Previously, Hiss got all she ever wanted while Cennen did not.
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>>43844541
You wake slowly and with a thunderous headache. For a blessed moment you remember absolutely nothing about your recent circumstances but it only takes a moment for it all to come flooding back.
The Serpent King was dead, devoured alive by Hiss. You hadn’t even gotten to talk to him. And then...ugh. You remember Hiss returning from her conference with her newfound subjects and bearing unwelcome news.
Declaring war? What the fuck was that? Maybe it had been a little naive of you but you had always hoped that together you would come this far and no further. But Hiss isn’t the kind of person to ever be satisfied.
You’re inside some sort of wooden hut, lying on a blanket spread over the floor. It’s dark but light is shining through the window and beneath the door. Just looking at it makes your eyes water. Your head hurts in a way entirely unfamiliar to you and you are left to ponder just what else you did last night. You don’t remember it all.
> Screw this, go back to sleep.
> Start brewing.
> Wander outside.
> Pray
> Use Potion (Specify)
> Other
>>43844549
>> Pray
>>43844549
> Wander outside.
Maybe mix up a restoration brew first if necessary
>>43844549
>> Pray
>>43844549
>> Start brewing.
Restoration and a heal all. Try to kill this hangover
>>43844549
> Wander outside.
I don't think praying is a great idea considering the hundreds of snakes near us right now
>>43844560
>>43844586
Did you forget the 100s of snakes listening in?
>>43844549
> Wander outside.
>Wander outside
You get to your feet and rub your eyes until you're seeing spots. You feel a little better now, little being the operative word. Blegh. Still, it's best to just face the day.
You open the door and step outside, shading your eyes with a hand. The village is bustling, various people running to and fro on assorted tasks. They're bringing a tree down over by the edge.
And as always, there are snakes all over the place, just lying around in plain sight and soaking up the sun. That's something you're going to have to get used to.
You turn around and jump as you spot an orange snake with black rings lying on the roof of the hut you were just in, head dangling over the edge. It hisses at you and you can't help but get the feeling that it's laughing at you.
> Look around for a familiar face.
> Talk to the locals.
> Go to Snakehome, Hiss is probably there.
> Nobble
> Use Potion (Specify)
> Other
>>43844713
>> Nobble
>>43844713
> Look around for a familiar face.
>>43844713
> Look around for a familiar face.
I thought cennen avoided alcohol as a rule. Seems we got drunk and made a fool of ourselves.
>>43844713
> Nobble
Noone insults the queens consort.
>>43844713
> Look around for a familiar face.
please resist the retarded option
>>43844760
>Snakecatcher quest
>Catching a snake is retarted
>>43844761
in this situation it absolutely is
>>43844760
You know you're getting old when you stop nobbling on sight. Still.
> look around for a familiar face
> Look around for a familiar face.
You decide to ignore the snake for now even though you're pretty sure that it tried to startle you deliberately. Best to leave well enough alone until you know the situation a little better.
Still, you can't help but feel completely out of place here. Where do you even start? You settle for just hanging back by the hut and look for a familiar face. The snake hisses again.
In the end however you are rewarded as you see:
> Oster
> Rock
> Aashenpreet
>>43844822
> Aashenpreet
>>43844822
>Aashenpreet
Inb4 she's perfectly fine with what Hiss is planning
>>43844822
> Aashenpreet
I still think she's best snekgirl
>>43844822
> Rock
>>43844822
> Aashenpreet
>>43844858
Of course she is, she wants snakes to rule humans. Cennen was established as being okay with it too until a few people got butthurt last thread.
>>43844822
> Aashenpreet
>>43844890
Since when? Snakes being supreme beings and humans are crap is something he's never been for.
>>43844904
He's always supported Hiss' plans to rule Teleran whenever Rock confronts him about it
>Aashenpreet
You spot Aashenpreet lying in the shade underneath a tree off to the side of the clearing. She's pretty easy to spot too since she's pale yellow and twenty feet long, she doesn't exactly blend in with the brown grass.
You walk over to her, noting that no other snakes are nearby. Makes sense, they're all seeking the sun right now while poor albino Aash is doing her best to hide from it.
You sit down with your back to the trunk and scratch the python's head to no noticeable effect. The constrictor quickly begins to bulge from within, shedding her skin.
You have to scramble back a little as she emerges from her newly hollowed-skin, she's abandoned her Teln disguise and has returned to her Quedeshi shape. Her ten foot tall Quedeshi shape, as she was in the Compact House.
You suppose she has absolutely zero reason to pretend to be human.
She sits next to you and peers down at you.
"You look absolutely awful, Cennen."
"I think I had a rough night."
> Ask her if she knows what you did last night.
> Ask her where Rock is.
> Ask for her opinion on Hiss' plans.
> Ask her how she's liking Snakehome so far.
> Complain to her.
> Use Potion (Specify)
> Other
>>43844964
> Ask her if she knows what you did last night.
> Ask for her opinion on Hiss' plans.
>>43844964
> Ask her if she knows what you did last night.
> Ask for her opinion on Hiss' plans.
>>43844964
> Ask her if she knows what you did last night.
> Ask her where Rock is.
> Ask for her opinion on Hiss' plans.
>>43844934
She's declaring war on everyone when she'd be perfectly capable of taking over quietly and without bloodshed
>>43845023
I just hope it's a translated "War" and not a literal armed conflict.
>>43845023
How exactly could she do it without bloodshed? That's not how the world works.
>>43845064
An army of shapeshifting mindreaders nobody knows about. Use your imagination
>>43844964
> Ask her if she knows what you did last night.
> Ask for her opinion on Hiss' plans.
>>43845093
A shapeshifter has to kill whoever they replace.
> Ask her if she knows what you did last night.
> Ask for her opinion on Hiss' plans.
"You think?"
You look around the clearing for a few more seconds before you reply.
"I've got a problem. I feel like shit for some reason but I can't remember what happened last night."
Aashenpreet laughs.
"Sounds like you were just drunk."
"I don't drink."
"There's a first time for everything."
She sounds surprisingly jovial about it. You look at her suspiciously.
"Aash...do you drink?"
"No! That would be very impure behavior. And besides, even when I'm at human size my internal body is way too large. I'd have to drink a lot."
Internal body? Is that how it works? You seem to recall Hiss having the opposite problem, a complete inability to hold her drink.
"So you've tried then?"
"No," she says flatly. "And I don't know what you did last night, you didn't spend any of it with me."
Well that at least is a welcome change from the LAST time you'd woken up without any memory of the previous night.
"Fair enough, I'll find somebody else to ask."
She looks pensive for a moment before nodding.
"Oster might know, he was in the village a lot last night. I barely saw him at all."
She sounds a little miffed about that and you suppose you can understand. Oster seems to be her preferred companion when Rock isn't around. That makes you, what, third place?
You look back into the village for a moment but you can't see Oster anywhere. But another idea rises in your head, one concerning what Hiss unveiled last night. You need to talk about that with someone who isn't concerned with brown-nosing up to her and Aashenpreet is probably the best person for that.
"I might talk to him later. So, what do you think about this 'war'? I don't like it."
"I'm mostly ambivalent," Aashenpreet carefully replies.
"Oh?"
"Hiss becoming the Queen of anything else is a scary thought, right? But on the other hand, I know she'll do a better job than whoever this country has as their ruler now."
1/2
>>43844964
>> Ask her if she knows what you did last night.
> Ask for her opinion on Hiss' plans.
>>43844934
It's fairly clear she'd not be ruling, she's already letting the snakes push her around.
>>43845271
A ruler always has to consider what their people want.
>>43845288
I don't think the war would be as one-sided as the snakes believe
>>43845223
You stare up at her blankly.
"So you WANT Hiss in charge?"
"I didn't say that. And you should at least be more supportive of her, even if I personally find her loathsome. You're her human after all."
"You don't even know our king!"
"Cennen I really don't mean to offend and you know I love humans but you people are basically wayward children. You don't even live a century! How can you take a human ruler seriously?"
You shake your head.
"Forget I asked."
"Sorry."
You can almost hear the unspoken words 'but it's the truth' hovering over Aash's head.
"I'm not sure how I feel about a war though. Surely if she just exposes her and her kinds existence, the humans here will just bow to her right? It's the right thing to do."
"That, uh...strikes me as unlikely."
"Why? That's how it worked for Qesh. I know you people don't respect serpents but that's surely just a result of unfortunate ignorance. Once they realize how better suited Hiss is for ruling, they should just let her."
Is that what she was taught about Qesh? You recall hearing that Qesh (and the rest of Quedesh) was conquered rather forcefully.
"No, that's not what's going to happen."
> Ask her what she thinks you should do about all of this.
> Reprimand her.
> Change the subject by asking her how she likes Snakehome so far.
> Leave.
> Nobble
> Use Potion (Specify)
> Other
>>43845344
>> Reprimand her.
"Humans don't go down that easily"
>>43845344
> Leave.
Let's find Oster
>>43845344
> Leave.
>>43845344
>> Leave.
The maker freed us, I wonder how long it took the constrictors to beat, eat and destroy the will of their slaves.
>>43845344
>> Reprimand her.
All it takes is one human to come up and
> Nobble
her.
> Leave.
>>43845344
I'm worried about Rock. Has she said anything worrying to you lately?
>>43845344
> ask about rock
> Leave.
You grimace as Aashenpreet smiles down at you, mostly unaware of anything wrong. She's a very nice girl and all, nicer than almost anyone you've met. You just wished that she was a little less patronizing.
Not ACTUALLY wished, mind you, as entertaining as the idea might be.
"Well, it was nice talking to you."
You stand, bringing yourself up to a more appropriate eye-level with her sitting form. Her smile fades.
"Did I say something wrong again? I'm sorry."
"I'll see you later Aash."
She doesn't stop you from leaving though she does try to stand up, falling back down holding her head as she smashes it into the branches of a tree.
You walk back into the village proper, doing your best to scan your surroundings. Are you looking for Oster or Hiss? Or maybe just Rock? Where would you find any of them?
> Go to Snakehome.
> Start searching the village more methodically.
> Go to the memorials.
> Ask a local.
> Ask a snake.
> Find a proper spot to brew.
> Use Potion (Specify)
> Other
>>43845511
>> Go to the memorials
Oster might be there
>>43845511
> Go to Snakehome.
>>43845511
> Ask a local.
>>43845511
>Ask a local.
If it doesn't work
> go to the memorials
>>43845511
> Ask a local.
>>43845511
> Go to Snakehome.
> Ask a local.
Well you might as well start getting to know the people here. You wonder what it's like to live in a snake village. Probably just the same as any other, you guess.
You look around for someone who doesn't look busy until you spot a short red-haired young man with a large beard. He's leaning against a large wooden fence arranged in an enclosure around something. A guard? Probably not. In either case, he doesn't look busy so you tread on over.
"Hello."
He steps back just a little as you approach and tower over him but has no other reaction save to squint.
"I don't think I've seen you around before. Who are you?"
> "I came with the Queen."
> "The Royal Consort."
> "I'm the Queen's alchemist."
> "I'm a friend of Oster."
> "What's behind this fence?"
> Use Potion (Specify)
> Other
>>43845683
>> "I'm the Queen's alchemist."
>>43845683
>Cennen
> "I'm the Queen's alchemist."
> "I'm a friend of Oster."
>>43845683
> "I'm the Queen's alchemist."
> "I'm a friend of Oster."
> "What's behind this fence?"
>>43845683
> "I'm the Queen's alchemist."
> "I'm a friend of Oster."
>>43845683
>"I came with the Queen."
>>43845683
>> "The Royal Consort."
> "I'm the Queen's alchemist."
> "I'm a friend of Oster."
"My name's Cennen, I'm the Queen's alchemist and Oster's friend."
You extend your hand for him to shake and he does so without hesitation.
"Is that who you're looking for, then?"
"Pardon?"
"It was pretty obvious mate. You're wandering around with your eyes fair popping out of your head. I'm Eold by the way."
"You're not wrong. I'm just a little lost."
"I can't blame you, this must all look a little strange to you, being an outsider and all. I'll be happy to give you a hand."
> Ask if he knows where Oster is.
> Ask about what he thinks of Hiss.
> Ask for a tour around the village.
> Ask about the enclosure.
> Ask him about to deal with so many snakes.
> Ask him if he's seen a spirit about.
> Offer him a drink.
> Use Potion (Specify)
> Other
>>43845855
>> Ask if he knows where Oster is.
>> Ask about what he thinks of Hiss.
> Ask him about to deal with so many snakes.
> Ask him if he's seen a spirit about.
>>43845855
>> Ask if he knows where Oster is.
>> Ask about what he thinks of Hiss.
>>43845855
> Ask if he knows where Oster is.
> Ask about what he thinks of Hiss.
> Ask for a tour around the village.
> Ask about the enclosure.
>>43845855
> Ask if he knows where Oster is.
> Ask for a tour around the village.
> Ask about the enclosure.
>>43845855
> Ask for a tour around the village.
> Ask about the enclosure.
> Ask if he knows where Oster is.
> Ask about what he thinks of Hiss.
"I don't think I need a guide just yet, I'll find my own way round. Do you know where Oster is?"
He scratches his chin thoughtfully.
"I saw him last night, he looked very drunk. Can't judge myself, whatever gets people through the night."
"Do you know where he might be now then?"
"Well he won't be under a roof that's for sure. Not unless he was even worse off than I thought. Try the memorials."
So just right where you left him then? Bah
"Thanks."
You go to leave but he waves you back.
"So what's it like being the Queen's alchemist? Not that I know much about that but what's she like?"
"Depends. What do you think of her?"
He suddenly straightens up.
"I'm loyal, of course. Haven't had a chance to meet her yet but I'm sure she's a fine ruler. So...does she like to stay in human shape as much as she's doing now?"
"Yes? She's pretty comfortable with it."
Eold chuckles.
"That's fantastic then because her arse is amazing. The King never had that."
You suddenly feel very discontented.
"Goodbye."
You turn and leave, finding the path you walked last night and following it into the small grove within the forest. You find Oster asleep among the statues, reeking of booze. Familiar-looking bottles are littered around him.
Wait. Those are YOUR potion bottles! You don't remember brewing anything last night however.
> Wake Oster up.
> Pick up the bottles so you can re-use them.
> Let Oster sleep for now.
> Administer a restoration potion to him.
> Pray
> Use Potion (Specify)
> Other
>>43846040
>> Wake Oster up.
>>43846040
> Pick up the bottles so you can re-use them.
> Administer a restoration potion to him.
> Wake Oster up.
>>43846040
> Pick up the bottles so you can re-use them.
> Wake Oster up.
> Administer a restoration potion to him.
>>43846040
> Pick up the bottles so you can re-use them.
> Wake Oster up.
> Administer a restoration potion to him.
Rolled 2, 5 = 7 (2d6)
>>43844541
> Pick up the bottles so you can re-use them.
> Administer a restoration potion to him.
> Wake Oster up.
You grumble as you pick your way around Oster and the statues, grabbing all the empty bottles you can see. Is this what you spent all night doing? You don't remember that at all.
Once you have the bottles, you use one of them to cook up a very quick, very rough restoration brew. You take a quick draught of it to clear up what's left of your headache and then press the rest into Oster's hands, waking him up in the process. He looks at you and makes a face.
"Leave me alone..."
"Just drink the damn potion."
He does and begins to look better, sitting up with a pained look on his face.
"S'it morning already?"
He's still at least a little drunk, even now. His breath stinks of it.
> Ask him what happened last night.
> "Are you feeling alright?"
> Ask him what he thinks of Hiss' plans.
> "Isn't this desecration or something?"
> Offer to spar with him.
> Use Potion (Specify)
> Other
>>43846199
> Ask him what happened last night.
> "Are you feeling alright?"
>>43846199
> Ask him what happened last night.
> Ask him what he thinks of Hiss' plans.
>>43846199
> Ask him what happened last night.
> "Are you feeling alright?"
> Ask him what he thinks of Hiss' plans.
>>43846199
> Ask him what happened last night.
> "Are you feeling alright?"
> Ask him what he thinks of Hiss' plans.
Since alcohol could be considered poison maybe we could make an antidote?
>>43846199
>> Ask him what happened last night.
>> "Are you feeling alright?"
> "Isn't this desecration or something?"
> Ask him what happened last night.
> "Are you feeling alright?"
> Ask him what he thinks of Hiss' plans.
It's not like him to be like this, he doesn't even have his sword close to hand. You squat down by his side.
"You feeling alright man?"
"I'm fine," he says as he waves you off. "Just celebrating the end of an era. And the birth of the next."
He's still unbranded.
"What happened last night?"
He smiles.
"You were really shit with your booze, that's what."
"No really, what happened?"
"You stopped by, looked like you'd just had an argument with a very certain somebody. I offered you my bottle and asked you to brew another and you actually did. It was a good night."
Is that how it happened? Now that he mentions it you're starting to get blurred recollection of something like that. You remember feeling bitter and angry, Hiss dismissing you and telling you to cool off.
"Shit. What do you think about all this anyway?"
"It looks like a nice day I suppose."
"No, I mean Hiss' plans."
"Sounds like fun to me. Teleran's gotten too fat for my liking. Just gotta make sure she does it in a sensible way."
"I think 'sensible' is the last word on my min-"
You are interrupted by a small gaggle of men and women entering the grove. They walk without sound, are completely still when at rest and are all at least a little bit beautiful. Snakes, as plain as day.
Should you salute or bow or something? Fuck.
They ignore you entirely, clustering around Oster instead.
"Many-faced Oster, -"
"Not anymore," he slurs.
The lead snake, a short woman with a round face and curly brown hair, looks a little confused by his interruption and attitude.
"Nevertheless, her Majesty has instructed us to find you."
"Why? Is it time for my branding already?"
She's still taken aback by his state but soldiers on anyway, the snakes behind her looking derisive.
"We have come to learn from you. It is by her order that you teach us the ways of humans and how to walk among them."
1/2
>>43846426
"We know how to hunt and to eat and to mimic but the Serpent Queen has told us that there are other ways to do both and that you will teach us."
Oster groans, scratching his head. He's awake now at least.
"Where's my bloody poncho gotten off to? And yeah, that sounds like me alright. That is def...definitely my area of expertise."
You are starting to feel a bit extraneous here.
> "Does he have to do it now?"
> Ask them where Hiss is.
> Tell them to bugger off.
> Leave
> Use Potion (Specify)
> Other
>>43846470
One second Oster let me brew you a heal all, then I'll get out of your way.
>>43846470
> "Does he have to do it now?"
>>43846470
> Ask them where Hiss is.
>>43846470
> Ask them where Hiss is.
> "Does he have to do it now?"
> Get him Potioned up.
>>43846470
> Ask them where Hiss is.
Looks like these snakes will be the infiltrators of human society
>>43846470
>> Leave
>>43846470
>> Ask them where Hiss is.
> Ask them where Hiss is.
Oster looks like he's recovering just fine, albeit slowly since he keeps nursing that restoration brew. And you're not particularly interested in what he's got to teach, at least not in this situation.
You turn to the snake, settling for some sort of short head-bob as a gesture of respect.
"Excuse me, do you know where Hiss is?"
She looks at you blankly.
"I'm sorry. Do you know where the Queen is?"
She keeps staring at you.
"I don't recall ever seeing you with the other servants. Who are you?"
You open your mouth to answer but Oster beats you to it.
"He's with me...and with her Majesty. Her first brand. I'd be polite, she's unkind to anyone else playing with her toys."
Playing? What does he mean by that? It takes a full moment before the realization makes you start. She was trying to draw into a gaze just there!
She switches her focus to just above your head in response.
"The Queen is currently residing within the village chieftain's house. You can find her there."
"Alright, let's get started!"
Oster is a little too loud and he claps his hands.
"I'll find you other subjects to test yourselves on, leave him and myself alone. Why don't you go attend the Queen, Cennen?"
He clearly wants you gone in case this snake tries to do anything else.
> Take the hint and leave without saying anything.
> Remind her that you are protected by the Queen.
> Insult her.
> Nobble.
> Use Potion (Specify)
> Other
>>43846657
> Take the hint and leave without saying anything.
>>43846657
Look straight into her eyes and tell her to try it.
>>43846657
>Look her in the eye and smile, She's a small time threat. We could probably deal with her without alchemy. Then leave.
>>43846657
> Take the hint and leave without saying anything.
I don't think provoking our new allies is a great idea
>>43846657
>> Insult her.
"ayy lmao, what kind of weak-ass gaze was that?"
>>43846696
"You are small time." *Puts on shades*
>>43846657
> Insult her.
>Rude
You hadn't even noticed her trying to do it, how weak is that? Though to be fair you're pretty sure you have to be afraid of her for it to take any effect.
"Thanks Oster but I don't need the help."
You look her directly in the eye and smile.
"You're free to try if you want but it's going to have to be a bit stronger than that."
She has next to zero experience in having to ever hide her expressions (or having expressions period) so its easy to spot the look of outrage plastered all over her. Her fangs are out and she's slightly swaying from side to side, judging striking distance. But then she stops and swallows her pride, backing down without saying anything.
You doubt it was anything that stopped her, it's just that Hiss casts a long shadow.
>Okay, time to leave.
> Taunt her some more.
> Other
>>43846799
>Okay, time to leave.
>>43846799
>Time to leave
We made our point, no need to be meaninglessly antagonistic.
...But if she tries something, we nobble the shit out of her.
>>43846799
>>Okay, time to leave.
"Good talking with you Oster, also I think you know which area to train first. This lot rises to the bait far too easily."
>>43846799
>> Taunt her some more.
back the back up before you get smacked the fuck up, you don't try to fuck with the Queen's consort like that.
>>43846799
>Okay, time to leave.
Surely we won't regret this
>>43846799
>>Okay, time to leave.
> wink
I want to be friends with her
>>43846799
>> Taunt her some more.
I think we might be immune or resistant to all their weak ass venom
So Question!
Since wizards choose domains and since no one has ever heard of snakes.. could Cennen become a wizard of snakes?
>>43846858
Becoming a wizard is bad news. You lose your original personality.
>>43846847
>wink
fuck no. this would only piss her off more anyway
>>43846799
>Okay, time to leave.
>>43846858
Sounds kinda funny.
>>43846822
Agreed. Or just slap a bitch.
>>43846910
She won't know what it means, It will confuse her at worst
>Time to leave
That's more than enough for now, no need to be meaninglessly antagonistic. You bite back several taunts you had in mind and step back.
And then you turn back and wink before speaking up.
"Good talking to you Oster, also I think you know which area to train first. This lot rises to the bait far too easily."
Okay, maybe you couldn't resist getting the last word in. You spin on your heel and walk away, having to force down a smug grin almost as wide as Hiss'.
You hope that nothing bad comes from antagonizing...oh, you never got a name. And you don't know her snake form. Or what other human shapes she might have. Maybe you should keep your guard up for a little while then, just to make sure.
You identify the chieftain's house by looking for the largest and most ornate building, a house who's wooden front is carved and whittled into a thousand different patterns. The door is unguarded so you just slip in.
Hiss is sitting on a large chair by a table, her feet resting on the table in front of her. The fireplace is lit behind her, filling the house with a stifling heat despite the bright sun outside. The gray-bearded men kneeling in front of her is probably the erstwhile chieftain.
And there are snakes all over the place. It looks like Hiss took her 'court' with her when she relocated. Most of them are just coiling around each other on the table but others are slithering about on the floor, some of them even curling around Hiss' chair or Hiss herself.
"...so we need this many to be our vanguard," Hiss says as she jabs a number on the table obscured underneath at least three snakes. It doesn't look like she's noticed you.
"I've already sent some to Oster to get taught about how to act with humans, the rest they can learn from eating. Speaking of which, we should talk later about organizing some raiding parties on the nearby villages. These soldiers are going to need souls."
Some snakes slither off as she speaks, apparently carrying out orders.
1/2
>>43846987
"For actual combat I'm going to need a list of everyone who has tough scales at the very least. I'm also looking for good rattlers for that purpose. Do you know how many of them we have?"
The brown snake wrapped around her leg shakes its head. Hiss frowns.
"I can't believe this is all so disorganized! Scratch those plans! First things first, we need to take a proper census. They're a human thing, I'll explain later."
You cough politely and she looks up, a small green snake coiled up on her head like a crown.
"Oh hi, Cennen. I'm busy right now, you can leave."
She waves you off.
> Leave.
> Ask her how it's going.
> "What do you mean, nearby villages?"
> Ask if you can help with the census.
> Ask her about Bart.
> "Do you know where Rock is?"
> Offer criticism of her plans. Again.
> Say something else (Specify)
> Use Potion (Specify)
> Make a wish (Specify)
> Other
Alright, something's come up and I have to be absent for a time. I'll be back to continue this thread soon, an hour at most.
>>43847049
>> "What do you mean, nearby villages?"\
> Ask her about Bart.
> "Do you know where Rock is?"
> Offer criticism of her plans. Again.
>Oh, one of the serpents you sent to Oster tried to catch me in a gaze. It was funny, in a sad sort of way.
>>43847049
> "What do you mean, nearby villages?"
Surely you could avoid mine at least
> Ask her about Bart.
>>43847049
> Ask if you can help with the census.
>>43847049
> Ask if you can help with the census.
YESS FREE NOBBLING
> Offer criticism of her plans. Again.
Those you sent to Oster were weak, she's overestimating how powerful some of the snakes are here. It could be that her father nobbled all the strong ones and the rest here are weaker the Ash being an Albino.
> "What do you mean, nearby villages?"
>>43847119
We have no way of knowing if they were weak. The strength of a snake is irrelevant to it's trance gaze if the target isn't afraid of it.
>>43847049
> "What do you mean, nearby villages?"
> Ask her about Bart.
You realize that he can probably scry what we're all doing right now, right?
>>43847119
First of all we would have to be afraid of said snake in order for the gaze to work, and have a weaker will. Compared to Hiss, the king, Rock, Bart, any other wizard, hell even Aash, that other snake wasn't scary.
>>43847049
>>43847163
Very salient point.
>>43847049
>> Ask if you can help with the census.
> Offer criticism of her plans. Again.
it'll be nice to do someting constructive for once, even if the ultimate ends are destructive and even if they are perhaps we can steer them in a minimally destructive direction
>>43847049
>> Ask if you can help with the census.
I've got this image of a blissful Cennen filling a bag of snakes
>> Ask her about Bart.
>>43847163
this. fuck doing the census, I'd rather brew after this.
>>43847253
"So many snakes~"
"I wanna nobble them all!"
>>43846799
> time to leave
But make her tell us her name first, and obviously be making a note of it.
>>43847304
That is not the pic I though I selected.
>>43847355
That's the face we'll make when we nobble bitch snake
>>43847119
>>43847253
Why would we nobble any of them?
>>43847431
they seem to think it's a consequence-free dank meme
>>43847443
Man we would be dead at the start of the quest if we followed your euphoric ideas for a Snakecatcher quest
>>43847478
i'm just saying that there's an appropriate time for nobbling but it's not something we should do just for fun
>>43847497
I agree, though there's still something terribly amusing about humiiating and annoying these beings that hold themselves so above us puny humans.
Alright, I'm back. Looks like the most popular votes are
>"What do you mean, nearby villages?"
>Ask her about Bart
>Ask if you can help with the census
>>43847308
You've always been my favourite anon, Regularly-One-Update-Late Anon. It's nice to see you back.
>"What do you mean, nearby villages?"
>Ask her about Bart.
>Ask if you can help with the census.
You fail to leave, making Hiss sigh.
"Make it quick, I have so many things to organize right now."
"Firstly, what did you mean when you said nearby villages?"
You can think of one village in particular that you'd rather she didn't touch.
"We need souls from somewhere and the other villages in and around the forest shoul-oh, you're asking about the village I found you in, aren't you?"
You don't recall her finding you anywhere. It was rather the other way round. She probably doesn't want people to knowing that you've nobbled her repeatedly.
"There's no need to worry Cennen, your village in particular is still under the protection of the Duke. We can't touch it."
She smiles, looking thoughtful.
"Not yet anyway."
"Okay but what about Bart? He's still out there and our scryguards have withered and he seems like a bigger problem than organizing for war."
The snakes adorning Hiss raise their heads and hiss but she lifts a hand and calms them.
"There's no need for that, you lot. Some impudence is acceptable. But really Cennen, I'm not just some travelling princess now. You should really address me with more respect."
"So what about Bart...your Majesty?"
"We don't have to worry about him yet," Hiss says, brushing your concerns away. "Snakehome and the land around it is protected from Sight as per our treaty with the Duke. He can't see us now and we can deal with him when we take Melire."
Not 'if' we take Melire. When. Just how far is Hiss planning to expand?
"Now unless you want to make yourself useful and help me with this census, you can leave me alone. Next time, I'll make it an order."
A census? That sounds constructive at least.
"I can help with that. What are you looking for?"
"Take these."
Hiss throws a sheath of paper at your head, scattering it all over the ground.
1/2
>>43847839
"Go out and record as many snakes as you can along with their particular prowess. You won't be the only one doing this hopefully but you're the first and the more the merrier! I'll have someone else actually collate them all into something worth looking at."
"How am I supposed to record them, exactly?"
Hiss shrugs, evidently uncaring.
"Just round them up. Do what you want, royal decree."
> Leave to start the census.
> Leave but don't do any census work just yet. You have other things to do.
> Ask if you can enlist any assistants for this.
> Start with her.
> Make a wish (Specify)
> Use a potion (Specify)
> Other
>>43847870
May as well start here then shouldn't I? Census is only good if it's done to everyone equally.
>>43847870
> Leave to start the census.
guys why would you vote for this boring task
>>43847870
>> Leave to start the census.
I guess it's time to Nobble a snake to get it to spill it's stats
>>43847899
Gives us a shit ton of latitude, let's us know what every snake is capable of, their names and ages, and we can freely fuckup any snake trying to mess with us.
>>43847870
> Leave to start the census.
>>43847914
they're gonna tell us anyway. it's a royal decree.
>>43847870
> Ask if you can enlist any assistants for this.
You, snakes #137, #211, and #270. You lot are now my bitches.
>>43847870
> Ask if you can enlist any assistants for this.
> We need a way for the other snakes to comply with us, or at least not try to kill us for daring to speak to them, a token of your authority
>>43847899
To talk andmesswith snakes man, my biggest regret from Quedesh is we barely talked to anyone except Tanni
>>43847870
> Ask if you can enlist any assistants for this.
Looks like a tie between asking for assistants and just starting the census. They aren't really mutually incompatible however.
>Ask if you can enlist any assistants for this.
>Leave to start the census.
"Hold on," you say, still gathering up the paper as Hiss almost waves you off. "Can I get some assistants for this?"
"What? Sure. Enlist whoever you want, royal decree. Just show them your brand."
Anyone you want?
"You can leave now."
You find yourself standing outside the chieftain's house, paper in your hands and census on your mind.
But first you apparently need to find some assistants.
> Aashenpreet.
> Pick up some random snakes and press-gang them.
> That snake on your roof.
> Oster
> Eold
> That snake who tried to gaze you.
> Some random villager.
> Hiss.
> You don't need any assistants.
>>43848041
> Aashenpreet.
> That snake on your roof.
>>43848041
> That snake on your roof.
> Aashenpreet.
> Pick up some random snakes and press-gang them.
>>43848041
> Aashenpreet.
> That snake who tried to gaze you.
This is going to be great
>>43848041
> Aashenpreet.
> Pick up some random snakes and press-gang them.
> That snake on your roof.
I just realized, are we going to use that fashion magazine if they need help with a human form...
>>43848041
> Aashenpreet.
> That snake on your roof.
> Eold
that snake who tried to gaze us is probably still being trained by oster
>>43848041
>> Aashenpreet.
> That snake on your roof.
>>43848106
We can do a better job
>Aashenpreet
>That snake on your roof
Aashenpreet is still right where you left her, seeking shade from the sunlight. She's reverted back to her constrictor form but she sheds her skin as you approach, retaking her giant Quedeshi form. She bends down to speak with you.
"How's Oster? And what's all that paper for?"
"Oster's doing fine, he's teaching some snakes about humanity and junk. As for this...Hiss has assigned to me do a census. You know what that is?"
"Of course I do. How else would you keep track of anything?"
"Right. She wants a census of every snake under her command so she can use them best in her coming plans. And she's told me that I can enlist anyone as my assistant."
"I'm not under her authority though. She can't force me to do anything."
"I know that, that's why I'm coming to ask. Will you help me with all this?"
She thinks for a moment before nodding down at you.
"Sure. It's something different, at least."
The two of you leave, Aashenpreet bumping her head on another tree as she does so. It's time for you to enlist your next assistant, whether they want to or not.
You find the snake that tried to startle you still sitting on the roof of your hut just above the door. It's orange with black rings going all the way down its body and it doesn't look too impressed.
You give it the spiel about the royal decree and even show it your brand but it seems content to just continue sunbathing.
> Report it to Hiss.
> Forcibly enlist it.
> Ask Aashenpreet to reach over the roof and knock it down.
> Use Potion (Specify)
> Other
>>43848239
>Grab a rock, knock it from perch with it. Have something nasty in hand and stare it down.
>>43848239
> Forcibly enlist it.
>>43848239
> Forcibly enlist it.
Maybe Aash could stand in the way of its sunlight
>>43848239
>> Forcibly enlist it.
Told you we would need to Nobble.
>>43848239
> Forcibly enlist it.
You don't just stand in the way of burocracy
>>43848239
>> Forcibly enlist it.
The way of the Snakecatcher
>>43848239
>> Forcibly enlist it.
not putting up with your shit
> Forcibly enlist it.
You consider reaching up to poke it but you don't fancy being bitten.
"Come on now, you were plenty talkative before! You can't just get in the way of bureaucracy like this."
"I agree," Aashenpreet says. "Where I come from, everything about us is recorded at birth. It only makes sense."
She stands next to the hut and towers over it, blocking out the sun and casting a shadow right over the snake. It hisses, trying to slither to a different spot but Aashenpreet just leans in that direction and overshadows it too.
"You're making this way harder than it has to be," you say. "Just come down and help, your Queen commands it."
The snake remains unresponsive so while it is distracted with finding a spot on the roof outside of Aashenpreet's shadow you just reach out and grab it straight behind the head.
It writhes and wriggles and you waste no time in dropping it into your pack and sealing it up.
You let the wriggling pack sit for a few minutes before letting the now-wishbound snake out.
"There. Now take human form and we can get introduced. And then you can help carry our papers."
The snake just hisses at you, bundling itself into a coil. Is it still being difficult?
Aashenpreet taps you on the shoulder and kneels down.
"I don't think they've ever turned human before. They might need some help."
> It's fine, they can just slither along for now.
> Just pick it up.
> Give them the outdated fashion catalogue that you've used to help both Hiss and Aash in the past.
> Wish for them to take human form.
> Make a different wish (Specify)
> Use a potion (Specify)
> Other
>>43848414
> Wish for them to take human form.
>>43848414
>> Give them the outdated fashion catalogue that you've used to help both Hiss and Aash in the past.
>> Wish for them to take human form.
>>43848414
> Give them the outdated fashion catalogue that you've used to help both Hiss and Aash in the past.
If it keeps being difficult:
> "Come on mate, work with me here and I promise I'll get rid of those wishes, no one has to know"
>>43848414
> Just pick it up.
>>43848414
>> Give them the outdated fashion catalogue that you've used to help both Hiss and Aash in the past.
If still resisting
> Wish for them to take human form.
>>43848414
> Give them the outdated fashion catalogue that you've used to help both Hiss and Aash in the past.
does it only have girls in it? maybe aash can tell its gender first. i guess it doesn't really matter anyway though.
>>43848414
> Call up a human for them to snack on
>>43848498
> Implying the snake knows
Fuck that, let's just bug the shit out of it now that it can't hurt us.Then we'll tell it that it's fallen in love with us. Snakes don't know what it is!
>>43848414
>> Give them the outdated fashion catalogue that you've used to help both Hiss and Aash in the past.
>> Wish for them to take human form.
only if necessary
> Give them the outdated fashion catalogue that you've used to help both Hiss and Aash in the past.
You push the snake inside your hut with your foot, searching through your pack while you do so.
"I happen to have something for that. Aash, remember how I gave you that locket to help you? Well back when I first met Hiss, she used something that as well."
Not intentionally though, at the time you'd been rather embarrassed about it. You fish out the old fashion catalogue that had once been your most treasured possession back when it had been mis-mailed to your village. You toss it to the snake inside the hut, letting it flutter open.
"Read through this, it has plenty on the human form."
And it's a morally better choice than just feeding them more humans than however many this thing has already eaten.
You and Aashenpreet are waiting for nearly ten minutes before your newfound assistant emerges.
She's a six-foot tall woman with orange hair tied back in a long tail that goes down her back. She's wearing a tight laced-up black bodice over a voluminous striped skirt that goes just a little below the knees.
Her skin is pale and her eyes are green with a figure that almost promises to be lithe but ends up being just a little too curved out.
She looks exceptionally embarassed and is betraying all the usual obvious marks of a snake unused to human form, eerie gait included.
She's still not speaking either.
> Ask her for her name.
> Hand her all your papers to hold.
> Ask her to apologize for earlier.
> Just get to work.
> Make a wish (Specify)
> Use Potion (Specify)
> Other
>>43848634
I think that snakes in this region are in fact aware of the capture problem. Also the people are too, which could be a real impediment.
>>43848779
> Ask her for her name.
> Hand her all your papers to hold.
>>43848779
>> Hand her all your papers to hold.
no time for chit chat we can talk while we work
>>43848779
> Ask her for her name.
> Ask about her powers
>>43848779
> Ask her for her name.
> Ask her to apologize for earlier.
> Ask why she she can act like a human.
>>43848797
>>43848821
>>43848822
just pointing out that she in all likelhood does not have a humanly pronounceable name.
>>43848779
> Ask her for her name.
> Apologize for nobbling herInb4 it's a male snake
> Tell her what we want
>>43848821 This
> Get to work
>>43848837
well she's gonna need one.
>Give her the census
"Alright, now that you're a little more co-operative I'm going to need your name and Snake Art capabilities. For the Queen's census."
It takes her a moment to speak up, her voice rather squeaky.
"My name is...is..."
She makes several awful coughing sounds that vaguely approximate hissses.
"I can't say it," she finishes lamely.
"Don't worry, you'll figure out a use-name. Or maybe I'll just give you one. Can you tell me about your Snake Arts?"
"Ah, skin-shedding, hypnotic gaze, soul-eating, Cockatrice and amphibious."
Aashenpreet writes it down, passing the sheet back to you.
"We can attach a name to you later. Any other questions?"
"What are you going to use your wishes for?"
She does her best to look rebellious but the design of her whole face works against it.
"What I choose. It's your own fault for going against the Queen's commands. Anything else?"
"Actually..."
She looks like she's having trouble spitting it out.
"This is a bit awkward but that book only had women in it."
"And?"
"Well I'm not one. Not in my actual body that is. But it didn't give me any choice."
Oh. You hadn't thought about that. Still, Hiss has taken male form plenty of times and it never hurt her any.
> "You'll be fine."
> You'd have to spend a wish or feed her somebody to get the proper body.
> Assign them a name (Specify)
> Just get started.
> Make a wish (specify)
> Ask that they apologize for their behavior.
> Use Potion (Specify)
> Other
>>43848982
> "You'll be fine."
You will fix that when you figure out how to do it.
> Assign them a name (Specify)
Orange
> Just get started.
>>43848982
>> You'd have to spend a wish or feed her somebody to get the proper body.
"Fine. I wish you could freely take human forms."
> Ask that they apologize for their behavior.
"Don't be a dick mate. Its a good rule to live by I've found."
>>43848982
> You'd have to spend a wish or feed her somebody to get the proper body.
a wish is fine. let's get Aash to name him since I'm shit at making up names.
>>43848634
Snakes in this area are well aware of the wishbond and it's a bit of a quaint local myth, that's how you learned of it in the first place and decided to catch Hiss.
Quedesh censors it but all the snakes that matter there still know of it. Aashenpreet was just ignorant because she's basically the opposite of 'constrictors that matter'.
>>43848982
> Do you actually care about the gender of the human form you take?
> Tell him to just turn his outie into an innie and flatten his chest.
Also, he's now conscripted to help us.
>>43849068
>She's basically the opposite of 'Constrictors that matter'.
This is so sad, but at the same time so funny. I really want to hug the snake, but it's so much better at hugging than I am.
>>43848982
> You'd have to spend a wish or feed her somebody to get the proper body.
Just wish that he could take on a male form. It's not like we'll need them for anything else.
>>43848982
> skin-shedding, hypnotic gaze, soul-eating, Cockatrice and amphibious
What a fucking runt, and he tried to start shit with us?... I like him.
> "You can choose a form you're more comfortable with later"
> Just get started.
>>43849068
Awwww. Poor Aash.
>>43848982
> You're a snake, so nobody cares. Just so long as you can write shit down because you've just been conscripted. Congratulations, you've even already had the experience of a uniform that doesn't fit so you're well on your way to being a veteran.
> Now slither to it and start hissing at some scalebacks for me, we got a list to make.
>>43849130
I feel like after dealing with Hiss's wild ride and, IDK, being instrumental in killing the King, we can talk some shit to most snakes.
>>43849077
>>43849130
>>43849170
>>43849183
I think we just level up to snakebully
>>43848982
>> Make a wish (specify)
i wish you'd take a masculine form similar ot the one you have right now. its not like we need to hold onto these.
Alright, I think this is the winning vote.
> You'll be fine
"You're a snake so nobody cares. Humans are just humans to you, aren't they?"
You think it works like that, Hiss had been fine in a male body and had been disturbingly susceptible to Tanni's influence.
"You've been conscripted, congrats. You're uh...Second Census Assistant."
You aren't great at military ranks but you might have to get better because whipping all of these superpowered layabouts into a fighting force seems to be Hiss' ambition.
"Have you figured out a name yet?"
"No."
"Alright, you can be Orange. Aash, write that down."
"That name sucks!," Orange protests.
"I live with a spirit named Rock. Your Queen's human use-name is HISS. You'll deal."
"It's still a better sounding name than Cennen too," Aashenpreet chimes in.
"I'm sorry Aash, we can't all name ourselves Beloved of God or whatever you are."
"That is," she says a little huffily, "a perfectly cromulent name with a long history. It venerates Aashimid."
"Well so's my name. It's like, named after those funny river stones with holes in them."
Aash nods.
"Now I understand why Rock likes you so much."
Orange is just staring up at the two of you without saying much.
"Can you free me from my wishbond yet?"
"No. Now if you keep to your best behavior I won't even use it for anything silly."
Now, with all that out of the way it's time to get this census started.
But what sort of approach should you have here?
> Just have Aashenpreet and Orange talk to them if they won't take human form, you don't have to do anything.
> Take a more active role. Those that won't take human form to speak with you are going to have to.
> (Specify)
>>43849237
Oh sorry, I was already writing when your vote popped up.
>>43849328
> Take a more active role. Those that won't take human form to speak with you are going to have to.
Hiss did say something about making the human form more of a norm at snakehome
>>43849231
Thanks for the excellent archive description by the way.
>>43849328
> Take a more active role. Those that won't take human form to speak with you are going to have to.
>>43849328
> Take a more active role. Those that won't take human form to speak with you are going to have to.
If they refuse to take human form they get the lowest marks and recommendations for shit jobs with not improvement.
>>43849328
> Just have Aashenpreet and Orange talk to them if they won't take human form, you don't have to do anything.
however hassle them look a good bureaucrat if they don't talk to us, just no need to go to extremes just yet.
>>43849328
> Take a more active role. Those that won't take human form to speak with you are going to have to.
>>43849416
This is perfect! I can't wait to survey whatsherface
>>43849347
sall good, happens sometimes when you post late i don't mind it..
>>43849416
all we're doing is objectively recording their snake arts though
>>43849328
>> Take a more active role. Those that won't take human form to speak with you are going to have to.
KNOBBLE. WE ARE THE ARTFUL KNOBBLER.
We'll be like a Snake-cop. Anybody going against Hiss' orders gets knobbled and alchemey'd, not necessarily in that order.
>>43849532
Whoops, left my shitposting nametag on.
> Take a more active role. Those that won't take human form to speak with you are going to have to.
This isn't so bad, as you begin your bureaucratic rampage across Snakehome. You've spent the last several months getting screwed around either directly or indirectly by various snakes. Literally screwed too if you count Hiss but she did enough figurative screwing as well. It's well past time you got the opportunity to mess with them back.
The three of you wander through the village and the forest beyond, finding snakes and forcing them into human form. Most of them already have chosen human forms and are talkative without much hassle.
But there's still a fair number who have never done it before, leading to you giving them your catalogue regardless of what actual gender they are. It's not like you can tell anyway, they're snakes. Most of them don't seem to care that much anyway and you can't complain about the end result, increasing the number of women in the village by a significant amount.
Apart from Orange, nobody's been stupid enough to disobey the Serpent Queen's direct servant and so you haven't formed any new wish-bonds. And unlike Quedesh, they don't seem to have the same kind of patronizing attitude that Aashenpreet or Tanni would have towards humans. They still act superior but they aren't smarmy about it and they don't expect you to serve them beyond letting them lie around the place. Even the royalty hunts their own food.
Aashenpreet turns her nose up at the general complete lack of civilization that the serpents here show but you sort of like it. It's easy to imagine Hiss growing up here.
Orange remains petulant but she (he?) doesn't drag their feet and they carry paper around nicely. You're only real problem with them is a general confusion about what pronoun to call them.
And despite her distaste, Aashenpreet seems to be having fun just talking to people without having to lie about what she is. She doesn't get enough of that.
1/2
>>43849564
And in time, as your circulate through the forest, you end up in the memorial grove. You're still writing out a report on a snake that you had christened Snouty, an extremely powerful rattler that had some trouble shapeshifting clothes.
You find that most of Oster's students are gone, either dismissed or currently out on errands. Only the curly-haired woman from before remains, sitting on the side of a statue and talking with Oster. They seem to be enjoying themselves.
> Try to eavesdrop.
> Ask Oster how the training's been going.
> CENSUS TIME
> Leave them be for now.
> Use Potion (Specify)
> Make a wish (Specify)
> Other
>>43849620
> Try to eavesdrop.
oh god everyone in snakehome will have absolutely terrible names
>>43849630
Cennen is canonically terrible at names and has been since anons decided to call the snake princess 'Hiss'.
Also because of the rejected vote to name Aashenpreet Cuddles or something.
>>43849620
> Try to eavesdrop.
>>43849672
I'm terrible at making up names too, I just find the thought of a bunch of beautiful women with terrible names that are actually soul-eating monsters is hilarious
>>43849620
>> CENSUS TIME
We're back, pumpkin! Time to get you sorted up!
>>43849620
> Try to eavesdrop.
I bet they're reminiscing about the snake king or something
>>43849672
don't forget the bunyip named bunyip. what's he been up to anyway? we brought him here if i remember right.
>>43849620
>> CENSUS TIME
Surprise her by knobbling, while shouting out "NO-ONE EXPECTS THE SNAKHOME INQUISITION"
>>43849620
> CENSUS TIME
I enjoy this job.
>>43849620
>CENSUS TIME
This is probably the best present Hiss has ever given us.
>>43849620
>> Try to eavesdrop.
>>43849620
> CENSUS TIME
Like any good bureaucrat we're going to abuse what little power we have.
> Try to eavesdrop.
>CENSUS TIME
You motion at Orange and Aashenpreet to hold still for a moment. You want to hear what they're talking about.
"...can it?," the woman finishes.
"Nope," Oster says. "Just the way it is. I wish it could have been settled another way but you know the Queen."
"Do I ever. I remember when she was just out of the egg, Fel had to wear the heaviest gloves just to stop her from constantly biting him."
"What happened to those two anyway? I haven't seen them around."
"Didn't you know? Her Majesty killed them in her escape."
Oster bows his head.
"When are their statues going u-"
It is actually quite hard to be quiet in a forest when you are ten-feet tall. Aashenpreet hits her head on another tree and stumbles on something as a result, falling into the clearing and crushing the wooden memorial that you had found Oster in front of last night. She cleaves it apart, only the leaf-bladed sword remaining.
"Oh! OW! Sorry! I'm sorry! That wasn't anything important, was it?"
Aash rolls around, narrowly avoiding tipping over further statues.
"It's fine," Oster says, an unusual amount of acid in his voice. "It was just my mother."
"Oh nooooooooo."
With your cover thoroughly blown, you march out of the forest with Orange in tow.
"Census time! The Serpent Queen has endowed within me the power to take the first royal census, recording the names and Arts of all serpents!"
The woman relaxes, having been startled into a killing pose by Aashenpreet's fall.
"Sorry but I don't think you'll be able to write my name down. It cannot be spoken by human tongue."
> "You have ten seconds to think of one that can."
> Assign her one. (Specify)
> Other
>>43849832
I'm absolutely terrible at making up names, but I'll make one for you if you can't come up with anything
>>43849832
>"Hahaha"
>> "You have ten seconds to think of one that can."
>Also we will fix that statue. Sorry Oster.
>>43849832
> "You have ten seconds to think of one that can."
>And then we will assign you one!
Also I hope you eavesdropping fuckers are happy, we broke his mom.
>>43849832
> Assign her one. (Specify)
Curly
Also tell Aash to get back to a normal human form, the huge form doesn't really seem worth it at this point
>>43849858
This
>>43849832
I'm torn between antagonising her further and playing nice to hear stories about Hiss' childhood
> "We'll sort that out later, tell me about your arts"
>>43849832
Wait dudes, this one seems cool with Oster. We should let him name her.
Since we just, you know, broke his fucking mom and all.
>>43849832
Clarissa, Curly for short.
>>43849977
I like this one
>>43849994
Our least worst name, especially for the snake lady that's nice to Oster. He likes himself some lady snakes, for sure for sure.
Lean in and let him know we can make more soulmend if she eats him, or something for the poison if she eats him in another fashion.
Subtly nudge Aash in the ribs and wonder if she was his "Special snake friend" before he left.
WE ARE MAD WITH POWER AND WILL BULLY ALL THE SNAKES.
> "You have ten seconds to think of one that can."
"You still need a human use-name and if you can't think of one in ten seconds I'll assign you one. And I'm absolutely terrible at making up names."
"He really is," Orange says glumly, having witnessed your naming rampage across Snakehome.
"Hold on," she says. "What does it matter what you call me? It's not going to be my actual name."
"Didn't you hear what I said?," you say, waving the paper in your hand about. "This is the royal census. All the information in here is what the Queen gets and she'll believe every word written in it. If I write something as your name here, that's what she's going to call you."
It's strange, when you think about it. Bureaucracy is almost a type of magic in of itself.
"Five seconds."
She looks extremely distraught and not a little bit angry.
"Fine! It's El-"
"Fine," Aashenpreet mumbles underneath her breath as she writes her first word down, still picking chips of wood out of her sari.
"Uh Aash," you say. "That's just a word in this language. She was going to say something else."
"But I already wrote it down!"
"That's absurd," Fine says. "I'm not defined by what a piece of paper says I am."
"Welcome to bureaucracy. Now I just need your Snake Arts."
Fine looks to Oster for backup but he seems distracted right now, holding the wooden replica sword in his hands.
"No. This is ridiculous. I think that I am accorded at least a little respect here. If her Majesty wants to know, she can get off her royal posterior and come ask me. Now, if you've finished desecrating the remains of our finest servants, you can leave."
> Leave. You'll come back later.
> Write her entry in for her, make it as bad as possible.
> "I'm sorry but this is by royal decree. I'm afraid I must insist."
> Go back to Hiss and told her exactly what she said regarding her, word for word.
> Nobble
> Use Potion (Specify)
> Make a wish (Specify)
> Other
>>43849832
>> Assign her one. (Specify)
ostre, so how do your arts work
>>43850024
>> "I'm sorry but this is by royal decree. I'm afraid I must insist."
its only because you are respected that we must know the specifics of your person
>>43850024
> Corruption
Insinuate you would be amenable to a bribe. Then take her in for attempted bribery.
Or maybe fucking drop the census bullshit and go comfort Oster. Make Aash apologize properly.
>>43850024
> "I'm sorry but this is by royal decree. I'm afraid I must insist."
I'm just doing my job here, this is necessary for the war effort that your people have demanded
>>43850023
Don't know if that innuendo would work since
>Oster mentions Hiss isn't his type
>Is the only member of the party that wasn't entranced by Tanni.
>once loved the Snake King like a man loved the women
Oster appears to be hella gay
>>43850024
> "I'm sorry but this is by royal decree. I'm afraid I must insist."
Cennen's way to vent frustration is to get drunk with makeshift booze and then be a little shit to everyone BUT the source of his frustration
>>43850024
>>43850065
>>43850081
I'll append the non-corrupt actions of this post, namely being nice to oster and this snake who seems unusually reasonable.
>>43850024
> Conscript
Tell her that only official census regulators are allowed to edit the census form, and that if she wants to change her name than she will have to come down to your office during business hours and fill out a name change form. Sadly, your office is back in your village as you have not yet had time to relocate the main branch to Snakehome, and as such she will have to wait until Hiss reminds you of where it was after eating your memories.
OR.
She can assist you and become an official census regulator. Obviously Orange is crap at the job, and she seems to have a better understanding of human regulations than most. She can work with Aash and they can teach other about their respective cultures and improve both of their outlooks.
Additionally, she will be able to make changes to the Census form, if there are any issues
If she says yes, then we congratulate her and tell her that she has joined voluntarily as your subordinate and that any changes made will have to go through you for approval. Changing her name from "Fine" seems reasonable, though, you can't have your officials sounding silly now can you?
If she tries to interrupt, just carry on talking while staring her down in the eyes and let her confusion at not being able to trap you work.
>>43850136
This is the most magnificent option.
I kind of want her on our side though, since she seems reasonable; We just got off on the wrong foot. Tail. scale?
We need a better relationship with her.
>>43850024
>>43850117
You're right, she seems quite civil, for a snake. We should calm down and get on her good side.
> Apologize to her, ask to start over
Fine is a good name, though.
>>43850024
> When in doubt, apply more Bureaucracy.
Tell her that you're fine with her remaining fine, your job is just to fill out the forms. If she has no snake arts to report, you'll just put down none then.
Of course, this might affect her rank with the other snakes, but that's up to her.
Besides, the Queen is a busy and important person, it's a little ridiculous to expect her to come out just for that.
>>43850166
Don't you mean it's afinename?
>>43850136
Oh god this. This is infuriating. Please do this, especially the part where she has to register at our unknown village office.
>>43850136
can't we just be reasonable?
>>43850157
Why thank you Anon. I see this as a way to make up with her, and then flat-foot her again when she realizes that she just agreed to be our subordinate.
> "I'm sorry but this is by royal decree. I'm afraid I must insist."
> Be nice
You nudge Aashenpreet in the midriff and try to push her towards Oster. She doesn't budge at first but soon gets the message, kneeling down next to Oster and wrapping him up in an involuntary hug.
Oster looks displeased by this development, possibly because this is how Aashenpreet also kills things but you're fairly sure that she's apologizing. Fairly sure.
Meanwhile you stare 'Fine' down, deflecting her gaze by showing no fear of her. Snakes can only hypnotize prey after all. You are not prey. And besides, it'd just bounce off your Bane anyway.
"I'm sorry but this is by royal decree. I'm afraid I must insist."
"Can you at least change my name?"
You look behind her for a moment, noting that Aashenpreet has let Oster go and now appears to be promising to build him a new one.
"Fine is a pretty nice name."
You might say that it's a fine name but you don't want to antagonize her TOO much.
"It's a joke."
"Just give me your Snake Arts please."
She sighs.
"I could kill you pretty easily, you know? How does that make you feel?"
"You can't possibly be worse than the one who sent me."
That actually scores a laugh with her and she seems to calm down.
"Advanced Skin-shedding, Hypnotic Gaze, Serpent's Temptation, Devour Soul, Life's Blood, Consummate Predator, Scales, Artskin, Hunt Sense, Camouflage, Shallow Bite."
You stare at Orange until she begrudgingly writes it all down.
"Now can you please change my name to something else?"
> Let her choose her name.
> Assign her another name.
> "Only official census assistants are allowed to request modifications to the paperwork." Offer conscription.
> Tell her that you might if you get to nobble her.
> Use Potion (Specify)
> Make a wish (Specify)
> Other
>>43850192
No, this is now a bureaucracy. Besides, this is reasonable. I mean, we don't have the internet so of course you would need to register at the main office, otherwise how would people know what's going on? Also, you can't let just anyone change official records, they could have one name one day, and then change it the next. They might even do so for unscrupulous reasons, or take other people's names that they like better, or start a brown market name swapping business where they outright steal and trick people out of names they want to re-sell, registering multiple names at once!
Madness, Anon, what we are fighting is Madness itself. We are going to war, and we're going to need to be organized. Anything else outside of the system might as well be sedition.
>>43850216
>> "Only official census assistants are allowed to request modifications to the paperwork." Offer conscription.
Consensual nobbling? That's just perverted.
>>43850216
> Let her choose her name.
>>43850216
>> Let her choose her name.
>>43850216
> Offer Conscription
Truly, the horrors of the engines of war are nothing beneath that of an obstinate civil service.
>>43850216
> Let her choose her name.
>>43850216
Wow, this is a pretty awesome way to end Thanksgiving. Thanks for running.
I say we conscript her so that she has more screen time. I like the Fine snake lady.
