ask an amateur mma fighter that just lost his second fight and is 0-2 anything
do you know any judo
>>67943038
did you get HEEMED?
Do you suck at MMA?
>>67943038
what's your plan B?
I just beat the fuck out of OP, fucked his mom, and shit in his car's gas tank. Ask me nothing, faggots.
>>67943064
got triangled chocked on the ground. got punched plenty of times it shows on my face but I have a great chin. I lost both my fights on the ground in the second round
>>67943038
what do you think you need to work on to win against literal amateurs?
>inb4 everything
how many Ls before you conclude that fighting's just not for you?
>>67943069
i would not say I suck the guy that beat me was 2-0 and they changed the weight class at the last second and didnt tell me so I weighed in 5 pounds under while the other guy was on weight. I had tough competition
>>67943104
>got punched plenty of times
>choked on the ground
are you Irish by any chance?
>>67943038
why aren't you crushing cans to pad your record first? serious, you can say "i was at a point where i was comfortable enough to compete, but not too confident in my skill-set to challenge the best competition" later on
>>67943104
tough luck pal, does your gym have adequate trainers/coaches? seems you need to overhaul your ground game.
Are you considering in opening up your training, to a place outside of your mom's garage?
>>67943109
working on everything is a good idea but endurance and take down defense against the cage and ground game are what I need to work on.
my coaches were telling me how good of a job I did and how I just need to work on a few things.
he was also talking about a guy he knew maybe offering me a $500 a fight contract . So I may become a pro even though I am 0-2
>>67943070
well I am going to school to be a drug abuse counselor
also my mom is going to buy me a condo and I work a couple of shit jobs so financially I am ok
Gayest thing you've done on the mat
>>67943052
I know a little bit of judo and have ok defense against judo
>>67943173
my face was like in the guys ass when he was triangling me he was triangling me from the top.
I am not gay and definitely did not enjoy it
>>67943038
do you use DNP to drop weight ?
if not, what is your cutting diet ?
do you use DMZ to keep muscle mass ?
>inb4 /fit/
Why not just go for boxing instead? You need to work on less aspects of your game, easier to practice and it hurts less.
Also not as homo.
>grabbing your opponent is a thing
>>67943219
I have no Idea what DNP or DMZ is.
my cutting diet is 2 days before the fight I drink a small amount of water and 10 chicken nuggets until the day of the weigh in where I eat and drink nothing and hit the sauna. I only cut like 10 pounds
>>67943224
I have considered getting some amateur boxing fights so maybe I will. I have a lot of boxing experience
>>67943243
>nugger
>diet
pick 1
>>67943243
>I drink a small amount of water and 10 chicken nugget
Man, you seriously need a nutritionist
How much do you weigh?
Do you have cauliflower ear?
What state are you in?
Did you forget to align your qpus?
you should fight a can so you can get a win
>>67943325
No cauliflower ear. Fought at bantamweight tonight even though I weighed in as a flyweight
>>67943492
>weighed in as flyweight
>literally less than 125lbs
>>67943038
I would kill you with a punch, just saying
>>67943567
You couldn't. You're a loser tripcuck
>>67943567
i have taken many punches and have not been killed, just saying
>>67943038
How much do you run for your fights? Amateur Muay Thai fighter here, and am just curious.
>>67943576
You're already dead inside, what's the point
>>67943588
What is your aspiration?
UFC? Ever consider boxing? Even low level boxers make decent money compared to MMA fighters
>>67943602
not much, maybe that is why my endurance is shit but I think it is mostly the grappling that saps my endurance
>>67943608
>>67943608
ideally the UFC but I am realistic and realize that may not happen especially considering I am 0-2.
yes I have considered boxing but low level boxers have shit pay too and it is harder to get boxing fights
>>67943664
How much have you made per fight so far?
>>67943627
Dude, trust me, with endurance, you can be a dangerous mother fucker. I run 6.5 km a day, and also go on my stationary bike and do sprints for like 15 mins. With that extra endurance, you won't have to worry about being gassed, you can come back from bad situations, and just overall makes you way better. I mean look at the Diaz bros. Good chins + crazy endurance = Scary mohterfuckers. IMO their jiu-jitsu is great, and everything is pretty alright, but the reason they beat people is because of their ability to pressure the fuck out of their opponents with their constant "not give a fuck pressure".
Can i watch the fights anywhere?
Why not just take 2 or 3 shots of rum before a fight so you basically lose all sense of "proper force" and just throw devastating haymakers
>>67943695
0 I am an amateur not a pro
>>67943724
That's how you get countered and HEEMed the fuck out
>>67943697
this is good advice
>>67943721
yes but I do not want to get doxed
>>67943732
Oops, also I'm sure you know this but don't reveal who you are on here, too many dicks who get kicks out of fucking with your life
>>67943732
For free
>>67943038
Who would you say is your fav UFC fighter currently?
>>67943724
>preheeming yourself before a fight
get a load of this guy
>>67943243
I think I know why you might be 0-2
>>67943766
jon jones
>>67943745
>worried about doxing
boy i just want to watch you get heemed
>>67943785
Manute Bol eats McDonald's before running and he's the fastest guy on earth
>>67943810
i havent gotten heemed assuming being heemed is getting knocked the fuck out
>mfw I haven't been in a fight since middle school and I have a better record at 0-0 than OP
>>67943121
>>67943812
He also is a FUCKING RUNNER WHO TRAINS RUNNING CONSTANTLY
Do you have a ring nickname like the Huntington Beach Bad Boy or the Axe Murderer?
You need a nickname if you want to git gud.
>>67943843
Getting a nickname when you are starting out is a death sentence, you need to earn that shit first.
>>67943843
The Artist
>>67943785
lmao
ayy lmao
Why not take a cycle of steroids to win?
>>67944426
i want to try to avoid a heart attack
>>67944483
Good little goy. Don't seek your only advantage. Be food for the sharks.
>>67943104
Get stronger nigger
>>67943843
'No Wins Nigel'
>never fought
>undefeated in fighting
>technically better than a real amateur fighter in many ways
feels okay bra
>>67943849
"Little nugget'.
>>67943243
im pissing my fucking pantys laughing at this
>>67943608
even the higher levels of MMA are shit at boxing i'd hate to see wht this guys coming out with hands wise
>>67943843
"10 nugget fuck it"
>>67943145
>my coaches were telling me how good of a job I did and how I just need to work on a few things.
They are using you lol, other coaches are paying your coaches to toss you into the ring with up and comers. You're a jobber and you don't even know it.
Tfw gigantic, 6ft 3 245 13% body fat, train wrestling and jiu jitsu my entire life. Never been in a real fight, no one has ever started shit with me I wonder if all my training has paid off.
>>67943038
Renan Barao might give you some hope. He went 0-1 and then got like 30 wins in a row
>>67943038
>getting beaten for free
>>67943843
"The Minuteman"
Get some road work in, for Christ sake.
bamp
>>67943120
>excuses
>>67943812
and now he's dead
>>67943858
The Autist
>>67943243
>>67943492
do you not own a scale? Why are you starving yourself and cutting 10 pounds if you were clearly already on weight
>>67943101
do you know judo?
>>67943122
because he is the can
we will pay you to fight in /heem/ 1 if you want
>>67943812
We got a joker here, folks.
Does it hurt? :3
>>67955570
they changed the fight weight they just didnt tell me about it
>>67956066
You need to get a new gym, your coaches are fucking you over.
>>67943608
>Even low level boxers make decent money compared to MMA fighters
Oh look, the pathetic namebitch doesnt know what he's talking about.
Is there anything sadder than a 4chan tripfag?
"Internet attention is a big deal to me!"
>>67945200
it all depends if you can take a punch, i saw a few times dudes get heemed in high school by littler guys
>a manlet pushed a 6'4 football player against a wall and heemed him with a right hook in sucession
>>67956217
then why do weight divisions exist?
>he didn't quit at the top with amazing 5-1 score
s
m
h
f
a
m
huh. really makes you think
>>67943243
>10 chicken nuggets
>water
truly the meal of an athlete
>>67943243
This is pretty good bait, anon.
>>67943243
yeah sorry but youre not going far in you career
>>67943038
how does it feel knowing I have a BMI of 40 and I have a better MMA record than you?
>>67943038
Don't worry, I'm sure you'll beat Phil Brooks.
>>67943104
Come to brazil and learn some BJJ plus bang some big bunda trannies
>>67943243
this is the best satire I've ever read
>>67970164
OP here. ussain bolt lived off chicken nuggets at the olympics. I dont know how to cut weight other than massively reducing my food and water intake and hitting the sauna. I dont have a world class team helping me out here
>>67943812
decent b8
>>67945200
nice estats bro
>>67969677
i bet you dont tho
>>67943748
Why do you act like you know things? You asked an amateur mma fighter how much money he's made
>>67974024
Shame there's not an endless supply of information on you at all times, maybe one day
>>67956351
Because organized fights are much more different than street fights. I wouldn't expect a britcuck to know this though considering you can get exiled for owning a potato peeler
>>67943243
>my cutting diet is 2 days before the fight I drink a small amount of water and 10 chicken nuggets
>>67975072
ussain bolt fueled his olympic gold medals on a diet of chicken mcnuggets
hmmmmmm
>this thread is still going
Top drawer stuff /sp/ keep this comedy gold alive
>>67943243
the build up to this made it great
I bet I can kick your ass faggot
>>67943243
>10 chicken nuggets
Even Usain Bolt eats 100 chicken Mc nuggets a day
Step it up senpai
>>67943492
LMAO
Maybe I would get into fighting but I'm not the size of a child and would have to cut 5 lbs of my natty weight to be light heavyweight and I know for a fact I'd get destroyed by anyone there.
>>67943219
Know about DNP, but what is DMZ?
>>67943849
let him have his nickname, this lil nigger ain't earning shit
Hi I'm 1-3 in amateur MMA
Also never been heem'd
>>67943038
What is your finishing move?
>>67982691
havent finished anyone yet, obviously
