What are some short and sweet jokes that a bard could tell? Preferably those of a fantasy sort.
Elven superiority
What's the difference between a bench and an orc?
A bench can support a family.
>>44480615
You know some stereotypes about races actually point on.
For example Dwarves not being able to steer their carts properly DESPITE BUILDING MOST OF THEM, or us Elves being long winded and boring... My wood elven gramps always told me his huntsman stories and would go on for a few hours without stopping (at least the story was exciting to some degree so it was bearable) and then i went into one of the high elven cities to study as a bard. The fucking shopkeeps kept on blabering on for two whole days before asking me if i want to buy something. No wonder humans and dwarves don't want to live amongst us and we are dying out.
Just think about what a first date between two high elves would look like.
They'd spend a week staring at each other.
I mean come on just mate already, that's your goal anyway!
An this longwinded story of mine is just another example. Fuck it i can't even make a short joke anymore. I give up.
>>44480615
Tell them the one about the boy with the golden screw and how the king screwed his ass off.
>>44480615
What do a Dwarf and a Halfling have in common?
Very little
How many Halflings does it take to make a stew?
3 if you slice them thinly enough
The problem with mythical creatures is that they want to be the centaur of attention
>>44480615
Why did the dragon cross the hoard?
>>44480615
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9OyZi1b0Hos
>>44480615
>>44481240
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zhBQcRh3TEk
>>44480652
>>44480615
Just have him spout internet memes.
>>44481754
>Alchemists fire can't melt steel gates!
>>44481189
Stealing the Dwarf and Halfing one.
>>44481189
Remember that in proper barding form, a terrible joke should be prefaced with the phrase "I say I say I say", so that would be "I SAY I SAY I SAY, what do a dwarf and a halfling have in common? Very little."
I always try to come up with things for playing a goblin in LARP
Do you know how to do a goblin kiss?
Its like a french kiss, but first I gotta get us a tongue/
Why'd the chicken cross the road?
To get to the idiot's house.
(later)
Knock knock
>who's there
The chicken
What do you call a tiefling covered in sugar?
A Trifling!
What do you call an Ogre who's carrying too much stuff?
Ogre-loaded!
What do you say when you accidentally bump into a zombie or other raised undead?
Exc-hume me!
>>44480615
Your mother takes in more men than the town jail.
I need corny, snarky, or sarcastic jokes for an abrasive yet charming street bard.
Fantasy, Scifi, Cyberpunk themed are all appropiate.
>>44484713
>This one's missing a few power cells.
>I know 'act your age' means different things to different races, but still.
>I can't believe people are vying for artificial intelligence when we can't even get natural intelligence down.
>Hey, there are rules against open carry, knife ears.
>It's impressive how you can do all that Spacebook posting without being able to read.
>Orcs. Not even once.
>Humans. All that versatility and you still can't get it up.
>I'd make a halfling joke, but it'd go over their heads.
>Can you speak Common, or do I have to resort to Boorish?
>Personal question: do you gnomes make anything OTHER than useless junk?
>Nice gun, but I want to know if it can kill your crippling need for overcompensation.
