For me it's Zlatan: he's intelligent, nihilistic and with a wicked sense of humour, just like me.
>>69583678
Zlatan for me as well because he has a long hooked nose.
Romário. He like bitches, shemales, he's honest, bald and sincere like me.
Ronaldo because his whole career, everything he has done has been a battle against abortion. His whole career has been to show the world that abortion is wrong.
When Ronaldo did his '15' celebration, he was doing it to show how happy he was that he passed 15 weeks in his mothers womb without her killing him (when you reach the 16th week abortion becomes illegal in Portugal)
When he looked at the boys doing an underwear contest, it was a pleasure to see them because they were fully formed children and not aborted foetuses wearing underwear
He refused to carry Portugal from the earliest stage of the world cup because his mother didn't want to carry him through the earliest stages of pregnancy, it was a protest
Ronaldo hates Messi not because he is a footballing rival but because Messi was never going to be aborted. Ronaldo was in his mothers womb at the abortion clinic, waiting to be sucked out without ever having even learnt the meaning of hair gel, but this never happened with Messi. Even though Messi was always going to be born as a short, ugly,deformed midget in need of drugs to become healthy, his mother loved him and never tried to abort him. Ronaldo sees this and it makes him angry. He is CR7, the peak of the human fitness possibility, the strongest, fastest man in the world. How can his mother want to abort him but Messis mother never wanted to abort Messi even after finding out about his deformities? Whenever Messi scores, it is taunting Ronaldo, it is saying ''I wanted that goal more than my mother wanted to give birth to me''.
If you go to the Ronaldo museum you will find an entire exhibit dedicated to pictures of Ronaldo in his mothers womb. His mother has never visited out of shame. As a Catholic I praise CR7 for his fight against the unholy murder.
>>69583746
Nice
Ibra is a fucking idiot. Also arrogant and selfish, will always be overshadowed by Van der Vaart
the man everyone likes to hate.
A battler on and off the field.
doing what you must to succeed in life.
Also he has the superior skin deficiencies and mutations
-Can't have the same job for a prolonged period of time.
-Permachild
-An asshole who remains silent most of the time
-His capabilities are terribly overrated, even by himself
Arjen Robben: intelligent, nihilistic and with a wicked sense of humour
Completely useless since 2012
>>69583789
>van der faart
>>69583678
>nihilistic
For me it's Yaya Toure: he's intelligent, nihilistic and with a wicked sense of humour, just like me.
except I turned shit a lot yonger and make a 1000x less vacuuming
>>69583746
Good post. God speed.
>>69583789
kek fuck off
>>69583746
interesting theory
good post
>>69584448
This is pretty much /sp/ in a nutshell. All this potential, but here we all are, wasting away.
For me it's Luis Suárez: intelligent, nihilistic and with a wicked sense of humour.
>>69584961
>this shitty ass small screen
I don't get it, don't they earn a crap ton of money?
>>69584992
he lives life and doesnt watch tv all day
>>69583678
his ego is also through the roof :^)
>>69584992
That isn't small for a bedroom tv
>>69584992
>not being obsessed with jumbo-sizing everything is a bad attribute
What is your logic?
For me it's Benteke: he's intelligent, nihilistic and with a wicked sense of humour, just like me.
For me it's Nerman: intelligent, nihilistic and with a wicked sense of humour, just like me.
Bielsa because autism
For me it's Lionel Andrés "Leo" Messi: intelligent, nihilistic and with a wicked sense of humour, just like me.
For me it's tito vilanova: intelligent, nihilistic and with a wicked sense of tumour, just like me.
>>69583678
Zlatan because he is a Balkan Diaspora fag just like me.
also czech em
>>69584961
Can someone shop the hillsbrah fence onto the TV?
Aleksandar Mitrovic: intelligent, nihilistic and with a wicked sense of humour
>>69583678
>nihilistic
He's Catholic you mong
>>69584326
>>69583746
this explains so much
>>69588753
Frauds as a player, fraud as a coach, fraud as a man as well.
Gary Speed because I don't deserve to live
>>69583678
Michael Johnson all the way
For me it's George Best: he's intelligent, nihilistic and with a wicked sense of humour, just like me.
>>69583746
Trying too hard
>Stevie G: Underrated, loyal to a fault and at great personal expense. Adored by those who truly know
>Suarez: Passionate. Sometimes misunderstood yet sincere. Haven't snapped at someone (physically) yet
>Mou: Very creative yet practical. Can see through any lie and meme in the world. Does not associate with the appearance-conscious Poop types. Thinks the world is going to shit and says "fuck it" half the time. Slightly losing the plot but still has a way better grasp on it than most
>LeBron: Bird's eye view of the world. Can rise above any bullshit life throws at me.
Very few people see the world the way I do. Most can't relate. And that's how I like it.
You'd love me as a friend if you knew me IRL
>>69583678
Hilarious and world class.
>>69583746
thanks, will use this copypasta sometime down the track
michael essien. he's intelligent, nihilistic and with a wicked sense of humour, just like me.
>>69584992
probably in a hotel
