Bad GMPC stories, anyone?
>>47694124
>On a ferry, going down a river towards a swamp town or whatever.
>Attacked by spider things that crawl up on the deck and corner the bard
>Rogue and I start hacking away, more spiders pop up.
>"You're outnumbered! You can't keep up this fight"
>Rogue is fine and I pop a healing potion. Continue to hack n' slash.
>'rescued' by one of the ferry goers. Joe, who proceeds to hit spiders with his eyes closed and one shot them.
>This NPC proceeds to follow us for this section of the campaign and continue to 'rescue' us when we're in 'trouble'
>>47695242
Forgot to mention that the big reveal was that he was basically a demigod in the game (custom system and setting, he was actually a dragon)
>>47695242
>>47695411
did you kill him?
>>47695411
Did you tell the GM that it's not cool what he did?
I had one game where the GMPC was basically a DBZ character that fucked everything
Same DM had another one that was a werewolf and tried to hide it. Badly. Like "When the moon comes up, he runs behind a tree and sends a wolf to help you fight. Bet you can't figure it out, huh?"
Different GM made a stupid-high level monk that basically existed to keep us on the railroad by attacking our characters when we tried to do something else or just say something he didn't like. Character also flirted with the party a lot, which was just uncomfortable
>>47695242
It's almost straight out of a textbook.
>>47695680
When someone demonstrates behavior like this, there's probably no point trying to reason with them.
We live in a self-serving, narcissistic culture. Not everyone is equipped with the awareness to socialize appropriately. When you are faced with stupidity, you're best bet is to ignore it, and depending on the circumstances move on.
You can't convince an idiot they're an idiot. That's how idiocy works.
>>47695852
>you're
*your
typo or something idk how that happened.
>>47695835
>>47695493
>>47695680
Nope didn't kill him. Did attempt to tell the GM that I thought Joe could've been done better, but some of the other players convinced me to let it go. That campaign went on for a very long time to test out the GMs own special system, it was all very that GM and a little bit of magical realm.
>>47695852
I know.
But in my opinion if you don't say anything it's as if you leave a person who is visibly ill/wounded lying on the street, without calling the ambulance or at least trying to help. Don't quote me on this metaphor, usually people would be grateful if you helped them while they are sick in the middle of the street: it's just something I feel would make the world a better place.
You just have to learn how to say it in a way that won't make him feel like he has to defend himself.
If you were the GM now and I was the player and I came up to you after the session and said "Listen Anon, I feel like this Joe guy you put on the boat with us is doing everything. Like it's his story. Isn't the game supposed to be about us, about our player characters? I would have a lot more fun beating the monsters without having someone else save me during the fight." what would your reply be?
As stupid as people are, if you confront them alone, without making them feel attacked and without giving them any reason to defend themselves, they might just listen to you: at least that's what I would do.
After all, criticism is not Just about giving feedback... it's about helping the other person realize what his action have caused, giving them tipps on how to improve their behaviour.
It's not really difficult to do, too: all that needs to be done is to not sound accusing toward the other person and avoid using you-sentences. For example, use "I feel like my character's not very useful, if all the NPCs do not like him from the get-go and won't answer any of his innocuos questions." instead of "You're making my character useless by having all those NPCs stonewall us all the time GM! What's up with that?!"
>>47695986
story tiem?
>>47696143
Sure thing anon. I'm bored as fuck so I guess I'll recount this. Lemme explain the system first.
> There are two worlds. Our world (called the Shattered World) and Oonharah, named after the settings chief notChristianGod god. These worlds don't usually directly interact with each other.
>If you're life is shitty enough in the Shattered World, you're going to eventually end up being teleported to Oonharah where your problems are fixed and you probably get a new body.
> For instance, my charater, Harvey, was an Attorney at law. I lost a big case and it ruined my life. Ergo, I woke up in a magical forest where the trees were rainbow and bullshit like that.
>Also of note, humans are a minority in this setting. They're only native to our world. When you are transported to Oonharah there's a chance you'll be changed into another race. This includes Beastmen, Elvar (notelves) and Simbayids(also known as cancerous). You can still retain your human shape, but it makes people distrustful of you.
> I was Harvey (birdperson) attorney at law. Only one person at the table got it until I eventually came clean.
>This setting is heavily god focused (GM was pretty into religion). There were 12 gods, and it was mandatory that you pick one as atheists eventually wither away without some of that sweet sweet god juice.
>Forgot to mention, objects from this world that are brought into Oonharah corrupt the world. They do horrible twisted things like a gun making you shoot yourself. Or a DDR machine forcing people to dance. The PCs in this case were tasked with bringing these 'splinters' back to their proper places.
And now you know about Splinters of Oonharah. I still have the pdf of the rules if people want them. I'll write up a few stories.
>>47695411
>>47695242
Currently experiencing the same thing. The DM has thrown an unwanted cleric into our party (to be fair we don't have a healer but we're all tanky af so who cares) and he's now revealed that the character is literally an agent of the gods. Everyone but one person in the party hates this railroading motherfucker so every session involves us trying to kill him or just shit talking him to his face while he loads us with exposition.
>>47696336
That actually sounds like a pretty sweet setting in the right hands. Please give PDF, I might try and run it sometime.
>>47696336
>>47696336
So, just after >>47695242 our party was headed to an island in the territory of the moon goddess of lies and horseshit (I think she was actually an 8 legged centaur with bat wings)
Our party:
>Kai, a time wizard and priestess of the sun goddess. She's also got main character syndrome
>Bob, an unremarkable thief whose player tries to break the system at every turn.
>Some bard thing who worships the god of greed and has a dragon tattoo on her face
>the GMPC Joe, who has a dark and mysterious past.
>Harvey Birdperson, the 7 foot tall vibrant red parrot man with a buster sword.
>"Heroes! Take this boat to some island to stop a rogue worshiper of the sun god from doing bad shit!"
Lol 'kay.
>on our way to this island, we're besieged by the god of storms (frog legged cunt) and the god of death ( (his emo brother).
can we swim for it?
>No, the island is too far away
...are their dinghies?
>They'd be smashed to bits. Plus if you die the death god will totally eat your souls or something.
Having met a problem that cannot be beat, Harvey sits down to play a game of poker with Bob as the ship is violently smashed by rogue waves.
>WAIT! cries NPC Joe, Bard-girl, contact Roon (greed god) and ask him for a deal!!!!!!!!
HOLY SHIT JOE GOOD IDEA I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE HERE
>Roon says that he'll get us to the island, but only if we promise in blood to convert the islanders to his following. Lady-Bard doth agree, and we're spirited away to the island. OOC, I begin searching for alcohol.
So what now?
>The villagers tell you of an ancient prophecy, wherein a dragon shall save them from their squalor and blah blah blah.
Dragons don't real yet, and we haven't heard of them at all so far, so it must be girly-bard's tattoo! Neat, maybe we'll get an island base...
>>47696710
part 2
>Find hidden tower on the island, literally sky scraper,
How did we not see that?
> It was hidden by magic, but something has revealed it.
Siege the tower, slaughter baddies left and right, Joe leads the charge and racks up a better kill count than Pol Pot.
>At the top of the tower is a British sounding elvar. He greets Joe warmly, and is holding a shattered world artifact in his hands.
>SIMON! NPC Joe shouts, You'll never get away with this!
Fightan starts. Harvey is ready for BBEG
> Joe struggles with Simon in the center of the battlefield, we hold off mooks.
I guess I'll help Joe.
>No he's to powerful!
Simon bitch smacks Joe, then proceeds to eat the artifact.
Bullshit happens, and Simon disappears in a cloud of black smoke.
>Joe explains that he's hounded Simon for years, trying to prevent his ultimate goal.
Of what?
>Of becoming a dragon!!!!!
Cloud of black smoke bursts from my face, nearly killing me and putting me out of the fight. Simon the smoke dragon v2.
>Joe also produces his own artifact and consumes it, becoming a dragon at the speed of plot!
>Bob, thanks to game breaking bullshit, revives me so I can watch the duel.
Turns out the prophecy meant Joe, and not the PCs.
God fucking dammit.
>>47696469
>cleric
>literally an agent of the gods.
Isn't that, like, part of the job description, there?
>>47696762
No no, he's literally a deity taking a mortal shape so that the DM has an overpowered Mary Sue to keep us on track and following his story line, even though every session starts with "it's open, so do whatever you want." We've straight up ganged up and stabbed him to death before only to have him reappear the next time it's convenient totally unharmed.
>>47696485
Harvanon here
Here's a download link for the system: https://www.mediafire.com/folder/f6v57xkk7iwlz/oonharah
Warning, it's unpolished, unbalanced, and very unfinished. But, I at least provided me with some fun stories.
>>47696857
We had a GM keep bringing back his BBEG, but it actually turned out to be pretty interesting since he apparently made a deal with Asmodeus and was immune to whatever had killed him before.
>>47696865
Thanks, will probably tinker about with it. Dank stories Harvanon
>>47696725
Sounds like Joe never needed the PCs in the first place. The only difference you guys made was basically just keeping Mr. Ultimate Dragon company. What kind of bullshit story was your DM running here?
>>47697214
thanks anon
How about that time we made a dragon?
Dragons were very hard to kill, but once it was managed, rare enchanting materials can be obtained through them. In particular, dragon blood and a White Lotus flower.
So after our last story, fast forward a while
After Simon was killed, Bob took his lotus thingy to use of enchanting, and also some vials of blood (which was like super PCP if you drank it).
What I did like about that GM is that he had a plan for everything, and so when Bob decided to pour the dragon's blood onto the dragon's lotus, the GM just smiled at us.
>There's a bright flash of light, and the skies begin to rumble. You uncover your eyes and see that there is a rather large egg sitting in front of you!
Bob did you just become a father?
>It's important to note that the gods of the world believe that most dragons are some kind of heresy that must be smote. Actually MAKING a dragon egg? motherfucker that's super heresy.
So while the entire party flips our collective shit, the GM whispers something to Kai (main character syndrome)
>Guys! Joe might know more about dragons and shit!
Our new player (and good friend of mine) notices my painful wincing.
>Joe tells you that he has been spending "time" with the goddess of love and nature, and can maybe talk the gods into accepting of your dragon baby.
Aren't you a heretic?
>Fuck off, Harvey. This is difficult for mortals to understand.
>Whatever man, just don't make the gods kill me in a cut scene.Time to do some quest and kill some bullshit!
>There's some magical realm weirdness in here, but it doesn't really fit the theme of the thread.
Fast forward to the hatchening, and all the gods have suddenly warmed up the idea of this dragon babby.
>Her new name is Vor, and as soon as she's hatched she oneshots everything she can see. Our new plan of action is to sic our dragon daughter at things while me and the other fighter twiddle our thumbs.
God fucking dammit.
>>47697425
This DM had a penchant for telling a story.
And by God you were going to sit there and play along.
Wasn't really all bad, and I made some good friends, but some parts were pretty bad.
>>47697511
Moar, I must have moar.
Also magical realm how? I think it counts since the GM seems to be driving it.
>>47697581
Ask and you shall receive!
> One of the items we needed to get for the hatchening ceremony was some incense or whatever bullshit.
>This incense is mostly kept by cults of Edwen, the god of sex (who looks like a phoenix and is friend to all).
C-can we find it anywhere else? pleasepleaseplease....
>Sorry, Harvey, time is of the essence, get ye to the sex cults.
>Go to a temple of Edwen, find that all the priestesses are gone. Kai (the intelligence tank time wizard) rolls up some investigation checks.
>Notice that there's a hidden door to the basement.
Hidden trapdoor in a sex church? I can smell trouble brewing.
>This dungeon must be massive! The walls seem to be lined with chains and the like...
Fucking sex dungeons.
>The priestesses have all been killed or taken..ehm..'hostage' by some splinter, don't remember what it did. I tried really hard not to listen to the GM's descriptions.
>Do remember that it had tentacles, so fill in a few blanks for yourself.
>Rescue hostages, hit baddies, grab incense and fucking peace out.
>The priestesses are super grateful that we've rescued them. Look to me and my massive muscles. Anything we can reward you with?
>Spend 5 minutes explaining that birds (and thus birdmen) have cloacae and cannot have sex. Ask GM politely to exclude me from any further sections like that.
>It's worth noting that there's an entire class called "Gaijin" yes, you read that correct. They were designed with the escort from Firefly in mind. They do sex magic and are kinda like Geisha. They have a spell called Tentai where you grow tentacles. Picked up too late on that red flag.
>>47697871
Yeeeeaaaahhhh I'm reading the PDF, but keep it coming, this is better than call of cthulu cosmic horror.
>>47697086
Your BBEG was Doomsday?
It's not so much GMPCs as NPCs in general. Almost every character we meet in my GM's game who isn't a random enemy mook is some sort of super powerful ancient hero, an ancient being of incomprehensible horror or even a pretty regular person who is still far more bad ass then everyone in the party.
The character's aren't necesarily bad, either. I think the issue is that our GM has all these ideas he wants to cram into the game but then doesn't balance it out with more mundane stuff. It just gets a little infuriating having the GM constantly joke about 'oh yeah if you'd fought those guys they would have destroyed you no doubt about it' when 'those guys' are like fucking everyone we meet.
>>47697957
Wanna hear about That Time the GM Gave us Super-Plague?
>For some reason or another, venture directly into magical chernobyl. I think it was something to do with a massive splinter that turned out to be an m4 Sherman tank. Gods need heroes to go fight it.
>Gained a new party member, Scaeolang the wolf-man fighter guy. Good friend of mine, and his first real character.
>There are still isolated villagers in magical chernobyl, which is ruled by Roon, massive-furry-dragon-like-god-of -greed-and-totally-not-a -Jewish-stereotype-fuck-off.
>Party is chilling out in a village and helping it rebuild after an attack by splinter husks (people who are corrupted by splinter artifacts).
>See a fire in the distance. I vote to ignore, since we have a mission and most of these people seem to hate us anyway.
>Vor, our dragon babby (now appearing to be about a 16 year old elf girl) rushes off at the actual speed of sound to help.
>Okay, I get it GM, you want us to do something.
>Vor returns and says a necromancer is smashing shit up.
>Necromancer means mook minions, Harvey and Scaeolang realize this is a great opportunity to hurt things.
>Joined this time by GMPC Jason, a fishman thing who breaks things and worships the god of the ocean. This GMPC was slightly better, since he had actual stats and wasn't a glory hog.
>Destroy minions, tag team the necro with Scaeolang and get help from the time wizard Kai.
>Hey guys, roll resist (basically a save against any kinda stuff).
Whatever
>Fuck around in the village until Jason sees something wrong with me. My feathers are falling out.
>>47698240
>Harvey you have the plague! You all have the plague! Plague is super bad, slowly eats away at your stats until you are a husk and beg for death.
>One cure
>Super expensive, gods won't intervene because blah blah blah blah.
>Jason says he's seen this before, and will do what he can to help out.
Couldn't you have said something?
Fuck off, Harvey.
>Bob bullshits up a tasty cure. One catch: gotta kill ourselves for it to work.
>Kai ain't having that shit, decides to become a Simbayid of sun goddes. Basically trades in her current body, plague and all, for a new form that her 'goddess' decides on.
>GM heavily implies that this is the best and least heretical way.
>Trade in my current body and lose all that characterization? Plus a That GM gets to remake my body in his image? Nah fuck it, bob kill me!
>Be forced to sit through about 1-2 hours of Kai talking to her god and getting new form. Bob PLEASE kill me.
>Bob kills Scaeolang, himself, and I.
>Simbayid of death (grim reapess) is super pissed off by this. Her name is Lashy, and she's not happy with Harvey (don't know why me only). Can't break the rules of the game, so she gives me my cure, but puts a tracking mark on me that shocks painfully whenever I talk about resurrection, no resist roll. (this causes HUGE trouble with my god later on).
>Continue on with main quest after a quick rest and an OOC smoke break to complain with Sceolang.
I wonder if anyone else from my group browses tg? Oh well, too late now.
>>47698063
My GM has this problem also, literally everything we meet that stands against us cant be intimidated, reasoned with, or otherwise dispelled because they are so badass. They also keep scaling to us, so it's never like we actually get stronger and can overcome them. If we had chosen to fight one of the bad characters early in the game (which could have easily happened) and she was at the power we just fought her at we would have been straight wiped in 2 rounds of combat.
>>47698259
Here's some fun notes from the PDF actually.
I'm pretty sure plague is very low level spell from the god of sickness and gross (Eratrix). Capable of decimating entire cities at low level. Kay.
If you browse the god spells, and look at Fakari, you might notice the innate bonus he gives you reads: you have +2 might, deal with it. This is because I asked if Fakari could have a better buff, since gods like Hali give all around vision and shit.
The game needed to be completely remade twice. Once was due to me, since my might reached ungodly levels and I couldn't miss any attack ever.
Enchanting invalidates all other classes. Bob the rogue was able to enchant his way around every problem thrown at him.
>>47698259
I think the worst part is you're tossing out scenarios that had good potential, just got fucked.
>>47698355
Yeah, and in the moment most of them seemed rather fun, except the all RP sessions, since they were usually dominated by the same PC.
But these rare sessions occasionally leaked through.
>>47698355
Yeah. Seems like the GM has good creativity when it comes to world design and a fair amount of preparation, but poor ability to actually improvise or enact a compelling narrative. Sounds like he'd rather be a player.
>>47698405
He was a player for a little bit.
I GM'd a short oneshot so everyone could play low level characters and the GM could enjoy playing.
He made a sexy-snek-lady-mankiller and roleplayed her quite well (for better and usually for worse). He was very handsy with NPCs, and me occasionally.
Group disbanded shortly after for other reasons.
Ok lads, this is storytime.
>be me
>be long term resident of Le Chateau Autiste
>played 2-3 sessions of D&D, not games; sessions
>Go to geeky friends and pitch d&d game
>only 2 were actual friends, the rest sorta just put up with my autistic /pol/ shit behaviour
>make my own setting, deities, settings etc
> this was my first mistake
>make a GMPC that was sort of designed to be creepy and lovecraftian who would give pc's plot hooks and shit
>was a pet devil belonging to a general the pc's worked for
>had plot armour out the fucking ass
>powergaming pc turned evil because player thought it'd be kekworthy and would get neat shit
>turns on the party because he was neutral evil IRL
>yes I am still salty 4 years later
>GMPC stops him, pops his head like a cherry in Rolf Harris' gaff.
>game turns into shenanigans after that
>decide fuck it and burn down the campaign
>give them wishes
>they trash the setting
>wish for millennium falcon as they sail away from the burning wreckage of the setting
>I never gm'd again
>>47698518
You actually posted it, you madman.
Got the Millennium Falcon/10 would play again.
RIP Markas Milner the eldritch nature abomination
RIP Ornlu the awakened Wolf
>>47698259
Reminds me of the time my friends and I did a suicide pact in a One Piece campaign because just no.
>>47698719
Anon, I dare say that warrants a story!
>>47698457
dont you feel uncomfortable roleplaying as a member of the opposite sex
it's pretty clear they're wired to approach problems differently and think about things differently and deal with shit that the other has no idea how to approach or may not even know exists
do you just roleplay it like you would a guy except sexy, because that sounds kind of flat
>>47698746
I was in it too. Played Cyborg Dr Mengele, no joke. Got eaten by a giant scorpion.
>>47698774
I've never played a female character. It would be a challenge since I do actually think like a man, and wouldn't want it to end up getting to magical realmy.
>>47698800
that sounds fucking hilarious.
>>47698834
I played a squid man who rolled a natural 20 on a seduction role on a hot bar maid despite having like, charisma 3. The weeb GM, who was a mate, refused to have me be successful. We were so amused by it we demanded it be so.
The reeeeeee'ing was glorious.
>>47698746
Sure,
>2 campaigns after >>47698518 it was one of our friends turns to DM
>At the time this guy was a huuuuuuuge anime fan
>"I'm gonna run a one piece campaign anons!"
>Be skeptical but eh, it's his turn.
>Starts off alright, he makes custom classes etc
>As we level we notice huge class imbalances
>He starts taking things way too seriously.
>We traveled from one island to another in the mouth of a whale, steering by it's teeth but when another player and I, on a beach, roll search checks for babes he gets all Chateau Autiste.
>This goes on for a while, taking a very lighthearted setting waaaaay too seriously
>Miss one or two sessions because of other commitments
>Talking to the DM a few weeks now about how the campaign is not really fun anymore because he turned a show about a rubber pirate boy into a super cereal adventure
>Doesn't listen, says we should take it more seriously
>Everyone is getting saltier than the waves around us
>All players form a suicide pact for the next time he goes super cereal on trivial shit.
>Literally committed mass seppuku on the ship
>"Hey, at least it was in real Japanese style anon!"
In retrospect maybe we could have handled it better but he just wouldn't listen to reason
>>47698897
>>47698882
That was pretty good, anons. Sometimes you get those guys who don't want to deviate from what they want. I always felt that a good GM should let the players steer a little, to keep them engaged in the game.
>>47699000
In all honesty, these stories are all from when we were dead new to tabletop games, only RP experience I really had outside was too much time on the WoW RP servers.
>>47699075
My previous stories weren't my first campaigns, but they were the first ones where I was expected to play a character and actually RP it.
My old group who I still play with on breaks are just a bunch of friends who like to gather round and smash up some goblins and shit.
