>>43443745
I DONT UNDERSTAND A THINK SPEAK LOW GOTHIC FOR EMPERORS SAKE.

ALSO SPEAK LOUDER.

what do you mean "global time?"

Hi sir.

>>43443816
I speak Dusk dialect, an' I be proud 'ta keep speakin' it! Low goffic... What be it with youngsters an' changin' 'em tradishuns. Well, yer sky people are good an' all, but try 'ta learn a new way of speaking when yer as ol' as me, it ain't easy.

well... I mean that I live in a country where our clock is set to global time+2 hours. At my time zone's 4pm it would be 2pm in Britain, and 9 am in Washington DC for example

WHY IS CHIMERA NOT BEING FIXED?! WHY WE ARE OF SITTING HERE SCRATCHING ZHOPA, EH?

>>43444888
We are still waiting for necessary matheriels. They are bein'... Reqaiushishonned? By Nihae- Nihai... Ni-Ha-Y-O-An. Yer sky people 'ave some weird names.

>>43443816
HE SEZ AND INQUI-ZI-TOR IS AFTER WRIGGLES AGAIN!

>>43445124
She is not being of normal peoples, friend.

>>43445271
I see. The ears looked strange, but so do many others. Like... Well, yer. How do yer people get yer beard like that? I don't know what star magic it be, but I want me some, heh.

>>43443745
What are these threads? I keep on seeing them but I've got no idea.

>>43445240
I hope he knows mister I. I haven't received my letter, and its past the time I should answer. *sounds of ration pack being opened can be heard from inside*

>>43445379
I massage it every day with strong Vostroyan moustache oil. You may have spare bottle, if you like.

>>43445407
Generally just goofing around, nothing major.

>>43445430
What's dat box jawing fer?

Eh, prolly nofink

>>43445430
What's dat box jawing fer?

Eh, prolly nofink

>>43445407
<spoiler>http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Campaign:Penal_regiment_designation_/tg/</spoiler>

>>43445407
pretty much freeform roleplay, telling of penal regiment designation /tg/ in warhammer 40k universe. Most of the time not serious, it focuses on characters, their backstories, their quirks and how they react to other, just as unique penal guardsmen. If you want, you can join. If you want more knowledge, I can post links to archive and 1d4chan

>>43443745
Ah, shaddap, I've got a hangover!

>>43445584
'Ere. Try this. I made it meself! Shoulda ease up headache, although nausea will most likely stay.

>>43445479
Want some rations, sarge? People put some in every time they come to get ammo. No idea why, though.

>>43445617
*mixes it with more liqour*

Yeah that's just a fact of life...

so have any threads occurred since we took that depot?

>>43445675
Iz dere squig?

>>43445474
I'd like that. If yer want, I have me some Dusk fungus juice. Strong stuff, enough 'ta put da Inquisishar that first found me tribe under the table with one gulp, heh!

>>43445728
*opens crate* Nah. Just me. Though some cadians did run screaming 'monster'... Maybe I have a bunkmate here... Somewhere...

>>43445795
*finishes last of genestealer whiskey*

Oi, Gibbers! Got a present for ya. Wear it all the time...

*tosses over a heavy vest, safely secures switch*

>>43445534
1d4chan link would be nice

>>43443745
The Inquisition? Well we're bloody well screwed if he finds Gibbers. We need to keep him away from the Valkyrie

>>43445474
Hm...Sir, there is a minor bit of business I wished to discuss with you if you have the time. Nothing major I assure you.

>continues to drink tea.

>>43445693
Gary! How you been mate? How's the forest been treating you?

Also, none of my settings are saving for some reason now, does anyone know how to fix this?

Oh god emperor.
Oh god emperor.
I'm so dead.
SO dead.

>>43445859
Although KommandoInDisquise beat me to it, here it is
http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Campaign:Penal_regiment_designation_/tg/

>>43445868
Blegh, shitty. Woods are too quiet here on Cadia. Not enough violence. Starting to get blueballed...

>>43445840
*Puts it on* Thanks! Want a ration pack? Cadians leave some every time they try to borrow ammo from this box. Lemme see... Heavy bolter rounds. Figures their crates had something so uncomfortable to lie on...

>>43445926
It admittedly has been a bit dull just sitting around in the Chimera, which we should probably get to fixing, our Captain is not enthusiastic about the delay.
Of course we still need that turret, is the Depot cleared yet?

>>43445795
Nah, da 'monsters're are demons, not squiggly beasts

>>43445893
ALWRIGHT WOT ARE YOU DOIN ERE?!
STEP IN LINE, DESPITE DA FACT DAT A LINE IZ A WUN-DIMENSHUNOL ENTITY AND IZ DEREFOR IMPOSSIBLE TO BE INSIDE UFF

>>43446015
Damn my name-tag slipped off

Hey guys what's going on her-
>>43446001
BY THE EMPEROR!

>>43446015
>Gulp
HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW IT WAS A XENOS I JUST THOUGHT SHE HAD A SKIN CONDITION
>Blink blink
O-oh. You didn't...
>He falls into line

>>43446015
Test post, it says my post went through but i dont see it

>>43446001
Nah, bud I'm set...

>>43446007
Haven't explored the depot much, been in the woods, checking the perimeter. But, I did find a brewed up old Chimera in there. Hull is beyond saving, but the turret is ok. Damn thing even has an autocannon...

>>43446027
*puts hands in the air" whatwhatwha-... Oh. Is there something on my face? *wipes face with remaining (only slightly) mutated arm*

>>43446027
Never you mind him, kid...
>>43446029
*whispers*
He is absolutely an ork. But he seems to think he's human. I've tried to deal with him but no luck. Best we let an Inquisitor sort him out...

>>43446083
You're joking? If we can get that turret then we'll have two Autocannons, assuming we get the parts to fix the one back up on the ship. What do we need to get that turret off do you think?

>>43446095
Y-your arm!

>>43446129
B-but his arm is a-a-a-a
>He seems to be a lose for words and just points to Gibber

>>43446189
A cogboy would be best. After that fuck up with the other turret I ain't keen to play fixer-up again

>>43446203
What? Well, okay, I haven't cleaned my nails, but it can't be that bad... Can it? *Starts checking talons for dirt*

>>43446203
*smacks upside helmet*

Cool it kid, I'm serious. He'll be redeemed, don't you worry...

*shows detonator*

>>43446203
space dammit

>>43446250
but what if he messes with the rest of us?

>>43446214
You're right, though do you think the turret ring is salvageable off the wrecked hull? If so we could just cut it off with the turret and stick it on ours. Even grunts like us could do that and we need a new one anyway.

>>43446203
oh, a thing to mention, the page on 1d4chan is outdated, but gives the idea. For example, since it was written, Gibbers got the tentacle shot off

>A paper flaps up and smacks someone in the face, its orders that reveal a new back of 'recruits' incoming today

>>43446272
He's armless. Like that fucknugget Abaddon... now pick your vagina off the ground and stay frosty.

>>43446273
Mmmh, worth a shot I reckon...

File: eagle_of_Displeasure.jpg (25 KB, 320x218) Image search: [Google]

25 KB, 320x218

>>43446290
>Greg feels the gaze of Pic related on him

>>43446319
Y-yes sir!

>>43446378
DON'T FUCKIN CALL ME SIR!!! I'M HERE CAUSE I DIDN'T WANT TO BE AN OFFICER!!

>>43446319
Mhm, I'll grab the tools from the Chimera.

>ducks into the Chimera, returning with a backpack of tools, along with some whiskey.

You want some of this for later mate?

>>43446432
Sorry sir!

Rolled 14 (1d20)

>>43446432
AND OI IZ A EN-SEE-OH NOW GET WAAAARGHING YOU MEASLY LITTLE GROT!

ALROIGHT KNOW IT'S TIME TA GET TA DA FRONT LOINES AND KICK SUM DEAMON ARSE!
*kick*
Rolling to start the chimera with mad Orky power!

>>43446545
Yer scared, laddy? Hmm... 'Ere, 'ave this. *takes two small wooden statues from a pocket of his wheelchair and gives one of them to Greg* that be a little Empyrar-amulet. To protect yer. I made it meself when I heard of the great star spirit, I did.

>>43446545
Heres a tip for you if you want to keep all your teeth around here lad, there's only three people you call 'Sir', the Captain obviously, myself, although Sergeant would be prefered, or Commissars and anyone more menacing than them.
The Junior Commissar that was around somewhere....I'm not so sure about, the Captain seems to be ignoring him.

>>43446438
Yeah I'll take some. Not any good ingredients around here.

*grabs melta cutters and a welding mask*

>>43446605
Thanks you sir
>He puts ig in his pocket

>>43446628
Okay sir......

>>43446596
Chimera is wrecked fuckstick! And I'm going cause I want to, I only take orders from those I like!

>>43446545
Grrr stupid kid...

>>43446630
>pours half the bottle into a spare canteen and offers it to Gary.

Shall we be off then chap?

>>43446596
Oi'! Don't be touching my Chimera! She's still unarmed from that 'incident' with the Plasma Weapons!

>>43446667
Yeah let's get the fuck outta here before I get aggravated.

>>43446647
*Wheelchairs away looking at the remaining statue that he put on his paralyzed lap* you there, Ol' Lady need some fixin'. I'll have 'ta remake yer from some foreign wood if yer don't stop cracking...

>>43446664
S-sorry sir!

>>43446729
>sets off after Gary to the Chimera wreck.

What pattern of Chimera are we off to dig out anyway? I doubt we're lucky enough to get anything heavy.

>>43446899
Dunno, think it's the type they make here on Cadia. Be nice if it was from Graia though...

>>43446980
Eh, as long as the turret works I suppose it'll do.

Btw, is the Kronus-Pattern Chimera even a thing? It looks like it isn't but the internet is being conflicted....as usual.

>>43446842
Ration? Dont worry, i cleaned my claws before touching this one.

>>43446432
GARY! I RECOGNIZE YOUR MELODIOUS VOICE FROM FAR AWAY. I THOUGHT YOU WERE HERE BECAUSE YOU THREW A BEDPAN AT YOUR COMMISSAR?

>>43446545
OH LOOK A NEWCOMER.

>>43446842
STOP APOLOGIZING!
YOU ARE HERE ON THE GLORIOUS DUTY OF DYING FOR THE EMPEROR.

>>43446823
OI! CAN'T YOU HAVE A TECHPRIEST FIX THIS FOR YOU?

>>43446290
Attention all units.
It seems the archives and paperwork of this regiment is severely outdated. Care to give me a short update?

I used to try and keep track of the characters / events, but I got a job meanwhile and haven't had the time to do it properly since. Drop shit that happened here, I'll see it gets updated.

>>43447153
Those metal people? *shudders* they creep me out. B'sides, Ol' Lady here be human, an' me statue be wood. Those... THINGS... Wouldn't be willing to help, I reckon.

>>43447195
We have a Chimera now, two actually but the second one is screwed, we're now planetside on Cadia, Gibbers only has one arm now and the freshly repainted Chimera -Vostroyan Crimson- is now turretless and needs a new turret ring and turret because someone left a Plasma Gun and a Multi-Melta active and they melted them.

I am unsure if you were here when Captain Milhailovich took command and I guess made me his second, if not, that also happened.

There is certainly more but my comrades will have to fill you in on that.

>>43447216
WHO ARE YOU CALLING OLD? I ONLY HAD ONE REJUVENATE TREATMENT EVER!

>>43447195
regiment continued its journey in space, finally reaching Cadia. It got Lemming as a "Commissar" (as he found a hat), and Mikhailovich ordered to act as commander as well as liaison officer, and as far as anyone can tell, this assignment is permanent. Individually there has been many happenings, but I can tell only a little as I barely remember the last session, not to speak of older ones. There have been new guardsmen, most of which haven't been seen regularly, and I (player of Gibbers) made this new charcter, who is leader of a tribe on the Feral world of Dusk, rolling around in a wheelchair whining about youngsters and "Stinkin' chemykals", and his empty herb supply. Additionally, got convicted for heresy (which he continuously misinterprets as hearsay) as he believes Emperor is a "star spirit" and venerates "Ol' Lady" at least as much as him. And Gibbers got second mutation (a clawed arm) plus got his tentacle arm shot off his torso. Please add your character development for this and add things I forgot

Are we goin ta da frunt lines er what?

>>43447142
>O-0

>>43447153
YES MA'AM!

>>43447392
I was speakin' about me statue, it be made after Ol' Lady, our guardian spirit.

>>43447497

We'll be heading out when the Captain gives us our marching orders, although he seems to have vanished again. Odd but no matter, if you thirst for a fight there'll probably be cultists in the woods for you to hunt.

>>43447544
I suspect the good Sister isn't aware of your 'Old Lady', best not to tall about her around the Sister. She might get....upset.

>>43447216
Morning sir, Sapper Hurst, formerly of the 617th Imperial Engineers, at your service. I'm one of the new, ah, 'recruits', so to speak.

>>43447974
Oh, right. Yer sky people call guardian spirits 'saints' an' there be so many most don't know all the names, do I remember right?

>>43447986
Hello there, youngster... Wait. Yer a sapper? Yer collect sap an' use it 'ta build an' fix things?

>>43447986
Mhm, well with the absence of the Captain I suppose I'll be 'processing' you. What exact branch if Engineering do you specialize in, how many years have you served and what did you do to get reassigned here?

>>43448073
That's right, although there are a few that are famous enough to be reasonably well known.

>>43448135
Er, that's not... not quite...
...
Sod it, I'll give it a go. What do you need?

>>43447153
Oh hey Sis, good to uh, see ya. And yeah, except it was just a puke captain, and I threw it at him cause I didn't want to be promoted by him.

sorry for absence there

>>43448257
No worries mate, I'm just worried about how bad we're gonna fuck up trying to cut this Chimera's turret ring off. Calling two Nat1's.

>>43448172
I did bomb disposal for a time, but due to injury transferred to artillery maintenance, which I've been doing for the past few years.
I was reassigned due to, ah, unauthorised modifications to a CO's vehicle.

>>43448407
'Unathorized modifications' eh? So, you have experience with fixing armoured vehicles then? That's fortunate, but what's the catch?

>>43448201
I have me ol' statue 'ere, it be cracked. I want 'ta fix it, an' was 'bout 'ta file it, but then yer showed up, lucky me. I can pay yer wit some o' me fungus juice, straight from Dusk. But the chimera comes first, I'll keep good care o' Ol' Lady till it be fixed.

>>43448407
Nice. So give a hand with this turret will ya?

>>43448462
Alright Skelly, you ready to tackle this sumbitch?

*Comes out of the medical tent penal regiment! I am now ready to take you for questioning and physical check-up. First one to come?

Where have yall got to? Am I the only American in these threads?

>>43449212
*sees Inquisitor from top of wreck*

Oh, fuck all kinds of grox. I hope somebody hid Gibbers...

>>43448952
>>43449226
Well since our Sapper seems to have disappeared, we might as well......bloody hell, the Inquisitors up, no work getting done today.

>turns to Gary and whispers "Do we jump in the Chimera and haul ass before he finds Gibbers or do we just get the questioning over with?".

You might be the only American, I'm a Praetorian IRL myself, come at me.

>>43449212
>consumes more tea.

Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>43449283
This Chimera is fucked, remember? There's still some bodies inside the compartment. Well, pray Throne the Inquisitor is moderate enough... if he finds gibbers I'll explain he's being used as a one time explosive asset, which is true, cause those are some heavy damn incendiary charges I loaded that vest with...

Let's just keep working and maybe he won't bother us.

rolling to get turret off

>>43449212
Might as well start this. What be the worst that could happen, eh?

if yo decide to attend to the check-up, it can be roleplayed or you can decide your results. I'll just tell the result in a later post, until which, Gibbers time

Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>43449356
Not this one, the turretless one, it can still drive, plus I think the Captain's inside, so not like he can get mad at us for stealing it.

Rolling to help remove turret. Nat 1 incoming! It's over!

>>43449212
I LIKE TO GO FIRST, BUT I ALWAYS COME LAST.

Rolled 1 (1d20)

>>43449283
Ah, sorry for wandering off sir, just familiarising myself with the camp.

>>43448656
>>43449356
A chimera? They're, ah, a bit like manticores, right? I've worked on them a couple times, I guess I could give it a go.
rolling to assist Gary with the turret

>Nearby Bushes go rustle rustle
>PANIC
>>43449460
>Wow you sure mucked that up

>>43449460
shit

>>43449466
*Opens up the box and looks around to see the source of the unexpected voice*

Soldiers listen up! Since last time I managed to tunnel the entire area around our base, but I lost my map. None of you enters until I found the map. I'm pretty sure I've set up some deadly traps in them, but I can't remember where.

>>43449446
Ah, have some faith in yerself, looks like we did it. Oh and ok, but I haven't ever run from anything, ain't about to run from some Inqy.

>>43449449
*shine of lust in single eye intensifies*

>>43449436
I'll probably end up heading over to RP it out but by the Emperor what are you doing?! Gibbers will doom us all!
>PRAYER TO THE EMPEROR INTENSIFIES.gif

>>43449446
Come on......almost there.....

>dismounts his side of the turret from it's mount.

Yes!

>>43449460
Looks like ya fell in with the corpses, sonny...

>>43449507
*rushes over and slams box shut*

Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>43449460
Damned. Do you want to repair it or blow it up? Let a real technican help you.

>>43449522
Gibbers was always meant to die: I made him for the purpose of seeing how much you would learn of him before he had to go, what our regiment could tolerate. I'm pleasantly surprised he's still alive.

>>43449601
Thanks QM, but we got it. Mind using that augmetic arm of yours and helping haul it over?

>>43449637
soon as a convenient horde of Chaos heretics appears, I'll send Gibbers to his fiery redemption

>>43449641
Of course. Give me a second to adjust it..

>>43449561
*Gets his head hit* ow ow ow... Agh, now the buzzing is here again. Water, water... Ah, there it is. *pours it into ears, leaking some onto heavy bolter shells*

File: 1444188283646.png (1 MB, 1000x1400) Image search: [Google]

1 MB, 1000x1400

>Appears from the bushes dragging a large but tasty beast caught in a leg trap
Caught dinner!
...Wait, you aren't my unit.

>>43449637
Honestly a part of it that I just try to not be an asshole(And on several occassions fail miserably) so if killing the characters can be avoided, I'll usually take the avoid option. Of course if I didn't then I suspect my SW Imperial's PC kill count would be much higher only counting IC justified kills so I don't know what's better.....

>>43449641
Was that just the turret or the turret+ring we took off? I can't imagine the ring needing checks since it's just cutting a square around it and even Pleb-Tier Guardsmen can do that.

>>43449765
If you really don't belong to this unit run as fast as possible. Even the traitor legions are better than this. But if you want you can leave your gun and food here.

>>43449732
*Sends away Rogan and mumbles aloud while he writes* result... Further investigation... Deviant faith... "Old Lady aka. Dusk Hag... Possible Tzheentzhian manipulation, psychic probing shows no evidence. Alright. First one down. Next!

>>43449765
It's not mine either ma'am, but my unit got declared KIA and this was the closest one so, welcome to the club....

>taps his uniform jacket

.....I have spare club jackets if you want one. They're nice and warm.

>>43449816
Doubt it. Traitor legions are pretty bad. They just have good PR, I would know.
>>43449828
Neat. I probably got left behind. oh well. Probably stay here until I can regroup then.

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28 KB, 460x288

>>43443745
Hey Beavis, we're in a penile regiment.

>>43449774
yeah we definitely got everything we needed

>>43449765
Another Felinid. Great. Yeah, the QM gave you good advice just now. But keep your shit. We really don't need it.

>>43449825
Why is an Inquisitor honouring us with his presence, my Lord? Is the Emperors work to be done?

>>43449865
Ech, suit yourself....

>>43449825
Alright fancy pants, have yourself a look!
*sits down*

>>43449869
if somebody makes characters of them we will be truly complete

>>43449873
Another one?
>>43449916
I will.
>>43449825
Oh. You guys have an Inquisitor? You some kind of special forces?

Is it ok to just jump in and start RPing a character?

>>43449873
Alright then, just need to carry this over, weld it onto our Chimera then make sure the welds are airtight and we'll be good.
Then of course we need to go see that Inquisitor. I can't imagine it being pleasant.

>>43449865
Well then ma'am, you're welcome to stay as long as you need, provided you don't flee in terror. Just check the ammo box before you sit on it.

>>43449961
Yes, we are real special. Half of use are probably not even human and the other half consumes more alcohol per day than a Space Wolf.

>>43449961
Yeah, we had one who was a QM awhile back. And yeah, we're real fucking special alright...

>>43449970
sure is. That's how we all started

>>43449961

Aye, one of our Quartermasters is a Felinid, alright girl from the limited experience I had with her.

>>43449970
Go for it mate, pick whatever you want.

>>43449970
Just did, this reminds me of Mages Guild so im sure you'll be fine
>>43449982
I don't flee.
>>43449992
I consume three times the average guardsman's weight in raw meat every week, Does that count?
>>43450032
Neat.
>>43450048
We'll hopefully get along and not provide entertainment and fuel for horrible 'cat fight' jokes then.

>>43449970
it is encouraged
>>43449883
Mainly making sure there is no taint within your ranks. Speaking of which... Do you know of any individuals within this regiment who may be more likely than others to have been touched by chaos? Well, excuse me for a while... But I'll expect to have an answer when we are finished with this trooper.
>>43449916
So, let's begin. I will run analysis with this device here, and would you kindly tell me your name, rank and preference on honorifics.

>>43450075
Hmph, alright. Full name Garian Lawzom, rank... *checks tats* Sergeant. And honorifics? Don't have much use for em, fancy pants.

>>43450075
Botched with spoilers... Darn.
>>43450065
*Grumbles and raises the lid a few inches, then spots Kaht* ... Nice teeth...

>>43450162
>Toothy smile
I'm Kaht.

>>43450119
Alright. So, I'd like to know a bit about you. Do you enjoy war? Do you wish for something else? Do you seek enjoyment or peace?

>>43450065
Please ma'am, I was implying no cowardice on your part, and apologize profusely for any possible offence, I was merely saying that one must be partially mad to willingly stay here.
As for any jokes, inform myself or our Captain of any problems, they will be handled swiftly.

Marhabaan new comrades! I am assigned to you from accidental explodings of previous unit in service of Emperor. All misunderstanding!

I look forward to explode many enemy of Emperor with you!

>>43450075
Well, outside of the dude in the chest nobody seems to be obviously tainted. Then we have a Sergeant who paints himself purple, but I suppose thats some feral world stick.
And then there are those cats that were controlled by a Deamon some time ago and still piss in my armoury, but the other Quatermaster insists that we have to keep them.

>>43450178
Hal. They call me Gibbers. Nice to meet you Kaht.

botching spoilers intensifies, let's see if it goes right this time...

>>43450208
Do I enjoy war? You know where I'm from, Inquisitor? War is all I know, war is all I enjoy, war is the only thing I was ever made for! Though I guess if I ever did by some chance settle down, I'd sell weapons to responsible Imperial citizens.

>>43450327
I see. So no particular liking for bloodshe-
*Instantly breaks interview hearing the words "obviously tainted" and "Dude in the chest"* WHAT DUDE IN WHAT CHEST?! I SENSE CHAOS AND HERESY!

>>43450248
A Tallarn? All we need now is a Mordian and a Steel Legionare and a Valhallan and we'll have one from each of the major Guard Worlds. I approve

Mhm, alrighty then, just try to avoid blowing up our Chimera, we haven't even got it fixed again yet.

But on to processing. Military experience, years served and....we can skip the reason for reassignment eh?

>>43450226
Madness just means you enjoy a little fun.
>>43450264
Gibbers, Like those things they use to make burgers? Or Gibbers like gore?

>>43450388
Easy Inquisitor, we got us a little mutie in the box is all. He's harmless though. See that vest, and this detonator? Soon as opportunity strikes, he'll be redeemed

>>43450388
Going to do the decent thing and pretend the name says 'Inquisitor Verus Grevan'

>stands at attention

That would be 'Gibbers' Sir, they keep him locked in a box until they plan to use him as a suicide bomber. I don't know why Sir, as he predates my 'joining' this Regiment.

>>43450416
Gibbers, like a gibbering, insane wreck of a man. I think it's because of all the other massacre survivors went insane, because I don't speak gibberish.

>>43450388
Inquisitor Verus Grevan, Nametags go haywire now.

>>43450416
True, we all enjoy a touch of madness from time to time lass, but this Regiment is bloody nuts. However if you insist on staying then the least I can do is get you some refreshments.
Would you prefer tea, recaf or perhaps something alcoholic?

Rolled 2 (1d20)

>>43450390
I assume we've already lugged the turret over to the chassis?
Alright, let's attach this turret then. I'll, ah, try to get it right this time.
inb4 nat 1 again
rolling to connect turret hydraulics and wiring to chassis

>>43450508
I...see. Well my Nickname's origins are simple enough to guess.
>>43450520
You don't want to meet me drunk. Recaf works.

>>43450390
I serve for 2 years in armoured fist squad for mighty Tallarn 78th! Jump out, throw demo charge at xenos, jump in, drive away. One day, I throw not so good... Now I am here for exploding enemies of Emperor!

>>43450521
the worlds shittiest engineer

>>43450521
By the Emperor what are you doing?! I think we should leave it be till Gary done with the Inquisitor, once the Inquisitor resumes the interview. Or until Gibbers eats the fellow.

That's horrible luck mate, still I'm not once to talk, I'll probably Nat 1 next.

Speaking of, Gary do you reckon a backpack of tools should give a bonus to fixing the Chimera? It's up to you because I don't mind either way.

>>43450550
That sounds great. Making the enemys of man explode was always my hobby.

Fuck the emperor.
Fuck sororitas, acquire crowns.

>>43450593
absolutely it should. I'm all for realism. But not too big a bonus, like 3 should be enough

>>43450461
>>43450448
Hmph. I'll give him the benefit of doubt. I'll verify his allegiance before making my choice. *walks over to the box and forcibly drags Gibbers into the tent*

>>43450618
Fuck the emperor? That's heresy!
INQUISITOR! HERESY!

>>43450593
I... I think I'll step away from the chimera now.

>>43450547
Very good ma'am.

>climbs into the Chimera, returning with a mug of hot recaf.

Hope this works for you.

>>43450550
Accidents happen mate, long as you don't make a habit of it then you'll be fine.

>>43450642
>Siiips the recaf
Tastes like shit.
Just like mum used to make.
>Toothy grin

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>>43450638
Fuck u.
Heresy is forwards, imperium is backwards.
Embrace the chaos.

>>43450610
Mash'Emperor! One day it was my dream to join rough rider regiment and explode xenos with lance of detonation.

>>43450642
When is weapon assigned? Unit strip me of all weapons. Can you believe; 'Al'raheez, you are not to be trusted' they say!

>>43450618
Now, there are very few things that rustle a Praetorian but this is one of them. I am.....ABSOLUTELY FURIOUS. I'll take your limbs you Heretical chucklefuck!

>>43450622
As the Emperor wills it! I shall distribute the tools immediately.

>>43450639
When we try next you can borrow some of the Chimera's tools, should make the job a bit easier.

>sets the toolpack next to the Chimera's hull.

>>43450664
Time to test this baby! *draws Inferno Pistol and aims at Anonymous*

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>>43450736
By converting to chaos i have increased my xenos purging tenfold.
Skulls for the skull throne, blood for the blood god.

>>43450638
WHAT?!
>>43450618
>BLAM! BLAM!
TWO DOUBLE HERETICAL REMARKS EARN TWO EXECUTIONS! BY TWO WAYS! GUARDSMEN, BURN THE CORPSE AND SET THE ASHES ON FIRE WITH PROMETHIUM SO HE BURNS TWICE!

>>43450736
Yeah, that might work a bit better than this, ah, rusty spanner I have that I'm pretty sure is the wrong size.
so is that +3 to chimera fixing rolls now?

>>43450772
And back to the Warp you go. Greet your Gods scum. *shoots at the heretic*

>>43450652
Apologies ma'am, we have very little good recaf left and we're saving it for the Captain. Plenty of Govenor Grey though.

>>43450715
Hm, wait here....

>jogs over to the wrecked Chimera and clambers in.
>climbs out and joga back over with a pair of Lasguns.

Take your pick, Standard or Carbine?

>>43450824
U cant purge the truth inquisitor.

>>43450840
Sometimes my squad would drink blood because they never gave us enough water to drink. Trust me, Its fine.

>>43450846
>BLAM
Truth is subjective, as wise men have said! Now begone, Daemon!

>>43450833
Don't worry about it, we need to stick together here mate.
Da, 3+ to repair rolls. Bueno.

>>43450846
The ultimate truth is that our God Emperor is eternal! YOU ARE NOT!

>>43450824
At once Sir! Lads, find me a Flamer!

>>43450840
Ah, nice carbine like we have on Tallarn! Good for running and sneaking.

>gleefully grabs the carbine before fiddling with various parts of the weapon's casing

By the Emperor. thank you!

...do you have any explosive device?

>>43450846
Still alive or what? Let me get my Plasma Gun.

>>43450934
I am not a daemon.
I am the voice that makea you question why you march with your dead god into oblivion.
Whos own sons rebelled against him to bring freedom to humanity.

>>43450887
Ouch, why would your Regiment not be issued adequate drinking water?
You needn't worry about that here ma'am, Penal Regiment or not, we Praetorians have standards.

>>43450954
For explosives, you'll need to see the Quartermaster, all I have is the frags on my beltkit.

>>43450954
Explosive device? Hold on, I might have an old, ah, demolitions charge in here somwhe- say, why did you get transferred to this regiment again?

>>43450954
.........Mikhailovich? Is that you? I'm getting the weirdest feeling here. I don't even.

*Wanders back around fiddling with something that looks mildly flamey, two combat servitors with plasma guns floating over his head.*

>>43451052
Accident with armoured fist squad brother! All misunderstanding really. You also like to explode enemy of Emperor?

>>43451033
Cause racists of course.
Some people try to accuse us of being mutants and all that.

>>43451098
forgot my name!

>>43451073
I'm afraid not, I've never seen this thread before today...

>>43451095
ATP is best Techpriest. 10/10 would learn of the Machine God from, no Tech Heresy

>>43451145
> tech heresy
Improving and making new technology.

>>43451095
Hey, Cogboy! What do I need to do to get an augmetic eye?

>>43451145
ATP would be considered nutso by 75% of the Mechanicus for helping squishy meatbags as much as he does.

>>43451175
Does adding a lascannon and Krak grenade launcher to a Chimera's turret count as improving or not?

>>43451185
*Looks up at you from his flamer attachment and sticks it onto his mechadendrite before burbling machine code unhelpfully.*

>>43451115
Disgraceful, but as I said we'll put an end to that here. If you need anything speak to myself or the Quartermaster, depending on what you need.

>>43451135
My apologies then, was just the IC style of speech reminded me of him. Well that and that he used to be the only other guy that used >
for actions.

>>43451185
A medic. We got new supplys. I already some stuff...äh...disappeared somehow, but an bionic eye or two should be still there.

>>43451213
Variations on a theme.
At least the dark AdMech and hereteks try.

*Returns to Gibbers* now... Tell me what you follow, and why I should not destroy you... *withdraws into tent, and only up close the talk can be heard and even then, it is hard to discern words*

>>43451213
Disregard Mechanicus, acquire Guardsmen Comrades.
Excuse me, erm....

>turns to the other Guardsmen.

Oi', anyone know what rank our resident Techpriest is? Feels wrong just calling him 'Cogboy'.

>>43451213
Cogman! Please may I be borrowing your tools for upgrading lasgun? Not tech heresy! Promise!

>>43451214
Haha, fair enough. I'm imagining Al'raheez talking somewhat like Rolf from Ed Edd and Eddy crossed with Sallah from Indiana Jones

>>43451214
Alright. I don't actually know my official rank, My squad only respected the Commissar and our leader.
Personally I use > for actions cause thats what we do in Mages guild

>>43451303
*Burbles in binary and waves his mechadendrites around, flashing various tools from the ends*

>>43451311
> rank: slave to the corpse god

>>43451363
>grasps at something that looks vaguely like a pair of pliers and starts fiddling with the barrel of the lascarbine

Yes, this will be a true weapon of a warrior of Tallarn!

>>43451311
Hm, well we'll start you off at Corporal then, you can choose your own squad assignment, truthfully I think the only two choices would in the Regimental Command Squad, which means you get to sit in the Chimera with my lads, or with Gary, the Catachan you might have seen around here.
I'd make sure to ask him about that first though, he rather enjoys his independence.

>>43451500
I enjoy my independence too. Maybe I'll talk to him.

>>43451271
gotta go sleep now, so Gibbers will be interrogated for a longer while. Have fun guys, if the thread is still up at that point I'll return when I wake up

>finishes fiddling with the lasgun, appearing very pleased with his work despite having apparently done nothing

>>43451500
Where am I assigned nice Praetorian sir? Perhaps I ride in Chimera again, ready to throw charge of demolition into midst of naughty xenos?

You cant just ignore me.

>>43451245
Alrighty, thanks QM. I'll owe you a drink or two if you can make sure I get it.

>>43451554
*Burbles unhappily and takes his mechadendrite back seeing as how all the tools were attached to him.*

>>43451585
Thank you cogman! I will remember this act of kindness

Seriously guys.
You could all be gods if you have the will and the strength, instead your being coralled like sheep.

>>43451528
As you wish ma'am, he should be available soon.

>>43451554
I'm afraid not lad, myself and the Captain banned anyone from using weapons in the Chimera outside of the crew after a Stormtrooper melted the turret.
It should be alright if you climb out to throw the explosives first though.

>>43451571
Speaking of that turret, what say we get it mounted then get pissed mate?

>>43451724
*Burbles in a mildly upset manner at the mention of his turret melting*

>>43451724
Good call partna. It'll go that much faster if we can get that damn cogboy to help out.

>>43451750
Indeed, perhaps we should stick to ballistic weapons with this turret. If someone manages to melt the -entire turret- while using an Autocannon we have bigger problems.Hm, I don't suppose you could mount the Grenade Launcher from the old turret on the new one? I was impressed with your handiwork.

>>43451528
Hey! Cat-girly! Got something to say?

*clangs around inside chimera*

>>43451815
Supposed to choose where to go, Was never much for vehicles so that leaves you, and what I assume is recon work or somethin.

>>43451806
We'll still need some coolant though, autocannons get damned hot too.

>>43451806
What about a plasma cannon?

>>43451724
No no, same rule in Tallarn army, no problem! I am expert at jump out, throw charge, and jump in. Haha, most of the time I hit target! Kaboom!

Who do I ride with? You? Or grumpy man of jungle?

>gestures towards Gary

Yo, you kids wanna buy some heresy?
Its good shit man.

>>43451840
Yeah I do whatever I feel like, pretty much.

*hammers a panel into place*

But recon is something all Catachans are damn good at. I reckon you are too, being all... catty. But just how good are you?

>>43451843
Does the barrel have a cooling jacket already installed or should we get creative? It's not like we haven't jury rigged more important parts before.

>starts taking measurements for the hull plating.

>>43451912
*checks it*

Yeah its got one, but it's empty. Must be a crack in it somewhere. The cogboy can take care of that.

>>43451875
I don't care if you come with me, just be able to shut up when you have to.

>>43451861
No! We already lost one turret due to plasma weapons getting hot, we aren't risking another one.
Autocannon and a Grenade Launcher should be fine.

>>43451875
You'll be riding with me, Gary is usually out scouting the enemy positions anyway. He's just in the Chimera now because he's a great chap to have around.

*starts hammering some metal pieces into form*
Soon we will be operational again. Let's hope the eternal war isn't over when we are ready.

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE BLOOOGKDBAJSLSPLM!!!

>>43451965
>He's a great guy to have around

*gives a raspy, sardonic laugh*

>>43451965
>>43451806
*Burbles disgruntledly but moves to go wail on... discuss things with the machine spirit of the turret.*

>>43451989
you know, you can always take the role of a sneaky enemy that's stalking us, rather than shitposting. Been awhile since Gary had a good hunt...

Rolled 19 (1d20)

>>43451900
>She gestures at the large carnivores corpse still with a leg trap on it, The one she drug in with her
Pretty good if I say so myself. Grew up on a deathworld.
>Rolling for the size of whatever she brought in

>>43451954
Do not be worry man of jungle! One day I will teach you the Tallarn way of ambush!

>>43451965
Mash'Emperor. What is current situation? We fight xenos? Heretic?

I've probably got another hour before I've got to call it a night guys but this is actually pretty fun.

>>43452020
Not shitpost if its heresy corpse worshipper.

>>43452047
*sneer*
Which is what, bragging the enemy to death?

>>43452023
*raises eyebrow*
Throne damn, chickadee! You aint half bad at all. Give me any parts you don't want to eat, I need ingredients for my moonshine still.

>>43452047
This is Cadia, so our main enemy are the foul forces of chaos, but we are in an rather calm area, since our equipment isn't ready.
I still fortified the position a bit and set up some tunnels under our base.

>>43451994
You don't give yourself enough credit Gary. I dare say you woulf be a very likely Command Squad candidate of you didn't assault Officers with bedpans.

>>43452018
Techpriest is a great guy too, don't quite understand why he bothers to be around us Guardsman that much though.

>>43452023
By the Emperor she hunted and killed a Grox the size of a Bio-Titan.

>>43452047
We'll be fighting Heretics once we get our marching orders. Although I'm still curious as to what's in that Depot. There were Traitor Astartes in there after all.

>>43452177
Sure thing. If anyone wants to cook up part of It, I don't think i'll eat it all.

>>43452197
You mean there is a depot that could be full with antique astrates and maybe deamon weaponery?!

>>43452177
We will see grumpy jungle man! My regiment lead war of nerves and terror upon the Tau that leave them have nightmares of Tallarn face!

>>43452178
Thank you sir, if you are needing deployment of land mines/booby traps, I am happy to be serving.

>>43452197
I have not encountered many heretics in my time with the 78th. Only heretic who embrace 'Greater Good' and turn back on glorious Emperor!
...does anyone have lho sticks?

>>43452283
Who could possibly have taken the iho sticks?
AHAHAHA! Just as planned!

>>43452197
Heh, funny you mention that, Skelly, cause I actually was in a command squad back before the 79th Catachan got damn near wiped out on some shithole feudal world. Damned if I can remember its name. Well, we brought the Tau's number way the fuck down before they overran us. I don't even remember the furious state I was in. Long story short, this prissy clownshoes regiment rolls in and takes all the credit, absorbing myself and a very few survivors. Put up with it a few years, but now I'm here...

>>43452197
*Burbles as he comes back from the re-upgraded turret, now with twin bolters and a Krak missile launcher instead of a grenade launcher. Makes several gestures that seem to indicate he does what he feels like.*

He'd also technically be an Enginseer. If anyone cares.

>>43452217
Thanks. Maybe you should stay after all...

>>43452283
Well I can definitely appreciate those sentiments. Fuck the Tau square in their cunt faces, by Throne! Alright, I'll let you bum one of my lhos...

*flicks one over*

>>43452217

We could get a fire going and roast it, fresh food would certainly trump our usual rations. Any objections?

>>43452226
>shrugs and turns to the toolpack.

Maybe, all we know is that the Traitor's wanted it, so we killed them.
Me? I hope there's a Baneblade in there.

>>43452177
>climbs onto the Chimera.

I've got everything marked out here Gary, think we're ready to start mounting this thing?

>>43452360
I planned to.
>>43452367
As long as I can eat my share raw.

>>43452353
Well hey, that's pretty damn good, cogboy. Did you fix the crack in the autocannon's cooling jacket?

>>43452353
Good work. Praise the Omnissiah.

>>43452367
Hell yeah, I could use some fresh meat.

Heh, it'll be some general's ass if a Baneblade got left here, that's for damn sure.

And yep, let's get this sumbitch hooked up!

>>43452383
*Burbles and holds up the old cooling system, then the parts from a faulty plasma cannon that he used to replace the Autocannon's cooling.*

>>43452391
*Burbles happily*

>>43452360
Many thanks jung-... Gary! Shoot you up to hell, haram blue bastards.

>>43452367
>>43452378
May I partake in meal? I have small pack of Tallarn spices here... very hot if you wish to try!

Well, I will keep looking for my lost map. The best defence is of little use, when you forgett where your defences are.
*disapperars into a hole in the ground*

>>43452445
Think your Vox is broken there bud.

>>43452317
Can't say I blame you mate, if some random Regiment just waltzed in and took all the glory I'd be right pissed too.

>>43452353
Bloody warp.....that Techpriest has mounted Twin Bolters and a Krak Launcher on this turret alongside the Autocannon! He must be an Enginseer, only they are this useful!
I-I-I care......

>>43452378
I can't see their being a problem with it.

Rolled 20 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>43452391
>>43452445
Praise the Omnissiah indeed!

>>43452426
Alright, grab the tools and lets get cracking.

>>43452468
The more the merrier mate! We'll all gather round and make something spectacular with that meat.

>>43452445
Good going cogboy, I'd give you a drink if you were still able to partake.
>>43452468
Heheheh, I don't care what you call me, dune boy. But yeah, I like spicy shit, throw it on that meat.
>>43452487
Yeah that shit will happen. Least I'm not having to put up with them anymore.

But by Throne, this cogboy does a hell of a job!

>>43452563
Wot. I am not sure what to make of roll.

>>43452563
*dons goggles, lights lho with welding torch*

Let's do it...

>finishes up his lho stick and prepares a section of the meat with the hot Tallarn spices

>>43452595
Did we just make the best barbecue ever?

*knock knock*

>>43452563
*finishes work*

Ooooh... that is one sexy machine now. I think I've got a hard-on...

>>43452630
The roll was for fixing the turret. I think we just fixed the turret so hard that we just aced the Barbecue without even realizing we started it

>>43452666
Hahahaha, my bad

Emperahu Akbar... that turret gleams with the light of the God-Emperor himself!

>>43452637
Who's there?

>>43452666
Fix turret so well it roasts the meat?