Tonight at Busch Stadium, the first game of the season between these NL Central rivals gets underway at 7:00PM. The Cardinals' 2015 season ended hilariously with a loss to the Cubs in the deciding game of last year's NLDS.
John "I Saw The Light" Lackey goes for the Cubs in his first start against his previous team, the emasculated and shitty Cardinals, who are trotting Mike "Taking A" Leake out on the mound tonight.
New Cubs RF and all-around smart guy Jason Heyward also played for the Cardinals last season but realized that ship was sinking fast and got the fuck out as well.
The Cardinals' long and admittedly impressive reign of terror is over, and watching their fat, inarticulate fans squirm and cower like the worthless scum they are as the words of the prophets prove to be the truth, one game at a time: the Cubs are poised to win the World Series 9 times in the next 14 years en route to becoming known as the greatest team of all time.
And now, your starting lineups:
CUBS
Fowler cf
Heyward rf
Zobrist 2b
Rizzo 1b
Bryant 3b
Montero c
Soler lf
Russell ss
Lackey p
CARDINALS
Carpenter 3b
Hazelbaker cf
Holliday lf
Moss 1b
Piscotty RF
Molina c
Wong 2b
Diaz SS
Leake p
cybs are gay
St. Louis pizza > Chicago pizza
Discuss
>>66932047
St. Louis has a pizza? Since when?
The Cardinals gave Mike Leake 80 million why?
Fuck the methinals.
>>66932112
IMO's
It's great if you're drunk.
Still, fuck Chicago.
1908
9
0
8
>>66932120
lol idk he sucks
>>66932047
>implying Chicago "pizza" is actually pizza
>>66932112
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/St._Louis-style_pizza
Better than tomato bread bowl
OP why did you waste time writing all of that, nobody cares that you failed a creative writing class at the local community college
>>66932164
provel is literally satan
>>66932047
both are shit
>>66932047
>Chicago """"pizza""""
>good
How does anyone enjoy that shit?
>>66932201
what's wrong with it? how can you not like copious amounts of meat and cheese?
>>66932219
OP likes copious ammounts of meat
>>66932219
It literally just tastes like tomato.
And it gets soggy too easily
>>66932112
it's literally those squares of pizza they served in grade school cafeteria
How is St. Louis pizza different from Chicago style thin crust? My favorite pizza is the thin crust from a Chicago style place. Deep dish is good but eating it more than once a year is overkill.
>>66932247
that just looks like fucking pizza
>>66932148
I'd rather be a Cub fan and not have a WS win for over a 500 years than be a faggot St. Louis shitbag. (sorry McGwire I used to have your jersey as a kid and you were my hero)
>neither pitcher hitting 8th
poor form
"I'm not here to talk about the past."
What did he mean by this?
>>66932236
>>66932201
>>66932219
That's why you get it stuffed with everything.
Who eats Chicago pizza and only gets Cheese? There is a reason it's deep dish. So you can put like 15 different toppings and shit in it.
It's an actual pie... even I wouldn't eat a cheese pie.
Reminder that this happened
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cLJ5l0WaH_U
>>66932277
You sound mad?
Who's a Cardinals/Packers/Red Wings fan here?
>Cubs fans out cheering drowning out Carindals fans boos
top lel
>>66932318
Absolutely fucking disgusting. How does that even happen? Explain please.
>>66932047
>>66932344
Bandwagoners are insane people I tell ya.
HEYWARD ON SUICIDE WATCH
>"best" "fans"
>>66932318
>it's the "I live in the Chicago area but want to be a contrarian sports fan" starter package
Heyturd btfo
>>66932344
>>66932410
Live in Naperville. Lots of us here
>>66932236
>It literally just tastes like tomato.
no, it really doesn't
>>66932425
rip
that HBP ties Rizzo with Aramis Ramirez for 5th on the Cubs all time HBP list (57)
>>66932425
>1of6
oh boy here we go
>>66932303
Reminder that then you promptly got btfo by daniel murphy and went yet another year without winning the big win
>>66932471
thanks jeff
I liked Bryant...but this season he is acting like a smug prick in the batters box. He is going for a homerun every goddamn at bat and all he is doing is getting out by popping it up to mid field.
PUT THE FUCKING BALL ON THE GROUND. DID YOU NOT SEE WHAT HAPPENED WITH THE ROCKIES YOU PRICK!
>>66932360
Change that to Heinz ketchup and it rivals Chicago pizza.
>>66932497
>get beat head to head
>"b-b-but you lost in the next round we're still b-b-b-better"
When did Andy Reid become a Cardinal's fan?
>>66932530
I never said we were better faggot, i simlly stated that you guys sucked it up too.
But it's nice to be your measuring stick. Maybe one day you'll see a World Series.
>>66932566
thanks, I will
>more boos for Heyward
top salt
Stopping by to say fuck the tards. Love watching them lose.
>>66932047
>eating meth laced pizza
>>66932815
ayy fuck the cards but fuck the reds too 2bh
>>66932815
>laced
That word implies the buyers dont want it in there.
>>66932859
true, I think it's more of a topping type thing
>>66932815
There you are.
Faggot.
>>66932815
fuck everything about your city. teams, people, everything. fuck you
Fuck the Cardinals
>Broadcast won't stop talking about Heyward
Yeah I get it he signed with the Cubs.
>>66932926
>>66932996
>best fags in baseball
>>66932815
>tfw can't stand EiSPN boradcast so switched to based WGN
Thank God MLB.tv didn't black this game out
>>66933000
>>66933065
me on the right
>giving up booze for health purposes
>been only a few days
>watching this game all I can think about is drinking as sport + booze is heaven
How do legit alcoholics do it
>>66932996
>Shit Poois banter
What's the matter, finish the last of your meth?
>>66933105
they lie to themselves about jesus or something and fight it every day
>>66933121
>implying i'm from chicago
try again chili shitter
>>66933105
Senpai I never drink and am drunk off two beers.
My parents are alcoholics though, be happy you aren't one
>>66933158
Shit Poois=St. Louis you retarded meth ridden autist.
Fuck what a waste of a half inning
>>66933158
>methhead reading comprehension
>>66933158
> shitcago
> meth
He thinks you're a cards fan retard.
Can we call it Taint Louis??? Sounds better 2bh
>>66933105
I've been traveling and have been drinking too much lately. Trying to cut back as well. Not drinking tonight and dind't drink last night. Probably will hit up a bar tomorrow night for the Hawks game though. My tolerance is getting pretty high... Each time I drink it's about 1/2 of a handle of bourbon. So unhealthy, gonna get fat as fuck and kill my liver at the same time and become addicted. Fantastic. During the day I'm okay, it's just at night I get bored and wanna booze.
Good luck though man, I think I'm on the brink of alcoholism but am trying to resist.
Strike zone for tonights game.
>>66933293
it's a penis and balls
>retardnals
>>66933269
Thank god I don't binge like I did when I was 18 (drinking age back in Australia). I've been drinking since I was 13 and I'm pretty much done with going out and drinking at bars, I've slowed down to a max of about four a night.
My record for one night was 23 bottles of Heineken.
Has anyone actually been to Goods in Kewanee?
>>66932655
>>66932608
>>66932558
>>66932509
>>66932463
>>66932425
Not even the best homerun of the series.
Schwarberz's homer that everyone thought he sent into orbit. Best part was when the announcers looked at the data of where it went and just went 'Yeah, that's gotta be wrong' without a second thought before it was found on the scoreboard.
>>66933311
Reminiscent of all the dick that ump takes in his ass and mouth.
who cardinals, packers, blackhawks bulls here?
I was at the Cardinals game yesterday...wore my Blues Jersey
>>66933376
>>66933329
Yea I try to go out to bars because it's at least social instead of me just sitting and watching sports and sipping bourbon all night. The problem is, i go to the bar.... then I'm buzzed, and I wanna get full on drunk and then drink in my hotel room or wherever. Dunno, just gotta get my mind right.
Also, I miss Heyward, Braves fan here. If he could learn how to bat for average, hed be an absolute stud. I hope he gets it together in Shitcago
fuck this game is moving fast
hey could you fags go to r9k if you want to let your emotions and problems out?
>>66933442
This, fucking flying by.
>>66933442
Bryant bout to hit a dinger
>>66933474
you on tape delay?
>>66933449
But then
>Leake just gave up homer
would be filtered immediately.
Damn Cubs have to work deeper counts. Make Leake work a little harder
>>66933488
maybe he's just a couple innings early
>>66933442
>>66933457
>>66933474
>>66933488
This is how fast the new commissioner wants the games to go. Of course, this is a pitchers match up and that's what happens, but still.
This is how fast they want all baseball games to go.
>>66933542
A game doesn't have to be quick to be entertaining
>>66933567
I prefer slow baseball games. It's the American spirit. I like slow games, I love slow games.
Unfortunately, MLB has been really pissed because the games got longer there for consecutive years. A lot of but hurt fuccbois fucking with muh baseball.
>>66933542
Baseball games aren't even that long for fucks sake.
It's nothing compared to test cricket.
>four innings
>five days
I love it.
>>66933590
I am a sports fan because I have shit all else to do, I want it to be as slow as possible
>>66933410
I fucking despise you people
KKKKKK
>>66933614
To bad the game itself sucks dick.
Dubs and the cubs score next inning
>>66933410
>>66933677
>>66933614
>Cricket
I'd rather be a fairy and be a curler than be a hero in cricket.
Literally a game for trustfund gay boi gangbangs
>>66933667
Cricket is comfy, a different kind of comfy than baseball though, more akin to a golf comfy.
>>66933677
checked
>5 innings
>0-0
This semen slurping sport is not for me
>>66933719
Golf just makes me think 'we can turn this into an actual park, or low income housing just to piss off rich people'
>>66933667
Too bad for you. If you can't appreciate it you are missing out.
Out of curiosity how many games have you watched?
>he likes baseball though
>>66933745
>>66933719
>>66933614
>p-please watch our sport
>>66933717
> trustfund gay boi
Not really. Nearly all public schools have a team.
Rugby Union is a private school fuckboy sport.
>>66933210
>shit poois
Son, you're supposed to be 18 to post here.
>>66933745
Anything where you can't throw the ball underhanded, legally, is not a sport.
>>66933811
You can actually.
Geez.
>>66933542
I dig it, I was just agreeing with an observation. I fucking hate seeing pitchers wander around the mound and players undo and re-do their gloves after every pitch. I'm a baseball purist in a lot of respects, but I enjoy this pace of play.
>>66933857
this
I got triggered every time nomar came up to the fucking plate
Someone needs to get beaned in the head.
For the lulz.
>>66933933
>For the lulz
I want 9gag to leave
>>66933933
Hopefully Yadispic Molina
>>66933955
>9gay
Lulz existed long before that cancerous shit ever came about. So fuck you and your mom.
>>66933959
Realistically, that would probably end his career at this stage.
These dubs predict an double play is incoming.
>>66933996
fuck
>>66933959
Hey redsfag, i made a thread for you yesterday, but you were surprisingly no where to be found.
What gives?
New to baseball.
Why is their a need for coaches on first and third? Are players that incapable of making their own decisions?
>>66934035
yes
>>66934035
sports players are generally dumb as fuck, yes
>Montero
what the fuck
>>66933994
But only those cancerous faggots still use it. Good job 9fag faggot.
>Blowing a squeeze play
>Cubes
that was bad
FUCK
what an awful play
bitch ass overrated bryant
>>66934088
wasn't his fault that Montero held on too long
>>66934035
When the ball is in play it is hard for the runner to see the ball, so the base coaches help guide the runner based on where the ball is.
Strike out this cunt Leake
>>66934114
I was wondering that too.>>66934035
Makes sense, I've only been watching seriously for about a year or so and that is one of the few things that did my head in.
>>66934064
>b-b-but t-teh c-c-c-cancer
Eat my dick, ya fuck.
Carpenter with some dog shit PAs tonight
EXHALE
Got worried there
Lackey fuck yes
>>66934207
>Gets blown out
>Has to resort to another old and busted meme
Doh ho ho
Why is Curt Shilling so shitty and annoying?
So who here is now a bears fan since the ole rams decided your city wasnt worth having an NFL team?
GOT EMM
DEX, THE MADMAN DID IT
F O W L E R
O
W
L
E
R
>>66933677
It's next inning
based folwer
we'd really be fucked without him and schwarber
Woo! Homerun single! Lets begin the clown fiesta!
WE DID IT
THIS IS THE YEAR BOYS
>>66934261
Indy and KC are closer
>>66934286
we'd have Zobrist-Heyward-Soler, with Baez at 2B so not competently fucked
I DON'T CARE ABOUT BRYCE HARPER AND HIS FUCKING GROUNDOUT
Dexter fowler has beenthe cubs MVP since he came in2015
>>66934326
>szczur
>>66934338
he wouldn't be starting everyday
>>66934329
What the fuck is up with this?
>>66934232
>replies with a filthy whore
Haha, great point you made there.
LOOK AT DA FLICK OF DA WRIST
>>66934349
javy probably would be then and that doesnt sound very pleasant
WHAT'S WRONG WITH BEIN CONFIDENT
>>66934375
I believe in Javy
#Javy2016
>>66934350
ESPN is just riding his me-may dick as usual.
>10 K's
Lester the Molester mowing down tards.
>St. Louis K's
>>66934536
That's Lackey scrub
>>66934536
Life long Cubs fan since 2015
>fancam
>imminently some girl getting blacked
>>66934565
>>66934544
They both start with L and are followed by a vowel. I apologize for nothing.
>All these fan cam Cubs qts
Why God
>>66934621
your first WGN game?
welcome.
>>66934661
>WGN
>ON WPWR
Why?
Also
>Tardinals
"Just fuck my shit up."
-Leake
BTFO
>dat tardinal defense
>>66934661
No been watching WGN since Len and Bob
just got out of a relationship, these qts give me the feels
SO MANY ERRORS! THANKS FOR THE RUN CARDINALS
Incoming 3-0
>The Shitty of St. Poois
>cardinals ACTUALLY MISS a first base hit
Fucking kek I used to follow these guys
>Szcur replacing Soler in the 7th
based roster depth
I'm nuclear buttmad
Carpenter could have changed this game if he wasn't swinging at everything for MUH POWER
Fuck you
>>66934765
>I'm nuclear buttmad
meth will do that to you
>lackey
>10ks
>1rbi
>Letting Lackey actually get a hit
Lmao, try not to riot St. Louis
HAHAHAHAHAHA BASED Lackey
>>66934846
Tfw you see your OC.
If anyone else was going to put the cardinals in their place, I'm glad it's you Senpai
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xXD14aj6QHY
>tards
damn heyward
Heyward just made his play for the day.
God damn Molina looks like a degenerate
>best fans in baseball
>booing a player simply because hes black
for shame
HEY DIAZ!
YOUR SHOES ARE UNTIED!
>>66935088
>First pitch
>Gives up a double
Why are relievers such garbage?
>>66935168
That doesn't sound like much of a relief.
xaxaxaxaxaxaxaaxax
>>66935168
low self esteem because they cant cut it as starters
the run machine is back in service
MORE RUNS! MORE RUNS!
They sped up the rest of the game to make room for the play under review segment.
>>66935194
Needs more engineers on call. I swear it only works when it doesn't need to.
>take 5 minutes to review
>still get it wrong
how could you see a tag in that?
>>66935279
>Needs more engineers
More like we need a pyro to deal with all these damn spies.
Does Lackey have a stutter?
reee
wood sucks, this game is too close for him
cubs are going to dominate this division for the next decade minimum
lackey pitched a hell of a game for 7
>>66935339
thats just how texans sound
>>66935354
>you now remember Jose Veras
Literally the worst closer in the history of baseball I tell ya h'wat
>>66935339
TARDINALS GETTING BTFO!!!
>chelsea dagger in st. louis
tell me about pedro strop
why does he wear his hat tilted off to the side
>playing chelsea dagger when the hawks are in town
Not your best move, Tards
>>66935618
the next game and previous game were in chicago you fucking retard
>>66935652
I'm speaking figuratively you autistic mongoloid
>>66935778
no you aren't you're just backpedaling now that is has been exposed how retarded you are
eat shit methlouis
>shut out
[W]
CUBS [ W ]IN
cubs win lol
Shut out mother fuckers.
Duds say this will be the same score as the next game where the blackhawks win
>>66933105
Buy more expensive beers with higher abv
Gets you drunk quicker and you have less to spend on more beer
>>66933105
smoke weed
>>66936018
just think, their next win won't be until november
>14 K's
>>66935796
Think what you want, sperglord
>the shitty of meth louis
