ITT: we fix soccer
>45 second shotclock
>no offsides
>slightly smaller fields for more action
hockey style line changes would fix the tempo problem imo
apes, hoops, easy.
>>68927750
Start for calling it football, you barbarian.
Clock stops when there's a foul or the ball is out of bounds.
5 subs
Each team could challenge a call once per half.
>>68927822
yo shuddup
multiball
>no offsides
>allow fighting
>unlimited substitutions
>no shootouts
>red cards for flopping
>>68927842
dat boi? Dat u?
>>68927822
but its called povertyflop
how about
>no ties
the biggest improvement one could make to the public perception of the game itself
>>68927835
>clock stops
pls no. that's one of the few good things about soccer. I'd maybe split it into three 30-minute periods instead of 2 45-min halves.
>>68927861
>povertyflop
are you people just combining parts of the insults we've already invented? come on now.
>povertyball
>divegrass
how about
>tieflop
>sprintpass
>scorelesskick
yeah i'm runnning out of ideas
>>68927750
Get some skilleds players.
>>68927750
I think the ultimate fix for soccer would be to add 2 basketball-style rules where
1. there's a time limit for getting it over mid-field. if the team doesn't get it over midfield, it's a freekick from 10 yards in front of the center line for the other team.
2. Do not allow the ball to be passed back to the goalkeeper. that will result in a yellow card to the passer, but not a stoppage of play.
That would single handedly improve soccer ten-fold by facilitating more attack-minded plays and punishing possession-hogging.
all of these burguers thinking they know about futbol
>>68927750
in america;
call it a field, not a pitch
call them fans, not supporters
encourage fans to not chant stupid shit (i believe that we will win is fucking gay)
get rid of ties, motherfucker you play to win, not to not lose
>>68927925
>no 3rdworlddive
>>68928011
We're improving it. It what we do
>>68928011
youre just mad because youre not white
Honestly just start to penalize and fine players that flop and it's a perfect game. This is coming from someone that doesn't watch soccer outside of national tournaments, but I'm waiting for a South Florida MLS team.
They definitely need to grant each manager one challenge call per game.
Allow tackling like in rugby. Imagine some effete Yurosemen casually kicking the ball up the field when BAM he gets blindsided and KTFO cold. That shit would be fucking hilarious.
>>68927750
that already [spoiler]kinda[/spoiler] exist you ameridum
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fHAjlX2ypJU
>>68927863
>no ties
>neither team deserves to win
>let's give the three points to a random team then
>this is somehow fair
ITT: We fix American architecture
1. Put planes in them
>>68928389
>coin tossing
What is this, 1974 again?
Red cards to obvious floppers. Columbia's game today was flat out disgusting
video review of all PK's/FK's near the box, same with goals. Fuck your pace of the game, this would easily get rid of half of all the bullshit/missed calls in games
give a clear fucking definition of what stoppage time will be instead of saying +5 then going to 5:48
force teams to make substitutions quickly instead of walking as slowly as possible off the field. Delay of game is way too common and I dont know why people are so accepting of it
there needs to be commercial breaks
like wtf soccer sometimes I need to take a leak or get some more snacks
If a game ends in a draw you murder a players family at random.
>>68928498
ouch dude
a few ideas off the top of my head:
1. less players and smaller field
2. adding walls
3. allow some space behind the goal
>>68928713
>2016
>not having DVR
Literally what is wrong with you?
>>68928801
Congratulations, you just invented ice hockey.
>>68927962
But why is 'possession hogging' something to be punished? Don't you think it's weird that every country in the world can watch Bayern Munich and Barcelona dominate possession and pass another team to death, with the one exception of America who sees a problem and considers mastering the game to be 'possession hogging.'
You can only 'hog' if the other team isn't good enough to recover the ball. That makes you better. This is not a bad thing.
Americans also seem obsessed with the attack and scoring elements of the game at the expense of all its other facets.
Passing back to the keeper for instance - so all of the best teams in the world that play out through the back and through midfield now get yellow cards for doing so?
Threads like these do little to help the global stereotype regarding Americans and low intelligence.
>>68928836
lmao dude you're actually taking these threads seriously
I heard you didn't like 0-0
So I scored some goals 4 u
>>68928851
Not at all, clearly the majority of suggestions are obviously dumb and not serious, but you always get some genuine suggestions of things that Muricans think will improve soccer but actually demonstrate a complete failure to understand the game at all.
Happens in every thread.
For example, 'punish possession hogging' is clearly a serious suggestion, because it's not funny at all, just a really dumb idea.
There's literally nothing wrong with football.
>>68927750
These threads are always made by Americans who just started watching football and didn't experience or understand the beauty of the sport of other matches and tournaments.
>>68928866
we understand the game, anon. it's just pretty boring desu.
would be fun
The amount of people that take the bait in these shit threads is pretty astounding desu
>>68928498
I had a friend that was in the second plane.
Seriously, go fuck yourself.
>>68927750
Golden Goal.
But because of muh TV it will never happen.
That's sad
How to fix football in 4 easy steps
>stop the game clock during stoppages of play
>to compensate for this reduce game time 2 x 40 minutes and no injury time
>implement video reviews. All goals, penalties and cards are automatically reviewed
>give coaches 2 challenge flags per half. Get your flag back with a winning challenge
Amerifags are so insecure lads hahhahaah
If a team has the ball in their opponents half, they are not allowed to pass back into their own half otherwise it's a foul to the other team.
How fix amerifats?
>>68929386
Stay mad faggot.
>>68929461
You're pathetic, dude.
Put an extra goal on each side
>>68929435
Make Chile the 51st state
>>68929494
Kek. I can almost hear the tears
>>68927750
thermal cameras at every major match to punish diving
>>68929386
somewhere someone was somehow involved in something
better never let anyone talk about it
also, no, you didn't
>>68928498
Lel
>>68929509
Tears? No, I'm over it. It took about ten years but it eventually happens.
I just don't get how you think that's funny.
>can challenge 1 ref decision per game, if you were right you don't lose it (like in tennis)
>Every penalty has to be confirmed by watching replay after calling it
>Red card for faking a foul
>>68929386
Half of people in the US had a friend that died. They must have killed the 3000 most popular Americans alive
>>68928836
Lol. What a fucking loser
>>68929539
I didn't even make the joke.
I think it's funny that you expect no one to joke about an American tragedy but would have no issues with joking about other peoples tragedies. Get over it.
>>68929539
Every day more people die in traffic accidents and shootings than 9/11. You americans get so damned emotional over the wrong things
>>68929386
No you didn't
>>68929415
Agree with everything but I think the stopping time is fine. They already count this time and add it to the end. It also gives the ref about a 1 minute time window where he can end the match without being in the middle of an attack
>>68929386
HE DIDN'T FLY SO GOOD
>>68929584
I did. You won't ever believe me though. That's fine and expected. I don't really care.
I'm not going to argue with people that think it's somehow ok to joke about others' tragedies.
I come here because I love the format and this place is fucking hilarious, for the most part... but some things just don't make any sense to me.
>>68929642
Lel get over yourself. Seriously who goes on 4chan to complain about 9/11 jokes. Go to tumbler it's a website destined for people with victim complex that need to make every tragedy about themselves
>>68929642
It's been 15 years. Tragedy is the centre of lots of comedy. Would you stick up for jokes about other tragedies? Or does it only count when you personally are triggered?
Maybe you'd feel more at home on tumblr
>>68929675
This is a place for sports though.
>>68929688
>Would you stick up for jokes about other tragedies?
No. I seriously think it's weird to joke about that stuff.
>>68927750
>no offsides
kys
>>68929694
Lel yeah right. Next you'll tell me /tv/ likes movies and /fit/ actually works out. Top kek m8
>>68929386
Sorry. The joke was in poor taste. I just hope he prayed to God before he died, so he'd get those 72 virgins.
>>68929741
It was a she... but thanks bro.
>>68929748
Got pics?
>>68929759
No.
She wasn't very attractive. The reason we were ever "friends" in the first place is because I had a huge crush on her best friend. But I was of course too beta to go to her directly. The girl that died was a huge tomboy and loved basketball. We would always play after school and I would ask her every day to tell her friend to come and play too. She rarely did though so I'd end up just playing against her anyway. She was decent actually.
We ended up being sorta friends and it was where I learned how to not be such an aspy and actually talk to girls through her. I guess I can thank her for that
>>68929642
>>68929642
This isn't your fucking blog, US4. No one is going to believe you because it's a ridiculous thing to complain about on 4chan.
>Amerifats will laugh at the deaths of millions but expect global sympathy when their shitty security kills 3000 of their own
No, fuck off. Enjoy your anal probing.
>>68929816
Look man.
Like I said, that's fine. Don't believe me. I wouldn't either.
And to be honest I NEVER normally complain about 9-11 jokes on here. Like ever. Its fucking 4chan..
But I'm kinda drunk and I got triggered a bit.
Sorry for interrupting all the memes.
>>68929857
I'll forgive you if you send me her nudes
>>68929857
Fuck off you liar
>>68929857
>triggered
I don't care if this is a ruse. Fuck off back to Tumblr.
Soccer sucks. They should call it "succer" because it's bad and boring. The only way to fix succer is replace the players with nothing and just watch the grass on the field grow because that would be more exciting.
>>68929886
>>68929897
>>68929915
I'm going to bed now. Thanks for listening, friends.
>>68928498
>>68929917
>They should call it "succer" because it's bad and boring.
how long did it take you to come up with that one?
>>68927750
>45 minutes spent without any significant action on both sides
>stop the game
>11 m kicks decide
no more fucking 120 minutes croatia - portugal cancer.
>>68927750
>golden goal in extra time
>rape anyone who dives
>multiball
>>68930020
>rape anyone who dives
Finally a decent reasoning for >equal pay
>No penalties
>The game goes on as long as it has to
Rate
>>68930094
>>The game goes on as long as it has to
>>68929386
kill yourself my man
>I appreciate the beauty of a 0-0 score because I'm a real fûtból aficionado, maybe the sport just isn't for you.
>>68930152
there is not a single football fan that appreciates a 0-0 score no matter how intense the match was
Just make handball the main sport
>fast paced
>more than 1 goal per 2 hours of game time
>goals actually require some work unlike apehoop
>>68928498
Futsal is already a thing, OP
>>68929386
>>68929642
>>68929795
Jesus what a fag. Kys you fucking loser.
>>68927842
>>68927858
>Americans
>>68930152
>I have those shorts
Should I just order my helium tank now?
>>68929795
>barely know a girl
>want to fuck her bff
>probably liked you
>gets killed by Achmed
>"SHUT UP U ASSHOLE!!1! MY """"FRIEND"" DIED IN 9/11"
americans
>it's an american makes a troll thread and then cries when someone says something offensive to him thread
what did he honestly expect?
Referee rolls a 90 sided dice, adds an extra ball to the feild of play for 5minutes starting at the minute rolled.
>>68929917
I'm siccer that you are an idiot
>america cant football, the thread
>>68928116
>Honestly just start to penalize and fine players that flop and it's a perfect game
The only correct answer
>ITT:We fix soccer
Make the field ice and their cleats skates, make it much smaller so teams are 6 v 6 including goalies. Instead of a ball give them sticks and a rubber disc. Allow fighting.
Oh silly me we already invented that sport. I guess you euros are stuck with that half assed attempt of a "beautiful game".
>you get kicks instead of throws on your side of the pitch
>yellow cards for any and all attempts to communicate with the ref unless he's talking to you
>yellow cards for missing the goal by too much (to stop retards from wasting everyone's time with one in a million shots)
>>68928116
>flop
>ITT: we fix soccer
No mohawks
No funky hair designs
And ABSOLUTELY NO HAIR DYE
We should start by fixing americans.
>limit breakfast burgers to 2 per person
>>68927750
>ban americans from watching it
>>68934663
>imposing rations in the Land of the Free
Even we tend to be a tad socialist in Canada but that's just fucked.
>americans trying to discuss soccer
LMAO is like a retarded dog wearing shoes
>>68930020
MULTIBALL
>>68927750
>OP describes indoor soccer
>thinks he designed a new sport
>>68934740
>trying to discuss soccer
You've got that right, when all the games finish in a tie it's pretty damn hard to discuss anything.
>>68929386
sure thing takbir
>>68929857
>And to be honest I NEVER
>Like ever. Its fucking 4chan
>But I'm kinda drunk and I got triggered a bit.
YOU HAVE TO GO BACK
>>68935015
HAAHHAHHAHA epic bantz bro!! This goes to r/4chan FOR SURE.
>>68929688
americans don't understand that kind of humour, nor does the french by the way
Bring back mullets and pornstaches and make them compulsory
>>68929386
I had a friend in both planes and in both towers and the NYPD and a friend in the NYFD and my buddy was in flight 93 and my best pal on the plane that hit the pentagon and my other mate that worked in the military oh and my uncle works for 4chan he'll ban u
