PENALDO GENERAL
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You are currently reading a thread in /sp/ - Sports
Defend this insufferable excuse of a footballer.
>>69108627
Is he kill?
Why would anybody defend him?
>>69108627
He grew up in a poor, forgotten island off the coast of a decaying empire.
Maria, his mother, tried to abort him.
José, his father, was an alcoholic.
Hugo, his brother, also ended up being an alcoholic.
His only real company was the ball.
He would play with that ball all day, hoping to some day get the acknowledgement life had denied him since birth.
One day a scout noticed his talent and off he went to the big metropolis.
Lonely, he would often cry all night, telling himself to be strong and to keep practicing.
'It will get better, Cristiano. It will get better'.
Gradually he began to perfect his technique and gain the attention of more people.
Girls would notice his good looks and fame and he thought that the day he would be loved and accepted had arrived.
But all the girls ended up being nothing more than gold diggers and he realized he was lonely once again.
Eventually his ability gifted him a flight to England, to play in one of the biggest clubs in the sport.
There he gained the admiration of the entire world and his hopes began to resurface.
But the media, thirsty for conflict, began to compare him to other players.
They began to characterize him as a douchbag, as arrogant, as materialistic, as someone to be hated and despised.
In fact, all he has ever wanted is to end the cruel and unjust solitude life trapped him in.
And to this day, he is still alone.
>struggles immensely
>takes up the first penalty
>doesn't crumble like an autistic black manlet
>TSUUUUU's Portsugal to the semi-finals with the power of meme magic
Messhit poopers are absolutely shitting themselves
>>69109494
The guy paid off some golddigger he fugged to give him his kid and so that she'd fuck off forever. If you've ever seen any interaction between him and the kid, you'd see that he absolutely loves him, it's everything in the world to him.
I'm not so sure he feels lonely anymore. At the very least, he feels truly happy when he's with his son. And that's something most people can't say.
>>69108627
if anyone could defend him he wouldnt be scoring 50 goals a season
>>69109494
He does seem like a lonely person. Come to think of it, most Portuguese players seem to be depressing cunts, maybe it's the saudade speaking.
RONALDOES WHAT MESSI DON'T.
I think this is what would Ronaldo would look like if you made him good-looking (make his face handsome, his body attractive, his skin tone more white, etc)
>>69109614
He only scores against shit teams that the dream team he is on completely dominates. When playing competitive teams, Ronaldo gets shut down
>>69109802
He's actually whiter than it seems, but he's constantly tanned with treatments and shit. If you go look at old MU and Sporting footage, he looks much whiter than these days. He just likes being tanned, for some gay reason.
>>69109890
Because everyone looks better with a tan than pale?
I fucking hate his constant diving and filming. Football should really allow more physicality so southern diving soft cunts like him could be weeded out of the sport.
>Someone barely touched me with his finger
>better to act like I just suffered a spinal cord injury
>>69109914
That's called an opinion, anon. I personally prefer my skin pale and not tanned. Also makes you age faster if you're constantly getting tanned or sunburns.
Most nordics will agree that tanned skin looks bad, while most southern people will say tanned skin looks better, but in the end, it's personal preference.
>>69109872
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AKrZjiWoOuM
Malmo is the only shit team there, Wolfsburg was just mediocre
>>69109982
Personal preference is where my sperm lands when I cum, people objectively look better with a tan. You probably look like shit pale. Nordic people also look better with a tan, and by a tan I mean a natural tan, not the fake spray stuff.
