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>tfw go to every game I can that kessel is playing in
>always have my hotdog ready
>dreaming of the day he scores that third goal and i can throw that weiner covered in extra mustard and onions on the ice for him
>on that day I hope he picks it up and takes a bite, lifting his hands into the air like a gladiator that just won his freedom
>months later I meet him at a fan meet & greet
>he signs my jersey
>under his sloppily written sig i see a little something extra
>;-)
>I know it was you
w-what?
>you threw that hotdog
y-yes i did.... I hope you enjoyed it
>he stands up and hugs me. whispering in my ear "it was the best hotdot I've ever had, anon.
you know my name?
>I know everything about you
>his strong tongue slides against my ear and i know this is it
he announces his retirement the next day, after his cup winning season we live out our days travling the american heartland for the best doughnuts
Friendly reminder that shitsburg will get swept in the next round
>the same fucking thread again
Someone make a different thread
>>67308559
One ball bill xD
What a fat shitter
>>67308609
I like you less than I like OP
>>67308609
gary pls go
Accurate map or nah
>>67308609
>>67308574
lelanders? never
tampon gay? very very unlikely
>>67308574
>pens havent lost back to back in months
>thinking theyll get swept
>>67308638
Vegas resident here. We get the Ducks and Kings are our "home" teams, but honestly the big teams like the Rangers, Blackhawks, and Leafs are probably more popular due to transplants and bandwagoners.
> the It still hurts
>>67308680
I love u duck friend
>>67308676
That's exactly why they'll get swept
They'll drop two straight and never recover
>>67308638
>States that never freeze have hoc teams
Explain
>>67308678
How do you feel about the potential of an expansion team? The expansion draft could give you an instantaneous playoff team to watch.
>>67308705
have you not watched a single playoff game friendo? Murray literally will not let them lose
>>67308680
are you okay duck bro
Stars are going to win it all arent they?
>>67308729
>Matt memeay
He'll get lit up by a real team. Craps are destined to lose in the second round
>>67308559
based bill
your time is near, filthy commie
How fucked are we?
is this the shorks year?
>>67308680
It's okay Jose, eat a taco. Maybe the cucks win it next year
>>67308750
Bloos can only have the refs help them so much
>>67308750
>finnish goaltending
We tried to warn you
>>67308757
yes
>>67308729
Pretty sure they lost to the craps
>>67308757
now that there is no >finnish goaltending to slow them down, yes
winning through the power of black cat magic
>>67308750
>Finnish goaltending
>Blue Line: Literally Who Edition
>>67308559
>>67308728
Excited, but they won't be anything more than my second-favorite team. Like alot of people here, I moved here as adult from somewhere else.
Phil "Greased Lightning, Greased Foreman Grill" Kessel:
-Dominant Scorer
-Objectively better skater than Lemieux
-Shoots better than Lemieux
-Overweight, has to carry around extra weight much like being held by an opposing defender constantly
-Has to play for the Leafs
-Also had cancer in his testicles
-Everyone picks on him because he is fat
-Even gets picked on when he is chosen to be an All Star
-No one wants to hang out with him
-Even fans make fun of him
Mario Lemieux:
-Constantly told by everyone how perfect he is
-Gets to play with some of the greatest players of all time
-Everyone tells him he is great and handsome
-Does not suffer from weight issues and is not shamed for his body
No contest
>>67308757
they will make it to the scf and get swept by the islanders.
>>67308742
>so casual he doesnt know murray shat on the regular season as well
>>67308806
of course the caps are going to take a game, they are supposed to be the best team in the nhl after all
which is why its hilarious they still couldnt win tonight
>>67308750
Gonna come right down to the wire.
Which is the least funny meme for 13 year olds?
Scary nazi Leon (he's German XDDD)
Or "haha he's fat and goofy looking" Kessel
>>67308872
found the redditor
>>67308545
Hey anon, remember me from last night? You post your faggot Oilers bust and ad for NHL.com again and watch what happens.
Do you like this thread? Does your worthless shit team not hurt you enough? Bye fag.
>>67308872
irony is pretty high up there, friend.
>>67308872
the bill kessel shit is by far the best thing going for /hoc/
Who've you got in tonight's game boys. Muh bracket says the Caps got this despite Bill's great play.
>>67308737
No , Iam feeling pretty fucking down . Ducks just fired a really good coach in Boudreau and I feel like the ducks are going to go through Hell with this shakeup and might miss the playoffs for the next few season . I feel like our window is shutting on us now
I feel really sad and disappointed
>>67308888
Please just spam this stupid shit up again
>>67308872
The oilers are shit this blue eyed faggot is shit. McMeme is a faggot and no amount of NHL shilling is ever going to bring back the Gretzky days. Kill yourself OP. Nobody here likes you.
>>67308888
nice quads
>>67308904
I still believe in the Disney owl. Are there rumors for who will replace him?
>>67308904
ducks should get >finnish goaltending
>>67308750
i think that it's over for u guys, u should never trust finns to save you
>>67308904
Also , I would like to add that i feel like Bob Murray should have been held more accountable for our lack of playoff success/choking by not making any splash in the free agency this last off season and Bruce got the blame when Bob can't surround him with the right talent , forcing us to use irrelevant wingers like Chris fucking Stewart as a top line winger when he has no business
Being an Oilers fan makes you a stupid masochist. At least the Leafs have hope. You're at the very bottom. Fuck you and your bust. If you're going to make a post at least don't shill for the league you fucking faggot cunt
I have a feeling like tonights game is gonna go to OT
But Holtby though...
I've got Barry Trotz not being able to coach due to severe asspain
TY based autism poster
>tfw you wake up in the morning, check the scores and see your favourite team lost
The whole day literally ruined
He is good. But I still think Pittsburgh is going to score more goals. 2-1.
Of course they'll score more goals since they have Phil Kessel, but how many will be waived off by bad offsides reviews and goalie interference?
http://espn.go.com/blog/onenacion/post/_/id/3769/hockey-eyes-hispanic-fans-for-growth
I'm starting to understand why Hockey isn't growing as a sport, thanks for the insight
>>67308545
Why does based drai trigger faggots so hard?
mls soccer is growing faster than the NHL and I'm starting to see why. I guess I'd be bitter too if a bunch of hipster faggots were out-doing my sport
more like mlshit lol
>mfw Blackhawks ticket prices finally go down next year
Aw yeah get fucked bandwagoners form naperville
>>67309052
Why there's no canadian teams in the playoffs?
>dated a naperville bandwagoner in 2009
>i'm a flyers fan
confirmed worst human beings
POO POO PEE PEE CHING CHONG PING PONG >RAGS
HAHAHA KEK
top tier memes about to hit this board lads
Who are the leicester of the NHL?
>>67309085
Too many finns
The blue jackets, and they're gonna win with meme magic in the next couple years
>tfw ecstatic af that the Shorks are making it happen but also keeping my expectations low because they've choked horribly in the past
>>67309066
Football is a newer market than hockey in the states, which is why it's able to grow faster
>one team ties another team
>a different team wins
>there are not playoffs
Glad our sport doesn't suck 2bh
Wear the Shork, wear the teal pray they don't choke.
>Cucknadians suck at hockey now
>suddenly zero Cucknadian flags in /hoc/
>Cucknadians on spee pretend like they don't care about hokkei
>>67309139
Check the times swedebro, it's a spammer made at memes
>implying that's Hank
That's inferior Finnish goaltending right there
I like hockey
>his jersey says Raanta front and center
>>67309165
Fair enough
The Wheats Kings will win the WHL championship over Seattle. If America cucks >us out of winning the teenage hockey championships too I will off myself. Cap it fag.
>>67308559
I'm new here, are these types of posts the norm? Why are people responding with Bill? Is this some special olympics type of thing?
>Phone post
Your jailbait hockey teams are shit fag.
I was at game 4 of round one and it was fucking packed, I have been to games for years regular season and playoffs and it seems to always be at 85% capacity or more
is big bull Koskinen in the net against USA tomorrow?
>>67309217
bill's fat, awkward & slightly autistic. perfect meme worship material
I love Torts. Guy's hilarious and says what he thinks. Fuck all these limp wristed bloggers that can't handle some bantz.
>>67308559
Is Jiri Huddler white?
Is Tampa the most cucked team in the league?
>>67309287
your autism knows no bounds
Is the poster below me a spider?
>>67309297
I'm just getting started. I've been talking to my girlfriend and checking up on other threads while I post.
>>67309217
Bill would post here with us if he didn't make the NHL.
>trying to kill a thread by spamming
>this will take ~6 hours
I will be awake to make a new draisaitl nhl.com thread by that time
>>67309241
yeah I think so
>>67309312
>imaginary conversations w/ an underage figure skater
bet you rub your schlong across your screen too, huh?
>>67309380
There's more than one autist on /hoc/ you know
Post some clipart penguins pls
Welcome to Hell, again.
MEME
If the post below this has a pig you jerk off to interracial porn.
>>67309588
>hoggy
>craps
>no_stamoks_news.jpg
>o-oh w-well we don't need him anyway
>when your team needs apparel restrictions to ensure they don't look bad on TV
>>67309815
Cute pupper. Mind if i save it?
Caps win 4-1 today. So far predicted 1/2 correctly(this series)
I'm sick of this two days between games bullshit. I know it's good and helps Stralman get back at some point in the series but waiting for games is so god damn boring.
stralman sucks
Stralman is one of the best defensemen in the league.
How the fuck is it a baseball image? It has a picture of three Lightning players, their coach, their logo, and it says NHL. In fact this fucking image is from 2011 it used to have Vinny, St. Louis, Stamkos, and Guy Boucher on it. Somebody changed it to Tyler Johnson, Bishop, and Cooper and then I put Kuch on it shortly after the playoffs started.
The asspain generated from this thread should be used for something
Tampa Bay is going to win the cup and there is nothing your faggot team can do about it. Looking at you pongs. Islels swept in 5.
Zaitsev
Mathews
Stamkos
another top 5 pick next season
get fucked
If you're a laffs fan you don't need to get fucked, you're already there.
Fuck Stamkos. Let someone else overpay for him.
What can you tell me about Zatisev? I've heard that he's quite the sniper
>defenseman
>sniper
Subtle
What color tape do you use and how do you tape your stick?
You do play hockey, right?
>Average Edmoncuck
But naw I use black tape because I feel like it gives the goalie a fraction a second less to pick up the puck off the shot. I tape heel to toe for spin and I wax the crap out of it and take a torch to it to melt the wax into the tape so it lasts longer
What is this "hockey"?
I'm here only for the dankest memes available.
>Laine to winnepoop
>Pulju to blewjackits
>Juolevi to oilels
This is a nightmare
>tfw you're an ex nhl player and nobody will ever know who you are
>>67309973
>implying torts and poopoo won't be lifting the cup together
>>67309973
Winnipeg is a great place for Laine 2bh
>>67309984
keep that fucking mouse open
do the caps have a chance?
>>67309945
I dont know if a person with less likable interests exists.
Karlsson to sweep the Norris
and Loui to win Lady Bing
I watched two hockey games this weekend and it was pretty fun desu
Anyone seen Zaitsev play? How bad is he
>>67310060
Pretty bad on international stage desu.
Don't watch KHL game.
Watch the penguins. They're assholes and skate well and fast.
>Loui to win Lady Byng
In your dreams
WEW
E
W
LAD
A
D
surely nobody is this autistic and mad at hokkei right?
breadman, mcmeme and ghostmeme are the finalists boys
meme
>barkov
>gentlemanly conduct combined with a high standard of playing ability
kek
KEK
Yeah I have to agree it's absurd that a 24 year old can be a rookie, and we all know it's rigged for mcbust
>Olli Glassman Määtä is injured again
>filip forsberg didn't win the calder
I usually make the penguins games this year but so far nbc has been dirty lying faggots and told me the game starts 30 minutes before it actually does. does anyone know if puck drop is 8-8:15 or later than that tonight?
I will make the thread before I run to the bar to watch the first period there, just curious what time I should go to it
>3 games on at the same time tomorrow
what do you mean by this?
>Kikel not even a finalist for the Calder
Who will save American hockey
blackhawk fans are already jumping off the bandwagon
https://ca.sports.yahoo.com/blogs/nhl-puck-daddy/popular-blackhawks-blog-shuts-down-after-team-s--indefensible--actions-212216024.html
>It's a pretend McDavid had a good season season
>mfw they give calder to mcmeme despite playing half a season when ghost bear literally tok a shit franchise and carried them to the playoffs
for the record, giving it to """""rookie""""" breadman is also an insult to the trophy
not even a flylel fan
Finally we don't have to be the reddit bandwagon team anymore and you fucking idiots can shut up about us.
>mfw they give calder to mcmeme despite playing half a season when ghost bear literally tok a shit franchise and carried them to the playoffs
for the record, giving it to """""rookie""""" breadman is also an insult to the trophy
not even a flylel fan
>>67310171
pic related
whelp, lets see if the Blues make my heart ache again after the first period
>Mfw the blose somehow fuck this shit up and don't give hockey a final showdown vs the shorks where one team MUST go to the scf
>giving the calder to a player that wasn't even good enough to make his team out of camp
dah blues will fug it up somehow, its the life >we live
Why do the islanders and lightning bother playing? It doesn't even matter who wins because they're going to slaughtered in the ECF
Poo poo pee pee
> ghost bear over eichel, Larkin, and domi
>two finnish busts will be drafted in the top 3
When will teams stop falling for this meme?
Larkin would be a candidate if he hadn't fallen off so hard after the asg, buy ghost bear really didn't do anything that incredible
>>67310180
They were never fans, they have always only been bandwagoners.
>mcdavid over any of those players (including ghost)
>>67310259
Mo gamez = mo mony
NHL is cucked if Panarin doesn't win Calder.
>24 year old """"""rookie""""""
I fucking hate Mike Millbury he's such a faggot
Morning my fellow hockey fans. Whose gonna win the Calder and why will McDavid win it for a retarded reason
Shitposting singularity has been achieved
ALRIGHT!
NOW LISTEN TO ME KIDS, THIS GUY
THIS GUY HERE do we have the tape?
THERE WE GO! THIS GUY HERE HE'S A HEART AND SOUL KINDA GUY
THIS IS THE KINDA GUY YOU WANT ON YOUR TEAM
>we've got to wrap it up, don
NO! NOW LISTEN TO ME WHEN I TELL YA
YOU CAN'T WIN CHAMPIONSHIPS WITHOUT GUYS LIKE THIS
>we're out of tim-
I'M ALMOST DONE! IN TODAY'S NHL YOU NEED HEART AND SOUL AND YOU NEED GRIT
THESE KINDA GUYS WHO KEEP THEIR STICKS ON THE ICE AND CAN FIGHT WHEN THEY NEED TO!
AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON ALL YOU FOLKS OUT THERE WHO JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND FIGHTING!
OK, THAT'S IT
>heh, you've been watching hockey night in canada
>on rogers
What's so special about Rogers arena
How likely is it Ledank will get suspended? Didn't look as bad as Orpik's hit to me.
Don Cherry is a senile old man
Being from Detroit I know that the league will never give a fuck about anything the Red Wings do, it doesn't matter how debatable it is it's just not happening. I can't get mad at them trying as hard as they can to salvage the hype, I can laugh though.
Can I get a
>rags
for old time sake fämäläm?
How assblasted will cherry be when Laine wins the Calder and Rocket Richard next season?
>the same canautist makes the same new thread
>the same amerautist copies and pastes every post from the previous thread
binlan where are you when we need you most?
>tfw shitposting but distracted by this coming on the TV:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WXgNo5Smino
>>67310360
Polishing my gold medal
>>67310411
jesse :DDDDDDDD
>craps
>chokevechkin
>>67310335
read that as Lendack
idk m8, I doubt he gets a game, a fine maybe
>>67310444
Ryan Whitney Verified account
@ryanwhitney6
Ryan Whitney Retweeted Leafs PR
Interested to see how he plays in NHL. He was just as impressive to me in KHL as Panarin was when I was in Russia
>rags
