The last empires of Man have crumbled to dust, and barbarism has descended upon the darkened universe...
But one woman shines as a beacon of triumph - Cassiopeia, Queen of the Cosmos!
Higher and higher up the bleak and wind-swept rock she climbs, and Cassiopeia gives silent curse to the consequences of her wager!
Word had reached her far ear that in his den of lubricity, the vice-ridden crime lord Longorus had acquired a map to a treasure said to unlock the secret of immortality!
So closely did Longorus hold the map that Cassiopeia found herself pledging not only her rocket pack but her ship as well, tokens of her faithfulness that she would recover the treasure and deliver it to him in return for a share of the reward.
Thus sated by her demonstration of intent, Longorus bade his servant to provide her the map, for it was not so great a distance from his palatial pleasure-house, though two of his men would accompany her.
But thought the reward for this treasure was astounding, Cassiopeia's gaze was drawn to her real quarry...
...the kidnapped Princess of Arabesh, whose father would pay for her safe return a planet's ransom! So great was her worth that it dwarfed the prospect of the fabled treasure sought by Longorus!
>>37464371
My god, riches beyond reason...
Upon seeing the princess stil alive, Cassiopeia agreed to the task, for such a deed would serve to draw her into the grotesque Longorus's inner circle, from where she might ply his trust against him and abscond from his sordid realm with the princess!
At last, the high peak where the treasure is said to lie can be seen...
...and Cassiopeia's sensitive ears detect the muffled grate of metal as the pair accompanying her draw their blades!
"We have been thinking," rasps the one, "Why let you have the reward when we may claim it ourselves?"
=======
Equipment check:
* One spyglass
* One burner
* One space helmet
Roll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please! To roll, put dice+1d12 in the Options field!
Rolled 9 (1d12)
>>37464435
Quick, gain some distance and fire on the rightmost cur!
Rolled 12 (1d12)
>>37464435
Groin kick the bastard!
Rolled 8 (1d12)
>>37464435
>>37464435
Burner blast Mr. Green, he seems to be the brains behind this treachery.
If he dies, we should intimidate Mr. Cyclops into following us.
>>37464508
is a 12 good or bad? if it is good, ouch
>>37464557
I think it is good unless we should roll lowest...
>>37464557
It's the best.
>>37464557
12 should blast his yarbles through the top of his head with sufficient force to deorbit a passing space plane.
Quickly, Cassiopeia flings herself back against the rough stone of the mountainside, gaining precious inches and the instant she needs to train her burner upon the alien-
- and snaps off a charge with perfect aim!
>>37464765
Yeah!
KRA-THOOM!
The burner ignites the strange gases of the Lizarian's breathing apparatus, and flares with an explosion which scores the very mountain!
>>37464811
Holy smokes!
>>37464811
Haha, that's great.
Thinking to prey upon Cassiopeia while her attention is elsewhere, the Oculoid mercenary draws back his sword to deliver a killing blow, but suddenly finds cause to hold his strike!
>>37464811
CASSIOPEIA OF MURDER
Rolled 3 (1d12)
>>37464870
take him hostage
Rolled 8 (1d12)
>>37464870
I roll to Intimidate sexily
Rolled 6 (1d12)
>>37464870
smoke him
Cassiopeia, however, is under no such stricture!
>>37465072
Pffffhahahaha.
"Mercy, please!" gurgles the Oculoid.
What will you do now?
Rolled 6 (1d12)
>>37465108
>rape
Rolled 8 (1d12)
>>37465108
Mercy is for the... ah, what the hey? We might need the extra set of hands.
>>37465108
Rape.
Rolled 9 (1d12)
>>37465108
>No mercy!
Rolled 8 (1d12)
>>37465108
Intimidate him into giving you his clothes, so you can masquerade as him and infiltrate the palace when you return
>>37465108
Disarm him and make him carry whatever we need carried. And make sure to keep our guard up!
Flushed with the red fervor which washes over her in times of battle, Cassiopeia feels a stirring within...
... and seeks to discover for herself if the old rumors of Oculoid procreation are with merit!
Rolled 12 (1d12)
>>37465516
not worth the oculoid std
And thus sated...
>>37465564
That's a perfect shot. Just perfect.
... Cassiopeia finds herself in possession of a suitable costume for her return to Longorus's pleasure-palace!
The Oculoid's armor, however, is heavy and cumbersome, a feature that may prove boon or burden upon this high mountainous terrain, and Cassiopeia ponders the merit of stowing it here for the descent.
What will you do? Put the Oculoid armor on now, or leave it here for the trip back?
Leave it. We look awesome.
>>37465680
Hide it somewhere, our agility shall protect us
Goddammit, i wish I had still my Legos
Rolled 4 (1d12)
>>37465680
bury it
>>37465680
Leave it. It would be a crime to cover our legs.
>>37465734
Get more.
>>37465734
>>37465774
Start with the power digger set. It's super cheap and you can build so many things with it.
Stowing the Oculoid's gear within the confined safety of a natural cavern, Cassiopeia rakes her burner's charge across the rocky face, sealing the armor until her return.
And thus does she resume her climb, goading the stripped Oculoid in her lead!
>>37465899
Okay, now nobody forget about it. I don't want to be enduring that Occuloid STD of Robotic Brain Spiders or something for nothing.
Higher and higher climb the uneasy pair, and finally do they near what both take at first for the summit, though once they dredge themselves to the lofty point they find one last great obstacle that must be overcome...
... a yawning expanse of nothingness, some ancient fissure now collapsed!
>>37466252
>>37466308
What have you done?!
>>37466308
Cassiopeia looks like she either wants to fuck him or throw him in the fissure.
Far down within the gorge lies a skeleton, bleak testament to the danger. Cassiopeia's eyes dart to the rocky wall, sheer yet still within her power to climb, perhaps. A tangle of fronds may make a suitable rope.
Deep in thought, Cassiopeia is nearly caught unaware as a shadow looms behind her-
- and the pale hand of the Oculoid shoves her forward!
Roll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please! To roll, put dice+1d12 in the Options field!
Rolled 5 (1d12)
>>37466390
>rape
Rolled 9 (1d12)
>>37466390
Evade that puss ass bitch and give him another boot.
Rolled 3 (1d12)
>>37466390
Grab his arm and swing around. Let him see what it's like at the bottom.
Rolled 1 (1d12)
>>37466390
Pull the guy down with you
Rolled 3 (1d12)
>>37466390
Grap the edge of the pit dramatically and confess our love!
Then shoot him when the dumbass lets us up.
>>37466453
Fuck you I already got a 9.
Desperately, Cassiopeia grasps for the cliffside, but finds no purchase and tumbles helplessly into the black pit!
>>37466533
>>37466554
Nigga were did her gun go
The Oculoid wasn't in any position to grab it as seen in >>37466390 and it couldn't have fallen out of her hands without falling into the pit
>>37466515
Seems the majority has it. >>37466554 And the majority did poorly.
>>37466587
Probably dropped in the pit.
>>37466587
Guns aren't going to save you from falling, anon.
>>37466612
But it should've dropped into the pit and I ain't seeing no gun in the pit
>>37466636
The pit is dark you autist, calm down.
>>37466675
Nigga I can clearly see the ground
fite me
Swimming through blackness, Cassiopeia claws for freedom and surfaces to waking thought, and rises blearily...
>>37466699
Come at me, bro!
... and finds her burner missing! It was in her hand as she fell - and at this thought Cassiopeia sees that a spongy mat of vegetation has served to break her fall, and keep her from the same unhappy fate as the skeleton she glimpsed before the treacherous Oculoid sent her plummeting to this place!
Roll a d12 and link to this post, please!
Rolled 10 (1d12)
>>37466871
Rolled 7 (1d12)
>>37466871
Taunt the Oculoid so he doesnt run
>>37466836
>>37466871
I FUCKING TOLD YA SON
Rolled 3 (1d12)
>>37466871
Rolled 10 (1d12)
>>37466871
Rolled 9 (1d12)
>>37466871
In quick order, however, her keen eyes spot a glimmer in the shadow of a crevice, and immediately the familiar shape of the ancient weapon is clear!
The Oculoid mercenary, however, seems to have fled, though it could not have been long since, for the dark sky still hangs above her pit!
Clouds part around one of this fierce planet's satellites, casting its light down to her, and Cassiopeia sees that the trench spreads out underground, perhaps for some distance! What lies inside, however, may prove more dangerous than the fall, for though the rocky walls are high and treacherous, their destination is at least familiar!
Roll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please!
Rolled 10 (1d12)
>>37467152
Ready our weapon, enter cave, be wary of cave trolls.
Rolled 6 (1d12)
>>37467152
Swagger in there.
Rolled 6 (1d12)
>>37467056
use your lasergun to light up the dark place!
Rolled 8 (1d12)
>>37467152
Prepare to cave in!
Never hesitant in the face of uncertainty, Cassiopeia readies another charge of her burner and carefully creeps down the rough stone corridor...
... until the blackness is absolute and she must trail her fingers along the wall to be sure of her step! For ages it seems she pads through the dark, until a glimmer emerges in front of her and resolves itself-
-and Cassiopeia emerges newly-born from the earth!
As she turns to gather her bearings, she is struck for a moment, for before her stands the very rock for which she has sought!
>>37467800
fucking groundhogs
>>37467845
>cutting lego plates
dear god
So does she climb again, wearier now in these last few feet than she had been at the base of the mountains far below, but as she pulls herself to right upon the highest point, a smile escapes Cassiopeia's lips as she spies what lies waiting for her...
"Welcome, Cassiopeia, daughter of the stars," intones a beautiful woman as she reclines languorously upon the great and weathered chest, one bare arm draped upon it while one bare leg extends out, playfully slipping across the ground.
Roll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please!
Rolled 11 (1d12)
>>37467983
Well this is a blatant trap. Still, civility never hurt anyone. Ask her who she is and what she's doing up here.
Rolled 4 (1d12)
>>37467983
She's obviously trying to seduce us, so let's roll with that
>>37468002
A different kind of trap, perhaps
Rolled 11 (1d12)
>>37468037
No. This is hardly the time for sex.
>>37467983
Just try talking to her, see if we can get that treasure.
>>37468059
>>37468002
Welp, talking civilly it is.
i gotta ask OP where you got that oculoid head
No stranger to the tongue of diplomacy, Cassiopeia lowers her burner in a symbol of peace, and bids the strange woman to speak of this treasure which men say might grant that most sought and unattainable goal!
>>37468219
some Mixel sets have the head-eyes
>>37468279
oh shit thanks
LEGO QUEST
"I am Phenysidyne, last of the line of those sworn to protect this treasure from those who would use it for their own ends. Uncountable centuries has it remained hidden, until now."
"I am sworn by the oath of my sisterhood to slay any who would try to take it from me," Phenysidyne states as she raises a golden blade between the two...
"...but I cannot bring myself to harm one so beauteous as you!"
What will you do now?
Rolled 10 (1d12)
>>37468477
put the moves on her and take the treasure in the heat of the moment
Rolled 10 (1d12)
>>37468477
intercourse must be performed
Rolled 4 (1d12)
>>37468477
Bonk her, then steal it when she sleeps.
Sensing the opportunity, Cassiopeia shoves the other woman back against the wooden crate, drawing a surprised gasp of protest...
... that Cassiopeia hears with her own ears as she removes her helmet to feel the atmosphere of this world upon her face!
>>37466795
>>mould lines
"What-?"
A startled protest escapes Phenysidyne's lips before they are sealed by those of Cassiopeia! The priestess stiffens for a moment, but caught off-guard as she is, concedes to the intrusion..
>>37468949
They're sexy, right?
... and though she seems to respond not at all, and proves herself a task for which all others may find their efforts thwarted...
>>37469027
We're pretty much the best after all.
... at last she finds herself at the brink, and focuses her full attention on Cassiopeia's ministrations!
Thus Phenysidyne is caught unaware as Cassiopeia entwines her fingers 'round the other woman's thigh and flings her from the chest!
The hinges swing freely as she forces the heavy lid upward! At last, the fabled treasure that may unlock the secret of immortality-
Startled, Cassiopeia forces herself to grasp the object and pull it forth, and as she holds it to the moonlight she looks on wonderingly, for she holds in her hand a heavy and expertly-wrought key!
What now?
>>37469280
Uh, is it a key to someone's heart and/or labia?
Well whatever, if that's all there is inside, let's scarper!
Rolled 6 (1d12)
>>37469280
best get running before she gets up
>>37469280
Look for a lock of course.
Rolled 9 (1d12)
>>37469280
Kiss her again.
Rolled 4 (1d12)
>>37469280
demand answers
and perform more intercourse
Before Phenysidyne can recover, Cassiopeia turns and sprints across the narrow path and leaps into the air-
- for the gorge which thwarted her before is easily surmounted from higher ground!
Key and burner gripped in steely hands, she crashes amid the fronds at the edge of the gap and drags herself up, but Cassiopeia allows herself no time to rest, for if her ruse is to run its course...
... then she must hurry to the lair of Longorus!
>>37469796
don't forget your ill-gotten disguise
Some time later, a figure arrives at the pleasure-palace of Longorus, and is given entrance to the most depraved center...
... but the guise draws naught but languid glances from those in attendance in this squalid court!
On all sides is celebrated debauchery in all its forms-
- yet the figure strides forth seemingly oblivious to the myriad of lascivious spectacles!
The beckonings of a Buxomite temptress draw no more than a curt nod...
... but then three figures stand in the carpeted path, barring the way and clutching in their hands ancient but no less fearsome electrostaves!
"Ah, Macula, you have returned!" calls one of them. "And you have recovered the woman's burner! Come, join us in our carousal!"
Roll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please!
Rolled 6 (1d12)
>>37470784
Go with it for now? I hope the guy we're pretending to be didn't talk much.
At once serving slave is commandeered, and over her shriek of protest a goblet is forced into Cassiopeia's hand!
"You must be parched from the jaunt! And what of Trossk? Has he met his end as well? Tell us what has happened!"
The men crowd around with cruel joviality, and the Buxomite caresses the Oculoid's pilfered helm!
Roll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please!
Rolled 5 (1d12)
>>37471153
TOILET BREAK
Rolled 1 (1d12)
>>37471184
reroll for this
Rolled 8 (1d12)
>>37471153
Interrupt. Say we have news. The key!
Cassiopeia fills her mouth with saliva and burbles out a deep-throated plea, that Maculus must retire for a moment.
"Don't be ridiculous, Maculus," comes a voice from beyond the edge of the visor's field of vision...
... and an electrifying jolt sends Cassiopeia sprawling to the floor as the man laughs "You haven't yet finished your drink!"
Rolled 3 (1d12)
Around her the trio of men close in, and the one clad in ancient power armor raises his electrostaff for another debilitating blow as Cassiopeia grips the burner in her hand!
Roll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please! To roll, put dice+1d12 in the Options field!
Rolled 11 (1d12)
>>37471688
turn around and shoot, obviously
Rolled 4 (1d12)
>>37471688
Good lord they take their drinking seriously here. Drink the drink!
Rolled 4 (1d12)
>>37471688
Roll to the side and blast him!
With lightning reflexes Cassiopeia flings herself to the side and snaps off a charge of her ancient burner, catching the man directly in his chest! He utters a death-cry as blood sprays from the impact and he staggers backward to collapse upon Longorus's plush carpet...
... but the crack of an electrowhip draws her attention...
Rolled 9 (1d12)
... and the two men set upon her!
Roll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do!
Rolled 5 (1d12)
>>37472077
Shoot the electrowhip such that the burner blast reflects off and burns the red man's moustache off his face. He will cry in embarrassment and run away!
Rolled 5 (1d12)
>>37472077
make gun shooting
Rolled 11 (1d12)
>>37472077
Dodge and fire burner while looking cool
Rolled 8 (1d12)
>>37472077
Shoot and dodge
"I think not!" laughs one of the pair as he swings his club, battering Cassiopeia's burner out of her hand!
"This shall quell her spirit," shouts his friend as he tosses his hair and flicks his wrist, and before Cassiopeia can react-
Rolled 7 (1d12)
>>37472077
A Samba sabre? It takes two to tango!
>>37472539
>her
We're still disguised as their eyeball friend.
>>37472604
I think they know, anon.
- he lays the electrowhip across her, and even through the Oculoid's armor she feels the stinging shock, so tremendous that her body stiffens and her vision explodes in a mass of starlights!
No scream escapes her lips, for she can scarcely draw breath!
Roll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please!
Rolled 10 (1d12)
>>37472649
Grow some ovaries and shake it off! Then grab the whip-dude's hair and yank him down with it!
Rolled 10 (1d12)
>>37472649
Scream loudly. go full banshee.
Rolled 6 (1d12)
>>37472649
do a flip roll, grab a nearby drink (or even an empty cup), toss it at one of them to distract and stun them, dive for the burner and shoot them!
Rolled 12 (1d12)
>>37472649
get up and use the red dildo-looking thing in >>37472467
to beat the shit out of them with.
>>37472715
Let's do this, eh?
>>37472887
Too late.
>>37472676
"Eh?"
The whip-wielding man, expecting soft prey, is caught unsuspecting as a hand stretches up and entwines about his hair...
>>37473048
but that roll is lame, surely LQ wouldn't ignore such an interesting 12-roll?
...and the last thing he sees is the Oculoid's boot rushing up at him before his world ceases forever!
His companion rushes forward, swinging the club, only to have it snatched from his grasp with seemingly supernatural speed! He has but a moment to favor Cassiopeia with a foolish grin...
...which Cassiopeia is pleased to remove!
"Kill her, you fools!" rages Longorus. "She is only one woman!"
>>37473117
LQ does what comes first, and he doesn't fudge the dice!
But Longorus overreaches his power, for those who serve him in battle now number only his personal bodyguard and a single robot which charges across the carpet swinging its own electrostaff!
Roll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please!
Rolled 11 (1d12)
>>37473433
Take the electrostaff and stab the robot with it!
Rolled 1 (1d12)
>>37473433
Parry!
>>37473541
Ahahaha
As the robot rushes down on her, Cassiopeia casually lets slip from her fingers the club...
... and with perfect guile kicks it beneath the robot's outstretched foot!
As the robot reels and tries to right itself, it finds itself no longer in possession of the electrostaff, and can only watch as above it stands Cassiopeia...
... who raises one delicate hand to the visor before her face...
>>37473933
What's that torso from?
... and plunges down the electrostaff in a shower of sparks, searing its way through the robot's metallic skull!
>>37474025
Awesome as always. Do you happen to have an online photo comic somewhere?
As Cassiopeia retrieves her fallen burner and turns a level gaze upon Longorus, he blusters and sputters, straining to move his ponderous bulk from the sofa!
"Kill her, you idiot! Slay her now, quickly!"
"I think not, my lord," the bodyguard says, as she lowers her staff and stands to the side, offering a clear path from the carpet. "I fear I must now resign."
>>37474321
>"I fear I must now resign."
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
"What?" rages Longorus. "I will have you both flayed! I will have you locked in the pleasure-cages! I will-"
What will you do now?
Rolled 1 (1d12)
>>37474372
shank longorus
>>37474407
Well shit. Now we're going to suffocate under his bulk.
>>37474407
you ass
>>37474407
HOW DID YOU FUCK THIS UP ANON
>>37474447
>>37474443
>>37474422
AM SORRY!!!
maybe he'll asspull like the priestess coming back
>>37474321
PFFTHAHA
>>37474407
Now the fatass is going to beat us up.
"Yaaaaah!"
Longorus's words become a roar of pain as Cassiopeia drives the electrostaff into his bulk and scores a horrifying gouge upward along his bloated midsection!
>>37474737
AHhhhhhhh
asspull by Op told yeah guys
>>37474757
He didn't ask for a roll.
Strained to near-exhaustion from her trials, Cassiopeia allows herself a brief moment of joy, for she has won the Princess of Arabesh from Longorus's clutches, and may now retrieve her rocket pack and spaceship to depart this pl-
Suddenly, the sounds of alarm ring out, as the pleasure-palace shudders with explosions!
>>37474807
he just asked for an action....
AHAHAHAHAH....see guys it all turned out ok
>>37474757
Now look at what you did, asshole.
>>37474813
"Come, leave your ship and you may still keep your life!" shouts the former bodyguard as she reveals a secret passage hidden behind a mosaic.
Roll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please!
Rolled 3 (1d12)
>>37474924
Take the princess and follow!
Rolled 2 (1d12)
>>37474924
Run to ship
>>37474965
>>37474956
"Wait!" the princess cries, "your rocket pack is here-"
"Ayiii!"
The princess only has time to scream as part of the roof collapses down upon her!
Roll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please!
Rolled 5 (1d12)
>>37475215
help princess
Rolled 3 (1d12)
>>37475215
Eh. She'll be fine.
Cassiopeia hefts the stones away to reveal the princess's body, and though she lies unconscious still does her body draw shallow breath!
Rolled 3 (1d12)
>>37475215
Check and see if she's alive, and help her if she is
The princess did not lie, and with her last words Cassiopeia quickly discovers her rocket pack!
Carrying the unconscious princess in tow, Cassiopeia races through the unknown corridor seeking her ship as the walls threaten to collapse around her!
Roll a d12 and link to this post, please!
Rolled 1 (1d12)
>>37475485
Rolled 1 (1d12)
>>37475485
Now this is Lego Quest.
>>37475533
>>37475497
Oh cruel turn of fate.
Rolled 1 (1d12)
"Going somewhere?"
Maculus steps from the shadows to bar Cassiopeia's way, and in his hand glows an electrostaff!
Roll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please!
Rolled 10 (1d12)
>>37475619
Shoot him and keep walking.
Rolled 2 (1d12)
>>37475619
"No."
Rolled 5 (1d12)
>>37475619
Throw the princess at him!
Without pause Cassiopeia tosses the princess over one shoulder and snaps off a charge of her burner-
- and the Oculoid's head vaporizes as readily as a piece of ice cast into a spaceship's exhaust!
"Now, little princess," Cassiopeia laughs as the pleasure-palace crumbles in her wake...
"We shall see if you are worth the trouble!"
"And if not..."
"...perhaps this key really is worth something!"
>>37476383
Looking a little cloudy out tonight.
And that makes nine hours even by my count! Time well spent! I hope everybody else had fun.
Rolled 1 (1d12)
>>37476449
No stay pls.more more stum more more
