Any chance of you guys sharing some of your stories about 'that guy' in your group?
Our that guy was a that DM.
Nothing too outrageous. He creeped on female players. He would passive-aggressively punish characters whose concept he did not understand or did not like. He would veto logical plans of action for arbitrary reasons. He would change RAW combat rules mid-fight, mid-turn even.
>that guy wants to play a chaotic "neutral" crow-man assassin who sneaks around with a claymore
>after a few months, when we all get sick of his bullshit, we ask him to play a different, non-chaotic character
>comes back next week with the same character, but now he's a lawful good monk because he was saved by a monastery
>before even one session is over, he reveals that his character is only pretending to be good, and he's still a fucking cunt
>>47648562
I've told some stories about this guy before, here goes.
>ForeverGM for a couple friends and That Guy
>That Guy has previously ruined food left right and center cooking at my house, but we're poor and don't want to order out every week.
>That Guy insists it's just mac and cheese guys
>He goes downstairs to make it, we continue to play for a while
>That Guy sure is taking a while
>Do you smell smoke?
>I rush downstairs, fearing for the sanctity of my peaceful home
>There's a pot on the burner, smoke pouring out of the top of it, burner on full Ork
>Macaroni noodles have become a layer of solid carbon on the inside of the pot
>Range hood is on full blast to try and mask the horror unfolding as the last of the water at the bottom is revealed
>Bubbling carbon tar pit with a spoon lost at the bottom
>Turn the oven off, take the pot outside to divorce myself from the latest cooking atrocity until it's cool
>That Guy outside on the phone
>He looks at me
>I look at him
>He looks at the pot
>"Sorry man, I only cook on my microwave at home."
>>47648838
Where did you hide the body?
>>47648838
How is it possible people like this could exist? Like, I want to believe for your sake that you're making this shit up.
>>47648950
Oh he was real, and he was serious. Some other highlights
>"Do you have any snacks?"
>Sure dude check the pantry or freezer.
>That Guy comes back with a raw chicken breast he microwaved for ~3min or so
>Takes a bite
>Expression on his face like he just sat on his balls
>Sees me giving him the DM death stare across the table
>Takes another bite
>Flees the table to spit it all out and have another try
>That Guy is celebrating the end of semester exams
>Makes himself a tray of brownies using one of those prepackaged boxes
>Poured the brownies into a pound cake pan and cremated them for an indeterminate amount of time
>Brought the result over for us to study
>Material was pitch black and solid
>So hard we couldn't chip it without a knife as a chisel
>I offered to take it off his hands as a doorstop
>He had to throw the pan away with the Necron Monolith he'd managed to bake
>>47649134
Do you still have it?
>>47649200
Nah, he couldn't separate it from the pan and I was worried it'd attract bugs.
>>47649134
Never mind the improbability of him existing, why the heck is he still in your group?
>>47649134
>>47648838
Shit, I knew people could be absolute shit at cooking(after sitting through a Worst cooks in America marathon), but seriously, did the guy didn't even bother reading the directions on the box? They put that there so fuckups can't possibly fuck up...
>>47649218
What a shame
>>47649134
Oh man I love stories about manchildren.
>>47649240
He's not, he wasn't invited to the last game I GMed in that town, then I moved.
>>47649134
>>47648838
People can't cook to save their lives? There's actually a surprising number of those. I think I'm surrounded by them.
>Making pasta
>Told him to get the water to boiling before adding noodles in.
>Had to go down to store because someone in the house used the last of the sauce and didn't tell me.
>Get back, dry noodles sitting in a smoking pot
>Somehow all the water evaporated and he still put the fucking pasta in.
I got a potential that guy.
So far he's really pushing me into starting without finding a third for the campaign, he's tried passing stat rolls on a roller app without me watching, and wants to make his character before everyone meets despite me asking to just come up with concepts so we can form a party and not step on each other's toes.
Hopefully it turns out ok.
>>47649353
Something about the rise of convenient alternatives like TV dinners and women working led to mothers who couldn't cook for shit and their children who also can't cook for shit.
>roommate goes to heat up poptarts in dorm microwave
>sets it on fire
>>47649247
My sister had a roommate that grew up rich and fucked up making Mac and cheese by putting the butter, milk and cheese powder in the water before the noodles.
As for that guy's, I had a that DM a while back that had a DMPC that was a neutral evil kender rogue that specialized in stealing shit from us. Plus whenever he dicided to have an NPC mock us we had to sit through it because he straight up disintegrated my character fro attacking the evil shit stain that had us trapped and was forcing us to play this demented little spin-the-wheel game. I wouldn't even be that mad if it had been relevant to the story, but it was him just fucking with us.
>>47649506
Isn't there a toaster on the pop tart box? How can you fuck up poptarts?
>>47649353
I've got a housemate who can't manage to bake a potato without help. The clueless cunt can't even follow basic fucking instructions on a nuke-food packet.
>>47649506
>mother never worked
>still couldn't cook
damn
>>47649506
Was agreeing with you until
> women working led to mothers who couldn't cook for shit
Come the fuck on on, anon. At least put some effort into your bait.
>>47649353
Knowing how to cook is like knowing how to drive. It baffles me when I meet people who don't have any fucking clue how to do it.
>>47648562
Not really 'my' group, but there was a GW store manager a few years back in the city I lived in then whom I wrote a formal complaint to GW about.
He's the store manager. 4th edition 40k had just come out and he was running introductory games. His ideas for running an introductory game included: Swearing at the nippers when they made mistakes.
Acting like a total manchild when he fucked up a saving roll.
On being corrected by one of his staffers he took the guy into the back-room to give him a bollocking, all of which we could plainly hear because he left the door open.
And this cunt was supposed to be GW's ambassador to new players.
>>47649611
>>47649506
I don't think it's women working so much as no one is telling the next generation how to do it.
Alternative is taking a cooking course in high school but few do that. Hell I think I'm one of the few that took the gourmet class seriously.
>>47650230
I proudly hold the title of "That Guy Who Broke the Practical Cookery Exam And Got 104%" in my high school's yearbook
I'm a terrible cook. I acknowledge this and accept it. I can still fry eggs and bacon, boil some pasta and stick enough vaguely healthy stuff in the oven to not kill myself with cholesterol. If I can do it, others can. They just don't want to put the effort into learning.
Hell, it's not even difficult. It's literally following instructions.
somewhere there is a parallel universe where tabletop is a hobby not infested with socially retarded autists
for >>47650529 and >>47650586 and the board in general. some food you can cook by not chopping your fingers off and not leaving the house whole its in the oven.
try chopping up some green peppers (remove the center white bit and seeds) into slices, chop up some mushrooms, an onion, maybe some carrots.
lightly toss in a small amount of vegetable oil.
put into a glass casserole dish. cover in tinfoil. bake in oven at 350 for 30-45 minutes depending on the oven.
you can also bake pork chops, steak, or chicken in the same oven in a different pan.
if you try it an want more flavor, try seasoning the vegetables with some parmesean cheese and/or italian seasoning. ms. dash works too.
Hope this adds some variety/tastiness/starting safe zone for people wanting to cook more than mac&cheese.
My GM is 'that guy'. He keeps hitting on all female players, including a trap, sending nudes of past female players who fell for his tricks (as autismal as they are), stalking the ones that block his creepy ass.
Not to mention he's terrible with his schedule, punishes players when they ask questions he doesn't know the answer to, never admits to his own fuck-ups, shit talks players in the group, constantly threaten to end the group if X or Y happen. The list goes on. It's no wonder he's hated on /tg/, so much he has a player recruit for him.
>>47648609
You sound butthurt as fuck.
>>47648562
my that guy was a friend who we still keep in contact with, but while he was at the game table... jfc.
although it was a comedy superheroes game, dude literally showd up with a character who's every line he would run through the ebonics translator.
then again, his previous character was an asian stereotype(circa 1942) who's lines he ran through google into mandarin.
>>47650884
why do you keep playing with him?
We talking about food?
>make pho for my players
>that guy who lives on hot pockets won't eat it
I stopped inviting him.
>make somen and homemade mentsuyu for my players
>after the session's up, after drinking and playing until 1am, everyone but one newer player goes home
>that guys asks if he can stay at my house and have some more "ramen"
He left the fucking TV on all god damn night, too.
>make some kind of Thai soup, I forget what it's called
>that guy tells me I should make him some shepard's pie
Fucking animal.
>>47650995
jesus christ. why is this so hard for people?
when a friend or host makes food for you, unless you are allergic, or have religious/ideological objections to the food, you clear that fucking plate.
>>47650995
>Host makes food
>Don't like it
>Have the option to politely not eat it
>He fucking asks you to make something else
How would anyone think that's okay? What are people teaching their kids?
>>47650926
To piss him off, he's threatened to kick me a thousand times. Kicked over ten players from this group over the past 6 months, another five or so actually left. Autistic neckbeard likes having his way or he waves the kick stick.
>>47651115
By the nine, do you have any good stories?
>>47649353
How? How do people do shit like this? I basically taught myself how to cook by reading and following instructions, and the worst I've ever fucked up was thinking clove meant bulb.
>>47651200
at least that means you're vampire proof.
>>47651172
A bunch but that fatass browses and I've said enough for him to come after me.
Regarding the cooking theme, I've made coffee for myself in a large soup cooker recently at a friend's while we were playing D&D. He didn't have jezve so why not. Justrpthings.
>>47651318
coffee is essentially ultra bitter broth, so why not indeed.
>>47648562
The That Guy in our group is 18 and never played DnD before, so his moments don't bug me too much
>>47651318
How many fucking people make Turkish coffee at home besides me and you? It's too much work, man. What you oughtta do is get an aeropress and bring that shit around if you think you're gonna need a coffee. Easy peasy. It's disgusting that there are people besides Mormons who don't have some kind of coffee maker in their home, but there you go.
>>47650230
This guy has it right.
Even just watching other people cook can help as long as you use common sense.
>ITT
/tg/ - Cooking
>>47650995
Maybe ask people if they want your crazy asian shit before you make it?
>Hey bro, I made some mushroom gelatto
>What the fuck do you mean you don't want it?
>>47649474
It won't.
No group > shitty group.
>>47651577
see
>>47651033
hospitality goes two ways. at the very least you have a few polite mouthfuls.
>>47650995
>pho
>semen
>menstrualyu
>Thai soup
Why don't you just cook some normal food?
>>47651577
This is a fair request. A lot of people feel really uncomfortable when they're offered a bunch of unfamiliar food. If I wanted to try serving something out there I'd probably ask my players what they thought of it first.
That said, I never quite got why people like Pho. I'll eat it if it's put in front of me, but every time I've had it the broth is so damn salty I can't really taste anything else.
>>47651570
Cooking threads show up every now and then. Quite a few fa/tg/uys like cooking.
>>47650923
you must have been the dm
>>47648562
I guess myself. I was impatient and upset that the GMs game was getting on slowly, and consisted largely of a few quick'n'dirty fights followed by vague descriptions of that back ground which for all intents and purposes may have just been the verbal equivalent of the Flintstones background gag for how much impact it had. All of this punctuated by a gotcha trap that nobody actually slice in this universe would or should have fallen for our atleast reacted to far sooner but because everyone ( atleast presumed in the case of the other three players who said and did nothing) were so disinvested like I that did not think of the implication of the first stages of said trap as it was occurring. Then with the gall of not willing to handwave away a pursuing force whom never rolled to track us nor did we roll to try to escape from but managed to do so anyway thereby stealing any tension our four hour not so descriptive chase scene could have had, catches us with the consequences of a bad decision made several sessions ago. Because when you detect a signal asking for pick up you cannot tell where the signal is actually coming from, apparently.
Maybe we're sorry players and that is possibly correct and maybe I should have asked more politely to just hurry along with things so we could start planning our counter move against those that had been chasing us. But that particular idea came three hours into a session where nothing of any actual meat had happened. Of course I was far more frustrated with how things had gone this far and the increasing likelihood that we would wait another week to discuss with an NPC the implications of all this plot we discovered but were never in an appropriate place to discuss it.
Well hell by the end of that session, the idea to say something to wrap things up faster so we could do something that same session had evolved into me losing my shit at the GM. I yelled at the man and enjoyed the catharsis it gave.
>>47650414
How'd you manage that? Did a guy from the Michelin Guidebook scout you as you were doing your exam? Because uh, that should warrant much higher than a 104%.
>>47651939
So now it's a day later and I've probably thoroughly alienated myself if not from the group as a whole then atleast one or two of the players and GM. I would like to discuss how I found that session so thoroughly dissatisfying but that opportunity has come and gone when I decided to start throwing curse laden insults at the man responsible for running our games and all of them to boot.
So to sum everything up it's probably me, Barry, I did it all. And my group is probably thankful I left.
>>47651858
suck my cock til the veins turn purple
I think I encountered a "that DM" a while ago
>on rpol looking for games
>oh look someone is running dnd
>send in a request matching his requirements, short backstory etc.
>he just replies "No."
>guy seems like a dick, so I stop responding
>2 years later, see a dnd game being advertised, didn't notice it was the same guy.
>Some steampunk version of DC suicide squad
>whatever, I'm desperate for a game anyway
>accepted
>GM says that all characters have to be evil in alignment
>seems like a bad idea, but I'm sure the DM knows what he's doing
>game starts in a series of prison cells, the party awaiting death penalty
>introduced to the party - alcoholic orc brawler, evil indiana jones, mafia warforged, and some tiefling warrior
>there's a DMPC, some bard based on harley quinn
>i'm really concerned at this point, but perhaps the GM has some clever plan, I mean, surely there's a good way of pulling of DMPC, right?
>...right?
>adventure turns into a railroad, the lights go out, we're released from the cells, and we go off down the only hallway
>one direction is blocked by a door
>someone tries to open door? Nope, it's locked and you get electrocuted for touching it
>the alcoholic orc, keeping in character, says something vaguely nasty to the DMPC
>kicked from the game
>player apologises, he wasn't trying to be incohesive
>DM:"nope I'm kicking him"
>that seems a bit harsh
>DM:"nah my character wouldn't want to help him"
>continue down linear hallway
>stumble upon semiconscious guards
>DMPC slits their throats halfway through the party's interrogation because they were being rude or some shit
>punch a couple of random rust monsters, stumble along the linear corridor some more, everyone loses interest in the game
>realise that I had encountered this guy before
>look through his profile
>realise he's the guy that turned me down the first time
>he has like 10 ongoing dnd games with barely any participants
>>47651819
Cooking is pretty much modern day alchemy if you're the only one who can cook in your group of friends. It even mimics alchemy in that certain steps seem ridiculously complicated or unnecessary but do make a significant different in the output, examples: Hollandaise Sauce, basted eggs, roasting a turkey properly.
>>47651819
Sounds like a lot of people need to take a teaspoon of cement and harden the fuck up.
It's not like he was serving frog legs or shark fin. It's just a soup with noodles in it.
I'm lactose intolerant, if I go to a friend's house and they're making dinner I let them know and/or I bring something for myself. If I cock up and forget to then I suck it up and politely decline the food.
If people can do that over things that make them shit like a firehose or have an allergic reaction then people should be able to handle it for "anything but meat and three vege is scary".
>>47650230
>gourmet class
That takes me back
>Preparing cake, assigned in groups to each bake a layer and get it done faster
>The layers are added, I'm off making the fondant.
>That Guy cuts it into the shape of a cock
>Says it's a rocket
>Not sure if the teacher was humoring him or if he was that dull to think it was a cake
>>47649543
"neutral evil kender rogue "
So basically every kender ever?
Why didn't you mallet his head in?
>>47652075
Hey man I'm not saying I'd ask every friend to let me know if they're cooking something weird. That's just being shitty. I'll eat what you make.
Just that it's what I would do.
>>47651819
If it's something he grew up with, he might think it's normal. Everyone keeps looking at me weird when I bring potstickers and spätzle. It may seem strange to others, but being raised by a Chinese grandmother and German grandfather, I grew up with that stuff and think it's quite normal.
>>47652226
That looks delicious.
>>47652226
Potstickers *and* Spatzle? That sounds GOOD, Anon.
>>47652226
I shouldn't be looking at this so close to dinner time.
>>47652226
Nigga stop making me hungry
>>47651819
>A lot of americans feel really uncomfortable when they're offered a bunch of unfamiliar concepts
ftfy
But seriously, good job. Was that a tomyam soup? My wife is a pro at making it, shit's rad.
>>47651697
>normal food
like mac&cheese right? or some hot pockets? dunno, what else qualifies as "normal food" in your dumpster of a household?
>>47651212
Do it faggot
I am confident my group considers me "that guy"
>Play Curse of Strahd
>Some coffin maker stole the holy bones by coercing a poor, stupid choir boy who "din see any money ever, sir"
>The party's cleric goes ballistic on his ass, promising him hell and punishment
>O-okay, my character's not there, I stay silent.
>We search for the coffin-maker
>Everyone tries to "stealthily" break into his house and steal the mcguffin back
>A group with a lawful good paladin and cleric, that is. I guess burglary is fine as long as it's for the church
>Try to suggest diplomatic approach
>Read thoughts inside the house, find the culprit
>GM tells me he is vulnerable, terrified and actually very pious, so obviously he is being forced into this
>The cleric goes "lol no, he betrayed the church, now I hate him even more"
>GM rules that the guy hears us arguing outside and asks who goes there
>I deflect attention from others and try to talk/intimidate him into resolving the issue without violence or damage to property
>Get laughed at and my character called "a weirdo" by the rest of the group
Yeah, no, I think I will be ditching these faggots. The game wasn't much fun even before this.
>>47649134
>microwaved for ~3min or so
I've never been so unnerved by anything i've read on tg before reading this post.
Has he heard of salmonella?
>>47652608
>not eating your chicken medium rare
Fag.
>The group needs to talk with an ancient elven druid that lives in a distant and secluded forest.
>I had that when they finally arrived they would wander aimlessly for some minutes before being surrounded by elven rangers.
>They would have to prove their good will somehow, to have the rangers lead them to the druid.
>Planned the many ways that the players could prove their good will and the encounter in general for a week.
>That guy playing a wizard, in his infinite wisdom, decided that the fastest way to get the druid's attention was to set the forest on fire.
>>47651939
>>47651999
This is a joke right? No one is this fucking pretentious.
>>47652670
> the fastest way to get the druid's attention was to set the forest on fire
But he's right
>>47652670
>We buhrnn'd da fohhist down
>>47652030
>DM:"nah my character wouldn't want to help him"
Come on m8, be subtle
>>47652650
>eating microwaved chicken
>unseasoned
Uncultured savage
>>47652670
Wizards, not even once.
>>47652608
You know, if you buy meat from a reputable source, you won't be a pussy faggot all the time.
>>47652738
its theirfirst solution to problems they don't want to think too hard about.
>>47652773
>Whenever I play a wizard I often suggest setting things on fire as a tactical option
>Always get shit from my "reasonable" and "lawful" compatriots
>By the end of the session they usually begrudgingly agree, after almost losing a character and getting a few infested wounds, that perhaps that wasn't such a bad option
Eventually they will learn
>>47652691
>>47652692
They went there to get the druid's help . . . and, they ended up killing him instead.
>>47652738
Not only him, but most of my group simply refuse to roleplay or to be anything else than a murderhobos.
>>47652738
Well, there no problem you can't resolve with an fireball desu senpai.
>>47652773
>>47652814
the real trivck is to remember to have the alchemy skill and divide the alchemist fires and generic opil flasks among the various inventories. no need to spend spells on what you can do without them.
just remember, someone will roll a 1 with that fire. don't be near the other flasks when it happens. unless thats what you're going for in which case best ambush = 5 people surprise lobbing alchemist fire into a 10 foot kill box from concealment.
>>47650884
>including a trap
What kind of magical game do you go to where one of the players is a trap? and how do you even know he's a trap? and where do i go to find traps that play RPGs?
>be former That Guy (according to my group I'm not That Guy at least)
>system recommends making weapons with extra effects
>come up with something with a benefit and a drawback
>suggest it to the DM
>DM gets uncomfortable at the idea
>gives the weapon the benefit without the drawback
Sometimes I feel I'm not actually rehabilitated as a That Guy.
>That Guy thread becomes cooking thread
I love you /tg
>Joining a high-poweredpathfindergameI swear to god it's only because some of my friends are doing it and my other game sucks plus I don't have RL time to GM fuck my life
>Decide to try rolling stats
>Gets the kind of stats you get from a 6 point buy - 9, 9, 10, 10, 13, 14
>Roll 1, 1, 3 on health
>Stubbornly decline the GM's offer and stick with it
>Now I am building a fugitive not!nazi war criminal/poisoner with 16 HP at level 4.
Am I that guy?
>>47652881
in 5e, you can find them by looking for their elves.
>>47652956
>>47650995
Maybe you should stop making gook food when people would much rather have a pizza. Are you autistic?
>>47649552
I would assume they didn't remove it from the foil before microwaving.
>>47653004
never forget the edition where a notable percentage of elves are futas. hate the reasons that it got put in, but now that it is, its top kek magical realm in the RAW.
>>47653035
I am not that poster who cooked that stuff but I hate people like you and I you in particular I want to hurt the most. Go choke on that greasy piece of shit you fats call pizza
>>47652956
>>47653061
Futas in RAW? I thought there was only same sex couples in Pathfinder.
>>47653061
the hell are you talking about and how did i not hear about this?
>>47653040
How the fuck is that an excuse?
>>47653115
in the phb for 5e, iirc, they mention that the god that created the elves basically decides which gender its mortal form is one day to the next, and that like 10% of the elves have both sets of genitals.
>>47653035
I like to cook.
>>47653035
but pho is good as fuck
also it's literally just soup so i don't even understand how you can be afraid of it even if you're a manchild who refuses to touch vegetables
everyone eats soup
soup is like the most basic fucking food in the world
>>47653245
Maybe it's the onions. I often make Vietnamese and sometimes they put too much onion into stuff even for me.
Or you know, people like him can just be ignorant little shits who have no concept of food beyond barbecue and some overpopularised Italian stuff and start to piss themselves the second they hear a foreign word?
I recently invited some of my normie friends to go have some Chinese in London and they literally thought I was gonna offer them roasted moths and roaches when we got there. And these are educated professionals in fucking London, not some ass-backwards manchildren from Bumfucknowhere, Tennessee.
>>47648838
>>47649134
>>47649353
>>47649506
I'm in tears right now Thank you kind Anons for sharing your adventures with us.
>>47653245
What gets me with Pho is the sodium. If I could actually taste anything other than the broth I'd probably like it more
>>47650882
Cooking basic stuff is super simple , literally all you need to do is
1. Make a thing hot
2. Put food in/on the hot thing.
3. Sit/stand close to the hot thing
4. Wait, maybe move the food sometimes.
5. When the food is cooked take it off the hot thing.
6. Turn off the hot thing so it is no longer hot.
>>47653370
I've never had salty pho. I'm a guy who hates salty shit. I don't even use salt in cooking most shit. I've never had pho, at home or any restaurant, that was too salty.
>>47653357
Some people, even nice people, are just so inept when it comes to basic food-house-survival stuff.
>Live with a roommate, my old college friend
>Great guy, we're into the same shit, both browse etc
>I have a habit of brewing proper tea, blending it from several types of leaves
>About to make a new batch, ask him to throw the old leaves into the drain
>He comes back, the job done
>An hour later have to go to bathroom
>The guy drained all the fucking tea leaves inside the sink
>>47652743
I don't think you understand how this works.
The place where its from doesn't matter, uncooked shit is still uncooked.
>>47650995
Oh fuck, one of our players hosted the group one time, and he was perhaps the whitest person we knew, and he made some really fine hotpot for us. Shit was so cash. Another time, our DM made Saag Paneer from scratch.
>>47653117
>>47653530
Hasn't that fluff been in D&D for decades?
Also, if a bearded female dwarf hates being mistaken for a male, why doesn't she just shave her face?
>>47653495
So you're saying that you're an ignoramous who thinks salmonella is some inherent property of chicken. Yeah, right on, man.
>>47653530
>a beared female dwarf
the one true dwarf race is Terry Pratchet dwarves, where EVERYONE has a giant beard, male or female
>>47652679
What do you mean?
>>47653554
No, but there's always a tiny chance, no matter the source, that it's there. But people like you will never learn until you properly get it yourself - you just don't have the brainpower.
>>47652941
That sounds like the opposite of being That Guy
>>47653547
> Implying that a dwarf would ever shave
Disgusting.
>>47653641
Well if she don't wanna shave, she has no right to complain.
>>47653547
not really. im sure if player in the past wanted to mess around with gender and it didn't fuck up the campaign by focusing on it, they did so. but no the game has never been so blatant in going "TRUST US GUYS WE'RE NOT "TRANSPHOBIC", REALLY!
remember the baldurs gate expansion shit, btw? things like that, gender and sucyh, shouldn't be an issue in a world where polymorph, reincarnate etc exist. theres a cursed item thats been a gag for decades that flips your sex.
ps: i mean yeah trap elves have been a thing since forever. but that's more the /tg/ hobby community than anything in the books.
>>47653638
Because I will probably/definitely be a liability in combat (which is 99% of fucking pathfinder) and will have to improvise perversely to even keep myself alive, let alone deal meaningful damage/battlefield control. Like those guys who make a Cha-based wizard because it's cool and then suck for 5 sessions until they decide they've had enough.
>>47653687
>remember the baldurs gate expansion shit, btw?
I remember it cost them a lot of money and earned them a lot of vitriol.
>>47653619
Not being afraid of your food makes you dumb, huh?
>>47653461
I haven't had to deal with my friends cooking much, but I can imagine they're pretty inept based on things they've said and their other habits.
>mfw roommate doesn't sort his laundry by even the most basic level of colors and whites
>he shoves as much into the washing machine as fits at once
>sounds like he didn't learn to do his own laundry until college
>>47653461
I know I know. Once I burned rice (was heating it and forgot to move the lower portion).
My mother, who really knows how to cook, burned a boiling egg somehow. The house started smelling awful, like really bad. Thankfully the stench didn't stayed for too long after opening the windows.
Also when I was a child tried to make popcorn to eat it while watching a movie with my sister. I prepared all the stuff and left it to cook. When I went again to see if it was finished, white hot stuff was all over the ground and flying everywhere, so I grabbed a towel, a dish, quickly went to cover the cooking pot and heroically blamed her, because "she didn't make me remember to use the cooking pot cover". Funny thing is my grandmother believed my story somehow, and my little sister had to clean the kitchen instead of me.
>>47653721
No, but not taking basic precautions does. If you ever had to cook for people - not just for your lonely basement self - you'd understand. At least I hope so - cause otherwise I am worried for your friends and relatives.
>>47653706
yeah releasing an expansion to a classic game that makes the game technically broken in many key aspects will do that.
>>47653688
I think its a cool concept and as long as you arent actively trying to ruin the game I dont see why its That Guy
Dont confuse playing a shit system being the same thing as That Guy.
>>47653688
charisma illusionist man. combine the brokenness of intimidate, bluff, and mysterio.
>>47653745
>some 10-12 years old, I am not even yet in high school
>my mother is driving my brother to a math class
>She's braising a rabbit for dinner
>Ask me to turn off the hob in about an hour or so
>Play fucking videogames like a little shit I was
>Two hours later I realise everything smells like aromatised charcoal
>Only then see the smoke creeping inside my room - which is the most distant and isolated in the flat
>Run in the kitchen
>Right when the door buzzes and mother comes back
>The flat smelled like Auschwitz for at least a week
>>47653813
I could. But I don't want to because that would betoo ez ;^).
>>47653796
That is not my intention. He is a man genuinely afraid for his life - because if he's ever found out by anyone who is related to the people on whom his government experimented, he'd be lucky to be dead. So he will be very nice and civil and endearing, a true doctor and a gentleman. Maybe when vengeance finds him his new "friends" will believe his words more. At least that's the plan.
>>47652670
You playing with guy?
>>47653726
I always do all my clothes in the same washer besides jeans, but that's because I have to pay for the machines at my university and all of that stuff fits into one washer just fine. Am I that guy?
>>47653966
Eh. Not really. As long as you don't put your shirts/whites with the rest of the stuff.You do own and wear shirts, right, anon?
>>47653950
Shit, wrong image.
Are you playing with this guy?
>>47654002
thought it wasn't too crazy right up until the styrofoam. so he basically made napalm rounds. moron. though he should pitch it to the military.
I have a That GM for you. It's not super bad but... it's pretty bad.
This was supposed to be a serious game. That's what I was sold on. Just establishing that now.
Right out the gate, DMPC. whatever, I don't care. I'm a barbarian, 20 strength because it was a new system I was trying out and barbarian is hard to fuck up(though since it was 5e, I probably couldn't have fucked it up if I tried). Walking to a village, it gets attacked by a dragon, me and the one other sane player start to approach the town, others follow regretfully.
We encounter some goblins, and I- I shit you not- kill one of the goblins with a suplex because I threw my axe at a goblin that was attacking the warlock(he was a dipshit that didn't know to stay in the back). I had hoped I might knock it unconcious or do some damage but apparently I can just kill goblins with one grapple check. Sounds balanced.
Seek out an NPC one player knows, it's his "uncle", he and the other sub-par player start joking about uncle being a diddler. Whatever, fine. Then the DM makes him an actual diddler, complete with basement dungeon full of kids. After throwing him to the child slaves, people search the house. One player finds dildos, I veto anyone trying to bring them because I KNOW they'll be used in combat if I don't, The warlock looks through the books and manages to find a cursed one that I think hit him with some kind of fascinate. Someone starts burning the building down(I have no idea who, this was a while ago) and I use the opportunity to throw the book into the fire. Warlock tries to fight me, I draw my sword, then suddenly dragon because the GM doesn't want us to fight(we were explicitely told this was why). We manage to escape somehow, follow stream of refugees to large fortified building with a "circle of men" around it. I assume they're defending it from outside the walls to let the refugees in(we've only seen goblins so far fighting, and I got no more description than that). 1/?
>>47654164
>The GM tries to entertain his players
>Ok, the child-molester part and dildoes are quite shit, I'll give you that
>GM tries to stop a new guy sperging out and starting pvp in response to a relatively reasonable reaction to his own being a self-righteous cunt
>GM tries to salvage it
>GM gets shit for it
Don't bother with the rest; no matter how much of an incompetent sicko your gm is, you deserve playing in his group
>>47654002
I thought that it would be that one where the guy shoves a bullet down his dick.
>>47648838
>>47649134
His problem wasn't cooking, it was that he was an asshole.
>>47654164
So, I arrive in the circle, and am immediately informed that the people in the circle are facing in and look like members of a cult. Welp, too late to turn back, I think, and I lop one of their heads off, figuring between AoO(I told everyone else to stand behind me, because I was the only melee fighter, meaning they had to go through me), the rangers doing their damage, and me finishing off anything that stops to fight me, we should be able to take them out as they arrive. Then they're all(about 20~) there at once. Like, every single person from around the entire castle that they were explicitly encircling arrived in the same turn. Must be one small fucking castle, because most of them even got to attack. I see where this is going and call a retreat while we still can, manage to get out without taking an AoO hit(I never go low AC if I can help it), and set up a kill box with caltrops and boxes in an alley in the minute we have before they find where we hid. Things go alright for a bit, but they just seem to keep coming, and eventually there's guys on the roofs where I positioned the archers/warlock(pretty sure by the end we killed like 15 and there were still a ton around us) and I have to surrender, because I don't want to be the guy who got the party killed, everyone follows my lead.
>>47654261
the other guy attacked me after I threw a cursed book the fire dipshit, actually read the fucking post. It was explicitly demon speak and evil. Saving an ally from a cursed item is not being self-righteous.
>>47654337
what
>>47653842
See I had the problem of following instructions too closely
>Get told to put the kettle on the stove
>Put our plastic electric kettle on the stove and turn it on.
>>47654348
Can even a section of you puny brain consider, even for a second, that a fucking WARLOCK player would LOVE to get his hands on some demonic shit? In fact, it was probably the reason he grabbed in in a first place. And he started fighting you precisely because you were a new guy - a fucking nobody - who came into his game and started to dictate how exactly is everyone supposed to behave?
You are a definition of a self-righteous cunt, mate, and an ignorant one at that.
>>47651458
French Press my man. Simple and clean.
>>47654480
I actually love the vietnamese filtered coffee - you should try it if you haven't before.And it's easy to make as long as you have a filter.
>>47654348
Wake up in a tent, naked, no weapon. Easily break ropes holding me, untie everyone, spot sleeping guard, strangle him, he isn't wearing armour, even light armour like I'd had, but he does have a club. I take it. Go outside, see someone walking past, try to take him out before he interupts the carousing going on outside. He instantly catches my blow(despite being flatfooted and my 20 strength + being barbarian) and instantly knocks me unconscious. Like, instantly, no check, no save, nothing. Just bullshit.
Other things that happened:
After rolling a nat 20 to get information about landmarks and things that will help us survive in a swamp, upon arriving in the swamp, am informed by the DMPC that he learned about a hut in the swamp that contains a shaman/druid/something that knows a lot about the area. From the same NPC I looked for information from. Fun.
Also arrived in an "abandoned" village, did a perception check to see what's going on, because obviously no village is ever abandoned, see activity on an upper level. Say I climb up to check it out, suddenly goblins in every door, and noone else had time to say what they did(I'm guessing the book he was running from specified that goblins popped out after someone went far enough in, and he didn't think to see what everyone else was doing once that condition was met), so everyone else is still right by the door and I'm two levels up seperated from the party with goblins around. Got knocked unconcious and the DMPC legitimately suggests just leaving my unconcious body behind. I should note that to this point in the adventure I had saved the rogue from being lost in the fens, seen through an illusion, and been a powerhouse in every fight. Apparently, not useful.
>>47654457
>new group
>first session
dipshit don't just put your own ideas of what's going on into it when you weren't there. And it was CURSED dipshit. When he read it he had to make a will save, which he failed.
>>47653654
cultural differences, she's got every right to complain
>>47654550
Is dipshit the only word you know, dipshit?
If you expect people to make something out of your convoluted mess of a "story", especially after you included the "right out the gate" part, you should include this information.
>internet "celebrities" reaction images
Oh wait, you're just retarded. Nevermind, I will just stop wasting my time.
>>47654621
I mean hell, just to be completely clear- I knew the guy who was fighting me, and I know for a fact he was causing problems intentionally. Three people, including the DM, asked him not to play a drow, He insisted he wanted to play a drow, so we all gave up and let him. He also explicitely played a warlock because I had mentioned they were fairly overpowered in 5e, and a bunch of other shit I don't want to get into.
>you've responded to my complaints, and I don't have anything to fall back on! time to claim this would be a waste of my time!
>>47654621
But Anon, we're all retarded.
>>47654660
Ignore them. They've clearly got their dick in a twist and are here looking for an argument.
>>47654697
I think my favourite part was him insulting my variety of insults. Like, do you think I give enough of a shit to spend half a second making sure I don't repeat myself?
>>47649611
Kill yourself, feminist. Working women have destroyed the happiness of females and ruined their utility.
>>47654748
Irrational hardline feminists have, sure. But most working women aren't that kind of feminist, and a lot of the most rabid feminists don't work at all.
>That socially awkward guy that is obsessed with Nazi Germany
>That guy that makes his 40k army Nazi inspired and has swaztika's, eagles, and iron crosses on everything
>That guy that gives his IG SS ranks that he all pronounces incorrectly despite his attempts to sound authentically german
>That guy that sits there over his nazi army, shaking one leg up in down, waiting for ANYBODY to call him out on it so he can chimp out and whine about free speech
They eventually had to call an ambulance on him when he had a panic attack over being yelled at by the owner for throwing things and he never came back.
>>47654480
That's the same as an aeropress but not as good.
>>47654893
Sounds like an above average /pol/fag
>>47654893
Requesting that "Thanks, it's Hitler" screencap.
>>47654826
They can't work because they all have PTSD from twitter.
>>47648562
part 1
>Join Mutants and Masterminds game
>GM asks for a one on one interview before game 0
>interview is cool, me and him talk about GURPS for bit
>cut to game 0 to build characters and what not
>i accidentally show up 30 minutes late because i misunderstood when it began
>i apologize and GM says its cool, just try and be on time next time
>say "okay"
>one guy in the group is tapping on a practice drum pad
>i've done some drumming, so i know they're mostly done to practice drum speed and timing and arent actually instruments
>Guy stops tapping and asks everyone "so what did you think?" as though he played a song
>this strkes me as odd, but i forget about it
>everyone says "oh it was good to be polite"
>we start discussing out characters
>its a fairly serious campaign, not grim dark or anything but not goofy
>All characters are as based in reality, and their powers are pretty straight forward
>turning into bugs, creating matter, mech suit, etc.
>Then drummer boy tells us of his character
>all he says, and all i am ever told of this character is "He can turn into a plane"
>im reminded of the one maid RPG green text and the moped guy, so i think its alright
>he then explains that, for 'balancing reasons' it doesnt look looks 100% like a plane
>when questioned on what it does look like, he says "Like pixar's Planes"
>one person in group says he shouldnt, since its much too cartoony and silly for this campaign
>everyone agrees
>he says "Well, not EXACTLY like pixar"
>posts pic related saying "looks more like that!"
>everyone is still against it
>we throw ideas on how it could fit better
>he refuses
>this continues for, i shit you not, 40 minutes
>he starts getting really defensive
>says this character is really special from him
>says its special because he's been planning the character for months, just needed the group
>and he cant tell us the second reason because of "Legal reasons"
>>47655518
part 2
>at this time i am about 70% sure he snuck onto a military based and started fucking a jet
>we drop the whole thing and decide to move on and cover his character later since it was getting nowhere
>he's acting defensive and passivle agressive the whole time
>stopping the conversation to mention how a car almost hit him that day for no reason
>he also keeps slipping mexian words into his speech, weeaboo style
>he doesnt sound very mexican by his voice though
I'll it was possible he was mexican, just didnt sound it.
>we all have teh basics of what our characters are, and leave still not having resolved the plane man's character
>session 1 hits, and plane man is not there
>Gm tells me that he had to drop him, as he was kinds weird and wasnt cooperating.
>also find out, that originally his character wasnt a person who turned into a plane, but an anthro plane that came from an anthro plane universe howard the duck style until the GM talked him out of it
>later i decide to do some snooping based on the plane picture he sent
>find out the artist and website it came from
>holyshitno.png
>Its all miltary vehicle porn
>pages and pages of it
>men and women being fucked and fucking vehicles that arent even really anthro.
>now 100% sure that he snuck onto a military base and fucked a jet
>they're called Dire Machines for anyone interested
>i look at every image, not for any sexual pleasure, but out of morbid curosity
>flash forward awhile
>im browsing roll20 open games
>decide to look for pathfinder, i dont like the system but always wanted to play an alchemist so fuck it
>see an open game
>the GM was plane man
i ultimately decided not to join the game, although i was very tempted
>>47655532
you should have joined the game man
for science
>>47655596
Its one of my few regrets i have in my life
>>47655596
Then made an alchemist with a violent fear/hatred of anything that flies.
>>47654826
>>47655474
You guys are responding to a troll. Just ignore him, he'll peter himself out or his mommy will bring him his tendies and we can continue the thread.
>>47655695
Are you implying my post saying feminists have PTSD from twitter was serious?
>>47655532
Wow. That whole situation was handled in a mature manner, with no passive aggressive murder or anything. Good for you and your group.
>>47655695
Funny, they haven't responded yet to cash in on their "genius troll".
>>47655596
>>47655625
Okay, I PMed him on roll20 asking if he had any games that needed players
God help me
>>47655822
you better post the resulting storytime on fucking TG
>>47652579
Anon, you have That Group. Ditch those fuckers. They, or the game, are not worth it. Especially if you're getting mocked for doing nothing wrong.
>>47655832
why else would i be doing this?
im dealing with this autistic plane fucker for your enjoyment.
>>47648787
To be honest, dynamic change sounds like the best solution. He doesn't have to throw his character away, his character is now dynamic and has a more interesting story, and no plot fudging to get a replacement to make sense.
It's a shame he couldn't not be a cunt, but that's the only crime he's committed in my eyes
>>47648562
the only that guy I can recall is a skinny disgusting guy smoking a cigarette in front of my LGS.
he had long black greasy hair but was balding so imagine a friars tonsure but down to the shoulders but just fucking disgusting looking. I gathered he was a big black metal fan judging by his all black ensemble of clothing but he just fucking reeked, I could smell him over the cigarette. There was another guy inside dressed similarly so I guess they were together but he didn't have the stink grease combo that his friend had mastered.
That LGS shutdown because it was a neckbeard clubhouse, I'd go in to buy stuff every 2 weeks and it was always the exact same 3 dudes who I never knew if they were employees or just friends who were allowed to work the til, they were nice but it always smelled god fucking awful.
>>47650995
>Forcing gook food on people
>In going to superimpose"cuz Yer a weeb cunt" onto that because I want to
If they do t like the leet gook food several days in a row, try cooking Italian(homemade Fettuccini), German (currywurst is a good try if you can get them to eat gook stuff) some plain murkan burgers and fries,
>>47652020
So that's a yes then
>Always wants to play a character based on the last shota anime character he watched
>His only actions are to do something disturbingly sexual, edgy, or both
>Have to remind him every time that he's playing a small child
>"oh yeah"
>Stares at his phone half the game and then asks us what's happening in game
>Sulks every time vampires are mentioned in game and then the GM won't let him become a vampire
>playing curse of strahd
>entire campaign is kill the bad vampire man
>that guy's character dies and is raised as a vampire
>he gets mad when we tell him we wouldn't accept him back into the party
>when two of our backstories are literally "vampire hunter"
>hour long ooc argument about how we're bigoted(?) for not playing with a vampire in the group
>>47651603
Late response, but I want to believe he's just excited like I am to be doing any thing table-top. I'm passing judgment after session 0 and first session.
>>47656547
Why havent you kicked this guys ass yet?
>>47656547
I want this to not be real. Please, god. How old is this person?
>>47653591
Not that anon, but in the hopes of educating you, here’s your answer:
>>47651939
First there’s this gem, clearly designed to delight us all with your clever wit:
>vague descriptions of that back ground which for all intents and purposes may have just been the verbal equivalent of the Flintstones background gag for how much impact it had.
Then there’s this convoluted mess:
>All of this punctuated by a gotcha trap that nobody actually slice in this universe would or should have fallen for our at least reacted to far sooner but because everyone ( atleast presumed in the case of the other three players who said and did nothing) were so disinvested like I that did not think of the implication of the first stages of said trap as it was occurring.
All that, excusing typos and autocorrect, could have been said plainly, if you were interested in actually communicating an idea rather your own wordcraft.
Then there’s referring to the GM making a decision as having “the gall of not willing to handwave away”, more cramming piles of criticism into one sentence at the expense of clarity, and sarcastic condescension that’s not quite pretension.
But then, the post is ended with this:
>I yelled at the man and enjoyed the catharsis it gave.
This is not how people talk so it smacks of pretension when it is read.
>>47651999
This whole post is pretentious as it’s just you adding a denouement to your tale.
Denouement.
Even the concept of this post is pretentious.
>I would like to discuss how I found that session so thoroughly dissatisfying but that opportunity has come and gone when I decided to start throwing curse laden insults at the man responsible for running our games and all of them to boot.
Here’s a hint, if a post triggers the voice of David Hyde Pierce as Niles Crane in your head, it might be pretentious.
So to sum everything up, you’re pretentious, Barry Who’s Name Nobody Asked. And your group *is* probably thankful you left.
>>47648562
Our "That Guy" wasn't so bad, just did incredibly stupid stuff. Like jumping off a cliff headfirst.
>>47657978
>"Aim for the bushes"
>>47657951
Sorry, my English is not great. I tried my best.
>>47652075
>If people can do that over things that make them shit like a firehose or have an allergic reaction then people should be able to handle it for "anything but meat and three vege is scary".
Your reasonable post reminded me of my favorite poop joke, so thanks for that.
>>47652465
Nice bait retard.
>>47655532
I cannot properly articulate how fucked up this is.
>>47658172
No, a lot of people really don't like the reputations that Americans have for that kind of thing. I mean, you can believe it's bait if you want, but it's a pretty reasonable response to have.
>>47658013
>English not first language
Ah.
It's not wrong.
Just too complex and overly formal in places to be considered on the normal side of pretentious.
Like referring to the GM you were upset with as "the man".
Litterally nothing wrong with it, but I've only ever heard that from individuals very proud of their education and how they are seen.
The problem with those that seem pretentious, is conflating them with those that simply only know how to speak in the most proper way.
Simon Tam would be another character that comes off as pretentious when he doesn't intend to be.
>I tried my best
That might be part of the issue.
People don't speak their language best.
They don't say "What is ocurring, my good fellow?", they say, "Wuz hap-en-neen?"
Anyway, your GM was a dick for wasting your group's time, but, like you said, you lost the moral high ground when you yelled at the guy.
Party on, Barry.
>>47648609
Did his name start with a K?
>>47658233
I'm totally shitting you, I'm not that guy and he was pretentious as fuck. To be fair though, they sounded like they could have English as a second language and either way I don't know if your post would have given them the tools they needed to sound more normal.
>>47650995
fuck these troll posters.
Putting in the effort for good quality, perfect-for-table-top food makes you a god among men.
No grease. Less mess. Delicious, nutritious batch food.
Invite me next time. I'll show, i'll help clean up, and I'll say fucking thankyou.
>>47658220
>>47658172
>>47652465
True story:
My spouse's high school trip to France had them go to a place that served them cheese sandwiches.
Plain American cheese sandwiches on White Bread because that's what they thought Americans ate.
But they gave the black students table Fried Chicken.
The white students offered to trade their racially profiled meals, but their offer was declined.
>>47658271
Well done.
As far as tools go, it was more of a quick tap of the shoulder to indicate direction coupled with a Born in East L.A. reference.
>>47658324
>helping out someone who didn't understand why what they said was super pretentious
>not being too mean about it
>Frasier reference
>Cheech reference
>Firefly reference
>handling a good-natured joke with grace
There have been too few of your quality around here lately.
>>47658360
Thanks, I appreciate it.
I also appreciate the light touch with which I was honestly tricked.
Too many try to troll for fish with bait and pol and end up looking like obvious jerks dropping dynamite in the river.
In appreciation and celebration of this thread, have my Mashed Potato Cookie recipe:
2 cups bisquick
2 cups instant mashed potato flakes
1 cup sugar (or less)
1 egg
1-2 pats butter
3 drops vanilla extract
...plus whatever flavor I want to add; cinnamon, chocolate chips, pumpkin spice, etc.
>>47658560
dank
>>47658560
What the fuck do these even look like/taste like? I'm horrified
>>47658930
They look and taste Iike cooooookies!
>>47653726
>sounds like he didn't learn to do his own laundry until college
More that whoever told him how they did a half-assed job, whenever it was that he learned.
People only know as much as they're taught, especially when it comes to domestic and handyman things.
>>47650882
Honestly, one of my friends couldn't cook to save her life. I asked her why she didn't follow the given instructons, and her response was more or less:
>Unless you buy a preprepared meal, there's going to be 2-3 different recipes on the different packages
>I can't follow all of them, can I?
So if she bought frozen fries and a steak or something, she didn't want to use the recipes because the fries have a recipe, and the steak has a seperate recipe.
I told her to google whatever meal she wanted to make, and follow whatever recipe she'd find.
Now, she can make pretty much any meal at a basic level. It honestly shouldn't be that hard.
>>47650884
>punishes players when they ask questions he doesn't know the answer to
>>47658560
>Mashed potato cookies
Literally fucking what
What would honestly make a man even create such a thing
>>47651577
It's literally just some food.
We're not talking about showing up with fried insects. This is pasta, greens, spices and perhaps simple meat, like chicken.
>>47658560
Potato candy cookies are a thing, which apparently anons don't know about. But bisquick is disgusting, though I understand it has a big following in the Southern states. So it occupies that weird disgusting-delicious place where I don't have to like it, like Crisco.
>>47659005
>I can't follow all of them, can I?
Well why the fuck not?
>>47659032
I don't know.
I just went online looking for recipes that use potato flakes, as I find them useful as a savory thickening agent, and found it.
I tried it and they're good.
You need to add cinnamon or something flavorful or they taste like sweet bread.
You can also bake cake with mayonnaise.
Mayo cake and tater cookies
Food is fun.
>>47659156
>bisquick is disgusting
I don't find it so, and it's simpler than making it from scratch, but the less processed the better, usually.
>>47659168
I have no idea. She just couldn't manage two recipes.
>>47657951
Thanks for explaining it. I wasn't going to respond just in case it was bait. But that is spot on.
>>47659156
Do you even know what bisquick or crisco are? Bisquick is literally just flour and shortening and crisco is flavourless vegetable shortening used in baking. Saying you don't like crisco is like saying you don't like spatulas.
>>47655532
https://www.patreon.com/ratbat?ty=h
>>47659527
>28 patrons
jesus christ i want to die
>>47655532
Ratbat's stuff is hot as fuck though.
>>47648950
I know a few guys like that dude. Usually their mom always cooked so when they leave the roost all they know how to do is microwave. Or they still live at home and subsist on takeout when nobody's home to cook.
Usually they take a weird pride in not knowing how to not burn a salad even though there's a billion websites and YouTube channels that can guide a retarded one armed parapalegic with micro encephalitis how to make spaghetti and meatballs without burning down the countryside.
Anyway.
>One of the cooking-retarded friends is That Guy
>His current main character is a Vampire called Tepes
>Literally Dracula (it's a freeform online group and everyone else is cool with it)
>Is a drug kingpin, has unlimited money and infinite bodyguards
>can't ever be defeated, knows bloodbending and whatever martial arts skill you can Google
>Design looks exactly like him except a bit more muscular and without pimples
>Spends his time when not role-playing boasting about how many chicks his character railed this week
>Aslo tries to get girls numbers to sext them because he thinks if their character is attracted to his, they must want him IRL
>Always adds more abilities on a whim like some Stand shit after getting into JJBA
>When asked to roll a new character for side campaigns he rolls basically a new power fantasy version of himself with unlimited powers
The group got lame and I bounced since if I wanted to roll an elder Vampire I had to get his clearance first as he dubbed himself the 'vampire loremaster'... lol
I've got some bad that guy things going on
>always metagame
>always cheese as much as possible
>make up bullshit reasons to reroll
>deliberately misunderstand a card description or a rule in a new game for my advantage
And lastly
>when I've collected the most cheesy things and after rolling and everyone knows that with a roll like that + my items I will overkill the target, I still painstakingly count every single pip of damage even after the target hp has been reached
I'm getting better now and trying to stop these, especially the rerolling thing and abusing rules. Nobody ever called me out on it but I always knew it was wrong
>>47651653
Eat a dick. No, if I don't want to try a thing, I don't want to fucking try a thing. I won't be an ass about it unless you get pushy.
>>47654550
>When he read it he had to make a will save, which he failed.
That's called "metagaming". Don't know about the rest of your coolstory, but for that you deserve to be slapped.
>>47653115
I think the only strictly same-sex couple that stays happily married in Pathfinder is Oleg and Svetlana Leveton, from the Kingmaker adventure path.
Aside from that, Paizo pretty much just has the NPCs all have sexual orientations that fit whatever PC is currently approaching them, and it all ends in drama or tragedy anyway.
>>47659729
>>deliberately misunderstand a card description or a rule in a new game for my advantage
I do this a bit in D&D, I'm typically the only perosn who can remember all the rules in 5e for some reason, so sometimes I get tired of correcting people and use it to my advantage.
For example, my group has been playing weekly since it came out, and I recently had to explain to one player how death saves worked, and then remind another that you can still cast spells while concentrating on one, just can't have two concentration spells going at once.
>>47652941
That's not being a That Guy, that's just being dumb. You're dumb. Your character is dumb.
>Friend who is not exactly "that guy" but has "that guy" moments
>Talking to Elven guards about to cross a river around an orc camp
>Immediately puts his hand out with his "prince" ring
>"Im a prince, escort us"
>Our DM's face when the guards tell him to fuck off because they're escorting a high rank of the court
>>47659990
>Waah! Don't want try new thing!
>>47659990
Ok fine, but would you demand your host order you different food?
>>47648838
I did something like that once.
But it happened because I fell asleep while still at the water-boiling stage, not because I "didn't know how to cook".
What the hell.
>>47651819
>that fucking image
Just seeing a box of cosmic brownies makes my sphincter tighten in sympathy. /tg/ has ruined me.
Thank fuck we don't get them over here.
>>47659527
>>47659544
>$150per Comic page, Mature work, and or monster concept.
>per mature work
oh god no.
>>47659579
OH GOD THEY'RE IN THE THREAD.
>>47659990
>if *I* get pushy
>eat a dick
It's almost like you have some sort of socially oriented stunting that makes you behave like an entitled little shit.
>>47653245
>tfw you dislike soup
>>47655865
Try and convince him to run a scifi game like Eclipse Phase or another M&M game. Then YOU can be the vehicle anthro!
Come for the That Guy stories, stay for the pretention lessons, cooking tips, and vehicle porn.
>/tg/ - never change
>>47655865
Shut the fuck up. I was in the thread that that pasta is from.
>>47661022
the plot thickens.....like soup
>>47648562
I remember when my friend (the DM) thought I'd be the that guy in our group, when it turned out to be literally every one except me and one other person.
And I mean that guys where I had to point out that we were the good guys before they stop and we continue the story. As in, literally point out on everyone's sheets that they were good or neutral characters.
But sure DM, I'm the that guy for wanting a healing belt.
>>47655865
You're doing God's work anon
>>47660435
No, of course not. Hence not an ass unless he gets pushy.
>>47660580
Yes, you little shit, if you get pushy. If I say I don't want to try the garbage you just cooked up, and you keep demanding I eat it? I'm going to tell you exactly where to stuff it, fuckface.
>>47652670
Some people just want to watch the forest burn.
>>47660589
How do you dislike soup? It is so simple and good.
>>47661022
I was there too, but he may just be retelling the story. And he did post the guy's account, so even if it isn't him, he might not be lying about checking it out.
>>47662889
My mom dislikes it too. She says it has no substance.
Soup is THE best food for poor people. Soup allows for cheap meals, with fresh and healthy ingredients. I can make a weeks worth of onion soup and bread for under the price of a meal at McDonald's.
>>47662889
>soup
>good
I guess if you don't like your food to have any internal structure.
>>47663008
I used to dislike soup too, but I think it was mostly due to not having eaten very many soups. Mostly Campbell's shit really. I think part of the issue is that I'd only tried cheap chicken noodle and a couple of tomato based soups, when I've recently found out that I'm more partial to creamier soups and chowders.
I feel like soup is a very broad category, but it's easy to write it off after trying only a little bit. Especially if that first try was some watery piece of crap.
>>47662889
Idunno man, but if phoanon is still here, I'm just gonna say pho isn't a great choice for tabletop food, same goes for other soups, loose noodles like somen aren't much better, too much risk of making a mess. I'd have done something like goi cuon, pot stickers and such. Now that I think about it, turning a roomba or something into a dim-sum robot would be awesome
Food thread?
>>47663072
Humanity has been refining the art of cooking for thousands of years, what's your excuse for not making what may be the simplest dish in the world?
>>47663790
>>47663804
This is disgusting. Please stop.
>>47663827
>>47663827
Ok then, just imagine the first one with real chease
>>47663790
Most cheese is best served with wine, but that "cheese" is best served by throwing it straight into the trash.
>>47663838
>>47663859
Mmmm....
Tasty, tasty war crime dishes.
Because if you brought diplomacy into the issue, it would totally be a war-crime to make delicious food out of intelligent monsters. After you invade their home territory. So you can steal their shit.
And then you cook and eat them.
Delicious, delicious looking war-crime food, though.
>>47663887
>>47653688
>Because I will probably/definitely be a liability in combat (which is 99% of fucking pathfinder)
That depends on the GM, in my campaign it's less than 50%. You're still an asshole though, the other players don't want to babysit you in combat.
