Across the countless stars and worlds of a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, unrest seems to rule the minds of the fledgling Galactic Empire. Troops are constantly being recruited on every inhabited planet to serve as protectors of the peace, as power vacuums result in the rise of criminal warlords, rebellious uprisings, and general anarchy in the absence of the Republic's decommissioned Clone armies. It's a time of conflict, a time for heroes, and a time for you to stand up for what you believe in.
But first: Are you a boy? Or a girl?
First post will always decide.
>>37034013
boi :3
Boy.
>>37034013
Two boys.
>>37034024
You are a young man, strapping and brave. As a human, the most common race among the cosmos, you have no outstanding qualities or detriments, except for one skill you think you're particularly good at. What is it?
>Strength/Endurance
>Dexterity/Speed
>Intellect/Wit
>Social Skill/Seduction
>>37034013
>First post will always decide.
This is a bad way to do it
OP. Better to give it a five minute voting period. First in will lead to shitty decisions and butthurt.
>>37034059
Smart idea, thanks. I'm new to hosting quests. I'll just use discretion over a few minute period and see what the masses want.
>>37034058
Strength.
>>37034058
Dexterity
>>37034058
>Intellect/Wit
I wanna be a Naval officer.
>>37034058
>Social Skill/Seduction
>>37034058
Intellect/Wit
Imperial Navy all the way.
>>37034058
>Dexterity
>>37034239
>>37034282
You find that as you've grown, you've always had the sharp thought processes needed to keep you out of trouble. School came easy, and explaining your absences from the local academy that your parents paid for was as simple as paying off witnesses with a few credits.
But education does not a man make. His environment is just as if not more important in his upbringing. So where do you live?
>Tatooine, a hard and unforgiving desert planet. Opportunities to leave are few, and the local Hutt lords make it difficult to thrive
>Coruscant, an immensely populated and dense planet. There's a lot of career opportunities here, and entertainment is commonplace
>Corellia, a planet well developed with a medium sized population.
>>37034369
>Corellia, a planet well developed with a medium sized population.
Grab that renegade streak, so we can better understand the minds of the rebel scum.
>>37034369
>Coruscant
>>37034369
>Corellia, a planet well developed with a medium sized population.
>>37034395
>>37034448
You were raised on the grassy plains of a rural region of Corellia. The rain was a daily occurrence and you find that the sensation of the cool dew was the most calming thing you have ever experienced. Your family was middle class, your friends were cultured, and your dreams went through the stars. You love living here, but for some reason a call seemed to echo through your heart for you to join a cause greater than yourself.
An Imperial Recruiting station opened up recently just a few miles from your house. You go with your friends up to the tall and dark building, a monolith meant to symbolize the might of the Empire, though its full strength hasn't been fully realized yet.
The first steps inside seem to echo. You and your friends note how cold it is. A thin man wearing the battle armor of the new Legion of Stormtroopers sits at a desk inside and asks for your name.
What is your name?
>>37034548
Imize Yongha
>>37034548
Baron Dwayne Johnson
>>37034548
Rell Berus.
>>37034632
Not very Corellian.
>>37034652
We are not The Most Electrifying Man in Space Entertainment.
>>37034652
The most electrifying man in space entertainment.
If you smelllllllllll....what the Baron....is cooking.
>>37034548
Rell Berus.
>>37034548
Voting for this : >>37034652
Because we are going to run circles around Soontir Fel
>>37034548
I like Rell Berus
>>37034743
>run circles around Soontir Fel
>in a Star Destroyer
I'll admit it'd be funny to see.
>>37034785
*southern voice*
Them Baron boys are getting into heaps'o'trouble in Hazzard Sector.
*shot of an ISD-II soaring over a canyon and Baron Dwayne Johnson's head out the window yelling WAAAAAAHOOOOOOOOOO*
>>37034666
>>37034712
>>37034751
The man sniffs. "Rell Berus." The words come out awkwardly, he hasn't lived on this planet for long. He has the pale skin of a man from Corescant; someone who has been bleached by screens and the neon of greed. Your name seems to be an unwelcome flavor in his mouth. He's obviously bored with his job.
As you fill out the necessary forms, you reflect on what has brought you here. There's obviously been the desire for adventure, as well as the resentment at being kept here for twenty years with your parents, but there's a greater goal in life. You have a dream. You want to accomplish something great, something that people would remember you by.
Why are you joining the Empire's grand military?
>To vanquish the Rebel Alliance, a scummy and dishonorable new faction that kills and terrorizes the citizenry (leans Lawful Evil)
>To earn a seat of honor and do your family proud (leans True Neutral)
>To adventure with your friends and to make new ones in a noble pursuit (leans True Good)
>To bring peace, and justice to this new Empire (Leans Lawful Neutral)
>>37034816
As an addendum, this doesn't solidify the direction your character goes, alignment-wise. He's young, impressionable, and will encounter a many great things that will change his life forever. This is just an evaluation of his current attitudes towards life.
>>37034816
>To bring peace, and justice to this new Empire (Leans Lawful Neutral)
If we manage to survive into the appropriate era, I wanna throw in with Pellaeon.
>>37034816
>To earn a seat of honor and do your family proud
Let's Gotthard Heinrici this shit.
>>37034816
first choice should be Lawful Good
Rebel Scum
>>37034865
Well said.
>>37034865
>>37034885
Except the Rebels don't actually target the citizenry.
The Empire on the other hand, well there's a reason the guys on /swg/ occasionally make jokes about "Parkin' like Tarkin".
So if we went LG, we'd probably wind up leaving the Empire pretty quick.
>>37034816
>>37034857
We gonna be Pelleaon's right-hand.
>>37034914
Actually, multiple Rebel cells did.
But you're a rebel and a traitor, so your word means nothing, scum.
>>37034816
>To bring peace, and justice to this new Empire (Leans Lawful Neutral)
>>37034816
>To adventure with your friends and to make new ones in a noble pursuit (leans True Good)
Y'all got the whole galaxy to fuck about in and you're worried about politics?
>>37034938
>multiple Rebel cells did.
[citation needed]
>>37034999
The Imperial News Network, scum.
>>37034816
>>To bring peace, and justice to this new Empire (Leans Lawful Neutral)
>>37034816
>To bring peace, and justice to this new Empire (Leans Lawful Neutral)
>>37034999
Are you doubting the good men and women of the imperial media?
Looks like we've got a traitor, boys! Ask him how it feels to be a deranged fearmongering seditionist.
>>37034857
>>37034918
>>37034939
The subject of why you joined was brought up often among your friends and family. It's a reason you're passionate about; giving to the greater good and restoring stability to billions of people, when they are beset by poverty, terrorists, and the evil of men who take advantage of the weak. You don't see yourself championing some sort of ulterior cause beyond that; peace through the power of the industrial might of the Empire will ensure that no dangerous elements will oppress the people.
You haven't been given a chance to choose your career path yet, the same way that many entries into the Empire's military do. You are sent to a training facility in the outer rim, a fairly recent practice that puts you in the school that you excel in after a lot of evaluation by a jury of officers, who will inspect and observe you for a period of six months, after which you will be chosen for one of three schools. Though, one factor they might consider is which school you want to enter.
Pick the branch of the military that you want to enter:
>Imperial Army, having the chance to be an infantryman, a tank driver, or someday, if you are particularly skilled, an AT-AT operator. Rumors of the Dark Troopers, an elite among elites, give pause whenever they are mentioned. The strong and the fast will find a home here, guarding vital areas and taking the fight to whoever challenges the order of the Empire
>Imperial Navy, the true strongarm. With the construction of massive ships beyond the scope of anything conceived previously, the honor and prestige given a crewmember of these ships is something to die for. Only the smartest among recruits are sent to this school.
>Pilot School, a well known hotspot for the impulsive and brave. The most strongheaded of recruits will join Pilot School and undertake dangerous missions in the deepest depths of space, attached to the imperial Navy for support. These men and women fly the newest in fighter technology.
Navy all the way.
>>37035105
>>Imperial Navy, the true strongarm. With the construction of massive ships beyond the scope of anything conceived previously, the honor and prestige given a crewmember of these ships is something to die for. Only the smartest among recruits are sent to this school.
>>37035105
>Pilot School, a well known hotspot for the impulsive and brave. The most strongheaded of recruits will join Pilot School and undertake dangerous missions in the deepest depths of space, attached to the imperial Navy for support. These men and women fly the newest in fighter technology.
>>37035105
>Imperial Navy, the true strongarm. With the construction of massive ships beyond the scope of anything conceived previously, the honor and prestige given a crewmember of these ships is something to die for. Only the smartest among recruits are sent to this school.
>>37035105
>peace through the powerAnd yeah, Navy.
>>37035105
>School came easy, and explaining your absences from the local academy that your parents paid for was as simple as paying off witnesses with a few credits.
Oy fucker I have heard that one before
>no storm trooper option
>>37035105
>Imperial Navy, the true strongarm. With the construction of massive ships beyond the scope of anything conceived previously, the honor and prestige given a crewmember of these ships is something to die for. Only the smartest among recruits are sent to this school.
Time to get our very own Star Destroyer!
>>37035105
>Imperial Navy, the true strongarm. With the construction of massive ships beyond the scope of anything conceived previously, the honor and prestige given a crewmember of these ships is something to die for. Only the smartest among recruits are sent to this school.
Awwwwww yeah. We gonna get us a Carrack and kill some flyboys.
>>37035137The technology of peace!
>>37035105
>Imperial Navy
>>37035181
That's army.
But do you want to get shot? I don't want to get shot.
>>37035181
Stormtrooper would fall under Imperial Army Option as they are the core infantry of the Empire...
>>37035105
>>Imperial Navy, the true strongarm. With the construction of massive ships beyond the scope of anything conceived previously, the honor and prestige given a crewmember of these ships is something to die for. Only the smartest among recruits are sent to this school.
>>37035105
Imperial Navy
We need to modify the fuck outta a Carrack or Lancer and then fly circles around Fel....for the lulz.
And then turn Wedge Antilles into the new Hobbie Klivian.
>>37035105
Navy
>>37035212
>>37035213
odd, I remember hearing they were a separate branch from the army
>>37035189
>The Empire handing out SDs like candy
Maybe we'll get an old Venerator if we're lucky.
>>37035213
Actually, the Stormtrooper Corps are the elite.
They're pretty much the Empire's version of the Rangers.
>>37035245
>not thinking long term
>not wanting a sweet, sweet Victory.
>>37035243
I believe that was retconned along with most of the EU.
>>37035277
Can we skip the canon arguments? Just this once?
>>37035117
>>37035124
>>37035136
>>37035137
Should have expected that.
You try explaining that you want a slot amongst the Ensigns of the Navy to the recruiter as you hand in your forms as well as the processing fees. He laughs and tells you to wait your turn.
Your friends talk amongst each other about how they'll all enter Navy school, you included, and that you'll venture among the stars, dispensing justice and surveying the raw might and size of the battleships.
You have a day before the next shuttle goes into orbit and then to the first training grounds. Between the broad packing list and the goodbyes, there's not much else to do, except...
>Hit up the local bar and get hammered
>Go for a nighttime walk in the rain
>Spend the time with your family
>See your girlfriend, one last time
>>37035243
I've always read that as "Branch" as in Artillery, Infantry, Armor, Logistics, Aviation, et cetera, rather than as Army, Navy, Air Force, Coast Guard, Marines.
>>37035277
OP made reference to the old Legends depiction of Corellia (which has NEVER been seen in a non-Legends source), so we can assume at least some elements from Legends are being used.
Rolled 35 (1d100)
>>37035299
>>See your girlfriend, one last time
Boyfriend
>Another SW quest with the MC being in charge of a Stardestroyer/ship.
O/U: 4 threadsI'm no hating, its just SW quest tend to not last long
also, try not fuck us too hard when we drop the ball
>>37035299
>See your girlfriend, one last time
>>37035299
See your girl
>>37035299
>>37035326
I'm down with boyfriend.
Hell, if we're going to be Kirk we won't get hung up on species, so why gender?
>>37035326
>>37035299
This, boyfriend
>>37035299
>See your girlfriend, one last time
She's going to turn Rebel after we leave, isn't she?
>>37035326
anti-boyfriend vote
>>37035326
>>37035343
This.Lets have him be youngerreally young
>>37035299
>See your girlfriend, one last time
>>37035326
We're male.
>>37035353
Not like we'll have to look her in the eye when we kill her. Capital-class weaponry is delightfully cold and impersonal.
>>37035353
If she does..
>>37035375
>>37035343
>>37035326
Yes yes yes
>>37035299
>>37035326
Supporting.
Are we entering the magical realm now?
>>37035406
Depends.
Do you consider romantic partners magical realm? If so, yes.
>>37035326
>>37035343
>>37035349
Fuck off SJWs
>>37035299
We're going to see our GIRLfriend
>All this samefagging
>fag captain
you gonna put your foot down OP or are you going to let the trolls magical realm the quest to death before it even starts?
>>37035432
And this is why quests can never have any variety.
>>37035299
>>See your girlfriend, one last time
>>37035426
I agree. Why are the samefags so against playing an omnisexual?
>>37035406
>>37035424
>>37035432
I don't think those words mean what you think they mean.
>>37035398
>>37035402
Not interested. So, no.
>>37035299
Don't let the same-fagging Faglord fool you OP.
We want to see our Girlfriend.
We are not gay.
>>37035442
Then you can run a quest with what you want.
Or you can accept that your choice isn't the majority.
>>37035458
>>37035432
>>37035426
>>37035424
Kek. Stop samefagging so obviously. Why are you so insecure?
>>37035458
>We are not gay.
Having one boyfriend during college does not a gay make.
>>37035299
>>Go for a nighttime walk in the rain
>>37035472
Says the anon samefagging for the boyfriend.
I want QTG to go back to ghostposting on moe.
>>37035299
>See your boyfriend, one last time
>>37035343
>be Kirk
Two things here.
One: Kirk didn't actually bone all that many space babes. Chekov was far more of a horndog than the good cap'n.
Two: Human High Culture, nigga. Even if we personally aren't spacist, those around us are, and dating an alien would be bigger career suicide than having a vagina, at least pre-Endor. Once Pellaeon's in charge though, the spacism goes away and we can find ourselves a cute Zeltron girl.
I'm not writing gay smut you fucking fags
>>37035472
...
>>37035511
Thank you, OP
>>37035326
>>37035343
>>37035349
I'll roll with it. No ERP.
After hours of packing up your belongings and discussing your future with your parents, you step outside to call Keth, your significant other from a town over. He knows you've been wanting to make this decision for a long time, and supports you, but he wants to see you, one last time before you ship off.
You meet in one of the fields outside of his town, and the rain drizzles into your eyes as you try to reason out a future with him. He's been there for you for years now, helping you through troubles in school, through destroyed friendships, and even when you let yourself go for one night and slept with another, he took you back because it was young love.
He mentions that the chances of seeing each other again for the next several years is next to nothing. There's a lot of options you can take.
>Promise to spend your wages with him so that you can visit each other. Keep in mind that interstellar travel is expensive, and you'd have little to no time to explore beyond your assigned duties. If you are in the Navy or Pilot School it will be even harder due to the extent of travel and the prohibition of people on the Empire's ships
>Break up. It's easier to never talk again.
>Make a promise. Five years, you'll come back.
>>37035511
ur a weiner
>>37035542
>no tripcode
>chargen
>magical realm
you did this to yourself OP
>>37035542
>Make a promise. Five years, you'll come back.
Most dramatic potential. Also, you might want to look into getting a trip.
>>37035542
>>Make a promise. Five years, you'll come back.
And now the anti-gays troll the thread to oblivion.
>>37035105
A passionate and just leader is on the front lines with his brothers. The pilot school!
>>37035507
I heard the Galactic Empire is less xenophobic in new canon. Depending on what the QM decides we could bone some hot Togruta chicks.
>>37035542
>Break up. It's easier to never talk again.
Realistically, we're going to be assigned to a ship right out of the Academy. We're not going to be able to come back, so such a promise is empty.
>>37035542
Break up. Long distance never lasts and you're holding him from moving on.
Cool, a gay/bi protag.
That's pretty damn rare. Kudos for going with it OP.
>>37035542
>Break up. It's easier to never talk again.
It'll be easiest on the both of us this way.
Maybe we can keep in contact, but that's a big maybe, and it's likely we're going to be half a galaxy away.
We can't ask him to swear off companionship all that time, and equally, he can't expect us to be strong that long either.
>>37035542
>Make a promise. Five years, you'll come back.
>>37035511
>>37035542
>Break up. It's easier to never talk again.
And this is why OPs need a trip.
Because any ol' faggot can impersonate if they just namefag. So we don't really know if this is even the real OP here.
>>37035588
>That's pretty damn rare.
Probably because it invites MASSIVE shitstorms. You think waifuwars are bad? You think husbandowars are worse? Imagine having BOTH AT THE SAME TIME.
>>37035542
>Make a promise. Five years, you'll come back.
what would be the empire's outlook on homosexuality anyways?
>>37035645
Demagogues I imagine
>>37035581
They're also even more lolevil than in Legends otherwise, so pick your poison.
>>37035645
Nothing mentions it in Legends nor NeoCanon.
>>37035645
Probably some kind of supremely negative 'don't ask, don't tell' attitude.
>>37035645
Sheev is all about seducing young men to the 'dark side'.
>>37035645
I'd hope they're a little more concerned about the burgeoning rebellion than whose dick is getting sucked.
>>37035583
>>37035587
>>37035591
>>37035610
You break the news to him. You don't want to pursue anything further; the time and the emotional strain of being together in name would kill you.
He begins to cry. You try explaining that it's the most practical solution. You're both better off starting new lives, experiencing the universe in all its wonder. You simply can't be held down anymore.
You realize that you're coming across as harsh. You were never good at explaining your emotions.
He slowly sinks to the ground. He's very young, barely out of the public school. All he's known is you and your companionship, and while he understands that you need to leave and be a new person, the sudden break by you is hurting him worse than either of you expected.
The rain blends with your vision as you look up, trying to reason it all out yourself.
You eventually turn and walk to your speeder, away from Keth.
He becomes a dot in the distance.
contd.
>>37035542
>Make a promise. Five years, you'll come back
I honestly quite like the idea of gay protagonist, you never see them on 4chan or even in the Star Wars universe. Gonna be fun to try to seduce lord Vader and to deal with anti-gayprejudice
>droid captain
>now gay captain
They used to be British space nazis...
>>37035751
>Gonna be fun to try to seduce lord Vader and to deal with anti-gayprejudice
This is why you never see it.
Because retards like you decide to make "HAVE I MENTIONED THAT I AM HOMOSEXUAL TODAY?!" the entirety of their character.
I'm actually cool with us being gay, but we need to Agent Smecker this shit. It's just a part of the character, and not even that important of one in the big scheme of things.
>>37035729
Fuckin harsh man
>>37035803
>waagh i'm 12 and my life is over
He'll get over it
>>37035751
>never see them on 4chan
Bull fucking shit
>>37035751
>Gonna be fun to try to seduce lord Vader
That's why you don't see them. Because you make a caricature of a character around only one character trait and push it into everything to the point where it just pisses everyone off.
>>37035803
Yeah, that's pretty rough.
>>37034052
I wonder if Anon#3 had even the slightest inkling of how right he would turn out to be.
>>37035751
>>37035752
>>37035789
And honestly guys I don't see us as gay. We just had a boyfriend once.
We're still the ambitious Imperial loyalist we always were, but not bound to only be attracted to one particular kind of character.
>>37035751
this is why gay QMCs never last
>>37035729
The day has finally arrived. You wake up to the soft gray of the winter season and put on your clothes, gathering the last little tokens of memory that you think you'll need.
The trip to the transport station takes little time. Thinking about Keth was painful, so you avoided the idea and that still image of him, collapsed in the cold and wet.
Your friends are there waiting for you. They heard about Keth and offer some small words of encouragement, and as you load yourselves into the shuttle the words quickly become that of excited young men, envisioning their future.
The trip itself isn't long; just up to the outer orbit and then onto the Light-SpeedCraft that will take you to your training grounds. You don't even know what planet it's on, but that's ok. Everything's an adventure.
Among your friends, talking to and with you on the journey, you're closest to one. He's been with you through thick and thin, and has known you since you were a baby.
>Baarad, a loud and boisterous lad that encouraged your trouble-making when you were young.
>Alto, a quiet and intelligent young man that made smart decisions for the group.
>Jevva, meanspirited and brooding. He thinks, often, and everything he's done has been selfish or demeaning towards others, excepting your group.
>>37035867
>>Jevva, meanspirited and brooding. He thinks, often, and everything he's done has been selfish or demeaning towards others, excepting your group.
Jemma.
It's a girl.
>>37035867
>Jevva, meanspirited and brooding. He thinks, often, and everything he's done has been selfish or demeaning towards others, excepting your group.
practice for dealing with higher ups
>>37035879
This
>>37035867
>Baarad, a loud and boisterous lad that encouraged your trouble-making when you were young.
If we're the analytical one, we need a gutsy one to spur us on to action, so we don't get caught in an overthinking loop.
>>37035867
>>Baarad, a loud and boisterous lad that encouraged your trouble-making when you were young.
>>37035867
>Jevva, meanspirited and brooding. He thinks, often, and everything he's done has been selfish or demeaning towards others, excepting your group.
He is the perfect scapegoat in case we error on our quest.
>>37035867
>Baarad, a loud and boisterous lad that encouraged your trouble-making when you were young.
If we're the type to join up for making the galaxy a better place, Jevva doesn't seem like someone we would get along with.
>>37035867
>>37035879
Seconded
>>37035879
I'll second that
>>37035879
Agreed
>>37035867
Alto
>>37035867
>>37035879
I'm down, if OP doesn't mind us fucking with the gender of his suggested characters so much.
>>37035879
>>37035867
Jemma sounds cool, I can second that
>>37035879
>>37035911
Is this shit going to happen every time?
>>37035845
>>37035821
For somebody with a strong moral sense, tough decisions like that are the ones weigh on the mind for a long while.
It's harsh but I like it, there's depth there.
>>37035879
I wouldn't be bothered if that won either.
What the fuck is going to happen when OP tries to introduce a droid NPC?
>>37035867
>Alto
Also, seducing Vader, really!?
Fucking why stop there, lets interrogate chewbacca with our cock while we're at it because the entire galaxy now has to be either trans or gay.
You guys realize you're potentially fucking her over if OP is using Legends, right? I mean if she goes just about any other branch she should be okay, but the Navy was big on the whole NHM thing.
>>37035954
We tinker with it and give it a sassy overweight black woman personality.
>>37035954
Then he won't be chosen.
>>37035958
Fuck off with that retarded hyperbole
>>37035969
Also install extra joints at the neck for side movement.
>>37035867
>Baarad
>>37035969
>it's just a wireframe battledroid with better neck motions
>still talks about its curves
>>37036001
The target area is only two inches wide. It's a small thermal exhaust port, right between the ribcage and the hip bone.
>>37035975
>Fuck off with that retarded hyperbole
Not hyperbole. Just fucking sick of quests where everything has to be gay-ed up "because you never see them before and we can make all the canon characters gay for us lolhowrandumb"
>>37036055
And how many quests has that happened in? Becauseoutside of lesbiansI count nearly zero
>>37036055
That shit happens with girls waaay more often.
>>37035879
>>37035911
>>37035919
>>37035921
>>37035927
I don't mind the changes in gender, since they're really not that important to the story. What I won't accept is waifushit or erotica. Rell is a well rounded young man, not a denizen of 4chan.
>Back to the story
Days pass. You meet some other enlistees, all young and excited to put their name in the history books. Their days are spent playing simulations, arguing, physically training, and generally having their last bit of fun before the work begins.
Due to your disposition towards intellect, Rell spends a good amount of time in the simulators, training for a variety of scenarios including basic tactics, general arms maintenance, and fixing mechanic puzzles, as all enlistees must do.
The hours are long despite all of the activities, so you find yourself bored for nearly the entirety of the trip. It's a relief when the ship finally touches down.
Jevva (who happens to be a girl, and no, her name is not Jemma), sidles up next to you for the down ramp. She's obviously angry that it took so long, but at least it's over and you two are ready to take the first steps into the rest of your lives.
The ramp sinks, slowly. It's dark outside, and the air is cold, but dry. A single man stands outside, at attention, in the intimidating gray of the Imperial officer uniform.
He yells, crisply, "Form! Up!"
>Stand near the front, chest held high
>Stand in the middle, hope he doesn't notice
>Stand in the back, close to your friends
>>37036098
>>Stand near the front, chest held high
>>37036067
>And how many quests has that happened in?
At least one anon wants to turn this quest into one, seeing as they want to try to seduce Vader and also fight to be openly homosexual.
>>37036098
>Stand near the front, chest held high
>>37036098
>Stand near the front, chest held high
>Stand near the front, chest held high
>>37036098
>Stand in the back, close to your friends
>>37036084
>>37036067
And it's just as fucking retarded when it's girls/lesbians.
remember GuP: LGA? Lesbian Harems almost ruined that shit completely
>>37036098
>Stand near the front, chest held high
Don't fall for the mind games. If they go full Red Phase, remember that the goal is to see who gets cowed and who can keep their cool while they've got a scary man with a funny hat screaming in their face. Follow instructions quickly and precisely, and give everything we've got.
>>37036098
>Stand near the front, chest held high
>>37036098
>Stand near the front, chest held high
>>37036156
But people sure complain about it a lot less when it's girls.
>>37036114
They were probably just joking, either way that is a huge overreaction.
We can stop this anon, we don't have to do this. OP will be the intermediary, it's clear that most everyone here doesn't want to be over-the-top about it.
>>37036185
Damn right they do.
Personally? I think we need to be concentrating less on the orientation thing and more on the story.
Also preparing our first letter home.
I'll start.
Dear mom and mom...
>>37036214
Can confirm, was the person who said it, laughed my ass off at the shitstorm that came after.
>>37036237
kek'd
>>37036112
>>37036123
>>37036136
>>37036138
You quickly run to the marked areas where you are to stand at attention. You practiced this, between all the simulations. Arms back. Chest out. Chin up. Shoulders wide. You look the image of Imperial professionalism, and feel it too. Your heart is pumping harder than it should. You're scared, excited. This is the first of many chances to impress your superiors and to secure a spot in the Navy.
You want that spot.
He walks up and down the rows. Silent. Entire minutes pass, and he says nothing beyond looking each recruit in the eye, then examining their posture. Surprisingly, he takes a while before coming to you.
He stops. Looks you up and down. He's not moving, not looking at anyone else. Just you.
"Why," he slowly begins, "Does this recruit wish to serve my Empire?"
>Answer with a practiced statement regarding your loyalty and desire to serve the citizenry
>Answer with a snappy comeback, "To kill, sir."
>Say nothing, look straight ahead.
>Chuckle
>>37036267
>>Answer with a practiced statement regarding your loyalty and desire to serve the citizenry
>>37036267
>Answer with a practiced statement regarding your loyalty and desire to serve the citizenry
the full metal jacket reference would have fit better in the army imo
also, what's the gay equivalent of oreo/coconut? the dykes have lipstick lesiban
>>37036267
>Answer with a practiced statement regarding your loyalty and desire to serve the citizenry
Because it's the truth. >>37035105
>>37036267
>Say nothing, look straight ahead.
>>37036267
>Answer with an honest statement regarding your loyalty and desire to serve the citizenry
It's not gonna endear us to the Drill Sergeant/Drill Instructor/Whatever-the-fuck-the-navy-calls-'em-I-was-a-dogface-I-don't-know-shit-for-dick-about-seamen, but it's in-character if we're being the optimistic guy who truly believes that the New Order makes things better for the little guy.
>>37036267
"For the security of the Empire and it's citizens sir!"
>>37036267
>Chuckle
>Then full on laugh
"Day upon day this question has assailed me, from childhood, to the academy, to the military training, and now here."
"My answer has grown wider and longer the more have seen the Empire, growing expansive as the Empire has."
Continue onto a less idealistic version of
>Answer with an honest statement regarding your loyalty and desire to serve the citizenry
And focus more on loyalty
>>37036267
"To advance the homosexual agenda and fuck Lord Vader in the ass, you CIS-gendered Oppressor of the Genderqueer."
>>37036388
>CIS-Gendered
>>37036267
To meet lots of cute boys, you silly man~
>>37036267
>Answer with a practiced statement regarding your loyalty and desire to serve the citizenry
Anything with more flair than this would be a horrible mistake.
>>37036388
"To advance the homosexual agenda and fuck Lord Vader in the ass, you CIS-gendered Oppressor of the Genderqueer." You state it proudly, looking your superior directly in the eye, unflinching and resolute in the face of genderstatic oppression.
For a moment you suspect you might have said the wrong thing, but after almost a full half minute of silence, the officer cracks a broad smile.
"I can already tell you're going to fit right in here, sweet-cheeks," he replies flirtily, pulling off his tearaway uniform as he declares; "This is the NAVY!"
>>37036289
>>37036301
>>37036314
You open your mouth and begin to speak, surely and clearly. "To serve and prot-"
He interrupts you with a stern, "Quiet."
You're shocked. You begin to sweat. Somebody behind you coughs.
He looks away from you, and begins to walk again, a slow and confident gait. "You, as of this moment, have no reason for anything. You are mine." The farther away he gets, the louder his voice is. "Your duty is not to any people, nor to any government. It is to me. You will obey every order I, and my fellow officers give you."
Eventually, he reaches the end of the row of enlistees and snaps himself to attention. He barks out, clipped, "All Recruits, double time to the barracks ahead!"
You all run towards a black, angular bunker, and through the wide open doors. Inside are cots, shelves, and closets meant to store personal belongings. You pick a bed to sit on once several minutes have passed. The double doors leading to the outside slide shut, and you hear the loud sounds of a lock operate.
After hours of chatter and questions to each other, you finally settle on a cot and drift to sleep.
cont.
>>37036498
I knew we should have gone with the Forrest Gump answer.
>>37036520
does shrimp even exist in the star wars universe?
>>37036533
I think so. I think there are some on Mon Cal.
>>37036533
In the same universe? Definitely.
Hell, planet earth exists in the star wars universe, just in a galaxy far, far away from all the action.
>>37036498
>After hours of chatter and questions to each other, you finally settle on a cot and drift to sleep.
>It's freezing cold outside
>You roll like a centrifuge
>Freezing to death, waking up 10 times during the night but never conscious enough to pick up the 4 blankets from the floor
>Wake up with 41 degrees of heat after a mere 5.5 hours of sleep
Boot camp was hell
At least tell me Rell was the top
>>37036569
What's worse is that we totally forgot our extensive buttplug collection and Celine Dion CDs on Corellia
>>37036498
You awake to the sound of the Klaxon alarm. It's jarring scream throws you into an adrenaline awakeness and you fall out of your cot. The double doors are opening, and an officer sprints down the ramp.
She yells out, a strong and bold voice, "I want every recruit outside, now!"
As everyone runs outside, you wonder what they'll throw at you. Physical training? Hazing? Chemical torture? The thoughts race through and a line of officers stands at attention ahead of you.
What happens next is a blur. You're screamed at, shoved towards an obstacle course, and then blitzed through it over and over again. The course is dangerous. There's a lot of climbing, a lot of work, pushing and pulling and sprinting over and under everything. This looks like Army training. Your heart sinks, even as your pulse climbs into physical strain. An hour seems to pass. You feel like you're dying. People are still screaming at you and at everyone else, and despite your best efforts, you find that you're their target just as much as the least capable members of the group.
An officer eventually pulls you out. The shame of stopping your exercise seems to blow your hope away.
He screams at you for what feels like days and your emotions crumble. Other recruits are placed in that same position, and eventually, you're sent back to your barracks, after an eternity of emotional destruction. You fall asleep, despondent and angry at your inability to work the physical course.
When you wake up and ask around, you find that everyone went through the exact same thing. You're almost relieved. An officer enters the barracks and explains his reasoning behind the entire procedure, emphasizing the destruction of self and the physical breaking of a troop before building them into the perfect public servant.
You've made it past the first day, and get an hour of free time before breakfast.
>Work out, become better physically
>Relax. Talk to people
>Sleep
>>37036652
>Work out, become better physically
>>37036652
>Work out, become better physically
get fit
>>37036652
>Relax. Talk to people
>>37036652
Relax. Talk to people
>Work out, become better physically
We're smart and appear to have social skills. Lets balance this out.
>>37036652
>Work out, become better physically
>Relax. Talk to people
Why not both?
It's clear we need to get fitter if they expect us to manage harrowing obstacle courses.
And it wouldn't do to work out alone. It's better if you have someone to spot for and to spot for you, to talk to and encourage to keep up with your routines.
>>37036695
Actually this
>>37036652
Start writing the script for a musical depicting our experiences in boot camp
>>37036695
This, and we're supposed to be passionate and driven for our goals. We were angry that we couldn't work the course. Focus on that feeling, let it push us.
>>37036632Dude, we're Star Wars Paul Smecker. He tried to cuddle once. Once.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XA1q4UpBdfI
>>37036652
>Work out, become better physically
>>37036652
>>37036695
This.
>>37036695
Because of the amount of recruits who are driven to get better for the course, you see the whole room doing a variety of calisthenics. You join a group where Jevva is doing push-ups and in between sets you talk with the other recruits. The soreness from yesterday combined with the driving anger pushing you today makes this workout hellish. Your emotional state is a bit better, but physically you feel beaten up, even after your cooldowns before chow.
What follows next can be summarized into a training montage. Your activities include daily physical training, meant to break you down. Each workout is as brutal if not worse than the first, and you find yourself exhausted, day after day. Another activity is standing at attention and loudly repeating the mantras of the officers above you. Because of your choice to become better physically, this permeates the next few months and you find that your strength and ability becomes marginally better than some of your peers. Nothing is easy, but it's less difficult.
After a few weeks, they begin to place you in classroom instruction, where you are drilled on the logistical and moral aspects of the Empire. Tests are daily, and because of your higher intellect you perform well among your peers, though your time spent working out could also have been spent studying. Your grades, you feel, are better than average.
Socially, you're doing alright. Your tight knit group of friends has branched out a bit, though you find time to catch up every once in a while. Jevva has been close to you and is your workout partner. She's been growing stronger, though her antisocial tendencies are making it difficult for other people to enter your duo group.
At the end of the fifth month, the most important test begins. It's stressful, and you're tired and sore, but you know you're doing well, until you reach one question:
THE PHRAETISS STATION REQUIRES MONTHLY SHIPMENTS OF ______.
>Bacta
>Arms and Ammunition
>Nova Crystals
>>37036727
>I am the very model of an Em-pire graduate
>I've studied simulations, been abused and fluctuated
>I'm quite good at socializing (as a subset of commanding)
>Because I am an expert (which I know is a tautology)
>My rebel-shaming ranges from boarding to orbital-bombardment
>I am the very model of an em-pire graduate
>He is the very model of an em-pire graduate
Work it from there
>>37036862
>>Bacta
I'm just guessing.
>>37036862
Bacta
>>37036874
Fucking beautiful, I got the meter from "I am the captain of the starship enterprise" in my head for it.
what a bunch of fags
>>37036933
Philistine.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z2OcbeGqbpU
>>37036862
>Bacta
>>37036933
>not recognizing the Major General's Song
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z2OcbeGqbpU
>>37036874
I can't tell if you're serious. I was just trying to bait the fags with the musical suggestion.
>>37036963
>>37036965
>Penzancemind
>>37036967
>Not turning a joke into something good
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uXiU6kiq_Ms
>>37036994
>being a polesmoker
>>37036965
never eard of it
>>37036913
>>37036918
>>37036965
You have no idea what the answer it. You're nervous, because other questions you weren't too sure on. This one question might be the tipping score that allows you into the Navy. Your entire future is to be decided. You don't know if you'll be with your friends if you get this wrong.
Now,
Are you absolutely sure you want to pick this answer? The entirety of space might await, and yet, it might not.
>>37037015
>One who enjoys the act of sucking random penises and does so on a frequent basis.
What?
>>37037029
For some reason google vaguely referenced Bacta
>>37037030
Having a mental illness is nothing to joke about.
>>37037029
forgot trip, this is me
>>37037059
Bacta is the medical liquid that is like a miracle drug that heals wounds.
Bacta-tanks, remember? I think Luke was placed in one to heal his wounds at some point.
>>37037065
Well screw you I liked the musical suggestion. Now someone vocaroo it
>>37037029
Gonna "feel, don't think" and stick with Bacta.
>>37037086
I've seen the movies once and I can barely remember what the plot was about.
>>37037029
NO, THROW DOWN THE TEST. THIS IS A TEST OF HOW MUCH OF A PUSSY WE ARE. THE ONLY WAY TO WIN IS TO DESTROY THE TEST AND TELL THE INSTRUCTOR HOW LAME IT IS.
>>37037109
Bacta is the upgraded form of Kolto from the Old Republic.
It's far more likely it's Bacta than arms and ammunitions and some crystals.
>>37037149
Well it's easier when you say it's a fan fiction spin off setting of KOTOR. Sure, why not.
>>37037149
>It's far more likely it's Bacta than arms and ammunitions and some crystals.
Agreed.
>>37037149
>Bacta is the upgraded form of Kolto from the Old Republic
No, they're actually two different chemicals with similar properties but completely different origins.
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Bacta
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Kolto
>>37037091
>tfw my bait was too effective
>>37037149
Well, monthly arms shipments would go to a system undergoing an armed rebellion.
Nova crystals are used for jewel making or as a currency in the outer belt, which the station isn't in.
Bacta is the logical choice.
>>37037149
>Kolto
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!
>>37037216
Fair enough, poor choice of words on my part. Bacta is the replacement of Kolto.
>>37036874
Bah! It needs to rhyme, that's the whole point.
>I am the very model of an empire navy graduate
>I've studied simulations, i've run courses and slept on a mat,
>After training i'll be sure there's nothing I can't beat you at,
>I'm quite good at oratory (a way to show authority)
>Because I am an expert (which I know is a tautology)
>My rebel-shaming ranges all from boarding to artillery
>And with matters pan-galactical I speak for idealistic policy
>I am the very model of an empire navy graduate
>(He is the very model of an empire navy graduate!)
Sorry it's taking me so long, I accidentally hit something and it deleted everything.
>>37037059
You stick with your answer. At the bottom of the final page is a final question, asking for your preference in school. You list Navy first, then Pilots school, then Army.
The next few days are a crawl. You don't know if you made it. Graduation is in a few days. The stress and nervous waiting is driving you absolutely crazy. Despite the lack of mandatory physical training, you feel like every muscle is seizing.
Finally the day arrives. The officer you met on the first day arrives with holoboard in hand. He's begins reading out names, and their respective schools. You're impatient, but at least it's alphabetical so your name should be near the front.
While you worry and ponder, Jevva comes up behind you and reaches for your hand. Keep in mind she hasn't been too helpful when it comes to making friends, though physically you've done better than if you hadn't had her as a partner.
>Hold her hand
>Refuse it
>Hold it and then drop it the instant your name is read
>>37037306
It did rhyme, but I had to bend some words, hence the -. Still, I confessed it needs work. None of this will work without vocaroo though.
>That
I. ugh. ghagnagi 'kay
>>37037342
>>Hold her handShe would probably hit us if we refused.
>>37037342
>Hold her hand
>>37037342
>Hold her hand
No reason not to.
>>37037342
Hold her hand
>>37037342
>Hold her hand
>>37037342
Hold her hand. She doesn't open well to others but you have a good bond. She's your best friend in this galaxy at the moment.
>>37037400
Hell yeah.
>>37037342
>Hold her hand
Just because she isn't good at making friends doesn't mean she isn't one of ours.
>>37037400
>>37037406
She's not going to be accepted and she will join the rebels.
Calling it right now.
>>37037342
>Hold her hand
Good luck.
>>37037421
Stop being genre savvy you ass!
>>37037421
Then we can secretly tip off our superiors and arrest her for treason. On that day we shall prove ourselves to the Empire.
>>37037421
Or maybe now that you said that, she's going to instead be sent off to the pilot academy and eventually be stationed as a TIE pilot on the same ship as us and die in a way that may or may not be our fault.
