Gazza
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You are currently reading a thread in /sp/ - Sports
Could he have been GOAT if he wasn't a raving lunatic and alcoholic?
He's not even 50 yet btw
he's already the greatest english footballer of time though
>>69485459
wouldn't have been as famous though
wasnt he getting help kek
>>69485459
Still looks in better shape than Rooney. Maybe a comeback on the cards.
No, he could never have been GOAT, because British midfielders lack tactical sophistication and know how - he compensated with ludicrous talent and vision.
Note how he killed Cameroon in 1990 with some killer balls, but otherwise Makanakay and company utterly bossed the midfield.
he is only worth $100,000 now
imagine he invested some of his money and never touched drugs or alcohol, could have been a regular on motd
>Paul Gascoigne new low as he exposes himself in the street on the hunt for more booze
>>69485459
>He's not even 50 yet btw
>british genes
>>69485906
being a raging alcoholic, druggie etc will age you
>>69486147
this
Best turned into a Simpsons character after drinking alcohol nonstop
>>69486200
did best also end up broke ?
>>69486200
Jesus Christ, yellow fever
>>69485459
Why is it always British people ending up like that? What's wrong with them?
![Gas_3014834b[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/U8I2dgN.jpg "Gas_3014834b[1].jpg")
>49 years old
JUST
reminds me of my mother, her alcohol problems are tearing our family apart
come home plenty of times to her either stumbling around, or passed out, even a few times falling over around the village or in a bush
>>69486346
Rip Torn? Hasselhoff? Brando? It's Anglos, not just Brits
>>69486434
It's a shame she didn't abort you in a drunken rage, you fucking fetal alcohol syndrome abomination.
>>69486434
Shit, me too mate. Had two years of it.
Similar to what you say, along with shoplifting (even though she has no need to). Sick of the constant lies.
People don't really get alcoholism, they laugh about being a bit of one because they enjoy a pint on a weekend.
>>69486346
They live in the depressing Britain, obv.
>>69486200
holy shit its count dooku
>>69488027
>depressing Britain
Says the gypsy who lives in a country where people die when it snows.
We're self-depreciating but we are one of the most developed, richest countries on the planet.
>>69486200
I don't remember George Best appearing on the Simpsons...
>>69488027
Says the war-torn hellhole
i want to see an uncensored version
n-no homo of course
>>69486434
YOU'RE TEARING ME APART, MOTHER
>>69488107
oooh you fookin wet m8 i leev in inglnd m8, we haz niggas and pakiz m8 and shitty weatha m8 fookin legendz m8 go inglnd m8 we drink ourselvz to deth m8 we fookin legendz m8 such rubbizh m8 m8m8m8m8m8m8m8m8
>>69488146
>>69488107
Bosnia is based tho. nice weather, chill ppl and great food.
>>69488228
hello asmir
>>69488146
My country is still 10x prettier than yours, all you have is a shitload of 16th century bulidings, they're fucking everywhere.
>>69485459
Post uncensored.
>>69485459
is.... that wrong?
His demons were always there sadly and manifesting in some form.
Damn shame, that goal against Scotland always sticks in my mind.
>tfw you will never get your SUIT MEASURED HEEE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZwNAZFHHirg
so who is this guy, what are his accomplishments, and why is he all kinds of fucked up right now these pictures are stright up creepy
>Bosnia & Herzegovina
Just the name is enough to make you want to pop a cyanide pill.
>>69488261
>His demons
You mean DRUGS, Ahmed?
>>69488262
competetive drinking champion
>>69488261
Yeah he had a nervous twitch, his dad pulled him out of his treatment program which didn't help either.
He had a shit childhood, his uncle accidentally killed one of his best mates iirc
>>69488262
One of, if not the most naturally talented footballers England has ever produced. Except he was, and still is, a massive pisshead.
>>69488245
>My country is still 10x prettier than yours
Objectively false
Also:
>didn't even qualify for the Euros
Top lel
>>69488322
The drinking culture was big in the England team even in the mid 90's. Adams went to rehab post-Euro 96 from memory, and of course all the dentist chair shit.
A lot of teams had a drinking culture in the early days of the Prem, Man United, Sheffield Wednesday, Notts Forest and Arsenal were four clubs that had teams that bonded on a big boozing culture and I'm sure it was the same at quite a few other clubs too.
Ladies and Gentlemen, your official nicest country in the world!
can he UNJUST?
>>69485459
>Master Yoda, I...
>>69488298
And schizophrenia and bi-polar disorders
>>69488430
kid looks like he's having fun
Paul Gascoigne has arrived at scene saying he is a friend of Raoul Moat.
>>69488322
>>69488262
Somebody needs to post the Euro 96 goal against Scotland
>On 9 July 2010 Gascoigne appeared at the scene of the tense stand-off between the police and Raoul Moat, claiming to be a friend of Raoul Moat and stating that he had brought him "a can of lager, some chicken, fishing rod, a Newcastle shirt and a dressing gown." He was denied access to Moat.[168] I
>>69485459
You're asking if Gazza could have been GOAT if he wasn't Gazza
this is the natural course of his life
>>69485459
I remember him in his prime and I watched the Gazza documentary recently, feel sad seeing him like this.
Too much fame too early in his career, an addictive personality and without the protection modern players get, he was destined for disaster.
RIP in peace soon Gazza.
i've never seen a full body JUST before
>>69488529
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tFcc1ofOoJg
Didn't even know the bloke, he was coked up big time time kek
>>69486434
>>69487259
Man up
>>69488396
Can confirm as a Forest supporter that the entire culture surrounding our club and supporters is based off of boozing, often be down the pub near City Ground and have Kenny Burns or another Forest legend come in
>>69488345
>Also:
>>didn't even qualify for the Euros
>Top lel
Actually, I'm a Croat with dual citizenship, so techinically my country did qualify and we went further than you, antique buildings boy. I also went to two games in France, fookin m8.
>>69488396
Yeah, Kenny Samson is another one from Arsenal. I'm from Bromley, he's basically become the town drunk now, he keeps getting found passed out around town.
http://www.mirror.co.uk/tv/tv-news/former-england-ace-kenny-sansom-7760557
>mein gesicht wenn i had no idea just how bad actual alcoholism is till i actually met one
HOLY SHIT was i a sheltered fuck. Always assumed that alcoholics were people who were simply irresponsible drinkers who only got drunk out of laziness, never really understood just how powerful an addiction it was until that moment.
at least one thing England is good at
>>69488223
>>69486392
Why does he look like one of this middle aged homosexual men who try to dress like a 20 year old still.
>>69485906
kek you fucking spastic.
>>69488560
Isnt Linekar worth a fortune now? Remarkable how much their careers changed after professional football
>>69488027
Nice irrelevant flag and country. No fucking idea what your shithole has contributed to the world.
Why do they drink so much? Just have a drink or two, how can you even drink a fifth a day of hard liquor every day?
>>69485694
Probably could have had a more successful playing career too
>Gazza in the Scum yet again
Just put him down guys, it's fucking tragic
>british athletes and drinking
>>69488396
Isn't that the one thing Arsene went in there and sorted the fuck out? I'm sure he told them to fuck off with the boozing and sorted out their diets etc. Shame he's a senile obstinate cunt now
>>69490355
He certainly helped, brought a professional work ethic to Arsenal with strict diets and exercise regimes, I don't think Adams, Winterburn and co. Would've had had such a long career if they stayed with old habits.
>>69488107
>self-depreciating
Well your currency did go down 30% because you voted to leave the EU
>>69494671
itll be fine
UK was fine without the EU.... many smaller countries are fine without an EU-like set up
AUS, CAN, NZ being the obvious ones
>>69494671
wrong pic
go lestah, lifelong here
>>69495027
They haven't left. Posting that graph, or the drop in the GBP, is beyond dumb because it just shows a short-term trend. Neither are accurate indicators of what will really happen then the UK leaves.
>>69495027
>>69495105
Except that MSM was running a 24 hour doomsday financial crisis meltdown angle until the market recovered and it was business as usual.
The EU does not exist without access to British consumers, who make up well over 50 percent in certain industries and at least 40 percent in nearly all of them.
>>69495173
>The EU does not exist without access to British consumers
You're beyond deluded if you think this is true.
>>69495726
Stop thinking the UK is like your shitty pointless, third world shithole. You're an irrelevance in the EU.
wtf i hate britain now
>>69489965
Because that's what he is
>>69495105
but the world was supposed to end!!!! trillions of dollars lost!!!!
they havent left yet, but now everyone knows they will
>>69496497
>You're an irrelevance in the EU
Pretty soon we'll be more relevant than you.
>>69496599
>but the world was supposed to end!!!! trillions of dollars lost!!!!
They haven't left anon.
>but now everyone knows they will
Do they? Because the PM to be isn't exactly on the Brexit side.
>>69496684
>Do they? Because the PM to be isn't exactly on the Brexit side.
The UK is leaving m8. She's said as much. There's no going back now.
>>69496684
>Pretty soon we'll be more relevant than you.
No you won't, and you never will be. You're a third world, poverty-stricken, bankrupt southern Europe shithole. with a rekt economy and huge youth unemployment levels.
You're propped up by a EU that is going to be non-existent in less than 20 years and you'll have it bad.
>>69496924
>non-existent in less than 20 years
We've been here for almost 900 years despite all the problems. Pretty sure we'll still be around in 20.
>>69496972
The EU, you fucking thick cunt.
It's literally there in my post you've quoted, but decided to ignore.
Fucking shitskins.
wtf i hate britain now
>>69496751
All the scrub EU nations that get hand outs are trying to convince themselves it wont happen. Kek
>>69497012
>british
>unironically calling others shitskins
you can't make this shit up
>>69497247
Nothing "unironic" about it at all.
Your shithole county is full of niggers and shitskins. The UK is 87% white.
This is fact, you Moorish skidmark.
/pol/ plz
>>69497460
>thinking everyone is from /pol/
Ahmed, pls.
>>69497373
By the way you're chimping out over nothing it's really hard to grasp you're 87% white.
Portugal is 98% white. We're also 85% catholic and nearly 90% christian.
Deal with it Mohammad.
>>69497558
>Portugal is 98% white
Pahahahaha!
>>69497614
Excellent argument my Muslim friend.
>>69497663
He's Jamaican though, kek.
You can't even get that right. Fucking dopey nigger.
>>69497663
So, not white. Probably much like yourself.
>>69497705
Didn't look like the Jamaican strip he's wearing
>>69497737
>wearing an english football shirt makes you english
Christ, Ahmed, You only needed to Google him, you silly paki.
>>69485459
Holy fuck I thought he's already 60 or 70 what the fuck is going on in that picture
He's the same as George Best, i.e drunk subhuman chav who could have been good if he had minimal education and knowledge about how to not end up a fucking disgrace
Rooney will also walk on the same path
>>69490041
hopefully he doesn't shit the bed
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e_PLu9KWNK8
>>69490098
In my experience, it takes longer to get drunk because your body becacomes immune to alcohol. So you need more if it to have the same affect.
So you can start off with 1 on 2 but you'll work your way up very fast to a bottle.
And when the rancid old cunt karks it, you won't get a sticky either you pack of poofters.
>gazza thread turns into /pol/shit
FUCK OFF ALREADY HOLY SHIT
I want to discuss the coke head who had all the talent in the world not muh eu muh brexit lel muzzies and niggers so fahnny
>>69485694
In his day footballers only earned enough to pay for basic living essentials tbf.
>>69488345
I love how that main square turns from a nice tourist and cultural hub in the day to drug dealer central at night. Can't wait to go back tbqhwyf.
>>69490041
>stay clean
>be a cheeky but clean presenter
>age like wine
vs
>drink all the drink and do all the drugs
>befriend serial killers
>sound like Michael off of Alan Partridge
Lineker was always going to make more money
>>69486200
DELET TIS
The England team in '96 was one of my most admired NTs during my childhood.
> Gazza
> Macca
> Paul Ince
> Sheringham
> Shearer
> Seaman
Shame some of these legends ended up like this.
>>69500816
Do you like Semen?
>>69490098
>>69500526
Doesn't it get to the point you have to drink to even function? Like shakes and anxiety and shit.
t. watched that louis theroux doc
>>69500840
Your mum likes my semen in her cunt
>>69485459
>Not changing the filename to "The Gazza Strip"
Smh
>>69500860
Probably, she is a slag.
>>69500854
I always tried to go 1-2 days a week without alcohol, so I never got to that stage. I had cravings but no shit like anxiety or shaking.
>>69500883
>some journo cunt will be reading this and will steal that pun
>>69488743
tell yourself that, Herzeg-Bosnia scum, as you roam the still damaged village of Mostar
>>69485459
>cant handle banter on 4chan
>cant handle their liquor
makes you think
>>69486392
Dont forget hes been an alcoholic for decades. Drinking long term fucks your shit up tremendously
![MV5BMjI4NjYzMzQwOV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwMjM2OTc2NzE@._V1_SY1000_CR0,0,666,1000_AL_[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/9GwAOtH.jpg "MV5BMjI4NjYzMzQwOV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwMjM2OTc2NzE@._V1_SY1000_CR0,0,666,1000_AL_[1].jpg")
>>69501155
Paddys seem to take it well
Why the fuck is it censored, need to see whether he's a big guy or not.
>>69500793
>befriending a serial killer
Moaty wasn't a serial killer he only killed one person and blinded another.
>>69486392
he looks like he's wearing the skin of another man as a mask
>>69485459
does anyone have the uncensored pic?
>>69501215
>What is your name?
>Nae one, pet
>>69485459
uncensored please
>>69485459
really wanna see this uncensored
>>69485459
If someone posts uncensored I'll have a cheeky wank to it if I get dubs
>>69501207
>>69501232
>>69501340
>>69501349
>>69501426
There probably isn't one available to the public you bunch of gays.
>>69501526
well pls post if it shows up
really wanna see it
Honestly he was pretty much as good as he could be and that's one of the best in the world.
I'll tell you who would've been goat
Ravel
>>69501602
Great composer.
>>69486392
he looks like johnny depp in that gangster movie that came out recently, kek
>>69486434
>>69487259
Mine too lads, went through it fir about 8 years then she died last year. Try your best to get her to change before its too late.
People really don't understand how crushing it can be until they've experienced someone suffering with it.
>>69488625
Faggot.
>>69488107
>Britain criticizing the heating and isolation of other countries
Gazza walks into a bar, he is an alcohol and it's tearing his family apart
>>69502009
Alice Through the Looking Glass?
>Posting this shit like a bunch of chavs at the hairdressers
Do you read Hello as well you fucking princess?
>>69490355
Why do you think Paul Merson hates him? Wenger himself said "I tried to help the man" that's why piss head Merse was gone after a year and we had to hear his sob story about personal demons for years on end.
>>69502009
bretty underrated movie I think. it got hated it on hard by critics because it wasn't more childish fantasy superhero bullshit, I enjoyed the film. Depp plays a terrifying character.
>>69506184
Utter fucking bollocks I'm afraid.
Merson moved to Middlesbrough, and left after a season because he was trying to get clean and there was a booze culture at Boro under Robson.
>>69485518
excuse me but... Bobby Charlton? Kevin Keegan? Bobby Moore?
>>69485459
Is this one of those Druid people? That worship Wicker furniture and shit?
>>69488396
That's why england wil never win a world cup again. Look i'm italian but egnlish football fan and three lions supporter
Brits, I have to ask, why is so many of your townspeople like this?
I am a Chilean and I am on a holiday to the UK.
I am right now in York. Very beautiful
But yesterday, I was travelling to see the streets and I walked past a store.
Some drunk smelling man came out- he has his dressing gown, just like Gazza, and he shouted into the shop 'YOU FUCKIN CUNT, YOU FUCKIN CUNT, YOU POLISH BASTARD I'LL BE BACK FOR MY MARS' like a football chant. Then as he walked past he said to me (and I smelt his breath) 'listen up mate theres a polish mars bar thievin bastard in there.... gets his caramel from merkels ass' then walked off
This seems to happen in every town lol. What is happeneing?
>>69495173
I am glad only one person took this disgusting bait
>>69508227
Seems like comedy gold. Don't cross their paths at night though, that's when they get violent.
>>69488345
>>69500784
Prague is a fucking amazing city. One of the best European cities I've been to 2bh
I think it was also the cheapest city I've visited for beer too (I think we got pints of Gambrinus for 35 Kc. if I remember, which is basically a quid)
>>69488743
So you're a member of not one but two countries that are so awful they aren't even allowed into the shithole that is the Schengen zone? so fucking jelly
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZOWVVoC64wY
Gazza calls up a radio station.
>>69506476
> “What I care about is if players are punished or criticised in an unjustified way. Honestly, I cannot even be upset about it. It does not matter to me. You say what you want. You are free. I managed Paul Merson ... I tried. I’m not interested in him.”
And with that, he was sent on his way with a crate of Stella.
>>69509197
What are you struggling to understand? Merson wasn't on the sauce when he came to Boro. It's because of the drink culture at the club he fucking left.
>>69508227
Seems like your average rambling drunk, found everywhere in the world. Ignore them gracefully and move on lest they have a hissy fit. Lumpenproletariat.
What I'm saying is that he's distinguishable from your average britlad getting smashed in town.
In any case it's probably been a few really shitty weeks for Polski sklep workers what with all the abuse.
No uncensored pics to see what he's working with? No homo of course
![tlc-logo2x[1].png](https://i.imgur.com/zXIUj70.png "tlc-logo2x[1].png")
>>69508227
>Some drunk smelling man came out- he has his dressing gown, just like Gazza, and he shouted into the shop 'YOU FUCKIN CUNT, YOU FUCKIN CUNT, YOU POLISH BASTARD I'LL BE BACK FOR MY MARS' like a football chant. Then as he walked past he said to me (and I smelt his breath) 'listen up mate theres a polish mars bar thievin bastard in there.... gets his caramel from merkels ass' then walked off
>>69486434
you should have made an effort in the "post here or your mum dies" threads
its all your fault
>>69485459
anyone got this uncensored?
Well this guy went to hell.
Also does Sun follow the dude or something?
>>69511985
>Also does Sun follow the dude or something?
The paps do.
>>69512030
Poor guy.
Funny how differently people react to long term drinking.
My grandpa has been a notorious alcoholic for decades and he's still chugging on fine at 75
>>69514913
I dont think your grampy had the money and mountains of cocaine and who knows what else.
>>69509096
HAWAY MOATY IT'S ME GAZZA
That shit was surreal.
>>69485720
The Sun is worse than trash
Did anyone see that Euro 96 documentary? There was a classic Gazza story, where he was running around the hotel being hyperactive, so Venables told Seaman to take Gazza fishing to calm him down. On the way Seaman saw Gazza popping pills and asked him what they were, to which Gazza replied something like "they're sleeping pills, I'm trying to learn to fight the tiredness". Inevitably Gazza pased out by the side of the river.
>>69488200
kek
>>69520073
Nope, you got a source for this?
1) One hour after playing for England, met 'showbiz pals' Danny Baker and Chris Evans in a Hampstead pub while still wearing his full kit... boots included.
2) When asked for his nationality before an operation, told the nurse: "Church Of England."
3) On a trip to London, jumped out of his car to demand "a go" on a workman's pneumatic drill. After getting the go-ahead, happily pounded the pavement to the amusement of shoppers.
4) On first meeting with Lazio's president to discuss his big-money move to the Italian club, was quick to tell the esteemed gentleman that he reminded him of Bud Abbot.
5) Organisers of Italia 90 TV coverage had the splendid idea of augmenting team line-ups with film of each player mouthing his own name. Gascoigne's genius led him to subvert the process by, instead, mouthing 'Fucking Wanker'. The BBC had to use it all the way through the tournament.
6) Booked a series of sun-bed sessions for then-Newcastle team-mate Tony Cunningham. Who, of course, is black.
7) Asked by a Norwegian camera crew if he had a message for England's upcoming opponents, immediately responded with, "Yes. Fuck off Norway." Then ran off laughing.
8) Turned up for England training the morning after then-manager Bobby Robson had called him "daft as a brush" with a floor brush sticking out of his sock.
9) When asked for a footballing comment while at Lazio, burped enthusiastically into a TV microphone. He was fined £39,000.
10) Decided it would be a great idea to have massive hair extensions. Looked a fool and had them taken out a day later.
11) After paying for ex-wife Sheryl's breasts implants, sent flowers to the hospital after the operation addressed to 'Dolly Parton'.
12) Astounded commuters in London by jumping on a double-decker in London's Piccadilly Circus and asking if he could have a drive. The bus driver said yes, and the passengers thoroughly enjoyed Gazza's impromptu performance.
13) Sent a rose to the Wimbledon dressing room for Vinnie Jones after the infamous ball-squeezing incident. Got a toilet brush in return.
14) Set up best mate Jimmy 'Five Bellies' Gardner with a 'girl' he knew to be a transvestite.
15) Has taken the piss out of refs constantly during his career. On one occasion he sniffed a hapless ref's armpit while he was holding his hand high to signal a free kick.
16) Undeterred by their frosty reactions, Gazza again tried to prove that refs have a sense of humour by yellow-carding the referee after the official had dropped his card during a Rangers v Hibs game. He was booked for his troubles.
17) While attempting to deflect the 'kebab controversy' which spelled the beginning of the end of his England career, assured reporters that his doner-munching antics following Middlesbrough's promotion to the Premiership would in no way affect his fitness before France 98. One reporter asked: "What do you feel like now?" Back came the inevitable response: "I feel like a kebab with onions."
18) As an apprentice desperate to impress then-Newcastle boss Jack Charlton, spent a week's money on fishing gear and begged the famous angler to give him a lesson. On arrival at the riverbank, Charlton promptly threw all but the rod out into the briny, then poured a bottle of Newcastle Brown into the water, dipped in the rod and within seconds was pulling out a whopper. Lesson over.
19) As 'perk' of boot-cleaning duties during his apprenticeship, took Kevin Keegan's Golas home to show his mates. But left them on the Newcastle Underground.
21) His attempt to jet off to Libya with Middlesbrough for a post-season tour was hampered by the fact he'd left his passport at home. An emotional Gazza wept at the check-in desk until a minion was despatched to bring it to the airport.
22) Celebrated his new-found hero status after flying home from Italia 90 by wearing a huge pair of fake plastic boobs and stomach bearing the legend 'Gazza'.
23) On meeting the president of Denmark's FA, pretended he could speak Danish. When invited to demonstrate, imitated The Muppet Show's Swedish Chef.
24) Conned Five Bellies into eating a mince pie after he'd scraped out the filling and replaced it with cat excrement.
25) Walked into the Middlesbrough canteen wearing nothing but his training socks and ordered lunch.
26) Paid £320 for a Mars Bar in a newsagents in his home town of Dunston, then told the shop owner to spend the change on sweets for local kids.
27) Whilst dining in the prestigious Bedford Arms Hotel in Woburn with a few of his Geordie mates, decided to place his erect member on the shoulder of a diner at the next table. Thinking someone had tapped him on the shoulder the gentleman turned his head only to have Gazza's helmet prod him in the cheek.
28) Took a documentary team to a beautiful Scottish cottage which he informed them was his new place, pretended he'd forgotten his key and knocked instead. When the door opened, told the befuddled housewife inside that he was doing a telly advert and wanted to know if she preferred Daz or Omo.
29) Crashed Middlesbrough's team bus at the club's training ground and caused £310,000 worth of damage.
30) While at Rangers, urinated over sleeping team-mate Richard Gough.
>>69521369
was gazza the king of banter?
31) Handed £1000 over to Jimmy Five Bellies after betting that the burly boozer couldn't withstand a cigarette lighter's heat on the bridge of his nose for five seconds. Jimmy could. Twice.
32) After briefly giving up drinking, was advised to find a new interest. Picked bingo.
33) Bought a £1000 robot and programmed it to travel into Jimmy Five Bellies' room at Gazza Towers and announce: "Make a cup of tea, fat man."
34) Stuck his tongue out when the TV cameras panned past him during the national anthem at Italia 90.
35) Prepared for England matches during that hugely important tournament by playing marathon games of tennis in the scorching midday sun.
36) Thought it would be appropriate to wear a blue fright wig before the 1991 FA Cup Final.
37) In his time, has agreed to dress as a Roman centurion, a clown, Oliver Hardy and Braveheart for 'photo opportunities'.
38) While his Italia 90 team-mate was the hero of Hillsborough, marched into a Sheffield barbers and demanded "a Waddle cut".
39) When Gazza signed for Spurs in 1988, he came down to finalise the deal with a bunch of his Geordie mates. They took over the posh hotel in Hadley Wood where Spurs were footing the bill and wreaked havoc. Gazza met then-chairman Irving Scholar and began talks by saying, "We'd like to thank you for the best three days of our lives."
40) Asked to leave West Lodge Park Hotel in London after guests were treated to the sight of a naked Five Bellies swimming across the duck pond.
41) On his first night in Rome after signing for Lazio, gave his minder the slip, put his shoes by an open window and hid in a cupboard. The minder thought he'd committed suicide.
42) Recorded a video message for a corporate party and signed off with a cheery "Happy Christmas, you fucking wankers".
43) Greeted reporters in Rome by standing up, asking for silence, then farting at ear-splitting volume.
44) Told an interviewer that he was so superstitious about the number 13 that he couldn't ever bear to see the numbers 4 and 9 together. Oddly, the combination of 5 and 8 was deemed OK.
45) Shredded England team-mate Dennis Wise's Armani suit "for a laugh".
46) While staying at a Scottish hotel, drove across its golf course in his four-wheel drive Jeep.
47) While reputation preceded him in Italy, the English language did not. Hence, his Lazio debut was marked by a banner which read: 'Gazza's Boys, We Are Here. Shake Your Women And Drink Your Beer'.
48) Conversely, rival Italian supporters once hailed him with a banner which stated bluntly: 'Paul Gazza, You Are Fat Poofta'.
49) After being sent off while playing for Lazio, shook hands with virtually every member of the Genoa side.
50) While staying in a New Zealand hotel, was told there was no bacon for breakfast. Replied, "What, all the sheep in this country and there's no bloody bacon!"
>>69521369
>Asked by a Norwegian camera crew if he had a message for England's upcoming opponents, immediately responded with, "Yes. Fuck off Norway." Then ran off laughing
Gooble gobble, one of us!
>Booked a series of sun-bed sessions for then-Newcastle team-mate Tony Cunningham. Who, of course, is black.
>Asked by a Norwegian camera crew if he had a message for England's upcoming opponents, immediately responded with, "Yes. Fuck off Norway." Then ran off laughing.
>Set up best mate Jimmy 'Five Bellies' Gardner with a 'girl' he knew to be a transvestite.
>On meeting the president of Denmark's FA, pretended he could speak Danish. When invited to demonstrate, imitated The Muppet Show's Swedish Chef.
>Conned Five Bellies into eating a mince pie after he'd scraped out the filling and replaced it with cat excrement.
>Whilst dining in the prestigious Bedford Arms Hotel in Woburn with a few of his Geordie mates, decided to place his erect member on the shoulder of a diner at the next table. Thinking someone had tapped him on the shoulder the gentleman turned his head only to have Gazza's helmet prod him in the cheek.
>Recorded a video message for a corporate party and signed off with a cheery "Happy Christmas, you fucking wankers".
>While staying in a New Zealand hotel, was told there was no bacon for breakfast. Replied, "What, all the sheep in this country and there's no bloody bacon!"
>>69497373
>you Moorish skidmark
Addicts are the fucking worst. Alcohol, benzos, opioids. Everything that you can legally get but still fuck you up. Their all a bunch of lying sacks of shit that will ring the fucking alarm fifty times during the night begging for a fucking Sobril or Valium while I'm in the other room making sure a dehydrated patient is getting some IV fluids and and then moving to another room giving a dying cancer patients morphine for the fucking PAIN OF HIS THROAT CANCER!
>WAAAAH I CAN*T FALL ASLEEP BECAUSE I'M A STUPID SHIT WHO HAS BEEN ON PILLS FOR MY """ANXIETY""" FOR FIFTY YEARS
Addicts are scum and a scourge of humanity and we need to just euthanize them already. Fucking cunts. Overdose will come soon.
>>69488322
>Except he was, and still is, a massive pisshead.
Why did you repeat yourself? You already said he's English.
>>69501190
Irish aren't humans.
Have you ever hand-dug a hole?
>>69522358
Are you a male nurse?
>>69522358
10/10. Agreed
>>69522532
Maybe.
Are you the police?
>>69522558
N-No...
I wish you were a female nurse though ;_;
t. sub
>>69520652
Shitty youtube link:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jXf7UU5xEog&t=28m7s
Actual words were 'I wanna fight the tablet'
>>69523172
Danke
>>69521369
He used to turn up for training at Middlesbrough in fancy dress; scuba gear, Crown outfit, Darth Vader costume.
>>69522358
>Addicts are scum and a scourge of humanity and we need to just euthanize them already. Fucking cunts.
You'd probably like the new Phillippines president
>>69501526
>>69501554
I think it'll show up sooner or later. Was the same with Britney Spears
>>69488715
There's also a brewery at the back of the County Ground.
Man i miss Nottingham
>>69508227
>But yesterday, I was travelling to see the streets and I walked past a store. Some drunk smelling man came out- he has his dressing gown, just like Gazza, and he shouted into the shop 'YOU FUCKIN CUNT, YOU FUCKIN CUNT, YOU POLISH BASTARD I'LL BE BACK FOR MY MARS' like a football chant. Then as he walked past he said to me (and I smelt his breath) 'listen up mate theres a polish mars bar thievin bastard in there.... gets his caramel from merkels ass' then walked off
This seems to happen in every town lol. What is happeneing?
underrated
>>69521369
>>69521388
>>69521410
>>69521427
>>69521443
Jesus Christ that fucking banter
>>69521410
>Conned Five Bellies into eating a mince pie after he'd scraped out the filling and replaced it with cat excrement.
You know how bad cat shit stinks? I can't imagine he wouldn't notice
