>ITT: Funny/badass nat 20 rolls
Everyone share your most insane instances of nat 20 rolls.
It could either be really funny outcomes or insanely badass ones.
I just started playing recently and have yet to roll one and would like to hear some fond player stories or DM horror stories
>>47481104
Your thread will turn into another Dnd is shit/dnd is great shitposting thread.
I'm sorry it has to be this way.
>>47481104
While piloting pic related, rolled to dropkick the boss in his face and got a natural 20. Got to take an extra action to grind his face into the floor for even more massive damage. Felt amazing.
For a funny one, waaay back when the party was just getting started we found an abandoned cart in some beasty's cave. Our ogre had a pretty high crafting skill (for some reason) and decided to try his hand at piecing it back together so we didn't have to walk everywhere. Nat 20'd, so the DM ruled he'd done so well that the cart's axle was nearly frictionless, allowing us to just push it forward and hop on for the ride instead of taking turns pushing it.
>>47481104
>playing edition of game
>we just finished a thing starting another
>for a guy
>my buddy (kinda an idiot) tries to do something
>"hold up guys I got this"
>natural fucking number
>we all groan
>I step in even though my character isn't great at the thing
>"no, I got this"
>another. Natural. Number.
>table lost its shit
To be honest it was even funnier than that
>Be playing a ranger
>Chained to a wall alongside a cleric and a gnome wizard
>Cleric makes a strength roll to break out
>Nat 20
>I roll to break out
>Roll an 8 or something and fail
>Wizard rolls to break out
>Nat 20
>I refuse to be shown up by a gnome and roll again
>Nat 20
>mfw
The GM wasn't pleased.
>>47481104
I want those d20s
>>47481396
Can also be general dice porn thread if people want.
So long as I get a few stories out of it.
>>47481204
Multi-cart drifting?!
This happened just a bit ago
>Warlock with telepathy says he wants to convince a Skeleton to join the party
>Rolls a natural 20, so I let it happen
>The next thing they run into is 3 bugbears
>The party kills 2, one critically failed and fell on his ass
>They do some more damage and he gets up and surrenders, knowing he can't win a 6 v 1 fight
>Warlock convinces him to join him too
>They go into the next room and with some information from the bug bears surprise the four local gang members in it
>Party slaughters two of them before anyone can even react
>Warlock tells them to give up, they can't win a 7 v 2 fight
>They agree to join them
>Snowballs from there
>Paladin's face the entire time as more and more evil creatures join the party
>party's been going through this castle for three sessions
>nothing but zombies and shit
>we have no idea where the hell the necromancer is
>we can't even remember why we were running around in this castle in the first place
>my barbarian just wants to continue and murder shit
>bard stops and pauses for a minute
>"Guys let's go outside."
>"Why? We can't just leave we need to stop who's do-"
>"Just trust me."
>bard starts to leave
>whole party is perplexed
>GM has a smirk
>worryingintensifies.gif
>we get outside the castle
>"I pull out my harp and cast firestorm on the castle."
>bard rolls nat20 as the DM starts playing Through the Fire and Flames
>party's hyped as fuck
>barbarian in the moment grabs drums from the bard to help him out
>nat20 on performance check
>Elf Warlock tries playing the lute
>nat20 on performance check
>Dragonborn paladin takes out his flying javelin and starts singing as he's breathing fire
>nat20
>the entire town comes to edge as they see fire raining hell on this castle while we're just rocking out
>tfw we didn't complete the dungeon to do a concert
>tfw we killed an zombie army and a necromancer through the power of metal
>tfw my character's aunt was apparently hostage in that castle and she only lived long enough to cry in agony to the party
>tfw it was totally worth it
This was probably one of the best sessions I've DM'd or played in.
Not a d20 system but
>playing savage worlds
>player was captured, rest of the party is trying to rescue him
>guard walks in, he rolls to punch him in an attempt to escape
>explodes both his attack and damage dices multiple times, ends up getting like a 50 on his attack roll and 100 on his damage
>>47481531
I enjoy the look of those dice.
>>47481555
Why did the GM allow this?
My buddy was playing a pirate.
Him and the other 3 were on a mission to rescue a huge amount of enslaved mages.
The mages were being kept on a remote island in a huge stronghold. With the island being bordered by a huge sloped stone wall so ships normally couldn't get by.
It's worth noting that he'd previously managed to get his hands on a galleon warship (not going to get into it but he fucking earned it)
Their plan was to steal disguises, infiltrate the prison ward and walk all the mages back to the boat and escape. Saying they were transporting them to a different island.
They managed to reach the mages and open the cells but everything went to shit and they had to fight their way back to the ship.
But they had fucking dozens of mages so it wasn't an issue mostly.
However, they get in the ship, and as they try to sail out the front gate, the remaining guards close the doors and all run to their own ships to try and take the galleon down.
He fucking orders all the mages to use telekinesis on the boat. I wasn't going to let that happen, even though it was rad, because if I recall correctly ONE mage could lift around 300 pounds max and a typical galleon weighed like 500-1000 tonnes.
However, he rolled a 20 on THAT roll of all things so I threw him a bone and said the collective power of all the mages was enough to lift the ship 60 feet in the air, sailing over the wall and dropping back into the water.
He took on the mages as crew members and I adjusted the rules to abide by the logic of what just happened so for the rest of the campaign he effectively had a goddamned sky ship. The only 'aircraft' in game.
He eventually outfitted the hell out of it with dozens of broadside cannons and mortars
Shit was bananas.
>>47482370
>>47481531
I wish. We only ever got the one cart though, and the wheels were still wooden pieces of shit.
Another fun Nat 20 experience we had in the village market, quick preface; 'Other' is a homebrew rule. A kind of jack of all trades skill that can apply to basically everything but has near-zero conversions for normal tasks. It's actual use is for taking actions that don't fall into anything else without a lot of finagling. The stranger the action you're taking the more Other will count.
>Hocking a 'Vampiric Ax'
>Claiming it steals life from whatever you strike with it
>It actually takes half the wielder's current HP in exchange for utterly destroying whatever they hit with it
>We pass it off to our dwarf
>He has all his points put into his 'Other' skill
>Plan to have him force his beard to grow while bluffing away the pain
>Nat 20's a chicken
>It dies horribly
>Turns out the ax doesn't hurt you on crits
>Dwarf succeeds 'Other' roll
>Beard is visibly fuller, chicken is dead, he's in perfect shape
>The crowd goes wild
Party took their share and split town pretty quickly after buying equipment, but the bard and dwarf took too long and got caught.
Somehow the bard convinced the mob he'd been duped and that the party was actually mind-flayers in disguise, so they let him hunt us down on his own.
That was a fun one-shot.
Nat 1 bonus story:
I once possessed a gorgon and accidentally petrified myself.
bumping for moer green texts
A couple weeks ago, not enough of our players showed up for a weekly session, so for kicks and giggles, we decided to do a goofy one-shot as 11 year olds. Rolled stats as 3d4 in order. I ended up 5 int. Rolled a Catfolk Ranger. Favorite Enemy: Constructs. Fuck robots.
Anyway, I was in a tree, and we were being attacked a clockwork bird spitting magic missiles, and I was the only one with ranged attacks, and everyone else was starting to run. I had about 2 health left, and it came to my turn.
"How high up is the bird?"
>About 30 feet.
"And how high up am I?"
>About 25 feet.
"So I could reach it?"
>Uhh... if you jumped.
"That's what I do."
>Are you sure? The rest of the part is runni-
"FIVE. INT. I jump."
>Roll acrobatics.
As I rolled the die, thinking, "Welp, this kid is dead, but that was fun anyway."
Nat 20.
I caught the bird in my mouth, rolled off the top of a hooded cart, and ran off into the woods. While we were running, I poked and prodded it until it deactivated, then pulled the wand of magic missile out of it's beak. GM said "Congratulations, you have now stolen a demon's familiar."
Wasn't fancy, but it was fun.
Our DM had one of our players turned into a demon-shadow thing through some dark ritual and set him against our group; we were all on horseback. He made his health normal but his resistances stupid high. The first attack roll against him was a 20 from our ranger. DM wasn't displeased, but he was definitely shocked, and the rest of us were laughing. DM says that the ranger stands up on his horse, does a back flip, shoots the shadow thing in the head while flipping, then lands safely on horse. Good times.
DMs face when the nat 20.
DMs who don't treat nat 20's like they're fucking special are the most egregious 'no fun allowed'ers of all time.
It's more than just a guaranteed hit you cocksuck.
>>47481104
I love story threads
>>47481104
>my wife was playing a bard and was rolling badly one night.
>trying to diplomacy a guard into letting one of the other players out
>got a nat one, guard was going to arrest her
>says she was going to flash her tits to get out of the situation
>jokingly say that she's going to have to actually flash them if she rolls a nat 20.
>rolls a nat 20
>flashes tits to friends
>good times were had
>not mad at all
>>47483465
It's no more special than any other number on the d20
>>47481216
/thread
>five of us
>innatavern
>predictable bar fight occurs
>brawler grabs mandolin from musician playing in tavern
>swings
>nat20.jpg
>confirms it, DM has a small stroke
>"You swing the instrument and at the point of contact create a slipspace rupture, tearing a small hole in the spacetime continuum. The man you hit is no longer there, and in your hands is a solid adamantium mandolin forged by the God of Musicians himself. You now roll 3d10s for damage."
>mfw
>>47483465
fucking special things don't happen once very 20 attempts
nat 20 is just a guaranteed hit
nat 20 with confirm is something neat
nat 20 with double confirm is fucking special
>>47482159
ITT: things that didn't happen
>>47484578
as dm, i dont double confirm. it wastes time and steals a good feeling away from the players. we generally get one confirm a session, maybe a couple standards a session too.
>Pathfinder
>Be fighting eldritch horrors
>Mfw the natural attacker bullrushes away one of the guys, passing by my side
>Mfw I crit him on the way past
>Enemy is described as getting thrown in the direction of my character, who promptly cuts it in half
>Mfw we TPKed because clearly fighting wis-damage dealing enemies with 50% missrate and an insanity aura in an area where anything except our untyped/Ex abilities were blocked was impeded was clearly a bad idea
>>47481104
>be GM in a low-mid-fantasy setting
>session going to end in some epic battle
>boss arrives at city, charging with his army
>full armor, bulky as fuck, NPCs take on the others while PCs are up for BBEG and his 2 loyal henchmen
>players discussion what to do
>"yo GM; do we still have that magical fire in a bottle?"
>they found some magical fire in a bottle which can't be extinguished by usual means if it hits something
>"sure, why not. You found it few sessions ago, you have it."
>2 players on a wall, the others down below on the battlefield
>guy on the wall has the bottle, around 20m above ground
>"I pass it down to the other guy!"
>whatthefuckaretheyplanning.jpg
>"you sure? this bottle could break n stuff, but if you want, roll"
>he rolls solid, I'm ok with this
>"You manage to throw it down in X's direction. X, go ahead and roll for catch"
>natural 20 from X
>wtfisgoingonstopthis.wav
>"What are you going to do with that, X?"
>"How far is the BBEG?"
>"around 40meters"
>"I throw the bottle."
>he was that bulky, non-swifty guy in the party who could barely handle the catch without any assistance from that nat20
>tell him if he fails he might drop that bottle on himself, dying
>"idc, I'll handle this, trust me."
>tabel goes dead silent, he rolls in the middle of the table
>NATURAL. FUCKING. 20.
>roll to evade as BBEG, rolling a 2
>fuckmylife.png
>bottle hits, BBEG goes down without even getting one strike while screaming in pain
>party goes apeshit insane for beating the BBEG without a scratch
>they mop the floor with the rest of the guys, saving the city from a raid
>GM's other half walks in
>Everyone at the table makes loud humorous jokes about what they'd do to her if they were in his place
>Roll to sleep with GM's gf
>Nat
>Fucking
>20
>GM can't deny my natty 20, and through tears demands she has to do the deed with me
>As I thrust into her she cries, knowing she was powerless against me and my superior digit rolling skills
>2 years later and the game fell apart on account of the GM having to raise my Critical-induced spawn
So let me preface this by saying I was finally able to play DnD with a group after years of trying to find other people. It feels so great to be able to actually say 'hey, I'm actually playing these games now instead of reading about them'.
With that said onto how my personal stupidity nearly caused a wipe.
So our merry band is a group of 4 elves, 2 humans and a troll. We stumble about in the darkness of the cave, killing several freaky snake men before we manage to find some of the captive villagers. We decide to split up and have the elves escort the villagers back to the cave entrance while the 2 humans and troll go further in to clear out the scum in the cave.
the troll is a dumb as bricks bruiser with a gentle heart, specced out by his player for improvised combat and grappling.
my character is a human knight who's big on chivalry and lawful as fuck but relatively inexperienced with the wider world at large
other human is a fallen knight who's going through grief at the recent loss of his family and village.
So we continue on just the three of us, our tankyness allowing us to easily dispatch several groups of snake-men before we come across what i'm going to call the Twins. The twins are much larger than the other ones we've faced so far, almost as tall as the 9ft troll.
The troll and fallen knight rush for the one with the long bow while i rush at the one with a scimitar and shield.
after a couple of turns i was lucky enough to dispatch the one i went after and went to help out fallen knight and the troll. At this point, the trolls has managed to get the slippery son of a bitch into a bear hug.
>>47485225
And what do i do /tg/?
The stupidest thing i could possibly due because i lack foresight.
I go to power attack the snake from behind while its in a bear hug of death.
i rolled a 1 obviously, but that power attack was with a fuck huge claymore.
The GM describes in brutal detail how my attack misses the snake, but nearly severs the arm of the troll, before the blade goes down into my foot.
I nearly killed the damn troll in a single hit AND myself.
The trolls player says this causes him to enter a tard rage and the troll lets out a deafening roar.
gm has us roll will save.
i pass.
the snake fucker passes
fallen knight does not.
Fallen knight faints from the roar but not before shitting himself.
the troll finishes off the snake by snapping its back with his grappling.
we ended the session there.
just how badly did i fuck up?
>>47484565
what the fuck is this gay shit
>>47482159
FUCK YEAH
>>47487706
Truly a legendary hero.
>>47481216
What? The exact same thing happened to me last session! That's crazy, man.
>>47484565
Haha lol! The 1/400 chance broke through the fabric of the universe LEL man that was so cool and funny
>All the salty boys who hate fun ITT
>>47481104
Doubt it's either funny or badass, but it's a nat 20 story nonetheless.
>party is fighting a group of evil cultists/possesed peasants
>DM and I are getting the worsts rolls
>Mook#1,2,3 and I have been stuck in combat for what seems to be hours, taking no damage at all.
>finally the rest of my Party members manage to dispatch their foes and come to my aid
>Weapons jammed, druid almost out of spells, and other shenanigans ensues until only one peasant stands against me and the druid
>with his last spell, druid ignites the peasant, who refuses to step down
>peasant keeps fighting in a glorious blaze of glory, taking constant fire damage
>meanwhile I can't land a single hit on the sneaky bastard, the penalty for non-lethal strikes isn't helping either
>reminder than the DM has been getting the worst rolls this night
>damage rolls from the fire damage ticks aren't exempt from this
>peasant still can't hit for shit, neither do I and the battle keeps dragging on forever
>finally the peasant is at 2 hp, all done from fire damage only
>DM rolls for the final tick and...
>1 DMG
>awkward silent across the board
>"...Your move, Anon"
>I attempt to attack non-lethaly but the DM cuts me short
>"Just...just roll and attack normally, he's dead already"
>I can feel his pain and relucantly do so, forfeiting that nasty non-lethal penalty hoping to end this now
>and lo and behold, Nat 20.
>DM lose his shit.
>at this point peasant is but a golem made of charcoal, he turns into ashes and fades away.
As I said, not particularly funny or badass, but the interesting thing is that we got shoved into that encounter because our Gunslinger rolled a nat 20 and obliterated a friendly druid suppresing the cultists thinking he was our foe.
