scarves or clashing colors and styles that asks for your hatrack.
Fucking Gilberioth The Magnificent.
>>43554041
10/10 would go on adventures with.
>>43553830
But you know what those are, that means you're weeb too.
>>43552836
What's the color of your skin?
>>43553901
>Implying blackberries aren't fucking tasty
Dude...
>>43553402
i'll admit i laughed a little too hard at that
>>43554135
Liking japanese stuff doesn't make you a weeb, wishing you were japanese makes you a weeb.
>>43552836
>watermelon.
>asking for dickpics
what a sluslu
>>43552836
>tfw misread most as moms
>>43555718
I wish I was American, what does that make me?
>>43556053
Westaboo.
>>43556053
A faggot.
>>43556053
A freeabo
>>43556071
So which part of Europe are you from, the one we saved or the one we bombed?
>>43556053
Mexican.
>>43555718
>implying they're strictly japanese
>implying japanese, and most of asia, culture isn't largely influenced by chinese culture
Fucking chinaboos, why don't you live in a flyover state where culture involves moonshine and getting fat off of cheese?
>>43556102
... Soviet bombed Dresden?
>>43556146
The one we saved, then. Thank Reagan for tearing down that wall.
>>43556162
>"You're fucking welcome."
>>43552836
>Weird rewards thread
I had a a warrior that demanded a virgin maidens to lay with him and for the governor/king/whatever of the saved settlement to care after her and the child until he/she is of age for adventure.
Years later our DM set up a campaign where we played the warrior's scions, some who idealized him as a saviour, some who were told he was a pillaging rapist, some who didn't even know.
>>43555718
The fuck lychee has to do with Japan, if it's fucking south China and northern Vietnam fruit, you stupid cunt?
>>43556053
A retard. America is one of the worst countries on the planet, full of fat, arrogant, racist bigots.
>>43556115
>>43552836
"Hmm... I am not one to object such an... interesting demand."
The Queen begins walking off into the halls made of gold and ivory, with the finest furs and rugs accommodating the grandness of it all. I follow her and it becomes clear she is leading me to her chambers.
"The King is not one for my being; he is plainly lacking and would rather have his younger, fresher produce than the fruit I can provide."
Her black lipstick glistens in the light seeping past the large windows that adorn the hallway, her presence a welcome contrast. Before long I am in her chambers.
"Now please, excuse me for a moment. I need to... prepare."
She slips off into a room, presumably her room of cloth. I begin undressing, giddy and eager as I lay on her large smooth sheets. Her pale skin against my being, eyes staring within my skull as her black lips stain my shameful areas.
It was then when she returned with a tray of freshly cut papayas. And that my friend, is why I'm here in the dungeon.
>>43557077
Found the American who thinks he's better than everyone else
>>43552836
Here, have a grape. Just the one, we've been on a strict rationing policy since that incident with the spirit of famine.
>>43553402
>>Not enjoying potatoes
The retard is you good sir.
>>43554041
Dear god, that sounds like fun
>>43554041
That brilliant.
In our group we have a someone whose never played tabletop games before playing a Sorceress. On designing her character she read that many spells have material costs and then didn't notice Arcane Focuses or Component Pouches till she was finished and just decided to run with it.
She keeps a detailed list of what materials she has on hand and when we are getting offered rewards she'll be asking for the rarer items she can't otherwise find but never money.
So we are asking for cash, gems, weapons, food or clothing and she's asks for a pocket of sulfur, or two dozen dragonflys, reletively fresh.
>>43557077
Wow, what a bigoted comment.
Stereotyping people based on their ethnicity.
>>43553402
>implying that Ireland actually has potatoes
>>43557783
So...this poster was American?
Why do shitty threads always get the most replies?
>>43555663
I actually burst out laughing for the first time in a while.
show us ya gash love
>>43557763
think practical
>>43557570
worth it
>>43557818
>>43557891
Because you have bad tastes if you think these threads are shitty
>>43552836
The queen rewards you with a hot date.
>>43557891
>Why do shitty threads always get the most replies?
Because people like you would rather whine about threads you dislike instead of making threads about topics that you enjoy.
>>43552858
>Lychee
>not even a good fruit like mangosteen
Fucking weebs
>>43559193
>mangosteen
>steen
darn jewish fruits
![[laughter stops].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/MH72DzD.jpg "[laughter stops].jpg")
>>43552836
aw fuck, now she's gonna make me suck her dick isn't she
>>43559272
>he doesn't want to suck a girl-dick
You gay or something?
>>43559039
Funny, it doesn't look like the majority of posts ITT are comments on how bad the thread is. Or are you trying to suggest that a better thread would make the people ITT not post in shitty threads? I'm confused, what are you actually suggesting?
>not asking for one of the stewards finest riding griffins
>>43556162
> the one we saved
You can't save a city of the dead anon, let them rest.
>>43556115
Yooo snap.
I wrist what new power this fruit will give me
>>43559272
>not wanting to suck the queen pale and delicate dick.
That's very fruity anon.
>>43552836
>"I'd give you my most succulent fruit but I already gave it to your mom."
>>43556084
Underrated post.
>>43559317
>>43562533
>wanting to suck a girl dick
stop trying to corrupt me
>>43566091
>Not wanting to find yourself ordered to hideunder her skirt before she begins holding court, slowly running your tongue up and down the length of her queenly cock before kissing it on the tip as you slide it into your mouth and suck her royal dick all day long as she sits upon her throne
You gay son
>>43559272
What's giving you the idea?
>>43560011
Just as long as you don't eat it.
>>43566091
This anon >>43566837 has the right idea, jewels like that are too rare to let pass. The little squirms she will secure as she tries to maintain her queeny composure...
>>43556053
An American in the making.
>>43566091
>>43566837
Yep, very gay.
>>43567151
I find it hotter if she does maintain her composure, showing no sign other than a smug confidence that she may have found a new Royal Staff Polisher
>>43558986
That is unpleasant looking.
Free access to a royal orchard would actually be a pretty fuckin great reward
>>43559193
>>43552858
What the fuck is a Lychee? A good fruit is an apple! I thought we bombed you!
>mfw we liberated a kingdom run by Strawberry Shortcake
Rolled 6 + 7 (1d20 + 7)
>>43566902
I roll to grapple.
>>43572797
>>43572797
It is a lot more, but if you are pretty good, you can always force her to try to resist some natural moans and whimpers sometimes.
You might turn into her favorite staff polisher or the contrary, make her look down on your for not having the best technique and cause embassament in the court. Way more likely the later, we know how is royalty.
>>43574276
I swear I tried to find an "adult" strawberry just to fuck with you, but failed. I bet she is actually a gnome or something.
>>43553830
>>43559193
>>43573979
It's not even from Japan , it's from inland Asia, Mexico and South América. You uncultured swines.
>>43552836
Sorry, all I have left are these cabbages. I had to use the rest to make a godly fruit salad to keep the griffon from eating our faces.
