>Party of four
>Alchemist archer, half orc berserker, human ranger, and magus (myself)
>In dungeon
>Come to a room with 5 Skeletons, 1 of them in plate armor
>First two rush our Ranger, breaking there swords off in his shoulder and leg
>We kill the 4 right away with lucky rolls
>Plate skeleton left
>Cant hit him worth a shit
>Alchemist rolls a 1
>His bow string snaps, hitting our almost dead ranger with fatal damage
>Skeleton hits our half our, making him unconscious/dead
>Uses an ability to use Thundercalp to get rid of skeleton's armor
>Alchemist uses a spell on me to make me giant
>Activate spell strike and weapon enhancement to make sure this thing is dust
>Have a res scroll on my person
>Roll a 3
>99% chance of killing him
>1d100
>fucking 100
>Res Scroll turned into a Reincarnation Scroll
>Ranger comes back as bird man with working wings and flight thanks to very lucky rolls
>Ranger is pissed he is not human anymore
>mfw i cant believe our luck
Anyone got any stories?
>>47917334
It's Edge of the Empire. The party consists of us four assholes:
>Our host has a Trandoshan brawler, who is insanely strong
>A female Bothan Slicer who for some reason sounds a bit like Clint Eastwood
>A female Rodian trader who's also involved with the black market
>And me, who is a droid bounty hunter obsessed with perfection.
Our first mission is to find another Krayt dragon for a hutt. Naturally, since we're in it for the dosh, we accept. So we find the Krayt dragon nest, and the mother is there.
Set guns to stun mode, and we start stunning the shit out of it. The Trandoshan is grabbed by it, and the fucker responds by beating the shit out of it. Sure, I help with my sutpidly high rolls and crits, but the Trandoshan literally wrestles this thing down to the ground.
After that, he plays holographic chess and loses. We pilot the ship, and then we find that our employer has gone into hiding. Well shit.
>Be mon calamari scientist
>Attempt to loot corpse
>Dm spends destiny point.
>"ITS A TRAP"
Still passed my vigilance roll and only took 2 damage from a frag grenade going off in my face. Shame for the scavenger in the car next to me.
I got a good one.
>Rogue Trader
>late game tech priest
>session before I just survived a fight with a shard of C'tan, lost 2 units of smurf termies, grey knight termies and a inquisitor with his retinue.
>lost right arm and left leg in the fight.
Fuckingfleshybits.png
>3 month warp travel, build new arm and leg then out of adamantine, new arm has a built in melta gun.
AvedeusMechanicus.gif
>arrive at location
>colony is in total open warfare between heretics and loyalist.
>take gun cutter
>pilot servitor rolls 3 consecutive 100s
>mfw tech priest gets pasted
>mfw friends left me behind and made it out alive.
1/2
>team of five,
>standard gnome bard,
>human ranger called "a boy named Sue" who loves horses and knows everything about them,
>human with split personalities that switch on a hidden cue known only by the DM, so he switches between a mage and a rogue at weird times with no recollection of experiences with the previous personality.
>A human monk who is literally aang from avatar the last air ended.
>I'm a half orc monk who left the monastery who is prone to violent outbursts and has arachnophobia.
>defending a farm from a platoon of dragon born.
>Coat our weapons in our feces to add a d4 or poison damage over time if we hit an attack.
>Get shitty rolls and out shit pushed. Literally shit as fuel everywhere since we planned to burn the place down if shit went south, got wrecked so hard since the farmer sold us out.
>Be prisoners now, being led back to their camp, shackles on wrists and thick rope binding our ankles but still allowing us to walk.
>>47920475
2/2
>Make camp around a bunch of standing stones.
>Gnome wants me to make a distraction so he can try and find something to break his bindings.
>Stand up and start preaching some peaceful monk bullshit to the nearest dragon born. Have shit for charisma, hits me in the face with the butt end of the halberd to put me on the ground.
>Dragonborn leader kills a horse in front of the ranger (they have a history). Ranger goes nuts, but the let him attempt to be an asshole in vain.
>While he is being a distraction, I decide to role a sleight of hand and strength check to yank out one of my tusks(or whatever orcs have) and use it to weaken the rope. great rolls, yank the fucker out and start chipping away at the rope.
>Sue hits one of the stones out of frustration, suddenly the whole places shakes. Wtf?
>He notices that even the guards are distracted, hits it again, whole place shakes and starts rising, most guards either knocked to the ground or knocked off whatever in God's cock were on.
>Everyone seizes there opportunity, escaping in different directions,
>I break my ankle binds and use my shackles to strangle the dragonborn asshole and all peaceful monk thoughts leave my mind inner orc comes out.
>Eventually it's taking to long since the squad is already procuring horses for the escape.
> I have one tusk left, roll to bite the dragonborn's neck. Great roll, rip out his jugular and watch as he bleeds out. Monk leap the fuck out of there onto a horse.
Don't know how much longer my half-orc is going to stay on the monk path, first being he's killed.
In a different game I punched a guy with a half orc rather than using a weapon with the intention of injuring him enough for capture. Rolled a natural 20, ripped his heart out of his chest and ate it.
>TL;DR
Half-orcs are fun as fuck to play.
>Playing RT with some homebrew
>Group started as street scum
>Four yeas later we have a good ship and crew
>Lifelong girlfriend bails after stealing a sack of thrones
>One day meet a high born lady wanting to chart passage with our legal front company
>Get to know her
>Through adventures fall in love
>Considering marriage
>One day taking her to a doctor for headaches
>Nothing physically wrong
>Suspect warp fuckery
>Take her to a Seer
>Spends a few seconds linking telepathically with her
>Tears away and vomits
>Her mind is almost a completely new construct
>A psyker ripped a woman's mind apart and rebuilt it into this entirely new person
>Start tracking things down
>Mind-controlled and bribed officials everywhere as this new entity was created
>Trace her back to a pleasure world
>She was a world class prostitute
>Abducted a long time ago
>Dig up footage
>Go all CSI on it and reveal it was our Psyker
>Confront him
>"I just wanted to help you get over whats'ername"
>>47920622
How brutal was the murder?
>>47920640
Couldn't bring ourselves to kill him. We bargained away some xenotech for a plot of land, built a small place and hired ex-guard snipers with tranqs to keep him there, so he couldn't use the power on anyone else.
Well, I just had my first game to night.
>Human Cleric. Start in tavern with a halfling bard, a half elf druid named Labia and her sister Vulva the Sorceress.
>I'm literally the only one taking it seriously.
>Roll for perception
>I get assisted 20, am the only one who notices the burning smell comic from outside.
>Take druid with me
>Bitch makes ME peek around the corner
>Four Kobolds spot us, but close enough to tavern door to run in and warn everyone
>Explosion happens on both sides of the tavern
>Everyone makes decent rolls, only take 2 damage apiece.
>Front of the tavern is on fire, not the easy way out
> Bard rolls to jump through and continue singing, rolls 16 acrobatics, 18 Performance. Fucking nailed it.
>Sorceress tries it too. Rolls a natural 20. Nails it and comes out the other side like a fucking Phoenix.
>I decide to run upstairs and jump to the next building.
>Run for the first window I see, it leads tithe front of the tavern.
>Break through and roll for acrobatics. 12. Followed by 6 damage. While party fought the Kobolds, I Channeled Energy to heal myself and anyone else in the burning building.
Is it normal that I almost killed myself? I had 10 HP to start.
>>47920828
>Is it normal that I almost killed myself?
A commoner has 4 hp. Getting stuck with a dagger once can put him down.
>level 2 fighter with a falcion deals minimum four damage
>16 strength "commoner" deals four damage with a dagger so long as he two-hands it for strength and a half
That's why low level games are the most fun: it's so easy to die the most memories are made, and no one really cares if their character dies because you just started. The GM will probably let you make Bob the Second if you really want.
>>47921079
I'd say low level DnD is the absolute worst because it's justa grand waste of time to go through 3-4 TPKs before you actually get to play a character that sticks around.
Other systems it's fine but in DnD it's shit. Also most GMs go by the if you roll a 1 the most unlikely of things happens and that's basically it for the guy you just spent 15 minutes making.
>>47920501
Everything can be fun if you play it good/right.
wump
