>be burger who likes soccer
>listen to sports radio at work
>caller calls into the local station asking about Euros
>hosts start laughing and making fun of him
>they dont even know who is playing in the finals
Why are Americans so afraid of soccer
Because it's not a sport you can buy titles spamming money, see PSG
>be burger who likes soccer
wew lad, if we wanted to know that we'd read in >>>/r9k/
>listen to sports radio at work
There is your mistake.
Except for The Ticket in Dallas (which is basically /sp/ sports radio), all of sports radio is extremely pleb tier.
>>69377442
this
>>69377410
>soccer
its called "football".
>>69377410
Radio personalities think it's funny and American to be ignorant about soccer which pisses me off and I'm not even a soccerfag
>>69377494
WFAN in nyc only talks about fucking boreball
98.7 ESPN has some bro tier banter and its funny sometimes but 5 minute-long commercial breaks every 20 mins are fucking killing me
help
>thinking something is utter shit = being afraid of
Do you also think that homophobes are actually scared of fags?
>>69377410
Where do you live that you have such shitty sports radio?
>>69377543
This, but both sides of the spectrum are annoying as fuck
>DUDE, seriously? You don't like soccer? Heh, guess you're just not as worldly and cultured as me
>DUDE soccer's for fags!! lmao I don't even know where these countries are, look at how American I am!! XD
>>69377627
>DUDE soccer's for fags!!
But that's correct.
>>69377517
>0-0ball
Ftfy
because you people are insecure beta cuckbois
They're pretty nice about it where I live. Most don't watch, but they won't give anyone shit about it.
>>69377649
This
>>69377410
>tfw no one to talk football with
>tfw everyone thinks I'm talking about the NFL
I just want someone to watch association football with, but there's no one :/
>>69377577
NYC area see
>>69377545
because it's a sport for fags and americans are extremely insecure about their sexuality
>>69377410
Because you don't get to participate in the major tournaments such as the europa league and championship league.
>>69377442
The only sport you can buy titles in here is baseball and even that doesn't work. (See Dodgers, current yankees, cubes)
>>69377564
In a sense. They are afraid of homosexuals becoming the majority or influencing their kid. I'm afraid that of i put my kid in soccer that he will play it for more than 3 seasons
>>69377410
how do we fix soccer?
Try being someone who actually enjoys some boreball here.
>>69377545
Go to theticket.com and stream it. Although you might have to wait a week or so for the funny to being, as all they are talking about now is the police shootings.
>>69377792
I just think soccer is a boring ass faggot game for people with low IQ, I'm not "afraid" of it.
>>69377797
>retroactive red cards for diving
>retroactive reminding of yellow cards given in mistake
>shots off the woodwork and out are corner kicks instead of goal kicks
>>69377797
Abolish it.
>>69377727
find local irish pub. theyre delusional as fuck about man united/liverpool but mostly fun to drink with
Because timezones I guess?
>>69377819
what is baseball then?
>>69377934
Boring ass game for people with high IQ.
>calling in to the radio about soccer
>caring that most people dont like soccer
I like divegrass but fuck that guy and fuck you.
I want to follow soccer more but apparently American sucks dick at it so its hard to get into because no team to root for. I just watch whatever big games /sp/ spams on the front page here and there. Also any game to see Messi because everyone outside of the US can't shut up about him.
Why are burgers so burger?
>>69378008
>I follow a sport because all the cool kids on /sp/ do
Epitome of a cuckold
>>69378008
Wait for the BPL season to start in mid-August
NBCSports does a great job of covering the season and they show every match live (some might only be online but still)
They also have the Men in Blazers podcasts which is funny and very indepth and American oriented
Other than that, listen to podcasts from the UK and read football articles from UK websites
>>69377564
Homophobes are scared that they are secretly gay, yeah.
>>69378008
>I want to follow soccer more but apparently American sucks dick at it
We're not bad desu, we usually do fairly well at the World Cup
>>69378032
I enjoy watching it tho. It's just I never really got into it like I did with baseball and football since I grew up on those since they're super mainstream here.
>>69378008
We aren't bad at it, we're just not elite at it.
The USA is the equivalent of Boise St. or Gonzaga...some overachieving mid-level team that does really well but probably won't win it all.
>>69378106
Well I honestly never watched baseball in a serious manner until like 4 years ago and it sucked me in instantly.
>>69377819
kids soccer games are pretty fucking horrible
>>69378130
Hurr State actually isn't a bad comparison. Too bad the US don't have their Oklahoma game, which is how Boise St got famous to begin with.
>>69377442
But PSG wins all national titles.
>>69377442
what, NFL, NBA and NHL literally have salary caps. Half the time a team wins a championship, especially in the NHL lately they have to blow up the team because they're now worth too much and over the limit
buying titles used to be a common thing in MLB, just see the yankees, but not at all anymore
meanwhile all the champions of european soccer are the richest teams just buying them, other than the occasional leicester meme
>>69377410
Insecure because they are SHIT.
>>69378160
yes we do.
https://www.youtube.co/watch?v=7ZHAa89uEYU
it's a perfect analogy, too, because the confed cup is like a BCS game that's not the championship.
>>69377442
Actually most of our sports are way more socialist than your soccer. We have a salary cap that limits the amount of money each team can spend on salaries and the draft ensures the shittiest teams gets a chance to pick the best player.
So we aren't "spamming money to win titles." That would be the likes of Chelsea, Man Utd, Real Madrid and Barcelona.
not enough commercials
Doesn't seem like a sport I can eat to tbhfam.
>>69378209
whoops here's the right link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ZHAa89uEYU
>>69378193
>champions of european soccer are the richest teams
Some of these teams are around for 100+ years. Their wealth is deserved. Having a sugar daddy from Oil Land is the exception, and works dubiously.
Are you advocating literal socialism? Free market is bad and you've got to put a ceiling preventing companies to get too rich?
>>69378208
I think it's a circle honestly. Americans are shit at soccer because they don't care about it, and they don't care about it because they're shit at it.
>>69378242
It is. You simply must avoid leaving the room too often since a game-changing event can happen anytime.
>>69378326
>Americans are shit at soccer because they don't care about it
Yes.
>and they don't care about it because they're shit at it
No. Wrong mentality. African countries, South American countries are almost all terrible, yet they care.
Americans don't care because they don't play seriously the game (in the street, etc).
>>69378299
that's why MLB is the best, can't buy championships even if you try
Also a longer history than any european soccer leagues
>>69378326
yea this, even tho i would say we are more average than shit. canada is shit.
>>69378218
your entire shitty sport is just one giant commercial
>>69377494
97.5 The Fanatic, Philly's First FM Sports Station
Mike Missanelli is my nigga. He spends as much time talking about movies, TV shows, and food as he does about sports
>>69377689
>F0-0TBALL
ftfy
>>69378299
The "socialist" model works well for us. The league ensures parity when it comes to winning and that way they can make more money. No American is going to care about a perennial loser team (Browns fans are the exception).
It's a different business model. In Yuro soccer, the clubs are just members of the Football Association that manages the league, while in NFL for example, the teams ARE the league. They are quite literally a cartel.
>>69378403
>African countries, South American countries are almost all terrible, yet they care.
We have a mentality that makes us care only about the winners. You might call us bandwagoners if you want to, but that's the way it is. We aren't like the English small town fans who devotedly watch their FC Shittybottoms play in the 4th league in a crumbling stadium.
>>69378483
Speak for yourself cunt
t. Jacksonville Jaguars and University of Florida season ticket holder
>>69378522
>University of Florida
Is this b8? See pic.
Although now that you mention it I'd make an exception for college teams because they are mostly watched by either students or people from their general area, that's probably the closest we can get to Yuropoor soccer fanbases. But the NFL or the NBA are a completely different thing.
>>69378572
>I'd make an exception for college teams because they are mostly watched by either students or people from their general area
That's why College Football is the GOAT American game which will always be better than NFL
>NBA
>Not shit
Also UF has been shit ever since
>>69378218
>not enough commercials
>billboards for jerseys
The Fly Emirates of Madrid is my favorite teams.
>>69378609
>Also UF has been shit ever since
UF still has a much higher chance of winning the natty than most Euro teams have of winning their highest league. I mean they played in the SECCG last year for fuck's sake, that's not being total shit.
Now imagine fans of some shithouse English teams like Millwall or Derby not just assuming but KNOWING their team won't win the Premiership during their lifetime.
>That's why College Football is the GOAT American game which will always be better than NFL
Can't say I disagree.
>>69377442
PSG win the title every year m80
>>69377442
>Literally the same 2 teams win La Liga every year
>Literally the same team wins Bundesliga every year
>Literally the same team win 4 teams win Ligue 1 every year
>Literally the same 1 team wins Serie A every year
Nice parity
>>69378752
It's even more comical in countries like Turkey and Russia which have 2-3 billionaire clubs competing every year and the rest are literal whos.
>>69378752
>>69378787
Scottish league is an even bigger joke, the last time a team not named Celtic or Rangers won it was literally 31 years ago.
>>69378787
Actually, we have only one rich club. But they still suck ass, despite the monies.
>>69378826
The NBA isn't much better
>>69378826
Compare to college football:
06 - Florida
07 - LSU
08 - Florida
09 - ALABAMA
10 - Auburn
11 - ALABAMA
12 - ALABAMA
13 - FSU
14 - Ohio State
15 - ALABAMA
16 - ?
8 of 10 from Florida or Alabama
8 of 10 from SEC (6 of 10 from SEC West)
>>69377410
>be burger who likes soccer
Fuck off
You faggots are literally insufferable, both on this website and in real life.
Americans will NEVER give a shit about this semen slurping """"sport""""
You people are like the sports equivalent of those faggots who bring up how europeans do things when talking about politics.
>>69377442
AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
>>69378995
NBA winners since 2000:
Lakers
Spurs
Pistons
Heat
Celtics
Mavs
Warriors
Cavs
Scottish soccer in the same period:
Rangers
Celtic
>>69379093
No we're not
We just mind our own business and have to wade through torrents of shitposts from both yuropoors and you shitlords just because we want our nation to succeed in soccer.
We literally dindu noffin
>>69379093
This, you can't call soccer a sport unless every goal is awarded with multiple points and someone scores every 2 minutes.
Now excuse me, I have to take my daily dose of adderall
>>69379228
>we want our nation to succeed in soccer
That's why talking about soccer is so fucking retarded. Because this will never happen.
We will never be good at soccer because no one gives enough of a shit about soccer to bring kids up thinking that playing professional soccer is even an option.
Soccer will forever be that sport that you played when you were 10 and that sport that girls play until they finish school.
>>69379287
Hockey has rules very similar to soccer (two teams, each have a goal and a goalie, you have to shoot something into the net and it counts as 1 point), yet it has a decent enough following while soccer does not. Why? Because it's not fucking boring.
>>69379287
>someone scores every 2 minutes
What popular American sport besides basketball does this happen?
The big four are football, baseball, basketball, and hockey.
It only happens in one of them.
>>69378826
LIFE LONG
>>69379192
>comparing Scottish soccer (5 million people, not even an independent country) with the whole NBA
Better compare with the Champions League, bru
>>69379299
Fuck off
You called us insufferable but we're not the aggressors.
We don't incessantly shitpost on /hoc/ or /nba/ or /mlb/ or on any related threads
just fuck off, you insecure faggot
>>69379192
LeBron in the Finals:
2007 - LEBRON vs SPURS
2008 - Kobe
2009 - Kobe
2010 - Kobe
2011 - LEBRON
2012 - LEBRON v Durant (now on Warriors)
2013 - LEBRON v SPURS
2014 - LEBRON v SPURS
2015 - LEBRON v Warriors
2016 - LEBRON v Warriors
>>69379577
>Lebron is a team now
This is why NBA fans are fucking retards.
>>69379030
>College Handegg
In all seriousness though, College Handegg is faster pace than Pro Handegg, Less commercial and more actual gameplay.
>>69379335
Hockey is 5 v 5 with a goalie for each tesm. Would be like 5 v 5 soccer on a smaller field. Guys like Ronaldo would be actually exciting to watch in a 5 v 5 match because it would make it hard for him to disappear like he does so much
>>69379750
>Would be like 5 v 5 soccer on a smaller field
That already exists, it's called Futsal and it's pretty good 2bh
>>69379750
Tbh the length and width of soccer field is completely hurting the sport. If we made it smaller it would prop up more technical players who can operate in a smaller space and it would ensure the defenders aren't just standing around and scratching their balls if the action is happening on the other side of the field.
>>69379335
come on now, hockey does not have a "decent enough following"
>>69377783
They Participate in the CONCACAF Champions League, which should be renamed the Mexican Super Cup or something since NO MLS Team has won a Champions League Title since 2000.
FFS The AFC Champions League has more Diversity between winners..
>AFC Champions League Winners by Year.
www.worldfootball.netafc-champions-league/
.
>CONCACAF Champions League Winners by Year
http://www.worldfootball.net/winner/concacaf-champions-league/
>>69377410
Americans have been brainwashed for decades into thinking football is "Unamerican" and "commie" so they would continue putting their money into US sports, which are better designed for advertising.
But maybe the increasing number of Mexicans/Latinos in the US will force American media to start paying more attention to the world's by far biggest sport.
>>69379842
Yes it actually does unless you're some beaner living in California or a nigger from the south. Boston, NYC, Chicago, Detroit, Philadelphia, those are all huge cities that care about hockey. It's pretty big in the midwest and the east coast.
>>69379877
I just saw that the US only has two teams that have one it, in '98 and 2000
That's on par with how many Trinidad and Tobago have..They also won 2.
FFS El Salvador has 3.
>>69379888
Making shit up: the post. Soccer was never associated with the Russians or communism.
>>69379888
I doubt it. Americans like being "Unique", also known as Speshals, and making up their own shit and defending it because not doing so is unpatriotic.
I hate baseball, my friends say I'm not american because i should like "America's Favorite Passtime." Yeah, I'll just pass the time asleep, just how I passed the time at every fucking baseball game I've ever been to.
>>69377442
*RETARD ALERT*
>>69377410
.
serrves him right for being unAmerican
>>69379287
>>69379342
The NFL does it too if you don't count the Several Terabytes worth of Commercials stopping the game every 2 seconds and only count the In-Game Clock.
>>69377442
>richest team literally just won the CL
kek
KEK
>>69377410
because you're shit at it
if Pulisic can carry your NT on his shoulder you may have a chance to be relevant but right now you're kind of joke
I read an article in which the author claimed you could win the WC, that's insane
>>69377689
>>69378481
>It was an exiting (((0 - 0))) tie
>>69377442
fuck you
I don't know,but if you guys put the effort and money like you do in football (american),basketball,baseball,hockey,etc.
You would have the best league in the world
>>69379954
Lol, are you serious?
https://www.aei.org/publication/soccer-is-a-socialist-sport/
http://newsbusters.org/blogs/nb/matt-philbin/2010/06/09/media-make-selling-soccer-goal
http://sites.duke.edu/wcwp/research-projects/football-and-politics-in-europe-1930s-1950s/communism/
I literally wrote a paper that partly dealt with this topic back at uni
It was mostly a thing in the 70s, when football grew a bit stronger in the US and the biggest established US sports leagues became scared and started a smear campaign against the new competitor deeming it an "anti-American" sport.
Now communism isn't really working anymore as a scare tactic, but as you can see Americans still have that false notion implanted in their head.
And who knows, maybe the NFL, NBA etc. are still secretely behind a more subtle anti-football campaign in the US nowadays.
>>69377797
Just make the field smaller
There is literally no reason for the field to be as big as it is.
Just shortening it by 20 yards could significantly decrease the amount of goaless shitfests.
It would also increase the emphasis on tactics for opening space up along with tekkers.
>>69380198
they don't have any passion for the game and they don't understand it
I watched the NCAA finals once, it was so dreadful I thought it was female soccer
I called a local radio station drunk as fuck to rant about Blatter and they turned me into an intro meme.
>>69379798
What you want exists, it's called futsal
>>69380256
> shit at the game
> need to change the rules to be relevant
stick to handegg and baseball
>>69380291
post link if true
American soccer fans need to stop giving a crud what others think of them
>>69380225
>Think about it. Soccer is the only sport in the world where you cannot use the one tool that distinguishes man from beast: opposable thumbs. “No hands” is a rule only a European statist could love.
this is pure, unadulterated garbage. did you actually read the articles? non-thinking ape men wrote them.
>>69378826
>6 winners in 6 years
Based France, not even America has that level of parity
>>69380334
>non-thinking ape men wrote them
I believe the politically correct term for them is "American"
>>69377410
Radio tends to be the bastion of low-technology, anti-progress conservatives. This is true of all things, whether politics, music or sports. It's a medium that is both antiquated and free.
In the case of soccer, being anti-soccer is merely virtue signalling for older conservatives who still view soccer as for "fags" and "communists."
>>69377797
ROBO-REFS
MULTIBALL
OVAL PITCH
NO OUT-OF-BOUNDS
>>69379335
I'd bet my farm on Soccer having a bigger American following than Hockey bruv
>>69380388
du bist schuld zum Zitieren
>>69379030
college is where programs are better than players, Alabama and Ohio state always win 10 games because their programs and coaching are elite, besides, it's still fun to watch because its not really about the championship
>>69380304
No idea how to track it down. It was when the charges against him for misconduct were first filed. There is an afternoon drive show in Milwaukee with 4 guys and one guy likes soccer. So they pick three topics and let people call in to "pick a lane" and one guy fought and fought to have soccer be one of the topics. At this point I felt obliged to call in because I support soccer as a sport.
I drunkenly call in and rant about how we sent Bill Clinton and Morgan Freeman and still lost the World Cup to Qatar. At this point the hosts are all laughing. Then I said, "Sepp Blatter, we're coming for you...under the RICO act." So I hung up at that point, and because of the delay I hear just the end of my call and the hosts laughing and muting themselves for quite awhile. They start using my "we're coming for you" sound bite occasionally the rest of the summer.
>>69379577
compare to Manning/Brady in the Super Bowl:
*2003 - BRADY
*2004 - BRADY
2005 - Big Ben
*2006 - MANNING
*2007 - BRADY vs Eli
2008 - Big Ben (Brady OUT for season)
*2009 - MANNING
2010 - Big Ben
*2011 - BRADY v Eli
2012 - (Harbaugh v Harbaugh)
*2013 - MANNING
*2014 - BRADY
*2015 - MANNING
>>69380486
>google translate
je ne comprends pas
>>69380446
Yeah. Hockey's highest avg. attendance in '15-'16 was Chicago at 21,859. There are 5 MLS teams that had higher average attendances than that in in 2015. All in all, MLS average attendance was higher than the NHL.
Of course, this isn't quite an apples to apples comparison, because the NHL is the best hockey league in the world, and the MLS is probably around 12th. So if you add in the number of soccer fans who follow the Premier League or La Liga (or, lets be honest, the Chicanos who follow Liga MX), then there is clearly more Americans who follow soccer than hockey.
Of course, TV doesn't lie. There's a reason why it's hell of a lot easier to find soccer on TV than it is to find hockey.
>>69380225
The most hilarious irony of this is that most American sports (barring sweet, sweet American baseball) utilize salary caps, talent drafts (i.e. team welfare), shared profits, closed leagues and other methods of organization that are MASSIVELY socialist in their nature and application. And communism-hating American fans laud this socialist engineering as great because it promotes "fair play" and "league parity."
Watching Barca and Real Madrid use their financial leverage to dominate La Liga is as fucking capitalist as it gets.
>>69378672
http://www.nfl.com/superbowl/50/commercials
http://www.superbowlcommercials2016.org/
http://www.usatoday.com/story/money/2016/02/09/12-super-bowl-commercials-you-need-watch-again/80083462/
http://time.com/3685708/super-bowl-ads-vw-the-force/
>The Ad That Changed Super Bowl Commercials Forever
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/arts-and-entertainment/wp/2016/02/08/the-10-best-commercials-of-super-bowl-50/
and so on
>>69379904
This tbqh why do you think New Jersey lost their basketball team and not their hockey team.
>>69380385
Stan Lee Cup winners from 2003-2012
03: New Jersey Devils
04: Tampa Bay Lightning
05: no winner because Gary jewed us
06: Caolina Hurricanes
07: Anahiem Ducks
08: Detroit Red Wings
09: Pittsburgh Penguins
10: Chicago Blackhawks
11: Boston Bruins
12: Los Angeles Kings
>>69380334
Author forgets about volleyball, a sport invented in America. There is no grasping or gripping of the ball allowed, and the whole point of opposable thumbs being important is bc it gives you the ability to grasp and grip objects.
>>69380991
BASED
A
S
E
D
>>69380991
>Best memes
>Best teams
>>69377442
Soccer's not a bad sport but I'm confused as to why you believe we should give a single fuck about Eurosport.
>>69378130
please someone post the webm version of this
>>69378216
>That would be the likes of Chelsea, Man Utd, Real Madrid and Barcelona.
You're right about Chelsea, Man Utd
But Barcelona and Real pretty much only rely on their supporters and associates
they don't have money thrown at them by shareholders or some russian oligarch/oil sheik
>>69377545
WFAN caters to New Yorkers that literally remember Lou Gherig's retirement speech.
Does anyone have Sirius XM? Is there a sports station that talks soccer and other european sports (I ask this as a Euro living in the US, not a euroboo)?
that fat fuck Ben Maller drones on about the Clippers and Johnnie Manziel and other shit nobody cares about
>>69377442
American sport leagues have rules that intentionally make it hard to have dynasties. How dumb are you exactly?
>>69389373
Why are you plugging your own show here, Ben ?
>Cowboy from Windsor in 15 secs.....
American here.
I can watch soccer casually and respect the athleticism. i even played in my youth for about 7 years, always as keeper.
Its just when guys go down and pretend to tear their ACL and grieve in fake pain. Thats why we don't like your sport.
Guys might flop in basketball, but they don't grimace (i hate fucking watching varejo play)
And obviously no one tries to persuade refs for fouls by pretending to be injured in baseball, basketball, hockey. Nah, cause they get up and stay foccused on their game.
Its just "bitch shit" and it makes your sport look like a bunch of pussy, fags
>>69389201
85 on Siriusxm is soccer
>>69377789
>Last year NFL champion Denver Broncos cheated their salary cap
>Implying any sports from America cannot be bought
>>69390017
Really makes you think.
>>69377564
Most vocal homophobes are closeted gays
>>69380991
Random generated numbers: the live action game
>>69380049
If meme teams like Wales and Iceland can make a deep run in the so called prestigious Euros then us reaching a semifinal (which is our primary goal, of course we want to win a wc but we're not that delusional) isnt that big of a stretch
>>69383145
It's fun to banter with other countries. Idk how most people here dont get tired of manufactured city or state rivalries in our jewish controlled leagues.
>>69377442
Nice bait. Jealous of all your (You)s
>>69390480
And most racists are closeted niggers :^)
>>69377797
Stop the clock during stoppage in play
Completely eliminates faking injuries
>>69377410
Because they like nigger sports
>>69377410
>no instant replay
>diving faggotry not punished but actually rewarded
Those are two very easy reasons
>>69396610
>no instant replay
What the fuck
Diving is cancer, though.
its a shit sport
>>69377410
>who likes soccer
lmfao, faggot
I actually like watching soccer tournaments. I only casually follow the EPL and Bundesliga though. I try to watch every Stoke City game. I don't know why I like Stoke City but I do. Always play with them in FIFA too.
>they still have talk radio programmes that people actually bother calling in to
this is what surprises me the most tbqh
>>69378171
>implying Ligue 1 is a relevant league
>>69405128
Calling in to Mike Francesa is fun. It's so easy to troll him. It's funny when he gets angry and his long island accent comes through.
because amerilards are rretards.
>>69405345
A majority of us just don't have the attention spans. It's why handegg is so popular here. Blame the niggers and rednecks.
