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Everybody wants to shitpost but nobody wants to make a new thread edition
Previous Thread: >>68873205
>Helpful links
http://pastebin.com/mDAydpyK
>/bet/ wiki
http://slashbetslash.wikia.com/wiki//bet/_Wikia
>FAQ and abbreviations list for those new to /bet/
http://pastebin.com/tPXwjDi6
>Help for gambling addiction/suicide hotlines
http://pastebin.com/SVqUYKbf
>/bet/ approved spreadsheet for tracking your bets
http://www.aussportsbetting.com/tools/betting-tracker-excel
on my knees for a tenner
>>68900180
this, but unironically
pmsl this op picture
Would love Juveguy to post his (You)s to see who really runs /bet/ these days
>>68900204
Gonna need my 50 quid tonight man, planning to go out. DM'ed you my paypal
38 lids
>>68900231
It's so sad that, 6 months after release, the majority of the stars no longer actively post itt
>>68900375
>Worse than Hass
pmsl
>>68900375
Who's the voicemail from lad
>>68900375
WHEN will you adjust your clock?
>>68900415
Pmsl, wonder what the context is
>>68900387
Would love an updated version, anyone any good with PS?
I fell asleep
what did I miss?
Welsh patriots >>> Nirn half Scotch traitors
>>68900415
Got drunk one night and that's what I get.
>>68900423
One is from work and another some slag who wanted to meet up
>>68900431
Nothing wrong with it m8
>funded by the swede with the big roll
Hey, that's not where my roll went to shit
>>68900516
>post time: 17:44:26
>phone clock: 17:45
i'm actually triggered here lid
>>68900557
It's 2 minutes behind but keeps me from getting late anywhere
>>68900280
"no"
infantile behaviour
>South Africa
Excellent, now I can reback
>Losing to Botswana
>>68900628
>>68900629
>betting on people who barely eat three meals a day
-ev
>>68900469
>This flag
Who else up thousands from Poland going through?
> tfw bankrolled Poland to win the shootout at 1.80
I'm going to Thailand to go bust a nut on some Thai ladyboys face.
>>68900674
Bet £1000 on Poland to qualify pre match
B365 still hasnt paid out on it, chat investigating bet
Fuck off 365
So how much is everyone up after the vote? The tears on FB/Twitter make the money so much sweeter
>>68900720
Theyll probably tell you to fuck off and stop being so impatient
>>68900752
>inspect element
Post a picture of the cash notes and we'll believe you
>>68900752
I actually HATE you
>>68900752
AHAHAH, DID YOU EDIT THAT IN PAINT BRO
Steve Johnson is in, thank you tennis tipster
>>68900752
on the Sky Live Chat right now clarifying the bet receipt
WTB
>>68900752
You could at least have mad sure the text rendering on your stake was the same as the rest of the slip
>>68900926
You are welcome my friend. Now PLEASE tell me how to trip
>>68900981
Me to have vast amounts of white powder up my nose tonight @1.10
>>68900993
You don't want to once variance kicks in
>>68901016
Baking a cake lid? Hate it when the icing sugar poofs up and goes up my nose >.<
>>68901016
> tfw just book flight to Bangkok in 15 hours
Sheet I don't have a dealer that has more than ganja. Time to hunt for some snow.
>>68901016
Have that planned for tonight, too, if South Africa win. Gonna have to do with Speed and bloody insides of my mouth if they don't.
>>68900961
>>68900990
No need to be jealous boys, you've only been at this for a few years; I'm sure you'll make a profit some day. :)
>>68900993
How do I use a "tripcode"?
Tripcodes can help verify a user's identity to others, and are a type of pseudo-registration. To use a normal tripcode, place a hash mark ("#") followed by a word or short phrase after what you've entered into the [Name] field (ex. "User#password"). Upon submission, the server will generate the hash unique to that particular word or phrase. The previous example would display "User !ozOtJW9BFA" after being posted.
Important note: A tripcode is generated only using the text entered after the hash mark. Your entered name, IP address, cookie information, etc. do not affect the output. Normal tripcodes are not secure, and can be cracked with relative ease. For a more secure solution, see secure tripcodes.
>>68901087
Nothing worse than that lad
Tinder in SE Asia SO easy, going to go out next month and shag my knob off
>>68901124
>claims to be shrewd
>has an unlimited skybet
pick one
>>68901124
Prove it to me by giving me £5
>come back after a 2 week break
>Euan went paid
Pmsl, what a fucking melt
>>68901114
You're SUCH a degen desu pal
>>68901124
Jealous of your poor photoshop skills or of your ability to get replies?
>>68901133
Ok cheers m8
>>68901114
111111111
>>68901181
Why's he a melt?
>>68901193
Degen gambler, even more degen in every other aspect. Not proud of it, but it's the life I chose.
>>68901213
REEEEEEEE. You've triggered me.
>>68901148
>he doesn't make a new account each time he gets limited
>>68901194
Don't worry mate, I'm sure you'll be able to get your yield up on TT some day, maybe you should listen to some of Juveguy's tips?
>>68901154
Pay everyone their £50 and I will :)
>>68901236
We're getting fucked tonight lad hahahaha
>>68901213
No worries famalam keep up the decent tips, up vast sums on a sport I never really took much interest in but I do now
Kyle Edmund @2.25 in the 1st round is at least LARGE potentially more
>>68901294
Log in on your phone and post a screenshot of the bet. Only someone who faked this slip wouldnt be able to do this.
>>68901154
YOU OWE US £50 YOU FAT FUCK
>>68901342
DO NOT LISTEN TO THIS MAN!!!!
Who from /bet/ would you like to meet most?
Lately, I think it would have to be the degen German guy. Can imagine it would be a laff.
I always love how pissed off Euan gets whenever somebody posts a slip for a big win.
Euan, why can you not stand other people winning big
>>68901404
Juve. NEED to see if he's the dj and his general life.
Thought ARP had died desu
>>68901342
>>68901377
I don't know who to trust
Next OP
>>68901436
This. But I have a crush on him so it doesn't matter whatever state he's in
Florian Mayer is another LARGE in the 1st round @3.5
Mayer looks overpriced here as he has won nine of ten matches on grass court this season with a straight sets win against Thiem included in that run so 5/2 is value today.
>>68901471
Nigga I post all my tips on TT.
>>68901514
PLEASE stop impersonating me
Should I bet 20 quid on Wales?
>>68901514
Also baka. Thiem will win that. But it will go over 3.5 sets. Only reason Mayer won last time was Thiems retarded scheduling.
>>68901570
Northern ireland to go through is huge
>>68901559
Yeah I realised that hahaha, it's probably juveguy
>>68901627
Going to block him VERY soon. Will miss the WORLD Wimbledon tips.
>>68901559
v strange man
I'll be posting these on TT just giving /bet/ time to get on before the price gets hit by posting on TT
>>68901627
"no"
ARP
>>68901692
PM me on TT with detailed instructions on how I can do this.
>>68901813
Go on B365. Select it. Goal. Why is life so cruel.
Robbie Savage is the Jeremy Corbyn of football.
Looking like FH unders and extra time are going to be the meme bets for the round of 16
>>68901851
>thinking people will actually believe I don't know how to trip after already getting given the instructions
Begone child.
#'realtennisguy#password'
>>68902173
nice try
>>68902173
>Having a gimmick worse than Juveguy
>>68902173
OH FUUUUUUUCK I did it
>>68902202
This will end as soon as I crack it m8. Stop being a brown noser and fuck off.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzz
PMSL
W A L E S
A
L
E
S
Was praying for a goal
Bale too too good
hup
OWN GOAL
W
N
G
O
A
L
Love Robbie Savage
MLS: Impact Montreal VS Sporting Kansas
Over 2.5 FT goals @ 2.14 on Betfair
Both teams have only had over 2.5 goals in 2/5 and 3/5 of their last 5 games, however in 4/4 of their last H2Hs it has been over 2.5 goals.
Wouldn't bet too heavy on this, but I honestly think this will come through. Can't seem to find any other games like the Chicago one this weekend.
Begging for a fiver
Anyone who's about to send Juveguy some money send it to me instead. He owes me £50 from 2 days ago.
WALES
WALES
20p ===> £2.76
who was #ON
>>68902446
Thanks soccerway
Got it
>own goal
>>68902446
laying this
>>68902452
sick hourly rate
tybWales
>>68902446
>games played together by teams x months and x years ago influence their current play style
why do people fall for this meme
>>68902446
>Wouldn't bet too heavy on this
Okay, I won't
>>68902446
Bookies might of learnt their lesson
>>68902446
>soccerway: the bet
Easiest 600 of the week there thx gareth bb
Time for insurgency
Test
>>68902452
FUCK you are gonna fuck it up
88' nireland meme goal
thanks a lot juveguy
>>68902452
NEED a 1>100 challenge
Can people stop impersonating me please
Might be a dumb question but is there a way americans can bet? I see interesting arbitrage bets posted on sites but they're all only available to pretty much every country but our own supposedly 'free' one.
How is my trip? Feel like I will cement my place among the Legends of /bet/
>>68902599
>might of
>of
Please stop doing this. This happens far too often on here and it triggers me every single day.
I WAS ON BIG TIME LADS
>>68902708
>/eurobet/
>>68902708
Use a secure one if you think you are going to be legend.
>>68902708
it might of've been good
I'd rather be me than Jonny Williams with that hairline at 22
>>68902565
Because it's the best indicator of how teams play against each other? The results from 2/3/4/5+ years ago don't matter as there's new talent and different lineups; but if a team wins 4-2 away, you can bet on there being a few goals when they play at home.
>>68902572
Not as sure as I was for the Chicago game, hence why I'm not saying bet heavy; but I'd say I'm 60-60% sure that there will be over 2.5 goals. I've got £50 on the game as well as £20 on an accumulator, so I'm betting about 20% of this week's bankroll on it.
>>68902639
Gonna shout so this can end the impersonators.
finding this trip fight quite cringe-worthy tbqh
I'm on a 2-1. Im still confident.
>>68902717
Sorry lad, might of been a slip of the thumbs
>>68902836
and you STILL have a <10% yield
really in doubt regarding this CRO-POR game, don't know what to pick lads
>>68902963
Over 0.5 1st Half goals
then a separate bet Croatia to Qualify
Got a worldie coming up as my first /bet/ tip under my trip
Ashley Williams so stupid
>>68902881
if you're sure mate
>>68902963
Could just not bet on it at all and enjoy the game and a couple of beers.
>>68902963
Feel it'll be high scoring. Ronaldo is now ON. Should be better for Portugal as Croatia won't sit back.
>>68903009
go on laddie
>>68902918
That's due to me stupidly thinking I knew what I was doing in the Euros and relying on Portugal, here's my yield for MLS so far
>>68902997
TSUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
>>68902836
>18 tips on the Croatia v Spain game
PMSL at your TT betting history
I'll have a bet with you Ross, I'll bet that you won't take a single penny with you when you die. I'll also bet that if you linger on your deathbed, you're going to be in so much pain, real bad pain. Not necessarily psychical pain, but pain from the mental anguish that will be caused when you realise that the great leveller, Death, is right beside you, and with every fibre in your body you will not want to leave this life, because you kept winning at it, you trod on people to constantly keep yourself above them. In those final few seconds Ross, as you fight for breath, you'll realise that it was all for nothing, and not a penny of your wealth will prevent you slipping into the enfolding grip of darkness.
>>68903035
>>68902997
we played three times so far, and portugal got all three wins
with ronaldo on fire and our choking tradition, Portugal DC and over 0,5 1st half goals is looking most probable
>>68903032
I'm an addict Johann
>>68903059
>all on overs in 1 (one) game
You're not fooling anyone here bud
>>68903183
>I'm an addict Johann
I feel you
>>68903032
>implying you can enjoy a game without having a stake on it
>>68903260
Depends how intoxicated you are
>>68903260
>mfw I watch a football game without betting on it
OK I have the next pick in my 20p ==> £100 challenge. Just need Wales to wrap this up
>>68903305
kek
OK. Portugal v Croatia, BTTS.
£2.76 ==> £5.80
>>68903425
Literally bankrolling this, if it wins il be up over 8k today ( minus the plane ticket i just booked )
>>68903496
PLEASE give me five of the victory pounds
>>68903532
Il buy some Thai whore a beer in your honour mate
>>68903496
Addict talk. You haven't researched anything but because someone on a Chinese imageboard who is renowned for bad tips posts it you're on.
222222222
South Africa!
>>68903582
Fuck off shill. Didn't you see the Brexit result? The people are tired of numbers, graphs and researchers who don't understand that its about quality of life.
If I lose I lose and probably have to refund my ticket. If I don't lose I'm going to fuck 2 Thai girls and a ladyboy ( to get another cock in there but its still non threatening ), thats what life is about. You can't take money to the grave with you.
>>68903496
Good luck m8.
I have o.5 for HT
I feel like I have made a fucking mistake.
>>68903683
>Didn't you see the Brexit result
But juveguy bet against leave...
>>68903683
Take this degeneracy out of here. This isn't r9k for you to be casually mentioning lady boys and Thai females.
>>68903683
Printing this post out to frame it.
>>68903779
unsure why you'd do that
are there any good /bet/ sites with a reliable Android/iOS app?
>South Africa
Need to call my dealer to negotiate
>>68903779
V v worried about you mate. That is a disgusting post.
>>68903779
v strange post this one
>>68903683
Good advice
tfw you cant afford to go on holiday with your betting winnings because you cannot win a bet and the money you do have left is worth much less than it was 3 days ago.
>>68903948
Join my 20p to £100 challenge bud, might help you out
For fucks sake south Africa, this is what happens when you have a black quota in your team
>>68903948
>not buying loads of GBP on Friday morning so you can be UAC in a few months
>>68904041
How do you buy GBP with GBP???
>tfw parliament disregards the advisory referendum and votes against leaving the EU
>>68903727
Thanks mate, going to take 3 or 4 shots and smoke a fat blunt and watch the game.
>>68904077
Just from the bank mate.
In play. Sumit Nagal. Challenger Marburg. Wait for when he loses a point or is game point down so odds shoot up.
GET HYPE GUYS IT'S HAPPENING
Buy my book for just 29.95 and learn my top tips for becoming filthy rich!
>>68904157
If anything like this was planned Cameron wouldnt have resigned, it is too late to go back now. Just move to Scotland if you want to be in the EU.
>>68904209
>Scotland
>leaving the union
literally more chance of hell freezing over
>>68904209
would NEVER step foot in that degenerate land
>>68904280
wasnt one of the selling points for them voting to remain in the UK last time that they would be part of the EU?
>>68904280
It's happening
>>68904280
> Scotland
> land of the eternal cucks
Stay and be cucked by the English, leave and be debt raped and cucked by the EU/Arabia
One of those really clear public/pro divides on this next game.
>>68904307
Yes. They're almost guaranteed to leave if they hold another referendum. Hopefully tyhat won't happen
>>68904353
Public on Croatia and Pros on Portugal I assume?
>>68904353
mug money on Ronnie
>>68904401
You thought Remain was a guarantee too.
Literally shut the fuck up.
>>68904401
Would enjoy seeing Scotland leave then capitulate desu
>>68904456
if everyone that thought remain was going to win shut the fuck up there'd be no one talking
Won't Spain veto Scotland joining the EU?
>>68904515
Yes.
And then they'd be outside of the UK and the EU.
Which would be hilarity.
>>68904515
I would imagine so, but then they might get a bit of hush money if the EU is determined to fuck over the UK.
juveguy the only person in /bet/ with a decent grasp of politics.
>>68904515
Apparently but it depends how it will work. There isnt a precedent for a region of a EU country going independent
>>68904515
No they'd be sleeping
>>68904312
Scotland would still need to apply to join the EU and would most probably get veto'd by Spain and Belgium who have already stated that they would do this.
There's also the fact that choosing to remain in the EU does not necessarily mean they'll vote to leave the UK. Use East Renfrewshire as an example, 74.3% wanted to REMAIN but 63.19% voted NO.
In Stirling, 67.7% chose REMAIN but 59.77% said NO.
Another referendum doesn't necessarily mean Scotland leaves
>>68904571
EU deciding to antagonize the UK while Russia looms on the East strangely will resemble WW2
>>68904041
got so much GBP, I basically bought all of the GBP that my local bank had in stock pmsl
>>68904589
and spain don't want it to happen since catalonia might secede
would pmsl if scotland end up completely isolated
>>68904617
59.77% voted NO to a UK WITHIN the EU. That situation has changed. I'd imagine a lot of voters would prefer being independent in the EU over being in the UK without EU
>>68904617
Is this Hass' new trip or some new guy?
South Africa hup
>>68904456
pmsl
>>68904672
Like many have said in this thread, Scotland might not even be allowed into the EU. Would pmsl if they are stuck outside of the UK and the EU.
>>68904589
Got to be a joke right?
>>68903581
Going to Pattaya lid?
>>68904672
Doesn't necessarily mean that more people will be inclined to vote yes. It's going to be "Do you want to remain in the UK and outside of the EU" or "Do you want to be independent of the UK and EU".
A second referendum will happen, the result won't be as clear. A lot of voters would rather be part of the UK than be outside of both
>>68904758
nah, salmond, sturgeon are slimy cunts. there'd have scotland independent more than anything else and they'll probably muddy the waters about the pro-independence plans enough to get the majority.
Portugal to win race to 5 corners easy money @1.72
Scotland will have a choice of leave the UK and be penniless in the EU which there is no guarantee they will even get in alone. I'd take a NO vote at decent odds
Reminder that it was Gordon Brown's deafening eclat that saved the based union o7
>>68904720
I'm not sure how it works but I'm sure they'll try their best to convince Spain otherwise
>>68904758
they should ask both questions at once
>remain in the UK, thus outside the EU
>leave the UK and stay outside the EU
>leave the UK and apply to join the EU
It's all speculating right now anyway
>>68904758
>>68904885
Who are these new trips?
>>68904873
A confirmed place in the EU will be a huge point of the campaign. If they get it, independence is almost certain imo
>>68904740
>tfw chickened out after booking my Pattaya vacation, because none of my friends had time or wanted to come with me
Instead spent the time on /bet/ 18h a day and had some fungi grow on my ballsack from sitting in my chair all the time and sweating my ass off.
V inclined to put a small on Vasco tonight, after CRBs embarassing performance last game
>>68904934
Spain has its own states wanting in the EU and independence so they will be forced politically to say no.
>>68904950
Ask the republic to take you in, it's MASSIVE on Reddit ATM Pmsl
>>68904934
Germany need that slush money for spain then. Ask them to bet on Euros as well.
>>68904950
SO many economic reasons not to go independent though. SNP have been shown to be F R A U D S and this might hopefully get shown up
>>68904936
I am /bet/. I am the part you won't recognize. But get used to me. Shrewd, confident, cocky; my trip, not yours;
my tips, not yours; my own; get used to me.
>>68904986
Both teams to score for that game's a winner
>>68905060
>thinking retarded scots actually care at all about economics and have thought about this past MUH FREEDOM FROM YOUS ENGLISH
>>68905103
Respect
>>68904950
Negotiating for a place in EU while still in the Union will be treasonous. EU will never negotiate terms on the probability of leaving the Union and joining them. Scotland will have to leave before they can start negotiation.
Would psml laughing if Turkey threw a shitfit over Scotland joining before them.
>>68905103
Running out of room for more greasy sixth form dullards like you on my filter list
>>68905103
see
>>68900280
I'm top dog here
>>68905109
Sounds a bit like Brexit voters pmsl
>>68905225
Except the UK economy is now stronger than before.
>>68905109
>thinking retarded Leave votes actually care at all about economics and have thought about this past MUH FREEDOM FROM EU
Works for most things.
>>68905165
Sturgeon has already said the discussion has started.
>>68905293
that means fuck all. Mark Carney had to use millions of pounds of capital to liquidate the currency markets.
and also, basically people sold bank shares and bought shares in previous metal companies. Not that big of a surprise because precious metals are a relatively safe bet. So although the FTSE recovered the issue is that we have a 70% service based economy and a lot of banking jobs that create a lot of wealth and tax revenues. So while the stock market might appear to not have fallen much, Britain's GDP generating sectors did get economically raped
stupid brexit dullards
>>68905302
>>68905293
>>68905293
>I only post information that backs up my point
>>68905338
Yes that means fuck all fucktard see: >>68905335
>>68905302
Discussion aren't negotiations.
>>68905335
No offence, but the amount of bets you've lost makes your opinion worthless.
I'm still waiting on my £50.
>>68905293
Can not wait for my portfolio to green up on Monday
SO, SO much ignorance here. Not sure what I'm going to do in this anti-intellectual country when I get my Economics degree
>>68905405
> when I get
What year you in lid?
>>68905386
>you meme around betting therefore your fact-fuelled economic views mean fuck all to my grade-level econ ftse 100 chart xD
Portugal to win is the bet today
>>68905405
>when I get my Economics degree
PMSL. I got mine, look where I am..
>>68905455
Man you're really salty tonight.
Why can't we just be friends?
I'm back home
>>68905511
where are you? dreading the thought of all the financial centres shifting to Frankfurt
jesus fucking christ
>>68905556
Hows the betting been doing?
>>68905405
What ignorance? Do you mean the REMAIN voters who have been joyfully spreading around the fact that the market crashed as some sort of evidence that the UK economy will fail?
The market dipped due to UNCERTAINTY and guess what, the market is now recovering. We won't see any lasting financial changes for at least 1-3 months if not more. Or do you seriously think that the economy changes over night and will NEVER recover or change again?
>>68905369
The pound had dipped multiple times and recovers, that's funnily enough what currency does. Perhaps we should wait until the US Presidential election so that when the USD dips as well, everyone can quote your "logic"
>>68905661
using paint to circle points on the FTSE 100 doesn't showcase market recovery. regards,
>>68905742
i'm actually ecstatic. most successful day betting in ages, up £1
>>68905647
Good, thank you. In the last 2-3 weeks went from 100 to 400 euro bank. Around 60% yield in uruguayan basketball
Also will profit about 2.5k from all the tournaments I've made
And made an argie gf who let me stay at her house for a week. She cooked for me and thought that betting and researching was cute
>>68905771
So why so mean?
>>68905712
Ah right, I forgot that facts don't matter; would you prefer numbers to illustrate it instead?
Before BREXIT vote
>FTSE 100 @ 6,334.63
Straight after vote
>FTSE 100 @ 5,926.40
Today
>FTSE 100 @ 6,162.97
Or to put it a way you understand, you started at £300, you lost it all on a Juventus game and went down to £5 and now you're slowly and steadily building back up to £300 and you're currently at £187.
>>68905776
God has blessed you
>>68905581
On /bet/ pal, on /bet/.
Couldn't get into Frankfurt Business School, got my Bachelors at a shitty Uni (Kassel), couldn't get a job, went into Business Law, got my degree, couldn't get a job.. you get the idea. If you aren't directly recruited straight from Uni and you have no connections or work experience your future ain't bright here. Not worried about it anymore, would rather off myself than starting a wageslaving career.
>>68905849
no, the point is the absolute value of the FTSE100 doesn't mean recovery. it's the kind of thing some high-school drop-out would share on FB to try and argue their meme, ill-constructed views. it's more nuanced than that. once again, see: >>68905335
>>68905925
NEED my £50 you greasy student.
>>68905925
>the absolute value of the FTSE100 doesn't mean recovery
By that logic, the absolute value dropping doesn't show a crash either. Or does your point only apply when it proves you right?
>>68905661
The market isn't recovering. The uncertainty over Brexit has been built into the market for months, take a look if you don't believe me. For the market/pound to truly recover, you'd expect to see it at the level it was BEFORE the referendum was announced and that clearly isn't the case.
Why is overs so high on 365? Is it because of the low scoring meme?
the Bank of England had to literally use its forex and gold reserves as collateral to maintain market stability. the amount used surpasses annual EU fees. it's not the market recovering on its own
>>68905986
people sold bank shares and bought shares in previous metal companies. Not that big of a surprise because precious metals are a relatively safe bet. So although the FTSE recovered the issue is that we have a 70% service based economy and a lot of banking jobs that create a lot of wealth and tax revenues. So while the stock market might appear to not have fallen much, Britain's GDP generating sectors did get economically raped
you have to be trolling at this point. head over to /pol/ where
