Let's play soccer
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You are currently reading a thread in /sp/ - Sports
You are currently reading a thread in /sp/ - Sports
Let's play soccer on this thread.
Post your performance.Let's take it easy!!
>soccer
Ill go in goal, lads.
Hiro, stop shitposting.
>can you translate the commercial in 0:32 to me?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sS02wHXWJjE
>>64730147
Just scored. 1-nil
Pass it to me m8 I'm wide open.
>>64735791
I just scored 7 times. 7-1
Forget OP. Tell me how to get a gf instead.
>>64735813
B urself
>>64735810
>even by scoring 7-1, can't even win a world cup
This is not niggerbash, a goal is worth a single point.
goal!
it's a three pointer outside box by a quarter back
>>64735800
so are your mums legs for me
>>64735871
rekt
I've just dribbled past 3 men and I'm poised to rocket one into the top corner but an Aussie shitposter bares his buttocks at me and I'm distracted and dispossessed
Fuck I just slipped
put me in coach come on man
>>64735810
Im the ref. All were offside
![B7zm8yeCEAAWKp9[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/6Ein7H7.jpg "B7zm8yeCEAAWKp9[1].jpg")
>>64735913
me too coach
I go up the left side to receive the ball. The pass is from oezil so its shit, i have to drift inwards to handle it. Then i see it - a small gap between sakho and mangala. I start sweating, my brain goes into lockdown, i step one, two its getting closer. Sakho racing like a steam engine but i find the space on his left - a faint then a stepover, im past him. I cut inside
i pass expecting a give and go
i am open, very open
the pass never comes
he dribbles until he loses it
>>64735913
>asking the coach to put you on
>never showing him why you should be first name on the sheet
MAN ON!
>>64735964
(Head butts you in the chest)
>>64730147
I just scored fifteen goals after doing a hat spur to each and one of you after snapping my fingers and none of you can stop me
>>64735960
Sorry man I thought i was in the zone
>>64735986
wakes you up after you slipped on the ball and went into a coma
>put cunt in net
>purposely twat the ball at him
>he goes home with ball
good times
HEY COACH! IM GOING IN
While you fagsbare playing gayball I'm on the bench striking up cheeky banter with the 10/10 qt's in the stands. Going to give a few the ole lickaroo in the bathroom after the match. Have fun losing nil to nil
>japan makes quite possibly the dumbest thread in the history of /sp/
In other news water is wet guys
>>64736031
>tripfag comments
>comment is shit
yep, water is wet
>>64736027
>the girls watching are not the players girlfriends blindly supporting them
>they willingly stop showing support to talk to you..
keep dreaming
I've received the ball in the center of the pitch and am lowering the tempo of the play by playing short one twos with the defense.
>>64736051
>defense
>>64736051
I'm playing short one twos with this bloke, hoping that he'll turn the ball upfield sometime before the half.
>>64736051
I recklessly attempt to tackle. I miss the ball and shatter his ankle.
>coach puts in the guy flirting with the qt supporters instead of me
no fair
I laugh to myself inside as i remember im getting paid 100k a week to pass 5 yards side to side with a team that retains 70 percent of possesion.
We go 2 nil down and i get an early warm bath.
some cunt has brought his 10 year old son to join in
>>64730147
HEY JAP PASS
>>64736119
I ruthlessly tackle the kid and dispossess him leaving him crying on the ground.
I'm going to attempt a dribble guys
>>64736143
I bite this guy,
>>64736140
this renford rejects?
Im convinced this is him in batman. it threw me off
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fk7R_6xqkKw
lads, who's having a cheeky shower after the game?
I can't even get off the bench in a thread where I can do almost anything.
Kill me now.
>>64735910
So does my cock, inside your mums pussy
>>64736102
Hey, I'm not happy about it either. What the fuck am I supposed to do out here, coach is blowing my cover. I'm going to just fake an injury after making a play on the ball. H-h-here I go!
>>64736198
you just scored a fucking goal, why must you torture me
"YOU'RE SHIT AHHHHHHHHHHH", I scream from the touchline when the opposition have the ball
>>64736177
but you got dubs
>>64736173
Me ;)
DAVE? DAVE? DAVE? DAVE IM OPEN FUCK OFF DAVE YOURE A BOLLOCKSY
I hit I long range effort from 35 yards if trips it goes in dubs the keeper saves and singles it goes wide
>>64736478
Nice shot to the stands faggot.
As the keeper I position myself between my two cbs in good ol sweeper keeper fashion.
*cut inside*
>>64736478
YOU'RE SHIT AHHHHHHHHHH
>CONNOR
EVERYBODY MARK A GUY LADS!
>WHO'S COVERING HIM?!?!?!?!
>I'VE LOST MY GUY!!!
Warming the bench here.
Does anyone needs water? I'd like to be useful, we're a team.
>>64736666
check'd
>>64730147
>let's play soccer
I'm sorry, I'm not a pre teen school girl, but thanks anyways
![footballer-silhouette-free-vector-203[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/z2Ywg6x.jpg "footballer-silhouette-free-vector-203[1].jpg")
I've found some space on the left. Big Robbo switches it to me. I leg it up the line, look up and spot Big Andy making a run into the 6 yard box. He's got his man on toast.
Singles I hit it too hard and the other team take possession
Dubs I land it on his head
>>64736727
Fucks sake, sorry lads
I'm gonna play like my hero Christian eriksen.
>pass comes to me
>take a wild heroic shot from 40 yds away
>keeper palms it away
>someone kicks the corner back to me while I'm outside the box
>shoot from we'll outside the box
>miss again
>rinse repeat for the entirety of the match
anyone for Wembley doubles?
>make first touch
>twist knee
>cruciates gone
>never play again
>life is suffering
I slip a cheeky digit into the other teams striker's butt hole
>>64736709
>chicano
>doesn't like football
>Playing football with mates at the park
>Bunch of Pakis come and challenge us to a game
>We laugh because Pakis are pathetic
>They are all wearing Barcelona shirts
>Disgusting brown skin
>Manlets
>Ugly as fuck
>Dressed in a ridiculous way
>We laugh at the pakis
>accept the challenge
>start playing
>the brown skinned paki fucks turn out to be really good
>they annoyingly shout ''NEYMAR'', ''ALVES'' and such as they play but completely dominate
fast, strong, good passing
>we can't do anything to stop them it seems
>try to tackle one
>he falls to the ground clutching his knees
>look at them again
>brown, manlets, ugly, stupid clothes
>realise they aren't Pakis
>they are the Barcelona first team
>tfw we humiliated ourselves trying to beat the European Champions
>ball out on the wing in the engine room
>i decide to venture out of my defense zone
>call for ball and fuck up controlling
>nervously blast it 60 yards out of bounds but only about 4 yards away from my goal
>>64730147
>Let's take it easy!!
walk on, Jap
>>64737909
