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You are currently reading a thread in /sp/ - Sports
dead poomunities edition
Australia, West Indies, South Africa ODI tri-series begins June 3
Is Ben Cutting going to be a future successful odi/t20 all-rounder for Australia?
gooooooooooooood morning
>tfw I have literally confronted Dale Steyn outside of his hotel in Sydney and showed up to fight him after he called me weak on Twitter and he bitched out of the fight
Still a good bowler though
Cricket is gay
>>67997844
Whens the next test series for Australia? Google didn't show it like a month ago when I last looked
>>67998914
I dont think you can beat him 1v1 if you both are alone in a underground street fight
Bowlers really have strong arms, he can knock you up in a punch
>>67998926
http://www.espncricinfo.com/australia/content/match/fixtures.html?team_country=2;future=1
>>67998954
*Out
>>67998914
based fucking goosey
>>67998793
He was a big thing in Shield a few years back, but got injured and now he's poo
>losing to literal who's in the warmup matches
>not playing Russell and Gayle
>getting surpassed by Bangladesh in the ODI rankings
should the Tendies just give up?
>>67998954
Strong but vulnerable. Fast bowling takes a tremendous toll on the body, all cricket does. When I was playing club cricket I'd get a stress fracture once a season from over-exerting and being slack with my strengthening exercises. Part of the reason why I gave up, also I was shit.
Even though I outgrew my anger toward him I'd have the better chance of putting him in the ground
>>67999037
he's raised on the mean streets of Phalaborwa and Pretoria lad, he'd tear you apart
>>67999037
Based krazyGOD, king of Sydney Grade Cricket.
>>67999070
Phalaborwa was a predominately white, low population, low crime area when he was growing up. Again I don't doubt he isn't a strong person, he's just nowhere near as physically intimidating as he is made out to be
>>67999114
>also I was shit
Krazykuck would never admit to being crap at cricket.
Also he's probably still stuck in the office KEK
>>67999129
>he's just nowhere near as physically intimidating as he is made out to be
KEK, making angry faces is now considered intimidating? Kek. Maybe if you're a 12 year old Indian kid. Kek. He's a lean greyhound like bitch and I could literally rip his Boer heart out with my bare hands and eat it if I wanted to.
>>67999142
Nah he's back, check the end of the last thread. Just sifted through the day's postings and replied to several all at once, with not a single word of substance.
>>67999169
That was me, not krazykuck
I really rate Kane Williamson. He's not going to "dominate" bowling attacks in the traditional sense (i.e. score hundred of 130 balls in a test), but I think he's technically the best of any batsmen playing the game. With a good technique you're likely to be more consistent. However, as Kohli has shown, a mixture of good technique and sheer determination is also good enough to achieve a super high level of consistency. Root also deserves a mention - I think these three will ensure we get something similar to the to the Tendulkar, Kallis and Ponting era. Quite honestly, it's also not about the amount of runs you score (just bear with me), but when you score them. A prime example is Warner last night and in the qualifier - even though Kohli has been amassing them, Warner played crucial knocks when it mattered. So what would really serve for me as the benchmark to day which of these new batsmen is going to be better, is the amount of high pressure games they win, but I think Williamson is potentially that player. Cool question btw - think it's a nice debate to have :)
>>67999188
>this triggers the krazykuck
LE MARSH AND LE BIRD LE EXPOSED KANE AS LE FLAT LE TRACK LE BABBY LE GOATVEN GODTH LE SCORED LE RUNS WHEN LE GANE DIDNT LE X LE D
>>67999214
It sounds like it triggered you more than him lad.
>>67998914
If Dale Steyn was under threat from a gorilla at a zoo, would you kill it?
>>67999255
B T F O
T
F
O
Cook on suicide watch
>>67999276
fuck you man, I'm still seething over that
>>67999310
>LE FUG LE PARENTS LE KID SHOULD HAVE BEEN SHOT INSTEAD XD XD
>>67999310
are you related to that gorilla?
test
cricket
I've actually put a lot of thought into how I'd handle Dale. Obviously his right hook would be dangerous, but he'd put his whole weight behind that, leaving him vulnerable to a counter-attack if avoided. What I'd need to do is feint to the left to bait the punch out and then quickly dodge to the left. At that point I would strike at him from behind or attempt to trip him up and get enough strikes in during the confusion to beat him into submission.
>>67999320
natural selection
If you are useless enough to neglect your child and let him fall into the lair of an endangered animal, YOU deserve to bear the brunt of the consequences.
Keep white-knighting that useless mother to be edgy though, you useless contrarian fatass.
>>67999366
BTFO
>>67999276
Given how /cric/ thinks his South African has prepared him for such encounters let alone facing me, I'll leave it up to nature to decide
>>67999366
OH SHIT
>>67999366
Based fucking statsGOD
>>67999366
STATSBRO BRINGING THE HEAT
Don't get me wrong, Dale would have the resilience to keep on fighting, but he'd have give up out of fear of sustaining an injury that would affect his cricket playing career. I think that's my main advantage over him.
>>67999366
Holy shit based statsbro, how are you so based?
>>67999366
Kek blown the fuck out
Statsbro on nobel prize watch
>We didn't get to see footage of the killshot
Land of the free indeed
>>67999366
No fucking chill
>>67999366
S T A T S G O D
T
A
T
S
G
O
D
>>67999464
>>67999459
>>67999436
>>67999434
>>67999408
>>67999393
>>67999388
>>67999377
>>67999366
There he is. There he goes again
Look everyone, statscunt posted it once again. Isn't he just the funniest guy around. Oh my god.
I can almost see your pathetic overweight frame glowing in the dark lit by your computer screen which is the only source of light in your room giggling like a little girl as you once again type your little /cric/ meme up and fill in the captcha. Or maybe you don’t even fill in the captcha, maybe you’re such a disgusting NEET that you actually paid for a 4chan pass so you just choose the picture. Oh we all know the picture, the uh will smith isn’t it? I imagine you, little shit, laughing so hard as you click it that you drop your KFC onto the floor. But its ok, your mother will clean it up in the morning. Oh that’s right, did I fail to mention? You live with your mother! You’re a fat fucking fuck up and she’s probably so sick of you already. So sick of having to do everything for you all god damn day, every day, for a grown man who spends all his time on 4chan posting about a pakipaddle sport. Just imagine this, she had you and then she thought you were going to be a scientist or an astronaut or something grand and then you became a NEET. A pathetic /cric/ fag NEET. She probably cries herself to sleep everyday thinking about how bad it is and how she wishes she could just disappear. She can’t even talk try to you because all you say is “STATSGOD STATSGOD STATSGOD”.
You became a parody of your own self, statscunt. And that’s all you are. A sad little thread laughing in the dark by himself as he prepares to indulge in the same old dance that he’s done a million times now.
And that’s all you’ll ever be.
You are obviously so infuriated that you're forcing yourself to take a break from this argument, possibly the thread altogether, to cool off. This is a good idea, but here are a few points you should be made aware of before you go:
1. You are new. I was literally here for years before /cric/ even existed. While this may not be necessarily a great thing, you seem to take great offence when people call you new, so it would also offend you to realize that the person you're arguing with has been here much longer than you.
2. My cricket knowledge dwarfs yours. That's not to say I know everything, just that you know FAR less than you try to claim. The moniker "statsautist" was a poor choice in retrospect, because it's you're neither knowledgeable about cricket stats nor autistic when it comes to cricket knowledge. The label seems to have gone to your head.
3. Your mannerisms and characteristics are very easy to predict. When making a claim or trying to begin an argument with someone, you will start relatively calmly. A lot of the time, the opponent will not bother arguing with you, or will not care, and you will win the argument without ever having to display anything but a calm and collected demeanour. However, as soon as someone challenges your opinion, or takes you up on your debate and it becomes apparent to you that you'll soon become exposed, you get EXTREMELY angry, and begin spouting memes left, right and center. I honestly don't think you're even aware that you do this. It's just a defence mechanism that you employ to fool yourself into thinking you're posting your argument in a witty 4chan-related way, rather than in abject fury.New Zealand posters have never brought anything of value to /cric/ and you are a prime example of this. Perhaps if Australians weren't so prominent in /cric/ you might be able to become a useful poster, but with us here you can't help but let your inferiority complex take over and turn you into a clueless, seething casual.
>>67999366
based statschrist
>>67999366
holy fuck statsnapoleon, I don't think anyone can recover from this
based goosey
>>67999366
Wrong - the gorilla does for being the inferior species. Not so tough caged up with a gun in your face are you, simian cunt?
>>67998919
POO
O
O
F
>>67999599
t. Glenn McGrath
I can't stay away for too long
>>67999643
Fuck off
>>67997844
>Mitchell's
goosey, you here m8?
>Sri Lanka fast bowler Shaminda Eranga has been reported for a suspect action following the second Test against England in Chester-le-Street.
>Eranga must have his action tested at an ICC accredited centre within 14 days - Loughborough University in England is his closest option - but can continue bowling until the result of that test is known.
>The Chester-le-Street Test was umpired by Aleem Dar and S Ravi, with Andy Pycroft as match referee. This is the first time Eranga's action has been called into question - in his 18th Test. If it is found to be illegal, he will be barred from bowling in international cricket until he remodels his action and has it cleared at an ICC accredited centre.
kek
KEK
K-E-K
Mkhitaryan apparently rejected an offer to extend his BVB contract
Comfy thread tobihannes. Maybe the is the solution for the ec cancer.
poo peelanders are nicer than australians
>>68000286
>>67999142
>>67999169
I am a meme-tier "batsman" but I am literally going to Lee to Chanderpaul of Cucktorians this coming summer
>>68000286
are you reading the same thread I am?
>>68000252
Shareholders on suicide watch
Shareholders on smart investment watch
can some germanon explain why koln just sold their two good young midfielders?
are they rumoured to buy someone better? are they in financial strife
worried about the future of >us
>1GOTS
>>67998793
Ben Cutting is an extremely unlucky player.
He is a very good First-Class bowler but doesn't have the technique to be a Test match allrounder.
He is also a handy T20 slogger but is a useless T20 bowler because he doesn't really have a yorker or good slow ball variations.
if you could combine his quality as a bowler in First-Class with his quality as a batsman in T20 he'd be a fucking elite allrounder. But instead he will be cucked his entire career. He was on the verge of having a career as a specialist Test fast bowler in 2011/12 but injury took his pace and he never recovered.
>>68000361
>can some germanon explain why koln just sold their two good young midfielders?
money
>are they rumoured to buy someone better?
maybe Salif Sané
>>68000293
Is that a girl he's standing next to?
>>68000405
please stop bullying 5'5niel
>>68000411
I just didn't realise there were pictures of him in the company of females
>>68000361
We don't need them and schmadtke and friends probably feel confident enough to keep making good transfers. No need to be worried tobihannes.
>>68000425
Did you miss that text message conversation he posted between him and a girl on christmas eve? Comedy gold tbqh
You may only reply to this post if YOU have PERSONALLY created or pioneered a quality /cric/ meme this year
>>67999184
Are you tall (6'4"+) ?
From experience it was the really tall guys who had big problems with stress fractures
you r le daniel XDDDDDDDDDDDDD
>>68000436
6'2", but I get stress fractures in my shins because I've got bad feet and my left leg is slightly shorter than my right
>>68000435
I created the "just did a big poo in a fancy restaurant lads" meme and pioneered the "I got an email from woolworths today" meme
Puh slept like shit
Aussie girls only date 6'8" and 300 lbs Polynesians
>>68000455
Same, uncomfortable feeling in my head all morning.
>>68000464
I only date german international students and backpackers
>>67997844
>>67997844
Slots taken. Get out.
I for one am welcoming our brown overlords
>>68000441
>because I've got bad feet
Exactly my problem. I would fall over alot and eventually my luck ran out and I did my meniscus in one knee. That injury wasn't bad at all, very minor keyhole op and 6 weeks rehab. The problem was that because of the op I lost alot of muscle in that leg and I started to overload my good leg. Then I got achilles tendinopathy which created like two years of problems because it would just never completely fuck off and then as I started training/playing again it would comeback. I finally got rid of it but it took a whole season out for me.
india v england next decent series at the end of the year
someone add this to the Indian montage
>>68000435
There have been no quality 2016 /cric/ memes. All are leftovers from 2015.
>>68000504
>indiawinslol
>not the single greatest contest in world sport: Australia vs South Africa
>>68000430
>Christmas Eve
Of course I missed it. Better question is why YOU didn't, you nerd.
>>68000518
That's not New Zealand vs Bangladesh.
https://www.reddit.com/r/Cricket/comments/4ltta4/i_literally_confronted_dale_steyn_outside_of_his/
BASED STATSCUNT
>gentleman's sport
>>68000541
>all those seething redditors
>>68000541
>I love /r/cricket. Even the shitposts are amazing.
What did he mean by this?
>>68000546
ty
>>68000551
>the beautiful game™
>>68000563
>M-MODS!!!!
lel
>>68000574
>wheelchair cricket player
Every time...
>>68000541
>>68000572
Daniel just give up m8
>>68000834
>a post shilling statschinese
>wow it must be daniel
Are you actually braindead Wankush?
>>68000878
I sometimes wonder the same thing
>>68000563
>shut up and fuck off you cunt
Every time.
>>68000933
It's ok Trinibro, I'll upvote all your truth bombs.
what the fuck does bundes have to do with cric?
Nothing's going on
>>68000938
Thanks Kush
>>68000949
Well you see, /cric/ infact RUNS /bundes/
>>68000949
Bundes and cric have a symbiotic relationship. I don't know how it started, but with all the refugees around I'm sure cricket will be big there soon (:
Someone make a new thread, fuck cracket
I though about writing some thing like this: "okay I had to sign up/register to comment on this"
Maybe if something big happens in another thread.
>>68000965
actual thread
>>68000980
>>68000980
>>68000980
>>68000985
go away
>>68000985
Thank you, Sir.
>the australian cricket team will win the ashes for the next 20 years, our '4 horsemen' will guarantee victory for years to come
>AUS v SA
>AUS v PAK
>IND v NZ
>IND v ENG
>IND v AUS
>NZ v PAK
>NZ v SA
it's going to be a pretty good summer lads
>>68000949
Freshcunt.
/bundes/ was annexed by /cric/ last year
>>68000960
>Bundes and cric have a symbiotic relationship. I don't know how it started
with this
>>68001053
other way round
>>68001041
Indian series will be the best, followed by Aus v SA.
I just want the ashes back tbqh.
>>68001059
KEK
You losers are just pawns in our ultimate endgame.
>>68001070
what's your endgame? are you going to spam CP again?
>>68001055
>Turkish flag
kek
>>68001061
There's been too many Ashes recently. That 2013 double-header was just dumb.
That said I think now would be a really good time to play the Ashes. Both England and Australia are really good young teams. The only weakness on either team is England's spinner. Otherwise both teams are strong in every department.
In 2013/14 England was full of old hasbeens sticking around past their expiration date for one last tour. In 2015 Australia was full of old hasbeens sticking around past their expiration date for one last tour.
>>68001005
Inshallah, Mohammad's very own boys Moeen Ali, Zafar Ansari and Adil Rasheed will lead England to victory.
>>68001083
Exactly. With good pitches, the next Ashes will be GOAT
to whoever yesterday recommended I play Xcom2. Thankyou, it is a really good game
>>68000985
kek
KEK
K E K
Please stay in this thread AusWORMS and Poopeelanders and other subhumans, you're not welcome in the official Bundes thread.
Thanks.
>>68001148
t. Muhammed Al Bashar El Shitskin
>>68001106
Glad to hear it lad. Be a good autist and make your troops look like every single member of the Australian cricket team
>>68001148
Is the "Germans have no sense of humour" meme real lads? Stuff like this is just steeped in autism and without the slightest bit of wit. Is it just the language barrier?
>>68001148
like anyone wants to post with freshcunts like you
Why did Pakistan make Inzy the chief selector instead of their batting coach?
who Victorian fourth grade club allrounder here
Execute all AusWORMS.
>>68001041
>having any expectations
Literally every single major series last year was a fucking disappointment.
>Ashes: win the first session, win the test
>SA/IND: complete thrashing
>SA/Eng: every game was a blowout, SA never turned up
>Aus/NZ
kek
KEK
K E K
>>68001746
AUS v SA is always GOAT, and is literally the only reason to watch "test" ""cricket"" in 2016 and beyond.
>>68001746
SA v England was good, even if it would have been better two years ago
The Adelaide test was good, as was the Cardiff test
>>68001768
Won't be this year, unless you're a big Tahir and Phangiso fan
>>68001851
Who exactly is this mystery world-class white spinner South Africa have been hiding away from us?
That's a fucking meme. They only have to play 4 quotas and three of them will be Amla, Rabada and Bavuma who are all good anyway. They only have to carry one scrubber like Duminy or something
>>68001866
need to be 60% coloured or some shit now, and with South Africa potentially being given the potential 2018 T20 WC they're going to have to follow it
>>68001886
Sauce?
Because the Rugby team just announced there squad for the upcoming series and it's not even fucking close to that. The Boks will have like 3 or 4 coloured guys in a team of 15.
The Rugby team also want to bid for a world cup in the next few months so same thing applies to them.
>>68001896
http://www.sportskeeda.com/cricket/cricket-south-africa-barred-hosting-any-international-tournament
>During the ‘Eminent Persons Group on Transformation in Sport’ in Pretoria, Mbalula stated, “I have resolved to revoke the privilege of Athletics South Africa (ASA), Cricket South Africa (CSA), Netball South Africa (NSA) and South African Rugby (SARU) to host and bid for major and mega international tournaments in the Republic of South Africa as a consequence of the aforementioned federations, not meeting their own set transformation targets with immediate effect.”The population of South Africa is predominantly black with whites being the minority.
>However, cricket in the ‘Rainbow Nation’ has mostly been dominated by white people which has led to the sports ministry framing a 60 percent quota of colored players in all national teams.
"""60% coloured"""
>>68001928
stay furious that you were just proven wrong krazyfucker
>>68001920
>>68001934
That doesn't say it has been implemented yet.
I know for a fact the Rugby target is 50% by 2019 so that would seem to me more like a transitional target like they have in Rugby.
Show me a source explicitly saying the South African cricket team would be implementing a 60% quota and I will believe you.
>>68001083
Ashes needs to be every 6 months Tbh, maximize profits
>>68001940
It has, there just wasn't a deadline given for cricket, which is why CSA were, and I quote, "surprised" when they were blocked
There was an article on cricinfo a month back or so. I can't be bothered finding it for you and you alone
>>68001956
You know what, there is a very easy way to determine who is right here.
In a few days South Africa will be playing. And when ATLEAST 6/11 players are NOT coloured as per your theory, I will come back here and laugh at you, gatecunt.
Do you think Weinzierl means that Hojbjerg stays at Schalke?
He didn't completely rule it out in an interview this weekend.
Are you guys going to watch the Kirin Cup?
I know that Denmark-Bosnia will be on Australian tv. They should get Thomas Sorensen in the studio, but maybe he's on vacation outside Australia. I'm sure they've asked him.
>>68001973
The squads were already announced before then.
>""""""theory"""""""
I LITERALLY have proven myself right and you wrong on the "4 players per team" meme
>gatecunt
Not him
>>68001974
This post was supposed to be in the other /bundes/
>>68001980
>Kirin Cup
literally never heard of it and im a soccer fan
>>68001988
I'm not disputing that the 60% number exists as a target. I'm disputing that CSA are actually going to do it at this stage.
If they actually do a 60% quota they will get slaughtered in all formats by every non Bangers/ZimZam team. I simply don't believe it will happen yet and the Rugby team definitely aren't doing it which is an indication
>>68002009
> there just wasn't a deadline given for cricket, which is why CSA were, and I quote, "surprised" when they were blocked
>>68001993
I hadn't heard of it until a few months ago when Denmark was invited.
>>68001980
I'm not a wog tbqh
>>68002034
I hadn't heard of Denmark until some Tassie bogan became Queen of it tbqhwym
>>68001768
>watching Burnshit and Vogeshit flog an ageing Steyn and Morkel on an Adelaide road
>watching Starc decapitate based manletvuma
I'll stick with GOAT20 instead, thanks.
>>68002538
The only t20 on at that time is the Based Bash so either way you will be watching AusGODs
Be on your best behaviour lads, we're about to get an influx of redditors
Why are we being autosaged
>>68003338
cause the subject is /bundes/
>>68003701
Do the jannies have a hateboner for you lads?
>>68003735
kinda. although the autosaging is pretty much the only moderation of /bundes/
I for one, welcome our Reddit brethren to our small poommunity
>>68003812
You're a good lad Krazysir
>>67999255
In 20 years time we could literally have the English Bradman, averaging 150 among other records being smashed all over the place, and Piers would still be sending butthurt tweets about how a 50-odd year old KP should be starting over him.
Zimbabwe just dropped Masakadza.
What the fuck lads?
Can Americans be NEET?
>>67997844
England vs Pakistan test squads
>Eng
Cook (c)
Compton
Hales
Root
Bairstow (wk)
Ali
Stokes
Broad
Woakes/Willey
Anderson
Finn
>Pakistan
Hafeez
Masood
A.Ali
Khan
Ul-Haq (c)
Alam
Malik
Ahmed (wk)
R.Ali
J.Khan
I.Khan
Gonna be a good series tbqh, still pissed about Amir though
Could everyone with a reddit account do me a favour and upvote this post. Fucking nerds can't handle truth bombs and it buries shit.
https://www.reddit.com/r/biggestproblem/comments/4lwcbl/psa_youre_all_dipshits_if_you_think_the_show_is/
fuck the mods
